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misszazie Archive

View 10 posts and 317 comments by misszazie on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

It's not about the ban as much as not knowing. I'd rather serve it and learn from it than have it revoked and not know. The community is really important to me and I do strive to level up whenever possible. Never pro sex work, never defend LVMs, nothing like that. I'm almost sure now it's for the new rule about discussing other subs. I didn't see it added, and talked about twoX in a post that blew up later. Before that, my best guess was talking about how gross men make my pussy dry up. I was th…
/r/askFDS02/02/21 01:52 AM
26

I'd rather take a ban than a single man become a member. That really puts it in perspective, thanks. And considering how many subs do get infiltrated, thanks to the mods for doing a good job of preventing it. Never knew history looked different to others, good to know.
/r/askFDS01/02/21 11:10 PM
19

I hate that about today. Some form of porn has always been around, but it was looked at as deviant behavior. There was value in physical intimacy, vs today where whatever gives an individual pleasure and release is all equally valuable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:37 PM
4

I dried up so fast I thought I put a clay mask in my 😺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:25 PM
5

Why Freddie Mercury?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:22 PM
47

Many comments ripped her apart for being 18 and possessive. I just hope she keeps that energy for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:09 PM
2

💯
/r/askFDS27/01/21 07:50 PM
15

She's very entertaining and smart, but I can't agree with a lot of her content. She has a very, "put yourself out there and see what happens" style to her advice. And while learning from experience is valuable, it's not worth the risk for women. There are good parts to pick out though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 03:40 PM
35

Yeah, and men with just clean healthy skin are so much more 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 02:23 PM
68

I know we're not supposed to change men, but once married my daily face lotion with spf will be "ours". But fr, those of you with HVM partners, aren't they free from toxic masculinity and more ok with skin care, basic hygiene, etc? Society might still be resisting but I think there are individuals who rise above it, and it should be something to check for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 02:04 PM
2

Thank you for the really detailed reply. I know what you mean about being too chit chatty, where we end up part of each other's routine and become familiar without really knowing each other, and I won't do that. I do prefer things to be more comversational than direct questions. Like, yesterday I said I liked seeing the storm come in from my office, he asked what I did and if he could show me the view from his, etc. And then he told me about his work, what he used to do. That's been fine. I feel…
/r/askFDS27/01/21 01:42 PM
5

That's really good. I think I have always dismissed my idea of a perfect guy bc I want too much. Like everything is a paradox. Fit but not vain, educated but likes the outdoors, sensitive but not fragile. Loves sports but wants to go to plays with me. I think I would be laughed at by most people I know if I described my ideal partner. I'm not expecting him to be perfect, but he should be as diverse as me.
/r/askFDS26/01/21 10:32 PM
3

Totally see it that way too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 08:48 PM
6

The vetting for OLD section is gone now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 08:23 PM
7

I think there's been several posts from higher level members saying to stop doing it. There are some narrow exceptions so it's never ended up in the hand book. I think when the pandemic is over they should, we'll see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:49 PM
14

I sorta agree, I don't remember it like this. But I also know where I was before FDS. LVMs are growing as it has become normalized. Dad bods, bdsm, gaming, alcoholism, and other things are now whole personality traits. Most HVMs are made, not born, and society is no longer valuing those traits. At the same time, there's been more pressure on women to fuck like men or feel good about supporting his year long unemployment. I fully reject the idea that the path to gender equality means surrendering…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:34 PM
30

Think it was meant to be fwb but his stream of consciousness writing style wouldn't allow fixing it. Or he's an idiot who doesn't proof read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:50 PM
21

How long until FDS just band online dating entirely? Definitely been many, many posts about why it's a bad idea. After the pandemic do we full out say don't do it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:40 PM
26

Feb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:38 PM
131

I must not be very smart. I've never stopped to think about the feminist aspects of a man raping a woman. I've always blindly believed it was disgusting and vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:00 PM
20

I thought I said I haven't put much stock into him, sorry if that wasn't clear. What I was saying is that the vast majority of men will say something very early through text that is a red flag. All he is to me is someone that I want to move on to the face time date with, and possibly in person. I continue to talk to others, that hasn't changed. I definitely remember the dumb fox chapter. I should read it again. I haven't interrogated, but I'd like to bring up some topics that could be more insig…
/r/askFDS26/01/21 05:46 PM
409

Do you want to be with me and only me? Anything that's not a yes is a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 02:55 PM
4

Definitely agree that the experience isn't worth it on its own. It does require the right guy. And long term right guy, not just for a month or whatever. Ty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:55 PM
2

It's a lot of up front work. I'm half tempted to make a quiz and just have them take it, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:13 PM
6

Definitely. Asking leading questions like, don't you love wine tasting? Results in, oh yes, of course. No, he really likes playing cod all day and if you just ask what's his idea of a perfect weekend you'll hear that in there. I need to get past the first few dates. I've already pissed off half the guys by saying I don't do coffee, walks, or drinks. I don't care that they're mad but it gets old after a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:11 PM
6

Your response lives rent free in my head this week... Every way you described OLD viewing these things it what drive me to post. You killed me at creativity. I have examples in mind of each and thinking more thoroughly about them is helping even more. I'd journal more if I didn't hate my handwriting. I know I can have a blast just having conversation and dinner together. But I also need to enjoy things that don't involve talking. I want to dance, I want to look at stars, I want to listen to musi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:07 PM
7

Yeah, I want a partner who feels joy and excitement from more than just sex. And I need to see the creativity out of him to initiate it. Maybe part of my issue is feeling like there are many objective topics to go through and you don't want to evaluate a date just based off the feelings you get when together. But they count too and I want dating as an adult to still have aspects it had back in school when you did things more impulsively. It's tough to balance and I think I was looking to hear ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 10:23 PM
4

The closer I get to dating again (weeks away from my second vaccination) and the more I talk to guys, they just seem so frozen by fear. Like, they really want to play the safest bet possible, but you can tell that some would prefer to do something more. And I don't want to explicitly say those things, he needs the initiative. I'm tempted to ask about it like a random question and see if his mind fires or stalls. I love good conversation. I'm really lucky one of my roommates is a good guy and I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 10:15 PM
6

Giving her what? I missed that? I'd say it depends on if there's a ring on her finger or not. I'm not doing any of that without full commitment after a solid year of seeing how he uplifts my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:26 PM
160

Capitalism and sexism are in a symbiotic relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:18 PM
15

The same, bc I will continue to take care of myself and never become dependent. If I meet a guy who has the means to provide for us both, cool. But he wouldn't want a woman who's content with that, he'll prefer someone with his values.
/r/askFDS23/01/21 02:15 PM
191

You are what you are but it doesn't mandate behavior. My bff is the biggest empath I've ever met. She feels other people's emotions easily and vividly. You know what she does? Sits in her room alone and content unless it's to hang out with healthy, happy people. Empath doesn't mean being a horse whisperer for the toxic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:10 PM
21

