~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | This is not the flex she thinks she is. When will we grow out of encouraging women to stay with men who hurt them?Your comment nails how I feel about this, too. I've been the friend to console others, be there for them, trying to get them to understand gently that the man they keep getting back to and who repeatedly hurts them isn't the hot shot she thinks of only for them to go right back to him and repeat the cycle. I've also slow faded people like that. If someone comes at me to vent about their personal issues, they might as well pay me therapy market rates. Unless I ever decide to become a paid profess… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 03:35 PM |
| 74 | This is not the flex she thinks she is. When will we grow out of encouraging women to stay with men who hurt them?This is my view on it, too. I just simply didn't find anything in the post to suggest that the OP is doing this. She just pats herself on the back for being the emotionally supportive friend because she won't make her friends feel bad about the shitty exes. I'm not so sure that's healthy. There are situations where you need to be told the habits you're engaging are unhealthy, even if it feels bad for the moment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 06:14 PM |
| 132 | This is not the flex she thinks she is. When will we grow out of encouraging women to stay with men who hurt them?That sounds terrifying and I feel pure horror reading your comment. But, still, you can only do so much for those friends who refuse to acknowledge how dangerous abusive LVMs are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 05:17 PM |
| 37 | This is not the flex she thinks she is. When will we grow out of encouraging women to stay with men who hurt them?You are so right. I'm still thinking about how the OP of this post flaunts this as an example of being "a good friend". A good friend doesn't enable you to go back to your bad ex all over. It's obviously just as bad on the other end, where the pickme needs a therapist (I see it as just someone who won't challenge them to think about their decisions). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 05:14 PM |
| 29 | S/ she requires no conversation🥰 no effort❤️🔥I get to game while having a girlfriend who reads instead of having a relationship w her😽Same hat in regards to reading and writing. I have a degree in literature, so, obviously writing and reading are some of my primary hobbies. By no means whatsoever does this imply I would accept low next to zero effort from my partner. I think this post reeks of him being in love (not loving) the "nerdy girl" stereotyping, which he's projecting onto her. There is no way that can lead to a genuine relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 08:40 AM |
| 23 | Men who lament they “never fought” with exesYou're welcome! Ex comparisons are a low blow and unacceptable. Any man who brings the ex into a discussion involving your relationship with him is not worth your time. If he isn't mature enough to move on from the ex, he isn't mature enough to be with you. In this case, he was just playing the ex card to make you back down because he doesn't want to be called out. Sadly, a lot of women fall for this because we're socialized to play cool girl to make him happy. F that noise! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 07:05 AM |
| 61 | Men who lament they “never fought” with exesThat's code for "You have to submit to me, never challenge me, never hold me accountable." If he never had an argument with the ex (highly unlikely), that's probably because the ex was the kind of woman who had issues setting boundaries with him and sticking to them. This way, he basically got a free pass to walk all over her and disrespect her. All of this signals you're in for a potential abuser who will make sure to always "put you in your place" whenever you raise a completely valid issue. A… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 06:41 AM |
| 111 | At least the effort was acknowledged right? Too bad not co author.Anyone else noticed that he used "served" in that acknowledgement? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 09:58 AM |
| 7 | Cry me a riverWith all the resources available in this day and age, there are no excuses. You can search video tutorials for literally everything. I've learned to make a lot of tasty recipes by just clicking a page on internet blogs and following the instructions. If he knows how to put together a piece of equipment from scratch, he can learn how to cook, he just doesn't want to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 09:40 AM |
| 38 | It's no wonder that men are as dysfunctional as they are... this is from a men's therapist's site...Problematic men like this intentionally make efforts to be hired as doctors or therapists because they crave a power trip. They don't pursue this occupation out of a willingness to help others, but to gain a position of authority over naive, helpless people. Since, afaik, statistically women are more likely to seek out therapy than men, then, for these deranged dudes it's a total win. This is why I will never trust a man to be my therapist or doctor. My therapist is a woman, same as my doctor. E… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 09:00 AM |
| 186 | Old but gold"emotionally wounded community penis" is where he had me 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 09:27 AM |
| 72 | 🙄🙄🙄 I just want to say I never like this excuse for a manTHANK YOU! Being a stoic is definitely not about being out of touch with yourself. It's about a very different sort of resilience, not about making yourself seem emotionless. ETA: Whenever I see the word "stoic" in the wrong context, I remember that line in Princess Bride, "You keep using that word, but I don't think it means what you think it means." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 09:42 AM |
| 11 | Tell us about what it's like to be a woman in your countryI have not seen Romania in the comments, so I want to add my own two cents: 1. Your overall assessment of how women are treated in your country compared to men. As your standard Eastern European country, mine is not an exception to the poor treatment of women. Men aren't as talked over as women are. Men aren't told they don't know what they're doing when they establish career-oriented life goals. Sure, some may get the "Why don't you find a nice girl and settle down?" song from some of their old… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 02:09 PM |
| 23 | Stop internalizing men’s cruelty/inability to treat you wellTo be happy with someone else you should first be happy with yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 12:33 PM |
| 9 | "No one likes a know-it-all" and other stupid things LV's say. Comment your own!GOD!!!! THE LONG TIME TO TALK!!! Just recently some guy I totally forgot about has reached out to me using these exact same words. Mind you, it's been over like three or four years. Three or four years when he hasn't even been bothered to remember I exist, suddenly uses that line on me. Insta ignore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 08:39 AM |
| 8 | It’s pathetic that this level of scrotery is so normalizedFellow Eastern European here and can confirm, but, sadly our culture isn't helping, either. At least in my country, girls are taught and socialized very early in their life in the way of the pickme. I notice this as I'm surrounded by children and just recently I had to babysit a 4 years old girl and noticed how she helped me with little things as I was doing household chores, whereas I don't see a lot of little boys doing that. While it was sweet that she helped, I couldn't have helped but to wo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 10:27 AM |
| 17 | Setting Mental Boundaries - Part 1I love this post! Thorough, informative, and it put a smile on my face, too. I loved the use of emojis and I'm always interested in reading about how we're not actually that far removed from our pre-historical ancestors. Looking forward to reading Part 2 of this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 09:42 AM |
| 6 | I want to thank this subreddit for helping me find my self-respectYou did great, OP! It takes a lot to level up and it's so good to see your work pay off. A kind word of advice for next time: don't tell them you don't want X or Y thing. They know, they simply don't care. It's a waste of precious time and energy to tell them what you're not into. Simply walk out on them, then proceed to block and delete. Wasting mental energy on explaining your standards isn't healthy. It took me a while to learn this lesson. But, since I've started applying it to all kinds of … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 09:33 AM |
| 6 | The guy is 55!!! 🤢I am saving this post as an eternal reminder that marriage is, in truth, a scam. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 08:51 AM |
| 12 | The Four Tolkien LVM and What We Can Learn from Them: Part 2Read The Silmarillion around four times (I incorporated Tolkien in my bachelor thesis), and it took me literal years to understand why that dynamic between Eol and Aredhel was so wrong. Eol is your standard creeper and abuser who actively stalked her while she was lost in the woods, wove some spells to trap her physically, welcomed her in her home as a guest, acted all nice and such before his mask slipped off. While I was so happy Aredhel took her boy and finally escaped, I sincerely do dislike… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/21 08:51 AM |
| 3 | To the young ladies, do NOT fall into this trap, I’m begging you!Off topic, but your username is amazing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/21 07:56 AM |
| 25 | Husband eats all of the food in the house leaving his wife and children hungry. Gets mad at wife for not giving him more food when she replaces what he ate that night.My jaw dropped reading this. When you think you've seen everything in terms of how disrespectful some men can be, you come to FDS, read posts and comments like this and you realise we're barely scratching the surface. Glad he's an ex! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 09:34 AM |
| 90 | Stop normalizing men’s immaturityWomen are considered more mature only when it comes to sexualizing them, but not when it comes to leadership. This is what I have been saying a lot, including in real life, to the faces of all the men too busy to throw mantrums in front of me whenever any discussion involving women's issues happens. They're more than happy to look at literal teenagers or children and tell these children and teenagers that they're so mature for their age. Even in news outlets, it's always "young woman" or "undera… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 10:54 AM |
| 202 | I'll just leave this here.I'm so glad I'm not the only one noticing this! Women in media who are confident, whose opinions differ from the norm, who have clearly defined personalities are often, in my experience, written off as villains or antagonists. Meanwhile, the humble, not sure of herself and her own perceptions, co-dependent woman who exists usually to further develop a man character is often put on the side of the good guys. I see it as yet another way of spreading the message that not being your own person is ho… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/21 08:45 AM |
| 10 | Don’t be meI know this is hard, but try not to beat yourself up too much for this. Your gut / intuition is there telling you "No!", mostly through that emptiness you felt, but, part of you probably wanted to rationalize, to give a second chance because, at the end of the day, that's what women are taught to do even since we begin to articulate our first words. Naturally, this becomes habit over time and habit is tough to break. All I can say is, I feel like maybe focusing on your new prospects is what's be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/21 09:03 AM |
| 14 | He says he is all for “enthusiastic consent” but his whole post is putting women down for not wanting to have sex and being upset when their partners turn to porn.I saved this comment because you speak nothing but facts right here! Isn't one of the FDS mantras, If he wanted to, he would? It's so true! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/21 02:30 PM |
| 18 | We 👏 Don’t 👏 Chase 👏I hate "I'm horny." SO MUCH. Why should I care, sir? It's not like you're going to respect me if I accept to be the 2am booty call girl. LVM come in hot with the blatant disrespect and, then, get mad when they don't get what they want. Maybe work on yourself, learn how to create genuine human connection with a partner, learn some empathy, basic social etiquette, learn how to be a competent lover and who knows? Maybe you'll have a better chance. Until then? Bye bye 🥱🥱🥱 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 07:59 AM |
| 17 | In my worst Pickmeisha days, I was so proud of being low-maintenance 🤦🤦🤦I'm in that post and I don't like it. Now I acknowledge this was a result of me having been raised in a toxic parent home environment, which messed up with my head so much and I concluded that, wow, I HAVE to be used to people tearing me down, degrading me, telling me that whatever I'd create as artist wasn't worth it, because duh that was my normal pattern. Now I'm the complete opposite. The first sign of disrespect is where I leave. No one deserves any less than the barest minimum in any dynam… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 07:53 AM |
| 15 | 15 years of dating, 2 kids... and she’s worried about holding *him* up?This is why you can't be stuck in a forever gf situation. He either gets it together and shows real commitment by marrying you first, or it's thank u next. I feel so sorry for this woman, but, at the same time, I couldn't imagine wasting 15 years of my life with a person who can't be clear about committing to me entirely. I'm assuming she thought kids would get him to change and he showed no effort throughout their entire relationship, maybe just the occasional burst of effort to keep her strung… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 07:47 AM |
| 14 | How media narratives groom women into being pickmesI want to highjack this comment to say that a lot of this just sounds like entitled babies, not well-rounded, grown people. "women are just so intimidating these days. Every single picture is them climbing a mountain, getting a promotion at work, and just being generally high achieving. It's hard for someone like me to approach someone like that" Lol iNtImIdAtIng. I got promoted recently at work, too, and to a senior position in my company. I've worked for years to get here. My boyfriend didn't … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/21 09:19 AM |
| 5 | Scene From HBO's Chernobyl MiniseriesPerson from ex-communist Eastern European Country. I want to say that this show is actually so real in many aspects. People didn't ascend to positions of power where I'm from based on merit or competence. They ended up in positions of power due to money, connections, family members already in other positions of power etc. This practice lasts including to these days. While I can see the misogyny in this scene, I also want to say corruption runs on many levels. It doesn't matter what you know in t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/21 11:04 AM |
| 2 | He was my best friend for over a decade until I realized four years ago that he had been sexual abusing and manipulating me for years. He texted me this out of the blue from a new number after blocking him on everything. Thank you to FDS for giving me the strength and courage to not respond.I honestly couldn't bring myself to read the entire thing because it brings back so many flashbacks for me. Besides, I already lost count of the usage of "I" and "me". This isn't an apology in the slightest. It's just him wanting access to you. I'm glad you're not giving in! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/21 12:15 PM |
| 3 | Not all kinfolk are skinfolkI've been dwelling on this a lot as well recently. I love how the universe heard me and now this post is here. I feel compassion for PickMes as well in general because I've been one myself. I ticked a lot of boxes on a potential toxic PickMe trait list. Today, I'm not proud of that because I realize the damage that attitude does to other women especially. Trying to silence your fellow sisters, trying to discredit them or even defend LVM is drowning out their voices. LVM also don't respect women … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/21 11:29 AM |
| 30 | Using movies to screen?I said it before, and I will say it again: The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/21 10:58 AM |
| 29 | My ex did one thing right--he led me to FDS.I always thought it was my fault, that's what the men told me. I approached them wrong, wrong time, wrong voice, wrong emotions, wrong words, wrong wrong wrong. They would pick me apart, say I didn't understand, that they had "good intentions" and I was taking it poorly. The few times they have acknowledged they hurt me, it is only because someone hurt them in a similar way, and they can finally conceptualize those emotions. It's not that they care I how felt, but they know I understand and I ca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 10:25 AM |
| 1 | Is anyone feeling particularly sad for their pick-me mom after finding this subreddit?I have mixed feelings about mine. I understand where she's coming from and why some decisions she's made have been influenced by a deeply ingrained ideology set up to benefit men. On the other hand, at some point, she knew both my sister and I were miserable to the point of depression. She knew our sperm donor's abusive behavior hurt us. She was on the verge of divorce. What did she do? Chose him over us, her own two daughters. I told her right then that it would all go back to the way it had be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 07:41 AM |
| 10 | A guy walked into my apartment & I realize to exist as a woman is to be constantly reminded of my own vulnerabilityI was assaulted at 14. Cried out for help. I remember a man at some distance (still close enough to discern what was happening) turn his head. I looked up to him in a blind hope he'd see me and he'd come to help me. After all, are we not told that men are protectors? Are we not sold the narrative that men are chivalrous, honorable, trustworthy? What happened isn't hard to predict. That person whom I looked up to for help didn't move a finger. It didn't seem to matter to him that a stranger was r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/21 07:19 AM |
| 28 | One for the ages (2 parts).The car, the woman, the job...it's all just a means to look good to other men. All of this sounds so subtly homoerotic to me, honestly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/21 08:49 AM |
| 3 | I don’t want the men I used to want anymoreTo be honest, once you implement FDS, there's no going back. It's an entire eye-opening way of living, not simply just dating, as I've seen pointed out in a different threads these days. You're doing amazing, OP! If a potential partner does not bring anything of value to the table, then, he's not worth your time. I am rooting for you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/21 12:05 PM |
