| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 113 | My 2019 New Year’s resolution was to go on 50 dates | pyre10 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 04:51 PM | |
| 1 | Women over 35 | Discussion | pyre10 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/17 05:39 PM |
| 1 | Idea for new sub: FDS Relationship Advice | FDS SUCCESS! | pyre10 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/20 02:26 PM |
| 1 | It’s not about communication, it’s about behavior | SHOWER THOUGHT | pyre10 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/20 02:45 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Would you keep a guy on rotation whose been divorced? How many divorces before it’s too much?1 divorce is ok. Past a certain age (early 30’s), it’s almost inevitable. He’s gotta be clean emotionally, no bad mouthing the ex, not bitter or damaged. And like someone said here, if a man is 35-40+ and he’s never been married or had children, there’s probably something wrong with him. I’m 💍 with a divorced man, and he’s a absolute dream | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/20 02:30 PM |
| 2 | Advice needed: Setting boundaries on an engagement/marriage timeline.We met 1 year 8 months ago (on Tinder of course), dated for 3 months, long-distance for 1 year, living together for 6 months. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/20 02:00 PM |
| 4 | Advice needed: Setting boundaries on an engagement/marriage timeline.Update: he just proposed with an inappropriately expensive ring, we’ll be getting married in 2 months :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/20 03:54 AM |
| 1 | It’s not about communication, it’s about behaviorIs it me, or do my posts not make it to the front page at all? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/20 04:57 PM |
| 2 | Is there a reason for women to get married - set me straightThat is fire. Rock on | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 02:25 PM |
| 4 | I'm sure most of the LVM didn't understand the heavy sarcasm. WoMEn ArEn'T fUnNy. I absolutely adore her 😍.That was hilarious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 02:23 PM |
| 6 | Is there a reason for women to get married - set me straightDoes “multiple 6 figures” mean over $200k? God I love seeing that, love seeing women make obscene amounts. Makes me feel, “if she can get that, maybe I should too,” in the best way. Do you mind sharing what you do? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/20 04:14 PM |
| 6 | Is there a reason for women to get married - set me straightStay open-minded. A marriage is only as worthwhile as the man you are marrying. Let the the quality of the man convince you that marrying him would be better rather than not marrying. I want to marry my boyfriend for all these reasons: I really do want to be with him forever, and want the commitment to the permanent ties of marriage to overcome whatever minor bumps in the road of life or our relationship that we might encounter. Social respect and recognition, not for just being married, but for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/20 04:07 PM |
| 2 | FDS, crushes, and redirecting your resourcesExcellent analysis. It was an interesting read. We’ve all definitely been in these kind of situations, and I think understanding exactly why he does what he does is so helpful in breaking the spell. And seeing a guy who’s really interested clears it up so well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 05:15 PM |
| 1 | How long is too long to wait until someone messages you after a date?4 days after a date is ok to wait for a text. However the fact that he didn’t ask for your phone number is just strange. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 04:43 PM |
| 2 | Can a HVM be a single dad?A HVM might marry a LVW for the same reason that we end up in relationships with LVM: lack of experience, naïveté, optimism, relationship progressing too quickly to see the signs, a sense of responsibility and loyalty. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 05:13 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend suggests a prenup to “protect” his house, OP drafts her own prenup that also protects her assets and investments. BF doesn’t like a prenup that doesn’t solely favor him and they break up.We just talked again about this, he’s strongly against it, so I’ll give it a rest. Then in our case, we don’t need a prenup? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 04:57 PM |
| 4 | Boyfriend suggests a prenup to “protect” his house, OP drafts her own prenup that also protects her assets and investments. BF doesn’t like a prenup that doesn’t solely favor him and they break up.So what should a good, fair pre-nup say? My partner and I make high and similar incomes (mine is curr 20% more). I have 6x more in savings/retirement (due to circumstances beyond his control, he is more frugal & responsible than me). We split rent, and he pays the all the other expenses. Our state considers the cost basis of assets brought into a marriage in case of divorce. I would like a pre-nup that says that everything is divided equally, a strict 50% across the board - house, retirement sav… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 03:18 PM |