I stand corrected, I really only remembered him in the pool house and her moving on. Richard is def LV. I suppose Emily only had standards for others and not herself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:42 PM
46

I never saw it all the way through. I remember her tossing him out for ignoring her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:31 PM
82

Facts. But also I'm not submitting to anyone ever. I'll listen and work together, but nobody is going to place themselves above me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:11 PM
510

Today I will remember, I am not a fried chicken 🍗🍗🍗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 01:48 PM
366

She was super controlling and made huge mistakes. But her standards weren't one of them. Edit: fact checking revealed Emily only preached standards and had weak follow through, ty for pointing it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 01:47 PM
310

How normalized has grooming and casually sexualizing everything become that this didn't set off a hundred alarms for the mom and she questions herself and feels guilty? FML throw the whole society away. He's a sick fucking pervert and every adult should see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:34 PM
46

That's how my last long term relationship ended regarding marriage. There was always some hurdle that required half a year to correct and reevaluate. I can't remember if the handbook sets a hard limit, but he really needs to propose by one year or so or leave. So definitely agree with you about setting a timeline together and make sure he stays on it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:22 PM
21

Excellent tips, ty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:15 PM
141

Definitely divorce. I'm furious for her and also deeply saddened. Since adoption is the only way I can have a family, it's also something I am really scared of. I never thought it could go all the way to marriage and be lied to. What do you all think of talking about it during the relationship and see if he takes initiative instead of just agreeing with my thoughts and plans?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:57 PM
22

I'm not blaming her when I say, this is why we level up first, find a partner after. For whatever reason, she got into this relationship, but also became dependent in it. We should always be able to gtfo when something goes wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:12 PM
9

I don't know if I believe we do. We process rejection in a more healthy way. We reflect, analyze, feel a little emotion, and move on. Remember men have the most fragile egos in the entire animal kingdom. For a man to be able to move on quickly after rejection requires incredible amounts of delusion or narcissism, blaming the women who are interested and sometimes reacting in anger towards them. And after a breakup of a relationship, it's often men who completely collapse after a month and can't …
/r/askFDS21/01/21 02:00 PM
78

Anyone else want to hear the man say, let me take you to dinner? If he says it like that then to me, there's no ambiguity that he's planning on paying. Saying, let's meet up here Friday, what? Are we just hanging out or are you taking me on a date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:47 PM
20

Oh, please let this happen at work bc this would go straight to hr. Unfortunately, I know not all companies protect their workers. And in that case I'd still make a face of disgust and walk off, rather than engage. I don't think the response given by OP is professional at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:11 PM
11

I think I'm ok with FDS being correct over becoming mainstream. And not that we shouldn't be both among women, but men will always fight it tooth and nail, slander and misrepresent us. I definitely feel your frustration, and I wish things were different, but I don't know if I see things changing. The people they bring on are in no way qualified. It's a promotional gimmick and has nothing to do with quality advice, but something that's going to earn a scrote a dollar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:26 PM
140

No, I don't think we should respond at all to these kinds of people. Yes, turning the tables on them might seem good, but we're just encouraging their behavior actually. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:06 PM
5

I don't want to think of specifics bc it takes away from the evenual surprise, but I know the ingredients. I want it to be captured in pics or video. Which means I want to be looking better than average. Makeup, hair, a nice dress or outfit. I want friends and family nearby to share the love afterwards, but not be necessarily included in the proposal. I'd like to be standing and him to be kneeling. Ok, I'm two more of these away from crying, lol. Better stop!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 08:25 PM
4

One would be what someone else mentioned, being alone and isolated if needing to say no. Also if it's the kind of place that feels average vs special. Like, I live near the ocean, and very beautiful parts, but it's not engagement worthy. It's a preference, but it does give off low effort vibes. Then again, a restaurant isn't guaranteed to work either if it's an Applebee's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 08:16 PM
108

Cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 05:40 PM
14

Power imbalances are not kinks. We need more people to understand the difference. Kinks are ok, they're just unconventional things people enjoy. It could be a certain position, or dirty talk, or erroneous areas that not everyone has. If I enjoy being lightly restrained, and I ask for it, I have the power. I consented, I can free myself, my partner is complying with me. This is not the same thing as being tied up and having to go along with it unless I pop a safe word. People who get off on eithe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:12 PM
63

Short men can have an inferiority complex and tall men a superiority one. Men are trash and their height just brings it out in them. Height doesn't determine a HVM, date who you're attracted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 01:57 PM
31

Grind. Memes are written by gross men who don't actually have sex. Don't let that ruin what's good for women in the bedroom. With you on top he can feel your body and enjoy the intimacy of being face to face. If he's worried about the in and out for his pp he's bad in bed and you don't want him anyway. You're not his human fleshlight.
/r/askFDS18/01/21 01:53 PM
57

FDS has nothing to do with getting a guy to fall for you, that's a male perspective of trapping someone. FDS has always been about standards, living well without men, and avoiding scrotes. It's a strategy to date in a world where being a straight woman is a curse. So hell yes we'll focus on our careers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 01:45 PM
19

On his way? Uber driver trying to get a real estate license.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 01:35 PM
26

I'm not playing hard to get, that implies it's a front bc deep down I secretly desire him. Idgaf about him. Who is he? What does he have to offer? Is he caring and trustworthy? Sorry I'm not obligated to give my heart and vagina away for free while I figure out what kind of guy he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 01:28 PM
123

The instant he put his hands on me? What's that really good Daniel Day Lewis movie? Oh yeah. There will be blood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 04:38 PM
46

I always wanted a golden retriever. Men treating us like animal breeds is dehumanizing as fuck. Immediately no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:40 PM
76

Anal play or porn style? I enjoy my entire body being stimulated and appreciated. But I need a partner who is connected to what I'm feeling. So rubbing around there or applying light pressure? Game. Deciding to tear it apart so his dick can feel a different hole while e.coli gets loose? Wtf is wrong with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:37 PM
25

Bc they're obsessed with underaged girls and they don't want to admit they're sick f*cks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 07:01 PM
24

I'm creeped out for the day now, TIHI 😥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:13 PM
17

I have had a lot of work done. I did it for me, nobody else. If anything, men have told me not to or to stay natural. I think that's wrong form then or anyone to judge me for that. It's not only had a positive impact on my well being, but also my career. OP is entitled to her opinion but I don't think it needs to be blasted like that, very one sided.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:02 PM
26

Make a hot air balloon with it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:53 PM
13

Ten times a day is a drop in the bucket. And remember it's a fast growing community, while you might have gotten the message, there's others who haven't. Do I miss actual strategy content? Yeah. I do. I'd be really happy if they had a spin-off sub that was specifically for handbook material. But there's value in the memes and crossposts. The comments show how the handbook is applied to each situation. I haven't gotten tired of roasting men, but I can see how some have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:13 PM
66

Better stay tf away from care bears 😤 I've seen some images of these scrotes. It's so disturbing. Idk why the first one to walk outside like that wasn't immediately committed, given a full psych eval, while authorities went through his hard drive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:03 PM
96

