~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Does your attractiveness-level dictate your self-worth? Or at the very least, is being "sexually desired" a main factor in dictating your happiness?I must admit that during my teenage years, I avoided men and dating altogether. I had a female exclusive friend group, we were all into nerdy shit and spend most of our time doing cosplay, playing video games, watching anime etc. I was happiest during that time. My self worth came from how my friends viewed me, my hobbies, the fun stories I was able to tell, my academic success etc. Then I went abroad for one semester in my early twenties. I lost a lot of weight, my style of clothing and makeup … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/21 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Hypocrites all around the shopdiscord verification <3 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/10/20 12:57 PM |
| 2 | BDSM grosses me out so much. To any women reading this, don't allow anyone to pressure you into doing that. It's misogynistic as hell.Don't worry, it will work. I thought I couldn't enjoy sex without pain but having deep feelings for someone and trusting them unconditionally really does the job for you. I had some difficulty relaxing though and at first it was hard for me to get into the mood without a little violence - but there is definately ways your partner can touch you roughly that is erotic but not down right abusive. Explain to him what you like and what doesn't work for you without sharing your trauma - I made that mi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 10:15 AM |
| 115 | BDSM grosses me out so much. To any women reading this, don't allow anyone to pressure you into doing that. It's misogynistic as hell.Okay, I feel like I have something to add to this conversation. Before I start off though, I do not approve of BDSM as a "lifestyle" or "community" nor do I approve of kink culture anymore. However, I was part of it for a long time and I want to tell my story from the *insider* perspective. I was the one that actively seeked out BDSM environments to find potential partners for relationships and I was the one that requested past boyfriends to participate in BDSM and kink, something they could not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 03:03 PM |
| 4 | are y’all ok?Not really but thank you for asking :c | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/20 08:26 PM |
| 8 | FDS in a nutshell. (Puuurge)I don’t get it. Where’s the joke ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/20 08:17 PM |
| 2 | Strategies to force yourself to let go and level-up?He broke up with me because he felt pressured by me. Specifically into having sex. I made a mistake by telling him my past trauma and that I was used by men for sex exclusively my whole dating life. When he didn’t want to sleep with my I would cry and feel awfully rejected. It was a really toxic mixture of him feeling guilty for sleeping with me because he thought I was just looking for approval and „doing it for him“ and him feeling guilty for not sleeping with me because then I’d feel rejected… | /r/askFDS | 15/09/20 11:08 PM |
| 2 | What are your "Then vs. Now" stories?This was wonderful and very helpful to read. I can feel myself regaining strength again and I know I’m able to pull myself out of this hole that I fell into today. You really, really helped me. Everything you said is true but sometimes the truth gets lost in the fog of emotions and sadness and pain but you helped clear it! | /r/askFDS | 12/09/20 08:53 PM |
| 1 | Why should women even bother to enter monogamous relationships with the average man anymore?That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve fallen in love with men and women multiple times before and it was intense and genuine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/20 09:04 AM |
| 7 | Why should women even bother to enter monogamous relationships with the average man anymore?Love ? People fall in love ? With people they like ? Because of their personalities? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/20 06:08 AM |
| 1 | Do women like it, when told you are mine, basically treated like you are ownedWould only like it because of trauma bonding. I have a very unhealthy attachment style because I have been dumped out of the blue in every relationship so far that deep down I feel worthless, unlovable and exchangeable. It’s a deep rooted fear of mine because it keeps happening. If a guy I was in love with would tell me “You’re mine.” I would actually be head over heels for that but only because of trauma bonding. So I would like it for all the wrong reasons and a good partner in a healthy relat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/09/20 10:46 PM |
| 8 | My ex dumped me on my birthday and we still have to live togetherPreach, I know I should’ve known better. I’ll take this as an opportunity to level up 💖 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 06:15 PM |
| 1 | He almost broke up with me after 1 month, now we’re taking a break.Update: Thank you all for your advice. I wrote this post when I was in a really dark place. All of your messages were really helpful and I am very thankful to be able to read compassionate words. I do believe we are both immature and that we both handled this situation very badly and in an unhealthy way. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t have hope. Blocking him and leaving him for good is not an option because he is actually my flatmate and we have been very good friends prior to dating. We lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/20 12:30 PM |