| 1 | Is this still pick me behavior? Roast me if necessary lol I still have a little “I can change his mind” only like 2 guys I spoke to said marriage straight out.I think that’s a big mistake to say you are looking for marriage. The first principle of FDS is that you are happily single and would only look to alter that for an exceptional man, who would enhance and add to your life. When you say you are looking to be married, it sounds like it doesn’t matter to whom, and it does come across as desperate and a turnoff. I think the guy’s answer was very favorable. That question - what you’re looking for - is important to ask, but if the man says, “I’m lookin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Can a HVM be a single dad?Hashtag notallmen but seriously, if the question is “Do exceptions exist?”, then yes they do. There are bad women who cheat and steal and are bad parents. And sometimes they are paired with good men. First clue of course is his actions, if he’s complaining about child support, that’s obviously a low value man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 03:57 PM |
| 3 | Can a HVM be a single dad?I agree with all points except the last one. Also just realized we all read “single dad” to include men with partial or joint custody, meaning, not really single dads. Interesting that. I ama childless woman with a man who has joint custody - it is not at all what you describe. I am his priority, and I am not being used as a resource in any way. He is fully self-sufficient, and my addition to the household creates negligible amount of extra labor for him, so he still does all the cleaning, shopp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 03:49 PM |
| 0 | Can a HVM be a single dad?Yes. This is what it looks like: divorced (child was within a marriage) has joint custody does not speak ill of the ex, maintains a working relationship, not emotional good parent does not look for you to mother his children, capable and self-sufficient in household matters | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 03:42 PM |
| 3 | When men ask about your pet peeve? How would you answerMy pet peeves are: two spaces after a period. Excessive capitalization of nouns in corporate documents (it’s English, not German!), visible grid lines in Excel files. In dating I don’t have any - and that should be your answer - because everyone is different. Pet peeve is a small time annoyance that you encounter over and over again. Doesn’t apply to people or dating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 01:53 PM |
| 5 | Bro either ask me out or don’t wydSoz is short for Sauscony Valdoria, protagonist of Primary Inversion by Catherine Asaro, a science fiction romantic space opera, also my favorite book | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 09:53 PM |
| 1 | Advice needed: Setting boundaries on an engagement/marriage timeline.Your questioning is legitimate though, because he hasn't proposed yet! If he had, I wouldn't have to write a lengthy justification. I do find that annoying, and I'm a bit impatient. We're visiting his family, and yesterday some old neighbors/friends came by, and were like, "Oh pyre10, we've heard a lot about you." I was so uncomfortable. I don't want to introduced as his girlfriend. That's a misrepresentation of the gravity and impact of my presence in his life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 02:05 PM |
| 1 | Advice needed: Setting boundaries on an engagement/marriage timeline.He was adamantly against marriage when we first met, for very valid reasons - his previous marriage was legitimately super bad. (Without any gory details, he's that one in a million, unicorn exception that proves the rule, where he was victimized) When he told me he loved me a year ago, he asked if marriage is important to me. I said "with you, yes, because I want to share my life with you." He hasn't said he opposed it since. Two months after I moved in, he told me that he loves living together… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 01:49 PM |
| 2 | Part 2: For sh*ts and giggles, what's your HVM zodiac sign?My HVM is Aquarius, I’m a Libra. What the other thread said about Aquarius being emotionally distant and Libras being fuck boys- that’s not wrong (I was one). But I’ve reformed for the right man, and he appreciated that enough to get over himself | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 01:34 AM |
| -2 | Advice needed: Setting boundaries on an engagement/marriage timeline.I’m in that stage where I’m waiting for a proposal, any day now. If it doesn’t happen within 6 months, I’ll break up with him. But I know it will - because he would do anything to keep me. When I met him 1.5 years ago, he said he would never get married again in his life. We dated for 2 months, long distance for 1 year, and living together for 4 months. My point is, it was one of his firmest conviction not to get married, and he threw that out the window because he loves me and wants to be with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 01:29 AM |
| 18 | What are some the embarassing things you’ve done as a pickmeisha that you promise you won’t ever do it again, now that FDS has taught you better?Went on a vacation with a guy I met only once before, and paid for everything. It was actually my breaking point. He was 2 hours late to pick me up at the airport. The entitlement and disrespect he showed me & my money led me to say “never again.” Before, I actually liked paying for guys and found it “empowering.” After that “fling”, everything he did became a red flag that I would walk away at: texting every day and demanding attention, being late, posting selfies on social media, just no. It w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 12:52 PM |
