TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

snackysnackeeesnacki Archive

View 8 posts and 123 comments by snackysnackeeesnacki on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

I just learned this the hard way. We have a 4-week-old baby and I’ve been doing the majority of the work, including absolutely grueling nights. He can’t help breastfeed (obviously) and has no baby experience so just saying I need “help” has been basically useless because he quickly doesn’t know what to do and dumps the baby on me again. Finally, upon advice of some women in my “bump group”, I told him exactly what I need. “I need to sleep for 4-5 hours straight tonight. After I nurse him and put…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/19 01:05 AM
1

I asked for clarification a number of times and was told pretty definitively that I don’t meet the criteria for actual BPD. Apparently one of the more central features is volatility in personal relationships and in school/jobs, neither of which apply to me. Nonetheless I still did a year of DBT which did me immeasurable good.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 04:44 AM
3

The key thing with any mental illness is to take responsibility for it, which seems to be the path you are getting on. I’ve suffered from depression, anxiety, etc over the years. Was hospitalized a few years ago and they said I had “BPD traits”, though not an outright personality disorder. I don’t hav volatility in personal relationships or jobs, but the way I experience emotions is textbook BPD. They suggested DBT which I did for a year and has been amazing in giving me coping skills. It’s more…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 12:12 PM
4

Same, luckily for me minus the baby so I got to have a clean break when we split. Like another commenter said, I was young when we married and I think that part of his personality felt like decisiveness and leadership to me which I was attracted to. But it gets so overwhelming being around somebody all the time like that. And his anger and controlling got worse over the years. Now I’m married to a man who is patient and kind with me and it allows ME to blossom and be more independent in my own l…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/19 10:52 AM
20

There’s a lot to unpack here, and I don’t want to minimize the rest of it but I feel compelled to say: He hurt you physically. That is NOT okay. And then you hid your crying so you wouldn’t look bad? Not okay. I honestly breathed a little sigh of relief for you when I read you aren’t legally married. He sounds angry and vindictive.
/r/RedPillWives31/07/19 06:17 PM
2

I mentioned the dryness to the OB at my regular appointment and she did an exam and didn’t see anything unusual herself, but swabbed and it came back positive for BV.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/19 01:46 AM
2

I went to my doc when this happened, turned out I had BV. Which was crazy because I thought BV made you stinky or had extra discharge, but apparently it was just messing with my ecosystem enough to make it hard to lubricate. Once it was treated I went back to normal. But... yes I’ve also noticed a gradual decrease in wetness since turning 30. We typically use lube and my husband doesn’t take it personally. He has to take ED meds sometimes himself so he just jokes that we are both broken!
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/19 06:32 PM
70

If anything, this would be a yellow flag - not red. I think it’s more likely just you reacting to things from past relationships. If you didn’t feel comfortable paying, you shouldn’t have offered. Honestly sounds like he just used it as a segue to make future plans which isn’t a bad thing if that’s what you want. Quality guys aren’t necessarily trying to “provide” on a first date anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/19 04:18 PM
15

My first baby was stillborn last year, I’m now expecting my second in September. This loss is very real and what you are feeling is very real and valid. It’s also very common for the people around the mother (including the father) to not have the same feelings and to have difficulty truly empathizing. It’s such an intensely personal experience to go through. Your husband feels helpless because he couldn’t do anything to prevent this and he can’t do anything to take away your pain now. Since you’…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 12:41 AM
7

It’s not quite as simple as them firing me to avoid maternity leave, I’m afraid. My manager had me “wind down” a lot of my duties to pass off to my replacement “in case I have to leave early”. Then they announced layoffs - they are cutting like 5-10% of the workforce and I’m an obvious choice since nothing I’m working on is mission-critical. Also I’ll get like 4+ months severance plus health coverage through September, as opposed to if I fight them and then have no income and no health coverage …
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 02:23 PM
28

It’s fairly common to be ambivalent about kids at your age. The fact that you feel the way you do about missing a child to care for tells me you will very likely want kids as you get older.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 02:19 PM
3

