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olivetree08 Archive

View 25 posts and 201 comments by olivetree08 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5008

NAH, SISolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 07:01 PM
150

SEEKING ADVICEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 05:36 AM
148

MOOD FOR LIFEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 03:40 AM
109

QUEEN SH*Tolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:14 AM
84

MOOD FOR LIFEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 08:33 AM
79

ROAST-A-SCROTEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:41 AM
72

ROAST-A-SCROTEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 08:34 AM
71

SCROTES MADolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:31 PM
69

NAH, SISolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:03 AM
66

DUMP HIS ASSolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 10:35 PM
64

FIELD REPORT olivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:20 PM
57

SEEKING ADVICEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:35 AM
51

DISCUSSIONolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:56 PM
50

NICE FOR WHAT?olivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 04:40 AM
43

FIELD REPORT olivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 11:16 PM
34

MALE DEPRAVITYolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 06:22 PM
30

olivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:03 AM
30

ROAST-A-SCROTEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 08:40 AM
26

SEEKING ADVICEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 06:51 PM
21

SEEKING ADVICEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 08:28 AM
18

SEEKING ADVICEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:35 AM
14

COCKHOLM SYNDROMEolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:06 PM
5

SCROTES MADolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 08:59 PM
1

Red Pill Exampleolivetree08/r/TheRedPill12/11/19 06:21 PM
0

NAH, SISolivetree08/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 07:24 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

As women we are so often socialized to be agreeable. It doesn’t matter if he thinks you “sound too crazy.” You aren’t crazy, this is weird. Another commenter here said you should ask him why he’s doing this. I don’t agree unless his answer means something to you, aka is there a response that would make sense and cause you to want to keep seeing him? Personally, I think not. So I would just tell him this is inappropriate behavior, you feel like he’s objectifying you (or whatever your ultimate con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 03:41 PM
1

Thank you, it really is so simple. I’m continually shocked at how well that practice changed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 09:21 AM
1

Yes girl. It is a long road. In the beginning I thought “how am I ever going to be different” “how will I get over my past.” The trick is to change the present, moment by moment, and let the days add up. You’ll look back and be amazed, it’s like one day you’re just healed and you wonder when it happened. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 09:20 AM
25

If you, like me, find yourself saying “it seems like he just doesn’t care sometimes” it’s because he’s ACTING like he doesn’t care and can’t communicate (low value) or he really doesn’t care. Either way, waste of time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:37 AM
12

It’s true!!! I made what felt like reasonable concessions over and over with the same man for 7 years. Now that we’ve been broken up for nearly a year I see it all so clearly, I’ve grown so much, I would do it all differently now. I agree - if it’s a struggle, rip the bandaid off and breakup. Healing is far better for your soul that having it sucked dry by a LVM. Get out now ladies! Being single and the growth within it is greater than the stress of a LVM relationship. 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:36 AM
10

Self esteem comes from esteemable acts. Exteemable acts don’t have to be awe-worthy, they can be self care, balancing your checkbook, taking a shower when depressed, calling people in your life who are vulnerable or isolated, etc the list goes on. Do the next esteemable act over and over and soon you’ll look back on the previous 30 days feeling like a better person. This helped me tremendously. Focus on doing just the next right thing, whatever is right in front of you in the moment. My self est…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:25 AM
2

I had no idea it existed either. I can’t even remember how I found it. I sure wasn’t looking for it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:46 AM
30

He seemed ok for the four weeks I considered dating him, never slept with him. FSD coming out strong! Don’t sleep with guys on the first date, see who they are first, I’m glad I waited ✌️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:05 AM
30

It’s a damn shame because he was hot as hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 04:40 AM
3

Add to that they can’t take care of their own appearance! Sure they may look ok for the first honeymoon period but then there’s a steep drop off. How many men have I dated, have you dated, that don’t even know what to wear to a wedding?! Clueless! Or can’t tie a tie? Or wear shoes until they’re falling of their feet? Just like whaaaat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:05 PM
22

My ex would drop hundreds of dollars on my musical gear and equipment every single month. On our 5+ year anniversary I got a very pretty ring, gold and stone, and later found the same artist selling her wares at a small boutique.... the ring was for $25. I couldn’t believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:29 PM
20

Yes, another way to do it is to say to yourself “what if my this man was treating my best friend like this? What would I tell her?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:32 AM
27

Next level!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 03:41 AM
1

Ohhhh! Thank you. I am in the US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 03:35 AM
5

What does only sixth form mean? I’m not on bumble
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:34 AM
11

