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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

so_crat_ic/r/askFDS08/05/21 05:27 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

look down, look back up. look down. blush. then look away. lol. there has to be a playbook somewhere for demure flirtation.
/r/askFDS04/07/21 09:27 PM
4

my ex's new girlfriend contacted me. and she really needed the re-assurance that she's not crazy after what he pulls. and I feel her situation so hard. it was a good bonding experience, I think we will make great friends. I would say don't expect much, but feel free to send her a "hello" if it will help.
/r/askFDS23/06/21 10:36 PM
10

I see it as a personal weakness. when a man can't help himself but criticize women. there's a guy in our group, and he hates women SO MUCH. and he will come up with the most degrading awful news story. that puts women at a disadvantage. this happened yesterday and I just think. how small he must feel. to tear down a whole gender, just for being different. looking back on my relationships with men. they are always pulling shit. to feel superior. because subconsciously they don't. sports guys want…
/r/askFDS23/06/21 05:30 PM
17

All you have to do is not show him extra attention. Treat him like a brother or relative.
/r/askFDS22/06/21 07:20 PM
7

Blushing likely cannot be stopped. but no matter how much you like someone, try pretending they are someone else. Someone you would NEVER ever touch. Try pretending you saw them do something horrible, so you dont have a fawn response. So many times I do this and the guy starts getting feelings for me instead because. The reason they rejected you in the first place was because you were showing them attention. So stop.
/r/askFDS18/06/21 04:13 PM
8

you are not that person anymore. you weren't given the tools to avoid it. not your fault. the fact that you put a stop to it, means you did the right thing. and that's all that matters. I went through something similar, and honestly it took at least 10 years to not think about it anymore. but you can't rush healing. it just happens. I'm sorry, but from now on, you are in charge of your own boundaries. and it will be easier to detect unhealthy ones.
/r/askFDS10/06/21 08:45 PM
8

I dont know. If I were you Id probably do something to make him feel very uncomfortable. So he learns his lesson and would EVER consider doing it again. You deserve to train in peace. And if you are so uncomfortable you cant go to the gym, thats not fair either. Off the top of my head, all I can think of is threatening to film his piggish behavior and post it on youtube. but Im sure theres an even harsher yet legal punishment. I just dont know what it is.
/r/askFDS08/06/21 07:12 AM
3

idk. I've just watched too many true crime interrogations lately. it's always like the killer confesses that he and his wife were having marriage problems. why would you even say that to an investigator? is it just pure coincidence, or did she maybe not die of a cardiac arrest?
/r/askFDS24/05/21 11:45 PM
7

red flag that they broke up the month before.
/r/askFDS24/05/21 07:47 PM
7

I long for a man who will never text or call me unless we are having a conversation about where and when to meet. or other important details. I don't want to hear about their day. Lord knows they don't want to hear about mine. less is more. but hey, everyone is different.
/r/askFDS16/05/21 11:23 PM
27

you have learned a lot more than they have. about how to heal. how to deal with shitty friends, how to handle toxic people. if they were put in your shoes, they would crumble. I tell myself. because in so many ways I'm lucky to be alive. but I had to crawl on my hands and knees for years. to escape the black pit. you have too. you're on the other side. you are safe now. if these people can't see the new you, then you might have to distance yourself from them. until they understand. otherwise it'…
/r/askFDS15/05/21 04:13 AM
27

nothing I hate more than needy men. let the trash take it self out, as they say.
/r/askFDS13/05/21 08:11 PM
3

Sometimes I watch this YouTube channel called Infinite Waters. He talks about how your vibe attracts your tribe. but he also says people will come to love you by your work. So if you don't go outside, and watch Netflix mostly, there's not much of a way for people to get to know you. but when you CREATE something. something new. something from your soul, people will see it in themselves and be attracted to you. I've had more male attention than I ever wanted, but to be honest. most of it came fro…
/r/askFDS13/05/21 07:01 PM
26

It's cool to see where someone lives. but I wouldn't hang out with him alone at his house, if you are serious about waiting. take it easy on yourself. Don't you want to challenge his character with activities beyond eating? before you do the deed. maybe find something fun you can do together? To make sure he has some longevity. and is sufficiently compatible for you to tolerate beyond a couple months. in my experience, finding a guy who wants to play nice for 4 dates to hammer you is easy. findi…
/r/askFDS13/05/21 06:19 AM
15

It doesn't matter which.. the perception is that "this is a good time to laugh". which is wrong. do they care? will they be introspective? depends on the person. I dropped out of computer science college, because the teacher ogled me when I tried to ask a technical question. and that was the final straw. You'd have to be a stronger person than me to put up with this bullshit.
/r/askFDS02/05/21 05:03 PM
10

he sounds at the very least like a terrible narcissist. telling you to go out and get laid, and find someone like him. insisting that "it's his house", and therefore no one is entitled to privacy. I mean this kind of stuff is all over the /r/raisedbynarcissists board. It's smart to move her to a room where he has no excuse to enter. she also might want to start a habit of recording him (without his knowledge), if he says weird things to her when she's alone, or enters her room unexpected. it's n…
/r/askFDS30/04/21 03:33 PM
8

I've discovered that a lot of people are minorly toxic on some level. that being said with a background of abuse and CPTSD, you are more aware of these traits, and it might be hard to put up with the slightest bit of toxicity in your life. but there's a big difference, between not validating every opinion someone has, and blaming someone for feeling a certain way. I would push him, and test him a few times to see where he stands. Is he one of those people who is secretly a bully, who tells you t…
/r/askFDS23/04/21 08:11 PM
9

lately my strategy is to make sure we have the same values. a lot of my female friendships ended because they supported Trump, or they don't recycle. sometimes it's really petty, but having the same values helps. ask them questions about their lives, about their family. to see how they respond a couple people who supported Trump, I'm still friends with, because we just don't get that deep. and we don't make it an issue. but you have to figure out what kind of friendships you want. do you want a …
/r/askFDS22/04/21 04:18 PM
2

It's like in the movie Tangled. She feels almost SICK leaving her abuser. Guilt is a useless emotion. it's only purpose is to tie you down and keep you with someone who will drain every last inch of your soul. What helped me escape is coming up with a list of priorities that are mine. I was very impressionable, and used to take other people's values for my own. but a strong woman has values of her own. the ones I chose are 1.) health and safety 2.) sanity and 3.) reputation or integrity. I came …
/r/askFDS22/04/21 02:26 PM
15

I don't have the anger so much. what I have is 2 mother figures who spent their entire lives looking for "the one". waiting for "the one". and bending over backwards because they thought they found "the one". when they could have been out living their best lives. here they are old and just disappointed. because everything they spent their energy on was for men who didn't give back. so now I'm 38 and single with 2 kids. I could think back on all the times men wronged me, but I don't have to. all …
/r/askFDS21/04/21 04:48 PM
9

some people aren't capable of giving due respect to anyone. others had no clue what you were worth, and might have removed you from their lives, because you don't meet their niche. that's how I look at it. either someone treated me like shit, because they treat EVERYONE like shit. or they ghosted me, because they didn't know what I was worth, what I'm capable of, or you know? maybe they had a foot fetish and you just weren't into that. I mean there's all kinds of reasons you don't talk to people…
/r/askFDS15/04/21 12:07 AM
9

Let's switch genders for a moment. Is there a type of ugly man that you imagine could be high value? There are a few high value ugly men that I know. They are kind. They use their time wisely. They are not very self conscious of their looks. Because they have a deep sense of what they stand for. I think you could do the same. Every woman would swoon for an ugly man with honor and virtue and that niche inner beauty. Find out what makes you amazing and practice that skill. And practice kindness. C…
/r/askFDS06/04/21 07:04 AM
9

You could maybe tell him you started seeing someone who is a ragaholic. Claim you are too busy making dinner for new boyfriend and just dont have time to hang out.
/r/askFDS05/04/21 03:49 PM
24

his reputation is already tarnished with you and the sex therapist. Why not just blow the whole lid off this facade. aside from ruining the relationship with his wife (which obviously he does not value) what is the harm? you might be thinking.. poor lady doesn't deserve this bad news after a traumatic birth!. I mean in all seriousness. if you wait 5 months, not much will have changed. and she might be in a better position to get out. 2 months? not sure what the appropriate amount of time is here…
/r/askFDS02/04/21 01:16 PM
3

Yes
/r/askFDS03/03/21 03:37 AM
3

Tell her that she deserves better. Remind her that things can only get better if she gets out. If she choses to be an enabler, thats on her. but some people dont realize they enable bad behavior.
/r/askFDS27/02/21 06:33 AM
10

what about what YOU deserve? geez
/r/askFDS23/02/21 05:58 PM
22

I found out in my own DV cases that dragging, cornering, and any form of intimidation counts. but just because I had legal standing, doesn't mean I was brave enough to use it. I'm really proud of programs that help women, and sometimes men to have a place to go in case they do not feel safe at home. makes a huge difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:51 PM
40

