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oceanicallyunbounded Archive

View 0 posts and 252 comments by oceanicallyunbounded on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

If you believe that hard drugs should be legal for adults, this thread's not for you. Welp, I'm out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/18 07:35 PM
1

I'm late 20s and would still say fuck no.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 10:23 PM
1

I second this, if you're keeping score.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/18 03:09 PM
1

I'm going to need to test this out, for science.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/18 10:32 PM
1

This was my only experience with an open relationship as well. He wanted some strange, I was young and insecure and in my first relationship, dreading a breakup. He got plenty, I stayed faithful.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/18 09:08 PM
1

Exactly that- a constant, unrelenting drive to pursue when all that does is create pressure. A pursuer-distancer dynamic which reinforces itself- anxiety leads to pursuit which leads to rejection which leads to anxiety. Turning sex into a chore. I'm looking to understand how to inspire him instead of pressuring him.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/18 08:12 PM
1

I really needed to hear this right now. Thanks. Any other tips for someone in this situation?
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/18 07:20 PM
1

Nope, I'm not an activist. I'm a feminist in the way that I'm in favor of vaccines, or how I believe in evolution, or gravity. To me, believing in equality is basically the default state.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 07:30 PM
1

But what about my grueling 11hr work day?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 05:48 PM
1

I'm here too, I'll happily add my voice to feminists who agree with HigHog here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/18 05:44 PM
1

Childhood mutual crushes, reunited years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/18 05:38 PM
1

Ooh I like that. Nonsexual but still prompting closeness.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/18 07:10 PM
1

It's true. But they do invalidate "impossible".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 06:55 AM
1

You're just wrong on this one. I know some pretty mismatched couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/18 03:57 AM
1

I love your suggestion about nice sweatpants and a crop top- I've recently gotten feedback that lingerie creates pressure, so I'm looking for great low-key ways to create excitement without forcing it. Thanks! Anything more you've got on the topic would be definitely appreciated!
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/18 01:10 PM
1

They really aren't. I've dated both men and women, and they both involve hard work and challenges.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/18 01:18 AM
1

Those both kind of sound the same- doing your best is a way of feeling good about what you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/18 08:33 PM
1

There's a difference between what works and what's ethical. Sure, you can bully someone into changing their behavior, but their mental health will suffer. Being against shaming means prioritizing that over enforcing behavioral changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 05:57 PM
1

I'd absolutely prefer to raise a kid myself than in a bad relationship. Maybe others with that same values preference becomes part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/18 12:54 AM
1

For me personally, I'm competing with my graduating class on career. I don't particularly feel a different competition with the women, but I definitely feel competition to be above average, get to C-suite faster, start a better company, produce more value. It's probably my MBA/tech bubble. Status-wise, a partner is far far secondary; at reunions and such, they're practically ignored- or at best, a supporting role.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/18 07:39 PM
1

That's not even short in my experience- it's the most common height I tend to date, and is perfect for cuddles and kisses!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/18 02:46 PM
1

C'mon, that's like saying balls are ovaries. We've got different anatomy, and that's fine. Look, you're fighting against ghosts here. I already said that I'm against it as a practice- just that I'll defer the penis-related decisions to the penis-wielder. It's like how I wouldn't want him having input on whether I get a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/18 03:15 AM
1

I'm generally against it in theory. But I'd let my future husband decide for a hypothetical son, because I can't say I really have a clue what it's like to have or not have a foreskin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/18 02:35 AM
1

It's not a gendered thing. Going up to strangers with sexual expectations is creepy. Context and consent matter- flinging open your trenchcoat and flashing a subway car full of people is way different than doing it to your SO in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 06:26 PM
1

really? You can cherry-pick crazies from any side, for sure. I would disagree with the actions of the person in that post.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 06:23 PM
1

You're absolutely free to walk away from the creepy person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 07:31 AM
1

...yes. "Hey, cool Boston Calling shirt, did you go last year?" isn't creepy. "I'd like to nut on your face" is. What's unclear?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 07:20 AM
1

Huh? I don't think I said anything about men at all. A woman coming up to me and being overtly sexual right off the bat would be equally creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 06:50 AM
1

I think you're looking at it the wrong way. An "approach" is creepy if it's a stranger with immediate, clear, sexual intentions. Think of it as "starting a conversation" instead of "approaching" and I think your creep problem will sort itself out pretty fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 12:22 AM
1

I kind of get what you're saying, but I think you've made it pretty confusing. I pretty much never get "the tingles" that RP describes. Even when I really want to have sex with someone. There's a definite difference between the emotional draw to be intimate with someone and physically being turned on. There's also a difference between that and an aesthetic attraction- I can say "That's a good looking guy/girl" without feeling either an emotional or a sexual attraction. Other than that, though, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 12:06 AM
1

I'd say 28-33, generally during or just after MBA.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/18 12:43 AM
1

The 30+ career women in my friends circle are all married or in relationships, I don't see this epidemic of stranded career women outside of ridiculous articles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/18 11:57 PM
1

If anything, being able to get an erection/arousal that easily sounds like a pretty nice perk to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/18 01:53 AM
1

I think the "dilemma" is kind of bullshit. I have a great career and a great partner. I haven't seen these tradeoffs in my own life. Q4All: Is it such a stark choice for women? Nope. Can you be an authoritative woman while retaining your feminine beauty such that men "pull out all the stops to seduce?" I don't care about being "seduced", I care about being in a good relationship. As a go-getter, I went and got, and I'm thrilled about it. Q4All: Do the societal pressures on women to choose financ…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/18 01:50 AM
1

https://www.biography.com/.image/t_share/MTQyMjA5OTU2MTUyNjE1OTQ3/montgomery-clift_croppedjpg.jpg Eh, I counter with this: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e9/f3/dc/e9f3dcf04c30af6d394adc7a8de0a6bc--nirvana-kurt-cobain-young-kurt-cobain.jpg Swoon.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/18 05:50 PM
1

A man will never be a ray of shining beauty like a woman can be. You've clearly never seen a young Kurt Cobain.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/18 08:12 AM
1

That's completely ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/18 04:22 AM
5

A guy I asked out as a teenager rejected me. He came back a decade later and now we're in a serious relationship. He clearly thinks I have even more to offer him now, and I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/18 05:18 PM
2

Valid point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/18 05:02 PM
1

Nope, I'm quite well-loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/18 05:02 PM
2

Hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/18 08:46 AM
2

Never had it, don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/18 08:37 AM
1

Why are you even on this subreddit/ the trp subreddit? Why bother being on these sites? It's interesting. I have good discussions. Fun debates. It's interesting seeing how people view interpersonal relationships, and how people strategize. Plus, back when I was on Tinder, it was really fun telling the people who quoted Mystery/David DeAngelo the next line of their routine. Are you depressed/have no life? Nope. Are you low value females? I suppose it depends on what you're looking for. I'd be ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/18 02:41 AM
1

I honestly haven't seen women talking about getting rich husbands in my circles. I do hear the raunchy sex talk though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/18 09:59 PM
1

I would think someone who didn't think about sex ever was deeply imperfect, asexuals aside.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/18 09:58 PM
1

Back when I was on swipe apps, a dead animal in the bio was a near automatic swipe left. Just, ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/18 05:51 PM
1

As I've kept trying to tell you, no ickier than other people. Sluts, elementary school teachers, surgeons, zookeepers, etc are all back to baseline once washed. I just personally don't want that exposure to things I think are disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 07:08 PM
1

No, that doesn't follow. I think all strangers have a baseline level of ickyness where I wouldn't want to just randomly have their fluids on me. As long as the person is physically clean, the ickiness level doesn't scale with the rest of their behavior- a surgeon isn't ickier just because he was elbows-deep in bile last week.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 07:00 PM
1

Nope, strangers are equally icky to me until I have that bond with them. As an example, I wouldn't be more grossed out by a first date with an elementary school teacher than a high school teacher, despite the fact that the elementary school teacher surely handles more puke and snot. It's not really transitive. Edit: To be clear, I wouldn't want either to be touching me. Edit2: Also, your question seems to ignore where I directly said in my comment "I don't think someone is germier for having sle…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 06:18 PM
1

Well, I've dated both men and women, and I see them similarly. I don't think someone is germier for having slept with a bunch of people- the virgin is just as icky at first meeting as the slut. See my toddler example. I just don't want someone's gross spit in my mouth if they're not someone I have real bonds with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 05:58 PM
1

It's a visceral, germy kind of thing. If I meet someone, I don't want their hands in my hair, or their spit on me, or to smell their farts. It's like when a toddler sticks their slimy fingers in your nose- if it's your toddler, fine, if it's someone else's- ewwww.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 05:21 PM
1

I wouldn't consider sex on the first date. But not because it would be devaluing to my RMV, because it's icky. If I wouldn't share a drink with someone, why would I want to have sex with him? With that being said, I've never felt sexually used. This is far from a universal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/18 05:03 PM
3

It sounds ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/18 06:45 AM
1

Way more than 20% of men have the ability to have satisfying sex lives. Don't let the incel community poison your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/18 06:40 AM
1

Can confirm, definitely more entitled and hard to have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/18 12:15 AM
1

I think that the discrepancy is because those behaviors are more rare here- the women of PPD are often not representative. To me (late 20s, never had casual sex, never had sex in high school, went to an all-girls college with no Greek life, never been to a nightclub, hate alcohol)- my friends are similar and so it seems rare. All the statistics in the world won't resonate viscerally, since the type of girls who are into that are still very much seen as "other". I'd guess you'd find similar backg…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/18 12:14 AM
1

Hi.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/18 11:52 PM
1

My strategy wouldn't be different, but I've exclusively dated people who make far less than me. I think more women would get scared of entering into relationships with high income differentials. But I think those relationships tend to be rare anyway, with most doctors marrying doctors, and cashiers marrying cashiers. I think the betabux phenomenon is wildly overblown here.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/18 08:07 PM
1

Most women would pass on a male pro bodybuilder too. Those types of muscles are freaky.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 10:17 PM
1

Boof it all
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/18 10:15 PM
3

It doesn't sound like you're getting anything positive out of this relationship. I hear a lot of reasons to leave, and no reasons to stay other than inertia and misplaced guilt. Is this a relationship you really want to be in?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/18 08:29 PM
1

The video games are definitely the least of the minefield of problems here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/18 08:27 PM
2

.....paragraphs.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/18 12:35 AM
1

That's actually great! So many people here seem to want 20 year olds, it's actually refreshing to see that's not always the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 09:24 PM
1

For this post, I'm not going to generalize about other women, just sharing how this has gone for me. First is that it's not in a man's interest to wait a few months until some woman he likes figures out whether she likes him back. That's actually definitely true. And I think that if there was a case where a man was actively wanting me and waiting for me to figure it out, that would delay or prevent the process, because it would feel like pressure. At best, they might put you on a back burner whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 08:09 PM
1

One date, one to three hours, is plenty of time for you to figure out if you're feeling it for this guy. That just honestly hasn't been my experience. Then again, while I had a period after college where I tried going on a bunch of dates, none of those wound up leading to relationships. For me, all of my relationships have emerged out of existing friendships, precisely because I haven't been able to have the time it takes for sexual attraction to grow in sporadic 1-3 hour events that feel more l…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 06:28 PM
1

I definitely agree that people shouldn't be wasting money on unproductive dates, but I also get uncomfortable with the near-prostitution feeling that paying for a date entitles a guy to a kiss. This is also one of the reasons I always insist on paying at least my way on a date (and if I asked, I pay all)- I don't want to feel like I owe something. I try to avoid the waste of time by creating interesting activities and conversations, and have wound up with quite a few friends that came from dates…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 05:47 PM
1

I've never kissed someone on a first date. Actually I've never even kissed someone on a second date. It's definitely not universal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 05:33 PM
1

a 4 year degree and 5 years decent career experience. Good to see opportunities for the over-25 crowd :-D
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 05:16 PM
1

The good girl type you seem to be looking for is likely to not kiss on a first date as a matter of principle. You may be turning away girls not because of their lack of attraction to you, but because of their morals and conservative upbringing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 05:03 PM
2

Not a chance. As usual, some are, some aren't. Even if the average was slightly skewed in one direction or another, there would be so many individual data points on both sides of that as to make the generalization meaningless.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 04:59 PM
1

I'm sure it wasn't about the church itself, but about the lifestyle and expectations that come with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 04:50 PM
7

If he doesn't want commitment, then he's a bad pick for an LTR- you wouldn't want to trap someone who isn't on the same page and who would resent it. If he just hasn't met the right woman yet, totally fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 04:48 PM
1

Lube is the fucking greatest, if you're not using it because it hurts your ego then you're definitely missing out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 04:43 PM
2

Role play.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/18 01:47 AM
4

That's a fair criticism, and I'm definitely coming at it from an UMC American perspective. I definitely don't think that pursuing other goals is immoral, just not what I see as the ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 06:59 AM
1

Sure. I personally don't believe in human nature. My point was the things like "Women can't be attracted to men who make less than her" get immediately dismissed by a woman madly in love with exactly that. And it's infuriating to feel invalidated when repeatedly told that you're supposed to behave or feel a certain way because of biological destiny, and you know for a fact that it doesn't apply to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 05:48 AM
1

Nobody's disagreeing with your bullet points there. Those are all good self-improvement advice, for both men and women. What people get upset about here is the vitriol towards others that tend to get thrown around, as well as enforcement of gender stereotypes as absolute truth. I think that most of the people who oppose TRP are the outliers, whose personal experiences don't match what they're being told is human nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:45 AM
1

Such pessimism.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:08 AM
1

Yeah, I'm not saying it's immoral. Just not... happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/18 12:02 AM
1

They don't seem particularly happy. I've never seen them look very in love, and there's lots of gifs of her looking away unhappily, or the one where she doesn't hold his hand. I don't know enough about her to have any opinions as a person. I'm guessing they got married for political reasons, and aren't really in a relationship per se.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 11:48 PM
1

1) I wouldn't have a problem with that being a hospital default like vaccinations. 2) I mean, I think either parent should legally have the ability to request or do it, like any other voluntary procedure. Insurance probably shouldn't cover it though. 3) The result should go to wherever other medical tests go. I'm assuming if she got the kid tested for tay-sachs, she'd get the results. This seems pretty similar. 4) Same thing, although I think one parent doing it surreptitiously is shitty. Shitty…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 09:51 PM
1

You would have made her superficially happy, but she would have been in a relationship with barriers. I know that I'm pretty radical about honesty and transparency, so my views may not apply to others, but in my experience, I'd rather know the truth than be delusionally happy. It makes me think of the philosophical problem of pleasure machines- if you could hook your consciousness up to a machine that would give you the perfect life, and everything you wanted, whether that would be better or wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 08:05 PM
1

Well, I've just outlined a bunch of ways where it could hurt me. And we deeply love each other and plan for the type of lifelong commitment as a family unit, facing the world as a team. I think if he were out sleeping with random people every weekend, or if he developed a second relationship, it would get to the point where it was unbearable. But I wouldn't blow up a marriage over a drunken mistake that he came clean about immediately, if I was generally satisfied and loved. That's what I'm tryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 07:58 PM
1

So I've actually given this one a lot of thought, and it started with deeply examining why cheating is hurtful. I've kind of broken it down into four pieces: Deception- that wall in a relationship that comes from hiding things or lying to your partner. I'll disregard this one here, since the premise is that he's forthcoming about it and not hiding it. Opportunity cost- if he's sleeping with someone else, that's time he could have been sleeping with me, and someone else is getting something that …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 06:00 PM
1

I'd think it's equally icky for someone to be with another person solely based on appearance or solely based on money.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 01:39 AM
1

I'd leave before she finished confessing That's the sort of thing that I feel creates dishonesty though. It's something that's kind of hard for me to reconcile with boundary setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 01:35 AM
1

I guess I can see that, I just know it wouldn't really work for me. Thanks for sharing your viewpoint, it was really interesting and gave me things to think about. "I'm the good guy for admitting and apologizing for doing something wrong; you're the bad guy for being hurt and not forgiving me." This attitude I can definitely see as something that would be toxic; I think that "good guys" and "bad guys" just really shouldn't exist in a relationship, and that problems should be taken on as a team i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 01:33 AM
1

That's so interesting to me. The way it is with mine is that I just always want to know, and that I'll never be mad if he's forthcoming about it. Dishonesty would be the way bigger dealbreaker for me than cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 12:49 AM
1

We think about it. We don't talk about it In my experience, it's way better when you do. Sunlight is the best disinfectant- if I can get in front of it and be even hotter or better for him, then he's not hiding desires that I'm not meeting. And in my experience, it goes something like "I saw so many hot women on the train, it made me so worked up for you". When I'm satisfying a guy's needs, other women aren't a legitimate threat- they're eye candy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/18 12:00 AM
1

I'd rather he hide it and not hurt me by letting me find out. I can't possibly imagine this mindset. How does this not build walls in your relationship? A situation where someone's afraid to bring up a topic just seems so... distant.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 11:53 PM
2

Lying isn't ok. I wrote about this a bit more in the paternity test thread, but I'm in favor of complete openness. Anything he wants to know, he can ask, and I'll tell him. I expect the same. Partners shouldn't get angry or freak out by someone bringing up a concern or thought. The best part of being in a relationship is having the nonjudgmental space to share yourself with another person. I'd gladly give a partner a paternity test if he was having anxiety. I'd be really upset if he did it behin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 11:52 PM
2

I'm so glad that Christian Grey ignores me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 11:47 PM
2

Or how tall it grows. Or how beautiful the leaves. Or its usefulness for wood. Or its fun to climb, or its support of a swing. People, and trees, can have many many metrics for success.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 04:33 PM
1

I actually think OP is a dude, but I could be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/18 08:48 AM
3

Some do. Some don't. Like some men do, and some men don't. There's a lot more individual variation on this one than a gender divide.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/18 06:21 PM
1

I suppose we just have different values and will have to agree to disagree here. I wouldn't count any experience as a failure if the people learned and grew from it, and had good times within it. A failure implies a lack of value, and I've seen many people get value from relationships that don't wind up being permanent- becoming better people, producing wonderful children, sharing great memories. I can't just completely dismiss someone's history as failed just because it doesn't last forever. Pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 09:35 PM
1

I agree, I think that most of what TRP talks about is intended for middle class and below, and doesn't tend to apply to relationships above that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 08:25 PM
1

how often are you having sex because you want it and how often are you doing it as a favor or just “going along with it”? Always because I want it, never as a favor. It's only fun if both people are enjoying it. Also, I've been the higher libido partner in every relationship I've been in, and nearly always initiate, so that could affect it as well. How often are you faking orgasms during sex? Never, that would just encourage a partner to keep doing something that's not working
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 08:22 PM
1

But... she looks miserable, and he looks happy. Doesn't quite seem like she's the one divorcing him here.
/r/MGTOW12/02/18 08:11 PM
1

That sounds insane and materialistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:41 PM
1

So a relationship can only be a success if someone dies? I don't believe that for a second. I've learned and grown as a person and had wonderful experiences with people I've dated. I don't consider any of my former relationships to be a "failure".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:39 PM
3

Is someone taking an edible before bed trashier than the suburban housewives taking Ambien every night to sleep? If so, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:26 PM
1

I don't think any of us are talking about the silicon valley executives microdosing LSD or going on ayahuasca retreats.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:24 PM
1

I don't think bloopers think most people are UMC+. But, I think that the sphere of relevance for them is. At least in my view, why do I really care what trailer trash are doing or what rules apply to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:21 PM
1

I'm 27 and have never gone to a club.The idea just doesn't appeal to me, it sounds loud, sweaty, and uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:16 PM
1

I mean, I'm a Massage Envy member and they went through a whole bunch of recent lawsuits over rampant (proven) sexual assault. I guess I'm just more risk tolerant. Also, if you're saying that 1 in 100 mentorship relationships wind up in a false rape accusation, that's severely overestimating the risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 08:08 PM
1

You find no reward in teaching and mentoring someone, helping them grow?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 08:00 PM
1

I think if you ask just about any woman whether a guy cooking for her is attractive, they'll leap out of their chair and say "YES!"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 07:59 PM
8

I think any partner, of any gender, should be doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 07:56 PM
1

I would be quicker to forgive a partner who cheated while drunk than one who made the decision sober.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/18 03:12 AM
5

Me thinking something is factually incorrect doesn't necessarily mean I'm repulsed by it. I see a lot of it as bro-science, and as bad and ineffective advice. For the most part, women of PPD are the counterexamples- breadwinners, or nonpartiers, women who don't drink, women who love chubby guys, or married their high school sweetheart. People who very clearly see that NAWALT, because it just isn't true. At least for me, I like to share my experiences, because it adds a reasoned counterpoint to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/18 02:41 AM
2

Haha yes, yes I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 08:10 PM
1

It sounds more like "finally an answer that fits my cynical narrative". People have been honest all over this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 06:27 PM
3

It would be interesting to see if this statistic holds in relationships where women are the breadwinner. In my experience, gifts have tended to scale with income of each partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 06:23 PM
1

As a STEM woman who wears none of those things, I must have missed the memo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 06:22 PM
5

It may be a subculture, but it's definitely not universal. I've never been to a dance club, had casual sex, or even seen that type of conversation where casual sex is expected. Maybe my friends are just more "live and let live".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 06:12 PM
3

Really well said. I often worry that I'm pressuring my man into doing things for me, and this really shines a light on why. Inspiring reciprocity is such an amazing way of looking at it.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/18 06:38 AM
1

Don't worry, me neither :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 08:56 PM
1

women post wall start cutting their hair shorter just in combination with their sex appeal decreasing because of aging? I always assumed that it was because hair texture stops being as good as you age- that women cut it as it becomes dry and frizzy. Me, I've had long frizzy hair for most of my life, cut it back to about between my shoulderblades once, hated the way it looked, grew it back out again, now I'm about two inches from it hitting my butt again. I plan to be the granny with the hippie w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 06:24 PM
3

This sounds a lot like the things that terrify me at night.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 03:00 AM
1

50k still seems low. Although I don't think I know anyone my age who didn't go to college, so I think my social circle's just really skewing my perception here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 07:23 AM
1

The friendzone definitely sucks, and I got stuck there too a lot in both high school and college. I didn't start dating at all until my junior year, and never had a party phase. It doesn't make me some different class of "beta" female, and definitely doesn't put me "below" the party girls in some type of hierarchy. What you need is to find your tribe; the tech startup crowd I've found myself in is extraordinarily different than the spring break crowd.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 02:12 AM
1

And I'm not saying that you have to get married personally. But there's very definitely a point to marriage that has nothing to do with kids or a house.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 01:52 AM
1

I think it's probably closer to "because ambition and intelligence are attractive", and money is just often used as a proxy for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 12:57 AM
1

Ooh, thanks! I'll be in front of a mirror helicoptering for the next day or so....
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 12:56 AM
1

You can identify as an attack helicopter, it doesn't make it real. It sounds like you have low self esteem, as well as some areas for improvement. You're not doomed from birth to be stuck in some social class that's predetermined to be used and unloved. It's defeatist, and just not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 12:54 AM
1

You may see yourself that way, but societally you won't be treated as that cohesive unit without being married.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 12:52 AM
2

I do that >.< I also hire a maid though, since I don't want to clean it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 10:48 PM
1

Ah, sorry, I'm taken!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 10:47 PM
1

You marry to do stuff like have kids, buy a house. Not necessarily. But what would be the point of the marriage for her? Love? Commitment? Sharing her life with the man who captured her heart? Going through life as a team instead of as two individuals, a cohesive unit. You sound pretty cynical here.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 06:12 PM
1

And if they have one of those jobs, they can be equally supporting a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 06:10 PM
4

It's not as good preparation for the future. Analytical rigor and solid scientific and mathematical skills carry you far in life. I enjoyed the few liberal arts electives I took as fun classes, but the value I got out of undergrad was overwhelmingly STEM.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 06:09 PM
1

I actually think you're on to something here. I spend a lot of time arguing with people on here about the fact that I'm honestly 100% ok with being the breadwinner. But, he -does- have an academic career. I'd probably be less happy dating a cashier.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 06:06 PM
1

Exactly this. I couldn't care less that I make way more than he does, because I make way more than I need to live comfortably.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 06:02 PM
1

I'm sure they exist, but I can't imagine wanting one. Why would you want to be trapped in a relationship by finances? I'll earn my own money. Also, The average 25-34 year old in the US makes $39,000. Seriously? That's -shockingly- low.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 05:58 PM
1

Most genetic gifts aren't particularly "impressive". Effort is impressive. Achievements are impressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 05:56 PM
1

Unfortunately, one side thinks the other is basically sub-human so that none of the normal rule of civil society apply. No human is subhuman. What about human rights laws that prevent people from being fired if they are a "protected class"? I'm generally against treating people as classes rather than individuals, and tend to support the right of the business to employ who they see fit. The biggest caveat I can see here is that I don't think it's ethical to allow an employer to fire someone for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 05:50 PM
1

Just literal. If you don't have feelings, you are essentially masturbating with another person's body. So is she. Neither partner in a casual sex encounter seems to care particularly about the brain or the connection. Casual sex, in that case, is utilitarian.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 05:46 PM
1

I'm neutral on the topic of feelings, no value judgment here. My comment was completely tactical about what the hypothetical person in the OP who has lots of sex with strangers would think philosophically.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 12:48 AM
1

I think both have their Emma Watsons and Lena Dunhams.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 12:47 AM
2

That's my plan for threesomes, would way rather just hire a third than scout one out.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 12:06 AM
1

Definitely talking about feelings, yes. People who care about as many sexual partners as possible care less about having feelings for them. That's my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 11:31 PM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 08:20 PM
1

No problem, I hope you feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:56 PM
1

Anything I say is going to have exceptions or caveats, and I'm coming up with the definition here on the spot, so I'm sure there are "what ifs" that I've missed. I'm also not a lawyer and can't speak to the legal implications. But it feels very, very wrong to accuse a man of sexually assaulting a woman who has a "who cares" attitude about the event. In my view, sexual assault would be intentional, unwanted behavior that pushes through a woman's resistance in a sexual way. It involves active nonc…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:56 PM
1

Subreddits more specific to those problems would probably be the right answer here. /r/depression, /r/anxiety, /r/suicidewatch. You also might find services like 7cupsoftea to be helpful, where you can talk one on one with someone who actually wants to listen. For general self improvement, you might go towards a /r/decidingtobebetter, /r/getmotivated, or /r/getdisciplined.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:46 PM
1

You're answering a different question than I'm answering. You're assigning something moral to this. The question I was essentially answering was "Why do people who want lots of casual sex use TRP" which is because that's the strategy that matches their goals. The question isn't "Is that good/natural/moral?". It's a tactical question.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:45 PM
1

Where did I attribute blame? I'm just saying that casual sex isn't the way to create love. If you're not looking for love, then that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:20 PM
1

Even if that's true, that sounds more like stockholm syndrome than love.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:18 PM
1

"Casual sex" wasn't my words here, it was in the OP as a premise- "Bloopies : Most important words are most and casual sex." The question's asking specifically why THESE people tend to adhere to a philosophy that revolves around sex instead of emotions. It seems self-evident in that case that if someone's priorities are numerous partners who they don't care about, that feelings aren't coming into the picture. Still unclear where this turns into a nature/society thing. I'm not even arguing that r…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:14 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:09 PM
1

Attraction often doesn't have a rhyme or reason. Sometimes it's unfortunate, because a person could be otherwise perfect for you but you just don't click. A lot of people want to logic their way into what they "should" be attracted to, but it just doesn't work that way. On the other hand, that means that in my personal life, I've found that blanket statements about what I'm not attracted to invariably lead to me falling for someone of exactly that type. So I can see how someone could challenge "…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:08 PM
1

Words have meanings. There's a huge difference between someone who has a regrettable or awkward sexual experience and someone who's been assaulted. I don't know about what your experience was personally, but it isn't universal. It's far from 100% of sexually active women being taken advantage of by their partners. The whole #metoo thing, the demonization of men, and the trivialization of assault is one of my biggest oppositions to the blue side of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 07:02 PM
1

I didn't say it did. I'm saying that red pill strategies don't foster it, and the people having a lot of casual sex don't care about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 06:57 PM
1

Because if you only see women as a masturbation tool, you don't really care about forging a meaningful bond to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 06:20 PM
1

Because if you only see women as a masturbation tool, you don't really care about forging a meaningful bond to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 06:17 PM
1

by some definition It sounds like you mean a definition that completely devalues the concept of assault/rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:52 PM
1

100% of sexually active women who date are sexually assaulted or date raped What? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:30 PM
6

Flirting isn't harassment. Harassment is harassment. It would equally be so with either gender. If she's repeatedly pursuing you after you've said no, she's harassing you. If she's making crude sexual comments about you that make you uncomfortable, she's harassing you. If she's touching you without your consent, she's harassing you. It's pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:25 PM
1

Doxxing's wrong. Harassment is wrong. Both sides should be civil, and know when to pick their battles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:22 PM
1

I think it works on a subset of women who are open to it, for casual encounters. I think it's bad because that's a very shallow way of looking at interpersonal interactions, and won't lead to a real connection. You'll get laid, but not loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:21 PM
2

I didn't say crime. I didn't call the cops on the guy on the streets in San Francisco who yelled "What'chu doin? Come over here and gimme that pussy", but it was definitely harassment. What's icky and what should be prosecutable are very different things. Not everything that's morally wrong needs a legal solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:19 PM
1

Exactly, the person who puts themselves out there gets both higher risk and higher potential reward.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 09:26 PM
2

But I like hippie kumbaya soyboys!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 07:41 PM
1

and still function in civilized society. Uhhhhhhhhhh
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 07:39 PM
1

it was always by women who were not attractive enough to me that I would approach them myself. Yes, the person approaching gets to punch up. If you're willing to put yourself out there, you can choose someone who wouldn't ordinarily come up to you. I'm sure you approach girls who are hot enough that they wouldn't approach you too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 07:38 PM
5

Honestly, aside from the basic self-improvement and hygeine advice, no. I like to pursue, since my feelings tend to develop slowly and I get creeped out by overt displays of sexuality from strangers. Being the one that chooses means that I get the person I want. I don't feel a need to prove myself to guys who want me to qualify. I've never accepted a cold open, given a stranger my phone number, or had casual sex. When a guy I was dating started to turn into an asshole, I left. Dread doesn't real…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 07:31 PM
1

I disagree, I think if someone said "All men are rapists", you'd see an outpouring of disagreement from everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 03:42 AM
2

So, I'm not into being sexual with people I'm not in love with, but if I was in a relationship with one of the guys and didn't have to touch the other one, sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 05:42 PM
1

Yeah, YMMV. I'm the type to often just forget to eat dinner, but I definitely hear from other women "I wish I had that problem!"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 01:18 AM
4

I think it really depends on the bra. I usually wear a pretty soft sports bra, so it's not pokey or constricting. The ones that people wear out on the town to get that Baywatch cleavage? Yeah they're not the greatest feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 01:17 AM
3

I wouldn't want to be with someone who's "testing" me, I want to be with someone who actively wants to be with me and shows me. This applied back when I was dating women too. Fuck the "I'm too cool to be with you" act.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 01:16 AM
2

I'd say women's dress clothing is often uncomfortable. The lack of pockets is annoying. But, for me it's not an issue because I'm at a job where the dress code is basically a plain dark t-shirt, nice jeans, and a hoodie. So I'm pretty comfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 01:09 AM
1

....triggered much?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 01:07 AM
1

That would be awesome, but I think I would wind up helicoptering my new dick in front of a mirror all day and would forget to report back!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 01:06 AM
1

I'm not sure if it's a gendered thing, but I virtually never feel hungry, and I don't get physical manifestations of anger/annoyance (chest tension or face heating or whatever). You could be on to something.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 12:58 AM
1

Nope, but saying that makes me think you're even more immature.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 12:55 AM
1

faggotty Wow, unnecessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/18 12:26 AM
3

I think they should still mentally thirst for each other to the point where they would want physical escalation, instead of needing to be cajoled into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 09:29 PM
1

Foreplay isn't done with an unenthusiastic partner either- both people should be excitedly kissing and escalating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 09:10 PM
1

I expect both people to be enthusiastic, or it's just not worth it. I don't want to be convinced, and I don't want to convince someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 09:02 PM
1

if I have to talk a girl into having sex with me, she's obviously not that into me and I'd rather not This! How do so many people not understand this?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 08:35 PM
1

Tried it, didn't like it. It's not gross to me, but definitely not sexy. Now, two guys? That's hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 07:14 PM
1

This goes both ways. I've definitely dated guys who expected me to read their mind- and one who would fly off the handle when I'd misread very ambiguous signals. Everyone should be more communicative in their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 07:12 PM
1

It's hella fun. The first time I gave a guy his first prostate orgasm, he hallucinated. Being in control of giving someone you love a whole new type of pleasure and feeling them quiver uncontrollably is incredible.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 05:54 PM
2

My last boyfriend had been openly gay, with me as the "exception". Didn't bother me in the slightest. Sometimes we looked at Grindr together to get him all worked up!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 05:52 PM
3

Yeah, I've been assuming when these threads happen that we're talking more Westworld than Realdoll. I'd be on board once it can talk and kiss and smile realistically.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 05:51 PM
0

I agree. Sexbots will be fantastic. VR porn is already hella fun. Combine the two? It's a party.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:15 PM
3

I'd get a maid before I let stupid household bullshit get in the way of my marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:14 PM
2

MDMA isn't the same as love. It feels great in the moment, but it's also clearly very forced. You know that you're feeling the way you do because of a drug. Legalizing MDMA would be amazing because of the clinical value in psychotherapy- it could help a lot of people with currently treatment-resistant depression and PTSD. But, at the end of the day, it's not going to replace love.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:11 PM
3

We see this every day. Get married if you want, don't if you don't want. It's risky for the higher earner and the person who wants the kids. It's worth it in other ways, to some people. You do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:07 PM
7

I'm not sure that mental illness has much at all to do with gleefully wanting someone else to suffer. That's unfortunately a pretty normal human thing- people can be shitheads without a diagnosis.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:06 PM
3

I have no problem with sexbots. I don't think it would be just for losers either. Anyone who's legitimately getting upset by it sounds pretty puritanical to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:05 PM
1

About to!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 02:40 PM
1

I'm honestly confused. I don't think my position has changed. I'm doing well, and don't care what the guy makes. I tend to date academics, who make far less than me. I make enough that his supplemental income doesn't really matter. You're the one that then claimed that a ~50k salary is "decent to well", and I agreed that sure, objectively maybe it's not broke- but it's still not relevant to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 02:40 PM
2

Somewhat higher but overwhelmed by the dramatically lowered rates when both have advanced degrees.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 06:37 AM
1

No, we aren't- the whole discussion has been around me making more than him. It doesn't matter if his pay is "decent" on an absolute value, the discussion was about how it's less than half of my salary.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 04:50 AM
1

Which pay decently to well. We weren't talking absolute numbers, but relative within the relationship. I agree, they're self sufficient, but it's hardly a lucrative field.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 03:54 AM
1

There are a lot of phenomenal jobs that don't pay very well. Academics/scientists are phenomenal partners. Who cares about money when they're furthering human knowledge? I'll take a guy in a lab coat over a suit any day. My business is doing phenomenally well, I don't need to supplement my income with a guy or whore myself out for free dinners. I have the luxury of dating without having to worry about finance.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 02:06 AM
3

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 02:01 AM
1

Works out just fine; I make plenty.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 01:32 AM
6

First guy, I like the slimmer build and the cuter face
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 12:43 AM
1

Love and companionship, chemistry, mutual interests and compatible friend circles? Great conversations? That's why I've dated the men I've dated, and none has even made half of my earnings. Money just isn't all that important once you're making enough to support yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 12:23 AM
1

I cannot imagine this ever happening Why not? I do, and a lot of my friends are in female-breadwinner relationships. It's not that uncommon anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 12:21 AM
6

I still love the effeminate pretty boys and I haven't been a teenager in a decade! Yum. edit: To answer the original question, my standards haven't really changed. I never caught the "bad boy alpha" phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/18 12:19 AM
1

Only me, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 10:46 PM
1

Sure, but you're still vetting. If you KNOW you don't want to be with someone long term, I don't see the point. You can have temporary companionship with someone who at least has potential
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 10:26 PM
2

Ah, when I heard "date", I assumed "be in a relationship with" more than "go to the movies with". Carry on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 09:16 PM
1

There are way more than those three choices, particularly if the woman earns an income. But let's get back to the point here. If I understand you correctly, you're claiming that all sex within marriage is rape because if he declines sex, she'll divorce him and take his money. So he's forced to have sex against his will under threat of bankruptcy. Do you see how many logical leaps you have to take to get there? Also, would you consider the time he fixed the garage door to be slavery, because if h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 09:16 PM
1

Why would you waste your time dating someone you knew you had no future with?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 08:36 PM
1

Ok, then consider my use of "the state" to mean "the government", because to me they're synonymous
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 08:35 PM
1

If the state doesn't exist, then clearly civil marriage doesn't exist as marriage is an institution of the state. I would disagree that his lack of sex led to the alimony payments. I would assume that the court issued them based on a ratio of his income to hers, and that if he'd slept with her it would have made no difference in the judge's ruling. Also, ambiguous negative repercussions wouldn't invalidate consent. In the same way as if I never had sex with my boyfriend, I would face the negativ…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 07:53 PM
1

So you're saying that a man is forced by the state to have sex with his wife by virtue of having married her?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 07:39 PM
3

I fucking love vulnerability. Nothing makes me feel closer to a boyfriend than him telling me something he's never told anyone else, that he's terrified of telling me for fear I'd reject it, and then the relief as I accept him fully.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 07:14 PM
2

That paragraph honestly sounds like scare marketing from a firm that wants you to pay them so that that doesn't happen to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 03:51 PM
1

You are not forced to have sex with your spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 03:02 PM
1

Wish I could, really, really wish I could.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 06:06 AM
1

Well.... free abortions sounds good.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 05:55 AM
1

Oh, sure. I absolutely think that any fetus that is not desperately wanted by the parents should be aborted. Nobody deserves a life of being resented by their own parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 05:52 AM
1

Feeding a child is way more expensive than an abortion- what makes you think that she could get the second if she couldn't get the first?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 05:48 AM
1

Yay!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 05:29 AM
1

I think we're talking in circles a bit here due to the initial misunderstanding. Do you understand now?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 05:18 AM
1

I was saying that I was referring to high school boys wanting to take a home economics class. You seem to be misunderstanding and thinking I'm talking about men staying at home or something (which is also fine, but not what I was talking about).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 05:14 AM
3

It's convenience. And, it means that you don't have a stage 5 clinger texting nonstop. I can easily see why a guy might just want to pay for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 03:23 AM
2

It's not ever ok to lie to trick someone into sex. It's also not rape. I would consider it assault to knowingly expose someone to the risk of disease or pregnancy by the man "stealthing" the condom off or the woman poking holes in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 02:43 AM
1

See, that just baffles me. I want to know everything about someone I'm with! Have you heard the story of her first kiss? Her favorite college class? The worst time she ever got in trouble with her parents? The best prank she ever pulled on a sibling? I put those right up there with wanting to know about the weirdest place he's ever had sex, or the best blowjob technique someone's tried. Talking about the story of each other's lives tends, in my experience, to lead to "And then I was 15, and I da…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/18 12:44 AM
1

So I get that you're being extreme here to prove a point, but what's the justification behind men not being able to consent to sex in marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 11:21 PM
1

I don't wear makeup at all. The last time I had any on my face was for my professional headshot, and they were putting it on everyone, male and female, because of the lighting. edit: And that was just under-eye concealer and spot removal, not like lipstick etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 10:26 PM
1

Yeah, see, I'm 27 and I'm still shocked when I see people on my facebook feed starting to have kids. I don't have any unmarried friends my age with kids (the choice mom I mentioned above was about a decade older), and the married ones I know started in grad school. It's probably regional; the tech startup world is brutal, and here in SF there are literally more dogs than kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 10:25 PM
2

I'm actually not sure. I wonder what happens in the case of unwanted babies being left at police stations or fire departments- I'd think the same rules would apply. Since I don't know how those laws go right now, I would propose that the ambiguity would stay until the child is adopted. If it's a four year old bouncing around in foster care and a parent wants it back, that seems ok, if it's in a new loving family, probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 10:20 PM
1

I think this needs a split between legal and moral definitions. Legally, it should only be prosecutable if there was a clear "no" that was pushed through. The very obvious cases where weapons or drugs were involved, strangers in bushes, blackmail, hostages, home invasions, someone passed out, self defense actions taken. The case where a person forces someone to do sexual acts that they are unwilling to do through physical or strongly coercive means (i.e. Your boss says "fuck me or I'll fire you"…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 10:06 PM
2

That still seems really offensive to assume the default scenario is that the father doesn't want to be a parent. I'd probably be ok with this in the scenario where neither parent automatically has assumed parenthood, and one or both can voluntarily claim it upon birth. Then it seems less anti-male. Women shouldn't have default custody just by virtue of being female.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:58 PM
1

I don't see your example as rape. I see it as unfortunate. My hope is that people would only have sex with someone when both people are excited about it and wanting it, and that both people would clearly communicate whether they are or aren't in that state.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:40 PM
1

I'm clearly just very dumb then. Must be my nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:38 PM
1

It's real. It's pretty icky in my opinion, but I don't see it as unethical if both sides want it. It basically seems like prostitution-lite.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:12 PM
1

Sure, no problem. I've also already incorporated VR- it's really fun to put a headset on a guy and then act out what he's seeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:11 PM
1

I think it's all really dependent on your social circle. I'm at a tech startup and don't wear makeup. So I know a lot of other women at tech startups who don't wear makeup. If you're at a club, sure, you'll see the girlier wallflowers who won't ask you out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:10 PM
1

In my experience, it always comes up. I've never been in a relationship where we didn't talk about our relationship past. I understand that some people want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend like their partner was pure as snow before them, but I think sharing stories is a very bonding experience. I've never felt disadvantaged by sharing my sexual past, and I appreciate when a guy will do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:07 PM
1

So all men like basketball, even the ones that don't like basketball? Are the ones that don't just fighting their nature?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:05 PM
1

I already see it that way, to be honest. I see divorce as the process- one of my friends recently got divorced, now she's single. Especially for someone without kids, I don't really see the distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 09:01 PM
1

That's definitely true, then, if we limit it to people who got into the situation accidentally.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:55 PM
1

So they have a propensity, therefore a nature. I disagree. More women are likely to like tall men. But that doesn't mean it's in the nature of every woman to like tall men. Men have a propensity to like basketball. AMALT?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:51 PM
1

If you say it that way, it's clear what you mean. If you say "All women only like taller men", you're just inviting all the women who don't to derail your conversation. It would be way more useful to say "Women tend to date taller men" which we can all see as true instead of trying to make it universal. If I'm dating a guy who's 5'2", and you say "All women date taller men and __", I can dismiss your whole statement because I know the first half is wrong and doesn't apply to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:49 PM
1

I'm not so sure about that. I know a "choice mom" who's pulling in >150k and just decided she wanted to do it herself with a sperm donor and a nanny. She wanted the kid, but not the effort of dating, and nobody's going to consider her low class.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:37 PM
1

You say that like marriage implies sex. /r/deadbedrooms would like a word with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:25 PM
2

That completely invalidates fathers who -want- the child. Also, would the wedlock have to be at the time of birth? What would happen if they got married after birth. Could he get rid of fatherhood by getting a divorce?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:24 PM
1

One day before birth is a c-section. Nobody is considering aborting fetuses after the point of viability- at that point, it's just birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:20 PM
1

I don't think it's as prevalent as TRP makes it seem. Some women do, some women don't. I'd venture to say that most women don't. But, TRP followers who insist that women all had a slutty phase in college and racked up double digit counts need to believe that women are lying, because hearing that most women have a pretty modest number goes against their philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:18 PM
3

That's honestly just cruel, regardless of either of their SMV/RMV
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:13 PM
2

I consider myself a feminist and I strongly believe that people should plan, together as a couple, when to have kids. I'd see deception in either direction as wrong- "forgetting" the pill, an untold vasectomy/sterility, "stealthing" a condom. It shouldn't be a power issue- nobody should have kids they resent, and nobody should be desperately hoping for a kid while their partner pretends it's a false possibility. If this is leading to an abortion debate, I think "no kids" should generally trump "…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 08:10 PM
1

Same. I had an ex message me before he got together with a new girl, saying that if I ever wanted him back, he'd instantly drop her for me. Poor girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/18 07:54 PM
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