Also getting serial killer vibes. Like where they save odd parts of things in jars as mementos, but people describe as normal when in the public eye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 01:33 PM
20

She was wrong to clean a grown man's room. But let's pass that, jars of pubes are things you would throw away. I wouldn't have to sit and wonder, is this trash, or is this decor. Part of FDS is realizing how disgusting men are, and how to spot pickme behavior like the woman in the story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 01:32 PM
255

He's perfect in every other way No he's not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 01:25 PM
126

People who are good in bed make vanilla mind blowing. There's way more to sex than whips or saying daddy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:31 AM
13

It's not originally mine, but I loved it since I heard it. Men can definitely support women, but not by claiming to be feminists. And it's not even possible for them to be one anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 06:41 PM
99

I think he did. He doesn't see women as anything more than sex givers. Vending machines as you said
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 06:01 PM
191

I wonder how many guys know there are women who say they don't but really mean, not yours. I'll drink a cider from the bottle, but not if it was just pulled from a dumpster of sweat, hair, and butt. And even asking it like that, immediately no 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:52 PM
23

I have limits about things like blm and abortion. You can like low taxes or guns but not support the mistreatment of others. We can disagree on policies, not ethics. And to me, denying basic human rights is unethical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:44 PM
1

Yikes, ty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:16 PM
3

Too fucking emotional, must be our periods 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:44 PM
36

Probably? Commit to it. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:22 PM
39

I'm a liberal progressive and won't date one. They've latched onto the libfem sexpos bullshit and exploit the fuck out of it. If a man ever says he's a feminist, I say bullshit you're still breathing. Go yeet urself. Ideal man for me has traditional values, but believes all people should be treated equally. And shows it in action, not wokeness. But fr I gave up on white men bc the hypocrisy was too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:21 PM
27

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:16 PM
44

As others have said, block and delete. I don't mean to read into things, so if I'm wrong, sorry. But that gives off, I need male attention vibes, to me. So if you want male friends or like texting guys like that when you already have a bf, maybe there's something you can level up personally. Bc needing male attention is a weakness LVMs will always exploit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:15 PM
34

It's embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:05 PM
25

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:36 PM
2

They do run run, they do run run 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:04 PM
10

I do love that answer 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:50 PM
10

5'11 here in total agreement
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:40 PM
119

Tall isn't a personality tho. I swear the 6'2 men that have zero else going for them is rising
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 02:22 PM
41

Yeah. Nobody with cancer is walking around all high and mighty like, a good woman learns to love their tumor. Now the Dr is like, we don't know if it's benign or.... Cut it off doc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 02:02 PM
3

No, I really agree with you. And I like the way you put it. To be honest, I did get a little uppity. Something about how quickly he went from matching, to texting, to asking to meet, I didn't think there was a HVM in there. So I went off slightly in the way I rejected the walk. I've gotten some good encouragement and tips for next time, thank!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:07 PM
6

Exercise, love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:48 PM
48

Many women where I live prefer coffee/walks/drinks. They want to bail fast bc they're used to disappointment, or bc they don't want to feel obligated from the date. So I'm not surprised that men offer what they think the woman wants. There's part of me that wants to say in some way, are you sure that's what you really want to do with someone you like? You're right, I don't want to bargain, negotiate, convince a guy in order to make things right. I should just decline and move on. But I really ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:22 PM
68

Thank you. You're totally right about that I shouldn't explain myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:53 PM
4

The cringe 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:26 PM
1

Yeah, I'm a pickme for having a preference in how my men look. You have your own preference and that's good for you, cheers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:14 PM
1

That's hardly emotional. Not being attracted to something isn't hatred. And you know you wouldn't be attracted to a man like that either, but won't say it. So I really won't be listening to your views on misogyny, if I need any help it would be from someone genuine. Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:56 AM
0

I'm not sure where the confusion is coming from. I don't care if the guy puts the purse around his shoulder and walks off. That's no problem. Me not being attracted to men in women's apparel or accessories has zero to do with internalized misogyny. There might be a HVM in a drag show, doesn't mean I have to be attracted to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:53 AM
-3

If you don't think men and women act differently, that's up to you. It has nothing to with homophobia. I like gender roles. If you're happy with a man in a dress and purse, I totally support you and him. But it's not for me, that's my preference. I don't need to do better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:39 AM
0

That's not what I'm saying. In the video her example of the right way for him to hold it was a little extra. Just holding it like a normal bag is good enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:58 PM
39

I admire her so much. Her looks and energy, just made me feel so much stronger and happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:49 PM
9

I'm sure there is something between being disgusted by a purse and trying to see if it goes with his outfit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:37 PM
100

She's more than a pickme. You're describing child abuse. It seems you're aware of things now, and I hope you also realize the power in the knowledge you've gained. Just as the handbook promotes financial independence from men, you need to do the same with your family. They are toxic and need to be cut off. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but they are never going to understand and always going to make your life difficult. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:51 PM
3

For some it's both. But even if someone didn't want a wedding, passing on marriage seems dumb. I've heard people say it's none of the government's business, like they're more woke for not doing it. But then splitting kids and assets becomes a nightmare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:08 AM
2

I get that too. I guess I want both, but definitely want the wedding smaller.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:27 AM
1

Bc $20-50k for a day is hard when you went through two major catastrophes and your parents weren't great at saving We do have to work harder for our happily ever after, but still should
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:05 AM
21

Also, I didn't mean "good for you" in a patronizing way. I meant like I'm glad it's special for you too I just can't relate as well to the spiritual aspects you value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:18 PM
16

Good for you :) I'm not religious. For me it's about wanting that amazing day, and having something beautiful to reminisce about together as years go by. If a man says he can see himself grey and wrinkly, and be fine that he never experienced that, he's broken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:15 PM
22

Tell him he's in the friend zone, without saying he's in the friend zone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:51 PM
110

There are many practical reasons to get married. But if a man doesn't see the sentimental value in it for himself, he's not for me. Idk about other places, but where I'm at, a husband and wife command a level of respect that cohabitating partners don't. And I choose that for me or nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:46 PM
222

It's embarrassing, being that needy as a grown male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:40 PM
52

Buy a leash and collar and take him for a walk before bed. If it happens again, rub his nose in it and give him a swat with a firm, NO! If it continues, home depot has small shelters for the back yard at a reasonable price. Lay some old blankets down and he should be ok. Consider attaching leash to the shelter so he doesn't howl at the door all night and you can sleep in peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:22 PM
45

Right, this is why we shouldn't date men with kids. The daughter would never say that to a bio mom. The huge huge red flag to me is asking her o leave her place. Fuck that. You want alone time with her, you go somewhere. I'm quite furious about imagining that situation. In general, it's good for a dad and daughter to spend time together. But not a whole damn weekend. Go spend half the day together and come home to family time. Final offer. But really, he should have been the one to say that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:08 PM
13

