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p71interceptor Archive

View 3 posts and 76 comments by p71interceptor on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Solid list brotha. You got this OP. You'll be reeling for months maybe years but youll bounce back. Take it from a guy who was in your shoes 2 years ago. You'll be a different man once its all said and done. And the good news is you have a say in who that man is.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 07:53 PM
1

Whats been the hold up with your mediators?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 07:47 PM
1

I thought of my Grandfather on my mom side. He was married 3 times. His wives all died from natural causes but he kept on loving and taking care of his family. He didn't shrink away but just accepted his circumstances and moved forward. I've done the same. I'm 1.5 years like you and I've found a new woman (she shares the same name as my ex lol). I keep in mind that everyday is blessing and thank God for what I do have.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 03:48 PM
6

Don't settle for anything less than 50/50 bud. It might take time and money to get there but don't give up. Way to many broken girls out here because they never got the love from their fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 10:22 PM
2

Yeah but they wouldn't be the same kids without them, right? It's a crazy situation. You can imagine different circumstances different woman/marriage etc but you if you really had the choice or power would you give up your kids to be with the "right" one and live that life instead? I find myself consistently saying no to that. I would run it just the same to meet my daughters even under these circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 03:06 AM
3

You just keep digging brother. I'm over 200k in debt with my ex. I'm trying to save this house and I'm willing to do everything in my power to keep it for myself and my girls (4 and 2). I'm in So Cal, those guys that stayed behind to save their homes during the fire last week, despite everyone telling them to leave, have my upmost respect. Sell everything you don't need. Tighten the belt. Keep moving.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 11:04 PM
4

I was sleeping on the couch until my therapist gave it to me straight. The martial bedroom is meant for people who want to be married. She only made it one day on the couch before she moved out to her parents place.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 10:48 PM
2

Mine told me she cried on our honeymoon and should have known then. If it weren't for the two beautiful daughters she helped me bring into this world I don't know what I would do.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 10:46 PM
2

Can confirm lol. I had over 20 matches waiting in the wings before I found my gf and concentrated on her. Sorry you're going through this OP. My story is similar and I'm about 1 year since the bomb drop. At first it felt like I was drowning. Now it feels like I'm running free.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 10:45 PM
1

I'll second this sentiment. TikTok fed my ex ENM and Late Stage Lesbian content. She changed a few weeks after TikTok got installed on her phone.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 09:10 PM
5

I have a 4 and 2 year old brother. My heat aches for them but they keep me going. Hold the line and be the rock in their lives. I've had to lean on a few friends and my extended family. You are right this shit is not easy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 04:55 PM
13

I get that you want her to be happy for your kids sake. I feel the same way too about my ex. But it's one thing to wish that and it's another to take upon yourself. She should reach out to her support group instead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:43 PM
1

That's a good question. I don't want my ex to suffer. If she suffers my children suffer. That said it's just a fact that if it weren't for my in-laws my ex would be feeling the totality of her decisions. Some may have differing opinions, but when it comes to divorce no one really wins. If you have kids you are giving up time with them. If you have assets, you are splitting them. I suppose if one party is completely toxic, abusive etc then you could say you are better off in the end. In my case I…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 09:24 PM
1

I sometimes wonder if my ex has yet to face real accountability since she moved in with her parents and they help her with our two little girls. In a way they have enabled her to start this new life. At the same time I do like that they are there for her to help her with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:29 PM
2

I'd be interested to know the bullet points of what you didn't do or needed to work on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:46 PM
2

haha yeah that was the same for me bud. But I knew I didn't want to be a bitter lone wolf divorced dad. Then I remembered that my grandpa had 3 wives and a girlfriend. I figured if he could get back on the horse I had it in me to do the same. You just need to take your own time and recover bud. Do what makes you happy. When you least expect life may surprise you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 03:33 PM
1

It's hard but try to stay in the present when you are with your kids. It keeps you from dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. We had a great time at the fair. Girls ate nachos and split a big ice cream bar. Came home with a bunch of cheap stuffed prizes. Great day overall. Tomorrow they go with their mom to their aunties (my ex sister in law) wedding. I'm invited but I'm heading to the movies with the girlfriend and off to the dog beach with our pups after instead. God bless you an…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:10 AM
2

Similar story here brother. 37M my ex is 32. Married for 6 but we were together for 12 years. Bought a house and had two little girls. Now I'm 6.5 months separated. She went off to go explore her "true self" aka become a lesbian. I'm taking my 4 and 2 year old to the fair in a few hours. Yesterday I had them in the pool and hung out all day in the backyard. Your entire 2nd paragraph reverberates with my experience. I feel that I lost her to some TikTok advanced algorithm and she was too weak to …
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:44 PM
3

Good luck on your date bud. Be open and honest with these new women. Some will turn tail and run if they catch wind that you are not fully over your ex or the loss of your marriage and that's totally ok. But some may appreciate the honesty. Either way, focus on yourself and be honest about what you want these next couple of months. If you are still bleeding from your divorce the last thing you want to do is bleed on a girl you really like. That will set you back emotionally if it doesn't work ou…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:23 PM
2

Exactly! My hat's off to you if you are dating single moms. I can't do it. I'm sure there's some lovely ladies out there that were on the other side of this but I'm sure they are on the minority side. My mortgage broker and I spoke right when the separation happened. I was asking her to find a way for me to keep the house. In the end there was nothing I could do to keep my rate but luckily my ex agreed to stay on to give me time to buy her out. Anyways, towards the end of my call she asks if the…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:02 PM
2

I remember specifically asking my ex if she was being influenced by something and she said no. Then I saw her tiktok feed and I realized how distorted her world view had become. She came to the conclusion we could be in a polyamorous relationship at one point. I've argued with other folks here and in other support groups about this because many seem to dismiss it. You used the word "reinforcement", I think that's a correct way of seeing it but I honestly think there's more to it. The algorithms …
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:47 PM
1

I truly believe this stems from some sort of mental dissonance. There's an inconsistency between reality and the fantasy they've created in their head so they do all sorts of mental gymnastics to build a story that makes sense to them and frees them from any accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:38 PM
9

You are very early days brother. I'm about 3 months ahead of you. You'll find your new rhythm. The worrying about the future is tricky. You want to be a realist and it's normal to want to have a plan etc. But you have to embrace the uncertainty. It's easier said then done but that's the truth. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. So embrace it in all of its entirety. Life is beautiful. What you are going through will pass. It's just a season in your life y…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 06:25 PM
2

That last part lmao. Same with my and my in laws. They had 3 daughters and I was the first son in law. They both tell me I'm the son they never had. For a while I tried to distance myself from them because everything was so raw but it's been 6 months since the separation and we are somehow closer than before. They come over once a week to spend time with me and their grand daughters.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 06:03 PM
2

It's crazy how common it is to not recognize them anymore. Lately I've seen glimpses of my old wife. I even had her come over to the house (I managed to keep it) because my 4 year old was asking for her. Even my ex-mother in law tells me she's acting like her old self. But I've dropped the hammer, throttled down and not looking back.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 06:00 PM
1

Nuked her from orbit haha. Love it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:56 PM
2

TikTok... I'm telling you guys. My ex changed within days of being on that app.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:54 PM
1

That's very similar to our situation. She wanted out but she also wanted the security and home we had built together. But in the end she did have the courage to call it quits. I remember commenting to my dad that in a weird way I was in awe how she moved like a freight train to dissolve our marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 02:58 PM
1

That makes a lot of sense. May I ask why she didn't file for it herself if she wanted out?
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 11:23 PM
2

That's a good way to put it. I felt like I was bleeding all over the place right after she said she wanted an open marriage in Oct. Spent the next 3 months patching things up only for her to reopen the wound and stab again in Feb. For sure this has left a scar but I'm still standing. Embrace the uncertainty and keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 09:52 PM
1

Wish I would've known this beforehand
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 09:49 PM
1

How's your daughter managing all this? I have 4 and 2 year old with a late stage lesbian. I can't wrap my head around the "poly" lifestyle which at one point she asked of me. I hope my daughters aren't subjected to that but I don't know if I have any say in the matter.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 09:56 PM
2

I worry about this from time to time. My ex decided to try out that lifestyle and I hope whoever she ends up with doesn't subject our daughters to something toxic. I still can't believe she's done this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 09:53 PM
1

It's been hard for me. The biggest thing that helped was changing out the bedroom set. There are too many memories to count but the goal for me is to preserve this home so that my girls have their rooms and backyard etc. It's hard but that's what drives me. I refuse to let what my ex did destroy this dream of having a loving happy home.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:15 PM
1

Shit... too late haha. Coming from a 12 year relationship (6 years married) started seeing someone last month. Separated 6 months
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 12:20 AM
1

I'm right there with you brotha. I have a 3 and 1 year old. I've stopped trying to figure out my ex. She was 19 when we met so I think she feels like she missed out on partying and exploring her sexuality. My oldest turns 4 tomorrow. I'm inviting everyone over including my ex. This is the end for our family unit the way I had envisioned it but it's not The End. Hang in there bud. There's brighter days ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 08:18 PM
9

Very similar situation to mine number wise. Also, in Cali. She pays me alimony and child support and unbelievably I kept the house. I do have to pay her out for her share of the home in 5 years but I offset that total by leaving her retirement alone. Sorry you're going through this bud. Mine happened in February and it felt like the world was ending. Now, 4 months later, I'm seeing a 5' 10 brunette with blue eyes. Life has a funny way of surprising you. Hang in there bud. You'll he alright. Reac…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 05:07 PM
1

Yeah, she owed me. A silver lining inguess for me
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 12:26 PM
2

Mine was rearing to bolt so bad she forgot alimony was a thing and ended up owing me 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 06:34 PM
3

They are out there. Lots of them are career women that were hustling to be independent and now they are wondering if that was the right path. But yes they are fewer than the single mom pools and the "I want kids" pool. The girl I'm dating wants kids and honestly I'm open to it. Especially now that I only see my girls 50% of the time. Being alone and doing my own thing is nice but it's not what I wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 10:24 PM
3

I'm not sure bro. I've gone on a few dates and talked to a few girls on Hinge. I think I need more time to heal. They are out there but it's a mixed bag of career oriented women and single moms in our age range. It'll definitely be tricky considering I got two little girls to take care of 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 09:19 PM
2

I somehow managed to convince my ex to stay on the mortgage for the next 5 years. I will owe her a good chunk of change but that's expected giving how much the house appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 08:56 PM
2

Yup. I'm not sure how much I've lost but it's crazy
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 08:54 PM
1

It's tough man. I got two little girls under 3. I'm managing alright but not sure how you are supposed to do this long term. Maybe it'll get easier as they get older but damn it would be nice to have a partner. Unlike a lot of guys here I didn't get completely hosed in the divorce so maybe I'm the exception .
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 06:16 PM
3

Not sure friend. I was with her for 13 years. Married 6. The dreams are less often now but when they do happen they are jarring. They are so vivid and its usually us being physical. They've become less frequent. I don't know what triggers them. I have two little girls with her and I'm thankful when I do have those dreams and they are there because I realize not all is lost. When they are not there it does take a while to go back to sleep. Sometimes I can't and if I'm lucky enough to be close to …
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 03:53 PM
1

Sorry bud. It's like an epidemic of this shit. Not sure what the hell is going on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 08:21 PM
1

We got the deal bud. She's staying on the mortgage for 5 years. I was looking for 2 min 3 max. She's also paying spousal and child support. Shit I even kept my Camaro. I don't know if it's guilt or if she's just not thinking clearly. Either way I'm happy with the outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 08:00 PM
1

I don't even know what to say haha. She also went lesbian?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 09:22 PM
5

I'm not sure how else to say it 🫤
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 10:47 PM
1

I felt compelled because Easter was our first big Holiday apart. It pains me to know that next Holiday I might be the one going to the family gatherings alone. Anyways we met, no harm no foul, we sort of just covered the basics of what the mediators sent and talked about the girls for a little bit. That's all.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 08:02 PM
3

It's the craziest thing. Our mediator alluded to something similar, that's my situation is the best case scenario for a divorce, but in the end I'm still being rejected. But I get it. I do like that my girls won't have another "dad" in the picture. Unless my stbx decides to switch back lol.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 05:33 PM
2

You're correct not CS but SS
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:26 PM
-1

The current plan that I proposed and the mediators went along with was to nail down the number owed to my wife at the time of the divorce decree. That number will then be lowered by subtracting what is owed to me from her 401K accounts. Someone suggested it could be further lowered by forgoing the CS and SS but the fact is I do need that money to keep ahead of everything. 3 years from now I'm hoping that I'll have a good chunk of money saved, I'm betting on a few raises here at work and maybe ev…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:42 PM
4

I got on there to see what was up. I had a girl match me and she then asked if I was down for a threesome with some other dude. World has turned upside down for guys like me. I'm not jaded or giving up on finding someone but damn it's going to be tough around these parts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:21 PM
6

Bud my wife left to be with other women. Imagine how the hell I feel hahaha. Anyways the NRE is what she gets from this new dude that she didn't get from you. It really has nothing to do with the looks or anything. It's just new and exciting. From my side the amount of weight I lost from just getting divorced kick started my recovery. I'm not sure how much I've lost but the morning and afternoon walks to get my mind off things and lifting weights when I'm bored or pissed have been a welcomed sur…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:16 PM
3

Sorry brother. I'm 37 and have been separated for a few months now. I'm finding ways to embrace the loneliness. Turns out there's a lot of lonely people out there. Even people that are married can feel lonely. All I can say is embrace this cross and keep moving forward. That's life. We can't let it hold us down.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 02:57 PM
4

Damn.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 11:06 PM
2

I don't even know what to say brother. I'm so sorry this is happening to you
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 11:50 PM
2

Shit man I'm sorry bud. How old are your kiddos?
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 11:45 PM
1

Pretty much. A peaceful boring life is a marriage killer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:44 PM
2

Luckily, I got cancer, so I got a payout from my insurance. The fact that you wrote this as being a positive after divorce is bananas. What a world.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:27 PM
5

Fuck that bud. I went to a wedding 2 days after my wife drop the bomb on me. I'd do it all over again. My vows were real and I'm not writing women out of my life because I have a lot of women in my life that have been true and loyal. Im talking aunts, cousins and even my sister. And as a father of two little girls I can't become callous or bitter when it comes to marriage. Im actually at a wedding right now for one of my best friends. I refuse to live my life in fear and I'm open to running it a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 09:33 PM
2

I'm trying to stay in the house. Not sure if it's doable but I'll be damned if I don't try.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 04:49 PM
4

She asked if I wouldn't mind opening our relationship so that she could have a girlfriend. When I flipped out, her exact words were "I thought you wouldn't mind..."
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 09:53 PM
3

Bro you have plenty of time. Don't sweat it. And you are right to want girls. I have two and they are like little jet engines on my back through this fucking divorce. I miss them terribly when I don't have them but they make want to be better and present for them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:31 PM
4

That's fucking rough bud. I'm still at the family home but I'll tell you, on the days I don't have my two girls, and the house empty... it's incredibly lonely as well. I get by organizing their rooms. Planning shit to do when they are back and getting ready for them. Last night I left my in-laws place after dinner and my 3.5 year old cried for me not to go. Its one thing I'll never forgive my stbxw for. The pain she's caused my oldest daughter and the trauma she's inflicted on her is too much to…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:25 PM
6

I'm right there with you brotha. You just have to let go. Imagine you are in a fast moving river. Don't fight the current. Go with it and keep your ahead above water (eat well, sleep, excercise etc) and make your way to shore. It's happening, accept it and focus on what you do control.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:19 PM
3

Damn. Are you able to visit them?
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 09:46 PM
4

What blows my mind is that for the majority of our relationship we had sex maybe 3-4 times a week. It wasn't until the last few months that it became harder for us to connect. She blames her hormones but at this point I'm done trying to figure it all out. Shit if she can't figure it out how the hell am I suppose to. One thing that does stand out to me now is that when she first asked me to explore and suggested us getting a "girlfriend" she was still all lovely dovey with me for trying to accomm…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 08:42 PM
3

Thanks for this. I'm in the same boat as OP. Married 6.5 years and my stbxw says she's a lesbian now too. Go figure.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 07:42 PM
5

There is a beauty in death and rebirth friend. Embrace the pain, anger, and use it it to shape your new future. I find that even though I only see my girls 50% of the time I'm more focused and dialed in when I have them. Because on the days I don't have them I'm focused on being ready for them. Cleaning the house, their clothes, having food for them, hustling on the side to make ends meet and taking a few hours to just be alone and enjoy something by myself. That way when I do have them it's all…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 05:18 PM
3

Yeah I understand I'm in the minority. Some of the divorced guys I talk to say I'm lucky but honestly this whole situation has me turned upside down.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 06:02 PM
3

Thanks for replying bud. "So you buy her out by reducing alimony, reducing QDRO, some combo of the 2, and maybe the smallest cash out refi you can do." This is exactly what I was looking for. First time I've heard of QDRO but it makes sense to me. She has about 50k in a 401K. Long story short I need to reduce the equity amount by making concessions and lock it in so I'm not chasing a moving target. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask for 3 years but we'll see what happens in our mediation meeting.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 05:59 PM
3

This is a good take. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 10:39 PM
3

Well said and thanks for sharing.
/r/TheRedPill06/02/15 11:21 PM
23

He's depressed and has pretty much turned his back on the world. He's not handling it very well. He was blinded by his love for this girl. To be honest I don't even know if he knows about Vegas. My mom heard it from my aunt. I know I would be livid if my family kept that from me.
/r/TheRedPill17/10/14 06:22 PM
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