| 3 | HVM will be CONFUSED when you thank them for their basic decencyThis post honestly resonates with me on so many deep levels. For me, the problem is money because a lot of tensions between my father and mother have risen from money. As a result, I do everything I can to cover my expenses and ask for money from no one. I have my accounts separate. I am slowly learning finance and budgeting to make sure I spend my money very carefully. Whenever the topic of money is brought up, my man keeps reassuring me that money isn't an issue for him. I know he is well-inte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/21 11:59 AM |
| 26 | I'm relapsing into pickmedom.This man is, in my eyes at least, the very walking definition of what we call NVM/LVM. Let's examine this for a moment: Never put effort into meeting your friends. He clearly had no genuine interest in you. You also mention he didn't put effort in dates. The next time you notice a man does this, it's strike one, a strike too much. You take your phone, block, delete conversations and any proof you've ever known him at all. This way, you'll prevent yourself from going back time and time again tryi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 11:47 AM |
| 2 | Stills from a scene in the 1998 music video for Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution”. Disturbingly prophetic.Thank you for your support! I have been thankfully away from my abusive home environment for well over nearly 3 years now, have gotten myself through therapy, have read plenty of books and done my fair share of healing. It's only that these particular images have been way too real for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 10:14 AM |
| 3 | Stills from a scene in the 1998 music video for Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution”. Disturbingly prophetic.I am fully aware you meant no harm, only to showcase a disturbing reality we all need to pay attention to. It was just that, for me at least, it was very triggering and hit too close to home to my own personal experiences. There are no hard feelings on my part. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 10:13 AM |
| 9 | Man "pwns" woman who asks what men have to offer by showing her his neckbeard nest and "brown cuddling pillow" LMAOOI literally said "Bitch, what?!" aloud when he got to that part. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/21 09:32 AM |
| 49 | Stills from a scene in the 1998 music video for Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution”. Disturbingly prophetic.I'd put a trigger warning on this because the scene with the girl crying and the scrote wielding a belt is too real for some of us. I was beaten with a belt by my sperm donor as a child. Please, please, please put a trigger warning on explicitly abusive content. Otherwise than that, the video is absolutely spot on and most definitely raises a very concerning point, one we should all pay attention to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/21 08:48 AM |
| 133 | Why cOmMuNiCaTe simply doesn't work. Extras is from "Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward and Joan TorresI swear you can always count on creepy men to turn a perfectly decent conversation to this absolutely uncalled for direction and, then, they have the audacity to try and gaslight you when you point out their comments are gross and unnecessary. I am glad you blocked and deleted his creepy ass without a second thought. That sort of behaviour is most definitely not acceptable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 02:45 PM |
| 63 | Why cOmMuNiCaTe simply doesn't work. Extras is from "Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward and Joan TorresAll of my exes are basically summed up by your comment. I've tried this approach. The only result I've had was more frustration on my part, while they appeared completely unaffected by the situation. After I moved on from them, I have come to realise that a relationship should not mean extensive mental gymnastics or countless, fruitless attempts at communication with a person who lives in their own echo chamber. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 02:03 PM |
| 89 | Why cOmMuNiCaTe simply doesn't work. Extras is from "Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward and Joan TorresI think both these books should go hand in hand. I've read "Why does he do that?" and, now, I am in a current re-read of the work mentioned in the post title. I have personally gained valuable insight from both of them. And, sadly, you are so right. If he doesn't want to change his ways, he simply will not, regardless of how much you try and reach out to him. He doesn't want the relationship to happen on equal terms, he wants his terms and that's how it is. The only correct form of communication… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 01:56 PM |
| 188 | Why cOmMuNiCaTe simply doesn't work. Extras is from "Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward and Joan TorresThe only correct answer for that kind of situation is "make an escape plan and leave the rapist", but, obviously, people in other subs are so busy trying to brainwash women further. Her "No" was a full sentence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 01:40 PM |
| 117 | Why cOmMuNiCaTe simply doesn't work. Extras is from "Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward and Joan TorresHe obviously didn't respect you enough to at least want to have a conversation with you or listen. I am so happy to hear he's an ex now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 01:37 PM |
| 423 | Why cOmMuNiCaTe simply doesn't work. Extras is from "Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward and Joan TorresIn all honesty, I've noticed that communicating these days is basically us having to teach men how to treat us with very basic decency: don't look at nude pictures of other girls while in a relationship with me, don't interrupt me while I'm speaking to you, respect me and my opinions, don't treat me like a sexual object etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/21 11:28 AM |
| 13 | Former SWer looking for input, advice, wisdom, etc. from FDS on how to move on with my life & heal.I do not share in your experience entirely, neither do I claim to, but I have fallen into the nudes trap in the past. Now, it's an obvious "never again" and, similarly to you, I've never exactly felt a sense of connection to myself. I have, however, taken most of the steps you're taking now in my journey: I've sought out a therapist. I am happy you're doing the same! Therapy can be of tremendous help in understanding the core of what's happened to you and help you navigate through it, ideally eq… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/21 09:54 AM |
| 3 | FDS + Vetting -> matrix-like bullet dodgingOkay but that "Unlike our troops, I can dodge a bullet" part had me legit laughing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 03:33 PM |
| 8 | She is extremely informative about red, yellow, and green flags. A must watch.Omg wait she's Romanian!!!!!! I am so proud haha! But my conational pride aside, I honestly love her content. She's always so insightful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 11:32 AM |
| 7 | "Jokes"Of course a predator would sooner think of her as an "adult" (spoiler alert: she ISN'T an adult), rather than think of himself as a predator. I did grow up in a messed up, abusive environment, but I never had sexual jokes pointed at me. I honestly don't even know why this woman is questioning it. He's a predator. Period. She and her daughter need to get away from this depraved asshole as soon as possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/21 12:59 PM |
| 27 | Not enough boobs!!!!! /sThey did so for Birds of Prey as well. I enjoyed both Captain Marvel and Birds of Prey. Imagine being so fragile you get pressed over a fictional person. Could never be me. 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/21 01:06 PM |
| 61 | Not enough boobs!!!!! /sI've noticed this trend as well. Whenever there's a woman in the leading role, it's either "man-hating" movie or held to unreal standards, as compared to movies with a man in the leading role. The fact alone that they have to throw such massive hissy fits about fictional women tells me they're just sexists not worth my time. This is one of my criteria: if he can't be objective with fictional women, if he can't respect them, then, he clearly doesn't respect women in general, myself included. I've… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/21 10:15 AM |
| 20 | The Transcendent Nature of Women"Women are Gods." is my favourite part of this post. One of the most empowering realisation I have ever had has been similar to this one. I do not need to feel guilty for putting myself first and rejecting a man's desire to pass on his genes through me. Like, sir, most of the time, everything your gender has to leave behind is the audacity. I'd much rather spend my time educating myself, becoming a stronger voice for women everywhere, actively working to make our lives better. One of the most pr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/21 10:05 AM |
| 5 | I blocked him after I broke up with him. 5 months LDR never met. I thought I got the message from one of his friends so I was planning on telling them to tell him to stop. But he actually just used an app to get through to me. After 3 letters through the mail. No = Try Harder?Men: We are the rational gender! Also men when met with rejection / break up / separation: Totally pull out all the creepy stunts they can think of just to get in contact with you. I've had one do this thing for years on end after I broke up with him. Years. On. End. And he had a new girlfriend, too! I'm glad that, back then, I had this instinct of leaving a firm "There's nothing for us to talk about.", then, proceeded to block him absolutely every single time when he ever tried that shit again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 11:54 AM |
| 3 | A question to FDS members: why do you think there are women who are against FDS?Because it's uncomfortable. I'll admit that I wasn't sure I was going to vibe with the content here at first. Then, I took a closer look, and, in time, FDS has helped me name instances of abuse, grooming, manipulation, and other hurtful things I've suffered at the hands of men. It's been difficult to process all of it, but all the more worth it in the end because now I know I could never settle for less than I deserve. But, then, the journey to becoming that independent HVW who does not need a m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/21 03:05 PM |
| 12 | A household with a LVM father and a pickme mother is a terrible environment to raise children. So many people have unresolved childhood trauma from being raised in this dynamic.This post is a very accurate description of the environment I grew up in. It's been a whole Hell to live in, and I've been highly wary of marriage or motherhood for this very reason. I didn't want to end up repeating the cycle. Thankfully, I now know where to place the problem and the accountability, and I know I could do better if I ever am to have a family of my own. However, this doesn't erase the years of abuse I've been through thus far, which could have been avoided had my circumstances be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/21 12:53 PM |
| 1 | I feel so bad for her... his penis is more important than her boundaries.That's not her husband. That's her rapist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/21 11:00 AM |
| 20 | Reasons why your exes shouldn't feel like losses to you: (for pickmeisha survivors going on thriving)Most of my exes are in this post. They didn't care. They either wanted to use me for sex, or just to try and control me. Not that they succeeded, but, it's still terrifying to think about how I was groomed, brought to trust a man only for him to show his real face once the first disagreement would come up. I am happy to say I'm in a better place. Even so, I still wish I had better, firmer guidance and FDS-minded women in my life. I do my best to be this presence for my baby cousins or other youn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/20 10:42 AM |
| 10 | Absolutely Speechless- Scrotes doesn’t get GF an Xmas present but gives £1000 to his OnlyFans lady. GF doesn’t dump him.Women need to stop enabling this behavior and society needs to stop brainwashing us into accepting depraved habits such as this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/20 02:36 PM |
| 2 | THIS VIDEO IS A SIGN.Videos like this make me want to start my own TikTok and spread this sort of messages. Love her energy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/20 01:52 PM |
| 2 | In the spirit of the holidays... What is the most OTT gift you gave to a man who absolutely did not deserve it?Does "time of my life" count? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/20 11:12 AM |
| 5 | Kicking MyselfIf it's of any comfort, I'm 24 and have been through terrible relationships myself. Following therapy, I graduated, found a job, moved in a rented apartment and was ready to move on to the next stage of my life, but little did I know how much was there to unpack until I found FDS. For well over a year, I've been taking steps to ensure my personal growth first and foremost, which is what FDS advocates: focus on yourself, level up, learn and vet, vet, vet. As others have said, there's no need to b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 11:30 AM |
| 3 | Not funny in any way, shape or form.My first thought reading this was, "This is abuse." Sis is in for a terrible life ahead if she stays with this man. Just look at the pattern: she has had a painful event, he genuinely knows this. He then proceeds to "joke" about it, she is rightfully fearful and he immediately pulls out the gaslighting card of "omg you can't take a joke". Note she's also 6 months pregnant, therefore incredibly vulnerable. With each passing day, every shred of faith I have ever had for the men of Earth begins to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 10:54 AM |
| 23 | Thankfully all the comments said he was in fact the a**holeThe dad's roast had me laughing! 😂 😂 😂 It's simply fire! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 09:48 AM |
| 8 | Ew. Nah sisWe need a "Sis, get some self-respect." automatic response whenever women post this stuff online. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 10:54 AM |
| 1 | Age gap and forcing his religion on her 🤢 of course nobody in the comments asks why she’s dating a man ELEVEN years older 🤮> "healthy relationship" > "told me he would need to marry me before we have any sexual relations and I must convert" Pick one, sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 02:27 PM |
| 1 | I understand she's happy but damn, what kind of loser husband does she have who doesn't care whether she climaxes or not?? As long as he gets his, all is well 🤬My reaction reading this. I honestly can't even at this point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 02:02 PM |
| 4 | Have any of you ever left a serious relationship because the man lacked ambition?I'm gonna say this: men have no idea how hard motherhood is. Period. Whenever I tried, in the past, to counter-argue their points, they eventually end up saying, "Yes, but a kid wouldn't be THAT bad, right?" Like stfu Brad. You don't know the next thing about pregnancy and its risks (like, hello! Women are prone to dying due to this stuff.), not to mention the toll it takes on us, women, from mental health to physical health + the additional efforts going to raising the kids. It's so easy for me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 04:42 PM |
| 26 | they don't even hide it (a collection)Male logic is alien logic to me: beyond comprehension and non-existent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 12:35 PM |
| 131 | they don't even hide it (a collection)So, let me see if I get this straight: men advising each other to string women along (especially vulnerable and naive ones) is absolutely okay and those who do it multiple times are "born into success", but, the MOMENT women teach other women to be wary of these men, not reward their behaviour by giving them attention, suddenly it's a hate crime? Additionally, if women were to pull out the same stunts, we all know how they'd be labeled. You may think male hypocrisy and entitlement can't get any … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 08:54 AM |
| 1 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youIf you look at Tolkien's works strictly for the symbolism of the stories, it can work. In a way, it's refreshing to see faith and light still shining through in a world marred by tragedy and war. There is also the Lay of Leithian, or the story of Beren and Luthien, which, as a symbol, is a beautifully crafted piece as it speaks of defying one's mortal condition in this world. The character Luthien is also Tolkien immortalizing his wife, which makes me appreciate the story even more. The movies, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/20 06:33 AM |
| 4 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youYes, it was. Cahir stripped a 10-11 years old Ciri down by a river to clean her up. There's a whole paragraph going in fairly graphic detail about that in the books. I felt sick to my stomach reading that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 09:23 AM |
| 4 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youYou raise good points there! Obviously, women in writing aren't entirely guiltless, either. I referenced these two works in particular because they're highly popular and almost everyone and their cousin has, by this point, at least heard of them. I stopped watching Outlander a long time ago. I liked it in the beginning when it was a pretty interesting time travel story, but, once it got to being too edgy just for shock value, I decided it wasn't my thing anymore. I think it's a mindset issue ste… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 09:17 AM |
| 5 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youI am very 50/50 on the show, honestly. On one hand, I'm glad they toned down using sexual assault as a romantic plot device, I'm glad they're trying to write the women better, but, I'll never get to hyping the Witcher up ever again, at least not until I see some real improvements. I have a beef with the showrunner as well because of how she treats the whole Ciri and Cahir thing and tries to backflip it and justify it. We're talking grown man and actual child dynamic here. Cue then Lauren tweetin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 09:12 AM |
| 5 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youAnime is another wild card altogether. I tried to watch it in the past and, for the life of me, I can't stand how women are written there generally. It's either the unrealistic childish uwu trope you mention, or the sexist trope that if she's not someone who fits in the uwu category, then, she has to be villainous one way or another. Anime is yet just another example that, all around the world, there is a widespread ideology that women aren't people. Pay attention to the depth they give to their… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 07:39 AM |
