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nickpete12345 Archive

View 5 posts and 49 comments by nickpete12345 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This reminds me of the women on dating apps that for employment put “SAHM” like shiiit how can anyone be a SAHM and single! Of course someone else is paying for your laziness.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 01:13 AM
1

After I found out about the newest affair and she asked for divorce I just blocked her and most of her family from it along with snapchat/etc. Didn't care to get reminders of what she was up to nor previous memories. It was realllly helpful with moving on. She was pissed when I did it which I could care less about. It's been almost 2 years and the peace of not caring what craziness she's up to is great. See her at kids activities but that's about it. Just found out she got engaged which was odd …
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 02:38 PM
7

5 kids here including a couple with special needs. My ex is mostly around but monkey branched and is now moving him in. I can’t do anything about what happens at her house and who she leaves the kids with. What I can do is be a rock for my kids. When they come to my house it might not be as “exciting/chaotic” but they know what to expect, dads always here and there is love in the home. Be there lighthouse in the storm. Slow and steady.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 12:06 PM
1

Even if the market is suppressed due to weather that means if you were to go and buy one immediately you'd get a better deal. We just came to an agreement (even higher than the one appraisel we had done). We essentially used the logic of picking a value that if the other person decided to keep the asset they would be comfortable with the value decided on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 07:07 PM
1

Adding on that the IRA "for the kids" you can still do a QRDO split and both hold half for your child.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 04:40 PM
1

I was able to split without lawyers. I'm the money one. I just made a spreadsheet with all assets (netted out with any liabilities/penalties to liquidate) and then just told her to pick whatever she wants as long as it equals the same at the bottom. If my ex told me the IRA story I'd just tell her I plan to give all my money to my kids when they're older so they don't count :)
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 04:39 PM
1

We just do 50/50 on daycare/activities and medical regardless who’s time it happens on as long as both agree it’s good for the kids
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:25 PM
2

Thanks all for your feedback. I'm just going to ask her if she wants to go and do that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 08:24 PM
1

It’s a sleepover at the APs ex-wife’s house
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:20 PM
2

The AP first got cheated on by the mom, then he cheated with my wife at the time years later
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:20 PM
1

9 y/o. I’ve never told her but she knows I don’t like her friends dad. My ex had him to our house when I found out and she was crying when I told her I couldn’t be at home with the guy there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:14 PM
2

Single life is amazing!!! 18 months post divorce and I still get that “thank you god” feeling walking into my new house cause it’s clean and declutterred.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 03:54 PM
2

We had 5 younger kids and did it without lawyers. She just wanted out (assuming to go to her affair partner) and I just wanted my half and to be done. I was able to make a spreadsheet with all our assets and just had her pick and choose what she wanted and as long as it was half I was good with it. She tried getting just over 50/50 but I held firm on that as we are both good parents and some of our kids are high-needs. Overall it was the smoothest I can picture a divorce going with 5 kids. Offic…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 02:36 PM
1

Mine asked for a 6th child 6 months before leaving. Luckily I went the vasectomy route and didn’t give in to her attempts to get pregnant while waiting for surgery.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 12:31 PM
1

lol damnit, I was hoping you’d say it didn’t make a difference. What’d you end up getting for an SUV?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 10:41 PM
4

I'm about 18 months out and the peace is undeniable now. Live a simplistic life (as much as you can with a bunch of kids) but to have money in the bank, house is clean, nobody hounding me every day....Ugh I've thought about trading for an SUV the past year but I'm a cheapa$$ and don't want to pay for more than I need and the sliding doors are soooo handy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 10:20 PM
1

I hear ya! I only have 50/50 but with 5 youngins I still find it challenging. Definitely feels odd rolling up to a date in a minivan...Although part of me wants to date or potentially find love again I also really enjoy my solitude and peace of mind. Time will tell where life takes me. Part of me thinks staying single other than some flings might be better until my youngest is self-sufficient and then re-enter the dating pool for something more serious.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 10:05 PM
2

5 kids here 50/50. After dipping my feet into the dating pool a couple different times over the past year I feel like it's best to just wait until my kids are older. I don't think it's worth taking my attention off my kids when I do have them and I don't care to introduce anyone to them still (been just over a year). I love being able to have my full attention on them when they're here and my free days are so peaceful doing what I please. Would some "attention" be nice every once in a while, yes…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 01:44 PM
3

Tossed it in the garbage when cleaning out my car.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 01:13 AM
23

Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing your inside to her outside. Think of how many people put on an impression and it's nothing compared to what's really going on. Stick to your plan of providing for your kids the best you can. You're doing it. Keep going.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 03:27 PM
1

No just acquaintances. And just to clarify it’s not to get his wife in trouble they barely even interacted just more of a heads up
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 12:43 AM
5

Figured as much but definitely got me thinking
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 11:04 PM
2

lol thanks for clarifying
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 10:54 PM
5

If you each claim one you both get the higher HOH deduction every year
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:09 PM
1

Is she also receiving additional assets to compensate for the additional debt or is it pre-marital?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 08:01 PM
2

OP I knew mine wanted the home as well but wanted to make sure if she chose to walk away I didn't even hesitate taking the home (knowing it was fair). Even though I felt slighted in how she handled things (affair, etc) I wanted to be able to sleep good at night knowing my side of the street was clean and stayed honest.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:50 PM
2

Exactly, I made an excel spreadsheet with all assets and did liabilities on each (mortgage, taxes, penalties for withdrawal, etc) to come up with "net value" and said she can pick whatever she wanted as long as it equaled the same for totals. Seemed to work really good I got to pick the logical values based on analysis and I was willing to give up/trade anything.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:42 PM
4

My ex was able to keep our mortgage rate (2.4%) via a transfer versus refinance so I had a similar issue as you. In the end I was given more of the retirement accounts and I just applied a liability for penalty/taxes since in theory I'd have to early withdraw to use them for down payment on my new house.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:22 PM
3

I had a similar situation and was able to come to a compromise without lawyers. I just applied a "liability" to each asset for taxes at our current tax rate for the pre-tax accounts since I would need to cash out to buy my own home and a liability for the current gain x tax rate for brokerage accounts that I would need to pay at end of year. Some of the retirement accounts I also put part of the penalty on as well but some I chose not to since I technically couldn't withdraw early from even if I…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 02:21 PM
1

Do you see how you're offering to give her $1000 extra per month above what is required yet at the same time saying how you're worried about living paycheck to paycheck? Divorce is hard. You're choosing to make it worse. Unless you have some sort of guilt for breaking up the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 04:31 PM
1

If she gets the $350k home and you get the $200k home without mortgages, she would either owe you $150k in additional value elsewhere (investments/cash/etc) OR owe you $75k. I just made an excel spreadsheet listing Asset Value, liability (in this case none), and Equity (value - liability). Then allowed her to pick what she wanted but in the end the total equity for each of us had to balance out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 09:16 PM
5

I laid it out on an excel spreadsheet to my ex and just said here's the values you can pick whatever you want as long as it's equal if not let's go to court and we can give $50k to lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 08:12 PM
3

Not sure how you are calculating the house/car etc but it's really based on the net of all assets cut in half the amount of debt doesn't necessarily matter. Example House - Worth - $500,000 - Mortgage - $490,000 Car - Worth - $30,000 - Loan - $0 Cash - $20,000 In this case you have $60,000 to split. ie you get the house and $20k in cash and she just gets the car.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 07:48 PM
3

Kids want to be with there parents man. If anything stuff is just background noise just be there for them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 09:12 PM
4

Similar in a lot ways! FIL chronic alcoholic and dying from it. I've been sober a long time. FIL can't do wrong, cheat on mom, call his daughters sluts, no biggie! Me going to 12 step meetings a few times a week, "how dare you!". All I can do now is be grateful I don't have to deal with the chaos and can provide a healthy home for my children instead of being in a war zone the rest of my life! Count your blessings!
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 02:32 PM
1

I wonder if you can put in the docs that you get 50% of her balance on such and such date so if she doesn’t provide half she committed fraud or when filing for the distribution the retirement company will see the 50% and do the calculation themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:08 PM
5

I prayed for her to find peace. She cheated after 9 years together. Also helped my anger to realize it was a blessing to find out and not have to be with a low character person anymore. She wasn’t the woman I married and to not have to be with a shitty person was a huge gift that some don’t get easily.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 01:38 AM
13

haha right, mine was about $5-6k per month. And I'm talking just target, kohls, tjmaxx, etc!!! I'm sure she's starting to understand how much I subsidized her living to make ends meet.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 06:56 PM
20

I had a similar outcome this past summer! Cheated, 5 younger kids, married 5 years. No alimony or child support (for now) 50/50 custody Kept all my retirement/cash on hand in exchange for house equity (50/50 asset split) Savings has been incredible since divorce :) No Lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 06:52 PM
4

I still talk to the ex MIL over text mainly but keep it pretty straight forward and never anything about her daughter. Week after I moved out I blocked all her family and some mutual friends who knew about AP and didn’t say anything. It’s been a big help with moving on not seeing any reminders of her pop up on my feed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:49 AM
3

I work in administration and he's a grunt at one of our other locations so I see him maybe once a year. Trust me, the ideas flooded my mind but being in jail won't help my children and I'm close enough to the public eye that my job would be in jeopardy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 02:37 PM
3

My ex was able to assume our mortgage may want to check into that if allowed. She still had to go thru underwriting but it allowed her to keep same interest rate/balance. Note: we had enough other assets where she didn’t need to take equity out. I would under no circumstances stay on the same mortgage. She’ll be homeless in 1-2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 01:09 PM
6

THIS! My ex was around the same $5k-$6k per month so even with my income almost getting cut in half I'm up a ton in the past 7 months.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 09:48 PM
–

Thank you all for your tips I appreciate it! Grateful to have motivation to get out of my comfort zones.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 12:41 PM
1

She’s keeping the house, for now. We filled out an online divorce agreement that became final.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 03:35 AM
4

We had a ~2800 sq foot house and we just just agreed on a value for everything in the house minus my clothes/bicycle/small stuff I took of mine. In our case we agreed on $5,500. We didn't have anything super nice and with many young kids everything was fairly worn down but also felt ok knowing I had some cash to get beds/furniture. I coulda fought for higher value but just wanted out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 08:29 PM
3

I have 5 daughters and I just made it a point to let them decorate their rooms exactly how they wanted it (LED lights, clouds made of cotton, etc) and tried to listen to how they viewed the new space and adjust as best I could. Also let them bring some of there stuff from old house so not everything was new. 6 months later they are pretty content I'd say and see it as their home.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:52 PM
1

You're correct, loan and title completely in her name but the HOI I paid out of my own funds (after separation) and she asked me to transfer it to her so she could actually take over the loan/title which I did. So now it's just asking for my money back and she's wanting to pay over the 10 months versus just giving me lump sum.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:47 PM
6

"Forgetting to take her birth control pills for a week" a couple weeks after I almost broke it off with her. Found this one out when we were meeting with the OBGYN about her pregnancy and he was wondering how she got pregnant while on the pill. Then cue second child where we didn't have sex for a few months then all of a sudden wanted to one day (seduced). Year and a half later found out she had cheated me on with old boyfriend the week prior so guessing she wanted to cover up if she ended up ge…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:08 PM
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