| 11 | How FDS simultaneously saved me and killed my sex drive. (Read before downvotes)I believe this wholeheartedly, to honor my sexuality. As a result, my sex life pattern with my boyfriend follows my hormone cycle: every day for a week, then nothing for 2-3 weeks. It’s not ideal for relationship maintenance, he starts to think I’ve lost interest in him every time... but I’m not going to compromise on this. I’m only going to have sex when I want to organically | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 04:48 AM |
| 2 | Is it possible for a LVM to better himself and become a HVM, in order to make himself a suitable match for a HVW?I watched a friend go through with. My most impressive accomplished girlfriend, getting involved with a guy dealing drugs, with prison history, domestic abuse history (but of course SHE hit/provoked him). Yet he was so sweet and a rockstar in bed, and also devoted and “changed” for her. Spoiler: it ended badly. Once she started saying ‘no’ to him, he was less sweet. She could not get rid of him. He demanded money because he dropped his dealing because of her, so she owed him. She was genuinely s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:08 PM |
| 1 | What does your HV partner add to your life?Every morning he brings up a glass with my medicine (D-Mannose), and half an hour later, a cup of coffee to my bedside for my morning wake up ritual Does all the laundry, cleaning, and 90% of grocery shopping and cooking. On days I'm too distracted to eat, he'll put a plate in front of me I spend a lot less money now and save more, because he pays for most expenses and does things that I used to pay people for (e.g. laundry, cleaning, massages) My lifestyle is more active and healthier: we go on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 02:54 PM |
| 3 | Movies with HVM leads?Lovely movie, yes, totally | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/20 07:44 PM |
| 9 | The average woman has been taught from birth how to take care of 90% of men's daily needs, while men have been taught to take care of almost 0% of ours. Men claim they need less to "make them happy" because most of their needs get met by default. Women have to beg to be met halfway.This is my life. He wakes up two hours earlier to clean, then comes back to bed to give me a massage as I’m waking up. It’s so good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/20 02:16 PM |
| 7 | How many percentage of tinder meetups lead to actual LTR?Yeah the “superlike” is a good sign, I would prioritize those guys, and generally had good dating experiences on Tinder, and met my bf there as well | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/20 07:01 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020Every day though? Ignore, as in: not reply to a text, is one thing, I agree, that shouldn’t happen at all. Not initiate a text or conversation, that is acceptable for several days in a row. Quite normal! Anecdotally, men who texted me every day were a all a waste of time, demanding and entitled. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 04:50 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020That’s https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 04:46 PM |
| 16 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020He’ll show interest by inviting you on dates. Twice a week is the best pace, once a week is also good solid sign of interest when it’s consistent. Otherwise texting is just a drain on your time and attention, it’s not an indication of serious interest unless it’s accompanied by weekly dates. He should text every 3-4 days. And don’t text first, there’s no upside to that. Keep to a 4-1 rule: if he initiates 4 texts, you can initiate one. Same with dates. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 04:40 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020Totally disagree. This varies wildly by person. In early dating especially heavy texting is inappropriate. If a guy texted me every day, I would end it. Ideally, you text only to set up the next date: twice a week. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 04:36 PM |
| 3 | No to online dating. How to mean a HVM in the wild?I never would have met my bf in the wild. My workplace was 5 mins from where he lives (inside that 2mi Tinder radius) but we drove to work and had totally diff.social circles. It’s a numbers game. Your man is going to be 1 in 100. Online dating allows you to sort through a lot of men fairly quickly and efficiently, to meet people you wouldn’t have otherwise. Aim to meet someone interesting who will think that you’re amazing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 04:36 PM |
| 4 | Anyone else go from HVW to Pickmeisha out of habitRead FDS regularly. Paying is my weak spot, I like paying for stuff, makes me feel rich & powerful, and like I’m adding value (and I do objectively make more money). Need to stay vigilant and let him handle it 60-70%. Remind yourself that men LIKE to do the work in a relationship. Men need to make an effort in order to appreciate and enjoy it, otherwise they will stop valuing it. He has to continue working for it, winning you, overcoming obstacles, running errands, doing chores - they love it, t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Proffessional women in small towns- how do you go about it?Being alone is very hard. You sound very strong if you did that for 2 years without cracking up, especially if the work was stressful on top of that. Tinder is not that scary | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 02:44 PM |