I've noticed an issue where I don't get a chance to start speaking. because of the mansplaining. I'm the service owner and they're too busy explaining the service to me, to let me address the problem. and then I'm an asshole when I interrupt. was just wondering if men experience this also..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:16 AM
8

You need a plan. to escape this person. to banish him from your home. What are you going to do? What is the plan?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:10 PM
2

that's interesting.. I never considered my persistent vertigo could have been caused by TBI. I'm glad you got the help you need </3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:54 PM
3

plot twist. this person is your son..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 07:18 AM
0

banking all your happiness on a relationship is what you want to do that is literally the opposite of what I said I want to do. but ok?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:01 PM
1

it's a saying from /r/antiwork. A job's purpose isn't to make you happy. it's to give you money so you don't starve. looking for meaning in a job is probably a lot like looking for meaning in a man. both are foolish. perhaps we can agree on that much. yes. Thank you for being the millionth person to suggest "therapy". that only makes you sound more ideological and pious. not even going to break out the sarcasm on that one. it's a blanket statement that completely ignores the circumstances in whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:35 PM
-3

It's really cute that you recommend making friends. Like I haven't tried for 10 years. It's really cute when you recommend finding work and passions. Like I don't work 50 hours a week doing something I love. FDS is great. but the piety wreaks in this place. You'd think it's a sin to want someone to talk to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:32 PM
2

a job will never make me happy. work is work. happy is being retired. getting the money (love) you need without the sacrifice. and if you go by Maslow's hierarchy of needs. some form of love is needed to continue. for people like me who have lost ALL of my friends and family. some thing must fill the void. I'm not settling for exes or LVM or mentally unhealthy males. but I think it's OK to acknowledge there are days where it's tempting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:08 PM
18

inability to care about your feelings (check). feels the need to blame/shame you for having a natural observation (check). you'd be dodging a bullet blocking this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:35 AM
5

I am so jealous :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 01:51 AM
-14

I think the hate towards Jada is more about our love of Will Smith. than anything else. and the excuses she told herself were really something also. Will Smith > whatever PickMe is with Offset. don't even care if I'm flamed for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:36 PM
6

that's kind of how I left to. it has to be done. avoid the hoover maneuver!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:12 PM
28

They seem to forget that it’s more of an indictment on them if women would rather be single than date them. the cognitive dissonance is fierce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:56 PM
20

sucks we have to waste our time and energy on LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:05 PM
11

relatable :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:59 PM
6

I'm sorry someone hurt you </3 my heart breaks for you. I don't want to be touched. ever. again. I can't even cuddle with my children. If a stranger or doctor violated my personal boundaries, I'd probably go postal on him. Probably time to find a new doc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:34 PM
1

oh gotcha..yeah I'm hoping people realize it's a real problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:57 PM
1

in psychology, you don't have to be fed up to recognize the "unhealthy" triangles as people call them. Unhealthy: aggressive, victim, rescuer Healthy: assertive, opportunity to learn, coach and there are many images online comparing these. in these diagrams, passive aggression falls into normal aggression. it's unhealthy. it's angry. and it's demanding. even if it doesn't include violence or intimidation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:01 PM
1

frequently actually.. that is the textbook behavior of a covert narcissist. they are bitter that people don't think they're great. so they are prone to lots of sarcasm. but my narcissist in particular he is very sarcastic, but can get adrenaline infused panic attacks that make him quite aggressive indeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:09 AM
-7

disagree. I studied this for years because of some narcissists in the family. and while women are less likely to use dominance and intimidation, they can be quite toxic in the realm of passive aggression or "hooking people" where they appear helpless under the assumption someone will step in. passive aggression is ALSO a form of aggression in that it's the opposite of assertiveness. and assertiveness is actually communicating your needs and expectations. but also accepting "no" as an answer. whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:05 PM
3

congrats on being freeeeeee <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 07:30 PM
13

how do you find happiness being single tho? I think about guys a lot. but know they are ultimately worthless. it's some real mental inconsistencies I'm working through..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:57 PM
7

I'm dying rn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:32 PM
13

You can get a spare disposable phone number on google phone as well. that can be answered by your phone once and then thrown away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:43 PM
10

omg right in the feels
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 06:04 AM
26

but I can enjoy video games and dressing comfortably without being a pickmesha. this seems like a problem also. we can't generalize people like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 06:53 AM
13

sounds like something a triggered person would say. OH YEAH WHATABOUT ESTROGEN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:40 PM
5

yes it is liberating. wouldn't say I'm stressing one bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 03:39 PM
6

I'm sure they exist. I've just given up hope there is one for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 02:43 PM
21

idk. it took me like 7 years to leave an abusive relationship. and lost alllll of my friends in the process. now I'm single, and everyone leaves me on read, because they don't even know!! like maybe you don't want to be supportive and that's ok. you have your own shit, and she is being selfish, because she never asks about your life (which she should). I always tried to reach out to my friends and talk about our hobbies, their lives, their family. but it wasn't enough. people just don't like dra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:52 PM
41

I love how simple and accurate this reply is. To toxic humans, accountability DOES feel like abuse. and they think retribution is "justified".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:41 PM
7

scrotes mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:34 PM
-18

I think they do exist, but they have zero sex appeal. think of a real 40 year old virgin, who gave up long ago and has no expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:45 AM
13

it's good you want to use logic. but toxic people male or female, don't deserve a chance. save your energy. like yes troll them. but make sure it's a more painful experience for them than you. that's my strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:26 AM
26

he could have been nicer. offering to help or not putting a video of his SO freaking out on insta. just sayin..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 09:01 PM
3

idk. but I can only friends with incels who are aware they are incels now. the attractive ones get a jealous wife. the hopeful ones will pretend to be my friend for years. and then ditch me randomly. because they lose hope. me: thinking they were a legitimate friend the whole time. there are some who have wives be we've known eachother for 20 years and never hooked up, so I guess the wives figure we had our chance. no love interest there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:05 PM
4

things I wish I had known :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:59 PM
12

Do you know a good server?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:17 PM
15

Sometimes even pretty people dont find love. Lots and Iean LOTS of people fake love. Because it only lasts for a couple of years before you realize youre stuck with an asshole. I have some "ugly" or overweight friends that have found guys they like longterm, because they have just accepted themselves for who they are. The guys understand too, they just love their wives' personalities. And have fun together. Unfortunately I dont have the recipe. I just know their magic isnt based on looks. becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:51 AM
11

I haven't dealt with being attacked by a stranger. but if its someone you know being extremely aggressive, and abusive, I have found several tactics that help. For example, standing behind them. forces them to turn around to talk to you. which breaks their assumption of dominance. I've also had a good response, standing on furniture, high up. because this forces them to look up at you. which subconsciously makes them feel like a child. The goal is to waste their energy. because it's all adrenali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:13 PM
3

Yah he definitely lacks self reflection too. but I cant place ALL the blame on him. When she is willing to fuck both of their reputations. That is not what HVF would do. Maybe his want and need is to get self worth from his girlfriend. Because his parents always called him trash. I dont know these people. Quite frankly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 09:07 PM
8

Think if the roles were reversed though. Sounds like he isnt communicating, or she isnt listening. Some people just lack self reflection..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:44 PM
5

Thanks for the optimism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:22 AM
13

My crush came in to my office today. And told me he's leaving the company </3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:26 PM
2

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 09:19 PM
2

Amen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 01:14 PM
27

I had two 8 year relationships. Neither boyfriend would let me go camping, travel, hang out with friends, or even start a garden. These codependent betas, telling me Im lucky theyre interested, because Im a single mom. Boi GTFO. I do what I want to, when I want to. No relationship with a man is worth putting your life on hold like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:12 PM
15

Im holding out for a Bob Ross or Mr Rogers. So wholesome..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:05 PM
2

going your own way (in my mind) isn't about ignoring your desires. it's about not needing validation to understand who you are, and what you believe in. it's about accepting any potential rejection as more of a problem with her (maybe has a bf), than to internalize a rejection as something about you. You are going your own way by accepting the risk of a possible rejection. because it doesn't phase you, and doesn't define you. which in turn, allows you to take more risk. and increase the statisti…
/r/MGTOW204/02/20 07:35 PM
32

Every crush and ex boyfriend Ive had is now happily married. Either those women have lower standards than me, or these guys learned how not to treat someone. I would say Im the failure. but Ive always been the dumper and not the dumpee. For things that are def crossing a line. So I feel you 100%..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 07:08 AM
8

lmao. right!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:32 PM
19

I work in a male dominated field.. I've found some of my best female friends are the wives of my male coworkers. it puts me in weird situations. but way fewer bad situations than just settling for men as friends. They need to ​ 1.) realize I'm not going to steal their man 2.) have some values in common. we all like gardening and have kids. these are things I can ask their husbands what their wives are up to. if we seem to have common values. The rest is history. Took a couple years to build thos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 07:48 PM
6

Surely it depends on the man. Ive never had luck with men, but Ive had friends that have great husbands. C'est la vie, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:37 PM
16

Omg. Im rolling.. "bang maids"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 04:35 PM
5

ewwwwwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 09:05 PM
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