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sekoiasan Archive

View 18 posts and 195 comments by sekoiasan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
95

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen10/03/17 12:49 PM
48

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives23/07/17 12:44 PM
27

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen07/04/17 07:01 AM
21

RP THEORYsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives12/03/21 07:01 PM
16

INSIGHTFULsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 07:52 PM
15

sekoiasan/r/RedPillWives27/01/21 11:37 PM
13

sekoiasan/r/RedPillWives10/03/18 10:45 AM
9

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen15/06/17 08:07 PM
7

GIRL GAMEsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives11/10/17 10:25 PM
7

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 08:31 AM
7

ADVICEsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 11:35 PM
6

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen17/04/17 09:30 PM
5

ADVICEsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 09:21 AM
4

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives29/03/18 07:14 AM
4

DISCUSSIONsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 10:07 AM
3

SELF IMPROVEMENTsekoiasan/r/RedPillWomen23/06/17 08:10 AM
2

ADVICEsekoiasan/r/RedPillWives21/09/17 07:20 PM
2

sekoiasan/r/RedPillWives18/01/21 11:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thank you! How did you know her pinterest?
/r/RedPillWives17/03/21 10:10 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives17/03/21 10:09 PM
2

Thank you so much!
/r/RedPillWives17/03/21 10:09 PM
1

Thank you for making the good point about audiobooks u/Vaeloth322 . I honestly don't care which medium it is, so long as he is a man who prioritizes life-long learning. This requires however that he takes great care in choosing good books, and that he listens actively and doesn't just let the material flow by without paying attention.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/21 07:47 AM
2

Thank you u/SouthernGrass3 , yes I would absolutely not rule out guys who work on good causes on the side!
/r/RedPillWives01/02/21 07:44 AM
1

Thank you for raising your first point u/notokkaren . It is very poignant and has been bothering me. I honestly have no idea how to gauge and probe if the man has a noble, charitable spirit, unless he volunteers a story.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/21 07:43 AM
2

Thank you for your insightful caveats u/rosesonthefloor . Yes, I would be absolutely satisfied with a man who works for a greater cause on the side, instead of it being his job. The reading habit he can customize the schedule of, as he prefers. What is important to me is the result, so e.g he reads a minimum of 1-2 books a month. The daily habit thing I just got from reading James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) who said that reading 30 minutes daily would lead to reading roughly 30 books a year…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/21 07:41 AM
1

Thank you for the reassuring advice u/fosho_away :D
/r/RedPillWives01/02/21 07:36 AM
1

Hi and thanks again for answering u/santarosa2020 ! I could absolutely live with and thrive with a man who volunteers on the side! What is important to me is not so much the job, but whether he has a noble, charitable spirit, if that makes sense :D . The man you described sounds like a real champ! Ah yes, meeting men at the library. Is that where one would apply the eye contact game as described by u/BeautifulSpaceCadet here?
/r/RedPillWives01/02/21 07:35 AM
2

Thank you for sharing your own experiences in relation to the question u/anothergoodbook . The nuance in your experience is actually very useful for clarifying some confusions in my head. You write that if you knew what you now know, you would probably make different choices. Does this mean that as you grew and learnt, you found out that there were more things that should be considered dealbreakers than when you were young? What are these things, which you would have given more weight had you kn…
/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 09:52 AM
1

Thank you u/santarosa2020 for making your points so clear and objective, where you differentiated in the severity of criticism depending on which deal breaker you were addressing. The chubbiness was a potential deal breaker for me not so much due to appearances, but because I'm a biohacking nerd who believes that most diseases that arise later in life are due to poor lifestyle, and not something that the doctor can just prescribe a pill for :P. So I have to figure out what my acceptable range of…
/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 09:49 AM
2

Thank you for your advice u/_johnfketamine . You are right about the coke of course :( The age gap I actually set a max of 10 years old before I met this guy, and I think I could deal with 4-10 years difference.
/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 09:34 AM
1

Thank you for your reply u/Yharnam_Queen Well, he says that he would happily eat only what I make for him if it’s delicious Asian food (I’m South East Asian), and as I mentioned in the post, he has taken steps towards improving his health already. He expresses a will for it, but I’m just skeptical because it is not easy to change, and change won’t happen unless one actually prioritizes health over mouthpleasure.
/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 09:32 AM
2

Thank you for your advice, u/AnarchoNAP . As it is relevant for what you mentioned if I was deformed, I must inform you that I have 2 great physical disadvantages: breast implants because my breasts were absolutely non-existent before (now they’re a small B) alopecia (Hair loss), I still have very thin hair which I get sew in extensions to cover up. I don’t know how this should adjust my expectations?
/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 09:28 AM
2

Thank you for your thoughtful answer, and I'm sorry I took so long to answer! They want to be useful. They are not imposing, they are offering. This is definitely the change in perception that has helped me the most with this matter :) . Another RPWi user responded to my post with the same point, just with other words. One shouldn't insist on people doing things and speaking in a manner that suits oneself. One should appreciate their goodwill and effort to help in the first place! Many times som…
/r/RedPillWives08/07/18 02:47 AM
4

Recommended Resources Written mostly for men, but many great posts: Theredpillroom (Ian Ironwood) Marriedmansexlife
/r/RedPillWives18/06/18 11:03 AM
1

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on such detailed scenarios :D I will give my reflections on each scenario, with regards to how they apply in my life. Is he trying to solve a problem when you just want to vent? This isn't an issue that arises in my life, because I have a weird habit of venting to myself. I don't need to vent often, and when I do, I actually feel more comfortable talking to myself. I just feel guilty every time I vent to others, because I don't want to bore th…
/r/RedPillWives06/04/18 06:36 AM
1

Yes you're right. Since reading the answers for my question, I've decided to ignore these emotional reactions that triggered the question. GratefulWifeandMama answered my questions with: If you find the right man something that I have found immensely valuable is to really internalize the fact that he wants the best for you Just because someone is telling you what to do or how to do it doesn't mean you have to do it that way blindly which is just as you say: You are not obligated to take any advi…
/r/RedPillWives06/04/18 06:22 AM
1

I also completely agree with /u/GratefulWifeandMama that you should consider if these traits you're describing are actually an asset or something that you need to work. The entire time I read your post all I could think was "EGO". You don't sound receptive at all, you sound really controlling and like someone who isn't ready to fully let another person into their life. Yes, that was definitely a focus point for my question. I want to change things that I'm fully sure are flaws. But I was honestl…
/r/RedPillWives30/03/18 11:40 AM
1

If you find the right man something that I have found immensely valuable is to really internalize the fact that he wants the best for you. My husband is very process oriented. So for example if he can tell I am stressed or mismanaged my time so I am behind on laundry or something he will pipe in with a way he sees it could be streamlined. Since he doesn't actually know the process behind most of my homemaking tasks sometimes his advice is honestly laughable. But I appreciate that he is trying to…
/r/RedPillWives30/03/18 10:47 AM
1