I’m in recovery myself, and my fiancé is also in recovery. He has struggled more than I with staying sober the past few years, especially after we lost our first baby, and I have learned some valuable things during this time: I have to accept him as he is if I’m going to be with him. This does not mean accepting poor treatment, irresponsibility, or him bringing any kind of chaos into our lives. It means what I see is what I get - it doesn’t matter how much potential there is underneath, who he i…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 11:09 AM
5

They are implying that no man will be willing to wait til marriage unless they have a hormonal imbalance causing a low sex drive.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/19 04:21 PM
2

This is going to sound convoluted, but you are mixing up your feelings with your thoughts. Your feelings are not unreasonable - for a number of reasons, you are not feeling desirable to him right now and that is totally valid considering you guys are struggling in this area. But your feelings are getting mixed up in judgment of him and his feelings, which are equally valid. You just need to find common ground, and try to let the other stuff go as much as possible. A book that really helped me wi…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 03:08 PM
16

There are several things going on here. I was going to ask you what the context of his comments yesterday were, but as I kept reading I see he has a history of making these statements unprompted. He’s being disrespectful, yes. I don’t think it’s akin to thought-crime because he’s bringing you into it by speaking to you about it. But this may be the only way he knows how to share these feelings with you. It seems your attitudes about sex are somewhat misaligned. Your comments about threesomes and…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 12:20 PM
3

Congratulations! And I love the five love languages, I’ve found it super useful.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 01:07 PM
21

This again? I can’t help but think this is a troll now. Nobody here is going to tell you to bleach your skin or do other fake stuff (like the colored contacts from last week). RPW is not about achieving some narrow specific beauty ideal. It’s about taking care of yourself physically AND mentally so you are the best possible YOU and can find the best possible partner. If you aren’t a troll: Wear sunscreen to protect your skin and avoid wrinkles. Don’t date anybody who thinks you need to be “white…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 02:54 PM
2

Is this what you think is ideal? Because this is what your kids are seeing. You have the right idea to want to fix this, because you want your kids to be able to go off into the world and have healthy emotional expression with their partners. My SO has an immediate softening to my crying. Because of that, my feelings are immediately validated - but at a price. Because if we are arguing or something and I start crying the conversation immediately halts because he feels bad. So, I do my best to co…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 10:02 AM
19

This is a bad situation. You shouldn’t fuck her at all.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/19 12:20 AM
1

Obvious troll is obvious
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/19 02:44 AM
10

I think this is highly individual and will change according to different people’s talents, interests, and time.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 12:58 AM
15

It’s a yellow flag more than a red one. A reason to look deeper. My ex husbands parents were married and in love until the day his mother died. But his dad was an abusive narcissist whose children feared him. My ex was heading that direction too. My fiancé’s parents divorced when he was ten, and it sounds like they had an ugly toxic marriage as well. But his mom and dad both remarried and had much more stable marriages with their second spouses. So I feel like in his case he at least got to witn…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/19 04:41 PM
1

I know you said this isn’t the case, but just wanted to add: A secure man would understand a certain amount of mood swings in the short term, and would absolutely understand a certain amount of being “neglected” (I assume you mean housework, cooking, maybe sexual). It is simply part of the territory of pregnancy, especially early pregnancy. I thought the same way you did and was reassured here on RPW from both men and women that it is a normal part of pregnancy which should be accepted by a matu…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 02:53 AM
1

So obviously he was toxic, but I do think you were a contributing force. You didn’t make him a liar or make him engage in those behaviors, but you stayed in this relationship well past the reasonable point. I have dated a liar, and they make you feel crazy, and act crazy - but when that happens, youre still acting crazy. If you’re at a point where they are being so sketchy that it makes you behave in controlling ways or lay down ultimatums, that is not a relationship where you are able to be you…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 04:18 PM
1

Being feminine is important to me because it brings out my partners masculine qualities, and I LOVE his masculine qualities. No, I don’t plan to be a stay at home mom, though I will take about five months off work when my little one arrives in September. If we were rich I probably would, but I’m happy working too.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/19 10:24 PM
4

This can be mitigated with gratitude and appreciation. Every time you start to feel guilty about spending when you know hes okay with it, thank him. Buy a swing or cute outfit for the baby? Text him a picture and say “baby says thank you daddy for the new digs!”
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 05:47 PM
5

What is it about an allowance that rubs him the wrong way? I think it could be a fairly simple solution to your anxieties. Does he not like the idea that he is dictating your spending?
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 11:40 PM
13

He wants to work it out because staying together gives him the appearance of being a respectable adult, whereas going to live with his parents forces him to show the world that he is not. Can your marriage be saved? I have seen worse situations turn around. But it sounds like the best thing for the time being is to separate. That will give him time to confront his demons and decide if he wants to change things. And it will give YOU time for self-examination and self-care, to decide what contribu…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 01:44 PM
2

I’d love to hear more about your plans. Are you going to have a separate phone line? Malpractice insurance? Where do you plan to meet with clients?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 03:29 PM
13

Haha! Most important advice on here.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 09:56 AM
16

I somewhat disagree with this. Women have always worked. The “SAHM” as we think of it is a relatively new phenomenon, 20th century. Before that, it was only wealthy women who had no choice but to stay home - most women had no choice but to work, in some capacity. In the distant past, when we were more agrarian, women worked alongside their men (and children) on farms and family businesses. During the industrial revolution and after, women worked as seamstresses, nannies, bakers, cooks. My great …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 09:55 AM
4

ISFP-T. This is really interesting because every test I’ve ever taken in my life has called me an extrovert, and this just confirms a lot of the changes I feel I’ve gone through in the past few years, I don’t know if it’s getting older or going through really trying times, but I just don’t get anything out of a super active social life the way I used to. I still love spending time with friends and family, but I don’t really like parties and I always need to decompress after being super social. E…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 11:45 AM
41

It sounds like, sex aside, you don’t feel like their friendship is genuine and don’t feel you are treated in a respectful way. Always a valid reason to withdraw from or downsize a friendship. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends with somebody you have feelings for, I certainly wouldn’t. Why put yourself through that?
/r/ExRedPill29/03/19 12:17 PM
9

I think it’s really really case by case. I first found RPW when I WAS in an abusive toxic relationship, and my therapist really helped me realize that and get out of it. Obviously I was a little hesitant at sharing some stuff about my current relationship. But you know what? She’s really supportive. She helps me make my own decisions. One of the main tenets here is self care, and for a lot of people (myself included, and sounds like you as well), that may involve professional help at some point.…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/19 11:33 AM
11

“I didn’t kill my wife! Ooh... who’s that guy? I bet he DID kill his wife.” John Mulaney is gold.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/19 11:12 AM
3

Yes, and the examples are few and far between. The only one she mentioned with any detail is her poor driving, but even that is a little hard to picture what she’s talking about.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/19 10:15 PM
5

This whole comment is exactly my feelings on it, and I totally use the same techniques right now (pregnant, hormonal) on asking for help. It’s my way of practicing trust even when I don’t feel trust, because my anxiety can be a black hole where trust goes to die even when he hasn’t done anything to cause it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/19 08:56 PM
3

I agree with this. I feel such relief putting things in his hands.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/19 06:14 PM
10

I feel like there are some control dynamics under the surface of what you’re describing. Tbh it hits me a little weird that he’s literally testing you. On what subjects are you disagreeing over? There is a difference between submitting because you trust him and his leadership, and submitting because he requires it. Has he done something to lose your respect or trust? If that’s not the case, and this is truly a “you” problem, I have found it helpful to have multiple ways to process my thoughts an…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/19 06:12 PM
–

Tonight? Spaghetti and meatballs, with cucumber salad on the side. The rest of the week? Depends on if I have the energy to get out of bed! (14 wks pregnant and still getting my butt kicked by morning sickness).
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/19 08:01 PM
1

Well, that’s what this sub is basically about, so...
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/19 02:36 PM
3

My five year old nephew gets exactly like this. My sister, who is about 120 pounds, will lay on top of him and let him struggle until he tires himself out. He loves it, and she can position him in such a way where she doesn’t get any elbows or anything. Sometimes she’ll tickle him a little too and that really gets the wiggles out. He is always so relaxed after they do this for a little while. It’s like he just needs that rough physical stimulation.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:20 PM
3

OP, this is the best advice. Even if he doesn’t like to “take charge”, as you say, you are still his partner and you are asking him for help. Tell him you’d like him to come up with a solution. Then give his solution a real try.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 11:48 AM
49

He is immature, disrespectful, and likely unfaithful. This is not behavior you need to or should put up with.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/19 11:13 AM
1

That’s a great plan!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 05:58 PM
2

Thank you, this is very reassuring. I do think I’m going to ask my mom and sister to take turns staying with us the first week or two (they live about an hour and a half away) because with nursing and everything I’m probably going to need some handholding myself. And yes, he can handle it and will support me. I just need to respect him, not protect him.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 05:58 PM
1

Thank you, this was very reassuring.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 05:55 PM
3

I talked to him today and said I thought it would be fun to take a new baby class and he agreed, we had previously decided not to do a class (we have done pregnancy/labor/birth before so don’t feel like we need a class on that, but we didn’t have a live birth so the baby stuff is still new). Turns out our hospital has a stand-alone “baby’s first weeks” class with an optional infant cpr class. So we will do that!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 05:55 PM
3

I dislike it too! It’s just that things can be a little more “technical” than I think he imagines them to be. Honestly we lost our first baby just before birth so he respects my need to be ultra safe even just from an emotional perspective. The important things are car seat and safe sleep, so I’ll just make sure we are on the same page with those things and I’m sure it’ll be fine. Getting out of the way of them developing their relationship is more important than doing things “right”.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/19 05:52 PM
–

I am STRUGGLING. 12 weeks pregnant now and drowning in hormones. It’s like every bad instinct I have, every hamster twitch, is on overdrive. The other day I was feeling neglected by my SO, and resentful of some stuff that has been going on, and normally I would 1) do some journaling, 2) talk it out with therapist or friend, and 3) THEN bring the issue to him if I still feel like there is something to address. I’ve been skipping all those parts and just telling him whatever comes into my head. I’…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:50 PM
16

In addition to what others have suggested, I would like to remind you that in three weeks you will be back together physically. There is SO much that can’t be communicated and expressed long distance. My partner doesn’t hide money stuff from me, but I can tell you that if I asked to examine our financials he would probably take it personally. And he should, because in that situation I’m saying I don’t trust his management of our money. As for the calling/texting... that would bug me too. But not…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 05:24 PM
22

You’re going to have to discuss your struggles with him. And then let him make a decision and follow that. Maybe he will want to hire somebody to help with housework, maybe he will want to step up more himself, or maybe he will just tell you to relax your standards a bit. Pregnancy is challenging. Tell him what you’re struggling with and let him help you by deciding a course of action.
/r/RedPillWives14/03/19 03:49 PM
19

Same, my SO would probably roll his eyes at a lot of what is written here and in TRP. But he loves it when I defer to him, ask for and take his advice, and rely on him. He appreciates my cooking, homemaking, is improving his career right now so I can be a SAHM if I want when our little one gets here. But he thinks I’m “naturally” like this, he doesn’t know I’ve had to work hard and learn to cultivate this mindset. And he would think a lot of the advice is just very odd and, I don’t know, Machiav…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 04:18 PM
2

Damn this is some good insight.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/19 11:49 AM
30

He is very young, it is not surprising at all that he is uninterested in making long term plans at this moment - especially because 5 months is still fairly new. But you have the right idea with not moving in unless you are engaged/solidly on the road to marriage (like, real timeline). These two things are not incompatible! It’s ok to not move in, don’t allow yourself to be pressured by him. Because YOU know that it’s best for you to have that boundary.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/19 03:21 AM
2

I would start with, during a calm moment when it’s just the two of you, “I love you so much and I really miss having sex with you.” and then let him think it over without having to discuss it right away or give you some kind of answer.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 07:54 PM
22

He loves how capable I am. I’m a lawyer so handling insurance stuff, etc is a breeze for me and keeps it off his plate. He loves that I’m a thinker and that I read and love puzzles and I’m always trying to learn new things.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 11:24 AM
15

One thing to add, especially for those who have struggled with weight their entire lives, is that seeking outside help and support can be essential in helping build and maintain habits. I used to have an eating disorder and I still struggle with disordered eating at times. Therapy was huge in helping me make changes in the way I use food and the way I view food. I still have a ways to go and now I’m pregnant which has a whole other set of eating challenges, but I used to feel completely powerles…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 03:52 PM
9

One of the other things that has changed my perspective on such things is the idea of autonomy/authority. (I’m probably going to butcher the concept, I read it on here). If something is under your authority/on your plate then you have autonomy over how and when to do it. When it comes to household responsibilities, we both work so everything is under both of our authority... but we also both have autonomy in how it is performed. If I have stricter housekeeping standards then I might have to step…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/19 10:27 AM
1

I’d ask what you mean by “they” and “them” but I’m pretty sure I already know. 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 09:47 PM
7

I believe it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 09:41 PM
8

Your life is not private from work if your social media is active and public. Time to lock it down. As for the current situation, I would just tell her you’re keeping it small, mostly family, and in order to do that you aren’t inviting any work people. Thank her for being so thoughtful to want to help you but that your mother/sister/whoever will be helping you with wedding planning. This only works if you really aren’t inviting work people (as opposed to just her)
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 11:55 AM
34

I have two experiences with this - one good, one bad. When you’re young is so easy to ignore the ways older guys DONT have it together because you are comparing him to boys your age. For example, my ex made a lot of money so I didn’t really pay attention to how terrible he was with it (massive debt, crazy spending). My advice: Let your family (especially parents and older relatives) and any other older friends you have give you feedback! They know what it looks like when an older person doesn’t …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 01:44 PM
7

TBH it would be same for me. But my feelings about the president go deeper than specific political positions.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 01:16 PM
19

Also, your first point is SO true and hits close to home for me. My partner has always been on the ball and even now mostly takes care of his responsibilities. However he has struggled with depression and other health issues the last 8 months after we had a serious loss. We have gotten to a place recently where he has even missed work due to staying in bed and sleeping. His memory is off/he has mental fog so he has let some things slide at home as well. I read something on here awhile back where…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 04:27 AM
18

Another thing I think is overemphasized is agreeing on politics. That used to be one of my top considerations in a partner. With my SO now I see how important it is to share the same values... but that won’t always translate to the same political stances.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 04:15 AM
22

This is just a small thing, but last night I went out and when I got home he had turned the front porch light. He was already in bed when I left so he must have gotten up just to go check and see if the light was on. :). He’s always thinking about my safety and comfort.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 02:42 AM
21

I can think of some other things that might be playing on her self confidence besides her aging. Like a boyfriend who posts other girls on his social media and is hesitant to do so with her. Just break up with her.
/r/RedPillWives22/01/19 07:38 PM
6

Oof, she likes it so far, I hope I didn’t screw up.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 09:59 PM
2

I recommend reading the wiki. The TRP and RPW communities themselves are very different. What links them is their core beliefs on the nature of men and women and relationship dynamics. But we have different goals and therefore different strategies. Most of us don’t date/marry guys who are explicitly red-pill because many of them are typically looking for different things than we are. I am not thrilled by a lot of the ideas, but I believe them to be true so it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. …
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 03:12 PM
2

Just got this one for my mom for Christmas: https://www.williams-sonoma.com/shop/cookware/cookware-event/?cm_re=aboveherobanner-_-default-_-global_cookware_event It doubles as a punch bowl!
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 02:58 PM
4

Yes! Thanks
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 12:58 PM
3

I’m on mobile and couldnt figure it out. It’s the top post there right now, maybe somebody else could link it if they are able?
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/19 12:51 PM
7

Yes, first thing when he woke up!
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/19 08:37 PM
13

Honestly, if I brought it up at all it would be in the context of sharing what I’m learning and how it’s applying to my life. I would NOT make any explicit correlations with her marriage, make suggestions, or even specifically recommend it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 04:19 AM
3

What is the full text of number eight and nine on the wife card?
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 08:06 PM
2

We split housework pretty equally for the most part, but nothing official. I do most of the cooking (and thus grocery shopping) and laundry, but I work from home. He does more dishes because I hate them and because I cook. He does yard work. When our first baby gets here we i have five months of maternity leave. I honestly doubt our division of labor will change much because taking care of a baby is a full time job itself. But if I was a housewife with no kids I would expect that I do most or al…
/r/RedPillWives22/12/18 08:12 PM
3

The article you linked to did not find any risk associated with same sex parents specifically. Rather, it concluded that children not raised by two biological parents are 2x as likely to develop emotional problems. Your article groups together same sex couples with opposite sex adopted parents, single parents, and step parents. Your article simply chose to point out that same sex couples by definition are not joint biological parents. Here is a comprehensive longitudinal study performed by the U…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 11:22 AM
9

We can’t extrapolate those statistics to two-parent same sex households. I tracked down a couple of the sources and they are referring to single-parent homes. Obviously you will still feel that way and you are entitled to, but just FYI this set of numbers does not support your position.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 11:45 AM
1

No diagnosis at all actually. They said he has the beginning of arthritis in his knees and one of them they think has a torn meniscus but no idea what’s causing the other stuff. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 11:14 AM
1

Noise cancelling headphones with a white noise track. Worked for me until he got his cpap.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 02:27 AM
7

r/lostredditors
/r/RedPillParenting06/12/18 02:18 AM
2

Oof, and those are quarantined now, right? My bad.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 06:16 PM
3

Read the sidebar.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 06:14 PM
24

I had the same experience with BC. Never again. I didn’t even recognize myself. I used a cervical cap before we started trying to conceive (not the greatest effectiveness but we were ok with risking it at the time).
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 03:31 AM
37

It’s too far when he sees it as anything other than a favor being done for him. His attitude is all wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 11:40 PM
3

Or he should act like an adult and tell her what she did wrong instead of giving her the silent treatment.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/18 08:55 PM
4

She taught me how to cook. She worked part time throughout our childhood which I know was a sacrifice for her, because she really did love her career. She put my sister and dad and I first. She is sweet and loving. She read to me every day.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 02:19 AM
14

Yeah, I’m sensing a LOT of fear in both of his conditions. He’s in for the shock of his life when he finds out how little power you have when it comes to pregnancy and parenthood. I also don’t think he has thought through the zero control he will have over a surrogates behavior and choices while carrying his child.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 12:47 PM
7

So you’re replacing his mother? He can’t do his own chores? If I was only at my boyfriends house a couple hours a day I wouldn’t be doing any chores other than picking up after myself.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 05:17 PM
7

Obviously this relationship isn’t right for you, but it’s normal for a guy to not want children when he’s 22. In addition to everything else, maybe you need to find somebody older if you’re approaching the point where you’re ready.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 11:36 AM
16

So I actually discovered RPW in what turned out to be the final days of my marriage to my (now ex-) husband. I was desperate to fix our marriage and nothing I tried had worked. I begin implementing a lot of what I had learned and things improved for a bit. Then they got even worse. He was running out of reasons to be angry at me, to yell at me, to blame me for things going wrong. Rather than his verbal abuse resulting from a ramped up argument between us, it began to come out of what felt like n…
/r/RedPillWives08/11/18 06:44 PM
4

I started this a little over a month ago. He has no idea that this came from anywhere other than my own head (he doesn’t know I read the Surrendered Wife or have been reading RPW). I have been managing my finances (very strictly) since I was 18 years old. I asked for advice on here and got a lot of great feedback. I ended up putting everything in a spreadsheet, collecting our most recent bills, and putting it all in a binder for him. Every two weeks I tell him how much I need for my budget and h…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 04:14 PM
6

If things don’t feel right now, they probably won’t.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/18 12:54 PM
–

Oh I wish acupuncture was covered by my insurance. It’s $75 where I live and I just can’t justify doing it :(
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/18 12:13 AM
2

I’m actually more passive with a lot of other people than I am with my boyfriend, because I too struggle with anything that feels like conflict. I feel safe with my boyfriend which means I trust him to make good decisions but it also means I can share my feelings and desires. I don’t have to fear rejection from him for being vulnerable and he doesn’t feel challenged because he knows that I have complete faith in him.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/18 11:20 AM
6

My favorite cleaning trick is to set an alarm for five minutes, and clean like crazy but allow myself to stop after the five minutes if I want. More often than not I get in the zone and keep going until it’s clean.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/18 11:03 AM
5

just wanted to say that I feel like my goal isn’t “housekeeping” so much as it’s “homemaking”. A clean house is an important part of making a home, sure, but I try to balance it with cooking several nights a week, making sure the dog is walked so he is chilled out, self care so I’m pleasant to come home to and at peace with myself. I don’t do any big projects during the week except dishes and laundry as needed and basic tidying. My boyfriend does dishes on the nights I cook. I save vacuuming, du…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/18 10:17 AM
8

Housekeeper is a great idea to help alleviate stress for such a busy schedule. No reason to be a martyr. I clean while listening to music or a book on tape, that makes it more relaxing and productive.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/18 01:54 AM
2

Sitting on it really helps. If I’ve journaled or talked it over with a girlfriend/my sister/my mom and the next day I’m still bothered then it may be something I need to address - at that point next step is figure out a good way to express myself.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/18 01:46 AM
13

The only way I know out of this dynamic is to focus on self care. Make sure you are giving time to your friendships with other women, your family, other responsibilities like job or school, exercise, hobbies, other interests. If you are seeking balance in your life you will naturally stop over focusing on him.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 11:14 AM
1

When he came home tonight he had brought in the mail and said “which of these are bills?” And I said “I’m not sure”. He opened them all and put them in piles and had a ton of questions. I tried my best to not over-inform. He also had a couple comments like “we are paying that much for internet?” And I said “we have been, though I haven’t looked into other options recently” and he said “I’ll call around, I’m sure we can get a better deal than that”. I thanked him for handling all of this and told…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 02:17 AM
8

I disagree. I wasn’t trying to define her experience for her, especially because she has described it somewhat differently in her post and her comments. In some places, she seems to be seeking validation to stop seeing this guy. Many in this thread, including myself, believe that this would be a big enough deal in the early stages of dating to stop dating him. In other comments, however, she expresses more embarrassment for her own choices rather than a feeling of violation, and that is totally …
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 01:39 AM
2

Please don’t feel dumb. You had your guard down and now you know better, so you can do better in the future. His behavior was gross and you don’t have to be okay with it. You don’t have to “get over it” or swallow it, and it is a good enough reason to end the relationship. If you want to continue with him, if you think he has potential, then move forward with that in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 09:26 PM
1

That is such a great interpretation of these terms, thanks for sharing. I read your comment to my boyfriend and he said “spot on”.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 09:22 PM
2

The house is being sold in the next 4 to 5 months. We are looking for a new place which we will own as joint tenants. Our state does not require incorporation but he has a separate business account. We are not on the same health insurance policy. If things do “go south”, I would rather get sued for partial equity in the house than have to give up half the equity of the house + half of my retirement and stock options, which would be the case if we married. I also disagree that i will “likely” be …
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 08:37 PM
3

Have you read the surrendered wife? The way she suggests doing it is not at all how I would have done it intuitively. She advocates basically telling him you can’t do it anymore and you think he would do it better. She recommends not saying you “don’t want to do it” or asking for his permission. I honestly thought I was lying when I told him that but the truth is I DO stress out about it, I just think of the stress as inevitable. And I feel like I’m more organized too and better with money also.…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 05:26 PM
2

In our case (though we aren’t unique) marriage has its own set of financial risks. Plus, I used to be a family law attorney (got out of that into contracts work, thank goodness - what an emotional drain!) and it just doesn’t feel like marriage offers that many practical benefits that you can’t get with a little planning. We may change our minds, but for now this is what we want. I appreciate you pointing it out though, always worth remembering. I like your idea, write down the recurring bills wi…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 05:21 PM
24

Personally I’d see this as a major red flag. I get that there was gray area here, but he didn’t respect boundaries that you put up. I would probably have my guard up around this guy and have difficulty continuing the relationship. But that’s just based on the context I have from your post and from my personal view. I also was raped when I was a teenager so sexual boundaries, especially outside of a committed LTR, are a big deal to me. Other than that, I agree with what everybody else said.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/18 02:54 PM
9

He is tough and quiet, works hard, and has goals. He is also SO sweet, he is affectionate, loves animals and children, and is a gentle presence. He is getting better at telling me things he wants me to do and stepping up in decision making rather than leaving it to me. The other day he said when he’s driving home he gets a warm feeling knowing I will be there with a smile and the house is such a safe place for him. He always makes sure to notice and appreciate things I do! His work has been diff…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/18 11:24 AM
5

Girl I cried too, that brontosaurus on the pier killed me.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/18 11:08 AM
12

You said what I was going to say, but more eloquently. It honestly doesn’t sound like cheating to me either - seems like he proactively got himself out of the relationship before that point. The thing that stuck out to me is why would he tell you he sometimes regrets the decision? What is he trying to say there? Generally I’d say get it off your chest with a girlfriend you trust, journal, etc, and resist the urge to bring this to him.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/18 11:20 AM
3

I do a similar thing! Always helps me clear away negative emotions around that person.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 11:24 AM
12

I love Jim gaffigan! He is hilarious and very clean comedy (I like not-clean comedy too but he’s my favorite).
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/18 01:01 PM
9

I never thought about wrapping around the topcoat. That is genius.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/18 03:47 PM
22

Journaling has helped me quite a bit. I write down anything I’m tempted to say. If I think it’s still worth bringing up, I rewrite it in a way that communicates effectively and empathetically. Then I wait until the next day. 90% of the time I end up dropping it. And I have had to journal on the subject less and less because I’ve developed more of an instinct to just drop it from the get go. You spent your whole life building these habits, you won’t break them in a day.
/r/RedPillWives04/10/18 02:45 AM
1

I’m blue da ba dee da ba da
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 01:05 PM
–

Lose five pounds Stay off TTC apps/communities to reduce stress 10,000 steps/day Keep journaling at least every other day.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/18 12:59 PM
3

I’m not the OP but have had a similar issue - can you explain your first bullet point further in this context?
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/18 08:24 PM
2

Once I got really big the only thing that was comfortable was yoga pants and t shirts or tanks with hoodies. I just couldn’t do anything else. Sometimes I would wear a dress but always felt disgusting and I needed to wear leggings underneath anyway so my legs didn’t rub together. I just made sure my hygiene was right, hair looked nice, etc. my boyfriend even helped me shave my legs at the end which was so embarrassing but he sort of loved my helplessness. The thing is, there is nothing more femi…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/18 11:52 AM
1

I get five months of maternity leave, and our plan is for my partner to take time off for a few months after that so we can avoid having little ones in daycare until they are at least a year. We should be able to swing him doing part time since I work from home. He is self employed so there is a lot of flexibility. It best meets our financial goals to be able to have me working (I make more than him) and he is so excited to have some time to really focus on bonding with his babies. Since I work …
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/18 11:43 AM
3

What do you do currently? The good thing is in this market it’s easier and easier to find something where you work remotely. I work from home full time. I love being able to do laundry, tidy up, prep dinner, etc on breaks during the day. We will be able to swing part time daycare even with both of us working full time and still have evenings as a family. My partner is an electrician too, and self employed at that. So it provides a lot of security to KNOW we have my paycheck coming in even if tim…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/18 02:06 PM
8

Thanks for your honesty. I have been seeing a therapist ever since our son died. We have started exploring the issue of my ex and current relationship which is what has brought the marriage issue back into my head and question whether it’s normal to feel this way.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/18 03:21 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter