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mrsafro Archive

View 8 posts and 41 comments by mrsafro on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Starting to possibly realize that
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 03:43 PM
1

No.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:05 PM
1

How to combat that then?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:03 PM
2

I think that may be the problem. But it sucks because I always fantasized about having date / one-night stands like these when I was married. Now I can't
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 04:56 PM
2

If you believe in God, then you will also believe in free will. Then he did not "make" you meet the person you met, you met that person by going about your life through your own choices and free will. There are thousands of compatible partners for each of us.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 11:55 AM
1

Problem is, that was the VERY best part of my marriage. We had a crazy active sex life, for over 17 years
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 08:06 PM
1

I hope we get to that point, but she still hates me for wanting the divorcem
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 06:18 PM
2

I am already in that court battle. And that makes me hate her. But sometimes when she begs me back, afterwards I wonder if I shouldn't just suck it up and that she may try harder and be better.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 04:30 PM
2

I think that I need to talk again with her. Because I also remember some talks quickly reminded me why I left.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 08:44 PM
3

Fuck. Same here. Almost exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 08:16 PM
4

Mine keeps promising to change every single thing I ever said was wrong. But how is that possible for people to change so totally and completely, their whole personality and way of communication? I know it isn't.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 08:16 PM
6

A BIG part of it for me. I miss my boys a LOT and often.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 08:10 PM
1

I get that. But do you really realize what it would have been like if they did? And just seeing one of them only every second weekend, and having them miss so many things in your life?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:15 AM
2

When I still lived there, my ex was exactly like you mention there. Just a roommate, that is another dependent on me, that I also have to tell what to do daily.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 10:10 PM
3

So in essence, would you have left sooner if you knew what you know now? I am trying to decide which regret will be worse. The regret of not demonstrating a healthy relationship to them, and not standing up for myself, or the regret of missing many little moments with them and not being there all the time to influence them daily better than she can?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:52 AM
2

True. But it also is way more intricate than that. You could show your kids that you stick out a tough situation and make the best of it, FOR the benefit of spending time with them and being able to show them your ways and examples of life daily.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:46 AM
3

Do you think it to be true?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:43 AM
2

So, do you think it was worth it staying, sacrificing your happiness and chance at a better relationship, for the time you had all those little moments with your kids? Thanks for sharing this side of it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:42 AM
3

Almost exact position. She begs me to stay, but nothing will ever change. People don't change.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:40 AM
1

She is still in denial so together is not really an option.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 07:47 AM
1

What did you say. Did you say you are getting a divorce? Did the 8yo know what that is? Did you mention why? Looking for pointers.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 07:46 AM
1

Being called names or broken down verbally during a fit of rage is abuse. No matter what you did, and should not be tolerated more than once in a relationship ever. Period!
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 04:22 PM
2

I would have left right there. Have some self-respect. Do not even remotely tolerate that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 04:20 PM
1

😆😆 that would be my worst nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 02:12 PM
1

This VERY much my similar situation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 03:46 PM
1

This really makes me think. I need to search my soul.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:58 PM
3

😆😆😆 i do not know how to respond, so much to process. Post nut clarity. And that makes me super sad if you say the craziest are the best fuck, because then I might want to stay with crazy 😆
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:55 PM
3

Thanks. Something to think about. The good woman part though? What constitutes a good woman? Is great sex, a good house partner and good mother still a good woman, if she occasionally mentally and physically abuses me, manipulates me in conversations, dominates all conversations so we cannot resolve conflict, and is permanently jealous to the paranoid level?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:51 PM
1

By the sound of that. It almost feels like I should just stop the divorce and go back to her. To prevent going through that for so many years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 05:42 PM
0

Do you think it is the sex keeping me in this emotional state of fearing regret and jealousy?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 05:21 PM
1

Sorry to hear that. My stbxw was a bad'ish partner for the most part. But has changed recently after I asked for a divorce and became a great partner. She still isn't and wouldn't ever be my best friend. So I think that is why I struggle with being able to relax knowing I will grow old with her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:25 PM
1

Yes. What I am trying to do now. Enjoying it. Taking my time and taking it easy. Trying to let happen what should happen naturally without extra force or resistance.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:22 PM
2

Please elaborate. What do you regret about it? What do you miss?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 06:02 PM
0

Exactly what I'm trying to figure out now. Especially making it harder is the fact that during separation I met someone else that is great and I feel like I can connect intellectually a lot better. So that is messing up my mind even more.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 05:27 PM
2

Sounds a lot like my stbxw. But now. After filing. Mine is literally going to the ends of the earth to change all her ways and promises me to change in all ways to make it work. She has already put in so much work. I am just worried that if I stay, two years later she becomes complacent and the same again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 04:44 PM
2

Yeah. Cheating is a no turnaround for me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 04:41 PM
2

In what ways did she hold you back?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 04:10 PM
1

So then you do actually regret the divorce and think you could have made it work? Have you remarried or a serious relationship after?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 04:03 PM
1

I know this. I guess this is what makes it so hard for me to just be done with it. I just know that I have always always thought about being with someone else someday or dating around again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 01:41 PM
2

Do you not fear growing old without that conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 11:18 AM
2

I have. Multiple times, with a few different ones. I have a great fear that someday, when beauty fades and sex also, then we are left with nothing but friendship and conversation. Both of which we have never had and she has never felt like my best friend. I fear growing old, and she is the person next to me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 10:11 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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