| 1 | He almost broke up with me after 1 month, now we’re taking a break.I also think it’s unfair that after the first time he sees something about me that he doesn’t like or doesn’t find attractive his reaction isn’t just to talk about it openly but to wait until he explodes and say a bunch of really hurtful things that play exactly into my worst fears. I believe that every relationship has moments where you learn something about your partner you don’t like and the first impulse shouldn’t be to run and break up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/20 05:56 AM |
| 9 | He almost broke up with me after 1 month, now we’re taking a break.You are 100% correct and I am in therapy but it’s a really long process. I do agree that I really need to focus on myself though, I still have too many demons | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 08:41 PM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderIt’s easy to say „they can just walk away“, but we’re talking about love here, not a business agreement. With human relationships there is usually feelings involved and as easy it would be to „walk away“, in reality it’s not so easy. Emotional immaturity makes people choose options that are not beneficial to them. Men stay with women who mistreat them and physically abuse them because of love just like women stay with men who cheat and humiliate them. It happens and just because it’s illogical i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 12:47 PM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderResources grant you more freedom and possibilities in your actions, therefore they grant you power. Experience is a resource, money is a resource, social connections are resources, degrees, emotional maturity, mental stability etc. Those are all resources that give you power. Therefore a person who is older is more resourceful and therefore more powerful. That is asymmetrical. It doesn’t mean that they are going to exploit this dynamic or that they have power over the younger person but there is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 12:38 PM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderWhat makes you think that I look at men in transactional terms ? I never said anything that would imply that ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 12:32 PM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderYouth doesn’t equal fertility. I lost my period for years because of an eating disorder that granted me my hot size 2 body that LVM men drooled over. There are SO many factors that play into fertility and you don’t suddenly start becoming less fertile once you hit your 30s. That sounds like a total bs argument from someone who doesn’t want to admit that it’s about LOOKS after all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 11:18 AM |
| 3 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderYou sound like a sociopath... high value relationships develop because people like each other, develop feelings for each other, share interests and genuinely want to spend time with one another because they value each other as individuals. It’s not a trade off like money for fertility, that is insane. Also just because you are emotionally dependant and/or still have a lot to learn about self worth and stability in love doesn’t mean that you’re a brainless, submissive idiot that shouldn’t be allo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 11:13 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderTrust me, the old fucks who pursued me were definitely not looking for a longterm relationship with me because I was more fertile than a woman their age lmaooo And who even chooses their partner because of fertility ? I’m not breeding stock. As a young woman you don’t benefit from a relationship with an older man - I simply pursued them because I was desperate for approval and validation and in the end I gained nothing but heartbreak and trauma. Waste of time. The guys got a self-esteem boost an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 11:07 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderShow me a woman in their early 20s who already has a degree in journalism and writes articles for female magazines? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 11:04 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderWith a 10+ age difference you always have an asymmetrical power dynamic that favours the older person. The rare exception that a 35 year old male happens to casually meet and befriend a 20 year old (where even?) and decides that he can see her as a healthy, long-term partner and that he can view her as an independent, adult woman even though she probably is barely legal, still developing and learning and most likely still financially and emotionally dependant - then you’d have a real exception t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 11:01 AM |
| 4 | CMV: The "Wall" for Females is when they are unable to attractive as high value men as they are used to when they get olderI think you misunderstand the meaning of High Value. HVM apply a high value to YOUR life personally. It doesn’t mean rich, powerful etc. A high value man in his 30s would never go for a girl 10 years younger than him, that’s LVM behaviour. Talking from experience as a 22 year old woman, I almost exclusively attract low value men in their 30s or 40s. Sure they might be rich, have powerful positions or are goodlooking but they actively seek out me, a 22 year old college student, because they view … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 10:37 AM |
| 2 | Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more.I used to have a very close male friend. He was my roommate and we would hang out a lot, go out on dinner dates, take trips together etc. He would help me out with my university stuff and I let him play my video games and use my TV and stuff. We were each other’s emotional support. When I balled my eyes out because a guy treated me like shit he’d listen and I’d listen to him when there was trouble with his family or his ex. It was a genuine friendship and I never suspected that he might want mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/20 06:34 AM |
| 13 | "What was attractive at 18 isn't at 30" is true for women in large part because they're not as hot at 30 as they were at 18I don’t know what you guys do to your bodies in your 20s but if you’re hot at 22 you’re going to be hot at 30. Attractiveness doesn’t fade unless you fuck yourself up with a bad lifestyle. All of my girlfriends in their late 20s or early 30s are smoking hot and didn’t change much from when they were 22. Don’t smoke, don’t drink too much alcohol, stay healthy... Ageing doesn’t make you ugly. Any guy who prefers an 18 year old over an 30 year old purely because of age is an idiot because I looked … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/20 05:46 PM |
| 2 | TRP & FDS dating strategies only work a specific demographic of individuals.But that mindset doesn’t reflect everyone. I used to be a major pick-me and part of me still is, so if I loved someone I wanted to do EVERYTHING for them. I try not to be as extreme anymore but I still want to please my partner if I love them. And men who love are the same. My boyfriend doesn’t pay for our dates because he’s afraid that I’ll leave him if he stops, it’s because he wants to make me happy and treat me. For the same reason I do things that make him happy. It’s about really liking th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/20 08:09 AM |
| 11 | TRP & FDS dating strategies only work a specific demographic of individuals.I‘d say for me personally FDS helped a lot. It’s not about following each rule exactly as it is written, it is more about a mindset change. You start looking for different things in men. You start seeing and appreciating different things. After I discovered FDS I got in a relationship with a guy and I definitely did not follow all of FDS rules with him. But I developed feelings for him because I could see that he truly cared about me as a person, liked spending time with me, wanted to have conve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/20 08:05 AM |
| 2 | How to get rid of the fear of being dumped spontaneously?Thank you for your sweet answer. I’m super thankful for the other answers as well, they are right by saying I can’t control someone’s actions. But you’re right, I am still not at the point where I can confidentially say „being broken up with out of nowhere would have no emotional effect on me“. I just really want this to work and not sabotage myself. I think what you’re saying is true, that I am projecting too much of my past relationships onto this guy. I’ve come to believe that all men are the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 06:26 AM |
| 5 | How to get rid of the fear of being dumped spontaneously?Tips on how to start with that ? Thank you ! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 02:19 PM |
| 9 | I need some help standing up for myself.Update: I decided not to reach out to him and it was the right decision. My roommate (who is his friend) talked to him because he was unwilling to continue the friendship after he behaved the way he did. Apparently during the conversation he did not show any sign of human emotion or remorse and admitted that he took advantage of the fact that I was vulnerable and had a past with abuse. He apologised to my roommate as if he had accidentally kicked his puppy and now offered to symbolically apologi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 10:26 PM |
| 2 | I need some help standing up for myself.This is really interesting but the idea of writing a letter from him sounds overwhelming. I like the idea though, would you recommend doing this when the pain is still fresh or once I’ve taken some time to heal ? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 05:35 PM |
| 19 | I need some help standing up for myself.That was my immediate reaction too. However I wouldn’t let him reply or apologise, just drop the bomb and leave, at leasts that’s what my friends suggested. Maybe I’ll just write a letter without ever sending it for myself. Thank you for your advice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 03:06 PM |
| 3 | I‘m afraid my hatred will keep me from forming meaningful relationships with menI have three male friends who are gay but I don’t have any straight male friends. I love those three friends but I can still feel the disconnect and while they don’t feel as „foreign“ to me as straight males I‘d have a hard time offering them emotional support if they were feeling down the same way I’d offer my female friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/20 01:37 AM |
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