Sometimes he'll have better mate ideas and you'll have better captain ideas. I want to elaborate that I have no problems with other people giving me advice. It's more the attitude and tone they have, whether they sound like they're imposing on me or whether they're appealing to my reason. As you're in a partnership it's sensible to let the other swap roles occasionally and also in doing so can give you guidance. I definitely agree that two heads are better than one, and partners should be able t…
/r/RedPillWives30/03/18 10:40 AM
2

whether what he wants is compatible with what you want. That is definitely important :) If you know you want advice given in a certain way, seek a man who gives you that and who is willing to take what you are capable of giving. Ah, I didn't see things like that, because I don't always think that one's natural inclinations are good. When you pointed out that I'm asking should questions, I meant to ask them that way. While I know that it's fine for people to have different preferences and persona…
/r/RedPillWives30/03/18 10:36 AM
2

yeah, the masseuse certificate I have, however, I didn't know you needed a certificate to be a chef. But I'll look into that. Thanks for all your suggestions. I really appreciate your perspective, since you're going the spend less route instead of the make more route (being frugal, living with your fam). That's really my ideal strategy, since one honestly doesn't need that much materialistically, and spending less allows one to save on a much more important resource: time.
/r/RedPillWives18/03/18 01:42 PM
1

Well there is a system in France, that allows you to get a bachelor on part-time (so roughly 20h a week). So I would be preparing the actuary degree part-time for 4 years, during which I'd be working on this youtube business and dancing at restaurants and venues (bellydancing), which wouldn't bring in a big amount, but a small amount from many sources are one way of doing it. What I mean by having the back up plan is for you to be ready to jump into it if need be. Well, I have a couple of trade …
/r/RedPillWives13/03/18 05:31 PM
1

I have a backup plan, which was to become an actuary because I'm quite good at maths and really like the business and finance industry. I was just shying away from it because of the time investment (aka lazy). But yeah, that's my backup plan.
/r/RedPillWives12/03/18 07:17 AM
1

They all take up roughly one day’s work. (fangirls) Jk, but out of curiosity, what are you studying?
/r/RedPillWives12/03/18 06:34 AM
1

Toulouse is a very cozy city, and it's smaller than Lyon, But I actually like the size of Lyon, this blend between Toulouse and Paris. And Paris is just as you say. I wouldn't want to live in just a noisy and crowded place.
/r/RedPillWives12/03/18 06:32 AM
1

Ps I love Lyon, I'm very jealous! I know right!! Peansants all talk about Paris, but Lyon is a much better version of Paris, with more space, better weather, more trees, access to the Alps and the sea, a BEAUTIFUL old town and without all the garbage and ridiculously crowded roads! Tsch. By the way, thank you for the time you've spent answering my questions. This community is really just wonderful.
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 10:14 PM
1

I think your best option is to train in something you enjoy well enough, that will give you and your future family a sure income should you need it. Yeah, having things not go exactly as you want is also a good way of avoiding getting spoiled also. Nietszche said that a life of fulfilment requires struggle, and I believed that (or I thought I did). I suppose I must embrace whatever comes!
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 10:10 PM
1

If you like maths then an actuary sounds like a good path. I've said this on this sub before, but if you are technically minded then software/web development has been a great path for me. Many IT jobs nowadays are very flexible and allow you to work from home. Yeah, I don't know whether it was you or someone else, but in one of my confused-career-question-posts, a rpw suggested an IT job, and that's when I started considering various technical jobs. I genuinely like the finance field, so I don't…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 10:04 PM
1

She's talking about starting a YouTube cooking show until a yet-unknown man takes her in as a housewife. It is true that my post history shows how many times I've changed job plans, however this cooking channel is honestly a legitimate business that I wanted to start at some point in my life, whether now or after I've worked a normal job. I just didn't decide to pursue as a first step, simply because most startups fail. I don't mean to come off as defensive, I just wanted to clarify my intention…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 09:53 PM
1

"senior slump" LOL this is definitely a known problem in my country's high schools. I've been experiencing senior slump for over 2 years now :D so I'm not sure if it's senior slump or an actual incompatibility for schools and institutions XD Although I shouldn't be using that as an excuse. Besides, more and more women meet their future husband at work :) That was partly why my backup plan was to work in finance ;) Jk, it isn't really about the money. I'm just really interested in investment and …
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 09:39 PM
2

I don't mean to be overly negative, but it is a very rose-tinted view to just assume that you'll never need to support yourself in a meaningful way. Be clever about this. You're not overly negative at all, my doubts did arise from both a concern for being a responsible adult and financial concerns. Right now, I'm just trying to consider all aspects to this question of "doing what you love" and "doing what you must". Besides being relevant for me personally right now, it is a philosophical dilemm…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 09:37 PM
2

Right now I have three part time work places, and about five more ones for the future that are very viable. Wait, if you have multiple part time jobs, wouldn't that amount to full time work? XD
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 09:34 PM
2

Even though I think Dr. Peterson's advice is generally good, I don't think a career should be a person's main source of emotional fulfillment. To understand you correctly, by this do you mean that I should weigh the financial aspect more heavily than I do right now? As in choose a job that would at least provide a reliable income? Lastly, I also do not want children. I don't mean to sound discouraging, but not wanting kids limits your options for men. Here is a demographic survey on childfree pe…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 09:33 PM
3

By all means have this path as an ultimate goal for you, but you need to have a way of making money in the meantime. Even if everything goes to plan and you don't need to use it for long, it is reckless to not have a back up. Once you're married and you understand your financial situation better is when you should start winding back work if that's what you want to do. Don't skip out on a work life by relying on a man you haven't even met yet. A voice inside of me is telling me this too XD I supp…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 09:25 PM
3

He gets to focus on things he enjoys without having to deal with things he hates which in turn are the things I enjoy (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc). We’re both immensely happy and it helps us both become more successful because we get to focus on the things we enjoy and rely on the other person for the things we don’t. This is seriously the best situation ever! I'm so happy for you! It would be selfish if you were to expect your mate to provide for you and you gave nothing in return…
/r/RedPillWives10/03/18 05:23 PM
2

A lot of women I know that I’ve spoken to here in Australia, feels the same though to be honest I don’t think many women would easily admit this since they feel scared or guilty of being judged. Being called lazy or anything like that. Peer pressure is definitely real, especially when I don't currently have any like-minded friends. Being the only one (that I know of) with these goals can sometimes make me feel like I'm crazy. Thank you for sharing your and your friends' perspective, it has made …
/r/RedPillWives10/03/18 05:20 PM
1

What do you mean by reflect, you mean reflect/mirror his body language? Or do you mean having a reflective, pensive demeanor, and thinking about the conversation topic in a dreamy thoughtful way?
/r/RedPillWives29/10/17 02:56 PM
2

If they think you're pretty and fun I hope that should be good for most guys x I hope so too :D I don't think they do always, and I wanted to be completely sure he knew because I felt shy on the first date and wanted to make sure he felt we were a thing soon in case other girls were in the picture! Oooh okay, I never thought about it that way. Wow, ever since finding RPW, I've been building a never-ending list of skills to learn XD
/r/RedPillWives19/10/17 10:58 AM
1

I want to link to the memoirs of a geisha video where the girl caused a bike crash with one look :d That scene was pretty cute, but I mean the girl was an asian with blue-grey eyes, that would've stopped anyone in their tracks :D I love that movie (especially the music) Yes good vibes and eye contact are great, but it can get pretty awkward/intimate pretty fast if it's only eye contact and no talk :D
/r/RedPillWives19/10/17 10:55 AM
1

lmao Boys aren't good at picking up little signals sometimes so I just made totally sure. You mean you made sure that he knew you were interested? Don't men know you like them if you´re on a date with them? (honest question) And about being interesting and fun, it really is a matter of confidence for me, since I always seem to make seamless banter with people I don't need to impress. (typical) What I've experienced working in the past is putting myself in a playful emotional state, and then my o…
/r/RedPillWives14/10/17 08:49 AM
2

This is a huge topic with many things to consider...can you be a bit more specific about what you are looking for? Single women vs women in relationships, flirting with a crush vs being more feminine and flirtatious in general so that you get more male attention. Essentially, what do you hope to achieve by flirting? Thank you for your questions, and I'll add my answers to the post. I wanted to know more about how single women flirt, both with their crushes but also flirting as a part of their pe…
/r/RedPillWives12/10/17 08:28 PM
2

Making him a bit wound up and playing innocent is my strategy! I love this XD
/r/RedPillWives12/10/17 08:19 PM
1

I believe that my natural inclination to "find the best solution" and "cut through excuses" probably kept me from being accepted socially, and certainly has impacted my marriage. I relate to this very much. Something I've noticed is that this no-bullshit approach is great if you're interacting with someone with the same personality. Then you can bond over your same approach :D But in general, most people like complaining and talking small talk (which I actually have an aversion to), and it can c…
/r/RedPillWives10/10/17 08:08 PM
1

Right! And the reverse is true. When we're confident about something, we notice in no one! I have a friend who has perfect skin, and I mean photoshop perfect. And she does nothing for it. And she really doesn't notice acne, pores etc. in others at all :D
/r/RedPillWives09/10/17 02:43 PM
1

I think being spontaneous is an important contributor to making and maintaining genuine human connection. An example from my own life would be not leaving a conversation until it's exhausted. I'm in school right now, and always have a schedule for homework, hobbies etc. But every now and then, I fall into a great conversation with a friend, and I simply forget everything else and walk home with them (opposite of where I live), and then walk back XD I think having enough time and flexibility to o…
/r/RedPillWives06/10/17 09:35 PM
1

I think if you focus on developing rapport via banter as your first step, things will come easier to you over time. Yes, I started doing this yesterday, and will push myself to continue. Convos are much more enjoyable generally. What do you mean by "laughing at others", if it's just teasing then I'm failing to see how it isn't "feminine". - playful teasing strengthens your bond and mean teasing tears down the other person. Anything too personal or "below the belt" would be considered mean. One e…
/r/RedPillWives26/09/17 11:57 AM
2

I agree, and I'm sure that I'll be able to practice my social and girl game skills at venues other than parties. I think that if I rule out parties however, then I should make a conscious effort to practice other places :) However I don't think that girl game is something you inherently have. I've known many girls, who I'd say have roughly the same physical attractiveness, and yet some of them are much more successful with guys than others. They are charming, they are flirty, they create this in…
/r/RedPillWives24/09/17 10:09 PM
1

Oh, but you have found a few good friends, which is really enough, for me at least. And thanks for the website reference :)
/r/RedPillWives24/09/17 10:06 PM
1

I assume no one has asked her out in all of this time, which would imply she isn’t appealing in some way to men. You are very right, I am in no way considered hot among my peers, just average. And with regards to an attractive and charming personality, I've noticed a prudish tendency in myself. Whenever I've flirted with someone for a longer period of time, I stop myself. It's usually because I didn't want to actually date the person, and thus didn't want to lead them astray. But I seem to have …
/r/RedPillWives24/09/17 09:57 PM
3

Flirting with strangers on the other hand is a good way to get comfortable with your sexuality without much risk. Charismatic women are attractive. She is 17 and has never been in a relationship so this leads me to believe she needs to work on her charisma. I've always wondered about flirting: What is the general consensus in RPW about flirting? I find flirting very enjoyable and sometimes even necessary to make a situation go smoother, but some of my peers judge girls who flirt "too much". I do…
/r/RedPillWives24/09/17 09:49 PM
3

I definitely have a superiority complex. I don't let it show though, but that doesn't change the fact, nor the fact that I want to change it. The complex isn't with an SO specifically, but in general with people around me. Anytime a person complains or shares a problem, I make snap judgements about the best way to tackle it. Then I judge the way that they tackled the problem. If their approach was smart and truly impressive, then I truly appreciate it and tell them. But quite often I find people…
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:50 PM
1

I am far more likely to be critical of something if I understand and am familiar with something... for me this usually means I am recognizing something disadvantageous in someone else that I know firsthand because I have that disadvantage myself. I relate to this very much. I spend time thinking about how to improve a specific trait, and thus I analyze the trait. As a result, I identify much better in others as well.
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:41 PM
1

Ooh you're right, I should have mentioned that happiness part. Honestly, it's not that I want to stop working period. I just want the freedom to pursue my hobbies, which are much more enjoyable to me than anything else. I dance and figure skate A LOT! It makes me so completely happy. However due to a late start, working as a dancer or a figure skater isn't an option. Plus, once you start working as a dancer (a VERY competitive field), it might not be the same. I simply want to retire so I can da…
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:32 PM
1

Thank you PhantomDream09 :))
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:26 PM
1

We could have another discussion about how drunk or alcohol-influenced conversations are merely attempts to create the illusion of honesty, bonding, depth, brotherhood/sisterhood and joy where in reality they are lacking I agree that alcohol is a really stupid way to bond. Many people tell me that alcohol increases their confidence, but I think that's exactly why you should work at your confidence sober. Some day you're gonna need confidence, and you won't have alcohol to help you. But while I d…
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:24 PM
3

Well a full degree, especially in engineering, opens up many doors in France as well. An entry-level job after a full degree has a much higher salary, and somehow, if the financial gains of both plans are roughly the same, why NOT go to school, ya know? I fully support the whole college experience. You not only get to meet, but live with peers that you wouldn't otherwise become close to. Additionally, it's the easiest time you will ever have broadening your network, dating, and enjoying a lot mo…
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:14 PM
1

How would I go about asking for and informational interview? "Hello, I'm interested in a career in your field. Could you spare me some time and tell me about your experience?" It's funny, I can imagine Dale Carnegie would know just the thing to say. (reading "how to win friends and influence people" right now, and his manner is just effortlessly tactful) You know, I don't think I'd like the party scene, and I don't think I'd miss it. But I imagine that living in a dorm is an experience that I'd …
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:08 PM
2

Well the lovely thing is that these are public institutions in France, which only cost at most 1000 bucks per year. My mom wants to support me with this. Actually, there is a seamless system, where I can transfer to the engineering school with the masters after finishing my Associate's (granted I'm admitted). No I haven't talked to them myself, I've only read around on the forums of either paths.
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 06:29 AM
2

I actually live in Denmark, but want to move to France (I speak french so integration won't be a problem). Not to be morbid but you might not even get to enjoy the money you sacrificed to have. You're right, I must enjoy the present as well :D Well it's not that I don't like social gatherings. I love dinner parties and casual hangouts. I should have narrowed it down to specifically frat parties. At least where I am now, the parties are very alcohol-based or drug-based, and most of what qualifies…
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 06:21 AM
2

what does "monk mode" mean to you? What are you actually doing to make yourself a better, more appealing woman? added :D Oh, how tedious it is to talk about myself.
/r/RedPillWives21/09/17 09:08 PM
2

How much education do your parents have? What is the average level of education in your immediate and extended family? Do your parents have a clear preference regarding the path you take? Why are you single? Why are you in monk mode? How many relationships have you had so far? If you chose the option that doesn't involve the full college experience, what will you do for socialisation with other women? What will you do to meet men? What type of man are you interested in marrying and how soon? Doe…
/r/RedPillWives21/09/17 08:46 PM
1

He does not devote time to anything that does not enrich his life or move him forward. Right! So being "his" is simple bringing him indispensable value :) Thank you for giving your take on the concept :) These were very tangible suggestions.
/r/RedPillWives28/07/17 08:03 PM
2

Oh wow. That is unbelievable. Excuse me to have posted so ignorantly. I should have looked closer at the facts before posting and disclosed that people should not consider the ethos of the author in their reading. insisting staff reused needles until they were too blunt to continue using... even in known HIV high risk areas. That is fucked up. But in a weird way, these facts don't really change the words of the verse for me. The words are beautiful regardless.
/r/RedPillWives27/07/17 08:24 AM
2

Basically what I'm saying is there's a difference between what sounds nice to individual women and what is effective for teaching RPW concepts. You're right. The teaching must be scientific and correct every time. Especially when RP is such a new paradigm for certain people, who don't have any role models. And we don't want more people to hate us because we didn't express ourselves properly.
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 09:38 PM
1

I didn't receive and use the analogy of the vassal as is. In my chain of thoughts, I went on from the vassal to the typical "right hand man" of kings. Someone who was originally a mere servant like any other, who proved to be both useful and loyal, and who with time gained the special affection of the king. While this is not necessarily the best analogy, I do find that imagining myself as my SO's trusted right hand man, in the medieval sense, to be very helpful. Such a right hand man is loyalty …
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 09:19 PM
1

Oh no, I definitely won't be an object. I already have a tough time just taking the first step of deferring :) . But yeah, I just never heard of "ownership" in that sense, and it was fun to ponder upon.
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 09:04 PM
2

I wouldn't want a man to blindly compromise by catering to my wishes Ah okay, I definitely understand that.
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 08:04 PM
1

You're right. I hope there are men who both want a wife but no children XD
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 08:01 PM
1

Ah okay, I understand. A note on the assertiveness though. If a man is less assertive than me in a situation, he's low-value to me. Do you mean in any and all situations? What if a given matter is very meaningful to you but doesn't matter much to him, is it important for you that he assert his way anyways? This is a genuine question I've had on my mind since my RP journey. I understand that you should follow your SO's lead, but you also voice your wants and needs (and accept and support his deci…
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 07:46 PM
1

Thank you, that's reassuring. It's just that many if not most women on RPWi speak of children, and it is the biological imperative. I can't help but feel slightly weird sometimes for not wanting children.
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 07:41 PM
2

I'd love to get married and am definitely on the same page. I was wondering though (another topic), I'm not sure I want children, and looking around the manosphere, I often see men advise other men to only get married if they want children. Of course, men on the manosphere aren't representative of all men, but my stomach can't help but itch a bit at this. What is RPWi's stance on prenup? I idealistically assume that I'd marry someone relatively decent and reasonable, so that a hypothetical divor…
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 07:19 PM
3

Right! It means more. You expressed what I meant much clearer :) I simply want to distinguish between a "normal" level of loyalty and the "ownership-level" loyalty, where the SO cannot doubt you (because you choose to live with such impeccable and spotless integrity).
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 06:47 PM
1

I made this answer to another comment below, but your comment describes the actions that I would define as follows: Loyalty is the thing that defines the concept of ownership. When you think of what ownership means in this context, it means something that one can wholeheartedly love and support, without the fear of it harming us or stabbing us in the back. You own something when you cannot doubt it. The reason why the car is so wholeheartedly loved is because it cannot POSSIBLY hurt you. It cann…
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 06:42 PM
2

The way you call him darling just makes me laugh and warms me at the same time XD I can't help but hear it as daaahrlin'
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 06:38 PM
5

Your comment really made this concept tangible for me, as I can somehow put myself in a vassal's shoes and think "Hmm, what would an eternally loyal vassal do?" :D You really identified the core of this: the oath for oath loyalty is the thing that defines the concept of ownership. When you think of what ownership means in this context, it means something that one can wholeheartedly love and support, without the fear of it harming us or stabbing us in the back. You own something when you cannot d…
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 06:34 PM
1

I know I’ve had to remind myself to differentiate when ‘competing to earn respect’ is advantageous. Tbh I think for single women, at first, it’s pretty normal to do this sometimes. Could you give an example where you, as a woman dating a new guy, would compete with him? I've just never considered this, as the valued qualities in each gender are different, so it'd be like a race between a swimmer and a sprinter.
/r/RedPillWives24/07/17 06:23 PM
1

That's great! I am happy for you :) The dynamic between my brother and I isn't like that though. My brother isn't a very masculine guy who tries things out and takes risks, and he just doesn't have that much confidence or experience for his age. I feel like usually, the younger siblings are the needy ones who want to hang out with the older siblings, 'cause they're so old and cool. But my relationship with my brother is the opposite.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/17 08:41 PM
1

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment :) It's a little strange to me for you to say you don't love him anymore at all, because to me it seem like there should be at least some fond flickers. I have cousins I've met once or twice who I might not love love, but I am at least fond of them and care about their well-being. You described perfectly how I feel towards my brother. I definitely would be affected if he were deeply unhappy, but I mean I don't really love him in the way I imagine …
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/17 03:01 PM
1

You're right. I thought the same after having said it. Well, it can't be taken back now. I will go. I honestly don't know how I could have been so selfish, sometimes the logics or reasoning of it doesn't matter at all, and like you say, not hurting my family is reason enough. Thank you for helping me :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/17 10:46 AM
7

I completely agree. Think outside the box! Personally, I'm all for permanent or semi-permanent modifications. Some suggestions I have for you are: Eyelash extensions (monthly refill) Lip injections (refill every 18 months or so) Teeth whitening every 6 months, with a weekly treatment of coconut oil Curology prescription for skin, 20 bucks per month (treats acne, you get your own private online term, anti-aging properties etc.) Rhinoplasty Permanent makeup on your brows, and maybe lipliner Clothe…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 02:33 PM
2

Yeah, she is truly outstanding. And what stands out to me most is how infinitely gentle, patient and polite she is, even when speaking with senseless SJW who raise their voices.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 12:02 AM
2

Yeah, I definitely agree with basic human rights, and in that sense, I think I'd prefer to identify as a simple humanist, instead of specifically a feminist, as it somehow implies that one only cares about the rights one group of people.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 12:01 AM
1

I gave them a look, and man Christina looks good for her age :D
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/17 11:59 PM
1

Oh, that's okay :) Does that mean this post must be removed?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/17 11:58 PM
1

Well, in a redpill relationship dynamic, I would limit unsolicited advice and suggestions. I think that it depends on the tone and the situation as well. So long as the I make clear to my SO that I'd be happy with whatever decision he makes, and trust his abilities.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/17 09:37 AM
2

Ah okay. Men who are actively looking for LTR material will be on the lookout for personality and charisma. I thought that guys had a more opportunistic approach, and by that I mean they might be looking for an LTR, but if they find an attractive woman who'd bang them, they would bang her and continue with their search XD
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/17 12:42 PM
3

If we use the definitions in your SMV & RMV post, SMV = turbulent, intense, passion RMV = stable, comfort, security Then SMV traits for women could be traits other than looks, e.g any traits that contribute to these intense feelings. That could be a seductive voice, or a woman who excels at flirting and subtle yet suggestive use of touch. Or a very flexible woman ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/17 09:59 AM
1

Yeah, some prominent and major flaws like bitchiness damage SMV, but I was just thinking about how positive traits don't enhance your SMV. So it's like a neutral-lose situation, where positive traits have no effect on SMV, but negative traits have a negative effect on SMV.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/17 09:53 AM
2

Oh okay, I understand. Once a woman is deemed attractive enough superficially, then her personality comes into play. That is quite wonderful. I used to be quite resentful of men's ability to work at increasing their SMV, where women could only improve marginally (or get plastic surgery).
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/17 09:50 AM
1

Your "league" is mainly about physical charisma (not exactly your looks alone, but the sum of your appearance, mannerisms, your general "vibe") and your personality (social skills and intellect). Really? I've seen different opinions on SMV in the manosphere and RPW, and I'm really confused. I thought that a woman's SMV was purely determined by her looks and age, and that anything else goes to RMV. And so the woman's personality (unless she has some obvious major flaw) doesn't factor into a man's…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/17 06:02 PM
2

Ooh, care packages are fun! And you can get real creative too. I think I'd mix a prank in one of the boxes once in a while (like a fake rat or something).
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/17 05:19 PM
1

Oh, you mean you perform at weddings? That's so cool! I'd really want to make a part-time job out of performing.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/17 01:29 PM
4

However, what happens when you invest 100% and your spouse only invests 30%? What is bound to happen is that after going like this for some time, you'll end up feeling taken for granted. Ah yes. One shouldn't completely ignore our partner's performance. I think a good solution to this is to judge our partner, not by their results, but their effort. Or maybe one should occasionally check to see if our SO still meets our vetting standards, and if yes, then continue to contribute to the relationshi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 03:43 PM
3

And isn't there something inherently playful and seductive about dance? Abandoning yourself to sensual pleasure (the music, moving your body) I take salsa classes, and we dance in a circle (rueda), with our teachers among the dancers. So we rotate every few beats. Whenever I dance with one of the teachers, who lead so well I don't have to concentrate, it's like I'm in this trance. My whole mind is immersed in experiencing.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 01:48 PM
3

That's really cool actually, 'cause then anyone can increase their smv in this manner, regardless of genetics. But then I'd say only certain dance genres are attractive, such as the cuban salsa as you've linked to, but also belly dance. Really any sort of dance where you are very flexible and active in the hip area, and are overall very poised and gentle (which is belly dance basically. Belly dancers' arms are so flowy, gentle and mesmerizing). I wouldn't say breakdance or hip-hop adds to a woma…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 01:43 PM
3

My comments on your points: 1) For what it's worth, in the eyes of men, being shorter is much better than being taller. They want their woman too look weaker than them. 2) Your description of your personality sounds exactly like me. I can never get a word in in larger groups (without accidentally shouting or something). Let me tell you something. The men that you've seen, who love women who talk, are pushy and aggressive, don't see those women as LTR-potential. Yes, they like to hang out with th…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 09:40 AM
4

Do you think dancing actually turns guys on? Like I read somewhere on reddit, that dancing doesn't add to a woman's smv unless the guy is already attracted to her. But once he is, good moves can be a turn on.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 09:33 AM
9

Relationships shouldn't be 50/50, they should be 100/100. So both partners do their best, and know and appreciate each other's hard work. After vetting is done and they know each other's added value, they should stop obsessing over the concrete value added by their partners. They should focus on their effort into the relationship. 50/50 implies that all tasks are being divided, and that each partner is only responsible for their own tasks, which gives a transactional, workplace feel. This is you…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 09:29 AM
3

My heart jumped out of my ribcage when I saw this question XD I belly dance and do ballet regularly as well :) Now I agree with the others that there are no "rpw" hobbies, since rpw is a frame of mind and has to do with your personality, not your interests. You should look at RPW as an approach to life. So two completely different people can still share the same approach. E.g two women with different jobs can still be rpw. Now if I would call some hobby rp, I'd say any hobby that pleases your ma…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 09:19 AM
1

I see your point about gratitude. However, I don't think gratitude should come from a place of "superiority", as in one shouldn't be grateful just because other people have it worse. What if you were the unluckiest person on earth? Would it then be productive to be unhappy? No. (now I'm just speaking ideally, since being happy in hard times is easier said than done) At the end of the day, being happy is something you do for yourself, and everyone should do it simply because it is the better opti…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/17 09:14 AM
2

Yeah, there is a subtle but meaningful distinction between sympathy and empathy. I read once that sympathy was more "I feel bad for you", and empathy was "I know how you feel". Here's an interesting example I found: psychopaths with absolutely no sympathy for their victims can nonetheless make use of empathy to snare or torture them. Anyways, introspection + empathy + attentiveness That's a killer combo for gratefulness and so many other relationship skills! Another trait that comes to mind, con…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/17 01:20 PM
1

Yes, bless the internet for unlimited education!
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/17 01:09 PM
2

Yes, this makes sense. However, how do you demonstrate your potential as a first mate without submitting? Do you simply follow him on the simpler and more trivial matters, that don't affect your life dramatically? E.g demonstrate spontaneity and an enthusiastic willingness to follow his planned dates?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 07:57 PM
2

Ah okay, I understand. In the trust-building period, I should still apply girl game with common sense and social adeptness. It's good if I can apply non-intrusive girl game that simultaneously demonstrates great potential.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 07:53 PM
1

Curology prescription and /r/AsianBeauty are great skin resources. Look into acids, tretinoin and Vit C
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 06:23 PM
2

The second type of girl game you mentioned is extensively described in RPW and the manosphere. It's all the homemaking, the respect, the praise and genuine appreciation, the sweetness etc. But not much is written about the tactics and strategy to get a man to commit in the first place. Could you elaborate on this type of girl game :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 06:15 PM
6

So as far as I understand, you start investing in the guy with your max effort and girl game once you've vetted him, right? Like once you've decided he's marriage-material, then you max out your game to demonstrate your value, while stating clearly your goals and expectations of marriage. Once he's seen your value and still doesn't commit, you walk.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 05:53 PM
2

By wifey mode, do you mean cooking for him, cleaning his home when you visit, doing his laundry etc? Somehow, I find cooking a very natural part of dating, and I'd probably already do it on the 3rd date or something. I find that personality, flexibility and approach to life are very important characteristics in a man being enamored with a woman. It's interesting and refreshing to see this mentioned as things men look for in women. Sometimes on TRP and RPW, it can seem too repetitive and generic …
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 05:51 PM
2

Oooh, anticipating needs is a great quality! Like you are quick to pick up on his mood as well, so you can act accordingly? (e.g "I'm in my cave, don't disturb"; "Feeling like ice cream"; "I want a hug" :D) How did you vet for the trait of being grateful and appreciative?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 05:38 PM
2

Yes! I suppose one could look at RPW as a fundament, the basic education for all women, but what you specialize in is unique to you. Btw, I totally agree with the home appliances. I love cooking, and food processors allow me to focus on the fun part of cooking instead of prepwork. I'm curious, what do you think is your edge?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 02:46 PM
2

Ah, I understand now. It some ways, these passions you're talking about are quite asexual, and simply great qualities in any person of any gender. Passionate people are never boring. It actually reminds me of what I thought was attractive pre-redpill, and what you often see on movies. Shared interests, passionate, interesting, smart. In that sense, the mainstream traits of attractiveness do apply. I love board games for example, and that's a gender-neutral hobby I'd like my SO to have.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 11:44 AM
2

It doesn't even need to be "feminine" hobbies/skills/interests. The main requirements are your personal passion for it, and how well you can do it. While men do want a certain minimum of intelligence (for their offspring and for pleasant conversation), I thought that men didn't care much about your talents other than the feminine ones? Your example with exceptional social skills is gender-neutral, but it is a trait that dramatically improves daily life and certain situations. This is very intere…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/17 07:10 AM
2

this is common post-kids. I laughed out loud.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 08:23 PM
1

Let me start with holy shit, you only kissed one person at 27. Granted, I'm not one to talk since I've never kissed anyone period but still XD Anyways, now I understand :) I'm so glad there's a vaccine for your husband's STI.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 08:22 PM
1

Haha! Does he spend that much time in the bathroom alone? Like does he have a magazine with him or...?
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 08:13 PM
2

That is such a seamless and organic way of talking about these important goals :) I'll make a mental note of this casual, hypothetical way of approaching it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 08:10 PM
2

Oh I wasn't sarcastic :) Yeah, like you depart from the same house to go to your wedding, go on your honeymoon and then go back to... the same place before the wedding. There's undoubtedly something more romantic about unpacking your stuff together after a honeymoon and decorating your new common home.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 08:07 PM
3

Theoretically, I understand. But I'm having a hard time seeing how I would concretely go about this conversation in a smooth way. Could you write like a sample dialog of a "commitment talk" XD Thanks for your answer.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 07:41 PM
3

Oh, you're right. Longer trips do take care of these matters, especially when you've dated for a longer period of time. Wow, the content of your comments on this thread have just been on point. I'm completely converted to no-cohabitation-before-marriage now. Sort of a relief to finally have clarified this important vetting standard.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 07:25 PM
2

Excuse my asking directly about your life again, but can you tell me how you waited eight months before sleeping with you husband? Not that you couldn't wait, but how did you get him to wait that long? Even with a RPW like yourself, I thought that men were so horny they wouldn't wait that long lest they were religious.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 07:14 PM
2

Ooh, this is interesting :D I've read so many comments on RPW about "communicating your goals clearly with your SO"; "state your expectations"; "have the talk early so you don't need to resort to ultimatums". But I just couldn't imagine how I would go about it smoothly. Could you enlighten me with the conversation you had with your husband on your second date? And if you don't mind, directly quoting some of that good stuff :D P.S: Congratulations on your recent wedding :D
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 07:07 PM
2

The way to determine how long to wait IMO is - until you've cleared out all the why not's. Once you realize that there's no reason why not to continue with him/her, then you're ready to commit I understand this. But you know when YOU want to commit. How do you know if HE is committed? When RPW says "no sex before commitment", how do you know when you have his commitment? Marriage is obvious, but I suppose there are other signs of commitment as well. Could you give me your definition and example …
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 07:03 PM
3

I don't have short-term advice for you, only the long-term savings-turn-into-investments-turn-into-passive-income types. I really think you should check out Mr Money Mustache's blog. He speaks of living frugally, saving money and investing (and early retirement!) Also, if you have crafty skills, you could sell stuff on etsy. You could also look into reselling things on eBay. Sell old stuff you don't need as well, one can be very surprised how much one has.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 06:56 PM
1

I'm curious though, what topics should you discuss to make sure you're compatible and can live together? 'Cause the things that actually matter about sharing a life seem far too many and concrete to enumerate. Should we discuss: How long do you use the bathroom, when? Are you chronically constipated? Are you an early bird? How messy are you? How OCD neat are you? Are you a fussy eater? How loud do you chew? (seriously, loud, squishy chewing is a huge pet peeve of mine) How much space do you take…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 06:40 PM
4

What do you want for the rest of your life? You should decide what you want for the rest of your life, and make decisions that lead to that goal RIGHT NOW. The rest of your life is not something that "happens" later, it doesn't take care of itself later on. It happens because of the choices you make NOW. If you can see yourself happy sharing this man, stay. If you can't, leave. 'Cause he won't change for anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 06:32 PM
8

I agree that she should stop choosing to waste her own time. But as a correction, no one "deserves" anything. You deserve what you earn through the right choices, and even then, you're not guaranteed to succeed.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 06:30 PM
3

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, despite having put so much effort in the relationship. While you're doing a great job of the more feminine "duties" (supportive, sex, homemaking), it could be that you're too "prim", and lacking the fun and spontaneous "non-duties-but-necessaries". I think you would benefit from the advice of this sidebar post.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 06:23 PM
1

the more the art creates a situation where you can get hurt, the most masculine the results usually Yes that makes sense. Encouraging such hobbies shouldn't be difficult, since I genuinely find bruises and wounds sexy XD
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 03:44 PM
2

Oh okay, thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 10:24 AM
1

That's actually very specific, actionable advice. Do you think there's a difference in masculinity between the different martial arts? Taekwondo seems to me like a dance, and there are too many rules for it to emulate some kind of fight. Krav Maga seems like a good choice. Samurais are just crazy.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 10:07 AM
2

Yup, vetting is the most important prerequisite for a happy C/FM relationship. Like why would you choose someone you'd want to change? The whole process is just easier and better when you genuinely wouldn't change a thing about him. The guy loves the authentic appreciation and the absence of nagging, the woman is happy. But hey, some women would nag even Christian Grey.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 09:27 AM
2

:) and the power of fake-it-'till-you-make-it. I grew up in a feminist, egalitarian household. I stumbled upon TRP last summer and read a WHOLE lot. Logically, I definitely knew TRP is true, but applying the behavioral changes was quite difficult. There was always this angry voice: "Speak your mind! Contribute to your team by giving ALL your suggestions!". But shutting up came more naturally over time :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 09:21 AM
1

I agree, there is a difference between purposeful deference and laziness. I don't remember who said it, but a woman shouldn't just be napping on a sled pulled by her man, but should help make the sled-pulling easier or something. I think she should make clear that she supports her SO, and would help with the solution-finding or the execution of the task whenever he asks. But again, no unsolicited advice.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 09:16 AM
1

Oh, my title must have been misleading. I don't really have trouble with applying the dynamic in my life, I was just pondering why some people might :) But your post is indeed a most important guide when I'm in doubt.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 09:54 PM
2

I have read that post :) But I'm not sure what you mean by linking to that post as an answer to mine. I did reread it. Is this the part you wanted me to notice? Being submissive isn't the same as being passive. Not at all! A passive person just lets things happen to them. Being submissive is about trusting your husband to make the right decisions and to lead your family in the right direction.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 05:55 PM
6

I love any act of service that involves bringing homemade food to his office :D He feels cared for and fussed about. Plus, he then has an opportunity to show off how great his woman is to his colleagues XD I can imagine there's nothing a man is more proud to say than "What, this homemade bologna sandwich with butter-fried bread? My chick whipped it up this morning."
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 05:52 PM
3

Haha! His pinup art is gorgeous plus as well! The paintings actually give me tingles XD Y'know, I was quite skeptical of his blog at first, with the simple and slightly shady layout. This combines with his very lavish and verbose writing style kind of gives off a starving artist vibe :D
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 05:45 PM
1

I'm so sorry you are going through this deeply conflicting situation. The good things about him that you mention here do seem like good qualities, which make this situation even more painful. I hope that if possible, you can make a list of deal breakers in a partner. If abuse and disrespect are on that list, your husband would not qualify to be in your life. Feelings are not rational, and the effects of losing a child are unfathomable. But you are in no way to blame for miscarrying! I hope you c…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 05:40 PM
24

I don't think you can overdo motherliness and nurture. Athol Kay of marriedmansexlife made a very good point when he pointed out that alpha and beta traits are not on one spectrum, they are two separate categories of traits (bear with me, this will be relevant :D). The definition of alpha and beta traits are: Alpha: creating attraction Beta: creating comfort, security and bonds It's interesting to note that while the alpha traits for men and women differ, their beta traits are essentially the sa…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 12:43 PM
2

I meant to distinguish between control as a result of ego and control as a result of optimizing. Like some people don't want to relinquish control because of pride or just wanting to be the leader, whereas some other people want control only because they want the outcome to be a certain way. The latter group wouldn't take the wheel if their current leader does things in the exact same way as they would do. Whereas the first group would want to be the leader for the sake of it (glory, the thrill …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 12:24 PM
5

men tend to thrive on creating something from nothing while women tend to thrive on maximizing the value of the existing something. This is soooo true! It's like men build the house, women take the house and make a home :) And how someone can be against the idea of building a team, each member doing what they do best, is mind-boggling to me. It's creating a superhuman unit instead of staying a half-finished individual!
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 08:25 AM
2

Your comment reminds me of Ian Ironwood's post about betting on the horse, not the race. I occasionally browse TRP, and a dominating sentiment in their LTR-game posts is how the man is NEVER supposed to be vulnerable, how the man should never confide in his woman, or she'd branch swing . I was very saddened by the thought, but I have no experience on the matter, so I couldn't guess whether I'd try and jump ship at the first sign of difficulty. But clearly it is false! There are women who stay! F…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 08:06 AM
3

I agree with the others that you should leave this man ASAP. So many things are confusing in your situation. Why are you separated but tried once more to have a kid? You cannot stress how great this man is, yet through his actions (that you've retold), I've not yet found one redeeming quality. I understand it is hard not to be affected by how long you've been with him. Try as much as possible to look at your situation objectively. What makes you want to stay with him? How does he add value to yo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 07:58 AM
2

Yeah, I understand your point. This actually makes the vetting process much more tangible now :) Btw, I did notice a difference when making the why not list. There is this sort of final satisfaction, that is if the guy doesn't have any of these deal breakers, then he's the guy. It doesn't matter that someone else even more confident comes along, because the criteria is simply to not be a pushover, and I'm happy :D.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 07:43 AM
1

Thank you for your answer. "Your mom is allowed to be in your business. You're her child" really made me tender with emotion :) With regards to paying for the summer courses, I know that she wouldn't hesitate to let me take them, and I don't feel that she is unreasonable in practical regards. I'm more affected by her reminders. I really don't know. I want to understand whether my feeling put off by her reminders is reasonable, and if not, then I'd proceed by ignoring these emotions. I've thought…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 10:30 PM
2

You are absolutely right that if I demand a lot from him, I must hold myself to an equally high standard. About the why not vs why yes, I read that post before reading this one and tried to implement that mentality. It's funny, 'cause it felt extremely backwards for me to write a list of why nots (negatives), since I'm so used to a list of "must-haves" (positives). I tried to convert my list to a why not list, which maybe defeats your intention with the why not list, but I did it anyway to see i…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 10:12 PM
2

I divide my list into 3 categories: manliness, interpersonal skills and compatibility. Under manliness are the traits that command respect, regardless of whether he is IMO likable or not. Interpersonal skills are the traits I consider essential for any long-term relationships (including friendships). Under compatibility are just my core values, that translate to highest priorities. We should share many of these, or there would too often be a conflict of interest. So here is my list: Manliness: H…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 11:20 AM
1

Oh thank you! :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/17 01:15 PM
1

Oooh, thank you! I'll look into Cleveland.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/17 09:21 AM
1

Oh yeah! I really don't like Seattle-like puny, pathetic rain. Like, if you're gonna rain, rain like a shower, dammit! And actually, floods can be quite entertaining (if no one dies, that is).
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 02:30 PM
1

Same here. If someone had any insider comments. Plus, I've heard that it isn't a very green place, and nature isn't so prevalent there. If anyone has knowledge on this, that'd be great!
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 12:39 PM
1

That's true. It's difficult for me to visit though, as I live in Europe. Just have to do a ton of research and hope for the best :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 12:38 PM
1

One problem I have with many Southern cities though, is the lack of green, or just nature really. I just find myself going back to Colorado... Maybe even Nebraska. i'm so picky
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 10:40 AM
1

These towns are starting to sound really good! I'm considering Louisiana and Atlanta, Georgia. (but still assessing Colorado) I once read a description of Southerners along the lines of " They are very friendly and open. One can easily befriend them, but to become a close friend with them is hard. They're like peaches, soft and welcoming on a more superficial level. Very hard to get to know the core. " What's your take on this :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 07:34 AM
1

Yeah... I see what you mean. Even Bill Gates doesn't create an air of masculinity :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 07:25 AM
1

I've looked into Louisiana after your recommendation, and it seems like a really cozy place :) How do you feel the weather is there?
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 07:20 AM
1

Hi Frog_Princess :) I completely agree that I should prioritize the financial aspect of it all. In fact, I didn't plan on going to CalTech if I didn't get financial aid (which is next to impossible for non-citizens). So I planned on going to San Jose State University, since the place is a huge feeder school for tech companies (and costs much less). Retiring early is definitely a dream of mine, and ideally I'd want to live near Fort Collins, Colorado (so beautiful and supposedly very friendly peo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/17 08:19 PM
1

Hi, and thank you for what must have been a very time-consuming answer :) "There's an old saying that you don't marry a man for money. You hang out with people that have money and marry for love." I won't forget this saying XD I definitely understand the importance of what you're saying. I want to understand further though, and make actionable, practical goals of your advice. Here are some things I don't quite understand: "Unfortunately, most of these companies are based in areas where all the b…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/17 07:50 PM
1

Hi :) Funny you lived in Copenhagen, I'm Danish :) Yeah, I think I've decided on San Jose, since San Jose State University is a huge feeder school of software engineers to many tech companies. The laws on working and immigration for non-residents are just so strict... And thanks for the internship offer from your cousin. Maybe I'll write you in 3 years :D
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/17 07:37 PM
1

L.A sounds amazing. I'm just really stumped as to how I will get permanent residence. Lol, now I have more than one incentive to get married early :D
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/17 07:35 PM
1

It's nice to get an insider's perspective :) I wonder though, when you write "Just prepare to pay a lot of money to enjoy it", do you mean because everything costs more or because you naturally buy more as a result of living there? And why is it that people love living in L.A so much? Like would I be able to find someone who maybe, might, somehow want to settle down in Colorado? (lol I know it's an impossible question for you to answer, but I'm just wondering what keeps people from leaving this …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 08:00 PM
1

That sounds amazing! And hey u/asteadyheart , it's not like the uneven gender ratio at tech schools didn't cross my mind ;) Less competition, more quality guys in one place haha!
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 07:54 PM
2

Lol, payscale is my main criteria for choosing schools. All of these "academic" rankings by usnews and such don't really mean much, when what college is supposed to do is prepare you for the job market.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 07:50 PM
1

Oh hi MsSadieDunham! I've seen and remembered your many useful contributions in this sub! I'm so honored :D Yeah, it'd be amazing to live a place where one could invite the neighbors and the husband's colleagues over, where the men would drink whisky in the living room while the women cook together! Just the thought gives me butterflies :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 07:48 PM
1

Oh cool! If they like getting married in the first place, it's up to me to keep us from getting divorced muhahaha!
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 07:43 PM
1

Yeah, that's also why I prefer pure tech schools like Caltech and MIT.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 10:03 AM
2

Speaking of great cities, I think a smaller town in Colorado is one of the best places. I've heard so many people raving about the sense of community in Longmont, Fort Collins etc. and the general friendliness. When I think of the 50s, I think of neighborliness, hanging on the porch, babysitting each other's kids :D Plus, nature!
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 10:02 AM
2

Thank you for such an in-depth answer :) I actually heavily considered the South (what with Southern Hospitality and their gorgeous accent) but I didn't really know much about the conservativeness of the men and the dating scene. Is interracial dating common there?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/17 09:59 AM
1

Oooh, thank you for the great ideas! Added.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/17 04:39 PM
1

For me, it's not so much affording as prioritizing. You're right that if he cannot AFFORD it, then that'd be a turnoff. But if he doesn't feel the need to OWN a washer, then that's fine with me.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/17 04:37 PM
2

Frugality is definitely also a must for me. Some wonderful RPW-users recommended early retirement à la Mr. MoneyMustache to me, and it has been a must-have trait for me ever since. And in general, having the share-anything-you-can approach is a plus for me #savetheenvironment . Carpooling, buying a whole cow and sharing the meat with your neighbors, eating EVERYTHING from an animal, sharing tools etc.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/17 04:35 PM
2

It's so funny that something seeming so mundane and ubiquitous is actually one of the best places ever! :D
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/17 04:31 PM
1

Hi u/MsSadieDunham , I do mean a general list, so most people who want ideas can take actionable steps and go to these places. However, I did find u/kokoroutasan 's suggestion very interesting, since fetish places have not once crossed my mind! It was quite funny, actually.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/17 04:17 PM
2

You're completely right, it's like a social barrier is removed when everyone knows why they're here. I will add online dating under my meetup bulletpoint :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/17 04:11 PM
3

You're right that the laundromat is a mixed bag. I put it in there not as a place full of the "right" men, but more to increase one's exposure to men in general. I'll rewrite the purpose of this post :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/17 09:57 AM
3

There was an article on the manosphere mentioning how badly most women treat unattractive men, compared to how men treat unattractive women. That most women (especially attractive women) have absolutely no patience, empathy or even sympathy for unattractive men, and treat them worse than dirt. This is something I'm working hard on, never to treat any "low-status" person badly, and even go the extra mile to be kind to them. After all, they're the ones who need it most. Anyway, my point in respons…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/17 04:14 PM
6

Your comment made me smile :D
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/17 08:28 AM
2

This is SOO CUTE!! (I love that they made the meow-voiceovers with a human voice)
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/17 08:25 AM
8

A woman can of course enjoy this trait as much as a man. I mean I'm the same as you when I come home. I think that both men and women want a mixture of feminine and masculine traits in a partner, but that their partner's default is their own gender's typical traits. For example, a man wants a feminine woman who is very pleasant and vulnerable. However, if they are long-term partners, they will come across difficulties. And during those hard times, I'm sure the man would appreciate a woman who ca…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/17 08:22 AM
1

Ooh, where do you buy your lingerie :) I've really been into online shopping and deals lately (especially vintage fashion) and I find L'agent by Agent Provocateur GORGEOUS!! but bank breaking to say the least...
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/17 12:31 PM
1

Cool! When you say you taught yourself these skills online, did you just read and learn through trial and error, or did you also take online courses? I'm very interested in languages. However being a translator doesn't pay that much, though it is a very relaxing job. I'm reading about computer science to find out whether it's interesting right now, and hoping that learning programming languages somehow fit into my love of languages.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/17 04:03 PM
1

I just love your no-bullshit, to-the-point style of writing XD The saving money part definitely makes sense, and would be ideal. Living with many roommates is a great idea! Food is just such an integral skill. One saves a ton of money by just never eating out. But I still want to take at least 1 year of cooking, and work as a line cook. I just want to take cooking to the next level. On frugal living: I've found that to maximize my appearance, I can't live as frugally as I would like to. Skincare…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/17 03:59 PM
1

Thanks for your answer! Two people have recommended C.S AND Mr. Money Mustache now :D There must be real potential there! I'm really looking into C.S and the working conditions seem wonderful. I'm just trying to figure out whether I am somewhat interested in it. I mean I'd have no problem studying something that I don't LOVE, if it supports my ideal lifestyle. But it's quite difficult to work with something you hate. That's so funny you should mention that anecdote about thinking one would never…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 03:27 PM
2

You're right, nursing is a very flexible job in that sense. But I was under the impression that nursing is extremely stressful. Thank you for the idea :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/17 07:30 PM
2

Oh wow u/rivertorain , I don't know why but your answer really caused an epiphany for me. Thank you for your elaborate advice :') I will definitely consider the possibility of working in tech seriously now. Right now however, I have just about no clue about the industry. Can I ask you, what would I be doing exactly? Would I be the software developer? And why should I work at a startup specifically? If you dropped out of college, how did you get a job in this, I assume, new field for you? Should …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 11:11 PM
2

Thank you! Your insights from your friends are so useful! 18 hour days are absolutely INSANE!! Those falsely-advertised 10-hours per day are suddenly so attractive... I definitely don't want to do that long-term. But I don't plan on it either. I think I'd only work as a financial analyst for those junior years, then when time comes for advancement to portfolio manager, I'd take a simpler job, like accounting or something. Financial analysts typically start by specializing in a specific investmen…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 09:46 AM
2

Thank you for your thoughtful reflections :) I think I'll follow your advice and reduce the gap year duration to 1 year. The way I wrote the post made it seem like I'm considering this job only for the money. Though it is the primary concern for me, I also love the field. Through this job, I get to explore many other companies and thus other jobs. It's basically a whole career of learning about other people's ingenuity and then making money of it with them! I'll definitely try to consider all th…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 09:37 AM
2

Thank you :) I'm curious, does that mean that you are currently supporting your husband, who is the breadwinner? Where did you meet him :D
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 09:28 AM
2

Haha! I wish I could go directly to college. The truth is, I have to take at least one gap year, since I'm going to get some plastic surgery done that needs healing. And the top priority of any RPW is lookin' good, right?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 09:26 AM
3

Thank you for your insight :) (sigh) Wanting it all. Sometimes I wish I had an Age of Adaline button to stop aging for 5 years, then restart (or never age at all!) If you are considering investing, don't be afraid to try. Through my mother's network, I've been able to ask many investors many questions. And they encouraged non-professionals to invest. Of course you should do your research first, but it isn't impossible in any way. And remember: Start small. The learning experience is exactly the …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 09:19 AM
1

Haha! I love planning almost masochistically :D But thanks for advice. The associate's degree, do you mean in Finance?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 08:52 AM
2

The definition of "Financial analyst" that I mean is actually in the U.S. It's basically collecting data, sorting them and analyzing them to make the right investment decisions. In the beginning, one specializes in one type of investment, for example equity only, and get acquainted. I read about the job on different sources, and some like Investopedia say that employers sort through the applicants and that they much prefer the applicants from good schools. The type of financial analyst that I me…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 08:49 AM
1

Can I ask you, how come you're already in the 4th year at uni, yet you're only twenty? Are you a genius?
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/16 03:02 PM
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