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simplicityduplicity Archive

View 8 posts and 184 comments by simplicityduplicity on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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21

🥺🥺🥺💜 Congrats, OP! We love to see it! I wish you both a life of wonderful wedded bliss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:12 AM
53

Exactly this. And I’ll bet she’s now begun formulating a plan to leave. If not this year, then pretty soon thereafter. This was her final straw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 07:53 PM
5

Happy birthday! Congratulations on the self-discoveries and insights and growth. Glad to have you here. 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 09:16 PM
51

Here’s my take: some of them (maybe more than some) wanted to “ruin” the hot girl by baby-trapping them. She gives you children, but her body ages and isn’t the same anymore. She gains weight that is hard to lose with little ones in the picture, and you won’t lift a single finger to help. She gets resentful, as she should, and she finally leaves you. I’ve never been more thankful than now to be sterilized. Fuck these guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 08:15 PM
14

$8k is nothing in comparison to the price of peace of mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 02:58 PM
35

“I’m so embarrassed to explain this to family and friends.” Then maybe you should’ve kept your word and thought about your fiancée’s feelings over a temporary dick sensation. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 02:44 PM
45

Came here to say this. OP, this the best opportunity to delete your old social media accounts and start brand new ones. Make sure to fix the settings so that your pages can’t be found via your phone number, too. Edit: also, congratulations on grad school! You’ll do great! 🎉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 12:45 PM
15

Madonna Whore Complex is super strong in these dudes, and is especially prevalent where I live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:24 AM
71

This is the feeling I get, too. I’ll bet he’s shooting blanks and just wants a chance to fuck the younger sister. He’s a disaster and I hope she leaves him in the dust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:06 PM
22

He’s acting out his obvious Mother Wound and calling it a relationship. She quit her job to induce lactation for this scrote fulltime and calls it a special bond. This is toxic and incestuous as fuck. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 08:36 PM
148

Wow. 😳 Fuck that guy all the way off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 04:08 AM
276

He hasn’t spoken to her in 4 days because he was caught in his bullshit and he can’t handle the fact she sees right through him and his bullshit excuses. Also, anyone else notice the age deets? If he married her when she was just 21, he was legit replacing his ex with the “hot, naïve” thing to flex on his wife. ETA: stories just like these are so common where I live, and a big reason why I refuse to have kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 02:44 PM
16

I’m so tired of these dudes wanting a harem of women. You never see women looking to have a whole menagerie of guys. The very first thing I think of when I see “ENM”, even if it’s legit and she’s aware of and ok with it is community dick. Hard pass. Every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:04 AM
152

His wife has four children, one of whom pretended to be her partner. I can’t believe the gall of this man to think she wouldn’t give up and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:06 AM
4

In the past, I’ve always set a Christmas present limit with my partners, usually anywhere between $250-750, depending on our current career standings or relationship level (dating or married). I’ve been lucky in the fact that every partner I’ve had has followed through (and sometimes surpassed) the number we agree upon. This is not to say that every gift has been thoughtful, and some have been way more about the guy than about me, but solid presents anyway. ETA: I normally bring up the limit ear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 02:42 AM
39

“They say no but they definitely watching and spending money on it while their girl asleep.” This. This right here. The double standard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:15 PM
112

Been there, done that, won’t do it again. Both times went up in flames because of unhealed relational issues they needed (but didn’t) seek therapy for. Also, having kids in the mix made everything more challenging. The one with kids wanted me to meet them way too soon. And because things were rocky between him and his ex wife, it didn’t seem fair for me to meet them and then disappear shortly thereafter. I think my one caveat to this rule in the future will be widowers, if they’ve done their due…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 02:59 PM
28

This is an awesome assessment and is reminiscent to me of covert narcissism versus overt narcissism. Both are evil, but there’s something even more insidious about covert narcissism simply because they hide so well among the masses, and can hide well within a relationship until that mask slips.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:47 PM
108

Men who turn your interests into a competition are also abhorrent. I had a couple guys who saw that I liked a certain band on my OLD profile, and it would somehow turn into a fan-off: “which of their albums was the best?” “Yeah, but did you like them before they became mainstream?” Instead of inquiring to form a connection, to better understand someone, they turn it into some kind of competition. Huge red flag and such a turn off for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:00 PM
200

I would’ve paid money to see his reaction after she said that. The kind of fumbling mental collapse. Just beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:01 PM
8

This. I feel like it’s never talked about. Trust is the difference between just pleasure or pleasure + actually cumming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:31 PM
8

It’d be one level of embarrassment if she paid on her own with her card, but the fact that he passes her card off as his own for some clout is just 🤡🤡🤡 levels of embarrassment. ETA: what kind of conversation even happens after leaving the restaurant? I’m imagining him going, “thanks for letting me pretend to be a man today, babe” like WHAT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 02:36 PM
15

And this is exactly why I either workout from home or go before the crack of dawn. The gym is riddled with perverts and predators everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:02 AM
12

Same height as you and I completely feel this post. I still find myself hunching and have to correct myself constantly throughout each day. I also sidetracked years of wearing some of my favorite boots and tall heels because I didn’t want to be taller than whoever I was with at the time. I’m finally dusting off some of them and wearing them for the first time in years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:22 PM
6

Sis, I’m so sorry he put you through all that. It was never your fault. My ex was the same way- charismatic, and no one suspected him of having a drinking problem, much less an aggression problem. And I’m with you there, too, in that the trauma never leaves you. My heart still races and I feel sick whenever I hear anyone begin to raise their voice, even in cheer. What so many of these men don’t realize is that their effects are permanent. It doesn’t boil down to simply whatever they do while the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:38 PM
7

I went through a phase like this: denial about how bad it was/what happened, then shock, bitterness, and then I realized that I didn’t have to carry any of their abhorrent actions towards me anymore. It was never about me. I didn’t cause it, any of it. Everything spiteful they ever did was their own pain, projected towards me. I’m still in the process of setting down everything that was intended by them for me to carry, but I refuse to carry it anymore. And it’s so freeing to feel this way, thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:32 PM
9

An ex of mine had severe anger issues (along with being a “functioning” alcoholic) and would, on occasion, brag about angrily punching dents in the garage of the house he shared with roommates... I left before he had a chance to swing a fist at me. Never again will I date a man with anger issues/aggression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:20 PM
18

Also... the majority of college graduates are female, so that already puts us in a better competitive position career-wise. Education opens doors for us that wouldn’t otherwise be open. And the high-paying jobs are what make solid, buildable future income for retirement (think lawyers, doctors, STEM) and also provide a comfy life while you’re working in the field. Why do women have to be the only ones with aspirations? It makes no bloody sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:03 PM
83

Don’t marry the first man who asks. Or even the second. For that matter, finish your education first and solidify your career first before getting swept up in romantic notions that are all one-sided anyway. Stop dating potential and date reality instead. Stop hoping they’ll change, or treat you better. They won’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 10:27 PM
5

I understand where you’re coming from, but nowhere in my post did I wish ill upon anyone or their relationships. My message was: “don’t believe everything you see online, you don’t know the whole story.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 02:46 PM
14

You’ll find your laugh again too. It does take time. With that time, you won’t worry about being censored or shushed by anyone. And when you do reach that point, with those full-belly laughs, you feel like the full extension of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 03:23 AM
61

I once dated a man who would quiet my laughter, and if that’s not dimming someone’s light, I don’t know what is. I’ve always been very bubbly and personable, someone who laughs easily and, by his opinion, too loudly. I began to be less to accommodate him: laughed less, spoke less, shared less. It took some time, but I finally left him. It took me many months to finally laugh again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:55 AM
8

In no part of her post did she mention that she was interested in him. Dear lord. We are not merchandise to be pedaled to the male masses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:25 PM
31

I’m watching that part of The Crown right now, and once I saw Charles on the phone with Camilla, lamenting the fact that he “had” to marry Diana, it broke the whole fantasy for me. And then the bracelet he had made for Camilla... but don’t forget- poor, poor Charles, being forced to marry someone he doesn’t love or even like. Bring out a bottle for the tears
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:46 PM
61

My thoughts are this: being “jaded” in relation to being a female while attempting to date men is just being well-educated. There’s no negativity in having (and finally accepting) knowledge. It’s just being realistic and finally ditching the Disney-eyes we were born and grew up with. We see the world for how it really is, and we see men for how they really are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:37 PM
10

I used to be one of those women you spoke of, deadlifting multiple 45lb plates at the gym. I even got up to backsquatting just over 300 pounds. I will say that nothing beats the feeling of being so solidly strong and able to hold my own, should the worst occur. And while I’ve been working out at home during the pandemic, it’s definitely not the same. I’ve been missing the gym and my ferocity something intense. I miss the way people would instinctively move out of the way when I’d go grab my stac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 04:16 AM
270

I’ve spoken about this before, and it’s so important to reiterate: don’t fall into the trap of comparative suffering. If you’re not being met with the same level of respect you’re giving, the same level of affection, the same level of adoration that you’re giving, cut it off. This video speaks volumes, because while not every single man is hitting/abusing/raping women, enough men are getting away with cruelty in its own right, and that’s not ok. The moment we stop accepting less than what we’re …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:55 PM
7