| 20 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youSansa is another queen to whom my heart goes! She honestly endures so much it's unreal. Even though I have a lot of beef with the show, in a way, it's satisfying she ended up Queen in the North. Problematic men and women alike will always, always hate on women in fiction, especially the powerful ones or those who ascend to positions of power. Imagine feeling so insecure over a person who isn't real. That, to me, says a lot about the person you're dealing with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 07:01 AM |
| 3 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youYour addition is most definitely noteworthy as well! Come to think about it, one of my exes had this thing for submissive lambs trope female characters. I once even confronted him about it and he openly admitted that, indeed, he'd like for me to be as submissive as those characters and let him do whatever to me. We broke up eventually because he was way too pressuring about sex. He even called me a fake bitch over refusing sex, so, you know, just like you said: he had positive things to say abou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 06:45 AM |
| 13 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youThey are so pressed about rEaLiSm in a world that has dragons, magic, a woman giving birth to a literal shadow demon it's honestly sketchy to me. I think a writer can build the atmosphere of the setting without insisting so much on sexual violence against women and, yet, it is a device that gets overly used in both the works I mentioned. I need to ask: why? Why is the excessive use of sexual violence against women justified in a fantasy story? We need to look at the deeper aspects of these ideas… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 05:56 AM |
| 10 | The way he talks about fictional women will be the way he talks about youIt highly depends on the medium. For me, the books have been unbearable, especially where the women are concerned. I live in Eastern Europe, so I know what and how an older man thinks of women and I can't help but to see a lot of disgusting ideas reflected in the Witcher books. Sadly, my thesis is in Romanian and I haven't translated it yet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 05:41 AM |
| 11 | Please, share your HVM stories/ relationshipsSo, quite recently, I was sick with an ear infection. The bitch hurt like hell. Here's what my boyfriend did and, no, I did NOT have to direct him because I'm not his mom: - Told me we are going to the doctor. Yes, "we". Not "you". - Called the doctor and scheduled me an appointment on the very Monday after the week-end the infection settled in. - Told his supervisor at work he's NOT attending their online meeting because he has to take me to the doctor. When he was able to reach again, the supe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 08:22 AM |
| 58 | Men KNOW they aren’t treating you well and are bottom of the barrel LV but will PRAISE you for sticking with them through their BS — a LVM will calculate your worth over how much shit he can put you through and still have you stick by him 🤮Ride or die, to me at least, means that you're not willing to put up with cheating, abuse, arguing, being degraded like this. Ride or die for me means being able to overcome life's challenges together as a whole, healthy couple. Not to mention that these kind of women aren't respected. My mother is a "ride or die" type of woman where she endured abuse and disrespect for 25 years from my father. Quite recently, they even held a celebration for their long-lasting, "strong" marriage. Like that's pe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/20 07:04 AM |
| 31 | Girls please never chase men! As if the post isn't embarassing enough, a guy commented just to make fun of her...What gets to me is that she is aware he isn't even that great, therefore, not worth the trouble, but, her brain chemistry is all messed up. It's so easy to confuse that addiction to the sex with feelings. I wish this wasn't similar to a case I've known myself, where a brilliant, wonderful, and absolutely gorgeous woman wasted away so much of her time and emotional and spiritual energy on a man who simply treated her like the 2 am booty call girl, whereas she kept hoping they'd end up in a real r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/20 06:54 AM |
| 3 | Oh Holy HellThere has been an update. Apparently, they broke up. Yasss, Queen! I am so happy for her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/20 02:17 PM |
| 4 | PickMe Friends Are Poison... Eventhough You Love Them So Much! Cut The Ties For Your Own GoodI've had to learn this the very hard way, sadly in the dynamic between myself, my mother, and my father. As much as I have compassion for my mother from a victim of my father's abuse standpoint, I do not share the same view when it comes to the fact both my sister and I have brought to her attention how much our father's actions hurt us and she did nothing. When you choose your NVM husband over your own children, it's a hard Game over from me. I think surrounding ourselves with HVW is also essen… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/20 02:59 PM |
| 5 | PickMe Friends Are Poison... Eventhough You Love Them So Much! Cut The Ties For Your Own GoodI have had my own share of encounters with incurable pick mes, some who even think that being a couple okay with porn is absolutely normal and woke, that literally having a manchild whose laundry YOU have to do is so funny, that being like that servant girl who keeps the beers cold for him and his boys is such a wifey great thing to do and so on. In all and any instances when relationships come up, I'm very vocal about my stance: I have separate savings accounts my man will never touch. I am map… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/20 02:24 PM |
| 3 | No God sent me, and fixing is for therapists!As if women and girls existed for the sole purpose of "healing" men. Lmao bye! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/20 01:25 PM |
| 56 | And That Was The Moment I Knew. Thank you FDS! I wish I had found this community sooner but at least I’m here now. What are your top tips for making yourself feel better post-break up?Finally the comment I was looking for! I hate sounding insensitive, but, sister, please spare yourself the heartbreak. Delete the convo, block him, and move on! This way, you have a safe way to make sure you don't go back and overanalyze everything only to hurt yourself again. Women are always conditioned to look inside themselves, to wonder, to question where we did wrong when, sometimes, the brutal truth is, he just ain't worth your energy and you shouldn't be wasting more time on him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/20 02:54 PM |
| 7 | r/sex told an ABUSE SURVIVOR not to be scared of someone who wants to STRANGLE and HIT her 🤡🤡🤡I am fucking fuming, please excuse my language. What sort of sick depraved fuck of a man is this? The fact alone she has to come to the internet to ask how to overcome her genuine fear of him, her confusion, her pain, and there are stupid ignorants like that commenter veiling abuse as kink makes me sick. I hope I never have a son because, honestly, I don't know what I would do if he turned out like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/20 10:59 AM |
| 13 | Women are restricted in self expression. Wdyt?Romanian here. Do not live under the illusion that only certain parts of the world have misoginy so deep into their culture. Here, women are also supposed to be sweet uwu and compliant uwu and submissive and whatever. I, however, am a whole Goddess of Chaos. If my partner can't deal with the fact I am my own person, he can fuck right off into the Void for all I care. Women get talked over so much it's unreal, not to mention the whole narrative and stupid jokes that women are so weak and not smar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 08:38 AM |
| 89 | Hard to choose just one flair for this NVM...I am sort of a nerd myself and whatnot, but holy Gods! What did I just read? Basically, this boy has been wanking it so hard at hentai he can no longer function like a normal person. The hentai porn totally has gotten his brain to rot, and SHE is the one worried about hurting his feelings? Not to mention that she's meek, afraid of confronting him and so on. I smell the exploitative side of this so hard it just stinks. He KNOWS this and he only treats her well because he KNOWS he will get her to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 08:26 AM |
| 9 | Upon learning that a close friend of mine had died, I get this dm from a scroteBlock and delete, sis. This dude has the emotional intelligence of a brick and clearly has no idea how to read the room. IMAGINE knowing someone is going through a difficult time and using this difficult time as an opportunity to get your peepee wet. Disgusting! On a final note, I send you my warmest condolences, sis! Hope you know we're all here for you <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 07:47 AM |
| 29 | Why don't LVM/NVM just choose pickmes and leave us tf alone?Because they don't respect pickmes. Pretty much every single dating advice book I read said the same thing. Men don't respect women who don't have boundaries and self-esteem. Yes, they WILL stick around for the sex, then ghost. Sometimes, they'll even marry the pickme because they're comfortable with her. He doesn't have to do anything at all to get food, a clean house, his laundry done, and so on. Deep down, even the lowest of the low know one single truth: they LOVE chasing women who are well … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 07:44 AM |
| 6 | Just began reading Women Who Love Too Much!I recommend this, and also "Adult children of emotionally immature parents!". The emotional immaturity traits as presented in that book have been such an eye-opener for me. I long stopped questioning WHY people what they do, especially those who cannot manifest empathy. Good luck on your journey, though! Sending you healing vibes, sis! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 07:34 AM |
| 36 | The future daughters of FDS!This gave me big queen energy, and I love it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 07:26 AM |
| 53 | My best friend changed when I told him I’m not interestedThis seems to me a classic scenario of male friend who simply has used this niceness as a way to get your guard down and eventually get sexual benefits from you. If I remember correctly, there's a section in the FDS handbook that covers "male friendship". I had one such dude myself. Seemed nice and all that, suddenly got very pushy and made clear advances on me while being in a relationship himself and knowing I was in a relationship, too. I ghosted him, no regrets here. Friends respect your bou… | /r/askFDS | 26/09/20 11:17 AM |
| 11 | To those who still believe their LVM was/is right.The amount of times I have had to argue that pathological insanity and actual mental issues are not one and the same is unreal, so I really felt that emotionally sensitive =/= crazy part. Men and even women, will actively gaslight you as if it's some gaslighting fest going on somewhere and they're so eager to get in it. LV people are so insecure they'll literally do ANYTHING to tear you down because God forbid they actually take a look inside themselves. You are not to blame for their own shortc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 10:58 AM |
| 9 | Men hating astrology and tarot, ect.I am a practitioner of witchcraft, focusing specifically on the healing side, personal growth and empowerment. I have chosen two angels as my spiritual guides and, whenever I initiate rituals that surround them, I use those rituals as a moment of meditation. What areas of life I have improved, where I can do better, focusing on specific events or people who have had a negative impact on me and how I want to overcome that impact and heal. I always make a note to thank my spiritual guides for thei… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 10:47 AM |
| 9 | Notice how he’s always gaming. Let’s pray for her.My God, you're absolutely right! What's even sadder is that apparent enthusiasm on her face while she's basically wasting her time and energy on this sort of NVM. It's just beyond me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 09:31 AM |
| 7 | Reminder : consistency is a HV traitIt's honestly amazing you're working on it! I think we all are, one way or another. Consistency is a continously practiced effort, an effort that pays off in the long run. Naturally, when you grow consistently you'll notice your standards raising, too. Best of luck on your journey, sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 11:25 AM |
| 4 | Reminder : consistency is a HV traitPeople who do that are not worth your time and energy. It's a small step to take, but a big one in the long run as you practice not wasting energy and time on people like this. Best wishes to you, queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 11:22 AM |
| 4 | Reminder : consistency is a HV traitIt's always a pleasure to contribute to the FDS community! I am sorry to hear you are hurting. Sending love and healing energies your way! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 11:21 AM |
| 97 | Notice how he’s always gaming. Let’s pray for her.I kid you not, MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED!!! I find it incredibly sad just how far these women are willing to go for a fantasy relationship. Fantasy because the relationship is all in HER head, not even a real deal. If you dig even deeper down, I bet my money this dude doesn't even respect her. He stays with her because it's comfortable, while most likely entertaining some side pieces, too. Being a pick me is a whole poison for your life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 06:51 AM |
| 7 | If he wants a casual date, then you should casually drop him ❤️A fellow Eastern European queen I can look up to! Love her vibe! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 06:59 AM |
| 17 | Guy I’ve been dating for a couple months texted me to say he’ll be busy this weekend and nextTime to move on. Block and delete. Usually, when he pulls out excuses like busy life or he iSnT iN a GoOd pLaCe, then it's all a lie meant to keep you waiting. Their strategy is simple in this sense, just as the message is clear : you are NOT his top priority and he has made this clear as daylight. So, let me ask: why do you keep making him your top priority? You don't have to examine this situation so in-depth. Men have exactly zero problems juggling between tons of dates and postponing yours b… | /r/askFDS | 19/09/20 12:49 PM |
| 6 | How I got my petty revenge one timeIt felt satisfying, not gonna lie. 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 03:37 PM |
| 4 | um... I’m hoping this is a jokeThe only person for whom I'm ever buying an expensive gaming device is myself. I have a savings account where I drop money occasionally. I bought MYSELF an entire cosplay costume right from my own money recently. I didn't have to ask any man for shit. That's my money going right where it should: in myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 09:41 AM |
| 3 | A post about attachment theory and why it's important for you to be aware of itI wrote a post exactly like this not too long ago, but yours is way more comprehensive and complete! Thank you for your post, sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 07:56 AM |
| 1 | Calling all FDS experts! We need your help over at r/AskFDS to help answer personal relationship questions.I am not sure if I'm an expert, but, if I can help, I would love to contribute there as well, <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 09:34 AM |
| 36 | Never once did my exes ever do anything close to this.. take note ladies.My dude does all of this without being asked to or filming it. It's a nice thought, a nice example, but a HVM does not expect internet brownie points for basic bare minimum. Even since I read The Rules, there's something that stayed with me from there: when you do something, you don't have time to flaunt it on the internet. It was a real eye-opener for me. I also recommend the song and video Noise from Nightwish. They are very spot on about people expecting validation from the internet with that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 06:46 AM |
| 2 | Why attachment styles theory can save you a lot of heartacheDemon Burger are absolutely my faves. Their latest album has been a major inspiration for my spiritual journey. Couple that with having seen them live and I have never been the same. Sis, your attachment style is perfectly okay. They aren't necessarily 100% clear-cut. We display features from each and all of them, one of them simply happens to be more prominent. Plus, honestly, the wrong partner can really awake a person in you that you didn't think yourself capable of being. This book was one o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 10:20 AM |
| 1 | Why attachment styles theory can save you a lot of heartacheInsecurity in itself does not make a LV person in my eyes, it's what they DO about it. In the past, I ticked a lot of items on any standard pick me traits list. Seriously. You can call me out on my former pick me tendencies and I'll just nod my head in acknowledgement at this point. I grew up with an abusive father and enabler mother. That did some damage to my development and, naturally, my perceptions of the world and relationships. Basically, my childhood schemas or patterns pushed me to choo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 10:16 AM |
| 13 | Her asking her ex for flowers VS when they broke up and he saw her receive flowers from one someone else 😂😂😂I wouldn't have even bothered to reply. I would just block and move on. Spare yourself the energy wasted on these dudes and live your best life instead! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 06:39 AM |
| 6 | Why attachment styles theory can save you a lot of heartacheIt's all my pleasure, sis! I hope the book offers you the same insight it offered me <3 ! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 12:38 PM |
| 27 | FDS Mantras as quick reminders. Any suggestions?I tend to walk a lot with my head down. Bad tendency from being raised with an abuser. I wrote myself a very tiny stanza and it keeps ringing in my head like a song to remind me straight is the only way to go: I walk head up, chin high, Chest all puffed up, Thinking "Slay!" all the time, I'm a whole package, royal size. It works wonders! I immediately straighten my position right up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 09:04 AM |
| 4 | Pick me qualities I’m seeing in this groupI am in Eastern Europe, so, I usually go to local sites from around here. Found some great leather ones I need to polish now that autumn is coming. Metal shop and Gothica are some that come to mind now for me. They're pricey, but so worth it <3 . | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 09:00 AM |
| 10 | Pick me qualities I’m seeing in this groupI am so glad you mentioned "The Rules"! While I love the queen vibes there, the advice such as never send nudes, never pay for things, never relocate to another city or change school for a guy, I did not vibe at all with dress like this, do your hair like this, talk less and listen more. Why would I dye my hair blonde just for a man to like me? Why would I change my whole style from metal af boots to heels just because men like it that way? Hell, no! He either accepts me as the Queen of the Nigh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 06:35 AM |
| 6 | How do you learn to stop being overly polite to men?I think your focus is a bit too much on the other side. No worries. I understand. I, too, was conditioned to think, even since childhood, that basically catering to what others need, making a good impression was the norm. Be a polite lady, never raise your voice, the classic bullshit girls have to hear since day 1 of breathing. I have long decided, "Fuck that noise!" Being safe and comfortable is more important than being polite. The guy decided to ask these awkward questions. He decided to make… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 11:02 AM |
| 9 | Why are men like thisI can see where you're coming from and, please, do not be too harsh to yourself. It was a confusing situation because of prior connection. If this had been a random stranger, I am positive things wouldn't have gotten this far. The plus side is, you've learned something and now you have a future reference. There will always be a conflicting side of you trying to tell you that maybe you're too cruel, that maybe you shouldn't be that bitch, but, hear me out: if men can pull out these absolutely una… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 08:15 AM |
| 21 | Why are men like thisTake it from someone who took a trash ex back a few times back in my PickMe days: never, ever trust men who suddenly want to re-connect after years of absence! If he had wanted something to do with you, he would have been there all along, no games, nothing. Considering everything I've learned from both personal experience and this sub, I think it's safe to say these guys never have pure intentions. Do not give men the benefit of the doubt, fellow queen! I always follow the reversed principle of … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 05:32 AM |
| 1 | Guys who approach women randomly literally anywhere: STOP!There have already been TWO mad creeps in my DMs, both declined. Listen here: your DMs mean exactly NOTHING to me. You are talking to a wall. There is absolutely no moment when your voice is of any importance to me. To those of you commenting here and relating to this experience: I am terribly sorry you've had to go through this. I truly am. I am here to send you warm hugs, healing vibes, love, support, and encouragement. It's not easy at all to heal from trauma these creeps inflict on us. It's … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/20 12:24 PM |
| 12 | Guys who approach women randomly literally anywhere: STOP!If their victim is naive enough, they might. It's terrifying to think about how they actively prey on those of us who appear vulnerable or naive. They know, deep in their core, this imbalance lays ground for them to get their way with their victim. As I mentioned in the post, when I was 14, the very same happened to me, I bought into it, and it could have cost me my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 04:37 PM |
| 32 | Why are European men SO INTENSE?Romanian here: SIS, RUN! Let me tell you this from my experiences dating Romanian boys: although I am proud to be Romanian, Romanian boys and men are absolute dumbasses. Not worth your time, energy, anything at all. For context, try to imagine being raised in a backwards society that does not acknowledge that hitting children is not normal, that randomly stalking women is not acceptable, that basically keeps babying men, not holding them accountable for gruesome actions. I can keep going forever… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 01:23 PM |
| 4 | We block and level up!The tweets that come from this person in particular are 🔥🔥🔥 . Always harsh and, yet, much needed reminders we owe it to ourselves to do better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 08:44 AM |
| 3 | Mood for daysI literally write my fanfics the same way. I don't get the appeal of writing out abuse just for the sake of abuse. I cannot comprehend putting that forth. I need healthy ships just as I need air at this point, honestly. In a way, writing healthy ships be it through fanfic or via role playing certain characters on tumblr has helped me set exactly what I want from my man in real life. He knows I won't take any shit. I've had no problem leaving bad relationships before and I certainly have no issue… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 07:57 AM |
| 15 | We need to set boundaries with toxic women too. Don’t waste your time beating a dead horse. Some people just can’t be saved.We should also add here women who are abusive in themselves. I had such friends in the past. I had one who constantly kept abusing me verbally, hurting me deeply, but I kept going back to her thinking she was such a great friend. We both had abusive fathers. My eyes were opened when a friend from uni heard me saying some things this toxic person would say, and went like, "OH MY GOD! What friend says that? Block her!" I listened to the newer friend, blocked the toxic and abusive one and everyone … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 08:19 AM |
| 26 | FDS Relationship Success Stories?Nearly 2 years relationship here. First off, me and my current boyfriend did not get serious until after 2 months of dating, speaking, going out, and so on. One green flag for me was how there was no pressure for sex just because we had dinner a few times. We spent time getting to know each other. I made it clear from the get-go I'm not interested in doing mommy and wifey stuff for someone who isn't as interested or invested as I am. His response to this was a decisive factor for me. He didn't p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 08:08 AM |
| 24 | Don't Sacrifice Yourself for Selfish People. You Will Get No Reciprocity and No Thanks.That a breakup that follows an awkward encounter in which he used her ass and left her in the shower to cry, and told her he didn't respect her anymore could be civil and positive? My heart just sank reading this. My whole soul felt violated and I'm willing to bet hers was, too. Performing sexual acts under pressure is called dubious consent for a god damn reason. I have had an ex trying to pressure me into sex regardless of me opening up about my sexual assault to him. According to his alien lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 07:58 AM |
| 32 | I see no lies 🤷🏻♀️. If he can’t provide financial stability, he doesn’t deserve children or a wife. In fact, some cultures SEVERELY vet men to ensure that they have good character and are capable of taking care of their wife and kids financially and emotionally.As a fellow Eastern European, I agree. Men in my country are expected, by default, to pay for dates, provide, do the steps to make sure their women are happy. Most of the guys I have sat down with always paid for the date, even if it didn't go anywhere in the end. In fact, society even shames men who sit on their ass all day doing nothing. There are, sadly, also drawbacks in my culture at least (can't speak for the country of the Queen in the video). While the man is supposed to work and provide… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 07:29 AM |
| 2 | The journey of a pickme and LVM daughterFirst off, I would like to say I am terribly sorry you've gone through the same pain. It's truly impossible to put in words, at times, how this sort of family dynamic affects everyone, not only its members. While I cannot speak for other countries, I can tell you that, at least in mine, life for divorced single mothers can be a pain. I assume my mother was afraid to reach out, her confidence torn to shreds. While I wish she could have done it, I also understand why she thought she was unable to.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 09:57 AM |
| 2 | The journey of a pickme and LVM daughterThank you for your kind words! Been writing on and off since 12 (or earlier). Now I have definitely been more on the "on" side. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 10:32 PM |
| 3 | The journey of a pickme and LVM daughterYou are very kind, sis! <3 My intention with this post is to try and spread this tale so that, perhaps, we can learn from it. If by sharing my own experience I can help someone avoid a similar one, then I'm truly happy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 10:08 PM |
| 3 | The journey of a pickme and LVM daughterThis comment literally just put a smile on my face. It's truly beautifully written and it made me feel so warm inside. Thank you again for your kind words and recommendations, sis! <3 All I can say is, I've been through a lot, and the reason I'm putting this story out here is so that others may learn a thing or two. For one, never let men tear you down. And, two: you can always start over at any point in your life. It is hard, it is a long road, but it can be worth it, in the end. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 10:07 PM |
| 4 | The journey of a pickme and LVM daughterThank you! I am definitely striving towards healing, have gotten into reading about abuse and its damage. Even so, I often feel there are new layers to discover to it. I thank you for your recommendation! I shall add it to my list <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 08:11 PM |
| 3 | Do friends who have made sexual advances toward you deserve an explaination as to why you're cutting them out?I just want to say my piece as I've thought I had a male friend, too. He offered to help me out through some difficult situations, for which I was grateful. All was nice and dandy until he started to get more pushy and just casually put his arm around me when we'd be walking down the streets and all that. He has even confessed sexual attraction WHILE he had a girlfriend. (They broke up in the mean time.) I've straight up ghosted his ass. I'm in a relationship now in which I have found UNCONDITIO… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 08:24 AM |
| 9 | My Level Up Plan. What's yours? (This will keep me busy!)I am at a later phase in my healing, though I wish I had been more organized in it. However, here are a few steps I've taken throughout my journey: Graduate from uni. Find a job. Find a place to live. Therapy. It has helped me a great amount. I have started a new hobby: singing. I am not an ace, but I am proud of my progress in my 1 year and six months since I have been doing it. Focus on myself. I read a lot of books or articles because they help ME. Some of the books you've noted on your list … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 07:51 AM |
| 5 | Other women are NOT your competition!Women supporting each other is what we need in this world, if you ask me. Our society and culture has very much to learn regarding how women are treated. We are expected to be the face of the sacrificial lamb stereotype, always giving, giving, and giving until we are left too numb. But, I digress! My point is, we are all sisters, connected by the ways in which a malfunctioning culture has mistreated us. We have a voice now, a forum to meet and discuss that is centered around the needs and though… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/20 08:12 AM |
| 5 | Ladies, level up and go to therapy....Truth has been spoken! I was in therapy for a year. Then, when I left my therapist's office after our last meeting, I could not believe the changes I have made. I no longer crave anyone's validation or attention, including parents or friends or even significant other. I indulge in things I love (especially reading or games), do well at my job and handle situations way better overall whereas my past self was such a broken little girl. In order to attract that HVM we all deserve we also should be … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/20 09:01 AM |
| 7 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingExactly so! You never have to second-guess any moment that they love you and care about you. They'll constantly let you know through words and actions that prove their words constantly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 04:01 PM |
| 5 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingMine did something along the lines, too: best chair, good headphones, prepared my laptop for me just to be ready to start without a problem. I am happy yours is so careful and thoughtful, too! Wishing you two happiness and prosperity! ♡ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 03:36 PM |
| 6 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingCompared to my genuinely nasty exs who cheated, lied, verbally abused me and all, this one seems so different. Our flow is honestly just so synced it's unreal. Of course, no relationship is all flowers and ponies, but when there's investment on his part, you know it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 03:06 PM |
| 5 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingI have seen it in many posts here: a HVM loves doing such things! He doesn't expect YOU to just do it all for him as he is invested in you and your partnership. This is, honestly, the only way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 03:04 PM |
| 7 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingHonestly, after discovering FDS, seeing songs, books, or just generally anything promoting the idea that love and passion equal suffering, that intense, wild roller coaster, I roll my eyes so hard. Healthy relationships are not boring. They are just a quiet, safe little space, where we feel loved and appreciated for who we are. They can help you thrive if the partner is really your partner, and not some parasite just bleeding you dry or some Drama King keeping you chasing. There are no mixed sig… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 03:00 PM |
| 27 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingYour bf sounds like my man!! I am so happy he takes such good care of you! Best of luck to you two! ♡ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 12:23 PM |
| 29 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingNo problem! As cliche as it sounds, we met on Tinder, however we didn't make any move until after 2 months of seeing each other and talking. What I noticed as different about him compared to the rest of the guys was the fact that he never tried to rush sex or kissing or anything. He was comfortable with my own pace of things. I never felt I had to be afraid of stating what I needed, which was a slower pace of things in terms of intimacy. It really all grew from there. He even listened to me ramb… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 11:58 AM |
| 41 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingBelieve me, after being abused by my father and then by my exes (usually verbally, one even tried to coerce me into sex), this is still unreal for me, too. It's like healthy love exists and I was living in a totally parallel universe up until nearly two years ago, when I met my current boyfriend. I almost couldn't believe how genuinely happy he was to care FOR ME, not to have me cater to him all the time. A HVM really is a gift from the Heavens, not gonna lie. He always knows how to be there for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 11:28 AM |
| 22 | Small things your HVM does to demonstrate he puts you first?I told my bf not too long I craved pizza. He immediately suggested we to go an after work date to this place where we had pizza and a few nice drinks. In the mornings, getting ready for work, he always brings me my coat and helps me put it on. He even surprises me with breakfast and I don't have to ask it of him. He constantly tells me I'm beautiful, loves my stretch marks, insists I'm perfect the way I am whenever I voice a lack of confidence. When it's about our experience in bed, he puts my p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/20 08:23 AM |
| 32 | All that verbal diarrhoea just to say 'date young girls, they're easier to prey on' 🤢🤢🤢" GIRLS MATURE EARLIER THAN BOYS" Never have I ever read more of a pile of crap sentence than this. I'm 23 and, trust me, totally not as mature as older women. I used to be very naive just a few years ago, clinging to every bit of attention I got due to the abuse I experienced at the hands of my own father. Thank goodness I've learned to look for men better than that! But, returning to the point: using "girls mature earlier than boys" as an excuse to prey on young women is disgusting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 02:48 PM |
| 3 | Snap from a convo I had with a friend who saw her guy with someone else. NEVER let him bleed you dry!!!Sadly, some of us need to hit rock bottom real hard before we realise guys with mommy issues won't do better unless THEY want to. My friend had to see this man holding some other girl's hand as if we were in some cheap soap opera show for her to see just how easily he discards women and uses them, treating them as sexual toys to feed his ego. He gets bored of one or she wants something serious? He goes cold, low contact, finds another one to wreck, comes running back for female attention (read: … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/19 11:24 AM |
| 2 | Snap from a convo I had with a friend who saw her guy with someone else. NEVER let him bleed you dry!!!Depressed and angry is how I feel as well. Just because he does the things he never did with someone else, that doesn't indicate he will change. I feel sorry for her because she is such a smart, beautiful, and capable woman and yet this man has scarred her in the worst way possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/19 10:39 AM |
| 1 | Snap from a convo I had with a friend who saw her guy with someone else. NEVER let him bleed you dry!!!In this context, thing is, he held someone else's hand while he told her he hated holding hands and she saw them. Go figure. That, for me, at least, is some trash. He wasn't honest with her all along at all. I have always been positive he had engaged multiple women at the same time just to feed his fragile ego. Everything about this guy is a red flag as huge as the Soviet Union. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/19 07:15 AM |
| 9 | Snap from a convo I had with a friend who saw her guy with someone else. NEVER let him bleed you dry!!!It really is! I love her like my own sister, but this just hurts. This man does not deserve her and never has. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/19 09:04 PM |
| 11 | Snap from a convo I had with a friend who saw her guy with someone else. NEVER let him bleed you dry!!!Exactly! Preach it, sis! If you have to beg for even a shred of decency, he ain't the one! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/19 08:41 PM |
| 36 | Snap from a convo I had with a friend who saw her guy with someone else. NEVER let him bleed you dry!!!What hurts me is that she's done everything for this guy and he put NO effort in their dynamic, all the while she still thinks SHE wasn't good enough for him. She let him suck out her energy and soul. I truly hope, for her sake, she comes to see that she could give her love to a much better, more worthy man who will respect her. It's not our job to fix broken guys. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/19 08:38 PM |
| 30 | Preach.I wish someone had told me this back in the day, really. I used to put up with so many canceled plans. Even when my friends would say "He's cancelled so much on you!", I would still try to think that, maybe, nothing is wrong. Glad to say I am in a better place now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 11:02 AM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter