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sweetestpineapple Archive

View 2 posts and 573 comments by sweetestpineapple on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

I feel bad that men are called creepy for being socially awkward. I’m an extremely awkward woman, but since I’m short and non threatening looking, I get a pass on a lot of my weird behavior like staring off into space and unintentionally staring at someone when I’m zoned out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 01:45 PM
1

Thanks for sharing those resources. I don’t personally think hatred toward any gender is justified even if I understand the reasons behind it, I agree that more resources and outlets are needed and that male victims should be able to talk about their own experiences without automatically being shut down or others assuming negative intent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:41 AM
1

Neither are okay. I’m gonna edit my original comment to make that clearer. I was basically trying to explain that I get why people would believe this particular thing that I don’t believe, but my delivery wasn’t the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 06:00 PM
0

I’m not sure either because I’ve never asked them. I don’t like these jokes in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:16 PM
6

Where did you point out what you think I was doing? When you chose to use the word gaslighting and didn’t explain why? Your answer doesn’t really line up with the question being asked..
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:59 PM
3

Yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:46 PM
3

how is this gaslighting? Because I have a different opinion? I’m open to hearing your answers to the question and changing my mind if they’re persuasive enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:46 PM
13

I don’t think this, but the women I know who do have all been abused or SA’d at some point. Hating men is not a good thing, but I get why some people would avoid/say they hate them to protect themselves if they’ve already been victimized. When people say this on social media, they’re usually just joking or talking about something less serious. It goes too far imo when men get publicly shamed for just being awkward or things they can’t control like dick size/height. But jokingly making an “I hate…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:38 PM
20

Assuming he asked- looks wise, I’d encourage him to exercise regularly if he’s not already doing so and maybe help him with his style or haircut if it’s unflattering. I’d also encourage him to go out regularly, which will help him build up confidence and increase his chances of meeting someone. Online dating sucks now but if he wanted to I’d take some decent photos of him because men tend to take less flattering pics and not know their angles even if they are attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 09:00 PM
1

Offline people care very little about age gaps as long as the other person is attractive to them. Women in their 30’s and 40’s didn’t grow up online with age gap discourse saying it’s bad for an 18 year old to date a 21 year old and were in their teens and 20’s when girlboss feminism and sex positivity were huge things which probably explains their less inhibited attitudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 02:04 PM
–

Approaching women depends on the environment, but I don’t think it’s weird to approach at a bar, club or party. It sucks for introverts that these are the main places where it’s acceptable to approach, but the option IS out there. I actually wouldn’t recommend trying that hard to date in your friend group because it can make things very awkward and rejection usually requires time and distance to get over.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 01:59 PM
–

I don’t feel comfortable being close friends with women who cheat because what’s gonna stop them from trying to homewreck my relationship? Also, if I get to know their partner over time I feel shitty having to keep their secret or being expected to cover them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 02:07 PM
2

I’m not sure why but I’ve personally seen men and women get very different reactions to their preferences. My male friend who only dates Asians has been called out for “yellow fever” multiple times.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 09:19 PM
2

The best body in the world? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:58 PM
1

I’m also skinny fat and have recieved similar advice. The good news is you can focus on exercise alone and not weight loss which imo is much harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:50 PM
3

I mostly agree but it is possible for a woman to be SO creepy about her fetish/preference that it turns people off. Like some of the female weebs on 90 day fiancé or those jubilee videos for an extreme example. Also, men aren’t necessarily that attracted to these women, they just know they don’t have to try because they’ll date pretty much anyone of their “type.” It’s more socially acceptable for a woman to state her fetish/preference openly. I was at a bar last week and my white friend just lou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:41 PM
1

If a guy tells white lies for ANY reason (even people pleasing), I know not to trust him. Not remembering details or changing them when telling the same story is dishonest, so is lying by omission. And before anyone starts, the same applies to women but that’s not the question being asked here. To actually be considered trustworthy, you have to be able to back up your actions and unlearn people pleasing behaviors. Not doing so doesn’t make you a bad person, it just doesn’t make you FULLY honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:36 PM
2

I’ve been brutally honest with my male friends about how they can improve their profiles. I will say, shirtless pics can backfire if you’re out of shape and in that case I’d do an athletic pic, like in the gym mirror, but with your shirt on instead. Showing that you work out is universally attractive, but try to look self aware about it. Also don’t ONLY have shirtless pics.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:33 PM
2

If they’ve literally never been attracted to any other types, it’s probably a fetish imo
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 02:51 PM
3

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 03:28 PM
13

Idk about ratings or “top 5%” but I have dated above average looking guys. If it’s just a hookup, it’s kinda ridiculous to care. For a relationship, that’s an obvious dealbreaker because I’m monogamous. I won’t get into a relationship with a guy who clearly doesn’t want to be exclusive or is extremely secretive. I do check social media and go through following lists and also ask about exes before making things official.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 02:44 PM
2

Fetish? Eh, probably not. Strong preference? Yes. I like being the guy’s actual type, not someone outside his type that he’s willing to settle for. And vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 02:11 PM
0

Maybe they’re not getting enough validation in their own relationship but know better than to actually cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 04:08 PM
3

Q4M: What features or personality traits would a 19-21 BMI woman have to have to NOT be considered attractive to you? Shape, proportions, style, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 06:16 PM
10

People seriously underrate social skills when talking about attractiveness on here. If someone is exceptionally socially awkward then they do have to look like a “Chad” to be successful, but average looking guys with above average social skills never actually do badly irl. A guy having a solid group of friends and not being insecure is attractive to basically everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 06:01 PM
3

I wouldn’t date someone that I’m not sexually attracted to. I actually think my partners have been more attractive than my hookups on average. I understand why some people date for security/financial reasons only and have argued with my female friends over this, but I’m not interested in doing that. It’s a waste of time for both people.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 03:47 PM
6

Just saying hey is a bit awkward, but I see nothing wrong with asking for a drink recommendation. Anyone with baseline politeness will at least answer the question, and if she’s giving one word answers then maybe move on, but if not that’s a decent conversation starter.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 05:09 PM
6

Good! What do your interactions there usually look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 04:58 PM
10

I acknowledge that dating apps are a nightmare now more than ever, and that going out can be just as bad in terms of not meeting people. I’m also aware that not doing these things brings your chances down to zero. If someone is serious about finding a partner or hookups, I’d expect them to check every app daily and message every match and/or respond to every message. If someone is legitimately getting zero matches, then I’d expect them to go out to places where hitting on women is acceptable lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 04:47 PM
1

4-6 are the most concerning. Having a few female friends that I know about, have met, and don’t cross any boundaries is normal and a sign of a healthy social life. But the line has to be drawn somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 01:55 PM
1

Unless it’s extremely over the top, then no. If I’m into/dating a guy and he’s affectionate and romantic, I consider that a plus. I’ve had situations where the love and affection just stopped and it made me so resentful that I ended up losing interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 01:18 PM
1

I’d assume he wasn’t into me and I somehow gave him the ick but he was too polite to say so in person. Or that he was seeing multiple people and liked one of the others more. It would hurt but I’d leave him alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 05:35 PM
2

That makes sense. Thanks for answering.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:27 PM
6

I don’t think anyone thinks men are only into blondes. And it’s commonly accepted that curvy but not obese women are generally seen as pretty too. What would a really unattractive person who’s not overweight look like to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:20 PM
3

Men have a slightly wider range of types than women and are slightly more likely to hookup with someone they’re not fully attracted to. Most of these types are still within the range of conventionally attractive but might include women with different styles or skinny AND slim thick.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:35 PM
–

Yes. Just lie about it and say they live far away or exaggerate your closeness with acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:49 AM
1

Yes. It’s just not something anyone brags about. Other women pity them by default and assume they’re being taken advantage of. Some people have a genuine preference for guys from another country or foreign men in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:47 AM
–

My mostly college educated friends and family judged me at first and said I should have higher standards. The guys themselves either didn’t give a fuck that I was more educated than them or thought it was a positive thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:30 AM
–

What a handsome boy! My cats are my whole world. They’re gonna stay regardless of whether or not I’m in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:40 PM
10

Male gold diggers and users are much more common than people realize. And no, they’re not all “Chads,” they just date much less conventionally desirable women (in looks and mental stability) and get their bills paid for and a roof over their head. I think men’s “would” and “would like to” are separately categories if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 03:12 PM
–

I prefer having one but I don’t think I need one and could probably have a decent life as a single woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 03:58 PM
–

Other guys are embarrassed by his behavior in public and don’t wanna be associated with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 03:57 PM
2

I don’t disagree with the fact that the advantage exists, but what would acknowledging that accomplish? Also, the existence of said advantage and the fact that some men don’t make as much effort as they reasonably could to look better aren’t mutually exclusive. No one’s blaming anyone here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 11:13 PM
5

I’m not quite sure what you mean because men can and do put effort into their appearances, just not to the same extent most of the time. A better haircut might not have as drastic of an effect as makeup, but can still go a long way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 08:31 PM
2

If that’s the case, then by definition she’s either bi or a lesbian, but I really don’t think women recognizing the beauty of other women is the same as being turned on by them. Women are just more selective about their type than men are, which is why most will claim that they rarely see attractive guys. This doesn’t mean she’s not being authentic with her sexual orientation. I just don’t see the connection here at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 03:44 PM
-1

Ah okay, thanks for clarifying. I think when straight women or even some queer women say this, they’re often talking about aesthetic beauty instead of sexual attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 03:21 PM
2

Are you saying women who call other women beautiful should be called gay or bi? I’m confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 02:54 PM
33

Finding someone beautiful is different than finding them sexually attractive. Women generally put more effort into their looks with fashion, hair and makeup. That’s why different “types” of women can be considered beautiful. Straight women admire dedication to beauty routines and aesthetics and are way more likely to notice things like manicures and nice eyebrows. I think women find other women more interesting because they tend to have common interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 12:25 PM
–

I’m one of these people. I don’t think I’m internally homophobic, I just haven’t had romantic feelings for a woman despite being sexually attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 03:16 PM
7

I don’t get male attention irl. I’m not entirely sure why because on paper there’s nothing wrong with the way I look. I’m feminine with long hair, nails done, trendy clothes, and am a size 2-4. I just don’t have anything about me that stands out as hot, and am extremely shy and socially awkward. I have bad posture and can’t dance. I get called cute occasionally, in non nightlife settings. I’ve seen other mid or even worse looking women do just fine, but they’re all super extroverted and know how…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:35 PM
2

Unlike most men, most women wouldn’t consider sleeping with most of their male friends. I personally don’t find either of my two male friends attractive and see them more as brothers than potential hookups or boyfriends. If I were attracted to a close male friend, I’d either date them if they liked me back or distance myself if they didn’t. I’ve tried FWB and situationships before and cannot emotionally handle those.
/r/seduction31/05/24 04:55 PM
–

Not a dealbreaker. I also had behavioral issues as a teen and like to talk about the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 09:44 PM
–

The girl with the split dye is hot imo. Anyway… I used to be friends with a self proclaimed “cuckqueen” who smelled like onions and a pH imbalance. Her boyfriend was pretty musty too. A lot of people in this community are hyper sexual with low or no standards. It attracts people with low self esteem and mental health issues who have trouble with hygiene due to depression or childhood neglect. Not to get too mean, but I think some people get really into certain kinks because vanilla sex with VERY…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 09:16 PM
2

Having passable social skills is the floor. It’s what allows you to get invited to things without your friends finding you embarrassing or to not be seen as a creep by most people. But it doesn’t add anything. Simply being socially acceptable with no personality is pretty boring and forgettable. It’s possible to work on your looks and personality at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:28 PM
21

More bots and OF sellers, worse filtering of preferences or removal of them altogether, tiktok trends of blasting people’s “cringe” (but often harmless) profiles, and more societal distrust of apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:25 PM
–

I wouldn’t say the average woman views herself as a “bad bitch.” The ones that do are super loud about it, and you’re probably noticing them because they’re trying to make an impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:22 PM
16

It’s probably too little too late at this point. I don’t know a single person using dating apps in 2024 that’s getting quality matches and I think the issue is much deeper than who’s messaging first.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:17 PM
–

I’ve never found this funny nor have I heard of other women having this type of humor. I’ve had a handful of guy friends or male relatives joke about being kicked in the balls but that’s about it. And I think literally cutting someone’s dick off is universally seen as abusive. Maybe we’re just on different sides of the internet?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 04:50 PM
–

I don’t love everything about her, but it’s hard to deny her talent. Being able to perform those 3 hour long shows, writing all those songs herself, and being a good (not amazing) singer is pretty impressive. I think most fans including myself can relate to enough of her songs and tune out the rest, or don’t really care about who she dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 12:35 AM
45

No to all of those. Nor have my conventionally attractive friends. I don’t think this type of thing happens to people who aren’t also public figures, or at least influencers, unless they’re actual 10’s (super rare) and live in a major city.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 12:26 AM
2

I’ve only not believed one person, due to the fact that she changed her story multiple times. In high school, she claimed to have been assaulted by both a popular football player and the gayest guy in school. She would also lie about having consensual sex with people well into adulthood. But aside from extreme pathological liars, I have no reason not to believe the vast majority of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 02:40 PM
–

Yeah, there are very few occasions where being friends with an ex is okay (like having dated briefly in high school for example), and prioritizing them over your actual partner is never okay. I don’t wanna speculate on whether or not he was actually abusive, but I do feel like that’s used as an excuse somewhat often to trick the current partner into thinking there’s nothing to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:38 PM
–

He was good looking, liked to go on actual dates, interesting, and very affectionate. I didn’t know about this “best friend” til about 2 months in when I’d already developed strong feelings. What I really think happened was that she had romantic feelings for him and was available since they were practically neighbors, while I lived 2 hours away.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:35 PM
–

Thank you I appreciate that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:30 PM
–

My ex cheated on me with his girl bestie so it’s a bit of a sore spot for me. I’m okay with female friends, even close ones, but these friends must be capable of respecting normal relationship boundaries and vice versa. I shouldn’t be called a “jealous bitch” for not wanting my boyfriend to change in front of a female friend or look at her nudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:16 PM
–

Whatever the equivalent of a lower middle class income is for their specific area, or above. Anything less, and it’s hard to maintain a relationship while struggling to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:12 PM
–

My standards: -must like cats -5’8 or above -not overly religious -not conservative (apolitical or moderate is fine) -no girl best friend -healthy BMI and somewhat active
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:08 PM
1

Avoid dating or hooking up with women with severe, untreated/poorly managed mental health issues like BPD. Especially if they also have a significant social media following. I had a friend with BPD who accused EVERY ex partner of abuse in some form, often through name dropping on social media. She never pursued any legal action, but caused significant social harm to several people who simply didn’t like her back.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 12:08 PM
2

🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 12:05 AM
3

Literally no one thinks that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 11:22 PM
2

Just gonna downvote this and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 11:20 PM
6

If said 20 year olds want him back, then yeah I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:27 PM
4

Validation seeking, particularly on apps. I’ve met a few women who only have dating apps to see how many people are into them. Some straight women even change their settings to “men and women” because it’s seen as a bigger compliment if a lesbian/bi woman thinks they’re hot. This, along with bots, is one of the reasons why dating apps are getting worse every year.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 03:56 PM
36

Maybe 30? By that point she likely will have had 10+ years of dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 03:46 PM
-1

Explain?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 03:58 AM
5

Oh okay. I don’t have a better answer than social media and general bitterness. I have friends who think like this but are probably socially aware enough not to rant about it on a date. It might be funny to make gender jokes online, but they rarely ever land irl. It’s possible to subtly bring up important topics to test for compatibility without dominating the whole convo. Do you mostly date people off apps or people you meet in person? I’d recommend signaling your views in some subtle ways (eas…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:53 PM
4

There are a few possibilities I can think of. One, she could’ve been joking/sarcastic. Some people have edgy senses of humor that are hard to pick up on or vibe with. Another possibility is that she wasn’t feeling you and/or was put off by your views and wanted to give you the ick by presenting herself as more extreme than she actually is. I did this once on a date with a guy who would constantly change the subject to his political views that were essentially the opposite of mine. Or maybe she a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:30 PM
1

This is how a lot of men in the poly community get multiple partners. On a similar note, many women in this community have abysmally low self esteem and are okay with being one of many. Although looks are emphasized a lot on here and in society in general, some men truly do not care and prioritize quantity over quality. I know some below average men with conventionally attractive girlfriends, but these women all have severe mental health issues like BPD and bipolar and have extremely low self es…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 12:02 AM
3

In assuming it’s a choice? Not very, unless he’s exceptionally bad looking, like 400 lbs or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 01:34 AM
1

