How to handle interaction with exes AP

Reflog1791 · 2025-03-01T07:59:55+00:00

Your ex spun a web of lies to the AP too. Just smile at your kid. Don’t take this so personally. Make something good happen with your life. I know it’s hard to see it but you have to work to imagine a new awesome life.

Go on a self improvement mission. If the affair starts your self improvement mission you will thank this guy some day. May be hard to see it now but improve yourself, your life, and your children’s lives and all this drama and trauma will be well worth it.

masterof-xe · 2025-02-27T22:42:16+00:00

I just laugh at the idea of him screwing her as I know how many partners he has. Like a walking STI factory and he infected her. I know they've hooked up multiple times since the divorce. And is now going through marriage problems since his wife has closed their open marriage.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-02-26T22:55:34+00:00

I went to a funeral. Her AP was there and speaking. When he received word I was there, he delayed his arrival and deceased’s wife told me she was very concerned about his lateness. Upon his arrival, I generally avoided him. I later said good speech and he got the deer in the headlights look followed by a meek hello. There was awkward silence. I got through it. Honestly his loss to have become involved with her.

its-n0t-me-its-y0u · 2025-02-26T21:41:51+00:00

If you need revenge, your fists is the wrong way to do it. If you can’t come up with something clever that has no way of backfiring right now, then just bide your time. 1, 3, 5 years out… eventually the opportunity will present itself to you.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-02-26T20:19:49+00:00

If you say something, in that moment you might feel good about it but later you'll regret it AND as an added bonus there could be fall out with your ex and/or kids when older.

As tough as it is best to say nothing. I would just avoid talking ad if they try and chat just say "I really have nothing to say to you right now"

deep66it2 · 2025-02-26T17:57:25+00:00

Go & enjoy yourself. This person only exists as a coworker. Keep in mind, most get togethers have political overtones. Work the room in you favor.

probebeta · 2025-02-26T17:41:45+00:00

Just pretend you dont know him and collect as much info about his current gf. Second part was a joke but is it really 😅

upvotersfortruth · 2025-02-26T16:53:29+00:00

It’s a company event - either don’t go or be professional. Work related is work related, no need to make yourself potentially look bad in front of coworkers. Then print out his picture and put it on your heavy bag for when you get home.

UnimportantOutcome67 · 2025-02-26T16:31:28+00:00

You don't owe shit head anything in a non-work setting.

You owe your kids your best self.

You need to figure what that all looks like for yourself, champ.

No_Pace2396 · 2025-02-26T15:59:56+00:00

I dated a coworker. Aside from how obviously a bad idea that was, she turned out to be pretty messed up. And my cube shared a wall with her. So I saw her everyday. I just put myself in a zone. Probably close to gray rock. It was for my sanity—I still wanted her—and job security. Didn’t seek her out, didn’t avoid her. If it was work, that was the extent of our discussion. If she tried to be sociable/friendly beyond that, I recognized it as her attention seeking game. I was responsive to the point of cold politeness, didn’t offer anything more than platitudes, and moved to terminate the interaction.

You don’t have to be around him, but you don’t have to run to the other side of the room either. My guess is the AP will be avoidant. Let him. worst case you’re in a circle with him and it’s uncomfortable, but you just go into a zone where, unless he’s the focus he doesn’t exist, when he is you look right thru him, respond with “hmmm, that’s interesting” then return him to another dimension.

Kids. The little one, let her do what she wants. At that age friendships are transient and if you don’t facilitate it it will fade. The older you can’t control. If she has a whiff of who he is I’d be surprised if she maintains any relationship. It’s just a one time thing.

Don’t go Walt…you’re taking care of her fucking dog! World of pain scene. That transference is real. Just be aware.

TheYankeeFist · 2025-02-26T15:18:52+00:00

Why is everyone so anxious to beat the snot out of the AP? Unless he raped her, she deserves just as much hatred, etc as the meatstick.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-02-26T14:33:46+00:00

That's a tough one.

Personally I would have put him in hospital the first time I saw him after I found out. You just don't fuck around with another man's wife. That's bro code, not just a religious sin.

Having to work with the guy? Well you don't. Honestly I would kick his ass and leave and go work somewhere else, and you would be completely right to do so. You sound like a religious guy so if you aren't going to stand up for the 7th commandment then who will?

But that's just me mate. If you are determined to let this guy do whatever the fuck he pleases with your wife with no repercussions and continue to work with him almost everyday then just continue to do nothing and keep your mouth shut. I'll be praying for you to come to your senses tho.

TBD112017 · 2025-02-26T13:58:23+00:00

Rough one, but my advice would be don’t punish any of the kids, they did nothing wrong. If you run into her in front of them be cordial and no more. If you run into her without them, full on ignore, she earned it for her role in tearing apart a family.

Title	How to handle interaction with exes AP
Author	nickpete12345
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	February 26, 2025 1:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1iynxct/how_to_handle_interaction_with_exes_ap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-handle-interaction-with-exes-ap.1545014 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545014

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