I don't have a comprehensive answer but I'm sure it goes beyond leslie knope. Someone they don't have to worry about. She doesn't add stress or concern to him about finances, health, fidelity, responsibilities. He has complete confidence in her. Someone they admire. They don't have ego problems or feel bad about themselves from a powerful, successful woman. They're proud of her and motivated by her. Someone who they can never dominate. A HVM will be someone used to leading and accomplishing goal…
/r/askFDS09/01/21 02:51 PM
2

Thanks The ones I'd consider are around SF. My entire life I've never been completely alone on any of those trails within the city. I wouldn't go anywhere remote unless he was my bf. Brunch after for sure, it's half the fun. I don't drink on the first few dates.
/r/askFDS08/01/21 11:55 PM
2

It's a combination of morning person plus active. From what you've said, the best approach is to say I'll go for my walk and meet for brunch after. Then notice if he sleeps in or does his own weekend activity. Thanks!
/r/askFDS08/01/21 04:41 PM
2

Yeah, I would never go anywhere remote. There are several I go on where you're never out of sight of another person. So like, if we talk about common interests, I would list hiking, and he could suggest going on one together. It's still him planning. It's come up prior to FDS, and I'm just trying to understand how to handle it now and follow the handbook. I could just say, that's something I'd be more comfortable with later on. But I would like to see we are compatible in the morning before deci…
/r/askFDS08/01/21 04:19 PM
15

Not very sex positive of him, is it 🙄😤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:07 PM
150

Mental desensitization vs physical shortcuts. You can still get a woman who uses toys off. At least she knows her body and how to climax, you just have to be good. If you break your brain on porn, no flesh and blood woman can fix that. You've changed your arousal queues from women to power dynamics and bizarre elements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 03:42 PM
15

Right, I don't broadcast that part. It's beyond being a pickme, it's now a likeme to the rest of the world. Get her pregnant is gross. I don't even like thinking about it and I want to be a mom. It's just a vulgar misogynistic attitude. And the bar for men is so low, that hearing any could actually want kids now means it's a compliment? No, I can get myself pregnant if that's all I care about, what a zero value contribution. Why not say, that's a woman I will provide for and protect, plus our fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 03:07 PM
39

I can't see myself doing this bc when it comes to gift giving or date planning, the surprise of it is half the excitement. Now, if I'm in a committed relationship with a hvm? Sure, I could do this. It's kinda corny but whatever. The difference is, once investment, trust, and commitment are established, it's two people building up each other. Doing something like this in the dating phase just to get liked better, no. It will lower his effort level. And if she built up her own value it would be un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:05 PM
90

Can confirm. When seated at my desk and someone walks up to talk to me. I'm 5'11, slip my heels back on, and stand up to discuss whatever they have to say. You can hear the shift in tone. Guys are height intimidated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 01:58 PM
70

Yeah, I was a developer out of college and it broke me. After a switch I've come back, in a management role, and it's different. Though I still detest them. Male engineers are some of the worst scrotes in public.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 01:56 PM
9

Yeah, I had both done but it was for myself. I never listened to a man's opinion about it or considered if I would be more or less attractive to them after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:55 PM
10

But if it were animal abuse she'd immediately block and delete. We have been desensitized to violence against women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:41 PM
4

Love it! 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:26 PM
8

I've always wanted to slap a man into lifelong chiropractic care
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 07:00 PM
36

Was thinking that too. They'd prefer a realistic sex doll over a flesh and blood woman immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:28 PM
171

These men aren't attracted to women. Sorry but this is a normal part of a woman's life. And a man who loves adult women will not see it as a turn off, but as part of our journey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:29 PM
23

And wipe their feet, and don't slam the door, and stop playing with center console 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:43 PM
15

I'm sorry you had to go through that, tbh I wish I dealt with less in the calm way you did. Something needs to be done about objectification being protected as preferences. But I can't find the words. Bc yeah I like a man with a big smile or thick thighs, but I can't understand how men can take a preference and turn it into absolute obsession. It seems like a mental illness, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:35 PM
54

We usually point out all the flaws men have, but here it was her idea, and it broke him. Like I'm really mad at her. Did she think someone who loved her could pretend to rape her? If he's the empathetic sort, then that wasn't just, stop this feels weird. But actually thinking what rape would be like for a woman and that can be permanently scarring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:18 PM
269

Communication, counseling, spicing up the bedroom. The trinity of LVM reddit advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:58 PM
161

Women, why do you want a man who makes more than you if you're not a golddigger? Bc we don't want to her shit about it when we level up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:59 PM
132

One, the waiting for sex. This was a hard thing for me to commit to bc I like sex. And yeah, the hedonist in me wants to know if we're compatible bc it does matter in a relationship. I understand why it's part of the handbook better now, but when I first read that part I literally thought, no fucking way. A bigger reason is it runs contrary to what we've been told is equality. Opening our own doors, paying our own meals, initiating dates, and not needing commitment. Idk who was speaking for wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:13 PM
6

No, you're fine
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:21 PM
37

We had gone to bed with me saying I wasn't in the mood to even be touched. So he knew he was doing something I wasn't ok with. I'd love to get to the point of having enough trust in a relationship to allow some touching or kissing to wake me up, and then maybe ignite something. But my entire sexual past seems to be having my consent and limits attacked and I can't even picture what you described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:57 PM
79

It is. I had an ex that tried something in my sleep and I was frozen in fear. I never saw him again after I left the next day. I always felt bad calling it rape bc I know other women experience more trauma or violence. But calling it anything but rape doesn't help them, it just lets off men like that from what they really are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:32 PM
56

At least he understands the concept of taking someone out. I'll immediately block someone who just wants to hang out at home without ever meeting or dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:25 AM
23

I agree. I'm unable to have children now, but I could have had I focused on my career instead of my relationship when I was younger. Being a single mom is very demanding. In some ways I was just trying to have a more normal workload. But at the same time, if I valued myself properly I wouldn't have spent so much time on a guy just because I couldn't be alone. Also, don't take your healyfoe granted. Surprises come up, so if something is a priority, treat it like one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 08:30 PM
20

Looks like it also took 7 years to get married looking at her extensions. Gorgeous, btw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:56 PM
21

Probably staged, but I've seen walls punched for less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:29 PM
98

Believing power must be horribly imbalanced is getting old. I'm a strong woman, I want a strong man that's my equal. I want to be challenged, and I want us to grow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:53 PM
78

Bumble is like an ugly hat catalog
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:32 AM
4

We're not overweight, we're women. They lost touch with reality from fitness marketing or porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:20 AM
40

Beards don't look better. They just give lazy men an excuse not to shave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:11 PM
21

I was just thinking about how disorganized my vetting process is. Like, I know my red flags when they pop up but don't have a list to go through and check. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:58 PM
20

We don't need them, and it drives them mad to be so insignificant in this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:40 PM
82

They're just so shallow and lazy, and they know it. The fact that the strategy starts with being alone is better than being with that kind of man, scares them. Bc they lose all power, but also are too weak to change. Boo hoo, they can cry all they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:55 PM
21

She's going to have to break the lease and cut him off. I know how she probably felt when he moved in, but this is why FDS says no living together without a ring. I hope she has a good dad or brother to step in and help her move
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:33 PM
17

He's already sleeping with someone else I'm sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:36 PM
21

He absolutely cost her all her friends and family
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:32 PM
11

Yeah, that's not the relationship you want. You did the right thing. Porn is non negotiable. To me, coworkers occasionally do need to get out of the office and discuss things privately, especially about workloads or managers. And then it becomes hard to set boundaries about frequency. A spur of the moment run is different than a weekly habit. For me what sealed it is that he brought it up. Like, you don't like me jerking to naked women? What about Jill from accounting? I wouldn't trust him. Curi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:08 PM
103

Women have been discouraged from being competitive athletically, academically, and professionally. We've only been allowed to claim self worth from being attractive and making men happy. Of course stories are going to push that. We need to throw it out and tell our daughters to be proud of their accomplishments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 03:18 PM
3

She can't even see how wrong the porn and oral thing was. Like, that's not sex girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:45 PM
39

I've been hugging my friend so much she's getting annoyed, lol. Not on purpose it's just been a while. Self touch. Pillows to hold, brushing my hair, touching my neck or belly. Nothing erotic but I can practice loving myself through touch .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:58 PM
38

Said the same thing. And it still happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:27 PM
8

Why are you wasting your time and money on him???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:20 PM
23

And this behavior is common place. Only thing interesting about him is he blew his cover and lizard brain is screeching for sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:21 PM
27

Isn't there a difference between always trusting intuition and only trusting intuition? Sorry, just thought there's room for more ways of discernment?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:15 PM
38

Yeah, no way I'd tolerate that. It's fun to laugh about things together, like, remember that time you spilled wine everywhere? Not calling me a klutz forever bc of it. One is a shared experience, one is a power move that puts someone down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:18 AM
166

Sex is not a right or necessity. Body autonomy is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:30 AM
10

No, men did that to themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:17 PM
349

You have to enjoy dating for it to work. Like getting dressed, being out maybe somewhere new, and spending time with someone you're attracted to. I'm really sick of men focused on just sex, ruins everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:39 PM
95

Men know it too, it's intentional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 07:18 PM
27

Not for me. Yeah, sometimes it's just not going to happen but with a good partner, things still feel good and it's nice to be intimate. I don't have to fake anything, and he should understand that's how my body is. If his feelings are getting hurt or he's causing drama, he can give his hand an orgasm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:15 PM
54

He held her and...? He might be a fine guy but he really couldn't have done less here. Maybe a head pat? I think she was trying to be strong when she said go to work, god knows we're always expected to. But wife's father passing away is definitely a justifiable reason to close down. Go be with her and your kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 07:52 PM
138

Nothing was attempted, it was rape. That first comment has me seething. I had an ex who would do stuff while I slept and I'm still not over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 07:43 PM
192

I would get so frustrated as a black woman trying to date. Everything they do seems contextualized around men. If she's with a black man it's about how great he is. If she isn't then it's about being fed up with them. It's never about an individual person making independent decisions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 05:45 PM
255

We don't need men, and they know it. When they see single moms thriving, it reminds them of their inferiority, and they lash out. I only have my brother and he's wonderful. But I've seen it from male friends whenever I've done something that makes them feel insecure. Their egos are fragile af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:28 PM
53

The only reason it was true for a generation is because they refused to let women drive at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:02 PM
76

Came for this. I read that and was like, you can be all that and more and it won't change a damn thing. The way a man treats a woman depends more on who he is as a person than anything about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:00 PM
18

Definitely not the first instance of abuse. He's already done worse to her that she's willing to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 08:16 PM
8

Emergency tube top
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:08 PM
23

Oof, I did the slouching thing too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:53 PM
15

Weight gain is true, lol. Clothing not so much, every skirt becomes a miniskirt and bodysuits will split me in half. Shoes? 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:51 PM
18

Thanks. When I was teased for it I wasn't old enough to know it came from them being intimidated. I believed them that it was gross. FDS helped bc I don't care what men think anymore. They'll criticize anyone. Men who aren't intimidated will signal interest, and I'll forget the rest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:48 PM
11

I'd end up running towards anyone 6'3 and up which was a horrible way to choose men. I tried dating shorter men to feel less superficial, but physically, we didn't click. So I never got to the point of seeing their insecurities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:44 PM
437

5'11 Since I found FDS I went from hating my height and having major confidence issues from it, to letting myself love it and never feel like I'm less desirable bc of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:16 AM
20

I'm all for medical privacy, but that's only when what you have doesn't affect someone else. If you have covid, you need to tell people so they can take necessary actions. If you don't say you have a disease that can cause cervical cancer in me, then you care more about yourself than me dying. Fuck you and your dick, we're done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:23 PM
144

I saw a study that graphed ages of people with the age of their ideal partner. Women choose men a couple years older until 28-30, when it's about the same age, and then prefer men a year or two younger. Men start off wanting a woman who's 19, and it barely changes. Men in their 50's still want a woman who's 24. Clearly, the majority of men only value women for sex. But not even for the physical pleasure of sex. It's a warped mixture of powerlessness, innocence, and adolescence they obsess over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:50 PM
22

So what do we do with her when he leaves her for another woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:49 PM
5

There's a lot of good advice here. I guess I thought I could find a hvm who might have lost his wife for reasons beyond his control. I really love kids. I'm playing with my friend's all day. Something about the adoption process seems intimidating, but maybe I'm wrong. Thanks again :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:33 AM
19

I used to be really into it too, and I was much happier just incorporating activities into my life. I forget in some places it's not convenient to do things outdoors. I think I just have an aversion to men who overwork their biceps and send mirror selfies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:52 AM
4

This is going to be against the grain, but please hear me out. I had to have a full hysto this year. It sucks, but here I am. I always wanted to be a mom, and raise young children. Adoption is definitely an option, and a good one. And meeting a single dad doesn't excuse any of the requirements I have for a partner. His kids aren't bonus points to overlook his flaws. But I hope some of you could understand why I wouldn't mind him having kids if everything else checks out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:55 PM
32

I really resent how incapable men are of relating to our bodies. What a shitty combo a uterus and hormones can be at times. So I absolutely expect a man to be the kind who knows he can't imagine what we go through and chooses to just believe us instantly when we say how we feel. Non negotiable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 01:44 PM
56

If dick size mattered to her she wouldn't have committed. We say a million times over that there's more to pleasing a woman than just having a big penis. But that's how out of touch these men are with reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:51 PM
22

Yeah. God knows why she chose him, but she did. Leaving someone for someone else has nothing to do with being bi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:48 PM
42

Toddler behavior. What is wrong with these people? She definitely needs to leave him. And be really blunt about how gross he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:33 PM
19

They're all the same guy 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:42 PM
22

Actually prefer guys who don't go to the gym bc I consider that mostly vanity. Be active. Hike, okay sports, row, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:40 PM
14

They're a lost species. They don't have anything to offer biologically or to society. Their entire existence is to try and drag others into their world. They're a waste of time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:00 PM
7

KAM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:49 AM
66

I will love my children no matter what. I'll be proud of every accomplishment they achieve. Sex work is not an accomplishment. I'd be constantly concerned if she was ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 05:16 PM
72

My prime But fr, definitely the all expenses paid for a trip to Cancun. We were in a LDR at that point and for xmas I paid for his and my family to meet there as well, hoping we'd also turn a corner towards marriage. Broken up 6 months later due to infidelity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:01 PM
56

Cue the simp comments from porn sick lvm goblins...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 01:43 PM
23

They can't control themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 06:00 AM
8

Captain marvel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 05:53 AM
48

Yeah, I lost 8 years to someone who always had a very logical, practical reason why it just wasn't the right time. They were just lies so he could have the comfort of a girlfriend. I wish I noticed sooner but I always thought I could make it one more year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:24 AM
238

Thanks for your effort, and everyone who made FDS the only sub truly empowering and protecting women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:07 AM
38

That's OLD. White men who are smothered in mediocrity thinking they're all a woman desires bc they're high af on their privilege.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:20 PM
54

Why do I read every line as, "look at all the ways I avoid being with her"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:19 PM
8

They only have one thing to offer, green card eligibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:04 PM
27

Sick. He's ethical just enough to not do it, but still getting off at seeing the pain inflicted by threatening it. I'd be gone. If I got anything less than a very remorseful apology and a zero tolerance for it going forward, it would be for good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:35 PM
21

Why does this sound like little boys who need their mom to come watch everything they do and give them never ending approval?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:01 PM
188

Really any app. And even the ones who want a relationship, if you ask them why they really just want regular sex and emotional reassurance. Forget wanting to build a future, provide for someone, develop bonds that enrich both your lives. They can't imagine that bc their heads are filled with porn, video games, and insecurities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:45 PM
74

He's looked into buying an international woman for sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:32 PM
95

How does marrying me fix things? Put a ring on trash and it's just another child to take care of. That's actually worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 08:14 PM
29

He can sit or he can go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 01:15 PM
80

Jokes on him, bc it would take someone braindead to go out with him twice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:32 AM
19

I cleaned my place today, like full disinfect mode. I can't really enjoy relaxing if the place is messy. So why are guys so oblivious to filth? Can anyone explain this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:25 AM
17

What part of our bodies aren't sexualized? Doesn't matter what we hide or show, men will still try to make their sexual fixations our problem. Only answer is stfu and mind your own business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 08:23 PM
42

YES! Idgaf what you say about feminism, let me see how you actually treat a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 08:20 PM
76

She realized she was an adult dating a child. Still did him a favor the way she handled it. He is so fucking clueless omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 08:00 PM
39

Conflicting feelings? I don't feel conflicted about women being abused, dehumanized, raped and trafficked. I feel really certain about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:20 PM
15

So we're manipulating women more? Bc you enter a monogamous relationship with someone you thought evolved past their sex drive. And now you want to cheat and then place the blame on her? If a man is going to put his sex life above his partner, he has no business being in a relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:02 PM
90

Look at all those red flags 👀🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:55 PM
7

Anyone else listen to Megan thee stallion and feel like she's part of FDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:52 PM
64

I know what you mean, but it's not all of them. I had a partner who was big enough that sex was impossible. He was very into getting a woman off. But like, too much. Idk, sex should be a mutual thing together and instead it felt like someone with an obsession of a woman's orgasm. I felt the same disconnect I have from men who don't care at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:06 PM
34

When they do, it's about their ego
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:14 AM
21

It's called pedophilia
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:56 PM
281

Idk what y'all complaining about, it's wonderful seeing a brother and sister get along so well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:52 PM
48

He's stuck believing women over 35 or whatever age have less value. They only do with low quality men. Their opinions, like his, are irrelevant. And like others have said, men need strategies to get a date. Women need strategies to get fewer dates but from better men. Nobody here is desperate, nor do we need luck. And it's true at any age. End of the day, I don't care what men think about FDS. Though it's kinda funny how they always think their opinions matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:01 PM
52

With my partner, I want to be able to tell him everything, do anything together, and be there for each other. For me, that builds intimacy and attraction. But I wouldn't call him my best friend, he's just doing what a boyfriend or husband should do. I know who my best friend is, and she understands me on a level that a guy can't. And selflessly bc we're just friends and she's always going to have my best interest at heart. Dynamics are definitely different, I just wouldn't say that being friends…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:46 PM
8

I would never expect that from anyone, it's not fair to them. And to be honest, she was there for me by choice through so much. We used to say we couldn't have gotten through the pandemic without each other. But we would have, just maybe a little bit harder. I think it's more important to me for her to be happy than it is for me to have a shoulder to lean on. I'm sorry for what you're going through and hope new friendships come up after you take some time to grieve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:32 PM
9

I had some surgeries this year and complications during recovery. I think it was hard talking about our lives and mine was always like, trying to do basic necessities. She wanted a friend ready for life. It was hard. I could have understood taking a break or space, but when she blocked me on everything I knew it was really over. Shocked me quite a bit. I honestly know I love her. I wish things had been handled differently but I still wish her the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:14 PM
55

Went through the same thing a few weeks ago. I think they surprise us bc friends shouldn't need a hard split like a relationship does. Plus we really grow closer to friends faster, know them longer often. It sucks but it gets better. And it's better to have only healthy relationships in your life, bc otherwise they will become a burden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:02 PM
43

I once woke up to my ex pulling off my underwear at 2am. One of the worst feelings I ever had was being completely paralyzed by fear. Even though he was my bf, being touched without permission was a weird nightmare. After what seemed like forever I was able to get up and leave. I never saw him again. Reading this makes me so angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:15 PM
38

Literally snorted 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 04:21 PM
3

You're right. The ones I've had have just been unpleasant, and not bc of the guy except one. I'll stick with them a little more and see if I can make them better rather than ditching them entirely. Edit: and to be clear, I mean making the facetime call better, not the guy. Getting better signal, privacy, keeping it short and effective. My shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:21 PM
4

It's all closed where I live. I've seen people say their date has brought food and made it into something nice. Options are very limited and I'm not sure what else is possible that I'm missing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:06 PM
1

Thanks There's a park by the ocean that's nice and also plenty of people around. So, saying that I like going there when I can is a good idea. As long as I'm not saying, let's go here at this time, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 10:42 PM
2

I just got annoyed with covid and trying to facetime with my roommates able to hear. I'll figure something else out that requires more effort than I was asking for
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:33 PM
77

Husband stich is real and super fucked up. Maternity leave in the states is criminal. Deliberately forces a mother to choose between her health and family, and her career. And in countries where the benefits are better, young women face discrimination in the hiring process bc they're viewed as a potential cost. Again, I never feel bad for requiring men to pay on dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:35 PM
10

Where does the handbook go over who picks the location for the date? While I expect men to take initiative, plan things, etc, I do have a particular preference for first dates during the pandemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:23 PM
1

Yeah, you're right, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:06 PM
5

I edited my comment. You guys are right. I did laugh a bit about using their tactics against them. But like I said, facetime isn't an option for me and I didn't know a better alternative. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:04 PM
-1

Edit: Yeah, you guys are right. Facetime still isn't an option for me but it doesn't mean I have to meet without an investment from them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:47 PM
-3

I hate facetime. Quality is poor and it puts you on speaker phone, and I don't have a lot of privacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:40 PM
5

Edit: pointing out that I'm spending my time without any real investment from them is an excellent point. I think I was too focused on simplifying things for myself. Semantics over it being a date or not isn't changing that. So I'm going to handle it differently from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 03:53 PM
31

This is the only place I trust now to be ran by women. And more than that, FDS is a more practical and accurate version of feminism, even though the objectives are social, not political.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 03:05 PM
1

I think there's a difference between taking something seriously vs being consumed by it. It might be shallow if that's all there is to you. Flat out, I was a huge nerd in college with no idea how to look good. It killed my confidence, and held me back. I'm now a much more rounded woman, but it meant taking my looks more seriously than most to catch up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:20 AM
12

That was me, pre FDS. Embarrassing but at times I'd seek out guys who seemed broken bc I thought it would lead to more appreciation and a deeper love. Wrong. Healthy people love you. Unhealthy people use you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:37 AM
5

Yeah, and I think men know that if they can make a woman dependent on them financially, they can get away with whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:33 AM
13

Ugh, that breaks my heart to hear. Those memories aren't even accurate, people have a tendency to forget trauma or repress it, just leaving the ideal or even a disney version of what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:31 AM
24

I get that, but worse than accepting your husband prefers porn over you? How does that work on girl's wine night? Oh yeah, Jim found some really great porn and I'll never get laid again 😒. I don't understand how that's not more shameful. I'd feel like a total failure and be miserable if I were her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:24 AM
51

Is divorce really that scary?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:05 AM
3

He hasn't had sex with a woman 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:38 PM
14

Ok, I was like, you trust your cup way too much. Even cotton underwear? I know microfiber ones bother me too but not cotton. Unless you mean folliculitis from hair removal. I hated that so I did laser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:35 PM
20

Why isn't he in bed? Also, good. He didn't care about a basic necesity of your life compared to what I assume was a video game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:32 PM
5

Ever?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:29 PM
32

That's hard. There are good male obygyns, but many women don't want one. I don't think orientation matters, I wouldn't be more comfortable with a gay gynecologist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:49 AM
65

They also called members of vindicta femcels, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:50 PM
9

Same thought. She's due any day now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:06 PM
16

There's only one way I answer being asked for my number. I want you to think very carefully about why you need to know who I've been with. About how much this really matters to you. Bc if you ask me again, I will honestly tell you. And then you'll never see me again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:03 PM
104

There's so much factually incorrect. The whole explanation about living out of state and locked doors is fucking absurd. Anyone would hang up and dial 911 themselves. You can't cough if you're choking. Muscles for regurgitation are above the epiglottis. It's physiologically impossible for an object that obstructs the trachea to be retrieved by regurgitation. Expelling air via the heimlich is the only way. XXchromosomes is a urinal now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:43 PM
6

Of course he did 🤮 Good male friends are almost as hard to find as good men to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:11 PM
9

That's really how they imagine women, ugh 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:47 PM
13

That's reassuring, thanks. Do you find men to be more argumentative when they comment? That's always been the thing that's thrown me off on reddit. Feeling like women are trying to reach an agreement together, but men always are trying to prove themselves most correct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:29 PM
4

Thank you. Something in me knew this wasn't right and I needed someone to describe it like you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:16 PM
19

Kinda hope FDS mods do a facetime interview for new mods 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:27 PM
8

Really?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:26 PM
7

There absolutely are. For what reason? Idk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:25 PM
7

As they should
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:46 AM
5

And not even point to my horrible misandry and hate speech 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:43 AM
4

Yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:42 AM
8

Then why not just make a rule that you can't be part of FDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:42 AM
2

My gyno is a woman. I love her and am thankful to have someone I trust. For my annual, she sits down and is like, talk! Tell me everything, physical, spiritual, emotional. She seriously wants me happy. And medically, every problem I've had, she's taken seriously. I love my PCP too. Though male, he's also taken Evey concern seriously and for anything reproductive or hormonal, says he will get me a referral if I want. I know that's not common. I'm sorry more women don't have adequate care Btw, wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:41 AM
12

Dating over 30
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:36 AM
9

Wow Like I bitched today about being banned for just subbing to FDS. But to see someone banned for accurate medical advice? Wow. They could have deleted the comment, but went for the ban bc it's not what you said, but who you are. The internet hates women. Not just you, but everyone who's denied proper advice for the sake of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:25 PM
12

I just unmatched with a guy who said he works as a server and is getting his real estate license. Mid 30's. I think I did the right thing. He might be working on improving himself, and if he does, I'm sure he'll find someone then. Can someone explain why I feel bad for not wanting to date someone who works that job?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:02 PM
13

Exactly. They're not good, but should have no stigma around them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:24 PM
20

Or hate us when we support each other?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:03 PM
81

Yeah, totally. It's another example of how we're seen as objects. The slightest deviation from how we started is viewed as a flaw. Someone who truly loves a woman loves her equally in all her phases. We change a lot. Some of us visibly week to week. And that's part of femininity. It should be celebrated. If a guy only likes women who look like we did as teens, we know what we call him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:03 PM
51

The text alone is enough to charge with assault. It's up to the OP to deal with a male dominated police force that will likely want to know, what did she do to him 🙄😤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:48 PM
16

Yeah, they should just write in their rules that they have no discernment and outright ban anyone who dares to stand up for women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:40 PM
178

Cool, so now you could get a restraining order easy peasy if you want. You have written proof he's threatened you with violence. I pray that's the end of it. I'd be sick if I read something like that directed at me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:39 PM
20

For what? I'm fairly sure in the end, mods can ban people for fun if they wanted to. I wouldn't expect reddit to intervene, and definitely not on behalf of FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:32 PM
43

FDS helped me level up and have a clear, concise view of my feminist beliefs. It ended theoretical equality, and made clear divisions of where we're equal as people and special as women. We're a hate sub for having standards that are obtainable. If we had unrealistic expectations, people would laugh us off, and our numbers would dwindle. But no, everything we expect from ourselves and from men is doable. And that's infuriating to lazy men and women trapped in the system. It's their loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:31 PM
15

Dating over 30
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:25 PM
12

Yup 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:23 PM
1

Haha, I remember that one and just wrote, LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 07:06 PM
2

I was referring to assuming we'll cheat bc they aren't women, but I see what u meant by it too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:41 PM
12

Lol, tw. How about all the times we say we can't vaginally, and they're not concerned about our health, it's "what about your mouth/butt?". Puke face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:18 PM
22

The female savior in these movies is unreal. He always needs us to get his life together
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:15 PM
13

The point of the ring is proof that the guy is in a strong enough financial position that the ring is not a burden for him. But still valuable enough to publicly signal how he treasures her. That's why it's roughly supposed to be two months salary. A woman should not be intimated by this, if so she's probably insecure. She shouldn't worry about the cost, bc she didn't pick a man who she has no confidence in. Can someone explain how that's become unacceptable now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:42 PM
9

Yeah, if the basics aren't public, it's a pass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:36 PM
6

We can mention the insecurities it brings out when we tell them too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:34 PM
27

Right, I absolutely hate being treated like a guy if I mention liking women. Defualt hetero, but what's lead to romantic bonds with women always started with friendship, commitment, and admiration
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:33 PM
40

Uh oh, I find older men unattractive, am I broken??? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:59 PM
50

I had a bf for two months and although other issues would have probably broken us up, his ED was the infuriating part. Like, we do wait until value and commitment is shown, and then I got that as a surprise? I tried to be patient and understanding, but not even viagra could save him. Also turned out he had the health of someone twice his age. Don't ever assume someone is healthy based on appearances. I think a quick discussion about health issues before getting too serious isn't outrageous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:59 PM
43

Sorry, who said our bodies had anything to do with empowerment? They were always separate for me. Empower women through success in life's ventures, and freedom from objectification over what we can and can't wear. Getting one isn't a substitute for the other. Both were always non negotiable for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:22 PM
75

I'm older. I have zero bitterness bc I'm happier now than I was in my twenties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 09:17 PM
14

Oops, but still not a good example for him to grow up with. I hope he doesn't lose that sense of right and wrong he's showing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 05:00 PM
18

14 and has this pos for a father figure? At least her instincts are right, she knows what her dad did is wrong. But everytime I hear of women facing this sort of mistreatment, I want to reach out and be like, if you ever need support, call. Edit: didn't realize it's his son, not daughter. Everything still applies, he deserves a better parent and proper role models and support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:48 PM
23

I'm a big believer in giving children their own privacy, creating trust and wanting them to feel safe with anything they want to talk about. The internet is not safe for anyone. Worse for kids, and playing in traffic dangerous for young women. So I'll make sure they know, your internet history is being watched. And sorry, no. My 8 year old doesn't need alone time with a tablet. Be where I can see or hear you, and we put it away before bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:29 PM
19

Exactly. Punishment and degradation are not spicing up sex. It's the reverse. The victim is using sex to enhance the feelings of shame and pain. It's an awful place to get stuck in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:21 PM
38

Therapy x10. No 8 year old should be exposed to porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:16 PM
48

Beyond an asshole, he's the whole fucking colon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:57 AM
22

Red flag. Even if he were age appropriate. Block him and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:19 AM
3

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 11:01 PM
13

What, he liked my photo? BFD If he wants my attention and response, he needs to say something that shows his value and intentions. If I wanted my photo liked I'd go back to IG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:53 PM
24

Do you have supportive friends and family to stay with once things get real? I'm not trying to say what to do, but I'd pack my and my daughter's things and get out. Any time I had to return to get something else it would be with a brother or friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:50 PM
11

I guess I read it differently. Like, if a guy doesn't want to pursue me bc he's trying to upgrade from me? It's not going to work. Not bc I'm better than everyone, but bc I definitely have everything together. Could he find someone more compatible? Yes, bc we're all different. And that's ok. Like, I look at all women who are healthy and successful as at the same level. You can't upgrade from all of us. Sorry for any misunderstanding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:37 PM
3

If she still went out with him, he'd stand her up. Bet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:29 PM
9

This would drive me insane. I can't stand MILs that over step their boundaries, and worse are the sons who let them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:22 PM
1

High odds of it being fake. Let me put myself in her shoes for a minute. I'm 25, peak years of my life. I go for a 37 year old divorced father? Then I cheat on him, with a 20 year old? Who is his son? Like how many undesirable things are happening at once? Girl, if you are out there, we need to talk. I need to see with my 👀 that you exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:09 PM
19

I think you can believe that to be true without being a pickme. It's how my SO should see me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:59 PM
1

Agree, just checking if I was being too paranoid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:50 PM
6

Yeah, that's knees to his chest to prevent further mistakes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:33 PM
17

This is key. If you have a man who gets bored with vanilla, you're in trouble. Why? Bc in a good relationship, with trust, intimacy, respect, missionary can be mind blowing. The best sex I ever had we rarely used more than two positions. I think it's interesting what they've found about brain activity during the female orgasm. The part of our brain responsible for moral judgment gets switched off before climax. I do believe there are some women who get to that point through degradation and belie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:21 PM
20

I'm not mad, therefore everything I'm saying is correct and you have to accept it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:58 PM
11

Omg, I didn't even get past that and RAN to the comments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:07 AM
7

Yeah, and it's his place he's renting out the room. So, he decided to go with a girl. Even if nothing is going on, it still bothered me, and I wasn't able to figure out why. Irony is I live with two guys. It's totally different and I can't explain how. Just that I know there is less than zero percent chance of anything ever happening with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:45 PM
6

Made a post but since I still don't have a flair, it didn't show. Wanted thoughts from others on whether you consider having a female roommate a red flag for a guy? Or at least yellow?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:46 AM
21

FDS is about empowering and advancing women. Calling us a hate sub is the tactic they employ because we're right. You can't argue against a single principle and how it directly improves the lives of women. So they have to resort to slander and misinformation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:40 AM
17

3,6,8 stand out to me. Good men aren't on apps, and those that are, are gone fast. All the men I know who are dateable and taken, did not meet their partners on apps. So why am I on them? It's about sex. Even those who want a relationship, really mean regularly scheduled sex. Male friends have confirmed their primary filter is finding girls who are dtf. Idk what these men think they can get, but looking at the effort they put in? They're all waiting for their insta model with a passion for pre i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:02 PM
18

Thank you for posting this. I like the memes and all, but thoughtful advice is what the sub is really about. I feel like the men who just want a list of things to do, or to be explicitly told what to do, are looking to put in the minimum effort. And whatever we do ask for is subject to their negations and schedule. Ugh. To some degree, women are better at non verbal communication and awareness of others. I don't expect a man to match us on that. But considering they can have fantasy football ale…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:18 PM
26

When a guy tells me he's looking for someone with a high sex drive before we even meet, we don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 09:58 PM
64

It's a sad ploy to portray women as equally unethically non monogamous. Screaming there's a problem that doesn't actually exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:38 PM
-4

Sex positive "feminists" organize a public masturbation day for women in response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:20 PM
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