~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 13 | Is "a straight man engaging sexually with a man for benefit" a fair comparison to "a woman being with a man she finds repulsive for benefit"?How can you prepare and force yourself to be aroused exactly? When you’re not aroused, that thing is tight. You can’t force the muscles to relax and prevent tearing. And if you’re trying to put it into someone who’s not aroused, yes, there’s gonna be a little bit of violent forcing that will be required and it will hurt her | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/20 11:54 PM |
| 6 | Is "a straight man engaging sexually with a man for benefit" a fair comparison to "a woman being with a man she finds repulsive for benefit"?I’m just curious, do you know how much sex hurts for a woman? It hurts a lot. And if you’re not into it, they’ll tear into you. The whole thing is a nightmare and you’ll come away with injuries | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/20 11:44 PM |
| 7 | Is "a straight man engaging sexually with a man for benefit" a fair comparison to "a woman being with a man she finds repulsive for benefit"?At least a woman is unlikely to hurt me in the process. Ugh. Imagine a 400 pound smelly guy falling on top of you...I’ll take cleanliness and no pain over ugly smelly fat old guy | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/20 11:42 PM |
| 31 | I recently posted one of these, and here's another. I didn't curate this at all, it is just the top of r/relationships today. And people wonder why women are gravitating towards FDS...“Van life”!?? Tell me you’re joking 🤢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/20 08:48 PM |
| 35 | HVW in movies, TV shows or other mediaElle Woods, but only after she leveled up and threw it in her ex’s face. Literally my fave 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 10:17 PM |
| 1 | What is with the flood of men on OLD who want to travel the world full-time?I’ve traveled quite a bit in my life, which I understand just means I grew up very privileged. It’s great and fun, whatever but not something I bring up that often. I find that these guys just talk about travel all the time because they’ve literally got nothing going on. They’re in a dead end job that they hate or just don’t have many other hobbies. But idk, that’s just me. Reminds me of those travel abroad kids who can’t stop bringing up the one time they went to Italy... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 09:31 PM |
| 82 | 'Why don't women just tell us "no"? They complicate it all so much' (found on twitter)I have guys that I met once at a bar or a mutual friend’s event that will message me once every six months for years. For some of them it has been more than 7 years of me not replying. Another guy that I went on 2 dates with sends messages into the void and it has been more than a year. Wtf. Like do they think I’ll wake up one day and change my mind? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 06:04 PM |
| 30 | Dear Reddit LibFems: Nobody died and made your self important asses the gatekeepers of feminism. We're not "fake feminists" because you don't agree with us, nor are you as inclusive and non-judgmental of women's choices as you pretend you are.Also notice how you never know what happens afterwards. It seems glamorous at first. But they seem to disappear after a few years. What happens to these UMC girls that naively get into camming? Is it equally good when you’re not the youngest and newest? Or does the money dry up? Does it give you skills you can put on your resume so you can get another job? Or do they refuse to hire you because of your past? These young women who post all day about how feminist they are and how empowering sex wor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 09:35 PM |
| 2 | Men my age falling behindThanks for this advice. I do have lots of fun and he does care for me and take me out, show effort, etc. Guess I just got too caught up in planning for the future. I’ll keep focusing on my own personal growth without planning a longer term future and he can be there for some fun. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/20 01:49 PM |
| 6 | Men my age falling behindThanks for giving me some life perspective! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/20 12:25 AM |
| 6 | Men my age falling behindSorry, I think the phrasing wasn’t clear. The point I was trying to make is that if you’re taken, you’re taken. If I’m single, If I happen to meet someone on the same page by chance, I can be open to it. This is different from chasing another relationship. I’m talking about closing doors vs keeping them open. Does that make sense? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/20 12:25 AM |
| 4 | What The Sex-Worker Industry EnablesPeople try to frame sex work as “empowering” and “reclaiming your sexuality,” but let’s be real, what’s happening is that you’re just pandering to depraved men. I get it, women get desperate and they have to do it. I’m not criticizing women for getting into it because they need to- get your cash and get out as soon as you can. I’m criticizing all these privileged ivy tower liberals that have no idea what sex work is like. You cannot encourage young women to go into it as some sort of empowerment… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 11:53 PM |
| 7 | Someone please tell me I’m being dumb...If you gotta ask, then you already know. Dump the loser | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 11:45 PM |
| 27 | I’m moving to NYC this fall and I keep hearing that dating in NY is awful. Is finding HVM even more difficult in a place like NY?I live in NYC. It’s fine. I mean, as a woman you’ll always have options. The problem is that your options might just suck. A lot of people in NYC- men and women- are just selfish. They have a lot of FOMO and this translates to dating. A lot of men just want to sleep around and have no intentions of settling down. Or they want to settle down when they’re old and have a sugar baby. The other thing is that there’s an enormous amount of cheating going on and a lot of liberal bdsm/open relationship c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:27 PM |
| 1 | How would things change if men and women peaked in attractiveness at the same age?Actually, I am willing to change my opinion and say this is likely also a large contributor to people saying 18-24 is most attractive. Although I’d add that I might not be a good source/can’t hold a proper opinion because I’m actually in this 18-24 range. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/20 01:20 PM |
| 2 | How would things change if men and women peaked in attractiveness at the same age?Isn’t that the point? It’s someone in their twenties, acting “like a teen” having sex with their daddy or teacher, who is there under the guise of mentorship. That scenario is super common. You rarely see searches for “hot 20s woman” even if the actresses are actually in their 20s. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/20 01:16 PM |
| 3 | How would things change if men and women peaked in attractiveness at the same age?Not all men. But a lot of men prefer women 18-24, because younger women are more naive and will look up to partners. Men get their ego stroked when they can teach a younger woman something. It takes little to get a younger woman to admire you. It is harder to impress a woman with more experience. I guess the other half is that women lie about their age to seem younger? My point- it’s not physical. It’s mental. Some men seek imbalance on purpose and that’s why younger women are considered “the pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/20 01:05 AM |
| 109 | A sex trafficker in my area is using YouTube and Instagram to lure women no one cares.I often find that shame is a great motivator for federal departments. Any chance you can get a local newspaper or TV station to take interest? Once incompetence is exposed, the government usually starts moving because they don’t like being embarrassed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 05:38 PM |
| 1 | What Is The Equalizer To Online Dating For Men?These same men who see women as cards to be collected to “win” always cry about not finding true love and feeling alone. The game, if there is one, is to find one person that is right for you. Not to “outdo” women or other guys. Honestly, guys that compete with women like this are ridiculous and we can smell your insecurity miles away. Yeah, sure AWALT. Play stupid games, win even dumber prizes. This weird chase for validation that PPD guys do is retarded. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/20 04:34 PM |
| 57 | There are few things less attractive on a dating profile than a man whose "About Me" is just a list of demands and feature requests.It’s telling that these men’s profiles always list demands in a partner rather than information about themselves while most women I know put together profiles listing interesting things about themselves. Guess it’s because men just have that entitlement inside of them. Like they’ll put a photo from ten years ago and tell you nothing about their interests or outlook on life and expect women to just line up. Men can complain that a woman’s profile is “basic” but at least she puts up information ab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 04:07 PM |
| 16 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020Re-sell and make a profit! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 09:06 PM |
| 5 | LMAO i better not find out any of yall are spending yalls hard earned money on any of these pornsick video game addicts🤣🤣I thoroughly believe that gifts should be sentimental, even if you’re married, even with friends. You can appreciate a guy with a card, an experience, a monogrammed something, a picture, etc. Nobody needs to be buying their man video games. The only people who give gifts like this are parents to children. If you wouldn’t buy your friend a PS5, you sure as hell shouldn’t be gifting one to your bf. They can buy it for themselves | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 02:25 PM |
| 24 | But the marriage is healthy!!That’s the most vile thing I’ve ever read. Wtf | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 01:10 PM |
| 23 | What does your HV partner add to your life?I truly believe your partner should complement you and know you. I don’t wanna use a HVM label as I think it takes years to earn one, but generally good partners know how to read you and will respond and execute. Complements you-he knows that I can be forgetful so he will keep track of where I leave my jewelry, I am better at navigating so I take lead on directions, etc. He reads body language well- gets me a jacket if I look cold, brings me coffee if we’re working together, etc. They are adults… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 10:57 PM |
| 3 | Communication in relationshipI think FDS preaches this mostly as a counter to women always being told to communicate more. Yes, some things should be communicated but others like brush your teeth twice a day or take me out on a real date or please don’t abuse me should be a given. If a man doesn’t respect you, no amount of communication can help you. If you’re getting serious, he should remember and know certain things about you and you shouldn’t have to “communicate.” Ex- you shouldn’t have to communicate that dinner needs… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/20 12:51 AM |
| 15 | Is lockdown a valid excuse for him not to take me on a date?I know a guy who biked to his girl’s window just to wave at her and talk from a distance. He cooked for her and brought meals/gifts and left them on her doorstep and watched from afar as she picked them up and waved thank you. This guy was not allowed to come in due to COVID precautions. Didn’t get a kiss or hug and still did all that because he was into her. When they care, when they’re scared of losing you, they’ll put in the effort. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 03:01 PM |
| 2 | Why would a girl choose casual hookups over real love that's available, and what makes her change her mind?Who has time to wait around? Some people never change and you don’t have time to just give everyone second chances. Why give the guy that messed up another shot when you can be with someone who has never done any wrong and you can start over? You might think you are a catch or maybe you’re just not as good as you think you are, but that doesn’t matter. She’s no longer interested, likely because your relationship wore her out with various issues. I’m glad you’ve recovered, but you don’t own her..… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/20 02:14 AM |
| 1 | Letting your man check out other women's body's is NOT how to keep him faithful.I’m firmly in the camp of don’t date damaged guys in therapy, don’t date addicts and don’t date basket cases. If it’s so bad that they need therapy, there’s something seriously wrong with them in the head and I wouldn’t be hopeful about that being fixed forever. I mean, think about how easy it is not to check out everyone that walks by. Don’t blame the addiction and forgive the man- just dump the whole thing and get one that’s not broken. Sounds harsh? Maybe, but you can’t be throwing second cha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 10:46 PM |
| 9 | Why would a girl choose casual hookups over real love that's available, and what makes her change her mind?Idk about hookups but if you guys have already broken up, there’s little chance she’ll go back to you unless she’s really desperate. Like, why would you go back to a guy that wasn’t good to you or wasn’t compatible? You changed and some of my exes claim they have changed but as a woman, I see these things as too little too late. Change when we bring it up the first time. By the time, I’m breaking it off with a guy, the issues we had made him so unattractive that even if he does change, I don’t w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/20 10:40 PM |
| 17 | Newsflash dude: You are not a prize! Stop trying to neg women with your "not like other girls" bs and shut the hell up.Tbh, guys are lucky to have us. I have no trouble securing commitment or getting a guy to propose. Like, I don’t need to prove myself to be wife material when there’s a line of guys trying to get with me. The same can be said of all my female friends who are wonderfully accomplished and beautiful. My single friends are single by choice and don’t need to prove anything to some LVM. Like, I wouldn’t even take most men as a roommate let alone a husband. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 10:29 PM |
| 2 | what are the most important indicators of dating sucess because I am confused. I have yetYou got this! It’s extra hard as women because society conditions you to think that being single is the ultimate sin but it’s not. You shouldn’t have to suffer in a crap relationship just to prove you can be loved. We can be single and wonderful and loved, and women are single by choice. Men are just projecting their insecurities onto us | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 12:46 PM |
| 8 | what are the most important indicators of dating sucess because I am confused. I have yetThe most important indicator of dating success is being able to avoid falling into a relationship or situation-ship with trash. Remember, this is not a more is better game. You are seeking quality, not quantity. Success is when you are happy with yourself, alone and can sort who is trash and who is not. Success is when you can let go of someone who is not right for you without feeling bad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 12:04 AM |
| 84 | Alpha females - what hurdles do you hit when you date?I don’t really believe in alpha vs beta. It’s not a real thing in wolves and it’s not really a thing in humans either. We all have different personality traits and desire different traits in our partners. To me, it sounds like you know who you are and what you want. That’s good! I don’t think that’s necessarily “alpha,” you could be passive and still certain of yourself. Seems to me that the people around you are negging you and just want you to drop your standards. When you’re a woman, someone … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 11:58 PM |
| 5 | Tips for interracial dating/relationships?Watch how he treats you and other women. There’s machismo culture but there’s also a high standard for general politeness toward women. Not Hispanic, but the Hispanic men I’ve dated have been old fashioned and they should make an effort to walk you home if you’re out, cook for you, pay for you, and make a big show of being romantic. Now, this should be the bare minimum standard so don’t get too impressed and remember that the romantic thing can often be a front. They have all kinds of sweet word… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 07:08 PM |
| 26 | Does anyone else think "Responsive Sexual Desire" is Horse Shit?Sounds like a bunch of BS. I feel desire when I feel safe, cared for and like the man is physically and mentally attractive. I need things to meet the bare minimum standard before even thinking about sex. Plus, sexual desire is mostly mental for me. If I’m not mentally there, I can’t properly start to physically respond. Touch becomes just uncomfortable ugh. They’re probably talking about women who pretend to like it after having husbands pester them and grope them because they just want it to a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 08:05 PM |
| 30 | Divorces rise by 30% in Saudi Arabia after quarantine uncovers polygamous husbandsUncovers polygamy??? Yo, if the other person didn’t know, it’s just straight cheating also | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 10:11 PM |
| 4 | He (26m) told me (19f) to “behave”Listen, I feel for you. I dated a 28 year old when I was 19. I was strung along for 6 months without a title because he wanted to “take things slow.” Didn’t want to “rush into things.” The truth is, later he would finally admit that he could never see me as a life partner because I was too young, even if he did respect my academic work. None of that mattered. A few months later he would meet a woman 3 years older than him, and she immediately became his girlfriend. They’re married now. An older … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 03:21 PM |
| 12 | Using Female Dating StrategyDump him. I had some awful boyfriends but none of them were so bad that they had to watch other women right there when I was next to them. You are not asking for too much. I promise. He’s just gross and disrespectful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:04 PM |
| 22 | He (26m) told me (19f) to “behave”26 is a bit old to be dating a 19 year old. How did you guys even meet? I’m 23 now and since I’ve graduated college, I have no desire to hang out with college kids. He can’t even take you to a bar- not that that’s your fault of course. Telling someone to behave is incredibly condescending. He either thinks of you as a child or a pet. I’ve dated older guys who did this and it’s because they want to control you. Please, run as fast as you can. You don’t say stuff like that to people you respect, p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:00 PM |
| 7 | Do I have to be a ice queen to be a HVW? I wear my heart on my sleeve but I have boundaries. What do you think?I agree with this. Only give what you get! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/20 02:24 PM |
| 7 | My aunt pretends she can't cook so all the men in her life do it for herMy bf does all the housework too and cooks when he visits! Although I think that has more to do with the fact that I’m not actually a very tidy person and he is. I probably could improve, but he does a better job always and he knows this. He also does the laundry because I told him I never separate colors and whites...huh, being clueless (or pretending to be) really does the trick if he’s already a competent adult | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/20 02:23 PM |
| 4 | r/sex advice: what did the woman he CHEATED with do that you didn’t? 🤡🤡🤡I’ve seen a LVM cheat on hot, loving lawyer gf with actual heroin addicts that suffered from mental illness and were low key homeless. It’s not you. Its them and they don’t want to change. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 04:16 PM |
| 138 | Guy keeps spreadsheets and rates sex with his GF....didn’t fit in the screenshot but he also has spreadsheets of all his ex’s too 🤮🤮🤮 why oh whyyyyLow key serial killer behavior. I’m pretty sure psychos also rate sex and murders. But no worries girl, your rating is better than corpse number 3! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 03:31 PM |
| 20 | I’m tired of this narrative that women live life on “easy mode.” Imagine being so narrow-minded that you think that women getting free drinks and movies means the patriarchy no longer existsThey can also get free stuff and get groped and sexually assaulted and drugged if they look hot and vulnerable and go seek out gay predators. I know too many young gay men that were assaulted and forced into basically prostitution after being given “gifts” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 03:28 PM |
| 3 | HVM Stories and Experiences SharethreadHonestly, I hope FDS works for everyone here as well as it has for me. Everyone here has been so supportive and good to me. I’m really really glad I found this sub | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/20 03:22 PM |
| 52 | HVM Stories and Experiences SharethreadSome nice things that my (status pending) boyfriend does: - always walks me home to my apartment, no matter how late it is. Doesn’t matter if it’s in the afternoon or 3am. He makes sure I’m safe and have gotten inside my apartment. - brings me coffee when I’m working or if he visits in the morning. It’s always unprompted as a sweet surprise - gets little gifts while he’s out. Nothing too expensive, just little treats that he knows I like - cleans/organizes my house because he knows that I’m ofte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/20 08:29 PM |
| 12 | THIS. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.Say it again and then ten times more! For some men, you will never be “enough.” Be with the people who respect you and challenge you to be better every day because they love you, not because they want to put you down. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/20 01:04 PM |
| 59 | Everyone in the comments agreed with this post. There is no hope.When I take my friends out, I really take them out. When they take me out, everything gets paid for. When I moved, all my close girl friends sent me a housewarming gift. Idk why generosity is so hard. If a man says he’s taking you out, he needs to actually take you out. Otherwise you’re just two bro’s meeting up and it’s not a date | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/20 02:21 PM |
| 54 | Being with bisexual menFor me, it’s not about sexuality, it’s about character and a lot of men have just garbage character. Yes, many bisexual men will go behind your back. However, I think this is inherently a problem with men. Men will always find another excuse to cheat. If they’re bisexual, they’ll chalk it up to their sexuality and how you’re not being accepting enough. If they’re not bisexual, they’ll say they were in the closet about their polyamory. Or if they’re straight, they’ll say that you didn’t do enough… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 08:42 PM |
| 3 | How many other NVM phrases can you think of ?“You’re too needy” is my favorite NVM phrase. Also “you’re asking for too much.” Actually, I’ve met plenty of other guys that meet my needs, you just suck. I’ve had guys say girls are asking for too much when I advised them to start taking showers more frequently and wearing better clothes if they wanted more women to go on dates with them. Their standards are in hell. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 08:09 PM |
| 10 | How many other NVM phrases can you think of ?Lol it’s always too little too late. They only think about changing 3-6 months after you’ve broken up and they start getting lonely again | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 08:06 PM |
| 25 | How many other NVM phrases can you think of ?The worst part is that men actually love high maintenance women with standards. They just say they want low maintenance because they’re lazy and don’t wanna step up to the plate. But believe me, if they had the chance of course they’d date a high class model princess type. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 08:05 PM |
| 32 | AlcoholicsRemember that what a person does when he’s drunk still counts. “I was drunk” is an excuse manipulators and abusers use. If he cannot act like a decent human being when tipsy/drunk, leave at the first opportunity. Saying awful things, hurting other people or breaking things mean you should walk out immediately. If he cannot function or enjoy himself without a substance, that’s also a red flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 08:02 PM |
| 4 | "YoU ArE NegatIVe/sEnSiTivE" or just another gaslight tactic ?It shouldn’t matter whether you’re sensitive or not. If he cares, he would stop because hurting you hurts him. It’s called empathy. If he keeps pushing and making excuses and blaming you...he knows what he’s doing. He’s hurting you on purpose because he doesn’t care or worse, he’s a sadist that enjoys it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 02:29 PM |
| 12 | Hamlet is a titleAll my female friendships are so much deeper. Like I keep a small group of female friends and it is definitely quality>quantity and there’s so much support. I have guy friends too that are platonic and yeah, we have good times but literally make friendships are so shallow. I thought it was just me at first, but this is how males interact with each other too. They’re friends because they talk about one subject together or do one thing together. I have my “movie buff” friends where we hang out and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 02:35 PM |
| 4 | Q4FDS: Has the FDS sub improved your dating life in any practical sense?Dude, I’m 23...I’m in my youth now and I’m quite happy. I never hooked up with losers. I just wasted my time by going on a bunch of lame ass first dates because I felt like I had to give guys “a chance.” What I changed was how much vetting I did. Women have endless options. Instead of trying to reply to everyone, the key is investing in yourself and only going on a date or having a conversation if they already meet everything you’re looking for | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/20 12:11 AM |
| 18 | Q4FDS: Has the FDS sub improved your dating life in any practical sense?I’ve never posted here. I don’t post that often generally because I just lurk mostly. But yeah, things worked out for me after FDS. In the 6-8 months since finding FDS I got a new job and negotiated for higher pay, got my own apartment, starting treating myself to regular spa/eyelash appointments, got some nice jewelry as a treat, got a better haircut, started actually treating myself the way I want others to treat me, gained self confidence, lost 5 pounds to get to my goal weight (20 BMI, so sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/20 12:37 PM |
| 1 | Female PhD candidate is a club dancer at night because she does not get paid enough as a graduate student, another woman calls this empowering...I know male students that had to do much worse. There were gay men that turned to prostitution or sugar babying. I know many frat boys that donated sperm and actually made a killing. Too bad women don’t get paid to jack off... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/20 04:19 PM |
| 2 | Female PhD candidate is a club dancer at night because she does not get paid enough as a graduate student, another woman calls this empowering...Listen, not everyone has that option. You realize you have to qualify for loans, right? And what if you’re not sure whether you’d be able to pay those loans back? You don’t get to make financial decisions on behalf of economically distressed women. They know their own situation best. The point is that the world would be better for women if the only two options weren’t strip or take out loans. Imagine if jobs actually paid them more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/20 04:17 PM |
| 34 | Female PhD candidate is a club dancer at night because she does not get paid enough as a graduate student, another woman calls this empowering...Exactly! As someone who has friends that did this through college, it’s because no other job would pay them enough. They had near perfect SAT scores but they were still students and the best they could do was tutoring. Guess what! Tutoring doesn’t pay that much and a student doesn’t have time to work full time. Make college less expensive and pay more for tutoring/TA positions. They are economically pressured into it. No woman actually wants to be a stripper, they’re there for the money | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/20 08:15 PM |
| 24 | Success StoriesI was gonna say the same thing. I definitely stopped checking FDS less once I got into a relationship. But I’ve started checking it again as a nice reminder to always respect myself and keep my standards up | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 06:44 PM |
| 73 | Success StoriesI don’t want to brag but this sub has been a wonderful addition to my life and great wake up call. I spent 6 months or so getting my life order and leveling up. This includes negotiating higher pay, losing 10 pounds (back to size 0-2 jeans!!!), getting better skincare/makeup, buying myself nice jewelry as a treat, going to the gym regularly, learning the piano...basically I started treating myself well. And I became my own best boyfriend. Well, just by luck I also met my now boyfriend months lat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 06:07 PM |
| 7 | Would you give an unattractive guy a chance?Giving someone “a chance” is just doing something out of pity. It’s not good for you and it’s not good for the guy because it builds resentment. You’ll be resentful because he’s not appreciative of you giving him a chance and he’ll be resentful because he’ll realize that you pity him for being unattractive. Only say yes to people you enjoy and find attractive. Trust me, men out there are not “giving chances” to women and would never do the same for you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:01 PM |
| 23 | Stop praising decent human behavior as “HVM.” Seriously.Bingo. Men should be washing the dishes every time. Like, if you wanna win me over, start doing things around the house and be useful, you know? Washing dishes is easy. I washed dishes as a kid. It was part of my daily chore routine and there was no fantastic praise. If a 13 year old can do it, so can grown up men and it should be expected. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 01:45 PM |
| 3 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyIn person through a mutual hobby! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 05:22 AM |
| 3 | Did a man ever make you realize that you weren't expecting too much, it was that your previous boyfriends just had bare minimum value?They absolutely exist! Do not settle for less. You are worth it and i know now that I will never take shit from a LVM again. I cannot believe I let myself get treated like trash for years when clearly, I am worth it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 05:20 AM |
| 55 | Did a man ever make you realize that you weren't expecting too much, it was that your previous boyfriends just had bare minimum value?Yep. I used to think that I had to beg for attention and affection, that I was always too much- too loud, too busy for them, too “girly”, too high maintenance...they always made me think I was asking for too much. My current boyfriend cleans my room, organizes my closet, feeds my cat, washes the dishes and makes me coffee in the morning (if he wakes up first) all without me asking. The first thing he does when he wakes up is tell me that I am beautiful and that he is the luckiest man to be next … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/04/20 07:19 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020I wouldn’t say that my bf’s friend is a HVM, but he’s an average dude. even this average guy has managed to cook dinner every day and deliver it to his gf’s apartment. He puts it on her doorstep, walks six feet away and then calls her. Then she comes out, waves/blows him a kiss and takes the package inside. I guess the takeaway is that guys who like you will find a way to make it work? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/04/20 01:41 PM |
| 13 | Letting your man check out other women's body's is NOT how to keep him faithful.The HVM don’t do it because they don’t want to. They don’t have the desire because it feels like cheating to them. The guy I’m dating and other men I know say that they don’t want to check out other women because they don’t want anyone else. They don’t have a scarcity mentality and they are certain about the woman that they’re with. They know that the one they chose is better than anyone else and that the grass is not greener on the other side | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/20 04:01 AM |
| 18 | Positive note!Congratulations! Love that you guys are still celebrating. I think In this time of crisis, we are quickly seeing who around us steps up to the plate and who around us are just dead weight | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/20 06:42 PM |
| 7 | High value and LVmI’ve met a lot of dumbasses from Ivy League schools. I haven’t been impressed. I know friends who for Goldman, big 4, whatever and I outsmart all of them with my University of Houston degree lol. Status doesn’t mean shit. What matters is how they treat their fellow human beings | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/20 03:01 PM |
| 8 | Do men really like smart and intelligent women?Idk. I’ve been smarter than all my exes. My current boyfriend loves my intellectual curiosity. He says I look smart when he picks me up from work and loves when I talk about my job. He constantly tells me how lucky he is that he is with one of the smartest women he’s ever met. We value intellect in each other and he’s not looking for a submissive pretty face so it works out. The men who value you for you will appreciate intellect and personality. The others are insecure bastards looking for a se… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/20 02:52 PM |
| 14 | When you have a HVM, you won't have to beg for anythingThis is so true. I spent years telling myself that a relationship is HARD WORK that you have to SUFFER TOGETHER. That’s a fat lie. Too soon to say whether he’s a HVM but I have yet to really fight with my bf about anything. We don’t fight; we have calm discussions. He offers to do things before I even ask. He picks up on my body language and can tell when I’m getting grumpy and will ask me what’s wrong before I even realize I’m in a rut. Things are ridiculously easy in comparison | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/20 02:25 PM |
| 1 | What the meanest thing you’ve said to a guy who deserved it?I think a lot of those guys fall into the Nice Guy TM category. HVM are kind because they want to be kind. Romantic gestures are not a debt to be repaid; it is a gift. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 06:51 PM |
| 1 | What's your Meyers Briggs?ENFP | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/20 02:39 PM |
| 7 | How to confront a man on his mistakesListen. You deserve someone who values you and cares about you. There are good people out there! Until then, be kind to yourself and love yourself so that you’re sure of the goodness you deserve | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 03:39 AM |
| 13 | How to confront a man on his mistakesMen know when they’ve upset you. Intuitive men (green flag for picking up on details/body language) can tell when you’re shutting down and they feel bad about it because they have a sense of empathy and they don’t want to hurt you. He knows what’s going on. You can’t change him because he doesn’t want to change and doesn’t see a problem with hurting you in this way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 03:22 AM |
| 22 | Grading my boyfriend: Trying to figure out if my boyfriend is HVMThose are some really big red flags. Who wants to spend time with a guy that wants to make you feel bad about yourself? He’s so insecure that he can’t celebrate your successes. He’s so insecure that he likes when you’re smaller and would prefer that you’re dumber and is trying to lower your self esteem by comparing you to celebrities. He’s so insecure that he doesn’t really want you to build meaningful relationships with others and go out. He’s so insecure he lies about how tall he is and how bi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/20 12:58 AM |
| 19 | The bar is on the floor.🤢 that is the most vile thing I’ve ever heard | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 02:55 PM |
| 30 | The bar is on the floor.That’s such a HV move. My boyfriend did the same. He told me that he could go out and get whatever soaps/creams I needed because he didn’t have the same level of skincare collection I had haha. When they care, they go out of their way to make you comfortable | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 02:53 PM |
| 1 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyOh idk. We took it out to do everything but sex so I mean, I saw it. But to each their own and stuff. You do you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 01:23 AM |
| 8 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyYou would see it before you had sex..? Also not to be too much, but you can feel it even if you’ve got clothes on..? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 12:16 AM |
| 6 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyI consider it commitment. We are exclusive. And just because we haven’t had sex doesn’t mean we haven’t done other things before. Maybe this is too much but mostly Im interested in whether he’s good and enthusiastic about oral. He’s generous and will keep going without expecting anything in return and that’s pretty good enough for me. He does it like being allowed to is a gift, that’s special enough for me | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 11:03 PM |
| 5 | I have a bf and he makes me very happy❤️❤️❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 11:00 PM |
| 2 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyWait...really? I’m surprised because I’ve dated Spanish men in the past and they were quite affectionate. But maybe that’s because they were students in university..? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 10:28 PM |
| 3 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyOh I’ve never thought about that! Interesting...probably on the first date or two? But I think he was looking for something serious from the get go. He wasn’t looking to just hook up or have a quick lay | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 10:12 PM |
| 4 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyBoth! He and I would flirtatiously tough fingers or hand hands across the table. Or we’d hold hands in a museum. I typically will hold onto his arm if we’re walking on a street. I don’t think we actually kissed until the third date. We still flirt and give cute kisses but have moved slowly onto basically everything but penetrative sex now. Totally TMI but he’ll go down on me without expecting me to reciprocate because we’ve reframed sex to be about affection rather than aggressively trying to fi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 09:56 PM |
| 45 | What's this nonsense about "guys don't know when you like them"Even a shy guy will find courage if he likes you enough. Not making a move will keep him up at night if he’s absolutely enchanted. I know plenty of quiet introverts making the first move for the right woman. There’s no such thing as being too shy if she’s the one he really wants | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 07:01 PM |
| 12 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyI honestly just had to trust in essentially “waiting around.” Haha I did give him a flirtatious look when he first walked in, but sat back to wait to see if he would pursue. It sounds backwards at first, but our job is to weed out and choose from the men that come and pursue us. I had to learn that sometimes doing less is more | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 06:57 PM |
| 9 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyThank you 💕 And thanks to everyone for all the good advice | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 06:47 PM |
| 26 | I have a bf and he makes me very happyHe also didn’t give me that text at first. So when he said something along the lines of “I really like you” or something affectionate, I laughed and said “really? I actually didn’t think you were very serious about me because you didn’t seem to care too much for my safety.” He then of course asked about whether I felt safe at night (i guess safety doesn’t occur to a lot of guys), and I explained that my friends and family always make sure I get home safe. He then started to get an idea of the ki… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 06:40 PM |
| 50 | What the meanest thing you’ve said to a guy who deserved it?“This is why you’re alone. You’re a selfish asshole. You’d rather die than do anything that doesn’t directly benefit you.” It was only really mean because it was true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/20 03:02 AM |
| 8 | Experiences on dating metrosexual&feminine guys ?I like them as long as they’re not vein... I appreciate good style but I don’t want to be another accessory for them | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/20 08:35 PM |
| 28 | Do I have to disclose to my future boyfriends that I have breast implants?Definitely not. Same thing with your hair if you dye it. It’s none of their business and it’s not like they can really tell. Also, who cares if you got a little work done? They’re just upset because they either can’t afford to get work done or are insecure about their own features. It’s not lying because it’s not like your boobs just disappear at night..they’re yours, you bought em 😜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/20 10:47 PM |
| 8 | Idea: only tell details about yourself that you would like to get a gift about?I like to tell stories about amazing things that friends/family have gotten in the past for me. It raises the bar and sets an expectation that a boyfriend should do more than friends do for me. I texted a boy pictures of flowers once and said I got them from my sister because I was having a bad day. The following week, guess who showed up with some roses? I told a story of how another friend delivered a gift to me on my birthday even though she was in Europe...now I’ve got a few guys trying to o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/20 02:35 PM |
| 25 | Being my own boyfriend and getting myself late night dessert and coffeeThat’s the spirit! Honestly, why shouldn’t you have nice things??? Treat yourself! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/20 02:01 AM |
| 16 | FOR FUCKS SAKE, what kind of question is that?Lol amiwithanasshole indeed | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/20 11:15 PM |
| 2 | First time being actually singleOh I’m just taking some basic voice lessons from a friend of a friend haha it’s nothing serious but something I just wanted to try! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/20 01:44 PM |
| 3 | Why is it wrong to date older men?Half his age plus 7 is a good place to start. I’m 25 now. I dated one guy who was almost 30 when I was 19. Biggest mistake of my life. The guy had more money and would spend it, but he literally thought he was still 18. He wanted to hang out with my friends and relate to them and it was embarrassing. After a while it got pathetic because he realized that while I was young and improving my life, he was standing still. He eventually became jealous and resentful. Older guys date really young girls … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/20 10:49 PM |
| 63 | 80% of men desire only the top 20% of women.Pretty sure most men just get whatever woman they can get. They’re attracted to most women and will want most women. Quantity>quality in LVM minds. Don’t fall for the manosphere “women are too picky and only like the top 20% even if they don’t deserve it.” Equally, don’t fall for the reverse of men only want the top 20%. HV Individuals want different things- they want the right match that is tailored to them. Edit: btw I am agreeing with you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/20 03:47 AM |
| 88 | #1 Reason A Woman Will Leave a Man - Derrick JaxnFeeling more alone in a relationship than when I’m single? Too real 😭😭😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 04:07 AM |
| 15 | We need a sub called "Am I With An Asshole".Joining now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 01:49 AM |
| 21 | We need a sub called "Am I With An Asshole".I would love to see this sub created | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/20 01:01 AM |
| 27 | First time being actually singleAs someone who used to do this, some women really only feel worthy if they’ve got a boyfriend. I grew up in Texas where there’s still that old fashioned “you’ll die alone!!!” panic. I’ve moved to a big city up north since then, but it’s hard to shake off. I didn’t even know I had my own interests and hobbies because I was so used to bending to whatever my boyfriends wanted. You’re absolutely right about love and self worth not coming from a man. A ring on my finger from the most HVM couldn’t hav… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 06:54 PM |
| 4 | First time being actually singleThank you for all the encouragement 💗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 06:51 PM |
| 23 | How do a cultivate a circle of non-Pickme women friends?I like networking events because it’s also a good way to get a female mentor that can guide you. Also marathons are great. I know a lot of women join running groups and train together. I think those that have individual goals like this tend to have less pick-me behaviors because you learn to keep your sense of self rather than start and stop hobbies based on who you date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 06:50 PM |
| 5 | How much is normal for male friends to do for you?Depends on whether he would do the same for his guy friends. Some of my guy friends are genuine good people. I obviously built up the friendship over a long period of time, but once trust was established I knew they had my back. I’ve seen my guy friends go out of their way for other guys, for strangers, for family and for me and other platonic women. That’s consistent behavior. It’s shady if his behavior changes for each person or if he’s inconsistent. Then you know he’s just putting on an act | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/20 03:24 PM |
| 74 | Would you date a guy who earns less than you ?Don’t date someone who’s conventionally attractive if he’s not attractive to you. Attraction is subjective sometimes. For example, I tend to date shorter guys. It doesn’t bother me and I still find them quite attractive. Though I guess I also am a bit short. As for your question, I would date someone who made less than me as long as he wasn’t stingy, financially responsible and was able to keep up with my lifestyle. The money he makes doesn’t matter so much as the way he spends it. Ive had wealt… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/20 04:21 AM |
| 40 | How to justify a guy paying for the date if I realize I am definitely not interested?I do this sometimes. If I offer to split, it means we will not see each other again. I will not offer to split if the reason why we won’t see each other again is because he’s a jerk. This is only if I thought he was a good person but we just weren’t compatible | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 11:04 PM |
| 12 | Why is the (supposed) feminist media so invested in making women pay for dates?I definitely think things are improving. People are finally speaking up and that’s definitely a good thing. But there’s still quite a ways to go | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 11:02 PM |
| 197 | Why is the (supposed) feminist media so invested in making women pay for dates?Have you thought about who runs the “feminist media”? Yes, you have many female writers, editors, broadcasters, etc. But who’s in charge? If the media is so “feminist” why do we keep hearing about males harassing female colleagues? They frame it as feminist because then it’s trendy and their readership likes it. But don’t for a second believe that the media is feminist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 07:25 PM |
| 76 | Promise I’ll swear off LVM no matter how much I want the validation. It’s not worth it!We don’t need men to get us rings. But if they do get us a ring, it should be many times better than the one we bought ourselves 😉 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 04:16 AM |
| 31 | Stop Smiling So MuchSo I’m gonna push back a little...as a smiley/expressive person, my expressiveness is one of the qualities I like most about myself. I feel like if you naturally smile quite a bit, it’s misleading and misrepresenting yourself if you force yourself not to smile. I don’t want to pretend to be someone else. But like OP said, don’t pretend to like everything either. If you’re displeased, let the displeasure show on your face. Don’t try to stifle your negative feelings, let them show as you would you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 03:34 AM |
| 213 | Promise I’ll swear off LVM no matter how much I want the validation. It’s not worth it!Legit I’ve done this. I got an expensive ring to treat myself and told myself I’ll never date a guy who doesn’t like me enough to treat me as good as I treat myself | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 03:28 AM |
| 6 | I am lost for words 😞. If there is anyone reading this who is currently suffering from domestic violence please use this as a sign to leave. It only gets worst.Men always talk about how depression is so much worse for them on Reddit and then use high suicide success rates as proof...I wonder how many of those “suicides” were really just murder plus a suicide so that the man can get angry and “gain control” but avoid responsibility | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 02:31 AM |
| 2 | Entertaining A LVM?You might be okay with it for you, but also note that you are rewarding bad behavior. He’s going to think that he can continue to be LV because he has no incentive to change now | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 05:31 AM |
| 15 | The first time I came across one of these profiles 🤦🏽♀️Oh my god...I know a guy that used my photos from Facebook to do this!!! Stay vigilant | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 12:51 AM |
| 6 | Giving back giftsOh my god. That’s ridiculous. Like so manipulative and cold. Wtf | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 02:27 PM |
| 4 | Giving back giftsThank you. This is a really clear cut explanation and I appreciate it. I’m gonna keep it. I look good wearing it anyway...I guess if he makes a big fuss I can give it back, but only because we have mutual friends/hobbies | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 02:11 PM |
| 27 | Giving back giftsDrinks. And I know! I was shocked too! I sat there with my eyes and mouth wide open as he made promises for next time. Either way it’s not good. Scenario 1- he’s financially irresponsible and literally can’t pay. Scenario 2- he has lost his wallet which shows he is irresponsible. Scenario 3: he just doesn’t care enough about me. I’m leaning towards number 3. He’s probably just trying to see how much of a “cool girl” I can be. Ugh. What a waste and disappointment because I saw potential at first | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 06:13 AM |
| 54 | you’re single until there’s a ringThis sub is anti-cheating if that’s what you mean. HVW don’t cheat. For this sub, I think a lot of people are interested in marriage. That means they don’t become exclusive until they see a ring on their finger. I think you can adapt the rules as you like though...if you think you’re not interested in marriage or you’re too young for marriage, then you’re single until you got the title and everyone knows about it. Why are you exclusive If you’ve got no benefits and no loyalty? That’s kinda the p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:55 PM |
| 18 | you’re single until there’s a ringFirst rule: you’re not exclusive until you’re cuffed. If you don’t have a title/ring, you’re single! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:47 PM |
| 3 | Out of pure curiosity, how would you describe your own looks?I live in nyc, but also my older sister says I’m pretty but like “approachable pretty.” Meanwhile she’s like a few years older and drop dead gorgeous but she’s like intimidatingly pretty so fewer people talk to her and this fewer people buy her coffees. I smile quite a bit and if I’m nice to the barista/register person they’ll just say the coffee is on them. Kinda the same thing at bars. It’s kinda the luck of the draw though | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 09:52 PM |
| 16 | Something I've yet to see here+Always good to get a reminder of this. Any tips on de-escalation though? My fear is that if I try to really fight back, in the event that I fail, I have now pissed the predator off and am in more danger than before. Any practical tips would help. Thoughts on pepper spray vs guns vs just martial arts/wrestling techniques? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 06:28 AM |
| 21 | Tell me your Valentine’s Day plans: the good, bad, ugly. Preferably bad date storiesI mean...you’re welcome to dumpster dive on tinder if you want. You can advertise free sex or whatever to catch a frog, but this sub isn’t really about that. You are okay on your own. In fact, you are better on your own. Valentine’s Day is not just a commercial holiday, it’s my favorite holiday because it gives you a chance to reflect on the people you love, including yourself. Treat yourself and treat your friends. I arrived to work with a dozen roses and some fancy cookies waiting for me and n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 10:49 PM |
| 9 | Tell me your Valentine’s Day plans: the good, bad, ugly. Preferably bad date storiesLook cute and be alone! No shame in that. I will be getting some pink wine and ordering some food. Contemplating getting my lashes done tomorrow as well. Do a face mask. As women, we are single by choices. If we wanted to, we could grab a LVM for a date. I could get guys lined up around the block- but we don’t want that because we’d rather wait to be with someone that we actually enjoy. Remember that and get yourself something nice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 10:28 PM |
| 38 | Tell me your Valentine’s Day plans: the good, bad, ugly. Preferably bad date storiesLook cute and be alone! No shame in that. I will be getting some pink wine and ordering some food. Contemplating getting my lashes done tomorrow as well. Do a face mask. As women, we are single by choices. If we wanted to, we could grab a LVM for a date. I could get guys lined up around the block- but we don’t want that because we’d rather wait to be with someone that we actually enjoy. Remember that and get yourself something nice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 10:22 PM |
| 3 | What y’all single ladies doing to treat yourself for valentines?Guys, my friend sent me a dozen roses and another send a box of fancy cookies to my office. I’m so blessed! Those LVM could never. I’m currently thinking about ordering in food, unwrapping that necklace I got myself and getting a groupon for eyelash extensions. I’ve told the boys I can’t spend Valentine’s Day with them because we’re not serious enough (plus it’s too important for them to ruin by big meeting my expectations) but one of them is crafting a signature cocktail for me because that’s h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 09:25 PM |
| 15 | I’m having a hard time accepting HVM behavior and treatmentHave you tried going to therapy for yourself to see if you might have issues accepting gifts and nice treatment? If you’ve spent your entire life never really receiving anything or never being treated right, it can sometimes come as a shock. I know that I spent most of my life believing that I didn’t deserve the good things that happened to me...but I’m not a professional and I dont know you so I don’t wanna jump to any conclusions | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/20 10:34 PM |
| 2 | Out of pure curiosity, how would you describe your own looks?I’m hot and now I know it. I’m in my mid 20s and I take care of myself. I have a decent haircut, skincare routine and I dress professionally these days. I’ve always been told that I was “pretty” but I didn’t start believing it until I gained some confidence (thanks FDS). I’m pretty enough to get free coffees when I go out and I have women and men telling me, so I guess that’s something? I’d like to be a bit thinner I guess, but that’s something I’m always going back to. I go to the gym and have … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/20 02:33 PM |
| 34 | I have no idea what to make of this, to be honest. Just strange male behavior all around.Also he was there and said “ah okay.” And didn’t stop the guy...??? Like you were there and didn’t stop the guy. You can’t just decide you’re upset later, especially since you’ve also tried another woman’s milk. Men are fucking strange. I personally have never had a desire to try anyone’s breast milk. Wtf | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 01:24 AM |
| 4 | How did you figure out your career path?I think a good place is to start by making a list of things that you like and things that you do not like. An example: Likes- a social environment, detail oriented work, consistent work, set hours, working as a team Dislikes- working alone, solving technical problems, math, cyclical industries You can then weed out certain industries or give a green flag to other career paths. In this example, the person may not want to be an actuary as it tends to be technical and they often work alone. They ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 03:16 PM |
| 45 | Definitely leavingMy HS boyfriend saved all his money for a 4 star hotel room, because I always refused to get it on in a shitty place. We were 18...when men care/want you enough they find a way, even if they’re young. This looks like some hot trash unless he’s like 16 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 11:33 PM |
| 1 | Should I be suspicious?Hahaha you’re absolutely right. And I should definitely just relax. It’s his money and he chose the place. I didn’t force him to do anything | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 09:15 PM |
| 12 | It's not the Gift of Fear, it's a Shark Cage.We need to collectively standup for one another, especially young women. I’m sure most of you all already do this, but I really think it can make a difference if you show support and say that it’s okay to not want to be around someone that makes you uncomfortable- even if you’ve never seen the guy do anything explicitly. You don’t have to automatically try and throw the guy in jail, but acknowledging that a member of your group is uncomfortable with him is important | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 05:17 PM |
| 27 | It's not the Gift of Fear, it's a Shark Cage.Every time I’ve had a weird feeling about a guy, I’ve been right. But everyone around me would write it off. “He’s not creepy. He’s just friendly!” “Oh he doesn’t mean any harm, he’s just socially awkward!” “He’s not a predator, he’s just bad at taking no because he likes you too much.” Of course, I always end up feeling like the crazy one. And guess what, over time I start to normalize dangerous or weird behavior until it’s too late and I ignore my instinct automatically because I don’t want to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 04:51 PM |
| 17 | If you saw an “ex” in public, what would you do?I always always go straight to the gym and start investing in myself after a breakup. I’d hope I look and am happier than I’d ever been. That my body looks fucking amazing and my makeup looks on point. And when I see him, I can keep walking and ignoring him knowing that I was the best thing in his life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 03:38 PM |
| 6 | Should I be suspicious?Thank you 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 10:58 PM |
| 12 | Should I be suspicious?The entrees are like all over $50? Idk. Maybe it’s just because I’m pretty frugal about meals but I usually only spend around like $25 for entrees. Better just relax and accept it and tell myself “I am a woman deserving of nice treatment” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 10:58 PM |
| 31 | What do for Valentine's day?This is so true. Most men don’t want to be treated like women. They want to be treated and respected like men. While you may want to get your girl friends lots of gifts and they love it, most guys don’t love that. I had a previous boyfriend explain to me that getting too many gifts from a girlfriend is emasculating. That it makes him feel weak and that rather than being appreciative, some men confuse the action with pity and feel resentful. This is because men don’t have much of a culture of gif… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/20 03:22 PM |
| 22 | I support everyone's right to have standards, but like...Sounds like he just wants to build his own sex bot. He didn’t list any human characteristics. Nothing about hobbies and personality traits because he’s not interested in women, he’s interested in objects | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 11:24 PM |
| 27 | A date should be a treat.Exactly. Going out for coffee is just networking. UNLESS, this is a special coffee shop. Is it unique? Do they have your favorite coffee that’s blueberry infused and grown only in shade? Is it a local spot that is unique to the neighborhood? Again, it’s about effort. Coffee at Dunkin Donuts (unless you live in a place where this is considered unique and special) is not romantic and it’s not special. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 11:10 PM |
| 27 | What advice would you give to your 20 year old self? As a young woman,in terms of dating,self care,mental health etc?I’m 25 now. Invest in yourself. Be deliberate and clear about what you want and have a plan to go get it. Remember that talent is wasted if you don’t have the discipline to back it up. Motivation and inspiration disappears but strong habits do not. Be kind to yourself as you would be to the people you love. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself and aim to do better next time. Make lots of good female friends and get yourself a female mentor that can show you the ropes. Invest in yourself and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 01:59 AM |
| 55 | The LURE method part 2: Managing your scrotationI know I’m probably gonna get downvoted but I have to say something. I admire your social skills obviously and I like that you’re teaching helpful social tips for dating, but I just can’t get down with the terminology. I’m not dating “plates” the way the red pill boys are. I’m looking for love and to be loved back. And until I find that they’re actually jerks, they’re still people. It’s important to not put them on a pedestal. It’s important not to get too invested. But I never want to look at t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 01:43 AM |
| 6 | It’s February! Let’s open a thread for Valentine’s Day advice!!!Exactly. In HS, my boyfriend was an HOUR late to pick me up for Valentine’s Day. I told myself, never again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/20 07:48 PM |
| 8 | It’s February! Let’s open a thread for Valentine’s Day advice!!!I’ve got a few dates here and there as Valentine’s Day approaches but I’m not at the point where I’m serious with any of them and Valentine’s Day is really really important to me, so I’ve made plans with a group of friends. It’s my favorite holiday and there will be flowers and chocolates and wine and a fancy dinner. I’m getting my nails done and am considering getting a small Tiffany’s necklace or bracelet to celebrate (also because I got a pay bump. Yay!) . I finally feel like I can allow myse… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/20 07:00 PM |
| 25 | Sexual market place nonsenseSee, this is a much better interpretation! One of the biggest issues I see with these dummies that spout sexual marketplace nonsense is that they are unable to think in complex and abstract terms. Their critical thinking, observation and attention to detail is lacking. There is no nuance, which is why they can only come up with the economics 101 model that barely holds up in any real life example. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 07:01 AM |
| 16 | the myth about women’s pickiness.Preach. I once had a guy tell me I was shallow because I told him that I couldn’t date someone who only ever used mouthwash and never brushed his teeth. Be a real human being, then you can start thinking about dating | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 01:42 AM |
| 29 | Examples of HVM in mediaLiterally Arthur’s dad from the kid‘a cartoon, Arthur. The dad and the mom works as a team and he supports his wife’s career. He is seen cooking and cleaning around the house and is very involved with the kids and school. He gets annoyed but is never seen angry and screaming or violent. He is goofy and wholesome and In my opinion, the perfect HVM dad | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 03:50 PM |
| 8 | They hate being called outHe walked me back to my place. Not everything is over text. You can’t just block someone in person. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 01:34 PM |
| 8 | They hate being called outOooh! Thanks for pointing this out. I never knew about this acronym/ manipulation technique. I’ll keep an eye out for it next time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 01:00 PM |
| 6 | This wealthy 38M has strict requirements for the privilege of dating him. Too many to post, but “female applicants” must answer ALL questions (A-Z) to even be considered. It’s written like a business proposal, but I’ve seen less strict RFP’s in sales 🤣Wtf. How old is this guy? 18-20 years old!? I’m putting all my money on this guy is a predator that is like old-old. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 01:28 AM |
| 14 | What FOO (family of origin) issue created your current and/or former pickmeisha behavior?Tbh, I think school fucked me up. There’s such an emphasis on gaining praise from your teachers and outdoing other kids and I had a hard time getting away from that. I spent too much time trying to be likable. I think as a woman you also get trained by society to give your all to other people, to always be a helper, to always be generous, to never ask for too much. I never had a chance to stop and think about what I wanted for myself. The common mantra of “I’m happy if you’re happy,” is extremel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 01:22 AM |
| 23 | The “Hinge” dating and relationships app (among others) is bullshit.Men will use LinkedIn to try and fuck. They’ll use Twitter and Reddit to try and fuck. Either most men or an annoying vocal minority of men have infiltrated every online space to try and get their dick wet without any thought of self awareness | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 02:07 PM |
| 36 | LVM will sell you the lie that is ‘sex positivity’ more like sex depravitylol I bet he’s also one of those delusional guys that use terms like “alpha” and “beta” in ironically. Gross | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 02:04 PM |
| 60 | 42 year old man cheats on wife, gaslights her to believe its her fault through insulting her appearance and smell, then is surprised she doesn’t want sex. Nah, sis.Shocker. If someone insulted me like that, I’d never wanna have sex with them again either. Wtf. What did he think was gonna happen?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 01:55 PM |
| 36 | Has anyone actually found any of these elusive HVM?HVM exist. My roommate is a HVM- he and his gf have one of the most wonderful relationships I’ve ever seen. I’m friends with his gf, and she tells me about how emotionally open he is, how he is a good listener and is willing to make sacrifices for the relationships, etc. he works hard and contributes around the house and keeps my standards in check when I come back from Dates. He wouldn’t be caught dead not paying for his gf when out on a date and he makes less than I do. When he can’t spend ton… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 04:54 AM |
| 22 | Most interesting/helpful thing this sub has taught you?Always have a female best friend you can depend on, that you will never have a romantic spark with. You want someone with clear eyes and a more objective view that has your best interests in mind. Also, it is easier to date and have a healthy relationship if you have a strong sense of self. Being clear about what you like and don’t like, your boundaries and your own support group will make it harder for abusers to control you. It also makes it easier for you to pick out guys that you do really l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/20 04:09 PM |
| 16 | I slept with a friend of mine and now I'm taking this step.I agree with this. If he actually cared about you, he’d treat you as such. I know you think you’re friends, but this guy just showed his true colors and he no longer cares to treat you nice because he already got what he wants. The best thing you can do is forget this LVM and move on | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 03:10 AM |
| 16 | during the vetting phase; what can and can't you tell a man about yourself?Do talk about your hobbies and your passions. Talk about your interests in pop culture, etc and see if he likes the same music or movies. If he asks, you can give a little info about your job and why you like it. But I typically let the guy lead because I’m chatty and need to make sure I don’t disclose too much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/20 04:15 AM |
| 11 | This essay made me so sad. Glad this author wised up!This piece is what made me break up with my last ex. My last boyfriend wasn’t abusive. He wasn’t a criminal or a horrible person. But he always made me feel like I was asking for too much... then I woke up and realized-no, I’m not asking for too much. He’s just giving me too little. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/20 04:04 AM |
| 25 | Is it a red flag when a man says he likes the book Lolita?On that note, avoid anyone who says that they want to be like the guy from American Psycho or that they’re “basically chuck bass” from gossip girl. I’ve seen/heard a lot of that and it’s ridiculous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/20 10:30 PM |
| 10 | Just the usual men tripping over to convince themselves that being attracted to teenage women is biology 🙄Literally, I didn’t even get my period until I was almost 15. My period didn’t become regular until I was 19. I see my pictures at 16 now and I look like a child, not even close to looking like a full grown woman. Puberty absolutely is a process and I wasn’t done growing for a while. My boobs didn’t fill in until 18 either. I’m a late bloomer in this age (because I was an athlete) but if you wanna talk about “nature” and “back then” most people didn’t start puberty until 14/15ish. We have women … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/20 02:59 PM |
| 7 | Ladies - how do you make sure you’re a high value woman?I’m gonna go with : I put in effort. Both HVM and HVW are about effort. I try and put in the effort to put my best foot forward every day and I think the women here do too. That means I try and bring my best self to the gym, to work, to friends and with my partners. We all have bad days, but we’re trying to be better every day. I’ll make goals for fitness or for my career. I try and think about what I want and then develop a plan to follow through. I try to be generous when I can and reciprocate… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/20 12:37 AM |
| 0 | Potential HVM?Best of luck! I hope he’s a good one 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/20 05:06 PM |
| 10 | Potential HVM?A HVM is a lot like a HVW. It boils down to- they know what they want and they have a plan to get it. I think one of my friends is a HVM or at least pretty close to one. One of the biggest differences from other LVM that I’ve seen is that even in dating, he leaves a relationship once he realizes that they’re not compatible. He knows exactly what he’s looking for in a woman for a long term relationship leading to marriage. He’s direct with his intentions and generous with his time/effort to the w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/20 04:29 PM |
| 138 | This was on the Front Page. This is what a HVM looks like. This is someone who really values his partner.It’s effort and observation. You can tell he really pays attention to her facial expressions and can guess what her reaction might be because it’s all reflected in the animation. The princess literally makes the same expression as her and it’s so cute 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/20 11:15 PM |
| 12 | Giving up sorryFirst, remember that your first true love is always yourself. I think it is important for every woman to keep track of things that she finds attractive about herself. It is easier to be loved and to love others when you know how to love yourself. It’s also easier weed out guys that don’t treat you well and recognize the ones that do. There is a kind of beauty that comes from within, even if you do not check all the aesthetic standards. Confidence and happiness is often reflected in body language… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 11:26 PM |
| 2 | From R/NoSo(couldn't cross post) This is so DISGUSTING and ultimate low. A grown man and pissing on the floor and expecting his wife to clean it.🤮🤮🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 09:31 PM |
| 19 | From R/NoSo(couldn't cross post) This is so DISGUSTING and ultimate low. A grown man and pissing on the floor and expecting his wife to clean it.I feel like I’m always seeing stories about men peeing and pooping everywhere and never wiping properly. AITA has a post about a guy “accidentally” getting poop on a sofa because he sits nude and “forgot to wipe.” Funny how you never see posts about women leaving bodily fluids everywhere. How is this possible? How do men grow up without ever being taught to be a human? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 08:44 PM |
| 11 | Let's talk about self-improvement...I’m a positive person. I know I have a big heart and that gets the best of me because sometimes I just want to give people a chance. Learning to turn down people, even on casual first dates, was a life saver. Before I went into it thinking, just go to be nice and give him a shot because he has some other good traits. I let people off the hook for being “clueless.” They know what they’re doing and they don’t need a pity date from you. I don’t need to be a bob the builder and teach him things like… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/20 03:56 AM |
| 7 | Am I being ungrateful?Oh if he doesn’t know, I think you should tell him. Be gracious and thankful but also let him know that when he’s getting the gold ring that you wanted, you also want to choose a real diamond. You can be gracious and still get what you actually want. We are too old to be wearing things we don’t wanna wear | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 08:38 PM |
| 15 | Men who justify their double standards with "finding sex is easy for women, but requires tons of work from men, so women with a high body count are bad but men admirable":Lol exactly. Also just because something is more difficult doesn’t mean it’s better or more impressive. Like, it’s pretty fucking difficult to pick your nose with your tongue. Few people can do it, you’d need both a longer tongue and/or a longer nose...but it’s not impressive or something you should be proud of. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 03:29 AM |
| 21 | Questions about age. Ideal timeline to find HVM?I’m gonna agree with the comment above. Honestly, I wouldn’t be super worried about finding a HVM because I think they exist at most ages, just like LVM are everywhere. Instead, focus on weeding out the ones that you don’t want. Men of all backgrounds and values will flock to you if you just take care of yourself (have a job, have some kind of fitness regimen, better yourself as a person as most women already do) For men, it’s the opposite- they’re actively searching and jumping through hoops be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 02:34 AM |
| 30 | One of my proudest moments: my ex threw a temper tantrum when I told him the full extent of my sexual historyI always like to say that I’m a born again virgin lol. Guys don’t need to know that I’ve ever re-set my count. These days I only really count the ones that were very very meaningful to me. So I guess my count is at 4 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/20 11:21 PM |
| 131 | Pickmeisha gets owned! [From r/technicallythetruth]If you’ve ever published anything, it doesn’t make sense to change your last name. You don’t want to erase your work history. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/20 07:35 PM |
| 23 | Thoughts on sugar babies?The biggest problem in my opinion is that there’s no accountability here. You can argue that this is a fair transaction and that everyone is on the same page, you can have dozens of arguments about feminism and about whether this is moral, etc. However, because there is no third party overseeing the transactional relationship, there’s no accountability for the man. There is a very high chance that you might be kidnapped, raped, hurt or not compensated correctly. And if these things happen to you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/20 03:30 AM |
| 122 | Found this post on Reddit, he seems like a real catch! SmhEw. Again, how are guys so entitled? It’s like women only exist to serve them as slaves. What self respecting woman would be down for this!?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 07:48 PM |
| 39 | If guys have anything, it’s unearned confidence. Ladies, build up your self esteem!That and he couldn’t even get a real bio out. And he’s standing shirtless in a dirty bathroom and he’s not even flexing to get a good body pic. Couldn’t be bothered to shave stray hairs. Like all my girl friends obsess over whether they look good, whether their messages are clever or make sense and we got boys over here putting up profiles without even a second read. Man, I’d be so much further in life if I had just an ounce of that unearned confidence to negotiate for more salary or just put my… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 04:38 AM |
| 35 | What are the last words your ex said to you?“I’m sorry and I miss you.” That cheating mf Also “How could you move on that quickly? Did you even love me?” From my own recent ex, who was actually a really nice guy but felt I was too young to get married. Maybe he shoulda tried to keep me if he was gonna expect me to stick around | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 02:50 AM |
| 11 | What are some of your dealmakers?Ambitious and tenacious in the face of adversity. I like when a guy reveals that he worked hard to get to where he is or when a problem arises and he is quick to find a solution rather than pouting and giving up. I like guys with a real plan about where they want to go in life. None of that “uhhh I don’t know. We’ll see where it goes” crap. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 12:55 AM |
| 37 | I am trying not to cry I am happyCONGRATULATIONS!!! You got this. Best of luck, we’re all rooting for you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 12:52 AM |
| 20 | This joke really illustrates the LVM mindset. Having a job, loving kids, looking nice, "helping" with chores, working to maintain a romantic spark? Most women easily bring all this to the table, AND manage your health and social life, make an effort in bed, etc. Yet men expect worship just for thisHonestly, I don’t mind small stuff. But he’s just rotting in the filth of his own room and I don’t know how no one in his life has managed to have an intervention yet. Do men think this is okay!?? Meanwhile, I saw another post on Reddit about how a guy was losing attraction to his wife because she got fat during pregnancy. Wtf. Women gotta have your child AND stay skinny??? Why are the standards for us sky high and theirs in the ground? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/20 12:29 AM |
| 40 | This joke really illustrates the LVM mindset. Having a job, loving kids, looking nice, "helping" with chores, working to maintain a romantic spark? Most women easily bring all this to the table, AND manage your health and social life, make an effort in bed, etc. Yet men expect worship just for thisThe bar for men is on the floor and their parents (usually encouraged by the dad) enable it. My male roommate is 28 and his dad paid his annual rent up front. He sleeps on a twin mattress on the floor. He didn’t use toilet paper until I bought it. I had to buy soap and towels. He still doesn’t know when to take out the trash... I have never met a woman this incapable of taking care of herself. Men aren’t competing with other men. There is no competition. They’re competing with the idea that wome… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 10:46 PM |
| 9 | How to avoid becoming a starter wife?I’m young and living in nyc. Guys here are immature and don’t get their shit together until like 30/35+. But any guy that old that wants to date me is also likely a predator. I’m far more successful than most guys my age, many of whom don’t know how to take out the trash or still sleep on a floor mattress. 😐Should I just stay single and wait it out? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 04:49 AM |
| 1 | Jobs that can be green flags?😭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 12:57 AM |
| 27 | Jobs that can be green flags?Promoters. “Actors” who have never once actually had a real gig. “Models” who have had no real success. Cops. Software nerds that don’t interact with people in the office and thus have never learned to read body language. Also lawyers in the private sector | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 12:34 AM |
| 12 | Reading Ali Wong's new book "Dear Girls". She gets it.The only time I pay is when I know I won’t be seeing them again. I let them pay for dinner, then I pay for a coffee/dessert to end on a “sweet note”and tell them or text them that there won’t be another date. I only do this to be nice and so that when they wanna flip the tables and accuse me of using them the entire time, I’ll say no, I just paid for dessert. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/20 11:03 PM |
| 7 | I hate this time of year and today exemplify why no one will ever have your back, except you.Hang in there! We’re gonna start 2020 off on a fresh note. You just took a great weight off your shoulders by leaving behind unreliable people. Don’t waste your time caring and being good to selfish monsters. Be good to you and surround yourself with people that treat you right. I know it hurts, but you’re gonna look back 12 months from now and think “thank god they’re not around to let me down again” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/20 05:38 AM |
| 4 | What are your NYE plans?Dinner and cocktails with friends then going to a NYE event at a bar! For the first time, I’m not dragging around a grumpy SO who just wanted to stay home and do nothing and I’m kind of excited!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/19 11:59 PM |
| 4 | What are your NYE plans?Dinner and cocktails with friends then going to a NYE event at a bar! For the first time, I’m not dragging around a grumpy SO who just wanted to stay home and do nothing and I’m kind of excited!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/19 11:59 PM |
| 12 | [Discussion] Would you keep a male pickmeisha?I think pickme’s probably would flip as soon as you start giving them too much validation though. A pick me is not a permanent identity. I had also been a pick me. And many of us, men and women, had acted and become pick me’s because of some kind of underlying childhood trauma or insecurity. It’s self destructive because these anxious over pleasing types chase people who will never be satisfied and will never value them by nature. A lot of it is subconscious behavior like how anxious attachment … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/19 07:30 PM |
| 77 | Of course none of the famous couples are a disabled woman and an able manI mean..I don’t feel like there’s anything wrong if they’re truly in love. Like maybe if they’re actually good men who go above and beyond in other areas, it doesn’t matter too much that they need help in certain areas. It’s unfair to say that women and men with disabilities are never deserving of love or a relationship. But I agree with you in that a woman should never date someone out of pity. Part of being human is knowing that you’re not perfect and helping each other. It’s only a problem if… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/19 03:13 AM |
| 37 | Poly/Open Relationships: A RantI’ve seen guys just outright lie and say that they’re in a poly relationship when they’re not. I know, because I’ve got texts from surprised girlfriends and had to tell them the bad news. And I had an ex that used MY photos for an OLD profile so he can trap cuter girls (I was the looker in the relationship). He would lie and say that we were poly and that they would eventually meet me. Liars all around. I hope they rot in hell | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/12/19 03:50 PM |
| 54 | Men complain endlessly that women don’t find most men attractive but most men put no real effort into being attractive. The men of PPD think basic adult standards are unreasonable and too high.Lol one guy told me he doesn’t need to wear deodorant because he “doesn’t smell bad” and “showers everyday .” Do guys think they don’t have to wear deodorant if they shower regularly!?? Do guys think they don’t have to shower if they wear deodorant!? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/19 08:07 PM |
| 46 | Leveling up: Are you your worst fuckboy?I love this! This year, I just got a bonus and I’m expecting a promotion/raise, so I’m gonna stop being a cheapskate on myself. I got some new facial masks that I’ve been wanting and I’m gonna start getting my nails done more on the regular because I can actually afford it. I also got myself some new clothes that are a bit pricier but I’ve been holding out for a while and it’s time that I let go of only buying things when I really really need them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/19 03:03 AM |
| 13 | When is it okay to "kink-shame"? Why do guys insist that these are normal desires to have?Always haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/19 12:43 AM |
| 41 | HELP! Polyamory + HVM (Long, but I really need help here)I have never seen polyamory work out for the woman. Never ever. What good is a HVM if you want marriage and he can’t give you what you want? Also you can argue that this HVM loves you and his wife equally but there are only so many hours in a day. You are automatically splitting his affections with his wife. So he might be a HVM but you’re only getting half a HVM and I’d rather try to find someone else than to settle with half a man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 10:19 PM |
| 94 | When is it okay to "kink-shame"? Why do guys insist that these are normal desires to have?Ew. Please kink shame. Pee on you!? Wtf. There’s bacteria in that. Also it sounds like he was abusive and never even asked for permission. Listen, people like what they like or whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to accept them and their weird desires. In fact, I would argue that you should leave them to be alone with their weird kinks. People just scream kink shaming to pressure women into doing stuff they don’t wanna do. Nobody is stopping the guy with a sandwich fetish from fucking a sand… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 10:12 PM |
| 53 | Of course! My husband gives zero fucks about me and checks out other women because my pussy stink! Poor boomers grew up with the teachings of the “greatest” generation.Exactly. The stinky vagina thing is a myth. I’ve been with enough women to know what’s up and it doesn’t smell bad. It smells like sex and that is natural. You’re not supposed to smell like a flower. Meanwhile, guys are sitting in poopy underwear and ball sweat. Tell me, who’s the one that smells bad again? Classic male projection. Women know their body best and you will know if you have BV and actually smell down there. Do not let guys insult you like this | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 09:56 PM |
| 7 | Glad to find a platform for female empowerment in dating that doesn't glorify sex workIf this is your best option as a woman, you should take it. If stripping or other types of sex work is your way out of an abusive relationship or a ticket out of poverty, I am in no place to judge. This is hard work. I only judge dumb college girls from rich families who want to go into it to “find themselves” or “experience and empower myself through sexuality.” Like shut up and stop taking away cash from the women who desperately need it. The strip club doesn’t need more young dumb rich girls … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 09:41 PM |
| 7 | Glad to find a platform for female empowerment in dating that doesn't glorify sex workLol if we had socialism, men would say that women should just sleep with everyone for free! And if you want nice things or have standards, you’re a capitalist pig and shallow. “Love is not a commodity. Love and sex is for everyone and should be shared”- men probably smh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 09:34 PM |
| 15 | The sheer majority of people on OLD are menProbably because there are a lot of cheating losers and because LVM keep getting back on to prey on women after getting dumped. The women I know have decided they’d rather be alone than be with deadweight losers. Meanwhile my single guy friends, even the better ones, are desperately trying to get a date | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/19 12:58 AM |
| 148 | Glad to find a platform for female empowerment in dating that doesn't glorify sex workSex work only exists because young women aren’t valued for any of their other skills. A woman straight out of college with a proper degree would make more money as a prostitute or stripper (at least in the short term) than a teacher or tutor because society (run by men) values sex and getting off more than educating young minds. Women wouldn’t turn to sex work if they had other higher paying options. For younger uneducated women, this is frequently the only way they can reasonably make money. Wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/19 11:07 PM |
| 146 | Being a Pick me= slaveryIronic because John Lennon famously treated his wives like shit, and of course his son too-which is why the song “hey Jude” exists | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/19 11:01 PM |
| 39 | Women: Birth Control Causes me agonizing ongoing pain both physically and mentally. Men: BUT HWAT ABOUT MUH PENIS?!! CONDOMS SUCK. YOU HAVE TO MEET US HALFWAY!!😡😡🤦♀️ (Scrotes mad about my last post)Wear a condom AND pull out. That’s the only way. I refuse to have sex otherwise because I don’t trust these dummies | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/19 01:36 AM |
| 22 | There's no such thing as a "looksmatch". Don't let ugly men make you feel bad about your high standards or shame you into dating them!I wish I can pin this. It doesn’t matter how hot you are, certain guys will always be chasing another high. Or if they stay, if they’re in this mindset where you’re just a trophy. I had one guy that kept photos of me and would just show various pictures of me to guys and gals. And then he would report back to me like it was some kind of accomplishment...”they all said you were super hot.” “They said you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever dated.” Like, good for you? Obviously we broke up because I was… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/19 03:49 PM |
| 22 | Why is it so hard to find support when choosing NOT to take birth controlI just got off BC. I feel like it gave me bad skin and made me gain a bit of weight or at the very least, I feel like I was going to the gym but wasn’t improving much. I was also hungry all the time. Like I felt like I was always starving. I got off it, and wow, it’s like my appetite is gone. I figure if I wanna have sex, he can wear a condom AND pull out. I wanna be extra safe | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/19 02:43 AM |
| 38 | Husband gets wife a vacuum for Christmas in 2019 and doesn’t understand why she’s mad.Maybe she should get him a penis pump. It’s a gift! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/19 04:59 PM |
| 3 | Reclaiming my self-confidenceWow! You’re amazing and so accomplished. It’s so good to see women find this sub and realize their potential so young. I wish I hadn’t spent my high school years trying to desperately chase guys or worse, allow them to walk all over me. Good for you! Show off your accomplishments and feel confident, I’m so happy for you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/19 01:55 PM |
| 21 | Potential quality guy wants to fly me out to meetDo not fly out and get trapped there. It can be very dangerous and he will have the upper hand when you’re on his turf. He can come see you if he cares that much | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 04:00 AM |
| 113 | Nice Guys, Here’s Why You *REALLY* Got Rejected.My number one reason: you’re really bad at reading body language. If I’ve ever said “you’re really nice but I don’t think we’re compatible,” it’s because I don’t want to trigger an angry violent response but also because you’re probably not a bad person but lack the social skills to date me. If you’re awkwardly trying to grab my hand or you can’t tell that I’m uncomfortably pulling away, I can guarantee that this won’t work. It’s not about being more physically aggressive or looking more like a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 03:57 AM |
| 69 | Men who refuse to buy flowers are LV by defaultA guy once told me I was “silly” for liking flowers and wanting them. Notice that everything a woman enjoys is “silly” or “superficial.” Wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self to get my own damn flowers instead of hanging around cheap losers. When I dated women, I got them flowers. It’s like $10. Who doesn’t have $5-$10 to spend on a cute girl’s smile? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 11:47 PM |
| 13 | have any of you ladies experienced a man who wanted to wait longer than you for sex?The person I was with was determined to hold it off because he had been burned by jumping into a previous relationship for the sex. He knew what he wanted, which was a long term relationship leading to marriage. He wanted to make sure we were compatible in all the other ways before getting hooked on the sex. There ended up being other problems and I wasn’t ready to get married at the time, but it was admirable I think. Also everything down there worked- typically you can see or feel that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 11:41 PM |
| 3 | How to keep myself busy?this. Everything I do is pretty digital so making something concrete is great. One cheap thing I learned to do as a student was cook. Make meals for your friends and roommates. Learn to cook a cute meal for your parents. Drawing is something I do on my own to get creative and I try to journal as well to keep myself sane. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 10:57 PM |
| 7 | Dating Older Men in Your 20s = Guaranteed Trauma?We just stopped hanging out frequently. Now once a year we’ll catch up or something and it’s not really a romantic thing anymore. We’ll go do something fun and there’s no touching or romantic expectation. I guess that maybe he’s lonely or likes my company or just wants to be seen with a cute girl but has the decency to know that it would be too much of a gap to have a sexual/romantic relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 01:55 PM |
| 12 | Dating Older Men in Your 20s = Guaranteed Trauma?Shit. Wait. Does this guy live in NYC? I feel like I’ve heard a similar story before | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 05:44 AM |
| 37 | Is this what hitting the wall is like?Killing it! Also I know I’m only in my 20s, but do you have any tips on how to keep looking good/feeling good over the years? You’ve clearly have plenty to pick from, and I’m assuming that this is likely because you’ve worked hard to maintain certain aesthetics, you’ve cultivated an attractive personality and you probably also benefit from good genetics. I’d appreciate any advice you have for someone a bit younger. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 05:20 AM |
| 16 | A rapist wants to know if he should have continued his rape after she started crying.I almost threw up reading the original post. I really really hope this is a fake story. But men are just so delusional, they’ll bend over backwards trying to justify or explain what is clearly rape. I just feel so sad for the girl and I wish I could send a rescue crew in case she’s being held hostage or something because with this creep, who knows | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 04:54 AM |
| 6 | What are some fun things to do alone?If you have the time/money, go take a class! Pure barre classes, yoga, dance classes are great even on your own and it’s a nice chance to chat and meet new friends if you’re feeling social. I go to museums or movies alone as a treat or I’ll go to a restaurant I’ve wanted to try- I live in NYC and this is actually pretty common so I don’t feel unsafe or self conscious here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 04:49 AM |
| 11 | And there it is: men are so desperate, they’ll ask you out on LinkedIn. We talked for maybe 10-15 mins at a networking event and it’s been more than 12 months. Remember, women have our pick- this guy works at a nice PE firm but clearly has few optionsI haven’t read the LinkedIn’s terms. Guess I better get familiar. At worst, this guy is a serial creep. At best, he’s clueless and pathetically desperate. I feel kinda sad for him but also I think what a lot of FDS women keep telling me is that we need to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 04:45 AM |
| 6 | Is it infidelity to masturbate to the thought of real people?I feel like if you’re on your own, that’s okay and if they’re not real people, it can still be healthy. It seems like you’re thinking of fantasy men with personalities and physical features that you like. That’s totally normal. There are book characters and movie characters and fantasy men that I think about sometimes. But it’s not all consuming, I am very much aware it is a fantasy and I’m not trying to pursue these fake beings. I believe what you’re doing is different from the men that fantasi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 04:40 AM |
| 27 | Dating Older Men in Your 20s = Guaranteed Trauma?I went on dates with someone significantly older when I was in college that was nice. He was 10+ years older and we are still in touch. You know what the difference is? He stepped back and had the self control and self awareness to explain to me that an age gap like this would not work in a proper relationship. He said he enjoyed my company, would be happy to take me out to nice places, but that we would never connect properly because we are just not in the same space. He encouraged me to find s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 04:09 AM |
| 10 | And there it is: men are so desperate, they’ll ask you out on LinkedIn. We talked for maybe 10-15 mins at a networking event and it’s been more than 12 months. Remember, women have our pick- this guy works at a nice PE firm but clearly has few optionsI’m so sorry that happened to you. I used to have creeps do that to me when I worked in restaurants during HS/college and I always felt trapped. If you can, I would let your boss or manager know what’s going on. Do not let anyone minimize the potential threat of this situation. I think a lot of older men see women in hospitality as easy targets and it’s much better to be safe than sorry. Make sure he doesn’t keep coming back to harass you and make sure you’re not being stalked. If you see a patt… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 04:01 AM |
| 16 | And there it is: men are so desperate, they’ll ask you out on LinkedIn. We talked for maybe 10-15 mins at a networking event and it’s been more than 12 months. Remember, women have our pick- this guy works at a nice PE firm but clearly has few optionsLinkedIn is for professional networking. He wasn’t being aggressive and rude in the message but this is absolutely the wrong medium for dating. This is something he already knows. He acknowledged that this is a low key creepy/socially unacceptable thing to do by saying that he tried to hold back. Also for more context, if you knew my job and title, you would know that even outside of LinkedIn it would be absolutely inappropriate for him and I to have a nonprofessional relationship like this. So … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 03:53 AM |
| 7 | Is my ex becoming a HVM? Should I give him another chance?Never invest in potential. Anyone can show promise for 6 months. Idk how long he’s been your ex for but if it’s a recent breakup, I’d give it space. Unless it’s been years and he’s shown consistency, this is just potential and not a reality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 09:10 PM |
| 38 | Why do men expect you to be their therapist?I’m gonna just make that my automatic answer whenever some guy I don’t know unleashes like a decade of emotional trauma on me in a bar. Like, I’m a nice person. I care about people. But trapping me in a conversation about a shit childhood when I’m out with friends is cruel. “Damn that sucks.” And just walk away | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 05:33 PM |
| 16 | DO NOT SETTLE LADIESHe’s crazy and that’s not your fault, remember that. I hope you’re in a better place now and that FDS will help you keep your sanity. I didn’t realize how much gaslighting my exes did until I joined this sub. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 07:18 AM |
| 19 | Why being an asshole worksI’m assuming that she’s talking about flirtatious behavior. Being a total doormat is not attractive or flirtatious. If you’re flirting, it’s okay to challenge them a bit. Don’t be mean, per se, but tease and challenge them. If you’re having a conversation, sometimes it’s more fun if you challenge them on their beliefs and start a friendly debate vs taking their word as gospel. If you’re playing a game, get a little competitive. Get a little cocky if you’re winning rather than being humble and bo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 06:59 AM |
| 38 | DO NOT SETTLE LADIESDude. Wtf. I would have walked out! Fuck that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 06:49 AM |
| 25 | Milk vs wineYo he did it to himself | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/19 03:30 PM |
| 2 | STD talk - How do you handle it before sex?Idk. Has he tried to initiate sex? If he’s initiating sex, that’s where I stop things and say “if you want to continue, it’ll have to be after you get properly tested.” That way, I don’t look presumptuous | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/19 06:01 AM |
| 50 | STD talk - How do you handle it before sex?I have never had sex with someone without getting their papers first. I need a PDF or printed copy with the date on it. I will still use a condom, obviously. Every guy has gone along with this. I told them that I take sex very seriously and I take care of my body and that if they want to be with me, I expect them to follow this standard as well. I have never had a guy have a problem with this. If they do have a problem, they’re telling on themselves. Asking for proper tests will make you look re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/19 04:51 AM |
| 11 | Men on reddit like to constantly bring up this graph to show that men are attracted only to young women, while blatantly ignoring the fact that these women are attracted to men THEIR OWN AGEReal talk. Should I shame them and point out how awful the shot they took was? Usually I just diffuse the situation by saying “no thanks. I’m not interested.” But maybe I should be pointing out that they need to be not creeping on such young women? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/19 04:38 AM |
| 28 | Men on reddit like to constantly bring up this graph to show that men are attracted only to young women, while blatantly ignoring the fact that these women are attracted to men THEIR OWN AGEI’m 26. I’ve had men older than my father try and take me home. I have to ask, like sir are you out of your mind??? Are you like senile and just live in an alternative reality??? I’m in good shape, I’m objectively pretty (I mean, I sometimes work on TV and they told me I look good on camera), and I am easily like 30 years younger than you. I’m legit concerned that these old, balding, wrinkled guys with a wife and grown kids older than me think they have even a 1% chance of taking someone as youn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/19 03:47 AM |
| 66 | Not a peep for weeks and then hits me up for “wine and chill”...blocked!It’s fucking gaslighting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 04:32 AM |
| 10 | I refuse to kick my dog out of bed for a low value male (Never settle--even in your 50s!)Guys say girls are childish for watching reality TV or whatever but I’ve seen grown men throw tantrums and cry about video games or sports. I can say I have never seen a woman act so immature. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 12:27 AM |
| 3 | How do you guys go about birth control and contraceptives?Good tip. But also, if a guy wants it enough, he’ll also go out and get one. Like legit drive to go get some. Once you have it known that you won’t compromise your values, he’ll never forget to bring one again | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/19 01:44 PM |
| 7 | Men will rise to meet your expectationsGlad you’re on board. This sub has opened up my eyes. I listened to a male coworker brag about his engagement and wedding today. He talked about how he spent months planning, how he picked out a perfect diamond and had it set in a ring with a custom design, etc. You know what he didn’t brag about? How little effort he put in. I realized in that moment, plus this date, that guys love to brag about putting in a lot of effort into their relationships. No one brags about how they bought the cheapest… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/19 04:21 AM |
| 104 | OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Of What Use Is A Man to A Woman? Males, come justify your existence to FDS in the comments! The Floor Is Yours!Women don’t “need” men. We choose to be with men that treat us with respect and kindness. That’s why it’s upsetting to see such entitlement from men I think. Guys who treat women as individuals with respect should have no problem with dating. We just want to weed out the duds that objectify and feel entitled to the women around them. If you’re a decent guy, FDS is in your favor. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/19 11:15 PM |
| 3 | Men will rise to meet your expectationsI met him at a Halloween party/event. I was actually chatting with some of his friends first while he was in the bathroom. But we hit it off and he bought me a drink. I was gonna leave but he asked for my number and followed up! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/19 02:55 AM |
| 2 | Men will rise to meet your expectationsOhhh thank you! I’ll check it out sometime | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/19 02:53 AM |
| 72 | Do Pickmeisha’s even know how bad they look?I just think the world is very unfair for girls and they grow up to be women who are pick mes. You grow up your entire life being told that the things that you want are stupid and frivolous. If you want jewelry, you’re a gold digger. If you want a good looking guy, you’re shallow. If you like romance, you’re an airhead and love sick. People love to hate on teenage girls and the things they love. Of course we grow up thinking that you have to like the things that guys like and be extra low mainte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 10:28 PM |
| 2 | Men will rise to meet your expectationsHey, what’s DTW? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 10:16 PM |
| 59 | Tales from a Pickmeisha in RecoveryI can relate lol. I defended men so hard. Definitely did a lot of “cool girl” shit. Paid for dates, dressed in whatever outfit they wanted me to wear that day, cooked and cleaned for them in their own house, let them play video games on our “date.” I’m so embarrassed. I straight up dated ugly losers because I was afraid that people would think I was shallow. And surprise, they also had bad personalities and treated me badly. Being delusional, they thought they could “upgrade” and fell flat on th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 12:53 PM |
| 14 | "You're lucky to have me" and other things arrogant douchebags sayMy ex also said stuff like that. He would sulk when I countered him with examples of guys also doing the basics. “I cook for you sometimes. Most guys don’t cook so you’re lucky.” “I’ve never cheated; most guys cheat.” “I’ve never hit you” Like damn, I’m soooo lucky you’re not abusive and that you sometimes do nice things every so once in a while. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 12:27 PM |
| 4 | Trying to Level UpI have ADHD too! Feel free to PM me. I personally try to play to my own personality. For example, I’m competitive, so when I’m at the gym I subtly try to out run the other people around me on the elliptical. I’ll have my usual 30 mins but I also tell myself that I shouldn’t get off until the person in the corner who’s super jacked gets off the elliptical too. I try to go to the gym with friends, so that I feel pressure to actually do stuff instead of sit on my phone and pretend to stretch. I pay… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 03:55 AM |
| 20 | Men will rise to meet your expectations9 years. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 03:32 AM |
| 165 | FDS Strategy: when he asks for polyamory, you kick him to the curbPoly people love to say that love is infinite and that you can love more than one person. Let’s pretend that they’re right and that a man has infinite love for women. You know what’s not infinite? Money and time. Even if you claim to love everyone equally, you will ultimately be choosing your favorites by spending money and/or time on them. It’s unfair for everyone involved. Don’t fall for the “woke” shit. Everyone only has 24 hours in a day and I refuse to be caught waiting on anyone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/19 02:15 AM |
| 6 | Just wanted to get everyone's opinions about staying friends with an exI think it depends on why you broke up, how long you dated and why you would want to stay friends. My ex and I reconnected like 2-3 years after we dated when we were more mature. We broke up after only dating for 2-3 months in college and I broke up with him for not trying hard enough. I had no regrets and never felt like I wanted to get back together. These days our friendship is based on talking about common hobbies and career goals. Do not stay friends if you still have feelings for him | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/19 07:01 PM |
| 33 | 37M has a 6hr long date with a catch of a 36F but fails to secure a second date. He runs to his online community to lick his wounds. Pick-mes and bitter old men flock to validate him. Will someone please just tell him he’s a LVM already? The signs are all in his post and replies.It was probably six hours because he wouldn’t let the date die. He misread the situation and thought they were having a good time as more than friends because men are notoriously bad at reading body language. I’ve been on long dates where it was crystal clear that there was no chemistry and I was just waiting to go home. Of course the guys were “shocked” because I smiled and laughed politely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/19 04:11 PM |
| 1 | Have you ever been honest about a guy’s unsatisfactory performance in bed?I don’t think I’ve ever had bad sex. At worst, it’s been just okay. If I don’t like what they’re doing, I tell them to stop and don’t move and that I’ll just handle things and make it work on my own. If they try to do their own thing and I don’t like it, I make them stop or else I’m leaving. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/19 03:13 AM |
| 26 | We Probably Spend More On Dates Even When The Guy PaysIt’s not just the cost of investment, you have to consider the opportunity cost. If they wanna accuse us of gold digging, let’s really dig into the numbers like an economist. For every guy that a woman chooses to spend an hour with, that’s a potential hour that could have been spent with 10-15 other guys dying to take her out on a date-one of which could be the “one” or at the least let’s say he treats her with respect and takes her out on a very pricey date (looking at pure numbers like an econ… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/19 04:48 AM |
| 6 | Applying FDS in Japan: suggestions?It’s not your fault. People just tend to take advantage of foreigners because they can lie to them easier about cultural norms and because they seem “exotic.” As women, when we travel, we tend to become easy targets. This is true in Europe and the US as well to a certain extent where foreigners are perceived as “exotic” and it’s almost like a bragging point to sleep with a xxx depending on where you go. Examples: Asian fetish, fetish of Columbian women, sexy French women stereotypes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 02:07 PM |
| 10 | Applying FDS in Japan: suggestions?This. Japan still has a very traditional mindset in female-male relationships. Cute and innocent are the ultimate compliment because that’s what the culture values, more so than beautiful or sexy. The men there should be wanting to pay for your dates, especially if they’re older and high earners. They have maid cafes and bar “girls” that get paid just for company (no sex); there is more than enough money to be spent on the women they’re courting. Be careful, like any homogeneous country with too… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 01:47 PM |
| 18 | Low Value Men Be Like...Women hate house husbands because most husbands lie about how much house work they’re actually doing. Women would love a house husband if they actually pulled their own weight | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 03:56 AM |
| 3 | It’s good to communicate your preferences.Exactly! We shouldn’t feel ashamed to have preferences. I mean, getting a gift is nice but is it really a gift for me if he knowingly gets me something I don’t want? There’s nothing wrong with a thank you but no thank you or a “thank you but...” I feel like a fool for pretending to like gifts that were clearly not tailored to who I am over the years | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/19 03:49 PM |
| 37 | Almost every single dead bedroom involving LL men is related to porn use and compulsive masturbation. Be advised, ladies.When I first moved to the city, I went in a few dates and started noticing a pattern. Men under 30, who were highly successful in their career and in good physical shape, having to have a conversation about how their dick just doesn’t work right during the third date...usually while we were just kissing and had all our clothes on. I thought it was something in the NYC water or stress, but nah. Dudes under 30 these days aren’t suffering from some physical ailment- they’re pornsick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/19 01:57 PM |
| 4 | Added “values” to my profile. Where’d all the men go? 🤔😭😭😭 yepppp | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/19 04:09 AM |
| 10 | Added “values” to my profile. Where’d all the men go? 🤔Don’t worry. In NYC, I’ve seen guys on profile outright say that they’re a lazy person or that they’re just looking to fuck. Let the trash be self aware and take itself out. The rest is just blank slates like “I like football and I’m 6 ft tall” lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/19 11:55 PM |
| 4 | What do you think about dressing provocatively?I’m gonna go with pay attention to time, place and occasion, for this one. If everyone else around you is also dressed more provocatively, it’s absolutely appropriate for you to go ahead and show off a bit more. Family dinner with 75 year old grandparents or at church? Nah, go for something more conservative. Dinner on a patio when it’s 90 degrees out? Get your short shorts and/or crop top out, it’s hot out and justified. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/19 06:43 PM |
| 1 | I get it’s a numbers game but I have 100+ matches and they’re all low value/low effort 😭I’ve cleared it out. Turns out I’ve had matches sitting there from like as long as 2 years ago lol. I’m down to like 5-10 matches now but they still suck haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/11/19 02:02 AM |
| 3 | I get it’s a numbers game but I have 100+ matches and they’re all low value/low effort 😭Kind of both? A lot of them don’t have bad photos. They’ll have something in their bio rather than nothing- but not enough for me to consider them a red flag and toss them out. They have a decent job and live in a decent area and they seem alright. Maybe I ought to be looking for Green flags..? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/19 11:54 PM |
| 3 | I get it’s a numbers game but I have 100+ matches and they’re all low value/low effort 😭Oh. Idk I should check 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/19 11:15 PM |
| 11 | I get it’s a numbers game but I have 100+ matches and they’re all low value/low effort 😭Oh yeah. He’s just not very responsive 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/19 11:02 PM |
| 13 | I get it’s a numbers game but I have 100+ matches and they’re all low value/low effort 😭I’m actually on Hinge too. It’s only slightly better. Also a lot of guys don’t look nearly as good as their photos. The photos are years old or they’re depending on good lighting or they’ve gained weight/are shorter than they let on. And I’m waiting for them to message first but I’m seeing a lot of low effort bread crumbing... The thing is, I don’t think that’s on me. My sister is a model so I’m assuming I’ve got at least a percentage of that prettiness or whatever. Like wtf? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/19 11:01 PM |
| 25 | Spiraling down the rabbit hole of caring for a fuckboyJust one thought- anyone can be good for ~6 months. I’ve been in some abusive relationships and they’re always lovely in the beginning. They shower me with attention and gifts so that I get addicted. They quickly introduce me to people. My abusive ex drove 2 hours to see me for a quick date and then drove 2 hours back; he also later asked to GPS track me and get all my passwords because “if you trusted and loved me, you’d do it.” Idk this guy, but based on what you told me I’d run for the hills.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/19 02:29 PM |
| 33 | This is so tiring, they need a section for singles looking for couples, bc I don’t care about ur relationship goals...Lol my favorite is when I see the guy pretending to be the woman and it’s just a cover up for straight up cheating. The guy will always say something like, you and I can try alone first...and then the gf/wife gets word and you realize that she never signed off on any of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/19 08:22 PM |
| 77 | This is so tiring, they need a section for singles looking for couples, bc I don’t care about ur relationship goals...Almost always a pick me gf/wife and a sexually depraved male “dom” in these situations | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/19 08:07 PM |
| 8 | Female Friendship Strategy?Low key, I work with a bunch of older dudes and have older dude interests. Where do women go to make new friends? I’m in a new city now and it seems like everyone just sticks with their college friends. I don’t wanna just ask for a woman’s number after a random conversation because it feels like I’m creeping on her | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/19 04:42 AM |
| 2 | What do y'all think of coffee dates (for a first date)?He should never pitch you a coffee date. I might do a coffee date but that’s because it’s more convenient on my terms and I’m busy for dinner. So if I’m on the fence about him (I can’t get body language from phone calls/text), he can meet me at the convenient location/time I pick so that I can go on a dinner date I’m already confident about. Also, I won’t say that I’m going on a date later but I’ll make sure he knows that he should be lucky that I found time because I’m busy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/19 03:38 AM |
| 39 | This is the story behind every online profile saying "Im done with cheating and lying women. Im not buying you dinner. You need to act like a lady to be treated like one!"Lolol have them pay for dinner. Dinner is compensation for your time, especially if they suck. I have clients at work take me out for dinner/lunch meeting without a quid pro quo. I don’t understand why men suddenly feel entitled to a woman when they would never have the same attitude to business | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/19 04:04 AM |
| 1 | I feel so weird getting hit on when I’m looksmaxxedIdk about the term “looksmaxxed” but if you’re dressing your best, of course people are going to notice. You probably also feel better/more confident and they probably pick up on it too. People (men and women) are naturally attracted to people who take care of themselves and put their best selves out there. It’s not deceitful to keep yourself in shape or wear nice clothes or get your hair done or put on make up or take showers. If you’re getting positive reactions, own it and go forth into the w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/19 01:10 AM |
| 38 | What Men Really Mean“Let’s wait to put a label on this. I think we’re moving a bit fast”= I want to keep getting the gf experience without having to take on real responsibility. But also, I don’t want you seeing anyone else and will start pushing for a label if I find out you have other options. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/19 12:29 AM |
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