Past a certain point, yes. My personal preference is a small amount of visible muscle, not the bodybuilder look.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:32 PM
5

I get it because as a mid woman I also get no attention at bars and my hookups have only been from apps. I’ve told people this irl and online and haven’t been believed though. Not receiving validation does suck and I empathize with people who never get hit on or get hit on significantly less than their friends. If a guy only has sex in relationships, I’m probably gonna assume it’s a choice. Most men are socially aware enough not to admit to a woman they’re interested in that they have no game.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:31 PM
-1

It’s a bit suspicious to have no social media presence whatsoever. It’s possible to have private social media accounts that you’re mostly inactive on.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:24 PM
–

Doesn’t matter who it is tbh, just the fact that it’s happening at all is good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 10:06 PM
–

Occasionally yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:18 PM
–

While I’m out? I’ll respond if people message me and maybe post a pic of what I’m drinking on my story but I try to stay off my phone in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:15 PM
–

Slightly more often would do wonders for my self esteem tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:14 PM
–

I’m not sure. My comment wasn’t about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 06:54 PM
–

Not regularly, once in a blue moon. By that I mean 1-3 times a year out of maybe 10-20 nights out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 06:47 PM
–

Yes. I’m not sure what you’re implying, if anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 06:45 PM
0

Although it might seem creepier at first, I think my risk of getting attacked is a bit lower with the 40 year old. He’d likely have better impulse control and mellower hormones. Many people that age have a solid career, family, and relationship that they wouldn’t wanna jeopardize by assaulting someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 06:42 PM
–

Men don’t notice women they’re not attracted to unless they stand out as extremely unattractive. As an average looking woman who goes out somewhat frequently, I regularly see my more attractive friends get hit on every time and my less attractive friends get treated as annoyances while I blend in as completely neutral and get hit on once in a blue moon. People on here seem to think that ANY woman can have her pick of guys with zero effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 06:29 PM
1

I don’t think so. People are entitled to their own preferences, as strict and unrealistic as they may be. I don’t think it’s possible or a good idea to try to negotiate attraction. There probably are some situations where (slightly) expanding your horizons is a good thing. Like being willing to date someone within an hour of you instead of 20 minutes or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 05:33 PM
1

No. That’s shitty behavior regardless of someone’s marital status. If you know someone’s in a relationship and pursue them anyway, you’re just as bad as the cheater imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:27 PM
1

I’d try to get as much information from both sides as possible. Even though I believe the percentage of false accusations is higher than the 2% or whatever if you account for false accusations that don’t get the law involved, I still recognize that the majority of people claiming sexual harassment aren’t lying. And then it just depends on the severity of the harassment. Making a bad joke is much different than spreading someone’s nudes around. Unless it was something like the latter, I’d probabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:25 PM
2

The times I want casual hookups are the times I’m not over an ex. I don’t wanna commit to someone else while my heart’s still broken. The guys I categorize as hookups only are usually also only looking for hookups at the time. Or their living situation is so bad that a relationship would be unsustainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:18 PM
3

Attractive: confident (not arrogant), hard working, generous with his time, affectionate, open minded Unattractive: insecure, lazy, unable to regulate his emotions, not into cuddling/hand holding, judgmental No idea about percentages. I think anyone can improve their personality if they put the time and effort in.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 02:12 PM
–

I wouldn’t date someone I’m not physically attracted to and just hope the attraction develops someday. It’s possible, but unlikely and also unfair to the other person. I’m not gonna waste anyone’s time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 02:05 PM
5

I prefer moderately liberal men. Political orientation matters but I try to be realistic about it. Being pro choice is non negotiable, but I don’t care if a guy has different views on something like guns or taxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 05:23 PM
5

Most people don’t use these things heavily enough for it to be considered false advertising imo. Unless someone spends hours on their makeup every day, makeup usually only enhances features they already have. Shapewear doesn’t change someone’s entire body type. Filters are a bit iffy but it’s also pretty obvious when they’re being used. It’s normal to pick flattering pictures for dating sites and social media. As long as they were taken fairly recently and aren’t drastically different from your …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 04:22 AM
1

Why’s that?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 05:23 PM
1

I wouldn’t consider a two year relationship in my early 20’s to be one that didn’t last. It was actually my second longest relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 05:19 PM
1

If prostitution were legalized tomorrow, the social stigma around paying for sex wouldn’t just vanish. Also, escorts are expensive. Many guys wouldn’t be able to afford them except for many once in a blue moon. Most guys I’ve talked to about this topic are turned off by the fakeness of prostitution and want someone to be genuinely attracted to them. Lots of women consider it a dealbreaker if they find out a guy has ever paid for sex. And I don’t think other men who aren’t complete social outcast…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 05:14 PM
12

Maybe not the top 5%, but I know guys who slay on there. My friend’s ex FWB who lived in the projects and had no job had tinder girls blowing up his phone constantly when they were together. He’s a tall, skinny Dominican guy with tattoos. My brother who isn’t entirely conventionally attractive (5’8, half Asian in the south) but is in a frat went out with different tinder girls in his college town every week til he met his current gf. And according to my friend who’s an army wife, the most medioc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 05:06 PM
3

What makes him a beta bux? And less attractive than my current partner but middle of the road compared to all my exes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 04:11 AM
1

Honestly I think it’s just confusion around bisexuality. Some bi people go through years long phases of only being attracted to one gender at a time. Sexuality can be confusing and sexual and romantic attraction don’t always match up. There are definitely chronically online people who make their sexuality their whole personality though, and these are often the people who get no action irl. I know of a few straight women who make out with other women for attention or agree to threesomes to make t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 09:58 PM
2

I dated a guy like this for almost 2 years. He was great honestly. A little sexually inexperienced but it got much better over the course of our relationship. We dated in our early 20’s and he had only had situationships and one sexual partner before me. He had a very low sex drive and was super into academics so dating wasn’t a huge priority for him. He had lots of friends though and wasn’t socially awkward. I felt more friend vibes than romantic chemistry but we had so much fun together.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 09:51 PM
1

Yeah that’s fine if he has hobbies and is a good person. If I’m the only one working, I’d expect him to do (or hire help with) the housework and childcare.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 03:15 PM
1

If a guy meets my physical criteria, I’m willing to compromise on money and status. Attraction is the most important factor in the beginning and I know instantly if I’m physically attracted to someone or not. As I’ve gotten older I’ve started to care a bit more about money because I’m unwilling to be poor. I grew up upper middle class and will settle for middle middle but won’t go any lower. If a guy makes $50K or more per year that’s fine. My lifestyle dealbreakers are nonmonogamy, drug use, gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 03:08 PM
70

Men have a wider range of people they can potentially become attracted to. An average or plain looking woman that hypes a guy up and supports him can easily become that guy’s crush, especially if he’s not used to female attention. Men also tend to be worse at reading people and might think they’re seeing hints that aren’t there, which could make them believe there’s a possibility there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 03:00 PM
5

Not really. It’s nice when I’m trying to get over a breakup, and even then I only hook up with like 2-3 people before either taking a break from dating or finding a long term relationship. There isn’t much relationship material on these apps. Social media can be helpful if you already know someone or have mutual friends but it’s not really the place to meet tons of random singles.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 10:14 PM
–

Moderate porn use is fine, and masturbation can prevent cancer apparently so I don’t have a problem with it in general. But some things are downright disrespectful like getting off to pictures of an ex or buying someone’s OF that you know irl. Paying for OF in general is a bit of a yellow flag with all the free porn out there. I like the phrase, “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” when it comes to certain fetishes. Poop, vomit, feederism, basically anything exceptionally gross and da…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 09:24 PM
4

Yeah, it’s not a huge deal. I’m also bisexual and have been with women in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 09:13 PM
1

I wasn’t stating my own assumption, just giving an explanation as to why some people view passport bros negatively. Of course there are international relationships where people are on the same level financially or the foreign partner is better off. I personally try to look at individual relationships on a case by case basis. I don’t think comparing living in poverty in a rich country to living in poverty in a poor country is the best comparison because while both situations are terrible, the dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:48 PM
3

It’s not a direct comparison. Finding a woman who lives in abject poverty in a dangerous country and is dating you out of survival is different from a poorer woman in a rich country choosing to date someone who makes more. One situation is clearly a bit more exploitative than the other. To be fair, I think it’s kinda shitty to use people for the money without both people being on board with the arrangement (which does happen somewhat often). People have a negative reaction to passport bros becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 08:33 PM
1

It could be somewhat helpful for those who are slightly strange/socially inept because they can hide behind cultural differences. If you’re a complete loser in your home country though- broke, obese, poor hygiene, no friends- I wouldn’t expect much to change. Many of the countries that people tend to immigrate to the US from have much higher beauty standards and wanting an attractive partner is a pretty universal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 08:26 PM
22

No. They profit off of desperate men staying on those apps and buying the paid versions to increase their chances. Similarly, I’ve heard women saying that Hinge shows them less attractive/compatible matches with the free version vs the paid one. Women I know typically don’t have dating apps “just in case;” they’ll download them when the mood strikes and delete them when they find a partner or want a date from dating. Men I know have the apps and use them passively without really expecting to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 12:21 AM
0

Not much of a difference because they’re both preferences, but both of these things are hard to prove. Plenty of people lie about their “body count,” and it’s commonly understood that paying for sex is a social taboo so it’s probably in people’s (with self awareness) to hide that, at least at the beginning. I personally don’t think either of these are a huge deal, within reason. Going through a ho phase at some point is expected. Cheating on every partner you have is not. A body count of 20-30 i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:12 PM
15

Haha NO, I wish though. I’d say at least half of the “bi/lesbian” girls on dating apps are on there for validation or looking for a third while conveniently not sharing pics of their boyfriends who tend to be way worse looking. Also even if you do establish a talking stage, women tend to be more passive and wait for the other person to make the first move. The dating pool is smaller, and people usually have types. I like feminine women and am also a feminine woman. It gets awkward. I’ve actually…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 09:50 PM
1

My current partner is more attractive than me and our relationship started on social media. In the past, my partners have been a mix of more attractive and less attractive so I’ve never noticed a major difference or mismatch.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:06 PM
1

Positive. Bar, club and party culture is not for everyone. Shy, introverted, and awkward people like myself often feel more comfortable starting things online. It gives people an idea of who’s out there. I started using dating apps at 18 and was actually shocked that some people that I was into found me attractive too since I didn’t fit my high school’s beauty standard and felt disgusting. I’d consider myself a true average looks wise. I’m half Asian, thin but not toned, have no boobs or butt, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:58 PM
1

I purposely wear baggy clothes because I’m insecure about having no butt in the age of recording strangers to make fun of them. I don’t go to the gym but I occasionally work out outside. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with women who are more confident wearing cute workout gear. A lot of people find that motivating and I’d always encourage people to live a healthy lifestyle so if that works, great. I’m also against accusing people of being creeps for accidentally staring or being a bit awkw…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:50 PM
7

Why would someone want someone to date them out of fairness or as an experiment to open their mind to other types of attraction? That sounds like a waste of time on both sides. In terms of fairness, I just wish men and women would be a bit more respectful towards those who don’t meet their preferences and less judgmental of who other people choose to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:33 PM
8

Why do you say men only have one type of attraction? Lots of guys have separate categories for wife material and casual fling material that are based on looks. Men can find women sexually attractive enough but never openly date that “type.” I’ve had exes and guy friends describe the differences between hot and beautiful in great detail.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:29 PM
3

Nervousness that often comes out as giggling, looking away, stealing glances etc. Liking your stories more than once in a short period of time. Finding excuses to make small talk or ask questions (bonus if they seem awkward about it and aren’t usually a talkative person).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 10:52 PM
–

If my friends point out red flags, I try to hear them out. Family too, but they can sometimes be overly critical of smaller flaws. I’ve ignored them in the past and those relationships have always ended badly. I had that early 20’s relationship with a bad boy who everyone hated, but it was not sustainable and looking back I cringe so hard. Sometimes you need people who care about you to tell you that you look fucking dumb. I’m grateful to my loved ones for not enabling that shit show.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 07:28 PM
1

I’ve been hit on by cashiers/service workers a handful of times throughout my life, but these times were all when I was in a relationship with someone else. None of them were creepy, but none of them stood out as attractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:20 PM
2

-multiple paragraph texts before the other person get the chance to respond and as a disproportionate reaction to being slightly upset. -openly cheating on nights out, bachelorettes etc. and expecting their friends to keep their mouths shut AND not judge them. -“I don’t owe his wife/gf loyalty” Ariana Grande ish behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 11:08 PM
1

I think everyone’s being used in this situation for different reasons, but yeah lol I guess..
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 07:33 PM
18

Yes, but it’s way less common. There’s no major social media movement around it, and women who do this don’t really flaunt it because other women judge this kind of behavior pretty harshly. Not necessarily to shame them, but like automatically assuming the guy is using her and making weird assumptions, especially if the woman is older and/or not conventionally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 03:04 AM
1

Isn’t Munchausen pretty rare?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 08:42 PM
2

Possibly. It’s okay to “just” have anxiety or something, but it doesn’t get glamorized in the same way as something rarer like BPD. And some of these accounts actively discourage professional diagnosis for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:29 PM
3

People on tiktok often self diagnose themselves with multiple (often rare) disorders then use them as their whole personality. Sadly this isn’t limited to teens. I have a friend nearing 30 who has done this since she was in elementary school. Once you form a community around your mental illness and make it your whole identity, recovery seems unappealing because then you can no longer relate to these people online. I slightly sympathize because making friends irl is really fucking hard. But pushi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:18 PM
–

In my suburban US town: between 5’7 and 5’11, mild dad bod or slightly scrawny with maybe a small amount of muscle, takes good care of his hygiene and wears popular brands but dresses in a way that doesn’t stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 10:01 PM
–

I’m a bisexual feminist but wouldn’t call myself a man hater lol. My honest answer is that women are just really fucking hard to date. Finding someone I’m into who’s also into me has been pretty impossible so far. Finding a guy to date still takes work but not nearly as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 04:21 PM
1

No, most men are completely neutral to me with an equal balance of good and bad traits across the board. And despite what this sub says, truly average men are able to get relationships and hookups at least occasionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 04:18 PM
2

This could be a reach or not fully related, but women with pretty privilege throwing their mid and unattractive friends under the bus for social points. Like refusing to go out with or post less “aesthetic” friends while using them for errands and emotional support, dating men who make fun of their friends and not defending them against insults, etc. It basically reinforces the idea that plain or ugly looking women deserve to be left out because of their looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 04:13 PM
4

Literally how is this “circlejerking?”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 01:54 AM
–

Ooh okay, that makes sense. I don’t think it does, but it might make someone less likely to wanna commit long term during that time which is usually around the mid 20’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 04:09 PM
–

I kinda agree but I’d expand this to no bf/gf OR short term flings, situationships or hookups. Career and life plan are kinda relevant here, especially for people going to grad school right after college or those who travel for work. I think these types of people are more likely to have the short term things and have an idea of what they’re looking for in a partner and what their physical preferences are by 25 ish.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 03:59 PM
–

I agree that things are harder socially right now, but also think you’re exaggerating a bit. The expectations you’re describing are often expressed by high maintenance people on social media (likely for clickbait). I also grew up in a suburban, upper middle class environment. I work with older millennial and gen x coworkers who are estranged from family members. Maybe for different reasons, but also for seemingly minor disagreements. They’re often part of a bigger pattern of disrespect. I don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 03:55 PM
2

It unfortunately does. I’ve seen this happen to some of my friends and there are plenty of social media posts about women being kept as secrets or their partners/situationships being ashamed of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 03:45 PM
4

…for sex. Men can and do judge women harshly on their looks and refuse to get into relationships with them or make the relationship public for this reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:49 AM
–

I noticed this too. Most redditors are not normal people, no offense. They’re more introverted, chronically online and anxious than normies. The guys that struggle THIS hard to get a relationship…there’s a reason. Either a personality/mental thing or a hygiene/grooming related looks thing. Average guys have a few medium to long term relationships, maybe a hookup here and there, and get married at some point before middle age. Average is a pretty large and generous range.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:09 PM
81

Social media and the judgmental culture we live in. Videos and tweets about “the ick” always get engagement. People are worried about their partners being judged because that reflects negatively on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 04:55 PM
23

I’m anti body shaming for things people can’t control, like height and dick size. I’ve called some of my friends’ preferences for guys over 6’0 unrealistic. I share posts about men’s mental health on my social media pages. The YouTuber Healthy Gamer has some great videos on this which helped me understand the topic a lot more. I often comment about how social awkwardness shouldn’t be seen as creepy or dangerous and am against recording guys in gyms who “stare.” The gym is one of the best resourc…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 04:50 PM
1

I wouldn’t say a lot, but whenever Lizzo does something controversial there’s always the same discourse about how women as a whole are insisting she’s attractive. When it’s really just other people with her body type for the most part.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 03:07 AM
1

Maybe somewhat comparable: hyping up their friend who’s a “great guy” or “a catch” and genuinely wondering why this person can’t get dates, because this friend is socially off putting to women but has no problem getting along with his male friends. The way people used to hype Lizzo up as hot was seen as cringe by most people. I think women quietly ignored her while men got angry at this for some reason. The women that support(ed) her the hardest tended to have similar body types. Some fat activi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 01:54 AM
22

Most people who say this don’t mean it in my experience. If they do, they mean expanding their range to “slightly quirky” at most.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 01:44 AM
1

Coffee. I hate jogging and am very uncoordinated so I look weird when I run, apparently. Walking is fine though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 04:29 AM
5

1-5 years older is fine. Anything more than that and I’d probably say no. I wanna be with someone who’s more or less in the same generation as me so we can relate to each other on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 04:28 AM
2

I have a relaxed attitude towards nudity. I’m pretty sure the first two examples would go against any workplace’s dress code so I’d just sit back and let HR handle it. It’s cringe at worst. For the 3rd one I’m just imagining how short those shorts would have to be to show someone’s actually balls. That seems unsanitary at a place like a gym so I would keep my distance.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 04:26 AM
1

In my experience, women judge their friends’ looks much more than men do, and are more likely to be “embarrassed” by a friend who’s not as conventionally attractive or is a bit weird. They might exclude this friend from nights out and pictures, but keep them around for emotional support. There was twitter discourse a while ago about “aesthetic friends” and it was genuinely disgusting. Guys do this too, but usually for more legitimate reasons like terrible hygiene or extreme social ineptitude, no…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 09:54 PM
1

Loyalty, maintaining basic hygiene and cleanliness standards, making time for him, being a decent listener, and financially contributing to the household if we eventually live together. These things go both ways imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 08:08 PM
2

Everyone settles to some extent. Most people don’t compromise on deal breakers but will accept a few yellow flags if the person also has a few standout qualities. The people who settle big time usually have some major self esteem issues. I rarely see couples with huge gaps in attractiveness irl. I think men will settle for a woman who’s attractive enough but maybe not 100% his type, and would be more than happy with cute instead of hot if they have a great connection otherwise. Women tend to set…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 08:04 PM
1

I’m mostly in the mood for hookups when I’m trying to get over an ex. Then it’s just about who’s in my area on tinder or hinge. I don’t approach guys irl and rarely get approached. When I do, it’s usually by people I’m not interested in. The guys I’ve hooked up with have mostly been somewhat conventionally attractive but a little weird, maybe with an alternative style, from another country, or dealing with financial or mental health issues. I don’t regret any of my hookups. There hasn’t been a t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 01:42 PM
1

I was 17 and wanted to get it over with before I turned 18. It was about halfway through a 4 month relationship where we both only kinda liked each other. I was glad I could check it off my bucket list I guess. We only had sex 3 times and broke up with me, which made me sad but I quickly moved on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 01:36 PM
–

Kissing or anything more, physically. Subscribing to someone you know personally’s OF behind your partner’s back. Having a work wife or “girl best friend.” Not a friendly coworker who happens to be female or a female friend who happens to be a woman, but someone who you’re prioritizing over your partner and refusing to set reasonable boundaries with. Not cheating for me personally: watching porn, going to a strip club, AI girlfriends or VR porn games.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 02:53 AM
1

Their relationship seems healthy and wholesome and I respect it. That being said, I wouldn’t be comfortable being the only one making money. I’m okay with being the breadwinner though. Especially if the guy is as supportive as he seems to be. And anyone who will clean and cook for me is a plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 05:42 PM
–

I’m not really seeing the connection here. No one was upset about not being matched up; it was more of an “I’ll let you know if I find someone who might be interested” type of thing. If anything, the guys were pickier about appearances than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:13 AM
–

Not at all. I love stuff like this. I’ve tried setting up friends and relatives before but so far there hasn’t been a match, usually due to people having very different types.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 12:40 AM
1

It’s somewhat helpful for getting over a breakup and missing the physical contact. I’m usually ready for a relationship again after getting 1-3 hookups out of my system. Hooking up with a stranger can be a turn on if I’m not in the mood for commitment. It usually isn’t as good as relationship sex, but it’s never been terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 12:38 AM
1

what about average people who don’t fit into either category?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 10:24 AM
1

Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 07:41 AM
–

Having preferences is fine. Announcing “no fat girls” on your profile or talking shit about someone’s appearance just makes you a shitty person. No one should date someone out of obligation or pity, but I think we owe each other basic respect. This goes for everyone btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 10:53 PM
3

No lmao. I’m way too awkward for that and pretty average looking, so I assume my looks won’t play a role positively or negatively in how I do at work/in school or whatever. My social media is private for job reasons, so the only people seeing me are friends, acquaintances and family. I try to look my best with makeups and cool but not that revealing outfits, and don’t post thirst traps.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 10:51 PM
2

Yes. When they ask me for relationship advice, I try to be solution oriented and focus on their strong points. I’ve helped male friends make dating profiles and tried to set them up with female friends, but there hasn’t been a match so far. One of my guy friends regularly asks me to check his messages on apps before sending them and sends me screenshots of talking stages to get my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 10:47 PM
5

Not really, unless there’s a huge age gap or major difference in attractiveness. Like obvious sugar daddy/ 90 day fiancé situations. A handful of people I went to school with have foreign partners that they met studying abroad, on vacation or irl. They’re all about the same looks and education wise, and I don’t think anyone finds that weird. The people that date foreigners tend to be slightly strange, maybe into alternative music/styles, slightly introverted and above average in wealth/education…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 10:45 PM
1

Neurodivergence is a huge spectrum. I’ve dated guys with diagnosed ADHD before and it was fine. I had a crush on an autistic woman a few years ago. Idk the best terminology to use, but she masked very well so I didn’t know about it at first. She wasn’t into me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 06:01 PM
2

Work. I’ve been unemployed and it was terrible for me mentally. I can’t imagine myself doing that again before retirement age. Even if I married a wealthy man with an amazing job, life is unpredictable. He could lose his job, become disabled, die, divorce me… I wanna have my own financial stability so I can do alright if needed. I plan to have 1-3 kids in the future, but I’ll still work after maternity leave is up. I have family that would help with childcare and could probably work late afterno…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:52 PM
2

On looks alone? Maybe personal trainers because it’s a job requirement to be in great shape and take good care or yourself. Other than that, the job itself doesn’t matter too much once basic requirements are met. Full time employment, and enough money to be financially independent. I’m not willing to struggle with someone because I was raised very comfortably and am serious about my own career. There are certain jobs that make a man less attractive due to their gross nature like morticians, garb…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:46 PM
1

I just go to gay clubs. I feel less judged for my looks and generally safer and more relaxed there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:39 PM
104

Having values in common is what a lot of if not most people look for in a long term, serious relationship. Tons of women see ultra conservative men as a red flag and won’t date them because of this. What’s more common is more politically active women dating moderate/apolitical men that agree with them on major issues but aren’t as interested in current events or activism.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:36 PM
3

If it’s reconstructive and/or subtle and well done, I think that’s fine and normal. Especially things like hair transplants which can make a major difference. Very obvious plastic surgery kinda weirds me out, and getting several unneeded procedures after fixing the initial problem is a bit of a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 04:07 AM
–

The more famous the singer is, the less I’d care. If it’s some local concert or something, that would be concerning. The chances of it being personal and something happening between them feel too high. If it’s a well known singer who does this all the time with fans, I’d naturally be jealous but I wouldn’t feel threatened in the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 11:16 PM
3

I’m not good at picking up on signals irl unless I’m very clearly being hit on/approached, which happens like 1-3 times a year. I’ve met enough people with “flirty” personalities which makes it hard to tell if someone is actually into me or just extroverted. Most of my relationships have started through social media or dating apps where I didn’t know the guy before meeting him on there or I had no idea he was attracted to me beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 11:12 PM
1

If a guy friend has all these qualities and I’m physically attracted to him, I’ll probably develop feelings for him pretty quickly and consider pursuing things if I’m single at the time. If anything I’d be the one getting friendzoned. The “window of opportunity” wouldn’t really factor in tbh, it might make me assume he’s not into me but wouldn’t reduce my attraction to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 11:49 AM
6

No. I’m monogamous and wouldn’t be happy as a SAHM. A guy being hot and rich doesn’t take away from the pain/trauma of being cheated on regularly. There are plenty of attractive, financially stable guys who also value loyalty.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 11:45 AM
1

No. Demisexuality, like any sexuality on the ace spectrum is pretty rare. Women often choose to wait to act on their sexual attraction due to safety and trust reasons, but that doesn’t mean the attraction was never there. Attraction can develop after getting to know someone, like if they’re not your typical type, but that’s not the same as the inability to feel sexual attraction to someone your not close to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:41 PM
1

No. Most men are not Leo DiCaprio, and most women don’t have these long exaggerated “hoe phases.” In my sluttiest single year, I only slept with 4 people. I know age gap discourse is everywhere rn, but it’s also way overblown. Women typically date men their age or 1-5 years older max, unless there’s an extenuating circumstance or other issues going on. Readiness for a relationship varies person to person. It depends on maturity and experience and also plain luck a lot of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:38 PM
5

Hair pieces give me uncanny valley vibes. I’d rather a guy just rock the bald look than wear a clip in, which also gives off insecure energy. Regardless, I’m not attracted to bald men so it probably wouldn’t work out. If I’m dating a guy for a long time and he starts going bald after a few years, that would be different because we’d already be in love and have a deep connection. Also I’m 5’2 so if a guy was literally wearing 8 inch heels that would be weird as hell. As for the dick, I really don…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 09:55 PM
1

It actually did affect my self esteem a lot in high school as someone who was never hit on and often made fun of for my looks. I saw girls who complained about this as attention seekers. I recognize it as a real safety issue now though, plus cat calling happens to virtually every woman at some point in her life, not just the hot ones. If anything, very unattractive women who also have low self esteem and no experience are more at risk of being taken advantage of. And very attractive women have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 05:56 PM
2

I don’t think so. The blue collar guys that I know don’t seem to struggle as much, probably due to better social skills, being around women who are also not college educated and don’t have that as a dating requirement, and being seen as more masculine. I have multiple degrees and my partner never went to college, but he has an okay job and currently makes more than I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 04:10 PM
4

Both are wrong. Recording people in public for no reason just to make fun of them or for weird sexual reasons is gross, dangerous behavior. I’ll make some exceptions for people who are clearly being harassed or witnessing someone else being verbally or physically attacked. Like SOME of the Karen videos out there. Scale and context matter. Someone having a slight attitude and making a snappy comment in a drive thru is shitty but should probably just be ignored. Someone ranting at a cashier for 5 …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 04:26 PM
11

Exactly what I expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 04:15 PM
–

Talking to guys while out =/= leaving with them to another place while you’re still in the original location without telling you. Interacting with guys =/= coming over your house only to be on the phone with a man the whole time instead. Yes, these are real things that have happened. This has nothing to do with who gets more attention or being controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 06:53 PM
1

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 04:20 AM
4

Agreed, but who’s blaming men for women rejecting men for this reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:35 PM
1

It does, which I’ve already explained, but whether you choose to believe that or not is up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:34 PM
3

I’m not sure tbh. Maybe because I find it easier to romantically connect with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 10:08 PM
5

It’s less commonly REPORTED because it’s less acceptable. As for the fat acceptance movement, I wouldn’t be surprised if it had a minor effect on the amount of fat people out there. It seems like people who join the movement are already fat and might feel more comfortable staying that way now that they have a community around it. I’ve never been overweight or into the health at every size thing so I’m not the best person to ask about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 08:45 PM
51

It’s much less socially acceptable for men to experiment with other men, even in liberal areas. Bisexual men often talk about how being honest about their sexuality has ruined their chances with many otherwise interested women. I believe there are a lot of men who experience attraction to other men or question their sexuality but never act on it for this reason. As a bisexual woman, being into women hasn’t caused any serious issues in my life aside from rude comments here and there. I was able t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 04:03 PM
4

My comment was about prioritizing male validation over your friends when you’re with them, or after having made a commitment to hang out. And I am entitled to a certain amount of time and attention from my friends. I’m entitled to a baseline amount of effort on their part. If they don’t wanna make that effort, I’m not wasting my time on the friendship, which I view as a two way street. If my expectations are too much for them, they have every right to choose not to be my friend. This has nothing…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 11:23 AM
1

True, that definitely sounds unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 06:39 AM
8

To me it’s about killing two birds with one stone. People should have interests and hobbies anyway, and the benefits of having these things also help them find a partner and maintain a healthy relationship. Having friends to talk to is useful because a partner can’t meet 100% of your emotional needs nor should they, and real friends can support through breakups and stuff. Both of these things tend to lead to personal development. I think that being in a healthy relationship can too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 05:43 AM
9

I actually think it’s under used. To me, pick mes prioritize male attention (from a specific men or general validation) over their friends. Like ditching them while going out, cancelling plans, or pursuing a guy you’re interested in or have a history with. Cassie from Euphoria and Ariana Grande are great examples of this. Pick me behavior is more than just “cringe;” it harms other people due to selfishness.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 04:41 AM
17

Get more hobbies. You’ll increase your chance of meeting people and/or have something to do outside your future relationship, and some space is healthy. Be a better friend to other women. Text back, make plans, be a supportive listener. You can meet people through them or with them. A good friend will give you an honest opinion on what needs to be improved on your dating profiles and any red flags in potential matches. Cut down on or quit substance use. It’s unhealthy and attracts the wrong type…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 04:37 AM
3

This is such an unrealistic scenario lol but no, I’m not interested in seeing my man physically fight someone. I think it’s trashy behavior and settings that usually attract that kinda thing in the first place. If some random dude came out of nowhere and started trying to attack him, he could probably defend himself but after that I’d want him to just leave for safety reasons and to avoid legal issues. If it’s more than 2 guys, running is the only smart and realistic option.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 05:01 PM
2

My honest answer? It starts being somewhat weird ~23 and a red flag ~26 Out of college age +1 year. Not having sex in high school is the norm in lots of areas due to a small dating pool, strict parents, simply not being ready. Not having sex in college is less common but not necessarily weird. Some people are just super focused on studying, are in male dominated programs, or literally don’t have time. For people who don’t go to college, the same applies for your first job. For NEETS, no comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 04:54 PM
1

It’s a bit strange to not even have one friend and be a complete loner. Even if it’s your cousin or something. Or coworkers that you occasionally hang out with outside of work. I get that it’s often not your fault though. People move, get into relationships and cut you off, or drift apart for other reasons. I also struggle with friendships and am not nearly as social as I’d like to be. I just think that having absolutely no one to hang out with besides me would put tons of pressure on the relati…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 07:46 AM
–

I think you can adopt some traits of party animals without changing who you are. Most people aren’t strictly introverted or extroverted. Maybe try going out a few more times per year? Knowing some good bars to go to for dates or even with groups is a good idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:02 PM
–

Honestly, yes. I’ve had friends like this. I’m not talking about people with a “body count” of like 15, but in the actual hundreds, going up even while they were in relationships. Extreme cases. These women had severe daddy issues and trauma and I tried to be empathetic to their situations and excuse a lot of their behavior. But since they put male validation above friendships or even my physical safety, it was hard to call these people friends after a while. Like, we’d be going out to bars down…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 07:57 PM
–

Most of these just seem a lot like personal preferences vs reflections on the woman’s character, value or class. I agree with the point about excessive partying/drugs/drinking. It’s not easy to date someone with substance abuse problems or people who prioritize going out over their career and loved ones. But idk what you’d consider “too much.” I think the majority of people like to go out at least a few times a year. And there’s a huge difference between smoking weed sometimes and using hard dru…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 07:48 PM
4

When it comes to strangers, the vast majority of men are completely neutral to me. In the small town that I live and work in, I might see one guy who’s noticeably hot per day as a customer at my job. If I go out to the busy mall in the city, maybe 4-5 noticeably hot guys if I’m there for 1-2 hours. It’s very rare that I’ll find a man “gross looking” unless he has poor hygiene, is morbidly obese, or I know he’s an abusive person. It’s hard to know the “full package” from observations alone or eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 07:42 PM
2

I use “partner” the way people used to use “significant other,” “boyfriend or girlfriend,” etc. simply because it’s shorter and sounds better in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 02:47 PM
–

Potential yellow flag. Like other people said, people can’t control the type of family they’re born into and shouldn’t be blamed for their parents’ actions. At the same time, having unhealed baggage like an absent father can cause problems like anger issues. It can also motivate people to break generational curses and be more present in their kid’s life and careful not to repeat the same mistakes. My dad’s father was extremely physically abusive and absent most of the time, but my dad was always…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 03:55 PM
1

It’s an explanation, not an excuse. Many people cling onto that to avoid taking responsibility for themselves, growing as a person or being open to new ideas. In my family my dad was the only one who worked and we were fine since he had a good job, but if anything were to happen my mom wouldn’t be able to support herself on her own. That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person and personally I don’t agree with her not trying to get even a part time job after all of us were teens/adults. People …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 02:51 PM
–

Woman engaged to a man. I would support him if he lost his job or had to take time off, as long as he got a new job as soon as he was able. Especially if it’s due to an injury or something that’s not his fault. Choosing not to work for an extended period of time is not okay with me though. It’s less about what the job is/how much money he makes and more about being willing to contribute to the household. And yes, his answer would be the same. Throughout the course of our relationship each of us …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 02:19 PM
1

Minimum wage as a waiter. He was a senior in high school and I was a junior.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:21 PM
4

They were both people I met online and hadn’t spoken to in person, and one of them looked very different from the photos (much older) and the other one wouldn’t stop talking about politics and barely let me get a word in. He didn’t make his views known before meeting in person. So half and half I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 05:00 PM
3

It’s trashy. The people I’ve seen do this are usually financially stable too which makes it even worse. I’ve had a few dates where the guy paid and I genuinely wasn’t feeling it, but those were at pizza places and cheap bars so it wasn’t a huge deal. Each of those times I offered to pay half but they said no, and I never led them on after. All of my relationships have been a 50/50 situation more or less, often with me actually paying more. I have no idea if this type of behavior is more prevalen…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 04:23 PM
1

I’ve made the first move in most of my relationships. Not in person, but online over social media or dating apps. I’ve had like 4 LTRs including my current one so it worked out for me personally. I’m shy and not conventionally attractive so I wouldn’t take the risk of approaching in person or buying guys drinks. I don’t see an issue with anyone doing so as long as they accept rejection gracefully, but the risk of humiliation is too high for me. ETA: not all women get approached. Just wanting to …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 07:09 PM
3

Wanting to be with someone who shares your experiences is one thing, but in my experience people who play into this type of trauma Olympics (on the personal level) project the absolute most. Also if someone truly has this much trauma, why do they think a relationship will magically fix it? They need therapy first to work on their victim complex and black and white thinking. Everyone has had bad life experiences to some extent. I’m NOT saying they’re equal (surviving a war is obviously more traum…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:16 PM
3

I do better with people who are more opposite personality wise. I’m book smart, awkward, anxious, and have below average common sense and practical skills. My fiancé has great common sense, knows about important stuff that I find boring such as how cars work, and is mentally healthy. Different interests are fine; we can usually make it work and it’s important to have some space to do our own hobbies and hand out with our own friends. Having similar (enough) values and political views is importan…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:44 PM
1

In my opinion, most women have a more black and white view of what’s attractive to them, while men have a “sliding scale” of attraction. Dating apps allow you to be ruthless and if you have a ton of options, you can pick from the absolute best only. Guys usually don’t have all these options and make more allowances. That doesn’t mean their preferences magically go away or that the guys won’t bring them up at your expense. For example, as someone with no boobs or butt I’ve been encouraged to get …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:32 PM
1

I’ve also had bad experiences with therapists and have been through several until I found one who was helpful. Someone having multiple panic attacks per week mostly likely needs medication at least for the time being and I would gladly help them find a psychiatrist and help make appointments for a regular counselor too. I’ve done this before for several different people in my life. I would not want someone to hide that they were struggling. I brought up the untrained, unqualified therapist point…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:28 PM
0

The question asked about unattractive qualities in others, not myself and I wanted to stay on topic. In case you commented out of genuine confusion, I’ll clarify. Expressing any emotion is fine. Tearing up at sad movies, being angry and yelling that your team lost, etc. are okay. Fighting with me often and yelling at me during every fight in a way that’s not proportionate/appropriate to the situation is not. Arguing with strangers in public for minor mistakes, aka being a “Karen” is also not oka…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 09:13 PM
1

These are unrealistic expectations for most women who aren’t super religious. I did a quick google search, and apparently over 1/3 of millennial and gen z have tattoos. Tattoos haven’t been a sign of delinquency or rebellion in decades. Of course amount, placement and design matter. I also don’t see the issue with drinking in moderation. Male friends can be a red flag if boundaries aren’t respected but simply having them is pretty normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 04:44 PM
–

Have you considered that some people reflect on mistakes they’ve made in the past and form their current opinions based on that experience? Very few people have the same mindset at 20 vs almost 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 03:53 PM
–

again, how?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:40 AM
–

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:38 AM
–

I’m not sure how that would work since I’m in a four year relationship rn
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:35 AM
2

It wouldn’t surprise me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:34 AM
–

I appreciate that and yeah it definitely is. Especially when the other person refuses to get help. I’m not a professional so I have literally no idea what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:33 AM
–

Choosing not to date someone with certain qualities (that can be worked on and changed) based on past experiences =/= hate. I actually really like that quote but unfortunately it doesn’t apply here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:03 AM
–

I wouldn’t wanna be with someone as unstable as I am. I have before and it was scary. Hypocritical or not, it’s my honest answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:01 AM
14

I can see that. Talking about not liking them would make me uncomfortable and give me the ick that would make me not attracted to them probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:58 AM
15

I own cats so it would be off putting to me personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 05:57 AM
4

Understandable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 04:08 AM
3

It’s a bit more nuanced than that. I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone I wasn’t physically attracted to anyway. Learned that lesson and stopped wasting people’s time. Him being WAY over my baseline attractiveness is an added bonus. But I’ve paid more for my ex’s that weren’t attractive than they did for me too. I’m just a giving person. I do the same thing with friends to some extent too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 03:52 AM
45

Unattractive: Bad hygiene, a “well actually” contrarian attitude for the sake of arguing, whiny voice, frequent emotional outbursts, ignorance, not liking cats Attractive: common sense, practical skills, self confidence, being a cat lover, curiosity
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 03:47 AM
2

accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 12:23 AM
5

My current relationship is like this. My fiancé is very conventionally attractive but has always been broke. I’m completely average looking and like to think I have a good personality. My family is well off and we currently live with my extended family. My parents gave him money to buy a car which he really needed to get to work about a year into our relationship. He treats me well and does most of the housework, and I know he’s attracted to me enough. Most would probably see a female 5 and a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 10:59 PM
1

I think a woman has to be significantly fat for it to affect her this greatly. Tons of guys prefer thick women. Women who are just overweight and not obese, or even at the low end of obese don’t seem to have a shortage of options. It depends on where you live and what type you’re into too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 02:06 PM
2

Yes. Most of my relationships have started this way. Whenever I’m single I go through horny phases where I sleep with a few different people over a short period of time and usually end up catching feelings for and dating one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:10 AM
1

At this point in my life, I’d prefer it. I’ve had issues with painful sex for a while and while I can have it, weekly or even a few times a month is good enough. Affection is more important overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 07:13 PM
1

Men don’t have the same chance to experiment with bisexuality without a major stigma attached. I’ve always thought bisexual men were more common than what’s reported for shame reasons. Even in more liberal areas, many women won’t date men who have been with men. It’s also possible for someone to be sexually attracted to men and women but only romantically attracted to women or vice versa. In my case I know I’m sexually attracted to women but I’m not sure about romantically. I just find it hard t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:44 PM
1

I’d be curious but I probably wouldn’t judge. Mostly because it’s pretty uncommon. Most women can find some man to sleep with regardless of looks with dating apps alone. I’m pro sex work and I don’t think using those services makes someone gross or anything. I mean I’ve paid for onlyfans out of curiosity before. Maybe she had trauma around sex or dating, an unusual kink or fetish that she wanted to explore, or wanted casual sex with no possibility of feelings getting involved. I watched a movie …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:35 PM
2

I had an ex who did this when I was 18. I would sometimes need a day to recover after having sex but he’d get whiny and tell me to just take a bunch of Tylenol and do it anyway. I did get the “ick” but I didn’t wanna hurt his feelings. Most of my female friends have had at least one situation like this and it usually happens within relationships but not always.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 01:04 PM
1

No lol they hook up with guys more or less their age in the same college, job or area. The people that date much richer or much older always stand out because it’s not the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 01:00 PM
1

Almost always average or a bit below, except for my pickiest friend. She’s dated a few very attractive guys but hasn’t been with anyone romantically or sexually in like 4 years. Most of the guys my friends get involved with are normal looking but not my personal type. And most of them have said my partner is objectively attractive but not their type.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 12:58 PM
5

I was tempted to agree with you until I watched the video and the girl was clearly super uncomfortable and not receptive to him at all. He stayed way longer than he should’ve; the fact that he didn’t leave after she said “I didn’t say you could sit there” was very weird imo. He dragged the conversation out and it felt forced. This doesn’t make him a bad person with evil intentions, but it does show a concerning lack of awareness on his end. You gotta know when to take the L and respectfully leav…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 04:23 PM
11

Kind of, but I think it has less to do with not being attracted to the “relationship material” guys and more about not wanting to fuck it up. I’ve been on the other side of this as a woman, especially when I was younger. I had multiple guys admit to me that I wasn’t fully their type or that they found me attractive enough, but were with me for my personality or because I’m loyal and I take relationships seriously. Guys give me a chance after I make the first move, or occasionally I’ll get user g…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 11:26 PM
3

I’ve mostly noticed the opposite around me. Most very attractive people just date each other. The attractive guys I know or have seen that are dating less conventionally attractive women are often religious (maybe that has something to do with valuing other things over looks), genuinely have a thing for BBW women, or have some type of fetish but aren’t picky (will date ANY Asian woman regardless of specific features for example).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 01:03 AM
3

-he’s really good at practical things. He helps me with my car, knows how to fix things around the house, and can lift things for me. -he likes to learn about different cultures and parts of the world and speaks multiple languages. -his voice -he helps people in need (paid his mom’s rent when she was sick for example) -he’s pretty confident in himself -we have similar political views
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 05:58 PM
9

That’s an obvious example of getting used. Literally a 90 day fiancé type of situation. I have some self esteem and self awareness so no, I would not stay with this person. Lying about being married previously is an automatic red flag and dealbreaker. His body changing over the course of the relationship or him having hotter exes would be the least of my concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 12:42 AM
–

I was referring to talking shit behind someone’s back, which guys do pretty often. Getting attacked for talking shit to someone’s face is kind of a no brainer, instant karma thing. Obviously most people aren’t gonna do that. The friendship thing is complicated for the reasons you mentioned and others. From what I’ve noticed, women are more likely to have acquaintances that they’ll see once in a blue moon or talk to online.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:35 PM
2

I call my partner a trophy husband as a joke. He technically makes slightly more money than me, but my family is well off compared to his and once I finish my degree I’ll be making more than him. He’s more conventionally attractive, more of a himbo than a fuckboy and has a physically demanding job. He never went to college mostly due to financial reasons, but he’s smart in the ways that I’m not. He isn’t the beauty standard around here, but gets tons of attention when we travel.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:30 PM
2

Generally yes imo. Having like 1-3 well done tattoos gives men enough edge to seem exciting but not so much that they fall into an alternative niche. They can be a good conversation starter, and they give off an adventurous vibe. Having a good style and flattering haircut along with some visible tattoos is a good look on almost anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:24 PM
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Have you never seen a man get jealous or feel threatened and insecure about another guy? That happens all the time. Guys call other guys fuckboys, low wage earners talk shit about richer men with “easy” office jobs, etc. I think women are more direct with their disdain towards other women, but it’s definitely not automatic or universal. Otherwise, the “girlboss” thing, influencers, and celebrity stans wouldn’t be a thing. Also I’m pretty sure women have more friends than men in general. Making f…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:17 PM
–

I’m from a suburb and people here do not socialize outside of very small, closed off groups. It’s too big of a town for everyone to know each other and have the close-knit feel, but not big enough to meet many people you’re truly compatible with. Social awkwardness and loneliness are both major problems in my generation. There are smart, good looking men and women with normal jobs and hobbies who go years between relationships and/or sexual partners and not for lack of trying. The “high school e…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 11:24 PM
4

Yes! They date other weird people and tend to seem happier because they share a lot of the same hobbies. Gamer boys and gamer girls, people who go to anime conventions together, people in the kink community. A lot of these people are average to good looking, but their style is so unconventional that they don’t get mainstream attention by choice. One of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen (thin with a huge butt, covered in tattoos, gothic style) is dating an out of shape gamer dude with unfor…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 01:58 PM
1

Excuse me? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 07:47 PM
1

I wouldn’t know but it’s not that uncommon these days and they do plan to meet at some point but can’t due to financial reasons rn.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 07:47 PM
5

People meet at work and school literally all the time. Yes, even below average people with low paying jobs. Meeting through mutual friends is also extremely common. Dating apps are trash, but social media like Facebook and Instagram are popular ways to connect with people you’re attracted to and vaguely know. That’s how my partner and I started dating. Also lots of more introverted people are in online or long distance relationships. One of my best friends is dating a guy from another state who …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 04:21 PM
2

I never preferred men more that 2-3 years older than me, and I’m willing to date someone 2-3 years younger too. It always just felt weird to date someone way outside my age range, and there’s no shortage of people my own age around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 03:42 PM
1

Legally? Very low. Socially? Higher than people think. This happened to a male friend of mine in high school and it traumatized him for years after.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 02:21 AM
1

Emma stone is way above average though. Also people have different types. Ryan Gosling is the standard for conventional attractiveness, but he’s not my personal type even if he’s an objective 10. I’m not delusional for thinking that just because I’m not an objective 10. People aren’t machines lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 10:05 PM
1

It kinda seems like the other way around a slight majority of the time. I don’t think men who don’t post their gf’s are usually doing it out of malice though, they tend to be less aware of how meaningful it is for us to be publicly claimed. I consider it a red flag when you ask them to post you (once or occasionally) and they say no. Not having a single picture of your SO is sus regardless of gender. Especially if you’re on social media a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 09:58 PM
1

As someone who plans to get married next year, I gotta disagree. Im not anti divorce, but marriage is also not something I take lightly. Chemistry comes and goes based on lots of factors like stress, pregnancy, and loss. A strong relationship can get through those rough times. I wouldn’t agree to a major legal commitment if I wasn’t in it for the long haul. If he gets sick, injured, loses his job, gets in legal trouble (within reason obviously), I’m not going anywhere. Marriage is practical too.…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:24 PM
2

A true, genuine, solid 5. Late 20s, mixed race female. I have some great features, like long and healthy hair, a good eye shape, naturally feminine shoulders, and good legs. I also have some flaws, like a crooked nose, thin lips, small boobs and a flat butt. I know I’m not noticeably ugly because I don’t get harassed for my looks or treated bad for no reason. I also know I’m not noticeably attractive because I don’t benefit from pretty privilege, like having drinks bought for me or getting out o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:55 PM
3

This happens irl. Lots of gremlin looking dudes take advantage of mentally ill and insecure women who are objectively better looking than them. Idk how anyone can be happy knowing they manipulated someone into settling for them but it’s definitely a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:17 AM
2

What kind of jobs do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 09:49 PM
3

Well that hasn’t been my experience. I get that shy men are more often framed as creepy. That’s unfair and judgmental and shouldn’t happen. But shyness and social anxiety absolutely does cause issues, a lot of them, in women. You probably don’t notice because the shy women are not the ones calling attention to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 09:05 PM
3

That’s not even remotely what I said. I was just providing a realistic, common explanation. And threads about women not approaching men being framed as an issue are posted on this sub on a near daily basis, so the “poor woman” thing is untrue, at the very least on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 09:02 PM
3

What do you mean not having any issues? The entire point of my comment was to point out a very common issue that men and women face.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:59 PM
4

Exactly! Also even if they are into you, they might not want to show that interest publicly because their friends might make fun of them for liking the weird girl, the fat girl, the awkward girl, etc. it’s super shitty but it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 07:11 PM
6

I mean, you can’t force people to make the first move if they genuinely don’t want to. This isn’t even a gendered thing, it’s more of an insecurity problem and even a self awareness one. Both things can be true. Receiving compliments is a form of validation, but people are also nervous about giving them for many reasons, including the ones I mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 07:10 PM
25

That’s completely valid but I don’t think its your looks that are the problem. Women don’t flirt in obvious ways most of the time. It’s considered socially unacceptable especially in front of their friends to come onto a stranger in public. If you’re hot enough to have a FWB to go clubbing with, that’s a sign that you’re not a bad looking dude. Also many less conventionally attractive and/or insecure women avoid making the first move because they’re also scared of rejection. Lots of times when g…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 04:12 PM
1

I disagree with that. I would like to date someone who’s had at least a few serious relationships before, like 6 months+. It shows they take commitment seriously. I’m totally fine with even quite a lot of hookups (as long as cheating wasn’t involved), but the line needs to be drawn somewhere. If I were middle aged or older, then I’d be more understanding, but I date people in the 25-30 range rn. I also read that the average person has like 8 partners, so imo I’m being pretty generous. Most peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:29 PM
0

For me, under 2 or over 25 are red flags. I’m in my late 20’s and date people in my age range. At this point, 2 or less partners points to antisocial behavior and someone who doesn’t have enough experience to know what they want. Sleeping with 2 different people provides some variety at least before settling down. Of course there’s some exceptions, like if they broke up with their high school sweetheart in college then had one more relationship for a few years. 25+ would show a lack of commitmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:25 AM
2

Amy Schumer, Seth Rogan. A combination of conventionally attractive traits and flaws, decent personality, wouldn’t stand out on the street but people love them once they get to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:15 AM
8

-anyone in the public eye (hollywood fame, influencers, athletes) because I don’t wanna call that much attention to myself and deal with public scrutiny. -cops. It would be stressful and we would likely have major political differences. -anyone who works in a church or other religious organization/institution. As an atheist I feel like our values would clash. -dog trainers, or any other jobs that involve being around dogs all day. I’m a cat person and I don’t wanna deal with that smell in my hou…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 06:41 PM
1

On the woman’s end: health issues, even mental health ones, like anxiety that can make it physically hard to open up, can cause lots of pain during sex. This can happen at any point of the relationship. Hormonal changes, sometimes birth control related. Lack of hygiene on the guy’s part. Like yes you need to take a shower after work or the gym if you wanna have sex. UTIs and yeast infections are no joke. It can come off as selfish and like they don’t care if you get sick, which ruins the sexual …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 02:11 AM
1

Ngl, as someone who does NOT have her shit together, this sounds like a great trade off. I’d miss sex, but I’m assuming I’d still be able to watch porn and use the best toys money can buy. If not, then it would be tough. I’d still want a romantic relationship though so I’d probably eventually want to date an asexual person.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 10:07 PM
1

Some people have a harder time reading cues than others, and lots of women are used to being hit on in a super direct way. When I was younger and more naive, I hung out with this guy multiple times after work and got drinks with him, but since he never made a sexual move on me I just didn’t consider that he might be into me. Looking back it was pretty obvious though. I know a lot of guys nowadays are concerned about coming off as creepy, which isn’t such a bad thing to be concerned about imo. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 10:01 PM
1

I don’t love going out anymore and someone who’s down to mostly chill at home and occasionally go out, like once a month, would probably be perfect for me at this moment in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 11:14 PM
14

For a relationship, no. I don’t have much patience for kids and I don’t wanna deal with the baby mama who’s inevitable gonna be a part of his life. One of my boundaries is no contact with exes (rare exceptions apply), so it probably wouldn’t work. From my experience, there’s usually some type of situationship going on with the bm and it’s often physical. My friend started hooking up with her baby’s dad on the side even though he’s in a committed relationship and has other children with the new w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 04:06 PM
1

Mixed signals and acting different offline are annoying. Kinda related, women tend to do this when it comes to friendships. They’ll comment on all your posts, keep a text conversation going for weeks, but then act like you’re the weird one for asking to actually hang out in person or agree to it then flake last minute. Now that you mention it, he did make the first move physically. I guess I never looked at it that way because I kinda just assumed it was gonna happen after going to his house at …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 06:37 AM
1

I somewhat agree. Most of the women I know like to be approached and don’t like to make the first move. I don’t love to either, but like I said before, I don’t get approached by my type and would prefer not to be single. I was the one that started flirting by using risqué emojis (I still wasn’t sure if he was attracted to me so that felt safe). In person he started the physical stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 04:41 AM
2

I guess I didn’t wanna come on to strong in case he wasn’t into me. And yeah we worked together back in high school and all the coworkers added each other on Snapchat but we never talked individually until then. Our conversations got flirty/borderline sexual before we hung out in person which ended up being a hookup. We started dating officially after like a month of hooking up and going out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 04:18 AM
3

I’d consider it approaching. He posted a picture from a trip so I just asked how his trip was and the conversation flowed from there. After a few minutes I asked if he wanted to hang out and we made plans. If he had left me on read or given a one word answer, I would’ve backed off of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:34 AM
1

I personally find it strange to start talking about them out of nowhere. It comes off as desperate and icky imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:25 PM
1

Not really, but going out of your way to insult people who don’t meet your standards is. Or expecting other people to share your standards and making fun of them for their different preferences. Talking about your dating preferences for no reason is pretty cringe too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:08 PM
2

None, it’s not something I think about. I’m in a relationship, wear a promise ring and have his picture as my lock screen, plus he visits my work often, so everyone at my job can clearly tell I’m in a relationship. I’m customer service polite to everyone and hate gossip so I don’t see a reason why anyone would be “afraid” or intimidated by me?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:04 PM
4

Not standing up for me when other people are being rude, constantly complaining about his perceived flaws, high pitched screaming when he’s scared (dated a guy that did this and the ick was unbearable), not being a hard worker/choosing to be unemployed. Low paying but difficult jobs are fine. Not treating severe mental illness when they can afford and have access to therapy. Putting down women for their looks, especially women that are more attractive than them. Being super out of shape-can’t he…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:00 PM
7

Yes lol, most women don’t get approached all the time and if they do, it’s not necessarily by their type. I made the first move in my current relationship by commenting on his snapchat story soon after my last breakup. I didn’t expect him to be interested in me, but I decided to try anyway in a casual and non creepy way which gave him the option to leave me on read or continue the conversation. I would probably never approach a guy irl because I’m not conventionally attractive and am easily emba…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 07:50 PM
4

If SHE feels ugly, I must be a 1/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 08:36 PM
2

No. My definition of promiscuous is someone who’s cheated in more than one relationship (preferably never but I’ll allow it if they show genuine remorse and it happened a long time ago), pays for OF or follows ig models (occasional porn with strangers is fine), or has an astronomical body count. Not 5, like some people on here say, but like 50+. I used to date based on looks and it ended badly every time. I’ll take attractive enough if all their other qualities are great and they value loyalty h…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:53 PM
2

This is so true. It starts young too; nowadays lots of malls don’t even let teenagers hang out in groups there. I’m a millennial/genZ cusper and in the mid 2010s, lots of my peers met friends and romantic/hookup partners at the mall who went to nearby schools. Going out is so expensive rn and nightlife, at least in the US is mostly focused on getting as drunk as possible. In other countries I’ve been to this hasn’t been the case. There’s a lot more themed bars, pool/gaming bars and stuff that ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 05:15 AM
14

Resentment over not having the same female experiences as the girls/women around you. Feeling disillusioned from discourse about getting hit on or objectified because it doesn’t seem to happen to you. Being treated as a “duff” by more conventionally attractive female friends. I had this mindset in high school until I started dating around 17/18, and haven’t thought this way in almost a decade. But I follow a 33 year old and a 40 year old on certain social media platforms that are still traumatiz…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:17 PM
–

This is my life as an average woman. I used to want general validation more than anything and feel crushed after going out and rarely getting hit on. Nowadays I’ve gained some perspective and I feel almost lucky to be average. I’ve seen how truly ugly women get treated and it is a world apart from my general invisibleness. Being called ugly unprovoked, never being hit on at all outside the internet (vs a few times a year in my case), people being embarrassed to be seen with you, for example. I’v…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 02:38 AM
3

For a first impression? An attractive voice, smelling good, a nice sense of style, tattoos, a nice smile.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 02:29 AM
5

One that I know of irl with a huge difference. The guy is fit, tall and has a good sense of style. The woman is obese and apple shaped with kind of a cartoon witch looking face and a skin condition. They’re super religious if that matters. I see a lot more slightly mismatched couples. Ugly women with mediocre guys. Like Lena Dunham (no offense) and her husband for example but as normies at the grocery store.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 02:25 AM
1

I find the majority of men okay. I have a specific type that I’m actually attracted to. If I’m not into a guy I don’t usually see him as ugly unless he’s exceptionally bad looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 02:20 AM
1

I’ve seen some women get pretty unhinged after getting rejected. It probably has something to do with the way men tend to reject women and vice versa. Usually when a woman rejects a man, it’s a “hell no,” but men often let women down more gently because they’re not physically repulsed by the girl and maybe would be willing to hook up or they like the attention. My best friend is neurodivergent and went through this with a guy for like a year. He rejected her romantically and never hung out with …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:22 PM
–

It can be interesting to see the most chronically online takes on here and find out how people came to those conclusions. Since I’m out of the dating world my judgement isn’t clouded and I can give me honest opinions on things. I sometimes like to give advice too when I’m in a nice mood.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 09:13 PM
2

I’d probably assume you weren’t looking for anything serious and still wanted to explore your options. Nowadays it seems like people count situationships as valid experience so that probably wouldn’t raise any red flags. I’d see it as a red flag if you brought this topic up right away, or out of nowhere because it comes off as insecure, and there’s not much reassurance a person can give around this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 05:08 PM
2

It’s weird to me too. I want a guy noticeably taller than me (5’2), so 5’8 and up is fine. I have a 5’0 friend who thinks my 5’10 partner is too short lmao. Once a guy reaches a certain height threshold, I don’t care too much about it. A guy that’s like 6’4 would be uncomfortably tall for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:51 PM
1

I’ve noticed this changing a little recently. The Asian bro type seems to do fine with dating. Both of my brothers fit this category; one was in a frat, both played sports in high school and are naturally extroverted. One of them went to collage in the south and still found it easy to date. Also my best friend and I both have Asian dads and white moms. We live in a non diverse suburban area. Chronically online people seem to think that Asian men are either incel math nerds or kpop boys for some …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:46 PM
–

As a thin woman, no. When I was underweight I’d get concerned comments from certain family members and extra praise from others (I’m Asian), but that was about it. I was/am left alone in terms of weight comments. Even though I’m not conventionally attractive, I don’t get regularly harassed and dehumanized like fat women do. On the other hand, my overweight female friends get unsolicited health comments on a regular basis. And just because fat shaming isn’t socially acceptable online anymore, irl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:22 PM
2

I’ve never been overweight or obese but I’m glad that people with those body types have more representation now. It doesn’t affect me at all, but I can imagine that bigger women benefit by having more options and styles to choose from. It kinda makes sense from a marketing standpoint to increase your sizes since most of the population, at least in the US, is overweight or obese, and people wanna know how those clothes will look on them. I don’t think this has had much of an affect on preferences…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 10:14 PM
–

Yup I’ve been saying this. I grew up UMC but most of my friends are working/lower class, have been their whole lives, and none of this ranking shit and weird standards seems to affect them nearly as much. I grew up in a middle to upper middle, 98% white town and the hang ups that people have around how they’re perceived (even having a different style is frowned upon), how the people they’re dating will make them look, etc. don’t exist in any of the more diverse areas I’ve lived in or visited. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 10:10 PM
–

I mostly agree but this leaves out poorer people who can’t afford to fly and make up a significant portion of the population. Also a lot of the women you see in sweats still have on (subtle) makeup, extensions, and have nails and lashes done etc. so there is still some level of time and effort being put into their appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 09:07 PM
2

I agree that most people are fine with their partner not checking ALL of their preferences. But if NONE of those preferences are checked (hair color, eye color, facial features, even style for example), that’s gonna feel pretty bad. I used the example of celebrities because many couples openly discuss celebrity crushes but not crushes they have on people they know or strangers on the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:02 PM
1

What are those?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 03:13 AM
4

From what I’ve seen this isn’t true. I joined my local fb group for the tea and the men on there are usually average or ugly (by society’s standards; to each their own). There’s a lot of middle aged women posting their balding, out of shape husbands. I just scrolled through the most recent posts and the guys are not great looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 11:42 PM
11

I’ve been saying this. Not all women have pretty privilege but like people were saying on the threads from earlier this week, men don’t notice below average or even most “mid” women if were being honest. A lot of unattractive to mid women get settled for (hookups and relationships) only for the guys they’re with to resent them for not being attractive enough. If your man’s celebrity crushes somehow never look like you (even a much better version of you but with similar features), that’s a pretty…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 11:37 PM
3

I was mostly talking about the lack of general validation that subpar women get which men on here don’t seem to acknowledge. It’s true that ugly women can find A man to sleep with them if they put themselves out there, but at least in my and my other conventionally unattractive friends’ experience, it’s mostly just online and the woman has to make the first move. The IRL stuff happens once in a blue moon.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 01:50 PM
12

All around you. They’re the ones who are just.. there. You mentioned noticing the “gross” women, the “1’s,” but if someone is exceptionally bad looking and smelly they’re gonna get noticed in public, for the wrong reasons but still. Those in the 2-5 range are NPCs, the other customers at the grocery store or random people at the mall. You notice them as much as you notice some random dude. They could get attention if they tried, and that attention is mostly just online, because there’s always go…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 04:15 AM
7

Very true. Conventionally unattractive women get ignored by the vast majority of people irl. Getting niche attention online is not comparable to the general validation that those with “pretty privilege” get. I’m probably considered a 4 where I live, and people have been outright hostile toward me for just looking a little different. The highest I’ve ever been rated is a 6, which was by an ex and likely to just not hurt my feelings. Like a female friend ditching me while we were out so she could …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 01:43 AM
3

I agree with all the comments saying blue collar men tend to be more masculine. Their jobs require more street smarts and common sense and it’s probably something that comes naturally to them if they grew up in a blue collar family. They’re more likely to do “edgy” things like get tattoos, drink, party etc because they don’t need to maintain a clean cut image or reputation for their jobs. Working class men and women tend to date each other, and the more attractive people have options across soci…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 12:50 AM
1

Not really anymore unless the woman is in a very desperate situation. Most relationships involve mutual attraction and sharing finances. Very few people can afford to support another person on one income these days, and the upper middle class/rich people I know irl date and marry each other and are both career oriented.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 10:33 PM
1

49-50 kg
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 03:56 PM
4

Minimum income: over $30k (I’m ok with a low paying job as long as they work full time). Min/max weight: I’m awful at guessing men’s weights but somewhere in the average/healthy range and in shape. Min/max height: 5’8 to 6’4 ish. Shallow features: I like dark features and don’t like bald men. Lifting: can carry me (low 100s) if needed. Hand size: don’t care, never noticed. Dick size: not a micropenis, not over 8in.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 03:35 PM
10

I would never give up my cats so he has to at least tolerate them. If not I understand though. I could never date a dog owner because I don’t like dogs. It would definitely be a dealbreaker. I don’t think animals should be forced on people who don’t want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 04:23 AM
2

As an awkward, non conventionally attractive, Asian woman in a small town, I can somewhat relate to what the men on here complain about. I also like the give the perspective of a less desirable woman that often get ignored to break down some of the assumptions that get posted on here. I don’t agree with the vast majority of viewpoints or the other female posters’ experiences but I enjoy reading about them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 04:21 AM
2

I’m 26, and probably 25-33 for a relationship. 22-40 for a hookup. I wouldn’t date someone too young to drink, plus one year to be safe. I find young looking features to be a turnoff anyway. Some older men are attractive and I might hook up with them if I were single but I wouldn’t want a 40 year old boyfriend at my age. I prefer someone who could non creepily hang out with me and my friends, since some of them are in their early 20’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 09:31 PM
1

Looks wise, no. I wouldn’t have sex with someone I wasn’t attracted to, relationship or not. I did that a few times as a teenager before knowing what I was attracted to and having options outside of school and my town but that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 09:26 PM
3

None? I wouldn’t lie to my male friends that I care about. I have given suggestions on easily fixable things like style, photo angles, and cologne though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 08:22 PM
1

I mentioned bars because my cousin who lives in NYC has met most of her hookups and FWB’s that way. She’s in her early 20’s and is very attractive. I personally haven’t done it this way but I wanted to include that perspective anyway. But yeah this probably would not work in my state’s biggest city since people here seem to only go out with friends, coworkers, and people from school and talking to strangers for any reason is considered weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 08:20 PM
4

Talking to people they kinda know or have mutual friends with on social media. Either posting a thirst trap on their story (even just a crop top or something) and hoping someone they’re into will react to it or sliding into a guy’s DM’s. Some people still meet at bars but I’ve noticed that this usually only happens in big enough cities where you won’t see people you know or went to high school with. Most of these people are above average in a city or below average in a small town from what I’ve …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 05:06 PM
3

A picnic in the park sounds like an amazing date. To me the effort matters more than the price. People’s financial situations can change and I’m probably exaggerating but the price of an outing feels like it’s doubled in the last couple of years. I’m fine with going for a hike then getting food at chipotle after. I care more about him wanting to do something with me and being creative enough to find things that are fun and affordable. Also I don’t see why I’d even know what kind of dates he went…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 12:00 AM
6

A few times a year and it’s mostly catcalls when I go into a bigger city. I’m an about average looking WOC in a small town.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 07:11 PM
2

If someone makes it clear that they’re not interested and you refuse to accept that, then it’s creepy regardless of gender. Misunderstandings are a gray area, and being led on for attention or out of awkwardness on the other person’s end happen a lot, again regardless of gender. My female best friend just went through this. One of her guy friends would come visit her at work, play games with her online, and open up about his issues then act like she was a total creep for assuming that maybe he’d…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 05:20 PM
2

I don’t get hit on in person too often but when I do I usually just say thanks but don’t engage and hope they go away. Online I’ll either leave them on read or like the message (I’m in a relationship anyway so even if they were attractive to me I’d do the same). If they’re not being pushy about their attraction to me, I’d have no problem being friends. I’ll only insult people if they start harassing me, ignoring the fact that I’m in a relationship, or some other rude ass behavior. After that the…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 05:14 PM
4

It’s weird for a guy in his late 20’s or older to be into an 18 year old. As a woman in her late 20’s the idea of dating a senior in high school is gross to me. I like the saying “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Obviously people can do whatever they want but this type of dating shouldn’t be encouraged. I know many women who were traumatized from this type of situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 05:15 PM
2

Yup. Saying they love you after 2-3 weeks, introducing you to their family, planning trips with you months in advance. It’s enough “evidence” that they love you that when they ice you out you try to justify it or blame yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:13 PM
1

Men: say they care more about personality and that looks don’t matter. What they mean is that looks don’t matter for sex, but they’re still gonna treat hot women better and somehow have preferences that conform exactly to conventional attractiveness. Women: claim to want a softer, less abusive love but cling onto abusive relationships and make no steps to leave. I have friends in this situation. It’s not their fault; a lot of them can’t leave for financial reasons but are also very much in love/…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:11 PM
–

Bad Bunny, Rege-Jean Page from Bridgerton, Manny Montana from Good Girls, Ariana Grande for some weird reason lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:06 PM
3

A broke man. I say that as an average weight woman. Plenty of men prefer plus size women; very few women if any prefer broke men. Plus being broke affects every aspect of your life and severely limits your options. Being overweight doesn’t have the same limits unless you’re morbidly obese. Losing weight is much easier than moving up financially. I know some comments mentioned the “bad boy” aesthetic of the broke man, but charismatic fuckboys exist in every social class. “Badness” is something el…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:58 PM
1

Date each other. And I don’t mean this in a “lower your standards” way. A person with a similar disability or hardship as you will likely understand your struggles and be able to sympathize and empathize. There are a lot of spaces online to get to know people and at least make friends, which could develop into something more. Being open to long distance relationships might be a good idea too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:50 PM
4

No. Even though my experience as a woman hasn’t been great, I can’t picture myself as a man. I’m a very feminine person and have never once questioned my gender, which I feel grateful for.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 04:51 PM
4

My type: somewhat athletic, small amount of facial hair, good style, some tattoos, mostly men of color. Average height or above, normal to deep voice. I’m bi so I also like alternative emo women but I haven’t had much luck with them. The type that’s into me: older white men or nerdy/gamer anime dudes. The disconnect: probably me being Asian in a 98% white town. I’m on the thin side of average, pretty quiet, and not curvy. Also being socially awkward and having a hard time differentiating between…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:44 PM
8

I agree. The couples I know that stay together (happily) tend to be emotionally stable and average to above average looking. Not saying they don’t have problems like financial issues, but there seems to be a lack of severe mental illness. I include myself in the mentally ill category but am in therapy multiple times a week and doing a lot of work on my own to manage my disorders and can no longer spend as much time with my friends who aren’t working on their issues. Currently being in an unhappy…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 08:06 PM
5

Within reason, yeah. There’s a difference between cock rings and vibrators and actual sex dolls. I just don’t want any uncanny valley vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 04:04 AM
2

Sounds like she has a pretty great life. An above average income with no kids probably means she can travel, pay for small luxuries like spa trips and massages and devote as much energy as she wants to her hobbies. I’m also assuming she’s single by choice and maybe hasn’t met someone who she wouldn’t have to give her lifestyle up for who’s also child free.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 04:06 PM
1

Yes and no. I’m the reason why we have a place to live (with my family) but I don’t do much cleaning or make enough money to save. There’s been times where I’ve earned a bit more than him but we’ve both only had low paying or minimum wage jobs throughout the whole relationship. He currently outearns me though. He does most of the housework and I do most of the errands. I think housing is a huge underrated reason why people stay together. It’s not necessarily a bad thing; we’re genuinely best fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 06:42 PM
2

-brags about using people or getting away with things easily due to her “street smarts” or looks (it’s probably her looks) -has little to no close female friends or complains that women are hard to be around (pick me behavior) -thinks drinking or smoking counts as a hobby -is friends with mean, gossipy people. Your company says a lot about you. -uses trauma to justify shitty behavior. Bonus red flag if the trauma happened ages ago. -is overly concerned with the “trashy male gaze.” This one’s har…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 01:38 PM
1

Probably because life gets in the way. For a lot of people, physical and mental health conditions start in your mid 20’s and make you less likely to want to stay out all night, get drunk all the time, etc. I have a lot of friends who rarely or never drink due to medications.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 02:54 PM
2

Love bombing works on naive and/or emotionally vulnerable people. A naive person won’t realize what’s happening and think it’s normal or healthy. And an emotionally vulnerable person is probably desperate for validation, has attachment issues and low self esteem. Most healthy and experienced people get the ick from love bombing/coming on too strong because once you realize how it works it’s really transparent and comes off as manipulative.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 02:48 PM
1

It depends on the context. I dealt with a “girl best friend” situation in my last relationship where she was always the priority over me. She was clearly into my ex and he claimed to not be into her but there was at the very least emotional cheating going on. I don’t want to control who my partner is friends with, and obviously it take two to cheat. But I’ve rarely ever met a guy who was friends with a woman he wasn’t at least somewhat attracted to unless she was objectively unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 02:07 AM
1

Like you said in your last sentence, as long as there’s food on the table I don’t care. Just not mentioning certain financial things vs actively hiding them are two different things in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 06:21 AM
0

We do but the threshold is higher. I felt that kind of desire the first time I saw my partner years ago. He wasn’t wearing revealing clothes, just his work uniform, but I could see his nice arms and tattoos which were a turn on. I felt the same way when I first saw my ex. I used to have a super high sex drive and when I saw a guy that fit my specific preference I’d start feeling like a dude lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 06:16 AM
3

Lots of affection, cute cats, empathy/listening skills, nice and accepting friends, massage skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 04:38 AM
2

My friend’s boyfriend. They’re in an open, BDSM relationship. He meets mentally ill women on chat rooms and somehow has like 3 women at a time that he sleeps with regularly. This dude is physically gross (has gone weeks without showering, always smells like BO and cigarettes), about average looking, and unemployed. He’s diagnosed with a personality disorder and is a very manipulative person. Other than that I knew a couple fuckboys in college who were hooking up with multiple women at once. I sl…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 09:27 PM
–

Female
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 02:03 PM
1

What is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 05:26 AM
6

That must suck
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 03:51 AM
4

Most of the broke men I know do well with women, but those women are usually also broke, often mentally ill and in the same areas as them. Not all of these guys are attractive, but they have lower inhibitions, are more outgoing, have had to learn good social skills in order to survive. Very attractive broke men tend to attract richer women due to their “bad boy” edge. Especially more sheltered and book smart women who sympathize with their struggles. I was one of these people, and to an extent s…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 03:44 AM
3

I’ve never dated anyone who made enough for it to matter. But if that was the case and we ended up getting married I dont think it would bother me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 02:37 AM
34

It seems accurate. I have two non asexual friends in their 20’s who haven’t had sex. One never has and one hasn’t in 3 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 09:27 PM
12

I honestly couldn’t care less whether or not people have kids or what age they have them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 04:14 AM
4

Strongly leaning towards no. My main reasons are physical, but I also take the state of the world into consideration. My man agrees, and he grew up in a poor country if that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 10:36 PM
0

Nope
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 03:35 AM
1

lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 01:25 AM
2

Yeah I live in the US so that sounds pretty accurate for where I’m at. And no problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 01:24 AM
0

Or just accept that some people’s preferences don’t include you without going on a delusionally exaggerated rant about it? Also not being attracted to someone =/= being disgusted by them. And thanks for telling me I’m a “hypocrite” for not being attracted to a hypothetical 500 pound man. I really needed some humor in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 12:45 AM
1

Probably below 5’7 or 5’8? I’m 5’2 so I just want someone noticeably taller than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 12:39 AM
2

That’s just my personal preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 11:27 PM
3

Yeah this is pretty true. None of the issues discussed on here seem to apply to people in general offline. I have a minimum wage job in a shitty small town and almost everyone there, regardless of looks, is in a relationship or has been in one recently. People date others in similar situations and close proximity to them. People their own age and more or less in their own league. I don’t know a single adult virgin who’s isn’t choosing to be one. Even the ugliest dudes I know (short, overweight, …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 08:35 PM
4

Personality: judgmental, non empathetic, not interested in learning about other parts of the world. Conservative political views, especially being anti abortion. Insecurity, self hatred, self pity etc. Looks: below average height, unhealthy body weight (under or over), poor grooming, lack of style or noticeably bad style. Career: unemployed or something like a cop/military guy in most cases. Other than that I don’t care. Lifestyle: overly religious, into hard drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 05:40 PM
3

In person? Awkwardly laugh and maybe say than you but just walk away. I’m already extremely attracted to my partner so another attractive guy existing won’t affect that. I don’t know about texting because I wouldn’t just give my number out like that. Liking my pictures on Instagram is fine since I’m public anyway, but I’d leave them on read if they asked me to do stuff because I respect my man. If he tried to hit me up often I’d block him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:28 PM
1

When did I mention Chad? And again, people who are less likely to be considered for relationships are those considered BELOW average.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 10:02 PM
2

They have highER standards for relationships, not necessarily high ones. And idk, from what I see out in public, people deemed exceptionally “ugly” by society, what you might consider 1’s and 2’s, end up dating each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 07:34 PM
2

Get a flattering haircut, have a sense of style, start working out if you don’t already. Work on genuinely improving your confidence and self esteem because that can really affect your vibe, and people can pick up on that. That’s just my general advice since idk you personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 01:12 PM
1

I personally agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 01:58 AM
2

I wasn’t talking about average women in my comments. I was talking about below average, objectively unattractive women still being seen as fuckable by many men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 01:57 AM
7

Attraction can and does grow, but there has to be something there to start with for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 11:51 PM
2

Because most men are willing to fuck “below average” women but their standards for dating are closer to the average range or above in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 11:50 PM
8

Yeah. Personally, I find the majority of men unattractive TO ME, and a small percentage of men noticeably “ugly.” My female friends and I tend to be picky when it comes to types. Not everyone’s type is “Chad” either. But the threshold for a man to be considered attractive is much higher than having a dick, showering often and not being horribly out of shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 10:40 PM
7

I agree. My man and I had a conversation about this recently. For sex, his standards are much lower than his standards for relationships. For a lot of guys “fuckable” just means somewhat hygienic, somewhat feminine looking, and not morbidly obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 10:36 PM
1

To me, no. If we haven’t made a commitment to each other yet then there’s no reason to assume we’re exclusive. It’s not weird to hook up with a few different people around the same time and see if something develops from that. That’s how most of my relationships have started.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 08:00 PM
1

Yes. Attraction works differently for everyone. I’m just speaking from my own personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 07:55 PM
1

There’s no way for me to know for sure but I would assume so since we’re a little older now and have probably had enough experience to discover our types.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 07:53 PM
3

One of the traits that made me attracted to my current partner was his quiet confidence. He’s an introverted person but not socially awkward or insecure. As an anxious and awkward person myself, I really appreciate having someone more grounded.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 07:51 PM
3

Good points. I’m in the US so it’s not exactly the same but close enough to compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 03:49 PM
4

I agree. I don’t think there’s much of a difference in looks (apart from style) between the groups. College is not an easy setting for dating or making friends if you have any type of mental disorder or disability and if the smart dudes are stuck in this environment for 4+ years with a hard major, that doesn’t leave much time for meeting women. And they probably have a lot of catching up to do socially after graduation if that’s the case. Actually all of the unemployed men I know seem to have no…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 03:41 PM
1

yeah, my two “cute” exes both found partners that are better matches for them. One of the gf’s is asexual, the other isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 03:19 PM
1

I’m a woman and my man occasionally watches porn. I watch it a few times a week. Like with most guys, it started as a curiosity thing when he was younger and he watched a lot more of it back then. He’s a younger millennial so he just uses pornhub, xvideos etc instead of only fans or AI stuff. Most guys I’ve talked to watch porn casually when they’re bored and it doesn’t seem to take up too much of their time or energy. I did have one ex who was a little obsessed with porn. He was only into Asian…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 03:00 PM
0

cute= nice, innocent, somewhat young looking or sounding. Usually a really kind person but more of a best friend than a lover. Sexually attractive= exciting, experienced, more “masculine” traits than the cute guy (deeper voice, physically active, taller etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 02:52 PM
10

Yes. Actual raw confidence isn’t this exaggerated, arrogant thing that people on this sub make it out to be. That’s more like putting on a facade rather than just having high self esteem and not having an inferiority complex. But desperation and low self esteem are the least attractive traits in anyone, so if you’re already not blessed in the looks department it’s still worth it to work on that. A lot of women just want a guy who’s attractive ENOUGH, so having a good sense of humor while being a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:54 PM
1

For me personally there needs to be some edginess. I love tattoos for example. I like guys with experience who know what they want in bed and aren’t shy about initiating. They don’t need to be a “bad boy,” but I don’t want someone who always does things by the book and is overly concerned about what people think. Being noticeably taller than me (5’9 ish and up) and not having a high pitched voice, like the guys I mentioned before, makes a difference too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:47 PM
1

Cute is like wholesome, nice, sweet etc. Maybe handsome in a boyish way? I’ve always dated in my age range and some guys look really young until their mid 20’s. So from like 18-21 I dated a few of these guys. But that isn’t what I’m sexually interested in. They were great people, but I’d often question my attraction to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:35 PM
13

In my experience it’s not too accurate. Lower class men working shitty jobs seem to get relationships somewhat easily and have less hang ups and inhibitions. I’ve worked minimum wage food service jobs for years, and only the really awkward guys seem to have no success. A lot of these guys have a “bad boy” edge to them if they’re even a little above average, and get with girls that make more money than them. The rest of them date women “on their level” I guess, who also work at these places or li…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:53 AM
13

The women I know who date men they’re not fully into or into at all are both financially desperate and mentally ill. The rest are single by choice. When I was in high school and for a few years after, I’d date guys I wasn’t completely attracted to because I was insecure about my inexperience or I didn’t know I wasn’t attracted to them. I didn’t know the difference cute and sexually attractive until I had a few different partners. I’m not sure if this is a common experience but I thought I’d shar…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:44 AM
7

Mid 20’s, and idk exactly maybe 15 ish
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:24 AM
11

I’ve had multiple of these phases, usually in between relationships due to heartbreak and/or boredom. They usually last for a few months until I get tired and wanna chill at home and go out less often. They usually involve like 1-4 hookups within that few month period, and sexting with a few other people on apps that I don’t end up meeting up with usually due to distance. After a while the novelty of casual sex kinda wore off and I was more focused on quality. But I’m glad I’ve had enough sexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 11:48 PM
2

Sam because I want someone who’s had enough experience to know what he’s into and not feel like he’s missing out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 11:44 PM
6

“Pick me” behavior and prioritizing male validation over being a good friend. Comparing themselves and others. Excessively insulting the way people look. Having low standards, getting into toxic relationships then getting mad when people tell them they’re obviously being mistreated. Especially when they add kids to the situation. In my experience, women are more racist when it comes to dating. I get that preferences exist, but shaming and stereotyping entire groups of men mostly goes unchecked e…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 06:59 PM
8

Cats are amazing
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 05:49 AM
12

I’m fine with being in a committed relationship, especially for practical reasons, but I don’t want kids now or likely ever. I don’t like babies or children and it’s emotionally draining to pretend to just to not look like a bad person. I’ve been pregnant before and it sucked. I’m grateful that abortion is legal in my area (for now) but if that ever changed I’d travel to get one or KMS if that wasn’t an option. My body is extremely sensitive to hormonal changes, i have no pain tolerance and ment…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 05:40 AM
1

My preference is fit/athletic but it’s more of a plus than a requirement. A bit of visible muscle, especially nice arms, is really attractive imo. I feel bad saying this but stomach fat is a turnoff. The guy in the picture has an unfortunate looking face but he also doesn’t seem to know his angles or what lighting to use and could easily get a better haircut. I think he’s benefit from switching to contacts or at least a different style of glasses. Also clothing choices and one or two pieces of j…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 05:27 AM
3

If it makes them feel more confident, why not? It’s not my business anyway. It would probably be an awkward thing to explain if someone saw and asked about them though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 09:54 PM
1

lol what
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 02:01 PM
1

That’s a good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 02:00 PM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 02:00 PM
5

Yes. I wish my man would open up more. As long as he’s relatively stable, since I’m not, my ideal relationship would include lots of conversations about emotions. My guy is conflict avoidant and pretty stoic which stresses me out because I never know how he’s actually feeling. Also productivity doesn’t really matter to me. Having A full time job, even if it’s not a good one, is good enough. I would want him to take time off if his mental health got bad enough. I was unemployed for months due to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 03:15 AM
4

Try to move to a neutral country or run away with me somewhere. Enjoy our time together knowing the world might end soon. We’ve actually had multiple conversations about not wanting to live through an apocalypse so if the time comes we’ll end it together I guess. I would hope he’d refuse to fight because I don’t want him to get killed and I’d miss him too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 03:42 AM
1

Not necessarily, but the advice we can give is limited. I get why “below average” guys might be frustrated and resentful about the amount of work they have to put in to get any attention. I helped a friend remake his tinder profile and he ended up getting a few matches a week instead of zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 03:29 AM
0

Neither. I’m not religious and wouldn’t want to be with someone who was, unless it was super casual. Having negative views towards homeless people is also a red flag. It shows a lack of empathy which is a huge turn off. I need someone at least left of center both socially and economically.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 04:35 PM
1

Men seem to have a wider range of what they consider attractive. It’s normal for a guy to have multiple types that they’re equally into. As a woman, I’m basically always into the same type of guy. A lot of my friends are the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 03:47 AM
1

Just relationships. My relationships usually start as hookups but before there’s an actual commitment I don’t assume anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 11:34 AM
1

I have anxiety so probably social media? My accounts are all public so if he knew me in person or through mutual friends he could easily slide into my DM’s. Even though I did the approaching in my current relationship, I prefer to be pursued. I’m not used to being hit on in person so idk how I’d react. Not counting cat calls or creeps at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 11:33 AM
1

At the moment my man and I make around the same amount but when we got together I made more and had more money because my parents were still supporting me. I never really prioritized wealth because it didn’t influence attraction for me. I guess I’m kinda like a guy that way. I also grew up UMC but didn’t fit into my community so I guess I was trying to get away from that a little? He’s much more physically attractive than I am but comes from a way less financially stable position. He’s my exact …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 11:21 AM
2

I don’t think this matters to anyone offline. Most people have a history, and most people accept that. Also idk if you realize how easy it is to lie and downplay your “body count” if that even comes up at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 01:39 AM
1

Bad. People are increasingly lonely regardless of gender, but men seem to get less validation from acquaintances and other men, especially on social media. As a woman with an average amount of followers on FB and insta, there’s at least people hyping up stories of my pets or commenting on my stuff even if we wouldn’t hang out in person. For my partner and male friends, their social media interactions are limited to VERY close friends, if any, and maybe family. It seems like it’s easier for guys …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 06:39 PM
11

I used to but my opinion is changing. For context I’ve been in a relationship for years and we both look about the same as when we met. Physical attraction is the most important at the beginning of a relationship when that’s all you have. But when you start to love other aspects of the person looks often become a bonus instead of a requirement. Idk what you consider “out of shape” though and whether or not it’s realistic. Also off topic but why are your friends making excuses for how their wives…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 05:30 AM
2

I think I would. I’m broke and sex has been painful for the past year or so. I went from wanting it every day to having no drive at all. I’d open my relationship so my partner wouldn’t be missing out.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 07:49 AM
5

Not consciously but I’m a socially anxious person so I try to look away whenever I accidentally make eye contact with anyone regardless of their gender. I get that it might look rude but I tend to zone out and stare off into space a lot which can get mistaken for me purposely looking at someone’s face.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:50 PM
2

That’s not true. Lots of people go 50-50 on dates, and sometimes the woman pays. Hanging out and hooking up is also free. Natural attraction without all these weird hang ups is a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:47 PM
1

At first, like nervousness and excitement to see them and more self consciousness. After getting into a relationship the nerves go away and it’s more like a feeling of gratitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:44 PM
8

I agree that there needs to be some baseline attraction but attraction can grow once you get to know someone better. There’s also people out there that don’t prioritize looks. Like I’m sure they wouldn’t wanna be with someone they find gross but they probably wouldn’t have an issue with someone they find average. My best friend is like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 12:53 AM
1

I see the opposite happen a lot in my wider circle of acquaintances. Mentally ill women getting used for a place to stay by lazy or even criminal men. irl I don’t think this issue is as “gendered” as it’s made out to be on here just from personal observations. I’ve only known one woman who successfully got into sugar baby situations. This might be a little off topic from the original point but I thought I’d add it anyway in case someone else noticed this too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 05:15 AM
1

No. I’m secure in my gender identity as a cis woman and have luckily never struggled with that. I have mental health issues that probably wouldn’t translate well across genders and might make me appear dangerous or creepy even though I’m not. As a woman I just seem socially awkward and anxious. It would be nice to feel safer in certain situations like working alone at night and to not have periods but I’m good honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 05:11 AM
2

Not romantically but physically yes. Like coworkers in different departments or certain customers. And occasionally in people I follow online or know about through mutual friends but don’t know/barely know in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 05:05 AM
1

Mutual friends. Lots of women enjoy setting friends up with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 07:08 PM
4

Ok lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 08:45 PM
2

Most guys I know outside the internet have a similar experience
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 08:45 PM
2

Honestly yeah. People at my old job would go out to bars on weekends. Even though they knew I liked to drink and I thought we had a good connection at work they didn’t wanna make space in their existing group.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 05:34 PM
1

I’m Asian lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 05:17 PM
1

No why?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 05:09 PM
3

I agree with the first part, no comment on the second one
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 04:57 PM
13

I was mostly referring to IRL friends but that’s not a bad idea
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 04:57 PM
2

Disagree especially for a long term relationship. Lust and excitement gets you through the door but it doesn’t have to be “toxic.” It can be about good sexual chemistry, sneaking around, going on adventurous/spontaneous dates. Someone can be physically attractive and a good person. It’s not as rare as y’all make it out to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 04:29 PM
7

5’9 or above. Height isn’t super important and I’m short so I just need the guy noticeably taller than me. I like the lean muscle look. Preferably at least one tattoo. Ear and nose piercings are a plus but not a requirement. Athletic and/or somewhat edgy style. A little bit of facial hair. Full lips. I find certain accents really attractive, others not so much. I prefer POC because they tend to understand my experience as a minority better and also for preference reasons. Liking cats is a must. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 04:22 PM
1

For the first few weeks I was talking to other people. He might’ve been too but I’m not sure. I didn’t care too much because I still wasn’t completely over my ex. We had some conversations about wanting something more serious, not seeing other people etc. then made it official after about a month. I chose him because he made an effort to come see me and treated me well, I was really attracted to him and we had a strong sexual connection from the first date. This was a few years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 05:50 AM
1

Nope. I lurk on here and sometimes use this sub as an outlet for my insecurity, but the men on here are just too angry and aggressive. I need someone who’s less chronically online than me and has enough experience with women to date me out of compatibility not desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 06:06 AM
2

I remember feeling bad for being a virgin and wanting to lose it before 18. I had low self esteem and mental health issues and was also extremely immature so my logic was that if I couldn’t find someone willing to fuck me by then I’d be “forever alone.” I was much more into sexting with strangers I met on Omegle and tumblr than actual sex though. My first time hurt so bad I cried.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/22 04:02 PM
1

That’s unfortunate I’m sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:32 PM
35

Most of these people would be considered pretty attractive irl. They’re just not super young and the pics aren’t professional quality. But they look way better than the truly average woman you’d see walking down the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 07:05 PM
2

Honestly yeah but I’m bitter toward everyone in general about this. The way I was treated because of my looks during my formative years was shitty. I’m angry that years of being called ugly for my body proportions and race is invalidated by anyone who hasn’t been in my exact situation. And knowing they’re still thinking it has made my anxiety and paranoia issues much worse. I’m not even successful now, I’m just an adult who has access to the internet and have met people through apps, and rarely …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:54 AM
9

I dated a guy like this. The attraction was there from the start but I confused the anxiety for love and got extremely attached.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:47 AM
1

I don’t even notice unless I’m attracted to the girl. Slight differences in attractiveness isn’t enough to catch my attention in public. The only exceptions are like obvious sugar baby situations or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 03:55 AM
1

The guys I know irl that I’ve talked about this with usually just want a girl to be attractive enough and to meet a certain threshold. Player/more experienced types seem genuinely attracted to more types of women and will say yes to opportunities that expand their range of who they’ll otherwise be attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 07:17 PM
1

10- Megan Fox, Drake 5- Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler 1- Lena Dunham, Danny Devito I tried picking celebrities that everyone would recognize. I’m a bi woman in her 20’s for context. 10’s are like unbelievably attractive people you don’t see every day. 5’s are normal looking people with some flaws that I’m not attracted to but wouldn’t consider ugly either. And 1’s are truly unfortunate looking. It was honestly hardest to find celebrity “5’s” because the vast majority of famous people are way better …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 07:10 PM
1

No, I like being taken care of even in small ways like having the door held for me. It’s only been an issue with one ex who literally wouldn’t let me go anywhere alone because of his anxiety issues. Also I’m pretty honest about my own shortcomings like being physically weak so being seen as capable or strong isn’t that important to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:23 AM
1

Yes. I’m a thin woman who’s below average looking. Even though weight can usually be controlled, it seems to matter less to men than shape. Most guys I know personally need a girl to have a butt and boobs to be attracted to her, and if that comes with a little extra weight it’s fine. Of course some thin women have curves, but boyish/rectangle shaped women are often overlooked.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 04:48 AM
9

In my experience being conventionally unattractive affected me a lot until the end of high school. Younger, more sheltered men are a lot pickier than older guys who tend to be willing to settle for a wide variety of women. Plus they’re more influenced by peer pressure so the couple of times I was someone’s type, they wouldn’t date me and wanted to keep things a secret. My first sexual experiences were online with older men or guys from different countries. Online dating hasn’t been an issue, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 01:14 AM
1

We met at work a few years ago but we were both in relationships at the time. Everyone had everyone on social media so I saw his posts every once in a while and I hit him up after a bad breakup. He’s never had trouble getting girls and when he had a tinder he would get matched and hook up with people pretty easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 03:33 AM
9

A good relationship can improve your life a lot. Some people don’t want a hyper independent life and do better with a partner. And not everyone cares about having a super established job. It’s just a matter of priorities honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 03:21 AM
3

The sexual attraction is usually there at first glance. If he’s not just some stranger and someone I’ll see again I’ll probably fantasize about him. The more I get to know him the stronger that attraction will grow but it’s always there on some level from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 01:07 AM
1

In my experience they don’t work unless one person is prepared to move in the near future. It’s a bad idea if you’re not financially independent, still in school, don’t have a car etc. eventually someone is gonna have a change of heart and it’s heartbreaking for everyone involved to break up when a trip is already booked an paid for.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 03:02 PM
1

Not me being a combination of 1 and 3 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 03:36 AM
1

I didn’t receive any sexual attention from men until after puberty but puberty itself was traumatic for other reasons. It was when my mental illnesses really started showing up. And I was chubby with really bad acne for a few years which made the bullying a lot worse. There was also the awkwardness of having an extremely high sex drive and no outlet for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 03:34 AM
2

For me this is only true on apps or social media. In person I probably wouldn’t approach a guy due to shyness. And I would never make a move on a guy I’m not attracted to, its a waste of time and energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 02:03 AM
1

Not at all honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 12:08 AM
119

I’m bisexual and my boyfriend said I can explore my sexuality with women. And honestly it’s brutal out there. The women I match with on dating sites are either looking for validation, looking for a threesome, or trying to sell their OF. The crushes I’ve had on other bisexual women irl have not once liked me back. I’ve only had 3 hookups with women in the entire decade I’ve been out, 2 of which were threesomes with men I wasn’t attracted to. In college a few girls made out with me for male attent…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 08:53 PM
1

I consider it slightly wrong but not like downright evil. It’s morally neutral if you’re doing it out of desperation/brokenness imo. I personally wouldn’t because I can afford my own food and I don’t like to waste time entertaining guys I’m not into. It would make me feel too guilty. If I wanted to be the guy’s friend but didn’t wanna send the wrong message, I would pay for my own food.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 05:18 PM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:36 AM
3

From men? Somewhat. If I put some effort into dating profiles or flirt with some guys on social media, I can usually get some type of hookup. From women? Lmao I honestly wish I never came out. It’s like 50/50 but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. You can’t really tell until you’re actually in bed with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:17 AM
40

lol as a bi woman I’ve been used by straight women for this a few times
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:12 AM
1

Probably 4 if we’re going by looks and success with women alone? 2 if you count wealth and education. The other guys I’ve slept with were average or below and mostly broke.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 07:37 PM
3

My mommy issues made me extremely insecure and judgmental of myself and others’ looks. I guess that translates into me being a shallow person when it comes to dating and also my inability to believe that anyone is actually attracted to me (they must be with me out of desperation, using me for money etc). Also internalized racism probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 03:05 AM
2

I don’t judge them. I believe that sex work is real work and that it should be normalized but also that those who use it shouldn’t be demonized either. I’m bisexual and have only dated men due to lack of opportunities but I pay for several OF’s. If anything exploring my sexuality has made me realize that women are very hard to date and sympathize more with men. I’ll probably use female prostitutes too as soon as I have the means to travel to Vegas or Europe. My experience is the same as that of …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 06:43 PM
6

I love him and we’re happy together. To me there’s no point in staying with someone you’re not in love with unless it’s for survival.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 06:19 AM
2

They would probably mention something about what they’re doing in life, tattoos and piercings are usually visible, it’s not always easy to notice women checking guys out because we’re more subtle but if he has a decent following on social media and good pictures I’d assume other women notice too, most highly risk averse people don’t go to clubs/bars to meet people or make a move physically, if a guy gives off sexual vibes and knows how to flirt I assume he has a decent sex drive, and after hangi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 08:11 PM
1

-unconventional lifestyle -tattoos and piercings -other women finding him hot -low risk aversion -high sex drive -enough sexual experience to have some interesting stories
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 05:08 PM
5

This is very true. I grew up in a suburban, mostly UMC area and most of us were raised by helicopter parents and lived very sheltered lives. People didn’t really even date or start having sex til like the end of high school. A lot of people can’t socially catch up after missing out on these sexual/relationship formative years. A lot of regular or even attractive guys from this background have high risk aversion and anxiety about talking to women in a casual setting and don’t even try. I’m a woma…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 07:31 AM
1

For me, it’s very binary. I have one type of guy that I’m attracted to and I’ll know if I’m attracted to him right away. I have a high sex drive and don’t usually wait to hook up with someone if it’s mutual. There’s the occasional exception where I’m attracted to someone outside my type but the attraction is still immediately there or nonexistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 10:06 PM
–

The way some men talk about and treat women they aren’t attracted to OR women they’re attracted to who fall outside of conventional attractiveness. You can at least say hi and acknowledge someone then pursue someone else. If your friend gets a girlfriend that you don’t personally consider hot, keep your opinion to yourself. I’m sure women act like this too but I’ve personally seen more outright rudeness and disdain for feelings from men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 10:04 PM
13

-try to go to as many social events as possible. Focus on making friends for your own well-being and social skills but also to meet a bigger variety of women. -put effort into your style. Cool shoes and one piece of jewelry can help you stand out and add to your attractiveness and vibe. -have a (preferable) female friend take good pictures of you. Guys tend to take very unflattering selfies without much variety on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 09:59 PM
2

Worse if it was good because I’ll be missing it after. Most of my one night stands were terrible or meh though and I think we both felt too awkward to talk to each other after.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 09:09 PM
1

The latter because I need validation and I’ll take anything less than the most obvious signs as rejection. If a guy doesn’t respond to my advances I’m not gonna try to force it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 06:02 PM
2

Depends on if I see a relationship developing or just a hookup situation tbh. If someone’s obviously still hung up on their ex then I wouldn’t pursue anything serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 03:20 AM
5

I probably don’t need to, but it definitely helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 02:35 AM
4

I don’t want kids but if I had a son I wouldn’t have him circumcised. It might be slightly more common and acceptable right now, but I think that’s changing. Plus my family likes to over share so I know my brothers aren’t circumcised and neither are most of my cousins. My current partner and most of the men I’ve been with in the past have been uncut. It just seems more natural with no risk for losing sensation or anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:30 PM
–

I’m a woman on the shorter end of average (5’3 ish), and I would like a guy to be at least average height (5’9+). I’ve dated shorter guys (5’5 ish) before but their height was a bit of a turnoff if I’m being completely honest. I don’t care if a guy’s super tall though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 05:03 PM
1

Exactly. Like why do people deny the existence of entire body shapes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 11:49 AM
1

Probably because they don’t see her as a threat. Or maybe they know her personally and know she has self esteem issues and want to support her. Also from personal experience a lot of bi and lesbian women have a wider range of what they consider hot and/or types outside of conventional attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:51 PM
1

Between 2 weeks and 2 months. I’d make it clear I was single on social media and comment on people’s stories, use some apps, and maybe go out if I can find female friends willing to go with me. I’ve never gone to a bar alone but if my current situation ends I’ll probably try it. I don’t like long, drawn out talking stages so I’d try to meet up with the guy that night or at least within the week. I usually hook up with a few guys in between relationships then end up dating one of them after a few…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:24 PM
13

YES. Weight may be in our control but our body type and weight distribution is often genetic and out of our control. As someone who gains in my stomach, arms, thighs and face in that order, I have no tits or ass at any size, and my stomach sticks out unless I’m underweight, even with regular exercise.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:08 PM
1

It would be very hard if not impossible to maintain my attraction to him but I don’t think I’d leave over it. I’d be more concerned about his mental health since he’s been in shape his whole life. If it seems like a permanent change, I honestly don’t know. Maybe I’d be able to overlook it, maybe not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 09:36 PM
1

C- 25 F. I’m able to pass but just barely. My grade is obviously below average but doesn’t stand out as the worst in the class. I never get hit on and have been body shamed enough for it to cause actual trauma but online dating is “extra credit” so I can get disrespectful sex if I look for it myself and relationships with attractive guys in extreme hardship situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 05:39 AM
1

I don’t but a lot of my friends do. I do like their styles though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 05:22 AM
3

If it’s excessive then yeah, but if I’m already attracted and/or committed to a guy occasionally shedding some tears over a sad movie or personal hardship is fine and normal. I’ve been with overly emotional men and it’s just uncomfortable to be around. If a dude breaks down crying once a week that’s not something I can emotionally handle since I have my own issues to deal with. Basically I want the guy to be the strong one compared to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 07:12 PM
0

Already do, and already have. Money doesn’t equal attractiveness to me. I’d prefer if the guy had a job but I’ve dated unemployed guys before and broken up for unrelated reasons. I have a minimum wage job so it would be a little unrealistic to expect someone financially successful. I wouldn’t wanna be with a workaholic even if he made lots of money because I value quality time more. To me dating down is dating someone unattractive, which I wouldn’t do anyway because looks are my top priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 05:56 PM
3

Average height or above, short dark hair with a nice haircut, tan skin, some muscle, tattoos preferred, fuller lips than mine, average to big dick, nice hands. Style and voice are very important too. The physical turnoffs I can think of off the top of my head are baldness, overweight or scrawny, small hands, dick smaller than the low end of average, and long hair on most guys. Certain styles, like the preppy look, aren’t attractive to me. And I also don’t like high pitched voices.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 06:03 PM
2

Yeah I’m one of them tbh. It’s not that makeup and trendy clothes don’t help, but there’s a limit to how much better they can make you look. Having a boyish figure with no butt or boobs at an average weight and being a minority in your town and/or state will make you invisible to mainstream guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 12:47 AM
3

I have. He was cute. We ended up having a pretty great relationship after. Just make sure she’s into you too and matching your energy.
/r/seduction07/01/22 01:12 AM
1

Lack of attraction on one or both sides, inability to keep up with my high sex drive, refusal to give oral, if he pressured me into anal or any fetish involving feet or body fluids.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:31 AM
1

I’m trying to be more honest in my advice to male friends. The only personality factor I focus on is not coming off as insecure and acting more confident. But looks wise it’s kinda hard because beyond like style and grooming tips you can’t tell a guy to lose weight or something without offending them in most situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 08:31 PM
1

If he was paying girls on OF I’d assume he knew them in person somehow and that’s a hard no in my relationships. Regular, free porn with randoms or famous pornstars is fine in moderation. Having a favorite pornstar that’s famous enough to never be a potential threat is fine. I watch porn too so I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 07:44 PM
1

He looks kinda hot in the last two pics but after a certain point too much muscle starts looking weird to me. I like his face and facial hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 06:12 PM
0

Or we’ll know we’re being mistreated but the attraction is too strong for us to have the willpower to leave. Or we wait for them to leave us. This happened to me with my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 10:07 PM
2

It’s helped me understand how bad dating apps are for unattractive men. It’s also made me realize how much of an outlier I am when it comes to dating as a woman. I used to assume women were much more sexual and into casual sex because that’s how I operate but I guess not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 10:00 PM
1

Facial hair looks good on you. I’d recommend growing it out a bit more but not too much
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 09:55 PM
1

Just don’t swipe on them? They literally don’t affect you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 09:00 PM
1

If there’s no mutual attraction and both people have some basic maturity and understanding of boundaries then I don’t see why they can’t. I’m very close friends with one of my ex’s and after we both got over the breakup and dated a few other people we reconnected without any drama. I have had problems with the “girl best friend” in relationships before so I get why some couples wouldn’t wanna risk things but it really just depends on the individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 08:52 PM
1

Good girls are often bored and want a bad boy to help them get out of their shell a little. Bad boys give off masculine and sexual vibes which are exciting. Being a regular, basic, nice guy is fine but it won’t make you stand out from the crowd.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 08:42 PM
1

There’s more opportunities to be a slut in college. Especially for more sheltered girls who might be drinking for the first time or girls who didn’t fit the beauty standards at a small town high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 08:27 PM
1

I hooked up with a “Chad” in college a few times. He was the stereotypical basic, rich white guy with a lot of confidence and a couple girls in his rotation at all times. He actually wasn’t my physical type but when I wanted dick he was always an option and he really didn’t discriminate sexually. Ive met a lot more guys that were like a step down from Chad. Still conventionally attractive with a lot of options and a fuckboi attitude but more lowkey about it and maybe a little more alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 08:25 PM
1

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 08:15 PM
1

As a woman I’d be losing time and some potentially good sex. Not all women like to wait and y’all seem to underestimate how many relationships start as hookups then develop into something more.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 06:35 PM
2

During post breakup Ho phases I don’t really care. I don’t expect anyone to be attracted to me, but when I’m hurt and just want dick apps make it very easy. We’re both going into the hookup/meet up with the same intentions after talking online for a few hours or days. Also the guys I hook up with are usually on the low end of what I consider attractive so I’m not rebounding with chad lol. Some girls are genuinely just looking for casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/21 05:51 PM
1

I don’t really think about them unless they’re trying to get with my partner. From personal experiences and observations sluttiness is usually a phase that doesn’t last too long. The only problem I have is when women who acted “slutty” in the past judge women who are acting slutty now. I might fit some people’s definition of a slut because I sleep with people on the first date and have a few hookups in between relationships. To other people that’s considered normal or tame. I’m a sensitive perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 12:35 AM
2

Both of your examples sound very sexy to me. Money and status don’t impact the raw sexual attraction I feel towards men. If we get along after hooking up I’d totally consider a relationship if they wanted one too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 03:14 AM
10

I think it’s more common to go into a relationship honestly but stay in a dead relationship after losing feelings out of convenience. I have a female friend who’s been doing this for about 3 years now. She lives with her boyfriend’s parents but cheats all the time and openly admits to not being into her bf anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 02:44 AM
1

Big cities are much easier for me. I did not fit the mold of the small town I grew up in and recieved no romantic or sexual attention until I moved when I was 19. I’m a WOC with a boyish figure and alternative/nerdy interests. Cities and even larger, less suburban towns made dating possible and even gave me options.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 12:54 AM
2

It doesn’t make much of a difference. I’m less likely to check out a guy in public if he’s with a girl bc i don’t wanna be disrespectful. If an ugly or meh guy has a super hot gf it says more about her type and priorities than anything to do with him. Honestly I’ve almost never seen a hot guy with a truly ugly gf irl. Maybe at worst a plain or slightly chubby girl who still has some conventionally attractive features. The only true examples of this that I’ve seen are on reality shows like 90 day…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/21 05:06 PM
11

College educated woman here and this is so true. There’s more to talk about with guys from different lifestyles and career paths. Plus these guys tend to be in better shape and look more masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 04:00 PM
3

I’m a woman with a very high libido and I wish it was lower. I always want it more than the person I’m dating and it gets annoying and sad having to wait for it. The feeling of frustration was much worse when I was younger and I think it really impacted my self esteem from like 14 on when no one was into me and I was fully convinced I’d die a virgin. I put myself in risky and sometimes dangerous situations when I’m single just to get dick. I have friends who are abstinent for months or years in …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 10:00 PM
1

Glad I could help!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 04:18 PM
6

This is actually true for me personally. The guys I’ve been the most physically attracted to had the bad boy aesthetic: tattoos, piercings, that casual athletic “fuckboi” style, muscles. Rio from Good Girls is my top celebrity crush LOL. The majority of these guys I’ve been with irl aren’t toxic or too crazy but they have an edge to their look and give off confidence vibes. I was raised extremely sheltered and planned on dating guys who were serious about school, came from similar UMC background…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 01:05 AM
2

I don’t care unless it’s someone he knows personally or if it’s affecting our sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 03:20 PM
0

Mid 20’s female, lost mine at 17 to a short term boyfriend
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 02:01 AM
1

Be attractive (to me) Have similar enough views That’s basically it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 01:57 AM
2

I was pit against a “girl best friend” with my ex. 0/10 would not recommend. Before that I never really competed for a specific man unless you count my teenage years. Back then I was lucky if I found one guy that was interested in me and would often go over a year with no male attention so I had a scarcity mindset and saw every other girl as competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 08:03 PM
2

A touch of it can be hot on the right guy. Nose rings, earrings, silver rings or necklaces and tattoos can add that sexy edge. The clean cut style is a big turnoff for me. Alt girls are my #1 bi fantasy and I’m probably subconsciously more drawn to them because they seem more likely to be into girls. I’m much less picky with girls though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 07:57 PM
3

Looks, style and sometimes voice are what I notice immediately. Lean/muscular body, athletic casual style, tattoos, deep ish voice, certain accents are all things that make a guy stand out as attractive to me. I have a pretty specific type compared to most people
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 04:17 AM
1

Success only would be worse for me. I attract user type men and always get the sense they’re not 100% attracted to me. I’d prefer to have someone desire me as much as I desire them just to know how it feels to be wanted and not tolerated.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/21 06:55 AM
3

All my relationships start as hookups so not really. For me attraction comes first and feelings come second. I have friends who will admit to dating guys to have a place to stay or to not be alone even if they’re not sexually attracted to them but that sounds like a nightmare to me. Good, consistent sex is #1 in a relationship to me. Maybe I think more like a guy in this way idk. I’m also bi and mentally ill so that might have something to do with it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/21 04:30 AM
1

If I no longer have feelings for the person I’m with I’ll give it some thought then leave without looking for a rebound. If I can sense a breakup coming when I wanna stay together or get dumped out of the blue, I’m on the apps the same day to try to numb the pain and look for a rebound. If I’m happy in the relationship I’m not looking for other guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/21 11:41 PM
2

Mid 20’s female here. If you only count hetero PIV it’s like 12 ish, 15-16 if you count oral only or hookups with women. I’ve been in several semi long term relationships and usually hook up with 2-5 people during my single phases before finding a new boyfriend. I would like my boyfriend to have had a decent amount of experience before me. It’s hot to know he doesn’t struggle to get girls and it feels good to know he chose me despite having other options. I don’t care about a specific number tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 06:16 AM
3

As someone whose had an abortion I’m not interested in dating somebody “pro life.” The guys I talk to almost always lean left and either vote Democrat or don’t vote. Once I start talking to a guy I’ll casually mention current events just to gauge where he’s at and get a sense of his stance on the issues that matter most to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 06:07 AM
2

As a hyper sexual woman with a spontaneous drive I agree. I find myself relating to my guy friends when it comes to anything attraction related.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 05:48 AM
3

As a woman looks are the first thing I consider. If a guy doesn’t meet my physical standards I won’t swipe on or message him because I don’t wanna waste anyone’s time. To be fair it took me a while to know my type and up until my mid 20s I would take what I could get due to low self esteem and boredom. This led to intimacy problems in these relationships. Sex is really painful when I’m not turned on. Most of my friends think I’m shallow but it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 05:44 AM
2

Yeah that’s fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/21 12:05 AM
2

I’ve never been asked about my history. It’s come up in conversations in long term relationships but I usually just use 10 as my number and no one’s had a problem with that. So I’ve never had a reason to worry to be honest. And that’s fair, everyone’s entitled to their own standards. I’m just wondering how you’d know about someone’s history in the first place? I can’t think of a non awkward way to ask that. And how would you know the girl wasn’t lying about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 11:44 PM
2

Yes but not for that reason. I’m just hyper sexual and find it impossible to control myself once they make a move. I never expect commitment but sometimes I’ll actually vibe with someone and it happens after a month or so of hooking up. Most of the time I’ll just hook up with someone once or twice and it means nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 10:44 PM
2

Online dating and sometimes regular social media like Facebook and Instagram. I play it safe by responding to a story or something and seeing if that starts a conversation. I’m a very sexual person but I don’t give off that vibe at all in person. Online I’m pretty good at steering the conversation in that direction though. It’s harder in person because my friends don’t usually know guys that I’d be into or vice versa and I’m invisible at bars and clubs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 10:35 PM
1

Yeah I do this. I have a certain type of guy that I like and feel like it’s unfair to pursue guys that I’m not attracted to. But I know I’m not good looking myself. The guys I’m into are good looking but not “Chad” level due to the area I live in so most people would see them as like a 6/7. Based on the way I get treated I know I’m far below average. I hope this answers your question.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 10:27 PM
1

If they look fuckable based on their pictures then yes, I’m on tinder during my Ho phases usually after a breakup and am looking for hookups. When I first got started with dating apps I didn’t know my type yet so I would talk to guys that were cute enough but would cancel if they weren’t attractive enough to be worth the risk of meeting up and potentially putting myself in danger. But I usually don’t meet up with guys without FaceTiming or at least calling them first. The voice is a huge factor …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 01:19 PM
1

Nope. I would assume he wasn’t attracted to me or had a low sex drive, both of which would make us incompatible. I have an extremely high sex drive and would want the guy to want to make a move and try to seduce me on the first date. Most of my relationships start with fucking on the first or second date even though I go into it expecting nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/21 01:00 PM
1

It’s a turn off because it gives off insecure vibes and I’m attracted to confidence and self assuredness. I don’t think a guy that I’ve also been interested in has ever been intimidated by me, at least not outwardly so I can’t answer the last part.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 01:18 PM
2

Mocked in his friend groups for sure, but probably not in public unless you’re absolutely hideous, not just below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/21 05:24 PM
2

Almost never, unless you count catcalling maybe once or twice a year. Somewhat. I have to lower my situation standards (drive to the guy’s house, hookup only, etc) but with a wide location range I can usually find a guy whose down. Hell no. I can get hot guys with horrible living situations to date me but I don’t expect to be treated well. I also always have to make the first move. Yes, and im willing to sacrifice financial security, education etc. for it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/21 04:25 PM
1

No, but most guys could benefit from suggestions from their (honest) female friends. There are certain styles that just aren’t sexually appealing or flattering on most people, like cargo shorts, too many bright colors in one outfit, hiking shoes to name a few. But most guys I see out in public wear clothes that look decent on them if they try.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/21 01:44 PM
3

Looking for relationships and hookups online and being the ones to slide into guys DM’s not just on dating apps but other social media. