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swaylyn Archive

View 17 posts and 464 comments by swaylyn on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
339

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:20 AM
200

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:41 AM
182

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:39 AM
173

LEVEL UPswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 10:41 PM
129

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:36 AM
107

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 01:43 AM
105

FDS ANTHEM 🎶swaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:17 AM
95

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:58 PM
89

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 07:29 PM
72

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:28 AM
71

#JustLVMThingsswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:07 PM
58

DISCUSSIONswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:10 PM
40

FDS MOVIES & TVswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:15 PM
17

MINDSET SHIFTswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 03:47 PM
1

#JustLVMThingsswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 05:07 PM
1

RANTswaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:43 PM
1

#HeAin'tTheOne2021swaylyn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 01:48 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
55

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 09:03 PM
10

Didn’t he mention his friends accomplishment because he didn’t have any of his own to use??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 03:33 PM
11

That last paragraph was a wonderful ending, soothing conclusion to the chaos you experienced prior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 03:22 PM
75

-__- I thought he was trying to get praise for stacking some bowls in the sink. All amounts to the same thing aka nothing useful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 05:29 PM
23

“You make me feel used” cue victimhood they would never stand for it Lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:04 AM
74

He’s ready to say he HAS 2 kids, she’ll do all the work so it’s not that hard on him. Getting married would be the same she does all the work… but he might feel 😱 trapped
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 01:48 AM
311

If they knew it was casual they wouldn’t be mad. I love how he says “Molly understood and said sorry” then the next line is Molly does it AGAIN lmfao Also… Molly gives him advice that helps him solve his troubles. Then “the issue now is Molly” Molly giveth and taketh away 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:35 PM
97

If she did die. He would have done what he did. And that would have been the end of it. That freaks me out even more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 06:03 PM
53

The fact that she cannot trust him…to handle important matters in the best interest of the family (not just her but the child as well!) when she’s unable to/in a vulnerable compromised state. Scary. And says every thing she needs to know. He knew and they agreed that they wouldn’t use that name. He went behind her back anyway. Wow. She should definitely get the name changed and get her affairs in order to exit this marriage down the road. And him saying “good riddance” lmao and now fake sobbing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 05:57 PM
102

I wish he would for her sake!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 11:44 AM
149

It’s the “quotes” for me… trying to belittle her accurate and very valid feelings & interpretation on the situation She’s “hurt” because I “abandoned” her. I’m troubled by how he indicates that while she was speaking of her pain for x amount of time he waited over a day not a couple hours but a lengthy amount of time before taking her to the ER to shut her up. No empathy, no compassion or consideration. Dangerous dude. Then dislikes her response to his action and seeks out supporters so he can f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 11:43 AM
110

Yikes. He’s up to something. Either trying to get her used to it so he can get her to sign something serious later or he’s aiming to do just that in the here and now. For him to say she’s acting worried/suspicious… assuming those are the words HE conjured up. Screams that she should be worried & suspicious. Him creating an argument AND not dropping the topic when told to do so. Screams that he wants her to just do what he wants and he’ll persist and use any trick he can to get the outcome he’s s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 01:40 AM
6

By exercising 20 mins to get the womens day award on my watch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 02:47 PM
47

That was so sad. There’s a lot of crap on Reddit. But that post hurt me more than anything I’ve ever read on here. I hope her and her baby escape safely. I don’t even have the words for how awful that sick individual is…to do this to her. To have a baby who would grow and see the impact of that environment first hand
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 02:31 AM
36

Yes to this! I’ve had one relationship. I started out thinking oh he’s just dumb I can educate him. Ended it knowing nah he’s misogynistic-hates women and has no empathy. Aka cannot and doesn’t want to be fixed. Men approach things and SEE THINGS differently from women. When they say something it’ll never mean what we think it means because we are conditioned to differ mentally in that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 01:02 PM
33

Lack of reaction from you tends to make them feel a lack of control which gets them acting OUT It can be…desperate, annoying, scary, a range really that’s why it’s important to always think of your safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 12:57 PM
2

I love that “this is my face when engrossed with work” I had a LV manager once and he would call my work phone to “check up” on me and make sure I’m at work, clearly he had nothing better to do (his employees were rapidly leaving the job and working a new better position… so turnover was high) So when I answer I’m usually friendly thinking it’s a client. As soon as I realized it was him who stays wasting your time my voice dropped you could HEAR how unenthused I was. (He was also micromanaging t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 12:47 PM
17

A lot of the comments were advocating for her to leave, stating it shows a lack of respect and it’ll only get worse later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 11:45 AM
13

What If is on my watchlist, haven’t gotten to it yet, thanks for letting me know the ep I’ll be sure to check it out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 03:44 AM
21

Yesssss!!!! THIS IS IT! All the men that I’ve met that have nothing going on and are filled with -resentment/life is against me so I’ll take it out on you and belittle/look down on you- are all the types that are fucking idiots (in general). And they didn’t do well in school because they didn’t care! And when they took an inch towards applying themselves which set them far below average they went around -hey look at what I did, praise me, aren’t I incredible- Then when school is over and it’s ti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 12:50 AM
37

I can totally see a woman posting that. She thinks it’s “funny” and (hopes) “relatable” She either doesn’t know any better or… is (willingly?) stuck in her situation and trying to cope. The things I’ve heard some woman say…I just had to hold my tongue because they were not ready to hear my take. Especially when you’re exposed to xyz behavior long enough it becomes the norm until an outside force shakes you and says NO THATS NOT NORMAL annnnd you have to be down to hear it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 10:37 PM
11

When did he throw out all her clothes? Do you mean when they were married and he was dressing her? Because THAT bothered me… alll of a sudden she wears Kanye approved attire. Kim, a woman who knows fashion, not a woman who has no clue and is down for some guidance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 07:55 PM
328

Op I want to personally thank you for this post. The laugh “Kraft mac & cheese w/shredded cheese on top” gave me 🤣🤣🤣 That last one was spooky 👻 “let ME install your breaks stranger you go inside my home and watch Netflix 🙃”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 07:38 PM
769

🤣 wow I love how prepared she is. Detailed financials and anticipated expenses. Notice how he uses terms like “feels gross”, “very turned off” “transactional” and disses her preparation via binder! Lady is losing out on a lot of money and possible career advancement while he gets to coast and 9 months later go “I’m a dad now 😁” The comparison he made about other couples not doing this smh means nothing. And his little “her body her choice” he isn’t a fan of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 04:08 PM
15

This video gave me life. I watched the whole series one summer in college and I hated Ted he was so irritating. But wow this video certainly does him justice ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 02:38 PM
51

No the Uber one is a separate story and woman (the site is a little confusing they start you off with Story A and like a run on sentence go into story B. I read a couple articles from the post link that did the same move smh. And the stories are wild too! Lady in the link is so cute her unblurred pic is further down in the link all I could think is the dude cannot be all that attractive and his texts were lame tooooo flattering and the whole “I’m coming to the date from work so I’ll be in unifor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 02:00 PM
26

Sheds light on the husband and how he consumed all areas of her life aka control. And who he allegedly was….what he’s done. How others viewed Brittany and how’s she’s gone now. I found it interesting hearing what women had to say vs men when interviewed. The women were very “something was wrong, I’m worried” the men were “hmm somethings up but that’s not my business 💅🏽” And then Perez Hilton (idk why he was interviewed) with his subtle victim blaming and trying to act like he has remorse for bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 03:26 AM
3

Personally I found S1 hard to watch but I also didn’t know what I was getting into then. S2 I found much more enjoyable since I had an idea of what to expect… I like the show for the way certain serious topics are portrayed and the conversation I’ve seen it start. There’s a lot that would NOT happen in high school (hopefully) but I just add that to the theatrical nature of the show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:58 AM
14

I totally agree OP. Realization I’ve come to recently. A lot of the times when they say they “love” you it doesn’t translate to how you would expect it to… even if they think they mean it. A lot of individuals aren’t capable of love because they have never really had/seen it and are to wrapped up in their trauma and hurting others before they get hurt. Too selfish to genuinely care and love for another. It kind of hurts to know this… (more so because I’m noticing my family dynamics, I’m not too …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 06:52 PM
18

🤣the pop quiz on knowledge he obsesses over was triggering
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 05:53 PM
41

I had an ex who told me that line that he’s always been the one to break up with the woman. I already knew if we ended it was because I would walk. Fast forward to the end of our relationship, I broke up with him he pretended to be cool about it (wasn’t cool about it and kept talking nonsense until he saw an emotional reaction from me since I was pretty calm when I told him I can’t do this anymore. So I let some tears flow and he seemed momentarily satisfied) instantly said it was a mutual break…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 08:40 PM
30

“Tea ” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 01:59 PM
3

Who’s the author?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 08:07 PM
10

By not talking to them and pretending their words are pearls of wisdom you wake up daily to hear
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 09:29 PM
12

You don’t need to tell him anything. He is well aware of what he’s doing. Not making a big deal out of vday is to set you up to expect less and be OKAY with it. And overtime the current less will be “too much too high too much work” and he’ll drop it down another two notches. Just cut the cord and move on without him. Bc while I’m the short term you could still manage this… it’s not worth the headache later on The same way he doesn’t owe you anything. You do not owe him anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 04:09 PM
9

Powerful comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 03:39 PM
12

I… am not sure what words to string together here. DEEPLY appreciate the highlights though. I want to laugh. I’m happy to know I don’t feel all too triggered by this story. My ex gave me shitty vday gifts last year and I knew I was done with him after that. Then he went to visit his male friend who had plans with his gf and he lied that we got into a big fight bc his friend thought it was weird he came over to hang out in vday… mmhmm Anyway… this dude in the post is filled with contradictions. H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 11:38 AM
4

First thing I said when I read this post was…. No one should be okay with being with a guy like this. Ignorant on purpose. He has access to the internet he should have taken initiative long before now to look into pregnancy so that he knows what to look out for to aid in keeping the mother and child safe and healthy. Instead this woman is out here compiling research and HW for him HOPING he’ll look at it. Downhill ride she’s in for
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 11:53 PM
74

He’s LOVING it! Put her to sleep in the living room. Proceeds to go out there because ooooh gotta hit the kitchen, also need to turn on the lights to see, not like phones come with flashlights these days. He’s probably stomping his feet too. “Reddit please am I the asshole” lololol aka “praise me for causing some nifty destruction to this chicks life, yall impressed/got any tips?” He’s never had a gf move in with him before… why now? Need that extra cash flow? Because I doubt she was begging to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 12:31 AM
7

“Just be yourself” lmao 🤣 I can imagine him being pisssed reading that from you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 09:30 PM
14

That hurt a little to hear. While I’m doing well moving forward post breakup… the “he was likely cheating on me”part is still going to take some time to work past but hearing it in the video really had me for the first time calmly just accept that yeah he def was doing JUST THAT. I’m a smart person the signs were there tangible proof isn’t needed to confirm what I KNOW went down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 07:25 PM
13

Mike UNDERSTANDS that you make bank hahaha but seriously, happy to hear about your success!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 05:06 PM
15

I think he’s lying about her skill level also. Possibly his could have been weaker than hers and for his ego and also who will be able to correct him he’s telling everyone that she’s a bad coder but obviously he’s great and talented AND such a hero trying to get his bro a job bc he has “connects”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 05:05 PM
5

Lol “it’s unlikely she’ll get the job now and Im STARTING to feel bad” He… does what he wants in hope to get what he wants… and pretends he feels bad for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong for NO GOOD REASON (because no where was it listed that if x got the job then he wouldn’t have a job waiting later) Reading all the lies was EXHAUSTING. He’s exactly the kind of coworker an individual who separates personal & professional would NOT want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 05:00 PM
23

If that’s not the woman’s automatic mindset they are sure to make it the new norm. Heavy use of the word “we” little “all you say is I, I, I” if she says “I feel…” lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:57 PM
385

….his whole confession is pathetic. He KNEW he just did not care. This all had an air of mock importance from beginning to end “look at what happened because of ME, I had the power to STOP it, I could have CHANGED her whole life” He was basic in the story, giving an air of “reflective awareness” to gain points and that’s about it. Personally all I saw is the use of a young woman’s tragic life story to center himself as a main character of importance. Even when she’s gone she’s still being used t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 02:29 AM
9

Found it super weird he went and spoke with your ex…. Clearly boundaries are of no importance to him The part where you mentioned your traditional innocence… you trying to prove to him that you DO fit what he wants. Please don’t do that again in the future. There isn’t anything wrong with you. AND you have NOTHING to prove. If you and x dude don’t fit then you don’t fit easy as that. AND honestly a lot of people, men especially lie about what they want. Either because they don’t know, or because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 08:38 PM
3

Gave me 2 blissful weeks of peace before he texted me with a pathetically false sense of entitlement rudely expecting me to answer. Was furious when I didn’t reply and refused to pay me the money he owed. That made me mad, and I sent him a text and eradicated his existence in my phone. I’d rather him take his vindictive vengeance out on me by keeping that money which I always suspected he would do anyway bc he’s spineless yet filled with anger bc he’s spineless) than by doing something truly har…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 08:21 PM
5

Sounds soo exhausting having to deal with them. I was thinking about that the other day. How… men that behave that way push you into a corner to either remain behaving how you usually do which has them gleefully continuing to push and think they are one upping you OR the force you into behaving in a way you actively didn’t want to in order for them to back down. The fact that they are adults. And only respect a very linear line of behavior that is usually toxic and disrespectful is problematic f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 12:35 PM
15

I stopped reading after “bye love you bye”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 12:20 PM
2

This is a wonderful breakdown thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 12:54 PM
4

What’s the difference between a NV and LVM? (Is the N for negative or no?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 05:31 PM
22

WOOOW! In essence: It went from bf is on the up and up yay To a natural discussion about what xyz wants which was actually a coded what I want(??) which then revealed that you two are not compatible and that based on your update he was going to use this incident to bend you into what he wanted because he planted the seed now he was ready to water it to fruition. I understand feeling floored OP. That was sudden on your end. Delayed on his end. All I could think while reading was that he really wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 04:28 PM
17

He was blaming the “change” in her (her starting to see things more objectively and realizing some boundaries she wanted) as something that I whispered in her ear therefore I’m a troublesome friend putting ideas in her head (was my takeaway) Honestly it helps to have someone not closely associated with the situation providing some fresh air giving you room to THINK again outside of the abuse bubble. But it’s always up to the individual to decide what they want for themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 05:04 PM
62

THIS!!! i had a friend who I eventually learned was with an abusive guy who lived 3 hours away. Anyway he was a whole mess and just bad news but outside of showing surprise that she allows him to spontaneously stop by her place for a weekend without notice I stayed out of it. Anyway one day she told me how HE said that I’m giving her these ideas (by ideas he meant just her instilling boundaries and not putting up with his nonsense as often) mind you it took awhile for her to tell me he was abusi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 01:39 PM
59

You can Google it, reviews will also help I would also add. Looking at the Google map and the surrounding area (the feature that lets you see what the street and buildings look like as if you were physically there)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 01:22 PM
79

That was insaaaane! But it’s great you’re safe and that will never happen again (what’s bmw?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 01:11 PM
89

Wow that added 1000x perspective, the last line was chilling!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 12:40 PM
21

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:29 AM
46

He didn’t put random people before you (that was my first thought too until I realized) he put HIS PUBLIC PERCEPTION ahead of YOUR FEELINGS. I’m otherwords he cares for himself. He knew he was breaking up with you… dragging it out the way he did. Having you be put in a tension fueled and uncomfortable situation was wrong and deliberate on his part. He’s not a good person. I would advise you not to reach out to him… he comes off as the type to relish in your pain and discomfort. Sorry OP. You des…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 08:23 PM
1

I feel like chances are craaaazy high that the son with his father being the primary influence in his life and abandoned by mom AND the tales the father will tell him… well the son most likely will turn out to be bad news for others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 09:13 PM
18

This comment is everything. Well worded advice and insight
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:59 PM
61

Annnnd how the youngest is 13 just reached old enough where the courts take in consideration what she wants. So he came force her to see him. Whole post has an air of “I wanted to use the law to MY ADVANTAGE but it’s NOT WORKING!!!!. breathe it’s cool I’m a niiiiiice guy I won’t ask for anything. I’m patient it’s all good niceguyniceguyniceguy”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:39 AM
141

And teens are RUTHLESS! omg they will Flame you alive with their words if you get on their bad side. And if they smell weakness welp it’s over for you 😂 him saying his daughters wrote a collective letter for him and said they have a new father figure so that’s that on that oh my goodness lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:32 AM
221

I agree. This guy reminds me of someone I knew. From the fake “it’s my fault I’m too blame” to running straight into IM A VICTIM THOUGH!! And “I still love my ex wife she’s the love of my life” lolololol they’ll say anything and continue being a tool. Him losing his business from lack of funds. Lol no duh. But honestly dude left out a laundry list of incriminating info that just doesn’t fit the narrative he wants the world to swallow. When he said his wife moved on fast I was thinking FASTER THA…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:29 AM
38

This was such a lovely bedtime story, I feel 🧘🏾‍♀️pure unfiltered tranquility. Thanks for sharing OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:21 AM
15

That last paragraph had me LOLing at work ooooh man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:07 PM
134

“You nearly had a breakdown” 😂 mmhmmokay
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:40 AM
71

Lmao 😂 I lived with an ex and when I broke up with him and we were moving out I took everything I paid for, he tried to TELL me he would be taking xyz (of furniture/items I bought bc he liked them and didn’t want to spend money to get one for himself) I let it slide bc I just wanted a peaceful exit then I caught myself and was like no he’s not getting ANYTHING Of mine and told him I’m taking xyz (to which he responded then I need to buy him a similar product!! I told him that makes no sense and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:49 PM
202

I just watched that whole video. Wow. She was constantly dismissed by the medical system. And she called her bf at work telling him she is going to the hospital and he goes “ok I’m at work I have a lot of stuff to do then I’m going out to dinner with some ppl” so she went to the hospital by herself and was there for hours before he eventually rolled through. And at another point she mentions how she told him she needs him to drive her to urgent care bc she can’t do it herself and he told her to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:42 AM
27

That was… such a sad read. I am confused about the: parents think she’s ugly. Other people found her attractive. She didn’t go into her parents much buuuuuut I’d bet there’s issues there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:35 PM
49

“I wasn’t gonna comment” lmao and pass up a chance for attention yeaaaaah right dude. He was so gross on the vid and the time he spent on how many mins he talked to her “5. 6. 7” just wanted to talk until he hit some words that fixed this 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 01:08 PM
166

“Always overthinking and bringing drama where there is none” YESSSSSSS THEY LIVE FOR THE CHAOS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 02:43 AM
68

YES! I was like.. weird question… why crayons this isn’t kindergarten… I would imagine charcoal or pencil for sketching but there are so many options, I would never think oh.. crayons 🖍! And from there is went downhill. Once he spoke about white tracing 😖 I want to say idk what that was about but I had a negative physical reaction upon reading that so I clearly have a solid guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 06:06 AM
11

Yesss!!! A lot of smaller incidents that you can look at as separate. Because they have us too focused in the current state of crisis. And once that’s dealt with. On to the next crisis they create. But in times of calm and reflection you realize those isolated incidents are allllllll a part of the same pot. They paint a WHOLE picture. I’ve dealt with that same scenario once and also come to realize that the “misunderstandings” are their way of saving face and just lying to get out of fault/lectu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:14 AM
9

In the proposal video, he gets down on A knee. AND SHE TOO GETS DOWN on BOTH knees… during the proposal. The whole post is attacking me just from exposure alone. Cringeworthy from start to finish. BUT I am happy she’s happy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 05:46 PM
9

I looked at her Instagram. The blood comment may likely be referring to a photoshoot they did that is also on her Instagram (the caption is blood related very vamp wannabe pic)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 05:43 PM
18

There are sooooo many scenarios out there: no support network to begin with, raised and lived in an environment where LV was normalized & encouraged, sheltered and not experienced in the manipulative & abusive ways of others. We are all made off of different life experiences good & bad. Can’t expect that we all walk around with the same knowledge and beliefs. Trusting your instincts. Is one of the more vital take aways I’ve found on FDS. I want to have compassion for the individuals who don’t kn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 09:56 PM
12

What did you use to video chat?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 07:51 PM
10

He knows food is more expensive that’s why he told her she would pay. And it’s fair because “he paid for one thing and she paid for one thing” is what she’s supposed to believe so she agrees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 05:04 PM
7

That’s what I thought too, that he wanted to whine to her and try to make her feel guilty for how he had to wait on roadside assistance and it was sooooo late and blah blah rage at her for putting him in that position. No one cares :/ I was impressed by how quick she blocked him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 02:48 AM
205

I watched this yesterday she looked gorgeous (her outfits and hair styles very different from looks she gives in real life yet STILL pop like I loved it so much haha) did you notice in that scene how she wanted to talk about her single and proceeds going to the manatees and the talk show hosts only let her talk about it her breakup NO mention of the single. Smh (I also LOVED THAT SONG ARI AND KID CUDI PERFORMED in the show bc it was so spot on and all the way in your face hahaha) That whooooole …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 01:33 AM
214

She’s 22 and sounds like she has NO support network. That’s a hard life to live. Therapy isn’t going to magically fix that. And that breakup she had definitely made things worse unfortunately. I hope one day she’s able to have a support network, it truly makes all the difference
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 02:58 PM
84

The ending… when he says being in an open relationship can’t be healthy and he wants to close it. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 01:38 PM
66

🤣 knowing full well he’s keeping track of what she spends regarding him and how much he’s spending on things concerning her. 🙄 “50/50” dudes are cheap!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 05:59 PM
202

“She just wants to quit” aka she’s tired of putting up with my shit and decided to leave * Pikachu face*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:41 AM
8

I think that Issa & Lawrence ending up together was a good ending for them. Because they are BOTH indecisive! They had time a part to do better professionally. But think about it, Lawrence is STILL lazy af doing THE LEAST lol only now he makes good money and has a stable job so at a glance he looks like a well put together tall glass of water. Issa debating over taking a salary partnership job vs working with the disrespectful can’t trust a man Crenshaw and choosing Crenshaw ultimately really sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 11:33 PM
19

Omg can we talk about Nathan?!!!!! I just watched S5 yesterday. From Nathan’s intro ep (where I was like hmm ok he was fun for a day. To all episodes after that concerning him I was like uhhhhh get him OUT OF HERE) he was sooooo LV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 11:24 PM
37

This!!! My ex would bring up marriage, bring up us having kids, ask me how I envision my wedding how many bridesmaids I wanted, smdh I never thought about that kinda stuff because I left it at, when I meet someone that fits the role of husband and father of my adopted or surrogate children then I’m about it, otherwise it’s off the table. I was so irritated when he harassed me about wedding questions bc I was tired and already said “idk I never gave it much thought” but he kept pushing me AND FOR…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/21 12:55 AM
32

Omg. I…never knew that that could occur. That’s truly messed up. Happy you’re having better holidays now OP :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 10:34 PM
27

YESSS ACCURATE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 07:51 PM
61

She realized the error with him not being able to work with her and compromise… I have my doubts that she realizes that asking him to move in and offering to support him was a BIG NO She’s 28, likely doesn’t have much relationship experience and long distance… doubt she learned what she should have there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 06:20 PM
3

THIS!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 06:06 PM
16

I never saw the movie is it “the jewelry goes to another woman?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:01 PM
37

Did the eyeliner tat hurt a lot like how ones on finger knuckles hurt more than other locations?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:03 AM
6

Proud of you! That last paragraph was reeeaaaalll!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 03:53 AM
2

This article was wonderful, really gave the impression that she was talented, inspiring, accomplished AND did what she loved, on her journey of life reached a level of happy that comes from having what’s important and what sustains her in her life (idk her idk if she was happy.. but the way her loved ones spoke about her briefly in this article I would like to imagine she was) Thanks for sharing op!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 12:53 PM
14

I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t a fan of satc for obvious reasons (I didn’t mind looking at the clothes tho) I watched at least one of the movies wild ride. I ended up watching the satc we are old now reboot and… I’m not mad at it. It’s annoying in ways but Carrie I can tolerate her now. She showed boundaries which was cool (the clothes 👌🏾) and weeeeelllll with BIG was like hmm ✌🏾I leaned into my couch and said “it’s better this way, the show will be better without him” and I really love Carrie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 06:12 AM
14

LOFL I saw that post!!! And the commenters failed to note that going emotionally slow does not mean the man would also be going physically slow so yeah it’s a trap. It was interesting because when I read the post I found it sooooo odd to phrase it “emotionally slow” why make that distinction compared to just saying you want to take things slow. Then I thought hmmm bc he doesn’t want emotionally intimacy he wants sex benefits. And her saying something about therapy wasn’t even bitchy! I went to t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 05:44 AM
21

Yesss when they admit to being the other man. I had an ex tell me well past a year into dating that he used to sleep with married women and they used to hit in him etc etc. i was sooo disgusted, because no greater proof of “I’m emotionally unavailable which is why I pursued numerous relationships with older married women unhappy with their marriage. It made me feel good about myself as the young stud cue smirk and I don’t see anything wrong with my actions bc I WASNT the married one” like okay m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:59 AM
10

How does that work, so if they reach out you just do not reply or engage and then they fade out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:53 AM
25

I’m not, her ego got stroked and she also thought “yeah 😏 my profile is different from others out there” not faulting her… I’m just not impressed by this. Hope it works out for her though…. Lost me hardcore at coffee date and then 6 hours…save something for the next date
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 01:59 AM
3

Facts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 08:17 PM
8

Wait why do they ask?? Sounds like a weird question
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 07:44 PM
11

Hmmm I’m struggling to see how this is a real question Bc I’m not emotionally invested in this guy the way you are. You made the best choice for yourself. Future you thanks you immensely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 06:43 PM
16

You know… I have noticed that erotic scenes in books I read hold next to no interest for me these days. I prefer genres that are thrillers, mystery, mythology, etc etc, but I gravitate towards fiction with strong female leads. And a lot of times the love interest is a let down so I don’t particularly root for any of the intimacy that gets thrown in. I’ve just been… glossing past it. It’s not surprising though a lot of ppl have a distorted view on relationships so no wonder it’s portrayed how it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 06:27 PM
15

Netflix doc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 02:41 PM
31

What’s… the difference between emotional and psychological abuse? (Tbh I’ve just viewed them as interchangeable)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:03 PM
5

Yes! When I read it… the way he spoke about how she doesn’t use a lot of products and such and her routine is pretty simplistic. It came off as if he resented that she doesn’t have an extensive list of products and use a blow dryer etc etc. idk if it’s so he could more easily whine about it… but it’s like he’s mad that all she needs to do for her hair is use her towel. “How dare she” So yeah she’s probably stunning and he resents how easy it is in his eyes for her to look good maybe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:33 AM
1

Hold on… Zoe was in this is us??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:19 AM
1

I liked the last sentence. Anyways… wtf?! Why do they always like using OUR things????? He used her HAIR TOWEL as his BODY TOWEL. Why. There’s a reason they do this, see our stuff and use it, I just can’t figure it out but I know I hate it and it’s testing boundaries. Her hair towel isn’t weird. He doesn’t need to understand it just respect it. His reasoning for unpacking her towel was bs. I just… why. I hope she dumps him because while his behavior may be common this behavior is not healthy. An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:16 AM
8

Impression management?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 06:31 PM
13

This comment is so insightful. I need this to be upvoted higher!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 06:27 PM
45

Yesssss to all of that. When I’m reading works of fiction now I’m REALLY put off by the “romance” going on bc it’s normally not healthy and supportive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 12:11 AM
94

Lol I FELT that eventually 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:11 AM
5

Lmao “good taste I must say” that took me out OP 😂 Anyway, I hear ya, think about this: if he is engaging in a behavior YOU KNOW you would never do (because surprise surprise you’ve thought about how that would make him feel and/or know it’s just not a cool thing to do) that right there shows an incompatibility that you should laser focus on. In this case, it shows he doesn’t hold respect for you, and he doesn’t view woman as people, just the usual “woman exist to serve me/stroke my ego/sexually…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:02 AM
66

No, but if a guy ever went near that statement I just respond with “we’re not talking about that right now, we’re talking about…” and keep MY point on track because I’m tired of the derailments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 02:36 PM
2

Him arguing with you and justifying angry behavior. Wasn’t cool. He should be arguing with you. He’s saying WHAT YOU THINK IS WRONG BECAUSE ITS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT HE THINKS. and he wants you to think how he does, he wants you to agree with him. Nope. He’ll never have respect for you or value your thoughts & opinions. The “I hate you” men aren’t funny. I would take that seriously to. Oooh it’s a joke? No one laughed. Get rid of him and save yourself some time and energy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 01:42 AM
9

Nooo you are spot on!!!! I’m also first gen, and yeah…. They won’t change, it’s freeing to know that but deeper below that it HURTS to be around them and know they’ll never be what you need. Now that I’m single and on my own for the first time I’m living alone. I journal much more, focus on staying in touch with me and what I WANT & NEED. And I’m trying out new hobbies to see how I can expand my list of interests. I enjoy being home alone. I enjoy my time alone. Esp because when I go into the of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 12:49 AM
7

Damn OP… I felt this… family can be difficult and very painful. All I can say is prioritize yourself OP. Take care of you and you can’t go wrong This is my first thnxgiving doing things my way. And I wanted to do nothing but chill at home. Then got invited to Friendsgiving and was thinking of what I’d wear and what it would be like (half excited, half wary of meeting a few ppl I’m not familiar with). The goal was not to go visit my family because they’re horrible and being around them messes wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 12:07 AM
6

The neeeeext pandemic, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:48 PM
31

Fake woke vibes. I watched and there was ONE scene where I had hope for that character. Whelp she backpeddles and I took that moment to realize I shouldn’t hold out hope on anyone being firm in their convictions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:47 PM
46

Whoaaaa I watched most of that series and I did not catch that. My moment of Unredeem ability of the show was when she got with that asshole doctor and had his kid. He was sooo mean to her the whole series.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:45 PM
44

Same. Putting on a front and showing a woman what you KNOW she wants is easy. And his poor boundaries will lead to him pretending whatever bad crap that goes down wasn’t HIS fault he HAD NOOOO control :/ I’m not impressed with the insights given in the post to speak to him being HV. His circle being problematic is more than enough to prove that he’s not HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:41 PM
11

Wild because she’s beautiful and he’s….to put it KINDLY “questionable”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 07:20 PM
1

I can envision it. Reminds me of my covert narc ex. He had no problem PRIVATELY calling out men when he has a female audience (even if it’s just an audience of 1) a movie is on and some dude is just being wildly bad news my ex would talk crap about him It came off like he’s a good guy because he can see and call out what it is in the horrible behavior of a fictional man or a guy you’re telling him about that isn’t any good. What it really is, is them distancing themselves from the men are trash …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 05:43 PM
38

Hold on… 3 books in the same series or 3 unrelated books. Also how do you…do that, keep it all straight and moving along?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:17 AM
55

I’m mad he didn’t link the book :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:15 AM
55

Love this for you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:43 AM
40

Got into relationship with one, and when I look back on it from beginning to end… there was no point where I ever went “wow this relationship is going to go the distance” But even in the beginning and all throughout the relationship I was always assessing and thinking about breaking up. And while I know a healthy compatible relationship wouldn’t have me dreaming of single life and thinking about just ditching the dude. The fact that a relationship was just not impressive to me. There’s too much …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 12:40 AM
19

Lolol “wtf now I hate you” Ewww I hate that you went through that, such an incredibly rude inappropriate thing to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 12:42 PM
11

Why men who really hate women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 02:16 AM
48

Yesss, you KNOW he does. I read that part and went hand up I don’t need excuses or details I didn’t ask for. She makes more period. Move on to the point of this post. He’s also cowardly. The way he added the housekeeper solution was to limit the amount of hate/call out he was/will get
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 02:14 AM
352

Imagine being a med resident… and PRETENDING you don’t know that a woman in her third trimester should be taking it easier than previously and the toll it has on her body. ADD to that, that they’re both working a similar schedule as residents (aka he KNOWS how demanding and grueling that is on the mind and body, lucky for him he isn’t the one pregnant) That “as others have said I don’t know what it feels like to be pregnant” is a weak cop out. He’s unempathetic which is tragic and I feel gross f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 02:09 AM
1

I found it on hbo max
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 12:04 AM
14

Google let me down hard, I did the text thing lol oh well. Fortunately it was just about the beginning and I tagged the post spoilers just in case Thanks for letting me know! text anyway apparently it DOES work smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:59 PM
29

Did she…marry him after he deviously showed interest?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:09 PM
89

I mean… it’s not surprising. We see posts like that alll the time. Of men being delusional. They KNOW what they are. They KNOW their weak areas. And they refuse to think about it so they switch up the narrative and dare I say…gaslight themselves? To fluff up their ego and sell the lie to everyone else. “I attract some women easily. Mostly women that want to take care of me lol” That whole sentence is false. He has a type that he has gotten results from therefore he stays getting action from his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:19 AM
9

Could you elaborate on the possibility their feelings could be genuine in the lovebombing phase? They are delusional and believed their feelings are true. The same way they believe their “justification” for bad behavior they inflict later on??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:53 PM
7

BOTH of your arms, arms plural?!!! One is more than bad enough… but both is like psychotic on steroids
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 02:09 AM
11

Between Us is also a beautiful song 🥰 I’m excited for future music they make as a trio (didn’t know how I was going to feel until they dropped their latest album)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:02 PM
87

His tantrums are controlled rage which could lead to physical abuse? Reading that post was soooo absurd to me (specifically the FAKE UP/you’re FINANCIALLY ABUSING MEEEEE/ITS A RIGHT NOT A PRIVILEGE/just start breastfeeding so I can keep my subscriptions you pay for) I couldn’t take it seriously. Couldn’t take her husband seriously. Him being unemployed because he chooses not to work tracks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 01:40 AM
36

Also… I feel like safe spaces… get infiltrated. Either with individuals intent on corrupting. Or individuals who want in but are actually of the wrong/incompatible mindset. And so it begins. Example: the situation in the post. That fb group COULD have started out good. And over time as more joined, the quality went down. It is what it is. We can only do what we can. And actively continue to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 07:14 PM
37

I’m sooooooooo happy you had a neighboor like that, that ended this safely for you. That’s terrifying. Usually bad cop stories are about being in a full blown relationship, dating for awhile. This is the first I’ve seen about 1 date = boom 💥 the scary chaos. Very eye opening. How old was he?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:32 PM
9

Idk how many responses you’ll get here, but if you don’t get many I’d encourage you to make a post about it. (I honestly can’t think of one, BUT I can say that Disney remake show dr. Doogie I believe that’s the title? With a teen doctor has a healthy couple in it (the parents, and even the teen couple) it’s so heartwarming and professionally inspiring haha)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:24 PM
17

Can you give an example or explain a little more about “support narratives that advance your interests”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:12 PM
29

I…was SO upset that her flight wasn’t expensed to her company since let’s me honest there was a work element to her trip. But then…it’s LA and what did I really expect smh. Hot dude she was (lovebombing not cat fishing right?) Idc that she did his hobbies because I liked seeing her rise above her fear and perceived limitations…. Going to a steakhouse as a vegetarian was when I was done. It irked me she was compromising who she was for this hot guy she doesn’t know and isn’t compatible with. Ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:49 AM
16

When I read the bloated part I was like. Hmm I get bloated it’s not fun. But her description goes beyond that. Like the scene I envisioned from the post was very “he does this and feels no remorse, or care for her and her comfort” Gas is a human thing, if you aren’t experiencing it, you (general not specific) have a medical problem on your hands. Passing gas in your sleep, a time when typically your muscles/body are relaxed wellllll it happens and it’s not in anyway the fault of the person. Pers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:38 AM
5

What’s a closet neckbeard?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 01:31 AM
35

Idt the wife is grossed out by IBS that’s not her problem. Her problem is her husband is disgusting af. And he hides behind the “I have ibs 🥲” to justify his nastiness. You (general not you specifically) are only in this post as an ibs individual if you would also be gross and leave a mess for someone else to clean up after you with intent and no consideration for others. Tbh I doubt 99% of any women on here who suffer from a form or extension of ibs would fall into that category. The wife is fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:56 AM
40

Lmao I had an ex say “I shouldn’t have to use my brain like this” Me: like what? Him: thinking what I should have for dinner APPARENTLY it was MY job as the WOMAN to come up with what we should eat for dinner (not even we, HIM what HE should eat for dinner) because my answer of “I haven’t really thought about it, what do you think we should get, what are you in the mood for” put too much work on him the MAN Honestly in the moment it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Second only to when he t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 12:47 AM
17

You got me too?! I swear I lost 10mins of my life thinking back on when I experienced that exact scenario. Smh 🥂to better times ahead
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 12:42 AM
6

Hahahahahaha that made me lol. I’ve heard that about Taurus men. Dated one anyway. Would not recommend. He was on the cusp of Gemini smh just too much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 02:54 AM
33

I can’t get by the taxi part. So… the taxi guy was looking for a target and almost spirited you away?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 02:23 AM
32

This comment is everything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:25 PM
38

Oh he’s an ex now good! Post I saw kept referring to him as a bf and I was like so…you’ll uproot your kids life and yours move out of his place and what…still date? This is done. The abruptness with which he expected her gone was ABSURD. She moved an hour away to move in with him… he asked her to move in. Then decides he’s over it. I’m sure he has someone else and he’s ready to put in full time into that until the cycle repeats. My first thought was hold on you’re moving your kids in with this d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:23 PM
33

I saw that post, she was given good advice, definitely in the usa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:19 PM
16

I had a dude offer me tap water when I went to his place. I said I don’t drink tap do you have any bottled water. Called me bougie and argued with me over how superior tap water was. He also had a mattress on the floor. The next time I went back (to pick up an earring that fell out of my ear) he bought various bottled water juuuust for me :/ and wanted a gold star. I took my earring made up a horrible excuse and left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:11 PM
25

😂 “and it’s ugly cousin” lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 11:07 PM
83

That… was an appalling read
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:13 AM
10

I COMPLETELY agree with you OP. I’ve also had a similar experience. My old therapist lacked significant experience -professionally and personally- (time should rectify that for her) it was posts on FDS about vetting therapist that had me start to realize I need to pay more attention to mine and realize she wasn’t any good for me. I have some slight anger towards her skill level and mindset and how that kept me in a situation longer than I should have been there. She took my LVx side or tried to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:34 PM
3

And it wasn’t even …a compliment. Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:24 AM
3

“This isn’t about you. It’s about me. I couldn’t give a damn if I ever saw you again.” Daaaaaamn the spiteful truth came ouuuut. Also. The “you seemed realllly into me” something about that text makes me want to just cover it up with a curtain. It says what spoke to him and had his interest with the interaction was how INTO HIM YOU allegedly WERE. Not that you held characteristics or compatibility traits of note. I guess that’s modern dating who knows
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 01:23 AM
52

That’s so annoying. It is not your responsibility to REMIND him to DO HIS JOB. I had an old manager like that. He always wanted you to remind him to do his damn job. So glad it’s in the past
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 08:21 PM
100

Why the rosary prayer hands? That was sooo specifically accurate I’m stunned
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 08:15 PM
42

Tbh I’m not into tattoos at all.. my ex had zero tattoos. And ended up getting a leave tats (like a relative of his had) He just told me he was going to do it. Got it done. Felt self conscious because no one believed this dude would do it. And I suspect like me they weren’t fans of it. (It just came off as very “I’m lost and don’t know what to do, let me copy something someone else had done to feel like I have a plan and gain some of their confidence) real world DOESNT work like that buddy. I le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 08:13 PM
69

You’ve been dropping gold all through this sub ALL DAY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 08:07 PM
14

Also (I know they’re young) but the way he brought up we’ve been together for 4 years and have been talking about marriage more and more. My first impression was that it’s not that he’s INTERESTED it’s just that he thinks that’s inevitably where it’s going…. Like he has a loose noose around his neck. I only see him leaving her if he found someone “better” Tale as old as time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:36 PM
34

Tbh I wish I saw a post like this 2 years ago. I went from… this is weird but I don’t get the impression anything is going on. To skip ahead he made new “friends” and THAT one friend makes me wonder if…. Knowing if I bring something up he would have so many excuses to pull from -you know I have female friends, never bothered you before -I would never cheat Blah blah lying blah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:18 AM
4

Uhhh your family is so cute I love this 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:11 AM
37

Lmao I got the second line when I would wait until I was ready to talk about xyz. And I got “it’s in the past” line when I would bring it up in the moment and reference a PATTERN of behavior. Hahaha I love “it’s still an ongoing event” Tbh if I’m ever dating and hear “it’s in the past” one time I am out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:09 AM
183

If it happened 2 minutes ago they claim it’s in the past. If you did something 2 YEARS ago… but it’s the one time you made a “mistake” it’s brought up whenever they feel attacked. Same shit, different day. They are not original. Tragic when it goes beyond impacting adults and negativity impacts the kids, sorry OP, keep fighting the good fight
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:15 AM
18

Then they go “yeah you did”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:51 PM
19

I laughed sooo hard when I read him saying you should go to a woman’s shelter then. I went… is she not looking for a roommate for her apartment. And your next line was “it’s MY apartment” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:50 PM
71

Yeah… my logic is never trust men. They operate differently and have different rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:42 PM
121

I HEAR YOU, I’ll take it a step farther. It’s only been 6 months… this life injury stuff is too heavy for me, we’ve only been CASUALLY DATING for a bit now… you are not my husband and I do NOT know you like that to take on your financial burden or role as caregiver. Same way if the roles were reversed he would have been gone in a blink
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:30 PM
146

Ooor the fact that he did RESEARCH into cheap fake diamond looking rings!!! That’s embarrassing as hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:28 PM
105

Can we expand on the trait of being generous. I was thinking about that the other day… how my ex tricked me into believing he was a generous guy but there’s not an altruistic bone in his anger filled body. And I’m actively trying to stay in my lane and not be helpful to unknown individuals just because I can and it’s easy. Sometimes less is more. (In particular I’m focusing on work situations) But being generous is soooo easy. It rarely hurts anyone and it feels good. And yet… it’s a trait many …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:26 PM
858

Idgaf about the ring 💍 talk anymore. THE WAY HE SPEAKS is horrible!! He’s so ungrateful for what the gf contributes to his pathetic ass life. From the moment he decided to “explain” what his sister meant about he gf doing so much for him I knew smh he needed to live in the dumpster. No one asked for an explanation. The moment he said “4 yrs ago she” I knew he didn’t give a f*ck because it’s “in the paaaast” and his little “I have a business degree not like I’m unqualified” okay aaannnnd? Still w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:22 PM
2

YES TO ALL OF THIS wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 10:36 PM
46

Can you explain that.. I got a little confused at that part
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:56 PM
79

I feel like that’s progressive and so awesome of your mom to give you an actual talk. I was just told “you’re going into hs, guys like to have multiple girlfriends, they’ll say anything” I mean….my mother was NOT wrong lol but yeah some more advice would have been good. But hey, no disastrous harm done
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:47 PM
115

🤣the lies are HILARIOUS! I was told that he gave me orgasms when I answer his question of it I climaxed with a slow no and I said…. How are you going to tell ME that I had an orgasm when I am telling YOU that I did not. I was there. When I had the “I’m not finding sex with you pleasurable” talk he took it in stride and at a later date comes through with IVE HAD WOMEN READY FOR ME JUST BY LOOOOOKING AT ME. obviously we are NOT sexually compatible because I can’t give you an orgasm Lmfao I’m amaze…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:45 PM
4

All of that sounds good (imo) Moving back home is + in the sense of saving money on rent omg that will help soooo much (I almost did that, but in my situation that would have been putting my mental health at risk) Not moving home and finding another living situation such as an apartment is + in the sense that you’ll have that feeling of “you don’t need him/you can handle obstacles life throws your way” it’ll give you a huge feeling of accomplishment and confidence. Plus being able to do what you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:32 PM
10

I’m glad you have a plan. I hear you, I was in a similar situation. Lived with my ex as soon as we moved in together he started acting up, and it just got worse over time. 6 months in I made the decision that this relationship needs to end there’s nothing for me here. Realized my finances weren’t where I needed them to be so I rode out the rest of the lease bc I didn’t want to leave in bad standing in case I wanted to live there again. Plus I loved the apartment. I was subjected to emotional abu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:23 PM
6

You should still get tested. I’m not saying he has anything, but if he did he could also “not know” by being asymptomatic. I know of a woman who started sleeping around and caught the cancerous hpv from a guy. After hearing that the comments on FDS saying dick can cause cancer had me like 😨 they have never lied!!! (I’m sure you’re fine OP but definitely get tested just for full confirmation)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:12 PM
6

The fact that this series is based on true events I think it is what adds an extra shiver to the whole ordeal of simply even watching things unfold. What happened to the sister is so tragic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 10:15 AM
10

I think he was straight out living with her secretly for a bit not just staying over and she lied about that to her kids? I was like 👀 why is my screen saying 5 weeks. Have they only been together for 5 weeks and she bought a place for them?! What episode am I on ( one I was still on episode one I WAS FLOORED) Yeah when she hid the fact that they married. WHEN THAT VEGAS WEDDING HAPPENEDAnd she married this man that weaseled his way into her trip?! If you have to hide what you’re doing, you’re n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:16 AM
17

Oh my goodness. WHEN SHE SAID “give me a minute” and leaves him in the living room while she goes to freshen up in her personal bathroom. Only to hear this stranger of a man, throw himself onto her bed in her bedroom! I WAS ALARMED and disgusted. (From him showing up at her place for a date dressed in his very casual wear!!!! Low effort from the jump! See what he can get away with) When he wouldn’t get up!!! I was like hard no, call the police, go somewhere safe. That’s such an uncomfortable and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 02:02 AM
55

That makes sense to me, if you’re homeless you NEED them and won’t be going anywhere (and they could easily sabotage you) if you’re there bc of love well what happens when that fails! Then he’s left with nothing woe is him. These types always expect things to end or the woman to want to leave bc they KNOW they’re pathetic ass men they know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:02 PM
6

I saw this jar opening contraption and immediately let my best friend know that men have become obsolete. That’s all she wrote. If they are needed they can relax because “they have the power, you won’t leave, etc” I remember when I started dating my ex and the look of helpless panic on his face when he realized I didn’t NEED him and I could walk away at any time because he had NO hold over me. I was with him because I wanted to be. I always had my own reasoning. And when I left him I reached a p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:54 PM
13

You did not stutter 😂 One thing I’m noticing HARD CORE is that deb doesn’t have any friends. I feel like she could have a great life if she wanted to. She’s got the home, the business, the $$, her family doesn’t seem bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:31 PM
25

I’m still watching (idc about spoilers) but I hit the scene where we see his previous wife. And juxtaposition of the wives learning that he’s lied deceived them. The expression on their face. It guts me. I can only imagine what that’s like but damn. I’m a big fan of the previous wife and scared for her bc of that threatening vm he left her talking about she should enjoy her time left and think of him in her last moment 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:29 PM
29

Lolololololololol i cackled when I read each bullet BECOMING OFFICIAL ON THE THIRD DATE 😂 had to search my memory to check that yup been there. The madness. They feel cringe in the moment and you shake it off later to get free and go HMMM YEAH A LOT OF THAT WAS suspect ⛳️ you live & you learn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 02:02 AM
5

Can you explain test the enmeshment? In this context
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:38 PM
5

Omg! My ex was a covert narc and he did that crap all the time. Would just say things with no introduction just jumping to the middle. And I’m like…. What are you talking about. And he acts like i should have been reading his mind the whole time. I either ignored his ass and go ahuh hmm cool. Or I would inquire and walk him through telling me in order the thought. EXHAUSTING he was 4 years older than me, he knows how to communicate. He just wanted to make me do labor, give attention, and demonst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:37 PM
7

What did he lie about, like his job?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:33 PM
125

He got angry at you judging his friend, because the same qualities you were judging are the SAME qualities he possesses. My ex always got annoyed and defensive whenever we watched tv together (a show he picked and it had a horrible LVM who pulled some nonsense on his wife like getting another woman pregnant. And I would say wow she should leave him -spoiler alert she kicked him out- and I said good for her, he’s only going to drag her down) my ex loved seeing a representation of HIM on tv. And t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 10:27 PM
55

Yeah I instantly thought it was a controlling maneuver like “here are DIRECTIONS you better SHOW UP”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 01:56 PM
11

You don’t have to pacify ANYONE OP. You did the right thing. You feel safer and more at ease not exchanging numbers until after a date of meeting them. (Not everyone will have that standard, but it IS YOURS TO HAVE. There’s not a damn thing wrong with it) That was a man who didn’t like to hear no, had no respect for you-your boundary-OR YOUR SAFTY. He had no compassion for you. Glad he unmatched saved you a step! Anyway, you did nothing wrong, keep doing what feels right for you. I read this on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 10:35 PM
5

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 12:01 AM
101

Hardcore victim mentality. Woe is me. He’s a miserable person and constantly looking for someone else to blame. Dated that, hard pass. Shame his wife married that but I’m sure he lied his ass off to get her into a marriage with kids He will be emotionally abusing her if he’s not already, in higher doses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 10:15 PM
87

Yes. When a man is against the idea of sahm it’s usually because he doesn’t view sahm work as actual work and views it as something a woman should be doing already/a vacation for her while he slaaaaaves away at work. And then he’s supporting her a “freeloader” My ex said he wouldn’t want his wife to be a sahm (that though was Bc of money, and he would also feel like he’s giving more in the relationship than she is 🙄) Honestly it’s ALWAYS about the money. Men are incredibly resentful towards wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 10:09 PM
73

“If someone makes you feel bad they’re doing it on purpose, let them go” That line right there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:11 PM
2

YES! Clark was great took me a few episodes (because the beginning I was very stuck on him lying about his identity and what kind of father I viewed him as. But as the series progressed I just went full on supporter because it became clear that he is a good man. For his wife, for his sons) AND I love Lois as a mother! She balances it so incredibly well! Her career. Her family. You CAN have it all. And the way she stands up to her father. And doesn’t take public dissent personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 04:47 PM
21

OP. First I want to THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing. This post was extremely eye opening to me. Your ex sounds sooo much like my ex. And second, you are incredible, when you said being in charge of your daughters sanity, that was powerful, you have a lot on your shoulders, but it sounds like you are an amazing mother and when your children are older they will look back and be so thankful to have had you and the level of dedication you gave them, children always know which parent had their best int…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 11:59 AM
6

Sarah in “the republic of Sarah” VERY impressed with this character. The focus is moreso on doing the morally ethically right thing for her home/country. There are love interests introduced, I was very happy and impressed with how they were handled Lois in “Lois and Clark” (The Cw has been doing…well lately surprised) Any lead woman on Ted Lasso. Rebecca(she’s great, you can see her become better, honestly I loved her so much), Keely (great soul from beginning to end, a joy to watch)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 10:49 AM
8

Correcting I would view has HV. No one is perfect, all we can do is our best. And sometimes we smoothly fall into a pattern that isn’t in our best interest. Having the courage to change that pattern is what leads to growth and opportunity. I remember being impressed as hell that Samantha did what she needed to do (I just rarely see that portrayed)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 10:44 AM
11

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 10:42 AM
11

EXACTLY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:58 PM
72

Don’t go. Your post alone shows you’re not into it. Can’t blame you. It’s weird and off putting. It puts you in an uncomfortable situation being not with one but TWO strangers who happen to be well acquainted with one another. Nope. Hard pass. Inconsiderate af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:42 PM
7

Wait… why were they unavailable?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 06:43 PM
58

Exactly! He said what he said intentionally. He wanted to see the reaction he would get. HE WAS ALSO LOOKING FOR A SPECIFIC REACTION that would be a green flag for HIM to move forward with OP. This man would have brought endless drama and stress into OPs life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:22 PM
21

ALL OF THIS IS ON POINT. My ex had a lot of female friends. Thought it was weird at first then I settled into the “hmm it’s fine I guess” mindset. I knew he was using them for emotional labor. Dude was VERY INSECURE. And petty, needed validation like no other. Anyway. He tried to make me jealous often and it didn’t work because I’m secure in myself, I was secure in the relationship (he’s a lot of talk and not much action), and I also knew he wasn’t a prize. You can’t trust insecure men. Men with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:19 PM
25

How do you go on a midnight date… is the wife a HEAVY sleeper and not notice his absence???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 10:57 PM
155

YES THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Same deal (I under react most times because I was raised to not express emotions pretty much smh and if I have them I automatically work to suppress them so I don’t make OTHERS uncomfortable 🙄 I’m so mad at my family for the way they messed me up during my formative years ANYWAY) My ex would try to annoy me intentionally legit would admit it and pout when I didn’t get angry. LOOOOL I would hug him and act like some bs he did was fun or cute instead of reacting negatively.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:12 AM
3

This should be a post if it’s not already
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 12:20 PM
23

I used to think it was a lack of self awareness until I realized my ex KNEW all (if not most) of his issues. He would lowkey bring them up just a casual mention tied to his action (for example: posting on social media an old beater car telling everyone it’s his new ride when that isn’t his car and he leased a new year model car to keep up appearances. He received soooo many comments from people congratulating him and a few asking Qs because they know he was driving a new car. ALL I did was give …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:38 AM
12

I get it. Sounds an awful lot like my ex and how he’d like his life to go. He desperately wants a relationship that becomes long distance due to “work” travel so that everyone will understand that it’s not WEIRD it’s because of work so it’s okay nothing is WRONG with the relationship. You gotta do what you gotta do to make a living lmao smh. It’s easier to be in a relationship when you don’t need to be near the other person and you can Do whatever you want and have that freedom that single ppl h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:05 AM
4

“So they say” Hahaha whenever I said something that he thought the opposite about and because me being right means he’s wrong. Instead of admit it, or ACCEPT it. He would stubbornly say “so they say” I only called him out on it once because i wasn’t blinding myself to all the things he did that pissed me off and I wouldn’t miss when I dumped his butt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:34 AM
4

Did he ever try to turn your kids against you, so he’s the “favorite” parent? Just wondering because I suspect a lot of men who stay in the family unit have that evil plan (the ones who sustain their life force with attention, validation and adoration yet can’t achieve the bare minimum)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:57 AM
1

Yessss!! ALL OF THAT!!! One thing I was surprised about is that my ex did not try to break up with me (I was HOPING for it because I didn’t want to deal with backlash from being to one to “reject him”) but having me around added more benefit to him than losing me would And yet. EVEN knowing that. They still won’t treat you well 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:54 AM
7

Wow. All of this 110% on point. I got the “I’ve been the one to end ALL my relationships” line and I was so confused because there was no natural segue into that little nugget of info. Fast forward: I broke up with him because he added no value to my life in fact he provided the opposite and he tells me “You quit on us” 2 minutes later “this was a mutual breakup” in that moment I realized I was certainly not the first nor will I be the last woman to leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 02:03 AM
31

So…he wanted to see if she would die and FAIL or live and PASS? and now they are married because…she didn’t die… That is terrifying beyond measure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:05 PM
15

Omg are you talking about temptations (something something marriage counselor)?? I just watched that this week! And that exact scene played out. I googled if it was rape to see what some articles about the movie would say and so many kept trying to say it wasn’t because she wanted it and I was like 😑that confirms it. Main character was raped and the movie will act like she wasn’t (I looked up spoilers as I watched because I was impatient to see if my theories were right) I HATED that film. ABSOL…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:16 PM
3

You were looking for some sign from your “mother” that she loves you, values you, is your mother. And you didn’t get what you were looking for. The pain steams from the fact that she has the title of mother. It’s a mindfuck. Because if a stranger treated you how she did I’m positive you’d have an easier time finding your solution to the havoc they bring to your life. Our parents typically are our first relationship when we come into the word and are young during those formative years. I am in aw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 03:04 PM
108

I love this, reading this felt like drinking a glass of cucumber water REFRESHING! Proud of your progress OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 09:28 PM
6

Write it! I’d love to read it 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 02:34 PM
55

😂 LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:25 PM
6

My current job, the attraction was although my supervisor was LVM (didn’t know he was LV til later) the higher ups above him were women and I was really inspired by that because of how they came across when I interviewed. They both left. The one I really admired left last year I was like 👀 and her replacement that started this year… yikes. When I wanted out of my current job things were BAD and all I could do was fantasize about getting out to get through. When things calmed down, I used the mem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 12:54 PM
13

What is it for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:28 AM
23

Why would hill collectors call about his debts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 03:05 AM
44

Hold up. That title has me in SHOCK. I didn’t know he divorced. Last I heard he had a coke problem. Hmmm so… all that talk about not wanting kids was bs I guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 12:25 AM
4

He thought it was genius
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 02:29 AM
8

My favorite part was when you said now you “laugh and laugh and laugh” brilliant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:25 PM
15

I… now understand the saying wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:32 PM
1

She’s also in the show on Netflix (The chair) it’s on my to watch list but seeing as it’s her and she’s the lead I expect it to be 👌🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:41 PM
109

“Finance” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 03:10 AM
5

Becoming the narcissists nightmare by Shahida? Lololol the friends comment really got me. Whenever I witnessed my ex with his friends I just became less and less impressed. He worked hard to fit in and be liked. And honestly he tried too hard it was sad because these are people he’s known for YEARS so I couldn’t grasp why he wasn’t comfortable. But he was fake as hell with friends and honestly he came off as being the entertainment trying to be the funny jokster (it was uncomfortable to watch). …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:26 PM
3

I’ve concluded my ex was most certainly a narc. It wasn’t until month before I dumped him that he started revealing things to me about his friends that REALLY had me seeing how sketchy they were and I really thought about who he hangs out with and why. Wanna hear something funny, my ex would always come up with alternate situations to “prove” that he could have gotten me and “used” me (THATS not the funny part) For ex) if we met in college you would have loved me, and I would have gotten you to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:11 PM
75

Or BOTH THEY ARE BOTH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:02 AM
10

Can you expand on this a bit more?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 10:42 PM
37

I’d also like to add to service workers: if he ACTIVELY wastes their time, my ex used to chat up any woman (no matter the age, esp if she was on the older side) and try to CHARM her. In the beginning I thought oh he’s being nice and has respect for them cool. But the more encounters I witnessed the more I realized no…he’s getting an ego boost by deluding himself that they ENJOY spending time with him as they wait for him to give his order or ask for what he needs. (Idk if it’s a bonafide red fla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 10:36 PM
3

Is progressive edm music with lyrics? (Like “scared to be lonely”)songs made by the djs that aren’t high energy but a more low energy vibe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 02:43 AM
8

Poor girl in the post is soo young I hope she gets away from this predator swiftly & safety I knew a guy who was 31 and talking to a 23yo saying how he really liked her and felt they had a LOT in common. Whew I was DISTURBED but NOT surprised Same dude who LOVEs to reminisce about his college days or his high school athletic years. I imagine what they had in common was immaturity. However he was also interested in a woman his own age because she had a “good job” but the fact that she didn’t seem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 03:52 AM
44

It was the “in this life” that had me LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 11:09 PM
22

She has a great voice 🎙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:59 AM
2

Also about the police officer hike, an article I read stated the HEAT it was dangerously hot and the woman flew out to the location/state for the date with the man and the whole thing is SKETCHY af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:43 PM
25

His hatred of her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 12:10 AM
2

This was so beautifully written 💕👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 10:43 PM
81

when they have nothing to offer, they probably think they have plenty to gain...at the expense of the woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:15 PM
4

I looked it up, I was floored by the details mentioned, the poor little girl out of everything the daughter being present and her description of events are what just Idek I keep thinking about how this will impact her psyche and her later in life. Article didn’t mention how the mother is doing I can’t imagine she’s well by god do I hope so
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 12:36 PM
4

Omg! He did that bc she broke up with him! MET SOMEONE AND WAS PLANNING ON MOVING OUT OF STATE Definitely planned on killing her. The case is disturbing deeply disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:55 AM
25

What. Did. I. Just. Read. Why was the first meeting at his place… the stranger danger lesson really goes and dies throughout the years huh? Why are they holding hands at his place???? My mind is screaming 🗣 is this third grade!? You know his ass is playing her false sense of intimacy just so he can f*ck her and have her catch feelings Brave perhaps? Of her to try to subtly throw her pad away in his SOON TO BE OVERFLOWING TRASH 🗑 an adult man that invites a woman over and doesn’t have the decency…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 09:36 PM
45

Reminds me of king Henry #8 killing his wives because they wouldn’t give him a son and plot twist the onus was on his side not theirs 💅🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:57 AM
17

Literally my ex #1 & #4 hardcore He pretended to care about women and the struggles we face. Mmhmm Bc THAT is important to me It was 1.5 years in when he fullly slipped and I realized he was a misogynistic loser. Because he QUOTED my grandmother who I KNOW is toxic as hell and how he agrees with her. I was like lololololol we are not compatible. It is astounding the way they hear you say something and instantly you are brushed aside to smooth out the hits their ego just took
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:42 AM
24

“Is it ambition or is it delusion”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:30 PM
5

Yesssss!!!!!! (To all of this) The different realities is so true. My ex was delusional as hell. But it stems from his severe allergy to accountability I would listen to him Reminisce about paths his life could have taken. And how it was someone else’s fault it didn’t happen “my dad didn’t move me to Cali to live that’s why I’m not in the Olympics I’m still mad about that I could have been a pro athlete/ xyz never told me how much money I could make in real estate when they offered me a job, if …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:53 AM
3

You can win the battle, but NOT the war.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:36 AM
9

Can attest, all true!! Out to control & abuse due to fragile ego, likely very insecure. Doesn’t WANT to change and will NOT change. Will only succeed in wasting your time and attempt to wear you down and accept their obscene behavior. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have skipped away the FIRST conflict I encountered with my ex where he threw a tantrum and tried to shift the blame on me THEN made the focus HIS HURT FEELINGS. I have never once encountered that when confronting someone and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:36 AM
1

Can you also let me know as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:41 AM
1

Ended up msging him on WhatsApp that I’m off the joint account and what app to send the money through. Ended up adding that we are both intent on moving forward so why drag this out. Msg sent and delivered. He also changed his icon to this animated pic of him & a woman on a wine date. Which is bizarre to me since his pics are usually him alone or with a dog or something (legit what he uses on multiple platforms) I did what I could. And I will say, I’m less angry and closer to accepting the fact …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:29 PM
2

I could see the multitask/streamlining friendship aspect at play. I’ve noticed she likes to schedule me in where she has plans afterwards as well. And she always seems socially busy. I don’t view that as a red flag, it’s good to be busy. But I’m getting vibes that She’s more looking for superficial friendships that go fake deep. And that’s not really for me, I don’t want to use my energy towards that. She reminds me of a friend I used to have and it took me time to see the flags there. Either wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 06:37 PM
1

Did you have covid? How are you feeling now? Meeting through hobbies sounds like a better alternative to bumble, it’ll just likely take longer but no biggie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 06:30 PM
3

I’ve had a friend like that ALWAYS 15-25mins late. Meanwhile if she had a date or interview , she was on time smh. Good on you for telling her how you felt regarding her lateness and your time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 06:16 PM
7

Uhh I’m sorry you had to experience that!! Woman just texted saying her friend can’t make it. And I’m thinking yeah neither can I. I don’t like that she pushed even though I made it clear I wasn’t into it. I just don’t know what to say to cancel the plans. I have no interest in pursuing a friendship here anymore because it’s clear it’s not going to be up to my standards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 04:31 PM
22

Learn from YOUR mistakes. Then COME SEE ABOUT ME. That whole line is crazy problematic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 04:09 PM
5

Me too!! Still exploring new hobbies to see if they stick. Actively hate men looking my way or checking me out, my mind is like 🤢 he’s probably trash like my last one. And I want to be single while focusing on my finance and travel goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:27 AM
30

Also the hypocrisy with how you being busy in the evening (which you warned him about) vs him saying he was “busy” in the morning. Trying to get you to exist on HIS SCHEDULE just because he feels he can and feels entitled. Meanwhile you set a casual meaningful boundary of “no evenings, yes mornings to calls” and THAT he wanted to cross. So that he could move on to crossing other boundaries Love that you left him on read after you said what you needed to say haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:23 AM
87

Even hi is…too much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:19 AM
35

🤣 lofl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:13 AM
28

THEY ALSO PROBABLY ARE BROKE AND IN A lame ass job that they should have outgrown by this point in time. And once the young woman starts getting opportunities because she is young and growing into her adult life. Then more trouble comes her way because he’s going to be insecure as fuck and try to ruin her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:06 AM
9

“An old mans condescending experience” I felt that. My ex CONSTANTLY would try to drill home how I lacked experience and how he has the experience:knowledge smh all because I was honest in telling him I’ve never engaged in a serious relationship prior to him. So. Annoying. Esp because the dude can’t keep a woman, and isn’t knowledgeable enough to be good in bed EVEN IF HE WANTED TO BE or create emotional intimacy. Granted he was a selfish vile covert narc so he didn’t give a damn about adding po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:04 AM
118

I literally waited for a group of men to board their elevator at work, so that I could get my own elevator WITHOUT being in an enclosed space with unknown men All I could think is: wow I’m finally taking my awareness seriously and actively avoiding potential threats instead of giving strangers the benefit of the doubt and hoping & pretending that I’m completely safe and I’ll be fine. Edit: not that I willingly put myself in dangerous situations. I just mean while it being daytime can create the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:17 PM
4

Yes! Physical distance brings such clarity and when they come back and are right in front of you smh old habits
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:43 PM
6

Squatters rights is so scary. I’m glad you’re out too!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:38 PM
4

This was an epic read 🙌🏾 From adult beverage -> pack up his stuff IN THE RAIN IN THE DARK BY HIMSELF. -> Ostracized by the whole work crew With the finishing touch of: drove back to his home state w/o a word ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:26 PM
8

What do you mean he tried to compromise her leaving?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:14 PM
1

Yes! Lol. Honestly the ending really made sense because jai Courtney playing an accounting “nerd” did NOT FIT I was like THIS IS NEW I don’t love it but get that paycheck man. Then the ending I went ah yes this aligns with the work you do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:03 PM
10

Can you elaborate on the “showing how he truly feels about you” part My ex did this to me A lot when we first started dating and he brought me to gatherings his friends were having. At one a couple of his friend called him out about just showing up and leaving me to fend for myself not knowing anyone (same friend introduced me to people at the party which was kind of him) and my ex just laughs it off. I had a good time overall but it wasn’t until the next event where he introduced me to some peo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 05:47 PM
2

From hi ho to dummy I laughed SO hard 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 01:50 AM
1

Doesn’t that mean outside of the first woman….every woman they get with is the rebound, distraction??? This is horrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 08:34 PM
50

You can make new memories that you’ll be a part of so in the future when they start “remember that time” you’ll in them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:25 AM
13

So much…fake laughing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:05 PM
3

Good on you!! It took me so long to build up the courage to ask for what I want when ordering food in restaurants. I used to feel a lot of anxiety now I’m just like hey your happiness is important and if speaking up will get you there do it it’s worth it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 06:53 PM
7

Yesss i recently realized I don’t have to be as nice as I am when I’m communicating at work. You don’t need to reply to every email either esp when the recipient doesn’t concern himself with replying back even if it’s important! My bosses boss had a department video meeting with everyone for TWO HOURS idk what was said because I spent my time reading on my laptop to make the best use of my time. But I did tune in to hear him says “don’t trust your gut” Wtf. He’s the type that will come talk to y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 06:47 PM
8

Hmm I feel you. When I broke up with my ex he cycled through all the phases I understand you need to do what’s best for you (lasted 60 seconds) This was the easiest breakup! (As he tries to make me emotional because clearly me being calm was problematic and succeeds) This was a MUTUAL DECISION (right so mutual, he played perfect bf the day before to avoid this outcome. And waited for me to end things for the relationship to officially reach a stopping point) You’re GIVING UP ON US (🙄) It’s all p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 06:32 PM
53

The mustache 🤣 This vid is haunting word for word what my trash ex said to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:36 PM
42

This is so eye opening. My ex used to say the “I know you don’t care” / “I know you don’t miss me when I’m gone” / “I know you LIKE it when I’m not here” And I would just say nothing because he wasn’t wrong! I didn’t give a crap about what he had to say unless I asked him a question then I had some interest. We weren’t intellectually compatible and he was just straight up terrible. But I wasn’t reading the signs in front of me, I was trying to work around it. Just this morning I realized I do th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 11:53 AM
118

Can we address the fact that, he read through all your posts and comments. And still managed to ruin things with you, even armed with such knowledge of your preferences and ideals. And he was reaching for commitment before the first date, did I read that correctly? If so not shocked he would push his agenda further after date one. I really like this msg, rushing commitment isn’t a good sign, often the idea is “we have a connection, let’s do it!” But if there’s really something there, it can wait…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 11:49 AM
38

Grl I read this whole thing like wow she is going in this is deep. To see -Gone Girl. And to realize yeah there were quotation marks lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 07:34 PM
52

He always hated her (more so, what she represents). He just enjoyed the clear power and control he believed he had over her DURING the relationship. When the relationship ends and the lack of power and control is evident the rage shines through stronger than ever. Disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 07:07 PM
91

Think about the impact that has on interviews!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 05:52 PM
19

I was on birth control because I have irregular periods since high school. Had a stroke. That is when I heard from medical professionals that it’s one of the potential side effects of Bc due to blood clots (they don’t even know if Bc was the cause Bc I have other factors at play) Wake up call for me to be more proactive with my medical team selection and not just accept who they give me or who my mom recommends (who is in the medical field). Led to be declining the strong suggestion to go on thy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 05:33 PM
16

Whew! Congrats!!!🎉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:25 PM
12

My first thought is they are envious/potentially resentful towards you. Not to say that they wish bad things for you, but it may be hard for them to see you doing as well as you are because it highlights where they are in life and that may be at a level below you… It’s a tough situation. Personally I don’t share much about my personal life with my family. Because that would lead to them expecting money from me or for me to foot the bill for something… before I finished academia I saw how my fami…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:24 PM
6

I love the conciseness of this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:15 PM
24

I literally overheard my ex telling his female friend how she should give other guys a chance and basically lower her standards. every TIME I overheard him giving her advice I would just feel so sad for her. My ex is a damn idiot, and either offers no real advice and just placates with a nod or offers BAD advice that she soaks up Bc it’s coming from a guy and that means he knows guys. Yeah he knows loser guys Bc he is one! In the early days I was like wth are you telling her and gave him my advi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:58 PM
48

I really want to go in on how Edward was HORRIBLE in twilight because I literally watched it this past weekend going in excited because I like the series. Spoiler alert NO I DO NOT! When I was a teen I think I ignored the flags and the things I disliked and focused on a few things I enjoyed like the dark lighting of the film and the saving bella and the angsty music like with the baseball scene. Edward is literally a controlling self hating nutcase! He GASLIGHTED (hospital scene after he saved h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:53 PM
2

I haven’t seen the first installment yet! Interesting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 11:18 PM
1

That show had me maaaad, it was great though. I couldn’t handle more than 1-2 episodes a day though. Had me eyeing my now ex bf funny like mmhmm I could see some similarities if he was smart enough
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 11:17 PM
10

I get that. I say snoop if you FEEL you NEED to. Otherwise live your life. I only snooped when I felt something was off and I was correct. Otherwise I don’t spend my time looking for trouble Tbh when I started to really distrust him that’s when I knew I couldn’t realistically stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:41 PM
7

My ex tried to encourage me not to block him and assured me he would neeeeever block me and he’s not going anywhere and would be there for me Like what. Dude who neglected me will always be there for me? Also realized when he told me (when we first started dating)he has no contact with his exes how false that may be. Because he got back with an ex before. And is out here telling me how I shouldn’t block him. If I was the type he would have pushed for friendship just to not lose access to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:38 PM
114

Who says this? Why is this the first time I’m hearing this saying. I enjoy this saying so much. Learn to leave the table 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:32 PM
93

You’re the best! I can’t imagine it was easy to break off an engagement, but taking note of what was in front of you and what you would be entering took courage. Proud of you OP! Dude wasn’t even on your level and instead of even trying to be he attempted to out do you 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:31 PM
11

It is not the flex they think it is :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:17 PM
42

*getting other women in his life to cook for/feed him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:06 AM
18

My ex was unemployed (he quit his job. Did not lose it) I worked full time (we split rent & utilities, groceries 50/50) He burned through his savings a bit keeping up with our mutual expenses (told ppl what ppl idk that I paid the rent while he was cue lie about his employment status and plans) I would NEVER pay for a man it is not in my financial budget or goals. He was home a lot Bc he had nowhere to be. He did NOT clean, cook, take on domestic labor in any noteworthy capacity. He wanted me to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:00 AM
8

Girls vaca take the daughters too! Show them that they need to take care of their mental health and treat themself. We don’t exist to pander to a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:45 PM
8

And his comment on how women look back when he crosses their path. All I could wonder is….how would you know unless you’re watching them AFTER they pass you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:42 PM
4

It’s the way he said “he feels sad/bad for women” on REPEAT for me. The way men go about trying to earn brownie points baffles me. Maybe if they did something impressive, tangible and USEFUL that would be a different case
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:39 PM
9

Weeeelllll then I was far off haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:27 PM
11

She’s my hero!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:33 PM
6

What is adult friend finder is that like when your friends know your location for your safety?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:26 PM
9

Tech savvy like how? Also how does one become tech savvy? I suspected my ex of cheating and hiding something (two different times) I snooped through his phone and casually his email/search history. But he would delete anything suspicious on his computer so I didn’t expect much. But I found out his friend that he attended a party with tested + for Covid and we weren’t feeling great and not once did he tell me himself until days later (can’t recall if it was after our results came back negative pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:19 PM
84

I LOVE that moment, when the dude gives you a look of shock that says “where is this coming from” “you’re calling me out and standing your ground” “why aren’t my tricks working on you right now” “why are you not backing down and falling for my lies already” That’s what happens when women have SUPPORT. We learn we don’t have to tolerate the bs that we were wrongfully told was acceptable smh. Glad you are out and free to live your life without him wasting your time aka one of our most valuable res…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:57 AM
78

“We’ve been married for years!!” 🤣🤣🤣 still laughing he just wants to feel gassed up so he can be brave and throw up some bullshit for his financially literate wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:00 AM
58

I am cackling 😂 let me go find my tiny violin for him! 🤣🤣🤣🎻 When he says he doesn’t make much during the summer “she knew that going into it” so 🔎 DID YOU SIR! Clearly he can’t afford HER lifestyle. Good on her for protecting herself financially. Living isn’t free, pay your wife rent because it remains unclear what benefit he provides her while he’s trying to wrangle a free living situation and keep his birthday cash from mom & dad I’d bet his birthday money he’s envious if not RESENTFUL of her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:55 AM
137

Tragic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:15 PM
24

Something worse and more outlandish. It’s always something worse 😪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:52 AM
301

“He’s sexist because of inexperience” Incorrect. 🚫🚫🚫 reverse uno card!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:48 AM
70

The moment it clicked was when a past post describing a situation and what the LV action/words given and said ACTUALLY MEAN in relation to the woman. And then when my then bf played the scene out like a script I was like omg I read about this on Reddit. (That’s when I knew he was LV. Before that I would read and compare and go hmmm my then bf is kinda like that but he’s not LV he’s a good guy. 🙄) The analyzing the ladies do to directly say “he doesn’t care it’s clear Bc” I’ve truly found so help…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:31 AM
63

I really loved your post and what you said about how you can’t afford to be reckless. I don’t have anything to add regarding your questions at this point in time (I’m fresh out of a toxic and likely emotionally abusive relationship and I’m still processing that hurt and outlining my life goals I’ve been working on for the past 7 months)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:26 AM
43

Also would like to add a trauma bond will fuel the cognitive dissonance that may be present. I asked my therapist to explain trauma bond to me (after I’ve done research because I suspected that’s what I’m experiencing) and she said it’s “pop psychology” and gave me a very skeptical look like why are you asking/this isn’t important it’s not a real term. Whew I am finished going to sessions with her smh she’s of no use to my healing. And DELETE ALL PHOTOS of the ex! Helps you avoid diving back int…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 10:28 PM
10

When they ask: how do YOU take care of ME Whew that question had me RATTLED and I couldn’t ask it back because I could list a few things he would throw my way that I couldn’t out talk him out of without going deeeeep down the rabbit hole. (And his list would be “I make you breakfast (he did that two times big whoop), I do manly things like open the car door for you (he quit that so doesn’t count) I carry heavy things (well I wasn’t going to) My brain was like: I got nothing… that’s fine Bc it’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 10:05 PM
20

Haunting, truly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:57 PM
2

Thanks for expanding!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:49 PM
1

Is there an update?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:44 PM
17

Whew I didn’t know about that! Feeding a family is HARD. Portions, leftovers, what does everyone want. And then the actual “finding the time to prep and cook for everyone” I have 2/10 interest in going the child root because taking care of me is a lot of work already, imagine having a grown man aaaaand an actual child to take care of. PLUS a capitalist job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:21 PM
2

They don’t change. He will just be making someone else miserable. Glad you got out!!! VERY GLAD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:18 PM
2

I love this Bc I’ve been wondering a lot what the difference was between a LV and NV man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:17 PM
9

And control, it’s ALWAYS about control over you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:48 PM
8

Proud of you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 01:26 PM
12

More power to you!!! I used to hate eating in front of others for similar reasons. Proud of the progress you’ve made towards healing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 11:41 AM
63

I find it a hint of controlling behavior. When they want you to take the food to go when you expressed that’s of no interest to you. I legit watched a date restrain himself from pushing the issue. The next day I was like damn I should have taken the leftovers I’m hungry now lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 11:40 AM
49

I think they know and HOPE it has an impact. What better thrill then to know that you’re the reason she stopped eating, or panics when something looks to be high calorie, or she starts obsessing over the scale. Then they warp it into how it’s about pleasing HIM And fully disregard how she’s on a dark path that will do damage to her if she doesn’t get out. How it’s unhealthy for her physically and mentally. And she is in a battle against her body. Because he felt jealousy, resentment, hatred and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 11:36 AM
26

Smart vetting process!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 11:15 AM
90

They think it’s a woman’s job
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 11:12 AM
79

LOL 🤣 that’s definitely it! My ex would cook, if I also cooked. I’m not big on cooking so unless I was going into the office and meal prepping I probably wouldn’t and I would just do eggs and cereal, veggies fruit (trying to lose weight) Dude was scared of gaining weight (his body type was small but he didn’t want to be small with a belly too!) so he ate 1-2x a day depending on if a meal was prepared. So there were often times when he ate once and it was something he bought or he went to his mom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 11:11 AM
23

“Different values different tolerance levels” 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 02:24 AM
12

Awww I feel you on the life being devoid of quality people right now. It will be worth it for future you! I’m in a similar boat, just trying to stay focused on my goals and put effort towards trying to connect with new people and see if we are compatible and if I can build a circle of HV people. Kinda lonely though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 01:18 AM
26

Then she took him back :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:39 AM
2

What song was about JB? Oh man I didn’t know she was talking about him in her interviews..still I just figured she had more recent experiences she was referencing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:42 PM
301

None of this surprises me lmao my ex has a 6 pack and it’s his most promising feature in his mind. Means he’s not old yet. Means he’s better than other men 🙄 I remember when I first met him he would be hanging out with bro friends and they were always like can you put your shirt back on/why are you taking off your shirt. Lmfao I started saying similar when we lived together and he was trying to get attention from me and an ego boast. Just acted uninterested. I mean I was about it but on my terms…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:26 PM
1

I LOOOOOOVEEEE HER! It takes her time to learn some lessons but with enough time SHE GETS THERE!!! Also I find her hbo cooking show so soothing I’m like yeah! I’m gonna cook too…when I have to so I don’t starve at work but til then I’ll just watch you cook cool things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:22 PM
13

That was my thought as well, he’s advertising that he’s a jealous man… and that concerns me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:32 PM
108

Great post, found it very enlightening ESPECIALLY the last few sentences highlighting the difference between a HV & LV man. Because LV seek security, they will play dirty and do what it takes to get it. And when they think they’ve got you, they feel free to be themselves which is a gift no one wants
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:20 PM
29

I think compatibility is more the aim than leagues…. The idea of dating & leagues seems a bit antiquated at this point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 09:11 PM
9

Or they try to “level up” and FAIL as per usual 🎻 and their resentment towards your success increases
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 08:27 PM
10

Can confirm! My ex would tell me what he told his friends about me (the good things) and he would ask me if I tell my close friends about xyz nice thing he did for me and I would reply “no, didn’t seem like their business and it didn’t come up” like while I appreciated kind acts, what meant something to me is what I would share. And the dude wasn’t sincere/genuine or altruistic. It was all about making him look good. I rarely gave him credit in public because knowing I appreciated xyz should hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 04:34 PM
6

YES!!! I suspect, they go with the flow with their “bros” and need to overcompensate for the lack of control they could throw around by “rightfully controlling the woman in their life” I noticed in my previous relationship that the less control he had and felt that he had the more controlling he attempted to be with me. Outside the home he was a loser, a follower, less than. Inside the home HE WAS THE SAME THING, except he felt that exerting control over me would prove to himself he was a man. (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:37 PM
26

I fully agree with this. Him asking about her allergies was him looking to score points. And when he didn’t get a response about how he’s suuuuuch a nice guy for asking and not like other guys. He was not happy and tried to get praise and an ego boost AGAIN and it didn’t work. He definitely did this with intention. He knows what he wants and he expects women to give it to him. Your assessment about what that would lead to in the future is SPOT ON! Literally what I fell into in my last relationsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:53 AM
9

Low self -asteam I…can’t get past that. ASTEAM Does… autocorrect hate him or?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 03:35 PM
6

Yesss exactly! My covert narc ex pulled that line on me “our relationship is between us, people don’t need to know our business” I’m a private person so I agreed but let me tell you I told my best friend EVERYTHING good and bad bc I wanted someone who knew me to see things objectively during times when I may be blinded by emotion. He would always inquire if I talked about him to my THERAPIST I was like dude I have more important things to discuss in the short hour I have with her wth. It was tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:12 PM
16

That line triggered me SOOO much. My LVX is a covert narcissist I know his ass isn’t capable of love for a woman esp Bc I know now he does not respect women. He lives for the validation of men anyway when I broke up with him and we moved out of our place he kept saying he cares for me Bc those feelings don’t just go away (while trying to get me to say that I love him and what love means to me???!!!!!! He played a lot of mindgames with me during the 3 days we lived together while broken up but I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:13 PM
26

I think he respected the challenge presented with you not sleeping with him, He’ll never respect a woman. Smdh trash. Proud of you for seeing through him and HOLDING to your standards!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 07:18 PM
2

What’s wrong with a marine? (Anything specific or same thing as military men flags)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 12:30 PM
12

How do you know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:25 AM
7

First, I’m loving you bringing this song to light. I heard it on Spotify recently and I really liked it. Justin’s voice is smh it’s good. Justin the person is traaaaassssh. The songs he’s been doing/featured on lately 🤣 It’s literally him straight up singing about how horrible he is romantically and sometimes just as a general person. Very whinny. I’m currently working through the whole “got away from my LVX” thing and this song just made me laugh and further support my ex being trash. The lyric…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 12:16 AM
1

How do babies do this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 11:36 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:57 PM
1

I feel like that’d be a waste of our time. They would only get momentarily confused then puff up their chest and blame us for the problems occurring 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:36 AM
2

He EXPECTED you (in time) to lower your standards and meet him on HIS level. Trust me. My LVx was working hard to get me to lower my standards I realized that after I acknowledged to myself that staying with him will delay me reaching my goals and slow me down… both those facts together had me like omg he’s an anchor I need to gtfo screw what I think I feel for him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:34 AM
2

My LVX was definitely narcissistic (so are some of my family members ) I think he was covert tho Bc he really fooled me into falling for him and thinking he was a good guy for awhile. Lacks empathy Extremely selfish Attention seeking LIAR No act is altruistic (it’s sparked by guilt, creating a false perception of the good guy, quid pro quo) My ex is evil man. I’m almost 2 weeks out from the relationship and I just i really don’t like him. Took me a minute to forgive myself for staying with him a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 01:15 AM
3

LOL at him panicking. What is straight edge?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:56 AM
3

“Hugging you” but really SURPRISE cracking your back. I just left my LVX a week ago and while im processing the emotional abuse… im started to see that I did have some fear from potential physical abuse with just his words and subtle moves for control. ALSO I think grabbing your phone from your hands is one as well. (My family is abusive so a lot of these things didn’t rattle me in the moment and strike me as abnormal unfortunately but thinking about how far things can go and what I want for mys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:44 AM
2

“The only men who benefit from constant chances are abusers” Yeah, that’s…that’s important. I hear that loud and clear
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:24 AM
7

LOOOOLLL YESS! My LVX told me (after I said hey I haven’t been finding sex with you pleasurable lately -he was skipping foreplay Bc he’s a lazy sob- he goes: I had no idea you felt that way 🙄) and later tells me how I’m the ONLY woman who has NEVER been able to orgasm with him. And how he’s had women ready to go just by SEEING him. Idk how I didn’t laugh out loud at the fucking lies. Bc the man is not talented in bed. He was my first, and I KNOW me telling him he was bad at sex gutted him, someo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 08:29 PM
5

A year later!! Wow 🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 08:19 PM
83

I laughed so hard at the ending. And when he said I wish you were dead then promptly moved to I wish you were still with me THE INSANITY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:52 AM
25

Lmao that “unless” took me out 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 07:05 PM
1

Can you explain this more? I have a supervisor (that I avoid contact with when possible) and he always would say how I’m quiet “like a mouse” and he forgets I’m even here more times. He’s said it often and also tells me constantly to stop by his desk when I get in so he can see me and know I’m here bc most days he gets too busy and doesn’t leave his desk or walk my direction (I did not take him up on that) I think the whole thing is lazy and odd but past that I’m not sure what to make of it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 03:21 PM
1

Yesssss!!!! When I was deleting proof my ex existed in my phone, came across a screenshot I took of texts on my bday from him. Smh (last year) he said some shit about how he loves/is so happy to be with someone in their 20s! CREEPY as hell! (I’m in my late twenties he’s in his early 30s) but he made it sound like me being 28/him 32 like I was super young and like it was gross. I deleted that real quick and was like alright what other crap is in here that’s got to go, purge the whole phone! He’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:42 AM
3

I think it’s both, they’re entitled, think less of us, expect us to to be waiting on them, we live and breathe for them 🙄 and also they want to feel like the one with the power which means we don’t have autonomy or our own independent lives that don’t concern them. My ex asked me if I could drive him to the airport at 5pm when he returned from a trip (to pick up his brothers car) I was like sure, he told me the day not the hour and I let him know I had plans but let me know a time and we settled…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:29 AM
1

Me here at 1am with a shocked face going: MY EX tried this on me. He really went there. If I knew at the time I would have flipped a shit. I’m still learning what negging is, but he definitely pulled that and I usually didn’t calm it out esp if he would say something NICE sarcastically I would just act like he meant the “compliment” lmao bothered him so bad he would be like “it was sarcasm” and I’d just go “oh 🙃” and go about my business bc tbh the fake compliment was still legit lol just Bc he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:15 AM
9

I literally woke my ex up at 5am Bc that’s when I woke up angry about the fact that he has herpes and how if I were to get it from him he wouldn’t give a damn and give me a speech about it not being a big deal, lots of ppl have it. -___- pos. Anyway that was the first time he gave me real solid details about his experience, he has genital, says it’s painful even water running over the outbreak hurts , and he only went on antivirals Bc he was having back to back outbreaks from “stress” (quitting …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:09 AM
7

I LOLd at the irony 🤦🏾‍♀️ he just wanted a captive audience smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 12:08 AM
3

He also said I had too many rules (aka I have boundaries) smh the things I LEARNED! He was my first relationship and I felt like I experienced multiple just in the one 🙄 INTERESTING POINT about sheltered. He has brothers and he’s the only one who stayed in state and stayed in the same town after college and living close to his parents where his mom will come over and cook for him for the week. A successful friend of his told him he was happy he got out of that town (when we moved in together it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 11:59 PM
18

That makes sense. I loved the FAKE version of my ex. I didn’t like the real him one bit. Now that I’m away from him, I may kinda hate the lying asshole. It’s pretty cool YOU’RE not sad about him! My ex expects me to be in heartbreak mode over him which is fine, I’m super happy I’m away from him and I don’t miss HIM but I miss the feeling of just having people around (not even related to him just past moments in my life) Think about what you want for you, what will make you happy and what you nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:31 PM
15

Yes this exactly!! They know EXACTLY what they’re doing. My ex always tried to play dumb or flip the blame on me when I’d tell him hey you hurt me hey I felt disrespected etc. took me a bit to work out that he likes to use people and as such he views himself as a “master manipulator” lmao he’s an idiot but he is a controlling manipulative idiot. The guy you underestimate. When he was trying to come for me in what he was making into an argument I promptly stated that he is very skilled at ready b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:27 PM
9

My ex also said that 3 months into dating and I laughed at him. He said how he thought about breaking up Bc relationships shouldn’t be hard. (It wasn’t hard, I had strong boundries and he didn’t like it, but he fell in line SOMEWHAT Bc he knew I’d walk. If he had ended things I would have been cool I didn’t catch feelings just yet) And told him relationships are work, and if it’s too hard for him then he needs to make that decision. Now I know, cut ties early and swiftly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:20 PM
54

My ex said that too!! Along with “did you expect me to act like that forever” uummm YES, yes I did! Theeeennn when he knew time was running out for us and I would probably end it in a few weeks (jokes on him Bc I did it the next day!) he is all “have you noticed we don’t hug anymore. Blah blah you didn’t deserve when I stopped opening the car door for you for the last 8 months” like idgaf about the car door, I noticed that too idt it was 8 months but that doesn’t matter, I didn’t deserve the pas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:11 PM
5

Thank you!! I appreciate it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:05 PM
4

Can confirm!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 09:01 PM
32

They will always try to LOWER your standards 😒 once I realized that’s what my ex was trying to do to me (and the laundry list of reasons our relationship needed to end) I was like I really have to go. I can’t level up and achieve my goals in a timely manner if I’m with him he will slow me down, and he’s trying to bring me down to his level…that will set me back when I try to create a social circle of HV people. Plus you know the disrespect I just needed to get out. I waited until our lease was u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:41 PM
15

I think (basing this on what my ex has told me, he had training in social services) it’s because work = money, “important” they “have to” but if they could coast with not doing it they would. My ex hated having to use his training outside of work and as an individual the dude had no empathy and was wildly self absorbed/selfish. I thought he would be kind and patient based on his job (which he quit 2 months into knowing him and worked as a student counselor for a while) he could be but it was an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:34 PM
9

Broke up with my NVX. Moved into my own apartment (he moved back into an apt his mother rents out) Waiting to hear on a role I interviewed for (also applying to other roles in the meantime) This one I’m very excited about: used a drill and installed curtain rods in my apartment all on my own!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 06:42 PM
11

This was my favorite post ever!! ESP the “I’m here from the future. He knew what he was doing. He did it on purpose” YESS everything in this post is amazing. Definitely should be in the handbook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 12:47 PM
8

I JUST realized bc means body count. I’ve been reading thinking it meant birth control and I’m like this is confusing just jump over the term and keep reading lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:02 PM
32

I saw the picture and went yeah it is cuter thinking a CHILD drew it and his mom made a more elegant polished version smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 05:40 PM
10

I’m SO glad there’s a post about this! And OP thanks for including quotes! I love Britney she was my first musical: cassette tape, cd, CONCERT I remember being little and catching a clip of her mtv performance for slave for you with a snake on her shoulders before being told to go back to bed bc I had school the next day. Her father is absolute bottom of the evil barrel trash. That NYT documentary they aired. Man I watched that. All I could think is how can the justice system screw her over for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:43 PM
3

I wish I saw this 2 years ago. Smh I’m a week away from freedom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 02:40 AM
6

How does a serving staff take care of you? All I can think is answering yes to the glass of water lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 08:43 PM
7

Wait there’s a tool for that?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:34 PM
12

I laughed out loud at-that is bare minimum. As if they could ever smdh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:30 AM
27

LOL the plot twist. Gotta love the spin media can sell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:18 PM
8

I’m watching this series, I love how the first episode really had Betty looking unhinged and after that you see WHAT LED HER THERE. The why. Oh man. I was so mad those first 4 eps I would just stop after two episodes and continue another day. It’s terrifying and so sad. The way he didn’t care about her health troubles (she kept mentioning her veins and how she didn’t want to go through pregnancy again) and insist she continue pregnancy or not take birth control. The way he gaslighted her about L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 10:10 PM
3

“Pika-pika” lmao that really got me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:30 PM
7

Heartbreak+introspection+guides to (can you clarify what that is... I thought it was a specific post and tried to look for it with no luck lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:25 AM
8

That was crazy! Literally hopped in the seat. That space existed bc she was trying to get as far away from him as possible without making a scene while still being professional and even that he abused and took full advantage of
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:56 PM
38

Ahahaha the madness. I was told “I hate when I compliment you and you say ‘I know’ so I just don’t do it anymore” I was like THATS not why but whatever man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:20 AM
28

Hold on... that song was about her and her relationship?! I don’t follow gossip on them much but wow...that’s... smh she’s locked in that marriage it seems
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:44 AM
88

They’re also warning you...of the future disappoint if you stay. When ever a man has told me I’m too good for them. I never argued, and once we went our separate ways I understood they were right. I appreciate them taking that step because my dating style at that time was: he’s nice and I feel fine talking to him sure i can go on a date with him. The older I’ve gotten the less I’ve gotten that line, but also the better I am getting at narrowing down my criteria for a first date contender. FDS is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:31 AM
127

Wait... is that why lvm don’t compliment us? Because they are projecting onto us how compliments impact them? Leading them to believe that by giving us a compliment, we’ll start to think (and remember) that we can do better Holy crap 🤯 I feel like I’ve read that on here before but it really never sunk in until this moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:31 AM
6

Thank you!! I’m already thinking of what kind of hobbies I want to try and working on making friends in my area (more so bc it’s summer now and covid restrictions have lifted for the most part and I just feel like I need to reacquaint myself with who I am and what I like now that a sense of normalcy is arriving)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:23 AM
10

Love it, thanks for breaking it down for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:38 PM
13

Whoa interesting move, I support you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:12 PM
10

When I read not a team player I LOLd. My LV bf at the moment and his LV brother have said the same thing about me. All it means is I verbally stated a boundary that they found inconvenient and are trying to manipulate me into falling in line. I cannot wait to get out of this and be single and have control of my time space and just everything again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:11 PM
7

The whore bothered me too... I was like... was this for rhyming purposes or...the rest of it was good though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:17 PM
2

What did you do when you were in England?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:26 PM
3

“My gf broke up with me bc of you”/gender wars/I’m looking for my soulmate please respond LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣 those took me out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:59 PM
3

That was a ride, and I looooooved the ending 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:31 AM
6

Omg... that’s literally the only 3 moves mine knows :/ has me wondering if there’s any other moves available bc those 3.... don’t do much :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:16 PM
4

Those are beautiful ☺️ I love normalizing buying flowers for oneself. 💐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 08:54 PM
3

Happy for you!! (The cat emoji was funny haha)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:16 PM
3

How do you know the difference between a nvm and a lvm?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:55 PM
3

How do you determine they have a low body count?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:23 PM
6

He thought you were bluffing, I’d bet money on it. They never think we’ll leave until we actually do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:47 PM
335

I’ve always loved this movie as a child hahaha Jasmine and your tiger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:03 PM
1

Why would he marry the next girl fast while he strung this current one along for 8 years? Bc he wasn’t interested in marriage and is tired of her/got what he could from her and now he’s down to “upgrade” to match his new “lifestyle” ??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:08 AM
1

Omg lmao my LV “bf” deadass went on a rant about how he’s going to have an empire and would I be willing to quit my FULL TIME job to “be my own boss” (aka work for him have him be my boss -_-) bc dreams aren’t made by putting in part time, you have to devote yourself full time (any yet this empire isn’t my damn dream. AND he has NO empire. He’s unemployed. Trying to become a police officer so he can get “respect”) I cannot waaaaiiit to gtfo. My freedom is coming soon. So soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:13 AM
1

I was under the impression that prenups have a general terminology to them as in... what’s mine before marriage is mine should we part (for both parties) But as it is a contract, there could be added language that...makes things difficult for one party?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:09 AM
5

I’m laughing so hard at the “he told me I was mean and I blocked him” Him: it’s normal You: it’s not... Him: yea it is You: you can’t clean it properly like that, that’s not normal Him: you are MEAAAN -blocked-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:21 PM
16

I watched. It starts off with tic toks from a guy spreading horrible advice to other men for ex: don’t take a girl out to Chili’s on the first date, get her in your car go to your crib or the park, anywhere you can play music. If she likes your music she probably likes you. The text her you had a good time. Second date take her to the Cheesecake Factory. Then she’ll let you hit. Then don’t text her. Make her text you first. And how if a girl doesn’t want him that’s fine let him see your Instagra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:07 PM
8

I love this post so much. I’ve already internalized this months ago. (Currently in the process of moving out and breaking up with my LV boyfriend) Through the course of living with him (learned why FDS says do not live with a man unless he’s your husband) I’ve gotten to see more clearly who he is. And it was harder for me to see when I was stressed and anxious (about many things work LV supervisor pos, my weight gain, covid, health anxiety over past medical troubles) but when I finally broke fre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:16 AM
12

She really shouldn’t have him on the title or contribute “financially” to the home... that will burn her later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:35 PM
3

PPD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:25 PM
15

I loved this comment! Especially the hair flick haha 💅🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 07:12 PM
11

Even her glasses I was like wow the style jumped out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:27 PM
30

“He’s patient and she’s chaotic” that says everything we need to know smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 10:43 AM
33

Am I the only one bothered by: “we meal prepped last night and ate Taco Bell tonight” Like...what happened to the meal prep, what was prepped exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 10:42 AM
2

This!!! Such a valid point 👌🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 07:29 PM
5

I fully believe in this theory
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 07:26 PM
11

I love this comment, well said. There’s never an excuse for disrespect and if they can’t communicate like an adult without resorting to childish responses then OP has no need to even glance their way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:39 PM
5

What does that saying mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:35 AM
32

Why are men like this?!!! I fully believe what you’re saying. And I am also so confused as to WHY anyone would DO THAT?! 3 years pretending to be a vegetarian
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:34 AM
2

What does that emoji mean? (Red and blue one)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 08:00 PM
5

I’m not going to tell you how to feel. But I do want to highlight that from what you shared the MAJORITY of individuals you went to for help and possibly a voice of reason HELPED GASLIGHT YOU. It was you, standing against ALL of them. And it’s not liked you walked in expecting opposition you were looking for SUPPORT and that is NOT what you received. It is extremely difficult to stand alone while the voices around you are telling you “you’re wrong” “you’re the villain” etc. and it’s heartbreakin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:56 PM
9

YESSS!!! All of this! I felt the same way. And how he tried to get her to wear HIS signature color on her attire. She changed the black “jacket” to blue... and I was so proud of her standing strong. And did you notice her body language he would try to be physically close to her and she would keep space between them. He would step closer, she would step back. And their first scene together he ORDERS her to come closer and she takes the SMALLEST step possible to heed his order yet respect her desi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:06 AM
9

Yes this!! I binged the show in a day because I didn’t know what it was about and then got into it. And the WHOLE time, Mal was NOT problematic I was impressed and genuinely rooted for him and Alina if it ended up going in a romantic direction (wasn’t sure if there was going to be romance since the plot was mysterious to me and well...she had a LOT of drama going on already without adding a love interest imo) Now... with the Darkling... man it took me a beat to realize that he was expressing int…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:45 AM
9

What does the YouTube not Spotify... signify 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 03:27 AM
2

I really had to look to see if I wrote this, I’m in a similar situation. Except I am not yet at the “moving out” finish line. Viewing apartments fingers crossed I like the newest one. Bc I need my freedom back. I can’t wait to safely enter the break up stage. But until then I’m just trying to take things as they come. Congrats OP!! You are soo right they are never SORRY they just want us to shut up smdh. My lesson also was NEVER live with a man. I’m so glad I found FDS to reinforce my standards …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 09:12 PM
2

How do you... go about that? The he doesn't get to cum until I do thing? (I'm working on being more verbally direct about my thoughts and wants regarding sex... but i'm still a little passive about the whole thing due to limited experience in that area)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:47 AM
2

I sent this meme to my “bf” and he texted back “that’s forsure your clit babe 🤣” what the hell. Fortunately that’s not the case as much as he would like it to be. He isn’t into foreplay bc it’s “too much work” and “takes too long for me to be wet” 🙄 now we have less sex and only when I get enough attention to make it an ok to nice time. I know there’s great sex out there. One day I’ll experience it. Til then I have my vibrator to help me out when I want a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:50 AM
2

Omg this is the most inspiring thing I’ve read. I keep thinking I’ll never find good friends in person. But wow yeah if I get engaged in activities I’m into then maybe. That’s awesome that you have your group of friends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:28 PM
5

You are definitely doing something right. For starters you ended a relationship that wasn’t good for you. That’s big. You put your well being first. That’s amazing. You are taking a step towards bettering your life and deciding what you deserve and want. None of this is easy. Esp when we have so many sources effortlessly working to keep us down and contained. So that those that don’t deserve our time, love and loyalty can reap the rewards from us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 06:09 PM
3

This exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 05:31 PM
77

I second this 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 04:41 PM
100

Thank you for sharing, it’s really nice to hear that a love like that does in fact exist 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 02:57 PM
7

Yesss ALLL of THIS!!! I’ve slowly been realizing the same thing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:23 AM
22

Preach!!! You are upgrading your life and a year from now, 3 years from now I’m sure you’ll be amazed with how far you’ve come!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:55 PM
80

THIS RIGHT HERE 🙌🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:16 AM
89

That they’ll pretend to be who you want in a relationship to “keep” you. And once they feel comfortable you won’t walk they CHANGE. A nice 180 that they act like isn’t any different from how they began. And that they have the nerve to selfish and not be talented in bed but still complain about the need for foreplay because they just want to get it in when their dick demands and foreplay “tAkEs ToO lOnG”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:07 AM
16

Holy crap! When I listened to the judge I was thinking how it was a bit awkward bc the guy is RIGHT there, and how yeah the words are true enough and she needs to hear it, but how if she’s still with that guy and goes home to that guy how ineffective it’ll be bc his words will ruin it so quickly. I did not click that as victim blaming 😳 smh. 🤔 do you think if the judge said something instead about how if the woman ever feels like she can’t do something etc etc that she needs to remember that she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:51 AM
96

When the crowd started clapping, and HE got in on the clapping too 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 09:56 PM
2

So PROUD of YOU!!! Congratulations 🎊 it’s only up from here for you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 08:49 PM
1

I didn’t think about the concept of him being a taker. But the rest that you mentioned I’ve been slowly coming to realize. I spent last month in a limbo state, where I was accepting scraps of kindness from him, trying to give him space but also attempting get what I needed (emotional connection, physical affection, etc) then a light bulb went off. I’m not used to being bothered by ppl to such an extent unless it’s a toxic coworker and it’s a job I’m stuck in for the time being. When it comes to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:39 PM
2

Why do you think that is? That THEY call US needy? Is it projection? My boyfriend is a mommas boy and he has called me needy and clingy. TWO words I never truly associated with myself. Esp with the way my upbringing was, being self sufficient and knowing I can count on myself is extremely important to me. So I figured whoa am I, and asked him to explain. He always struggles to explain why he thinks xyz and it came down to the fact that I want to spend quality time together (clingy) or I would li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:30 PM
21

Wait can you expand on this? What you said really just to hit me as TRUE and just in my face, but it’s a new concept I’m aiming to internalize. Fairly certain my boyfriend has done this to me on many occasions, and I always just thought well shit I need to work harder to figure out how to explain where I’m coming from. My communication has personally improved, but I’m realizing that he’s used the excuse of he just didn’t know/doesn’t understand as a means to escape responsibility. I’ve never enc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:19 PM
5

I LOVE this post so much. This is what my bf is. Hands down. I kept trying to figure it out for the longest time bc he gave me vibes of being a narcissist yet he didn’t seem like the ones I’m used to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:49 PM
1

I LOVE this post so much. I’ve been trying to figure this out for sooo long. This is what my boyfriend is. I always suspected and wondered is he a narcissist (my immediate family is so it would make sense that I landed there) and I thought no bc “hes such a good person” no he’s a fake ass person who plays a role and has no sense of self. Definitely codependent on the low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:46 PM
1

I LOVE this post so much. I’ve been trying to figure this out for sooo long. This is what my boyfriend is. I always suspected and wondered is he a narcissist (my immediate family is so it would make sense that I landed there) and I thought no bc “hes such a good person” no he’s a fake ass person who plays a role and has no sense of self. Definitely codependent on the low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:46 PM
1

I LOVE this post so much. I’ve been trying to figure this out for sooo long. This is what my boyfriend is. I always suspected and wondered is he a narcissist (my immediate family is so it would make sense that I landed there) and I thought no bc “hes such a good person” no he’s a fake ass person who plays a role and has no sense of self. Definitely codependent on the low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:46 PM
4

Omg. Yes. I’m 28 and in my first serious relationship. And it’s been 1.5 years. He has officially started to act up in a way where I realize that this isn’t going to work between us. It’s like the rose colored glasses are off. We live together and I’m saving to move out this summer. But it’s eye opening realizing he doesn’t have empathy for me and will never be able to achieve emotional intimacy. (I’m not a rock star in that area but I can connect and I care) I’ve been reading this sub since las…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:59 PM
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