| 4 | Proffessional women in small towns- how do you go about it?“Was a wonderful experience but gave me clinical depression” - holy dissonance! What’s up with that? What made it wonderful? Do you think you should have ended it sooner given the negative effects on your mental health and happiness? I have a personal interest in asking; I am 1 year into a move far far from everything “for my career”, and on weekends, I sometimes wake up crying. Should I just chuck it all and go home? For your dating dilemma, can you look in neighboring towns? Within 1 hour driv… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 06:30 PM |
| 1 | Had a really great chat with this guy all day. He asked me for a date and I said yes, but I’m traveling for work and my only free night for a while is tonight. Lmao cool bye.You are right. I also asked myself, why my boyfriend say this? No, he would not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 03:10 PM |
| 5 | Had a really great chat with this guy all day. He asked me for a date and I said yes, but I’m traveling for work and my only free night for a while is tonight. Lmao cool bye.I don't think it's fair to hold it against him to turn down a super last minute date - literally the same day. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 01:52 AM |
| 4 | If men don’t like bitches then why do they only go for women who aren’t super into them? Why do they lose interest when a woman expresses love?Omg this is my situation. Exactly same, we are 1 year into it. Jeez four years is a long time. How was it resolved? Did you move or did he? And why wouldn't he move after you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 01:45 AM |
| 5 | FDS works and I’m bummedThis is a great story and actually a win. It is a blessing that you are, in your own description, out there. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And you don’t want to be! But there will be men who will be absolutely mad about you for all the things that made you different: your brassy opinions, your bold style, your mechanical mind. And you want someone who’s going to think you’re the cat’s meow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 03:57 PM |
| 8 | I’m sorry...what?!Or he’s laying down date rape defense | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 03:53 PM |
| 3 | i am so tiredSeems that way | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 03:41 PM |
| 3 | "Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men" by Lundy Bancroft is ESSENTIAL reading for FDS.God bless you for the free link. I spent half the night reading it, and then bought the actual book too. This is required reading for all heterosexual women and people who love women. My friend just got out of an abusive relationship and she believed his lies: that he was abused as a child, mistreated by other women and the world, that he was just too jealous, even though she didn't let him dominate her and got out in 1.5 years. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 11:42 PM |
| 2 | Third time not a charmIf he didn’t text you mid week, why should you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 06:51 AM |
| 2 | Third time not a charmThis isn’t yet a reason to block him. However, you won’t make him MORE interested in you by reaching out. If he hasn’t confirmed the date, then he’s either made other plans or something came up or anything else. This is fine. Make your own plans, go on other dates. If he reaches out last minute, you are busy and made other plans - in a totally friendly way. That will not make him lose interest, but let him know he has to schedule dates in advance if he wants to see you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 06:50 AM |
| 17 | Don’t date men who watch porn, Exhibit 754I second this. This is beyond what I needed to see/read even with NSFW | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/20 12:12 AM |
| 1 | My 2019 New Year’s resolution was to go on 50 datesI honestly don't remember, both of them were most Super Likes though. I think I wait for them, otherwise you get ppl whose timing is off, and momentum is crucial | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 04:20 AM |
| 6 | My 2019 New Year’s resolution was to go on 50 datesSame? He doesn't. He left active service this year in order to stay put in one place, although it wasn't for my sake, but a happy coincidence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 01:54 AM |
| 29 | My 2019 New Year’s resolution was to go on 50 datesThe rules are a good filter. If the man is acting right, it's easy for follow the rules: he's consistently reaching out and setting dates a few days in advance. You don't need to question whether he likes you. I did question whether he likes me a lot or just a moderate amount, but his behavior was consistent. Matching energy is key. Never give more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 08:39 PM |
| 16 | My 2019 New Year’s resolution was to go on 50 datesYes? Lol he's like 5'8, a few inches taller than me. Never entered into my math. I find medium height attractive Edit: A height requirement will statistically shrink your eligible pool, although so would a requirement that he be healthy, fit & have good teeth. He was perfect for me, but for someone else the fact that he's divorced, has a child, and doesn't want any more children might be a deal-breaker. But the universe is large and men are plentiful! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 08:34 PM |
| 13 | Theory: most men can’t handle casual sex.Yes, and this is a counter-point to the FDS strategy of "wait 3 months for sex." As long as you have sex on your own terms, and maintain your emotional distance, it only fans his interest in you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 05:32 PM |
| 9 | (26 F) Any chance of pulling this back FDS style? Wanted fun, now I want options...I think you are fine so far. Your attitude of "just wanting fun" kept you emotionally distant, which is catnip to men. Stick with that. Say you want to go out the next time he invites you over. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 06:37 AM |
| 4 | I REALLY like him, so much that I feel myself falling into the trap of acting like a "pick me". How do I play it cool?Don't try to make it fair or easy for him. Men LIKE to work. The more effort he has to put into a date, the more he is going to like & value you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 06:27 AM |
| 3 | I REALLY like him, so much that I feel myself falling into the trap of acting like a "pick me". How do I play it cool?Oh man, this reminds me of the 1st month dating my current boyfriend. After a few dates, I REALLY liked him, and was ready to break up with him if he wasn't serious about me. Thankfully, my friend talked me off that ledge. Date other men! It's not easy if you like this one, but it helped. If he is meant for you, the universe will deliver. Meanwhile, be open to meeting someone new. Maybe someone better! Playing it cool is very important. Men need space to chase and to fall. The more emotional con… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 06:23 AM |
| 2 | Need help reconciling FDS with refusing marriageI've been very lukewarm on marriage all my life. Never intend to have children, so what's the point? Now I'm dating this guy, and I do want to marry him, it came to me as a strong sudden unwavering desire after date 5. He's shown his love & commitment to me in every way, but he is very strongly against getting married again (had a traumatic first marriage). We are together one year. I don't know, this sub makes me question our relationship more than I would have before. It does mean a lot. I wan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/19 12:18 AM |
| 14 | How Can You Tell If A Man Will Be Good In Bed? (MEGATHREAD)Source: Had sex with 99 men, so my perspectives are closer to real data than anecdotal. Important: Evaluate the sex as it’s happening, at every stage, and bail if it’s not good. 1. Kissing chemistry or ability to dance are NOT indicators of good sex This is a myth; there is no relation. I’ve met men who were amazing kissers and lackluster in bed, and men who can’t dance at all, can’t even hear rhythm, and fantastic in bed. That said, kissing and dancing are great physical foreplay, to see if you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/19 04:22 PM |
| 2 | Was I too harsh or was he just playing meI don’t know, it sure looked like he was asking you out on a date - for a Friday, at that, and that he was interested in you. I think a few days between texting when you are not even dating yet is fine. These are not yet red flags. He is asking about your interests in the chat window. I think you can counteroffer the date since you didn’t like the proposed activity. He’s definitely interested | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/19 04:03 PM |
| 1 | Black Friday is coming up and I'm stocking up on perfume - what perfumes get you guys the most compliments & smell super sexy?Best feminine perfume is Diorissimo by Dior. It’s not very common, scent is lily of the valley, flowery but not too sweet. I regularly get compliments from random strangers if I put it on heavy enough to smell it. https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/dior-diorissimo-eau-de-parfum/product/0467400777305 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/19 04:43 PM |
| 3 | The characteristics of a High Value ManI see my reply got removed, but thank you for your concern. It was an interesting situation, because it was the opposite of what you warn about. After showing his baggage (letting out a few sentences about his previous marriage), he was so embarrassed by his lapse in emotional control, he tried to end the date right there. Literally got his coat and walked away saying, “I probably should not date yet.” I was really intrigued by him, so instead of letting him go, I talked to him, right there, unt… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/19 04:08 PM |
| 10 | The characteristics of a High Value ManYes, met a man like this this year (on Tinder). It seemed impossible, and still does when I consider the odds, but for me the key was to believe he exists out there, and to be optimistic and confident. I had to leave my own “man-hating space” and love men, in my heart. If I hadn’t, our relationship wouldn’t have survived the 2nd date, when his own baggage came out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/19 07:49 PM |
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