The floating experience that you mentioned here is very common in abusive relationships. It’s called disassociation/depersonalization, and it’s a coping mechanism to help you get through the abusive episode with as little mental trauma as possible. Think of it as your brain’s safeguard to create a barrier to protect you during abuse. It’s a completely normal occurrence, given the situation. I’m sorry you went through all that, Sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:50 PM
3

Yep, I feel you. Also figuring out grad school right now, and this type and level of anxiety isn’t comparable to what kinds of shit my exes put me through. Also... what you describe here is common for abuse survivors: being triggered by places is part of C-PTSD. I hope you can continue to find healing, Sis. You deserve to feel lighter and whole again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:13 PM
6

I was on a high dosage of depression meds daily while with my last ex. He even took it in stride to remind me to take them everyday. Looking back, I realized that he liked that they made me more docile and an easier push over. I stopped taking them the same week I left him (I don’t recommend this, by the way! If you wanna go off them, make sure to taper off with your doctor’s assistance) and I haven’t needed them since. Nor do I feel the desire to nap most of the day, everyday. Everything has si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:53 PM
14

I’m finally at the point where I refuse to tell the guy how I feel before he does. Until then, I keep my hand of cards so damn close to my body. I won’t risk unreciprocated affection or feelings anymore. Until he says ILY (and means it with repeated actions), I’m free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:12 PM
10

Ewww, what in the lowest effort hell is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:09 PM
7

Or they’ll flag our comments in our own sub as hate speech against them... trying to get us banned from our own sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:14 PM
1

The false victimhood men place themselves into has always been so bizarre to me. Like, no one here is faulting you for being born a man. We’re faulting you for the things that you DO as a man, and not for standing up to other men who are doing horrible things. That is what we’re faulting you for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:58 AM
1

The false victimhood men place themselves into has always been so bizarre to me. Like, no one is faulting you for being born a man. We’re faulting you for the things that you DO as a man, and not for standing up to other men who are doing horrible things. That is what we’re faulting you for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:26 AM
86

And forget to wipe... or shower...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:29 PM
13

So... a blowup doll. He wants a(nother) blowup doll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:26 PM
139

And yet they blame everyone else for things that go wrong. Never any accountability or responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:23 PM
130

Oooh, this is so pretty and so my style, too! Nice choice! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:06 AM
19

I’d wager it’s all to appear WiFeY MaTerIaL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:16 AM
176

If he’s truly HV, his place will already be clean, Sis... because he’s a grown ass man who doesn’t need/isn’t looking for a maid, and he takes pride in keeping his place in order. ETA: “have boundaries but be flexible” has gotta be the most mind-numbing oxymoron I’ve ever read. Boundaries, by nature, are solid and firm. Immovable even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:19 AM
31

It’s gonna take some time, so I’ll bring the flashlights & some music
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 10:06 PM
17

😂😂💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 09:58 PM
114

I have an ex that, when asked why he wanted to be a father, deadpan said, and I quote, “well what other reason is there to being alive?” I’ve never stared so long and so incredulously at another human. Like you cannot think of EVEN ONE other reason to be alive? Literally one? Our incompatibility was never more glaring than in that moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:15 AM
13

This could’ve been me, three different times, so this is extremely harrowing to read. The only difference being I don’t think any one of my exes would’ve “missed” me, just blamed me for not just jumping back to who I was before it all. I will never trust a man enough to tether myself to him with a kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:26 AM
66

Imagine having such little willpower and decency that you blame other people for your own actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 07:04 PM
7

I feel as though I could written this myself. OP, we are all here for you. I know where you stand because I’ve been in those exact shoes with a borderline man who used his disorder as an excuse to justify his terrible actions and abuse towards me. I know you feel like you’re dealing with emotional whiplash right now. Once you’ve squared away your safety, make sure you upload all of your paper trail and securely lock it online- password protected. You want as many copies of your stuff as you can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:39 PM
9

The most misogynistic man I’ve ever met carried his Ph.D, so this isn’t a far reach for me. Their scholastic achievements make them feel they have the prowess and power to degrade everyone- mostly women- because they haven’t achieved as much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:27 PM
44

Oh my god, this clapback! 👑🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:22 PM
2

Thank you & you’re very welcome! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:53 PM
26

Jesus. Until I’d read the rest of his rant, I assumed he meant “daddy” in the gross BDSM sense. But instead... “you’d be LuCkY to even know my kids, much less have some with me” 😤 Ok, dude, you and your supposed super sperm need to relax. Your clapback is legendary and I will be stealing for later, should the need ever arise. 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 04:14 AM
9

You’re just like me in that way. So in regards to that, make sure you only agree to a second date after you’ve had that cool down period in between. It’ll give you time to remember the little details, both good and bad, so you don’t get so swept up in emotion. Also, be seeing other people in between dates so you can be fully aware of what’s out there. I had to approach dating like it’s a buffet: I wanted to “try out” lots of different people so I could zone in on what I truly needed and wanted m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:48 AM
29

I have gotten into the habit of journaling, which has been huge as I’ve vetted each guy I dated along the way. It helped me see them for a full scope: the good as well as all the bad. I’d do a thought experiment of how my life would be, in thorough detail, should I marry that man someday, based on everything that I knew about him: spends too much time on his phone while with me, makes snarky commentary about other patrons around us, talks only about himself, and so on. It’s so true what the Hand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:41 AM
73

Saving your post because you and I are very much soul sisters based on what we need and who we are in romantic relationships. I crave those very same things as you do. I need to be touched and often. I need to be constantly reassured (both verbally and nonverbally) that I’m cared about. And I’m here to say that wanting those things is beautiful and absolutely normal. And I also want to say that HVM do exist because I’m currently seeing someone who fits that bill for me. He’s extremely affectiona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:22 AM
208

If you have to make excuses for his behavior, D-I-V-O-R-C-E 👏🏼👏🏼 When he finally shows his true colors once you’ve made things more comfortable for him, D-I-V-O-R-C-E 👏🏼👏🏼 If you feel you need to start the advice question with positive traits he faked in the beginning, D-I-V-O-R-C-E 👏🏼👏🏼 Financial abuse is absolutely still abuse, so, D-I-V-O-R-C-E 👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 07:57 PM
47

💀😂💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 06:39 PM
69

Awww, his poor widdle feeweengs were hurt. 😂 “Woman bad. Won’t let me say and do terrible things.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:12 PM
3

Pheromones, my ass. Yeah, I just can’t resist the men who smell like moldy feces. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:07 PM
28

We love to see it (and hear about it)! So happy for you, Sis! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:08 PM
32

How is BASIC HYGIENE a “feminine trait”, you fucking putrid piece of human garbage?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:56 PM
44

Yes, girl! Boy byeeee 👋🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 01:40 PM
310

As soon as women stand up for themselves, extremely inappropriate things suddenly become just “a joke.” Typical NVM behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 01:40 PM
30

Exactly this. If he’s not watching videos from a traditional porn site, he’s following and jacking off to IG models, subscribes to girls on OnlyFans, etc. The scope of porn has gained so much breadth over the last 10 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 01:27 PM
60

It can’t be that hard, honestly. My HVM man and I surprise each other with little gifts every so often, but everything he’s given me has been so personalized and beautiful. Why? Because he’s paying attention
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:50 PM
75

Nothing says class quite like peeing your name into snow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:47 PM
21

Anger is a human emotion, and at its very core, FDS is all about women having human rights, so anger is absolutely necessary— nay, essential— to creating the life you deserve. I’m so proud of you, your journey, and your resilience. Cheers, Sis! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 08:32 PM
5

Total human garbage, that husband is. What a gaslighting prick. At the end of the day, a cheater is going to find a way to cheat, no matter of social status, finances, etc. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:35 PM
23

His... action figures 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:58 PM
28

😱😱😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:18 AM
90

I’ve gotta say, this is such an awkward thing to have to experience. And so disappointing also, when they try to blame going soft on nerves or stress, when it’s so clear that they simply won’t stop watching porn and death gripping their dicks. I won’t put up with any man who struggles to keep it up anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:00 AM
30

I can speak to the FWB portion of your comment, and it’s so definitively true that one night with a man is only going to lead to regret. Beyond just the wild risks of STDs and pregnancy, one night is way too short a time for a guy to get to know your body- what you like, how and where, to make a woman orgasm. In my experience, it was always a dude using me as a human Fleshlight. You just leave feeling used and abused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:20 PM
31

Never again will we be part of that nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:16 PM
24

I was also one of those Cool Girls who believed, for a long time, that being into casual sex was a good thing. When in all reality, it was only a good thing for the guys I was seeing. I rarely, if ever, got some sort of commitment out of it, and worse, generally would gain unreciprocated feelings for the guy during the situationship. My, how I have changed. Since then, I strictly save sex for committed relationships only. (Commitment first, sex second) But I have a bevy of sex toys of my own to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:13 PM
5

I relax at night with YouTube videos of “crystal singing bowls” and unwind my mind and body. Just some gentle stretching, meditation, and journaling my day out and any lingering thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:48 AM
25

Cheers, Queen! We are stoked to have you here! Welcome to freedom! 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:34 AM
23

His wife is showing so many symptoms of PPD, and the very last thing she needs right now is her husband and MIL negging her on her appearance. Jesus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:10 AM
84

And now he’s just gonna let the bottles sit exactly in the same spot for months (years), not use any of it, and continue to let his skin go to shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:46 AM
5

Chiming in because I’m also CF! It’s a whole different ballgame for us who are dating and weeding out for the HVMs who are also CF, so congrats, Sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:53 AM
6

Just bought the book after reading your review of it, and currently reading the preview while I wait for my hard copy. And, holy shit. It’s everything that we’ve been talking about, lamenting about, and more, with the peer-reviewed science to back all of it up. Thank you, and thanks to OP for this list!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:46 AM
41

“I don’t want you to be mad” is Scrote Speak for “I know I did something horribly inappropriate, but you aren’t allowed to react appropriately or with any emotion that I’m not into.” ETA: be very wary of a common psychological phenomenon called “Comparative Suffering” where you decide that, because “at least” you aren’t the girl getting pushed around and yelled at by a man, that somehow, somehow you’re with the right guy. You’re not. If you’re not completely happy, if you’re not being respected …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:23 AM
98

This gutted me. I resonate with this message so completely. Thank you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:33 PM
102

I find that these are the same dudes that don’t realize there are such visually manipulative apps like FaceTune, which puts the facets of Photoshop at our fingertips, right on our phones. Also the same guys who don’t realize that eyelids can’t be “naturally” purple and sparkly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:14 PM
184

What’s the most infuriating and equally heartbreaking to me is that study findings like these won’t be near as effective to changing the culture as the correlation to the rise in ED in men from their porn use/addiction. It’s always less about how it damages their personal relationships and far more directly “MUH PENIS.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 06:48 PM
28

Perfectly encapsulates the song, “With Myself” by Winona Oak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:45 PM
48

And the only reason they “get away” with shit like this is by making it cutesy with well-known cartoon characters. Replace Arthur here with, say, the text by itself... or perhaps a picture of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, or literally any of the male serial killers. Different vibe suddenly? That’s what they really meant all along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 01:45 PM
4

By his logic, you might as well claim The Saw movies are also fantasies then. Pretty sure Cary Elwes and cast got paid for their work, however...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 10:45 PM
22

🤢 Things like this make me lose more faith in humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:12 PM
62

Flow exploration? Doesn’t she mean just dating around? Committed Partnership = the Forever Girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:37 PM
101

She’s my hero. ETA: doesn’t 22 years seem too little a prison sentence?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:32 PM
238

So many words to just say, “MUH PENIS CONTROLS MY WHOLE LIFE.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 08:45 PM
5

💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:53 PM
4

You and me both, Sis! So proud of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:50 PM
8

“It’s sO SeXy to be completely emasculated like that!!1!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:36 PM
71

Or, “what is your favorite position?” Mine, personally, is Permanently Unmatched, sir. Goodbye! 👋🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 03:26 PM
75

Not unable, just unwilling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 03:24 PM
24

This. I hate when guys say “we’re pregnant” when referring to their wives/partners. No, she’s pregnant and growing an entire child. You simply came inside her for 5 seconds, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:25 PM
14

My thoughts exactly. The fact that she doesn’t mention all the housework and childcare (not to mention the pregnancy and labor and high potential for trauma and PPD) shows she lives in a bubble. In her perfect bubble world, this could work if the guy was also HV. But at desperately low numbers... the vast majority of men simply aren’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:24 PM
17

I agree with this addition. It’s a bit worrisome if you and him never briefly touch on past relationships, but they should never be a lingering point of conversation. Just like you’d want to know if he’s been married before, engaged before. But his response (both verbally and nonverbally) will tell you so much- whether to go forward carefully, or to cut him off altogether: does he think back wistfully on his time with her? Cut her down? Or can he admit his own fault in the failing relationship a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:10 PM
11

Seeing someone new right now and it’s all really fresh, but the man did not disappoint, sisters. Fine dining reservations made more than a week in advance, wore a nice suit to dinner, and treated me to long-stemmed red roses and a very personalized 14K gold necklace. My efforts/time finally feel reciprocated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:17 PM
13

This is legit so beautiful. I want to 3D print myself one for my desk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:12 PM
16

Thissss. And her “Deal With It” and “L8r Boi”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:10 PM
35

That DeathGrip Dick™️ is so, so real. The past few months dating has been so illuminating to me to see which men are porn addicts and have ED at 25-30 fucking years old. No excuses anymore- if he can’t keep it up, walk out. Period. He’d clearly rather continue fucking his hand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:06 PM
4

Yes, please! I’d be so into this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:51 PM
20

And here’s the thing. Having had years of gross and/or misguided attempts at “compliments” (read: negging) from LVM men, I tune them out and only listen to the ones given by my girlfriends. The feeling is entirely different when it’s a compliment from someone who’s not just trying to fuck you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:42 PM
6

I haven’t watched it yet, but it’s on my list!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:46 PM
22

I used to think I had to settle on a man just because I was attracted to him physically and he treated me nice sometimes. But now I know I can have it all: a handsome man who has his life built (and still is building), engaged in personal growth, works on his own issues (introspectively and in therapy), has a strong circle of friends who also have created great lives of their own, and is consistently and genuinely kind and thoughtful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:55 PM
11

“Pardon me intruding...” continues to intrude further
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:50 PM
134

I’m reminded of a favorite quote from a book I read by Cheryl Strayed: “just wanting to leave is enough.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:34 PM
4

I’m with you. This is the first Valentine’s Day I’ve been excited about in a very long time. My ex “wasn’t one for Valentine’s Day” so I learned never to expect anything, or if anything happened, it was strictly performative and never genuine: cheapest flowers he could find, something he bought for himself to enjoy but gave me, some lingerie that only he liked and wasn’t my style. He always thought of himself when buying me gifts. Go figure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:29 PM
180

Rape within a marriage wasn’t something I believed in until I experienced it firsthand. I never thought someone who proclaimed to love me, who vowed to protect me could do something so vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:07 PM
82

This exactly. The most alone I’ve ever felt was when I tethered myself to the wrong (read: all so far) man. It’s like your soul longs to be free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:52 PM
11

In my country, they are. We have some ordinances in place to keep patrons safe that restaurants have to abide by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 07:14 PM
15

So gorgeous and colorful! What are the blue/purple beauties? 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 07:03 PM
110

One of the guys I started talking to this week seemed really great. We have similar values, he does well for himself, he’s educated, a great conversationalist. A few days in of getting to know each other, he asks to go on a Coffee/Walk Date. I politely declined and moved on with my day. Now that I’ve been on plenty of actual dates (you know, in which both of us dress up a bit and meet for a nice meal), I can’t go back to a “date” I’d do at any point with my girlfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 06:14 PM
421

Not alone. I’ve been there before in years past. But hear this- if he’s doing any of the above: calling you needy because you want to kiss him during any intimate connection, lose him immediately. I’m talking call the session and kick him out. You deserve to reserve your body for men who will meet you on that very emotional front, and these dudes are clearly not it. They are just using your body as a fleshlight, and you deserve more, Sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:15 PM
53

Men only want women if they stay perfectly healthy, never fall sick, never gain weight, or anything normal that happens with pregnancy and childbirth. It’s fucking disgusting. So much for “in sickness and health.” 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:03 PM
35

That guys who claim to be “highly sensitive” men tend to be the most sociopathic of all. My old PickMe ass had a thing for these particular dudes and always was left wondering why they were constantly sulking, hung up on something, seemingly “weighed down”. They just want your validation and empathy. They never give a fuck about you as a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:06 PM
14

Hands down, one of the worst men I’ve ever dated was a male psychologist. There’s this major ego boost for being a “woke man” who is “aware of his emotional health.” Quite literally the most misogynistic, pornsick, mindfuck of a man I’ve ever come across. And it still makes me ill thinking he’s licensed to “treat” patients, most of them being women. Men in this field almost always have a God Complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 11:58 AM
32

That they fake compliment all the time to make themselves seem kinder than they actually are. And these fake compliments are only used to a) get out of something they’ve done or b) try to get (more) sex or c) a means to apologize. Genuine apologies are altogether rare or simply nonexistent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 11:20 AM
22

Could’ve used it to set up homeless shelters. Could’ve used it to set up an animal sanctuary. Could’ve set up scholarships for low income families. Could’ve used it to literally do anything beneficial. But instead... MUH PENIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:34 PM
35

“The father is my beloved, Chicken Parmigiana.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:22 PM
13

A great book about this exact thing: “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:44 PM
48

You had a textbook narcissist here. He put you up on a pedestal, fed you breadcrumbs to keep you in place while still having her, talking her down but never choosing you. Tried to keep you both, but instead, lost you both. Now he’s discarded you because you outed him for the selfish prick that he is. I highly recommend you read up on things like narcissistic love bombing, grooming, bread-crumbing, and discarding. This is precisely what he put you through. You can’t see it now, Sis, but you’re go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:40 PM
32

Why didn’t anyone tell me we were all jaded here?! 😱 /s ETA: How about instead of scanning posts and socials for “seeming” incel-like... you just choose to not be an incel?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:08 PM
16

Printed this out, saved the post, and I might keep it pretty much everywhere. Thank you for taking the time to write up such a comprehensive list. 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 06:21 PM
56

I would love to hear how you replied in this situation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:09 PM
94

“Somewhat consensual” is NOT consensual. What a psychopath!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 03:17 PM
8

Dude, of course his name is Larry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 04:59 AM
123

I mean, if we’re counting partners as people who have made me come... I’m still a virgin. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 04:50 AM
1

Thank you so much! I’m going to try that out when this bunch is ready. 🌹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:06 AM
2

I’d love some tips on doing that, if you’d like to share them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 03:21 PM
24

That’s my point, I suppose. We’ve normalized porn so much in today’s society to the point where even kid shows are seen as fap material. It’s revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:13 PM
102

“It’s no different than watching a movie for entertainment purposes.” Ooook, then. With that logic, go ahead and masturbate to, say, any Disney movie. Or the news. Or NatGeo... Porn isn’t entertainment and if you’re watching it so much that it becomes as such... you’re addicted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:21 PM
83

“He’s a bit crazy and scares me sometimes,” is literally all you need to know about this terrible man. And I’ll bet you anything that it’s more often than “sometimes.” ETA: my old PickMe brain would’ve been like, “awww, he’s so pRotEctiVe,” instead of the now-obvious, “he makes me wear a fucking hoodie to warn off everyone and even included a death threat on said hoodie.” 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:09 PM
21

One singular Feb. 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:28 PM
18

Loves companionship, hates any kind of punctuation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:25 PM
444

“I’m trying to see if you’re worth a dinner.” 😱 Ok, my dude. Your dick, I do declare, ain’t that great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:15 AM
15

It is, indeed. So I just look at any dude wanting to watch porn as “the creep in the bushes with binoculars.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:53 PM
16

In what real life would someone watch someone else having sex or even perform sexual acts? That’s the lingering thing behind it all, and why porn disgusts me the most. You wouldn’t head to your neighbor’s house and ask them if you could watch them and their spouse have sex... so why the hell would you want to watch that online?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:49 PM
13

And worse... when the couple breaks up someday, the dude can use it as revenge, text it to his friends, and publicly exploit the woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:45 PM
16

He reasoned (rather stupidly) that because it was “normal” couples making their own porn, it was somehow better. I stared at him... waiting for him to retract, then I bust out into laughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:52 PM
51

Ugh, the countless gym mirror pictures. If there’s even 1, I swipe left. Staying fit is attractive, but showing off to the world is the epitome of not. We don’t need to see you brushing your teeth or using the toilet, but both are also good for your health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 08:50 PM
9

I am CRYING. 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:23 PM
56

Ironically, they tend to lead us to that kind of conversation fairly easily. When you’re able to sit at a meal together and bring up the topic of what you’re both looking for in a partner, they’ll almost always bring up sexual chemistry as if it’s something successful couples rarely have. 😂 That’s your entryway. Lead in casually with how you agree- sexual compatibility is a big dealmaker/dealbreaker. And that one of yours is porn use/viewing. Then, depending on how they react, you’ll have your a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:16 PM
31

“Unless you’re a dentist, don’t pull teeth.” That line is gold! I’m sorry you were getting even less than bare minimum. In no way should a good man ever put down the things you like. He doesn’t have to love them himself, but he should never shit all over the things you love, Sis. And you’re right- he’s absolutely talking to tons of women and giving you breadcrumbs here. Match his sincerity and effort and always block and delete these kinds of guys. You’re worth getting to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:48 PM
92

The last guy I dated severely defended his porn use. That was the final straw for me leaving. I think the more you say no to the idea of being objectified, the lower your tolerance of it becomes. I now regularly bring up porn viewing in conversations I have with people that have asked me out, generally on the first date. Even if they want to continue to see me, if they watch it/defend it/deflect out of shame, I cut them off. I won’t be with another man who defends his porn use. ETA: also, justif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:34 PM
2

Oh lord, yes. I’ve gotten all of those same comments. It’s infuriating. Like, “how dare you know your own mind?” I’m looking into getting a tubal or bilateral salp myself right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:09 PM
7

I’ve been where you been. You feel so lied to when your partner/Bf/husband tells you that they actually do want kids. What’s worse is when/if they begin to challenge your stance on the topic. And then you’ll have family members or friends who just think therapy together will fix these problems- they don’t. You cannot compromise on having kids. You cannot have half a kid. It’s either you have them or you do not. And so relationship dissolution is the only solution here. I’m glad you got free, Sis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:29 PM
37

I’ve been in all 3 camps before, just like you, and hands down, being single has been the most rewarding. No man has cared for my well-being in any way like I have and can. None. And because I’m constantly increasing my standards, the less appealing dating has become. Just why put up with all of that when I could avoid it altogether and please myself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 01:22 AM
56

From personal experience, it’s all dependent on if the divorced man has done the therapy and introspection required in order to be a better man. Even if the divorce was amicable, there are absolutely things he needs to untangle in therapy. Most men, however, aren’t willing to step aside from their egos to do the work. I’d definitely approach this subset of men more warily than unmarried men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:35 AM
13

I meeean, with all of these scrotes choosing to not wash or wipe... are we even sure they should be out of diapers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:27 AM
4

I never thought of it like that. Holy shit. 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 01:48 AM
7

The thing is, I’d much rather her shoot back a nasty message and her to know the truth, than to blindly marry this dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:59 AM
9

I wonder why they choose us to become soundboards for their abuse tactics. Not their guy friends— but, probably them also. But actually taking the time to find a way to reach us only to try and pit us against the new girl. I can’t think of a worse way (or better, in this case) of telling on yourself of how you don’t want to grow up, incredulous that someone is expecting you to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:46 AM
16

I find that revenge is a pretty good initial motivator to get going with these things, but hopefully the end results (of realizing you always wanted to feel this good, look this good, be this organized and on top of your own life) will prove this is a forever thing. We all deserve to have the highest wellbeing in life, and that absolutely includes our fitness, what we eat, how we dress, and so forth. But I get it- that first initial revenge spark is so powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:23 AM
59

I like to think of it as a path, perhaps, and a spectrum. The end goal is to be so solidified in being a Queen that you never stoop again, but that kind of unlearning can take quite a long time. So the daily goal is to make each new decision from a place of Queenhood, picking yourself and your needs first, then letting the rest fall as it may.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:18 AM
7

Truly. And is there any call that more resembles a fckboy than, “hey ;)” ? Decidedly not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:13 AM
11

It’s only all too similar because we, as a society, have allowed this level of depravity and utter selfishness from the men for this long. But thankfully those of us who are here are speaking out about it and demanding change and better dating for ourselves and our sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 10:34 PM
36

Last summer, I’d say maybe June of 2020. No, but I know his and I’m pretty certain they’re “official” on FB. Going hunting... I’ll turn back with results if I can find her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 07:44 PM
5

Stronger than I was, definitely, but learning more everyday. I wish I had taken screenshots to send her. That would’ve been the ultimate best outcome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 07:29 PM
22

The more I think about it, I’m considering looking up his fiancée on FB and PMing her what he did and said. There’s no reason another of our sisters has to walk down the aisle to someone as worthless as he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 07:27 PM
20

Oooh, I love the way you think. However, I didn’t have her number, and was set on quickly flicking him off my shoulder again. But I wish I had now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 07:22 PM
1

Or even the opposite problem: unable to stay hard or come during actual intercourse. He’s so used to the white-knuckle grip he’s had on his dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:43 PM
39

Serious facts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:08 PM
45

I’m so proud of you for leaving, Sis. I can totally relate to the “manipulative haze” you spoke about here. That trauma bonding is some seriously screwed up stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:53 PM
164

Thissss. I just got out of a situationship with a dude a week ago. He had me delete my OLD apps but refused to call me his girlfriend. His reasoning? “Terms like that are juvenile.” 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:55 AM
25

Ok, this is Handbook Material, straight up. 👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:47 AM
57

Good for you! How did he react when you broke it off?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:41 AM
6

Roses are my favorite and this set is so gorgeous! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:34 AM
12

This is such critically important dating advice. Just as you wouldn’t want your date’s baggage dropped in your lap, don’t do the same to him. Save these things for your therapist. Also, on that note, run from any man who sees you as a means to take on all of his emotional labor. That is not your job. ETA: I’ve had guys use this information against me before, too, so be careful what you share.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 06:05 AM
5

I. Am. Crying. 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:03 AM
13

My therapist, a woman who is well into her 50’s, and I were discussing this very thing yesterday and she said something along the line of, “you do not have to hold out, hoping he’ll stop ogling other women, and that absolutely includes watching porn. There would be no difference if he went off to a pretty girl on the street and just started masturbating while watching her. You deserve someone whose eyes are on you only.” And I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:09 PM
3

Translation: I have another woman I’m focusing my time, energy, attention on... but I still want to keep you around in case she doesn’t like/want me. Run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:31 PM
5

I get them too, and the advice given there is total bullshit in attempt to keep women staying with the wrong man. It’s almost as if each reply starts off with sympathy then quickly devolves into ways she could change for him to want her. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 03:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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