Wow, you should write an essay. This is so very spot on. My ex for example, was a Good Guy in all of the ways you mentioned, outwardly at work, with his family, with me, a hard worker, great at home improvement, always a laugh and a smile. But when it came to communication he was avoidant. When asked “is everything ok?” The answer was always “yes.” Life was all buttoned up on the outside, we were heading toward marriage after 7 years. BUT... But I could feel things weren’t actually “fine” after …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:18 AM
16

The WORST! They really are! 🤣 glad someone else gets it. I almost didn’t post it for the same reason you said. But oh well, astrology is fun and sometimes like in this case, accurate af!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 12:46 AM
23

I love this sub. Great comments 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 12:45 AM
29

I just really don’t want that much dick in my life. One will do. I genuinely love monogamy. Not because I’m afraid of competition. I can still have all the depth and trust and freedom sleeping with one person I am committed to. And the roles of intimacy can also be fulfilled by rich friendships and family. I find freedom in monogamy. I’m naturally adventurous, a risk taker, value fun and creativity, exploration and curiosity. Being monogamous doesn’t make me square. I hope I can find a man who b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 12:42 AM
17

So funny he listed his astrological sign. He’s sooo a cancer. Hard pass 😝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 12:35 AM
8

True true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:27 PM
28

🚩 🚩 🚩 Can you see the above red flags? Because you’re ability to see GIANT RED FLAGS seems to need some work. With you sis! I’m sorry this is happening but I’m glad his shadow side is in the open now. Get his ass gone. He’s toxic and if you stay with him, one day down the line there will be a messy fallout and you’ll think “damn, I knew it all along!” Don’t waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 08:54 PM
1

EXACTLY!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 08:20 AM
23

I relate. 1)Write a list of all negative thing about him. From petty to profound, “bad taste in shoes”, “has commitment issues” “is not a good friend” “is not growth mindset oriented” “has a shitty beard” ALL OF IT! 2) call or text friends to vent 3) do not call or text him!!! 4) write an “ideal partner” list. Include all the characteristics of your ideal mate and then compare it to what this fuckboy has to offer. 5) wash your hands of him and feel proud as fuck! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 10:56 PM
5

Right? I thought it was an accident but I know it’s not because I’m booking he would have seen a drop down menu with my credit cards in my name and it would have tipped him off. He def did this knowing I would see it. How low! Why is he still starting to get my attention?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:58 PM
3

Omg 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:57 PM
3

TRUE I played into his hand but oh well, I was angry and I hope he feels like a dimwit for having done something so petty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:57 PM
13

I’m in agreement. I wish I would have slept on it, wrote here, and made a move today. Not worth it. I played into his hand... again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:55 PM
5

I knowwwwww. Regret! Abort! Next time I’ll pause, sleep on it, and NOT do that. I think I played into his hand 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:54 PM
99

He’s like “what happened?” And meanwhile let’s hope she’s talked to her friends and she’s planning to dump him. I can’t believe this is real!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:40 AM
3

She says “how can I make him understand that is family is ruining our relationship?” When HE is the one ruining the relationship - not the mother, despite her problematic spending. He lied and hid things from you. That’s the problem. That’s what needs to be solved. This isn’t about money it’s about trust. It is surprising to me that coming from money she didn’t think it was a bad idea to use his savings for their joint funds. I would never do that! Part of the celebration of a long term relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:25 PM
9

She says “how can I make him understand that is family is ruining our relationship?” When HE is the one ruining the relationship - not the mother, despite her problematic spending. He lied and hid things from you. That’s the problem. That’s what needs to be solved. This isn’t about money it’s about trust. It is surprising to me that coming from money she didn’t think it was a bad idea to use his savings for their joint funds. I would never do that! Part of the celebration of a long term relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:25 PM
11

Thanks. I felt to bad at the time.. hr acted like I was burden because some months I couldn’t pay my half of the utilities. Looking back... it all seems so ridiculous. I wish I would have told my friends what was going on at the time. I only admitted to it after we broke up and they brought me to my senses. Thanks, the validation helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 12:47 AM
26

I came to this subreddit on the heels of a horrendous breakup with my fiancé of 8 years. This subreddit saved me a lot of pain and confusion. I had been going over and over in my head “why did the relationship end like that? Why couldn’t he commit?” And this subreddit answered those questions. I got angry and determined to never to waste my time training-up a LVM. This subreddit sparred me a lot of anguish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 09:29 PM
33

I realized it 7 years into a relationship when we bought a house together and he expected me to pay 50/50 the mortgage (in his name) while he made $75k and I was broke in grad school. So I paid with my student loans. When we broke up he said I owed him $800 for the past months rent. I didn’t pay that. I am still paying my student loans that helped pay his mortgage. So yeah. That’s where going deutch led me. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 09:25 PM
13

This has me cracking up because I can just picture the face of a man who is truly clueless about what is being asked “is this a trick question?” Shouldn’t be, honey!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:34 AM
45

Omg that guy. He’s real. He’s many. Smdh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:16 AM
26

The look just screams “I will mansplain indie music and motorcycles to you alllll night.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 07:58 AM
22

tRUe LoVe 😆 ewwwwwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 10:12 PM
33

Are we sure this isn’t my recent ex?? This is so something he would do. I saw pics of him on OK Cupid, all photos I took of him 5-7 years ago when he was thinner. He listed himself as “fit” body type but he’s actually clinically obese although carries it well, built like a linebacker but still, he’s obviously 60 lbs overweight in real life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:09 PM
10

That comment is on point tho. Way to sum it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:42 AM
2

Yay I always hope people will take a listen because I found it so encouraging, like a good pep talk, with concrete suggestions. I’m happy you like it! You deserve to be happy and love yourself :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:49 PM
35

“I don’t know what to do.” I do. Throw all his shit on the lawn, kick his ass out, and don’t look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 02:20 AM
20

Um I am in love with you. You’re my new hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 01:05 AM
9

Help Me Be Me podcast!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 11:41 PM
15

Projection! He sounds lonely as all hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:49 AM
10

And he did it the week of Valentine’s Day last year. It’s been a helluva year. Fuck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:40 AM
48

As a woman in her mid-30s this is the advice I would give my 22 year old self if I could go back in time. If there are any doubts, any unhappiness, any confusion let the man go. Soooo many men will come in and out of your life and “the one” is likely not the first few relationships. Also, most of the long term or married couples I know who met in their early 20s are now broken up or divorced, all by their 30s. Something about it. Just wait! Hold out! Have a good time and prioritize yourself, you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 10:16 AM
3

Whaaaaat wow I had no idea :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 10:04 AM
2

Yes! And he just seems like the most genuine person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 10:04 AM
7

Jason Mamoa! And maybe weirder but Steve Martin is my dream man Edit: I had Jim Carey but I guess there’s word he’s no good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 09:02 AM
80

7-8 years relationship, now broken up. I Stayed with a man who kept putting off marriage until we were more “stable” in his words, in our careers etc. mind you we were stable in my opinion! Had money for vacations, bought a house... I didn’t understand his excuses but he maintained there wasn’t any other “real” reason, I was “the one” he just “wasn’t ready.”. When j put my foot down and we agreed to marry the following year (our 8th year together) he broke up with me during that year! He said he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:02 AM
26

Only four dates, you don’t owe him some big explanation. It sounds like he’s not a good fit based on what you want so I think a simple “Thanks for the time we spent together. I’ve decided not to pursue a relationship with, just not a good fit. Wish you the best.” And then don’t engage, just block and delete. I recommend prioritizing your time. The quicker you send the message and exit the more time you’ll have to devote to yourself and future dates!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 01:06 AM
16

I believe being a high value woman includes not putting down other woman. Your response is mean spirited and not at all helpful to discussion. No one is saying we shouldn’t be diligent in honing our radar for manipulation and holding firm boundaries and standards. I think holding higher standards means also holding ourselves accountable to our own ideals, so we grow in our emotional intelligence and maturity for our own sake to be good humans. Truth be told, there are HVM out there who will cry …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 03:42 AM
10

Rat men! Love it 🐀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 11:02 PM
0

Got it. Agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:59 PM
-12

I can’t read this because the grammar is so bad. I legit have no idea what this woman is trying to say. Anyone, anyone help me out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:43 PM
45

Edit: I’m not a pick me. I’m a trained therapist. This is not true and absolutely harmful. I think of my brother who has gone through pain, specifically the same trauma we grew up with. When he cries I want his girlfriend to be there for him. They have a healthy relationship and quite frankly it wouldn’t be healthy if she didn’t love on him when he is hurting. He does the same for her. My ex deserved to cry and have it normalized when his family members died, when we fought and he regretted it. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:29 PM
33

Amen, sister. I remember a guy I was dating say to me “you’re such a cool person but we have to do something about your clothes.” I was a very nice dressed person but we both worked at an art school and he thought I wasn’t dressed artsy/edgy enough. He was 32 and I 22 at the time. I felt so insecure, he made me feel “uncool” in a very cool-kid environment and I knew it was wrong. I would have a different response for him now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 06:43 PM
19

Grooaaaaan! The shaking of your hand is such a douchebag move. What an embarrassment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 06:40 PM
189

“What kind of music do you like?” I get ready to answer and begin to open my mouth “Nevermind, I don’t know why I ask women what they like. They know nothing about music.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 08:04 AM
15

I hear you. I had explored by bisexuality, was questioning, I’m 90% heterosexual but I wish I was attracted to women more. The conversations and prospects I had with women was 120% better and more hopeful. Wildly different! Very transparent, positive communication and desire to go on an actual date. I wish I was more interested in women! Would be a whole different world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:41 AM
22

It’s built to be shallow. See a face, swipe swipe! And even the men who seen like high value message “hi”..... 😂 just a waste of my time! I’m thinking of joining some meet up groups hiking, going to music shows with friends etc. I feel like it I widen my network of friends I will have a better chance of running into a man who is great. That’s the hope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:25 AM
2

So hard but congratulations. You now have all that time and space for your own growth! He will have to do his own work. Way to go sis. Not easy! How you holding up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 04:44 AM
57

I needed to hear this. Perfect timing thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 08:16 AM
40

It’s taking everything for me not to post this on my social media for my ex to see. We were together ages 27-36 he put off talk about marriage further into the future, year after year, until pressed this time last year. It was a long drawn out breakup. He left me. At 36. I’m single. No marriage, no kids, didn’t own “our” home together, he did. I put my relationship goals on hold waiting for him and now??? So I’m basically starting from scratch. ANGRY at him and sad at myself for not finding FDS …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 08:47 AM
3

Cat power and Lena del ray “woman.” Wanderer is a great cat power album for empowerment 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 12:08 AM
7

Self esteem boosts!!!! Motivational coaching!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 11:58 PM
8

I had the worst most narcissistic sexist boss I worked under for 2 years. I’ll never forget the job interview. The panel interview went great but the 1:1 interview with him was OFF I couldn’t put my finger on it but I went home thinking it was a bad idea to accept the job. Everything about the job seemed great except for him. My work life was hell those two years. Listen to your intuition, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 07:38 AM
3

This is my ex! I lowered my standards for him and he left me high and dry and thinks he can date women who look like me and who are as successful as me. He’s a late 30s pizza general manager, sort of google unattractive face and overweight - but I honestly loved his personality, I still do. He dumped me, I built him up and showed him how to be emotionally mature, all of those things and now he wants “better.” Good luck. Women in their 30s aren’t gonna lower their standards like I did when we fir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:55 PM
24

Is he depressed? My ex boyfriend went thru a period like this and finally when I told him it was affecting my attractive to him and my interest in sex he started showering everyday. Turns out he was in a funk and depressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:27 PM
29

Eye roll! He took that conversation for a ride, derailed it completely. What a fool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 07:34 PM
4

And he’s 37
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 03:40 AM
5

This wasn’t on a dating app, just text. We know each other IRL. Just before I got this text I had texted my male friend who knows him, asking him what Brit is like. “I’m gonna call you in 5” was his response and boyyyy did I get the full picture! Then this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 07:32 PM
7

Thank you. You know what went through my mind before I sent this? “Take no shit from men.” I learned that on this sub 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:48 PM
11

Totally! Like he’s trying to make me jealous? Fool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:47 PM
13

Thank you! I felt I had to say “I don’t wanna argue about it” because you know he was argue about it 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:47 PM
11

I love that his stupid red pill philosophy is unraveling at the seams. You can practically hear the steam coming out of his ears It’s just amazing. I love this strong woman whoever she is. And her mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 09:02 AM
5

Amen sister
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:49 AM
21

I’m impressed y’all looked into his post history! Reaaallllyy paints the big picture 👀 what a dick!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:36 AM
57

One of the biggest myths is that men’s sperm is good forever. It’s not. The older a man is the more likelihood of the child having disabilities or delays. It’s been researched. They’re playing with fire and they don’t even know it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:34 AM
44

I also roasted. What a dick! “As a 36 year old woman (no kids) I find this insulting. You are insulting. Get over yourself. You’re not as much of a catch as you think you are with this kind of judgmental character! I would date a man in his 40s who is a mature adult, spiritual, and down to earth. You sound like you need to do more personal work to become a better person. I feel bad for this wonderful woman who deserves a man who doesn’t get on Reddit looking for confirmation bias as an excuse to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:25 AM
44

I’m very pc 🙄 “especially here” what does that even mean 😂 we are in Portland Oregon but still. So weird to say that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 06:32 AM
49

Aka this guy gets blocked a lot 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 08:58 AM
6

Ha point very much taken
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 12:46 AM
0

Can we be nice here? Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 12:45 AM
8

Best reply here thank you so much. This is very helpful. I know I’m getting some dopamine - I want him to want me back. But that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Our stuff was really codependent and he left me when I needed him most. I’m grieving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 10:15 PM
12

👍 I see what you did there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 07:42 AM
22

I think I need to do some more inner work because it made me happy to see he wants me back?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 07:41 AM
23

Wow that sub is helpful thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 06:40 AM
12

Out of curiosity, what are you personal rules around social media and why? Specifically with sharing vulnerable stuff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 06:39 AM
-26

My values include posting vulnerable things on social media. So that I’ll keep. But we were family for so long, I just didn’t want to block him. Our lives are intertwined with friends, nieces and nephews. I can’t imagine blocking him, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 06:31 AM
17

I think it depends on the field one works in too. I’ve met some great successful creative designer types, and directors of non profits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 05:34 AM
23

First, disregard the teacher who told you that. How old are you? Whether in high school or college I can tell you, as a mental health therapist myself, no one is “not bright enough” to become a mental health nurse. Being generous here, maybe she meant you’re not great at hard sciences (nursing) but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be great in social work or other healthcare fields! So I recommend pursuing your passion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 05:33 AM
64

My friends and I talk about how our nagging with past long term partners looked like “please try therapy, please try self help books, please deepen your spirituality, do soul work, be more present...” etc and how we now are like maybe we should just pick men with these interests and values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 07:32 PM
48

This is all legit insane 😝 but the part that killed me was “don’t do dates... rendezvous and drinks only.” Like go to hell man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 03:33 AM
5

That’s true. In real life I get less attention, generally, I think because I’m overweight (working on that). But I’ve noticed if I’m public speaking men will come up afterwards more and give me their numbers, ask me out. So I guess when I put on the shine the weight doesn’t matter anymore. I hear you about the age thing. Dating sites give me anxiety in that department! I like your attitude about getting attention from real life men as being a trusty marker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:35 PM
3

And them just wanting sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:32 PM
6

Yes this is my fear
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:32 PM
3

Love this, thank you for the insight
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:32 PM
7

Thank you so much - I couldn’t have expected such an excellent reply! I’m happy every other woman on here gets to read this too. This gives me a lot more confidence. I do know my personality, interests are attractive. I’m gregarious, intelligent, humorous and a great public speaker, I always draw a crowd. I should think about attractiveness this way. Like I had completely forgotten about magnetism and maybe I’ve got some of that. That I feel more confident in. When I start staring at my face and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:31 PM
1

Report back! It’s excellent :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:24 PM
26

I learned so much on attachment theory. Highly recommend the book Attached. Concrete quizzes and strategies for becoming a secure attacher. Also great chapter on avoidant partners and why not to date them because they rarely ever change - aka red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 08:20 AM
2

Right?! It just dawned on me to share it when someone mentioned they can’t afford therapy. Nothing beats formal therapy, but this podcast is certainly better than even some therapists! Whenever I feel like trash I turn to it. Always helps in a deep and concrete way. Do you have a favorite episode that helped the most???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 11:13 PM
5

Help Me Be Me podcast is full of great suggestions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 04:05 AM
2

A few of my favorites from Help Me Be Me: Episode 105 inner worthiness, episode 110 owning your power, includes helpful exercises
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 11:52 PM
2

Therapy is expensive. A free podcast I love is Help Me Be Me, http://www.yaywithme.com/helpmebeme
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 11:48 PM
12

Me too sis! Therapy therapy therapy! Self with takes time. But start telling yourself your worth it. You are. Self esteem comes from esteemable acts - work on you! Xoxo And For now, make a list, heck ask us for help making one, of an Ideal Partner list. Pay attention to the absolute top five values (not attributes) and stick to it! Also pay attention to your top 5 absolute no no’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 06:02 AM
3

I think so too- because we also don’t know if she has suspicions for other reasons, maybe he is dicey is other areas, this will help her figure it out. And maybe it’s nothing and they live happily ever after :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 03:46 AM
3

Thanks. You’re right, I wouldn’t have left him with nothing that’s for certain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 02:29 AM
4

Thanks so much. Saddens me too, and my friends are so mad at him. It’s not a common law state but I could still look into it. Funny I had really internalized that I just got taken for a ride and it was all in my head, my fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 02:22 AM
59

My ex of 7 yrs was unexceptional in looks an talent and most things but more arrogant than this guy and my friends for years, the men too, were like whyyy and only now that he dumped me (catch that!) am I like ohhhh I see what they meant. I treated him like a king so I guess he’s acting like one. He’s gonna find out the hard way he ain’t got what a high value women wants in a 36 year old man. This was sooooo on point and funny! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 09:03 PM
17

When my ex cheated on me I wrote the woman on Facebook and said “I don’t know what he told you, but he’s not single. We’re separated and working things out. Well actually, now we’re really separated. Just want you to know this, he’s not an honest guy.” Write her. She deserves to know. Poor woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 07:16 AM
4

Psh robe honest I’ve never asked. In my mind I was paying rent? Yuck that doesn’t feel right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:54 AM
1

Nailed it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:54 AM
23

Oh boy I think I about them on a weekly basis... just might. He also kept our car because he bought it even though I was on the title and we shared it. It was our car. Basically our whole life was “married” and when we broke up it was a “divorce” but because it wasn’t a marriage I walked away with $3,000 in my account of my personal savings and that was it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 04:04 AM
18

Yes, half the mortgage payment so roughly $17,000. When we were going through the mortgage process we both decided we would have the mortgage in his name because his interest rate alone was way better than ours together (I have grad school debt.) that decision is why I don’t have a house. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 02:54 AM
48

I would be honored. The more I purge it the more I heal. Brb crying now realizing my story could help others. That’s a silver lining. Thanks for asking, I will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 02:52 AM
8

So I legit like going for tacos. Low key... should I step that up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 10:54 PM
6

What witchcraft is this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 10:40 PM
121

Spent age 27-35 with a guy who didn’t put a ring on it... and I waited. He was a workaholic and really distant... All those years I educated him on emotional availability, literally having him read the book “attached” to look at his commitment phobia. Over the years my mantra was “he just doesn’t know better, he was socialized male, he had a crap childhood, I’ll help him heal...” SOCIAL WORK INTERN Looking back, I wish I would have walked away the first year he said “I don’t know if I want to ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 10:01 PM
2

Good advice, thank you! On an FDS note, I can attest that a lot of men who get sober and work the steps are high value - driven, successful, self reliant, and wait for it - emotionally intelligent! I just wanna put that out there. Also a lot of losers in the recovery scene (as evidenced in my post.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 04:14 AM
1

Oh god I just watched that. How awful for you to watch your friend get stuck in that rut. They can be so perfectly manipulative. I dated a total loser janitor once but he was a pretty well known writer in a major city so he had this quality and charisma that drew me in. We lived off my career and he became an absolute emotional abuser. The day it turned physical, literally that day, I got a new apartment and left in the middle of the night. He even wanted me to pay three months on our apartment …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 04:12 AM
1

Oh jeez 😬 I’ll make sure I’m prepared, thanks for the warning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 04:05 AM
46

Oh wow that sounds like a book I need to pick up synopsis for anyone interested: “ They propose that women's current psychology is actually a psychology of women under conditions of captivity - that is, under conditions of terror caused by male violence against women. Therefore, women's responses to men, and to male violence, resemble hostages' responses to captors. Loving to Survive proposes that, like hostages who work to placate their captors lest they kill them, women work to please men, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:58 AM
5

Second this for sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:52 AM
1

Right? It’s crazy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:49 AM
2

Thank you so much! Back at you leveling up in whatever area you are 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:49 AM
1

Aw, thanks. I’m definitely putting in a lot of hard work in recovery and consider not being employed by choice a huge privilege. It’s all gonna come together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:48 AM
1

Wow that is so true. Very wise, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:46 AM
1

Even so, if he’s got a passion project, volunteers for causes, etc he could still be a catch just working his way up. I think it really depends on the man... hoping he’s one of those ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:45 AM
15

Thanks! #1 most important thing for a high value life to come 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 05:08 AM
6

HahahA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 05:08 AM
25

Congrats on your accomplishment! I have a masters and feel the same way. I tried to also explain that’s not just about money - it’s passion, profession, driven to achieve... all lost of deaf ears. When I was in grad school I met some amazing MSW social work men and I would date the heck out of them! Salary isn’t #1 but they looove to act like it is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 05:07 AM
2

Update: one of the guys referred to me as entitled as we were leaving the shift. He’s a huge dude so I did not engage. I’m so mad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:13 PM
21

Block him. If he wants to apologize in person he certainly knows how to find you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 05:35 AM
7

But penguins are kinda chubby soooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 06:58 AM
3

Yes this is ridiculous, a simple “I have plans Saturday but I’d love to take you out Sunday” would be the way to go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 09:35 AM
3

My profile explicitly says I’m sober and to not invite me out for drinks. I get invited for drinks constantly. Weeds out the non-reader weirdos, pathetic. They’ll take anyone who replies to them apparently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 07:48 AM
11

I don’t know about this or agree with this personally. I am objectively cute and I’m 36. I’ll have a cherubic baby face for life. All men call me cute, some beautiful, and I’ve noticed women are more likely to call me beautiful than cute. I dunno. Anyone else relate?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 07:42 AM
29

Go to the police. This guy is disturbed. He has probably done this to other women or will in the future. This is not consensual sex. Even if the police can’t or won’t do anything his name will be on file for this kind of behavior so if something happens in the future, there’s a record. Same goes for your protection. You want this on the record in a way he doesn’t know about if possible, because he does sound scary. A nightmare. A user and abuser. I’m sorry this happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 04:57 AM
30

As a whole class, generalization, they make zero attempt at self growth and emotional availability. No matter how many times they hear women asking them to make an effort it change. I have no time for it anymore! But then when I try to date “woke” men who taut their work in therapy, their feminism, it turns out they still talk over me and interrupt and mansplain their wokeness. Or they are poly. On a dating app a guy who looked good on paper messaged me be believes in “relationship anarchy.” I’m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:36 PM
7

That being said, this guys profile and pictures were great! He came across as a very woke, emotionally mature man with a good head on his shoulders and a good career. Unlock the chatting oh, that progressive wokeness comes with poly and apparently anarchy 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:43 AM
4

To be clear - I swipe when I see “they sent you a message” I read the message out of curiosity and I unmatch. Call it entertainment. I’m obviously not sharing the actually nice guys I meet and chat with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:41 AM
27

Oh sister I’m in similar shoes (36F). I got sober (now six months!) after an entire adult life of drinking. My fiancé of 8 years left me high and dry without a house or car, and I was in grad school at the time so no job or income of my own. We broke up 8 months ago. I felt fat, unattractive, like I’d never date again, who would want to date an old fat woman. Well, those are all lies and symptoms of low self esteem (and the pain of rejection a breakup can bring, so don’t beat yourself up, it’s n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 12:45 AM
10

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 12:36 AM
27

Right? Trying to be all philosophical and intellectual
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 12:01 AM
2

Yeeessss!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 11:16 PM
7

OKCupid... or rather O
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 09:50 PM
6

Hi! Wow dating here is funny huh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 09:50 PM
9

True religion jeans 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 09:48 PM
26

But but... his VITALITY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 11:36 AM
21

When I was cropping the pic I thought I’d leave that in 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 09:31 AM
3

Yessss exactly. It’s a low key (but high key detected my high value women) suggestion to us that really means “I know better than you do, you need to play by my rules.” Not getting sucked into that black hole! It’s like the opposite of relaxed. Dudes a control freak, ironically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 08:38 AM
4

“Give me free sex”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 09:47 PM
4

Ha leave it to LVM men to tell you who you should like and how you should be. “Be chill, fuck me!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 09:46 PM
49

My ex fiancé looked at tons of porn daily (maybe 30 open tabs on the browser daily?) all from one site “kind girls” which is photos of young thing white women (at least that’s what he was looking at.) I’m an average curvy 36 year old woman and look nothing like them. We didn’t have sec for six months before we broke up because he said he just wasn’t feeling sexual at all. I didn’t know there was a term for this. Sounds like pornsickness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 03:06 AM
23

I’m hoping his ex girlfriend actually wrote this to roast him 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:02 AM
5

That’s none of his business! End of convo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 06:32 AM
11

I once sent my ex that app that teaches you cunnilingus. Did he download it? Of course he didn’t. Ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 06:29 AM
4

and techie bro dude at a company party in the photo booth wearing big sunglasses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:56 AM
1

Omg I’m dying, spot on sister
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:54 AM
2

General woman’s profile: 1) Job, interests, hobbies, pets Funny anecdotes about said pets 2) Values listed!!! Like communication, honesty, authenticity... those come up frequently. So yeah, it’s just much more heartening to read women’s profiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:54 AM
3

This is so accurate to my experience I’m just dying laughing. Thank you 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:42 AM
7

I’m 36 and shit like that just makes me hate all men, as a class. Jerks, petty, self centered, No integrity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:18 AM
9

Yep, as they say “when someone tells you who they are, believe them.” Also as they say “he’s just not that into you.” Don’t fight to win him over. Bye bye to that dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 02:36 AM
21

You’re kidding right? There aren’t two options, only one: CONFRONT and LEAVE. He didn’t lie to you, he’s been lying to you. You don’t deserve this. Full stop. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 02:35 AM
12

There’s a woman at the place I volunteer at who is just like this and hates women, IMO. Every time I ask a question she ignores me at least twice before I have to assert myself for real. Total internalized misogyny! She’s not like this with any of the men in our crew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 05:39 PM
2

Best advice ever. I’m single now, after two fairly emotionally abusive relationship. I’m taking the time to dig deep in therapy right now to build authentic self esteem. Thanks for this advice, it’s great motivation to keep going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:22 PM
2

Oh got it, so total dicks 😝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 05:28 PM
3

Found this - it’s all here YIKES! https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Manosphere_glossary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 12:25 AM
2

This. Thank you! You just helped me put my head back on straight
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 12:13 AM
7

That is true! Excellent thank you. And your English is great, I wouldn’t have known your ESL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:59 PM
4

Thank you. Dating is definitely on the back burner but I like to be prepared. Thank you so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:58 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/dc4bep/the_truth_about_the_wall/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:39 PM
1

Ha! I don’t want it to be. I just got scared. Yes, I take care of myself and I loathe western beauty standards and agism. I’m someone who also doesn’t wear makeup but I do take care of my appearance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:36 PM
9

Oh lord, thank you! I could use some humor. We broke up in February (he went on a date aka cheated but didn’t sleep with someone on Valentine’s Day! And guess what? She was 30)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:35 PM
16

Question ladies: what’s your radar, your redpill detector?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 06:38 PM
3

Seratonin is created in the guy system. Doesn’t surprise me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 06:07 PM
28

Yep. I was in a 7-8 year long relationship until recently. He said we would “get married next summer” for three summers. Should have bounced earlier. Wasted my late 20s-early 30s. Not ok. Won’t do again, ever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 06:01 PM
3

Old person here! What’s a dang moid?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 08:34 AM
3

Also - totally underrated- try practical mindfulness or meditation before the date (and ideally once every day if you can, to get in a routine.) it will help tremendously. There are lots of 5-20minute free guided meditations of apps like Insight Timer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 08:26 AM
4

I’m a non drinker, sober, 6 months. I feel your pain! I’m not in a place to be dating yet, but I can see how awkward it may feel. I suggest going on dates for coffee and a trip to the museum, movies, parks. Dating sober means a) the guy likes you enough and is confident enough to not need booze and b) you’ll get to know the real him and he the real you. Very positive!!! Also, I can tell you that many men who’ve worked the steps in aa are much more mature, emotionally and otherwise, than many wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 08:23 AM
42

As a woman who is in her early 30s, having been 28 not long ago, I can tell you that women his own age think it’s gross he’s dating someone your age. Even if you lived on your own. He would be seen as a loser and honestly, kind of a dumb predator. Women his own age are plenty, and beautiful, and talented and have their own lives and careers. Why isn’t he dating someone his own age? At 28 most people are looking for someone to fall in love with and are ready to possibly get married. He’s acting i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 08:05 AM
14

Ruuuunnnn away. Goodbye to that dude. No way. That’s abusive. Straight up. No person should talk to you like that. Ever. If he doesn’t take you seriously about stopping give him the boot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 06:16 AM
2

Haha yay you for escaping! Ben Shapiro is an idiot. Also any joe Rogan dudes. Just nooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 11:59 PM
5

If I could have a date where we talked Zizek I’d be a happy camper 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 04:15 AM
1

What’s a situationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 01:22 AM
15

Me: sitting on a park bench. Him: Look at your fine ass me. Me: don’t talk to me that way Him: fuck you I was just being nice! You’re a dog anyway! ......This on repeat my whole adult female life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 01:20 AM
20

Aaaand on he opposite side of the bell curve we have faux philosopher types, high on ego and superiority with low IQs quoting Jordan Peterson, Bitcoin, wannabe-Mr.Robot etc. In the middle there are good, interesting, quality men. We’ve all met a few. I got my graduate degree is social work and these men are amazing. Altruistic, many have first degrees in liberal arts, creative, or education. They’ve done their homework on emotions, vulnerability, deconstructing the harmful learned behaviors of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:53 AM
19

💯 patriarchy is oppressive, we are treated as inferior, socialized to be “less than” and you know what that makes? Resilient warriors with talents and humor, exceptional (because we have to be) in work and play. Love my women!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:47 AM
13

Hahaha dying over here. Are we dating the same men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:43 AM
15

No kidding. But I’d say the same is true for a whole lot of woman out there too. I think it’s 50/50. My brother and I were just talking about this. He’s an amazing multidimensional person with varied interests and high intelligence and humor. I seek out the same in the people I surround myself with. Many women I know have multiple interests and we can go from topic to topic learning from each other and getting a kick out of how amazing life is. And then I get in the dating scene and it’s like 9.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:41 AM
1

Wow. Fuck society. That is so weird
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:34 AM
15

Also he did this for THREE YRS hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:05 AM
14

“It didn’t work for me” no kidding, dipshit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 12:04 AM
5

I have no idea what this means
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 08:26 AM
6

I’d give your guy a second date or phone call to get more clarity. Tell him you know what you want, doesn’t mean that’s him, but that you aren’t looking for anything casual and if he’s not ready to settle down with the right woman you need to keep looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 05:36 AM
3

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 05:35 AM
16

At this point if a guy says “I don’t know what I’m looking for right now, nothing serious, but if it turns into something else great.” I consider that a yellow flag. He doesn’t know what he wants or he does and he’s playing games by saying he doesn’t. I want a man who says I’m looking for a long term committed relationship with the right woman.” Me too! It doesn’t have to be you, but at least I know I won’t end up with a commitment phone / avoidant attachment style.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 05:34 AM
1

MUSICIANS and WRITERS I know from experience. Never again. I’m planning on finding an ornithologist 😆 but true! Some sweet biology or ecology man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 06:04 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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