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sharksfreakmeout Archive

View 9 posts and 61 comments by sharksfreakmeout on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Thanks for the response. What if I don't have the means to use a lawyer? I'm in pretty dire financial circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 11:08 PM
2

Thanks for the response. What if I don't have the means to use a lawyer? I'm in pretty dire financial circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 11:06 PM
13

Yes, it is absolute absurdity and lack of sense. I've stayed awake many nights feeling like a straight jacket has been placed upon me due to the complete unfairness and injustice of the system. It makes no sense. However the knowledge that I'm not alone and have brothers who can understand has brought me some relief. It also reminds me of the poem " If" by Rudyard Kipling ... "...If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you g…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 06:45 AM
1

Damn somebody is sassy. You don't know anything about me? Where is the data to back up your claim of "often"? Additionally, my comment is to help another brother out.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 02:11 AM
1

This is not true for all cases. In my case the court expected me to pay for child support before the final hearing that happened 3 years later. My lawyer also had advised me to pay before the divorce was finalized. They factored in any money paid to her before our divorce was finalized. If I'd had not paid it would have hurt my case even more. Make sure to consult your lawyer on this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 01:39 AM
8

Can you share tips for dealing with your narc ex? We finished the court proceedings last year but the "co-parenting" has been unbearable. If we weren't able to get along during the marriage, the inability to get along now has been compounded. Most issues come from her trying to control me and my life through our kids...and then it's me being stubborn and fighting her attempt to control me. I've heard about grey rocking and limiting contact but the one thing this woman has been consistent in is t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 08:45 PM
1

Thanks for posting. I haven't watched the full clip but have been hearing similar advice. is this something that can be done after the divorce process? I'm already done with the divorce process but came out with very unfair ruling.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 12:58 AM
2

Bro i feel you and had a very similar experience with mediation. Plus my ex is a selfish bitch that dragged out the divorce process for 3 years and we had 0 assets besides a 401k that had less than 50k. I wanted 50/50 and ultimately didn't get it because my ex painted me as a non involved father. It's funny how we try to handle things logically and expect the system to do the same yet you find bias and agendas everywhere. Fuck this family court shit. It's insanity. Keep going strong brother and …
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:22 AM
1

I obviously get everything you are saying but the point is her mom isn't charging her...mom is funneling money right back to her... additionally her mom moved 3 hours away and kids say my ex is at home and no one else is watching them...mil isn't caring for the children
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 07:12 PM
3

Of course i didn't agree. The judge ruled it despite my objections to it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 01:09 PM
5

I've heard this before but from what I was told in my state the ex can go back to the courts and demand i be inputted at my potential. Infact i was going to grad school during my divorce and they calculated everything on my potential. Oh and get this...the judge even fucked up on the imputation amount by idiotically adding an extra 10k and when we told him he was wrong he said go ahead and take it to the court of appeals
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 11:06 PM
2

I completely agree. Was that the case for you? My "sentencing" was child support (which im fine paying because it's supposed to go to the kids), alimony (ridiculous), split 50/50 medical, extra curricular activities, and childcare. Oh and I only was able to get 40% custody. The family law system is ran by a bunch of idiots.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 11:02 PM
2

Appreciate the comment. My lawyer, who i truly thought was good, said that nothing can be done and i sort of believe him given the horrible experience I've had with the commissioner and judge. They completely pegged me as an absent and uncommitted father because i was unemployed while getting a graduate degree during the divorce. Their literal expectation was for me to just "quit school, get a job, and pay for my kids". WRT right?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 09:27 PM
4

Appreciate the comment. The funny thing is that I even had a text message from right after our separation of my ex promising that childcare would be free from her MIL...the judge didn't even bat an eye. It's so fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 09:22 PM
11

Thank you for this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 11:15 PM
9

Dude! I'm so happy for you. I wish I could get a big break like that. My ex is def hiding shit with her current BF but I've heard to prove cohabitation in court is really challenging. What did you lawyer do to verify that she was indeed cohabitating?
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 07:52 PM
2

Are you Mormon by chance? The way you describe things
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 06:02 PM
12

What you wrote really resonated with me. I have a very similar story. Man oh man the gaslighting you probably are going through is tough. There are women who are so terribly narcissistic that it's never enough no matter what you do for your family, the kids, or her. Before my divorce i felt i had lost myself completely. It got to the point that the only joy i had was waking up and seeing my kids and coming home and spending time with my kids. Everything else felt numb. My wife expected more and …
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 05:57 PM
2

Incredible news! Congrats brother. Any tips or learnings that you can share for those of us who are still fighting?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 09:37 PM
4

You need to document everything. My ex did the same. Copy the email communications, record conversations, watch out for new biases that may be formed with your new boss and how she reviews your performance. I was not careful enough with my documenting of these issues and when it came to the financial issues she won. Had i been able to show her impact on my work and her actions forcing me to leave my job due to harassment by my boss i probably would have had a better outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 06:50 PM
1

Nnbjjn fmmj.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 09:39 PM
1

Thank you! I'm also wondering if this is something that needs or should be done post-divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 02:18 PM
1

Can you point to any articles or provide more details for this strategy? I'd like to learn how to leverage this
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 07:24 PM
1

How did you handle communication when kids are with you? With summer break and extended vacation time around the corner, she tends to pick up her annoying behaviors. I.e. wanting to setup calls with the kids where she employs parental alienation techniques so the kids feel like they are missing out when they aren't with her. She has consistently done this in the past and it's so frustrating and I've tried to limit phone calls during visitations. Being vulnerable here...i get knots in my stomach …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 06:08 PM
16

Yes, the clever ones can be dangerous but sometimes the idiots are even more dangerous because they act recklessly and consistently.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 11:58 PM
1

The advice already given is true. It's hard to change how you see her and imagine a life divorced but there are many positive surprises that await you on the other side. The truth is that you need to put on your self-love hat. You need to prepare for a battle even if it seems like she will be amicable. Prepare now with envisioning the life that YOU want. It seems like she doesn't want the same life so it's her loss. Figure out your work stuff so that you can get a better work life balance and re…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 03:50 PM
3

My thought is why you even need to explain anything. It's your life. No explanation needed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 10:27 PM
3

My mother turned her back on me due to religious reasons and because she wanted to maintain the relationship with my ex. This has caused so many problems for me during and after my divorce. I used to be quite open with her and seek her advice. She even used to comment on how disappointed she was in my ex with regards to how she parented, her cleanliness, etc...shortly after i told her i wanted a divorce her judgmental side turned on and she literally told me she prefers my ex. She continues to s…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 08:29 PM
3

It makes sense to me... Unfortunately when I moved away and focused on myself by working on a graduate degree so i could make a pivot in my career and increase my earning potential to better provide for my children i got shitted on in court because I should have dropped everything to be with my kids (and closer to high conflict narc ex)...i was told by 2 judges that it didn't matter what my intention was i should have dropped everything and moved where my ex moved to so i could be closer to the …
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 01:38 PM
4

Keep strong and level headed. Sending positive vibrations your way!
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 01:26 PM
1

I just typed up my explanation of this and will let you know how it goes. It's very clear and logical. My case is being considered as a shortfall case in terms of alimony...where they are trying to equalize our incomes in order to have similar standards of living...without taking the net income argument into consideration she would be living off of 3 times as much as me (alimony + CS)...I think the advice you gave truly puts into perspective how BS it is for the courts to only consider gross inc…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 07:24 PM
2

Wow! This is exactly the type of answer i was hoping to find. I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to write this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 01:18 PM
2

It would be great having a friend like you. Good for you for caring.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 04:09 AM
4

I'm in a similar boat. What helped you win it? My ex is extremely narcissistic and manipulative. Our inability to co parent has been my downfall. I refuse to cater more to her and bend to her will... Unfortunately it makes me look like the bad guy
/r/MensRights02/05/22 04:04 AM
1

What did you mean by not playing the game? I don't see it as that simple
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 09:50 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 03:24 PM
2

Where did you find this?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 02:47 PM
2

Yes, yes, yes. This is exactly my situation. My oldest tells me he doesn't like going back home because his mom doesn't take care of him. The system is so flawed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 02:43 PM
2

Do you think that's dependent on the state you live in or the judge you had? In my state it's and for my decree i have to split costs
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 02:37 AM
1

Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case for me...maybe it was because we were going to court for the divorce...the judge dinged me for not going to practices and stuff...even though I had a valid excuse of being in school and working. We have language in terms of who has ultimate say but we didn't cap total expenses per year. I need to look into that. Thanks for the comment
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 02:36 AM
2

Thank you! I appreciate the thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 03:51 PM
2

Thank you! I appreciate the thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 03:49 PM
1

Are you divorced with kids? And, are you remarried?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 03:45 AM
2

The specific issue is that my ex is asking me to take the kids next week due to her going to surgery. I'm happy to take the kids because my son has an important event that I want to take him to but my wife doesn't want me to because she hates the idea of helping my ex out. I'm not coming at it from wanting to help me ex rather it's works out because I actually wanted to get the the time with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 10:12 PM
2

It's not so black and white. Also, if you research it seems pretty common for step mother's to struggle here and there. Sometimes you cannot prepare or anticipate everything.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 09:31 PM
1

I appreciate this response. I went ahead and asked for this and offered my dad to watch them too. I'll see what she says.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 11:54 PM
4

+1 to this. Similar story. I initiated the divorce with good intentions and IMHO with fairness...she took up arms and started the war.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 04:21 PM
3

I'm heading towards an appeal and have evidence of perjury... My lawyer says none of that will matter... It bugs me when he says that and I feel like it cannot be the case. Thanks for suggesting because I will push him to use it
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 04:20 PM
2

Motion for perjury??? Have you actually had success with that? I thought family law courts don't give a damn about that
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 06:06 AM
2

I agree with this 100%. This is parental alienation...whether it works on kids or not. The unfortunate thing is the court expects us to ALWAYS take the high road. It happened to me for a few years while I was away living in another state. It's frustrating. I know. But the truth is that kids really don't need those daily calls. Especially if mom is trying to sabotage your time and if you are getting consistent physical contact with them. I was a child of divorce and didn't have the opportunity of…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 03:15 PM
1

Damn man! I'm sad to hear your experience. Also comforted knowing we aren't alone.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 02:33 AM
2

I just saw a talk about a similar model... spire: spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional. Great advice. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 02:32 AM
1

Great advice. I definitely have enjoyed the gym days. Gets hard when I have my kids with me...but due to your comment I'm actually going to lift tonight at home while I'm with them. No excuses right? It's comforting knowing you can make it out alive. Definitely days that I want to disappear. Thanks again!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 02:30 AM
5

I cannot tell you how much this got to me. It feels good to know that someone can relate. It's crazy how important a support system is. I literally have only 2 people for support due to my ex turning people away from me. Now I'm growing out of the cave that I've been in, due to my divorce. Thanks for the support
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 02:28 AM
1

You got this and remember you are not alone...watch this to get you through the tough times: https://youtu.be/sqOgyNfHl1U
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 05:04 AM
15

I'm about 30-35%...tbh too mad to really look at the amount...Im recently divorced and the financial injustice has been keeping me up at night...any advice?
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 01:31 AM
2

Is her name (enter most women's name)
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 03:48 AM
7

That's a hard question to answer because if you have to pay for amicability would it really be the type of amicability you want. I don't think so IMHO. My thought is that it would be fake and once the dollars stop coming in the other party would not be as nice and cooperative as you might think. My ex claims she wants amicability but its at the price of keeping a facade and doing what ever she wants me to do. No thank you. Also, parallel parenting in my opinion is best when there is a challenge …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 11:23 PM
8

100% agree and was not implying to let your guard down
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:02 AM
7

Mathew 15:8 "This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me."...just because they are baptized, claim they have accepted Christ into their life, or call themselves Christian doesn't automatically make them good people
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 04:21 AM
7

Sounds like my story. The only caveat was that her uncle was her lawyer and destroyed me in court. Now my ex posts videos on social media boasting about how she works so hard and raises our kids on her own. Complete BS. I contribute over 4k total in support, alimony, and child care.. More than what she makes on her own...plus she continues to fight for more and spends the money on herself (tattoos, Botox, boyfriend, clothes for herself, leaves my kids in raggedy clothes). I'm educated (MBA) she …
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 12:37 AM
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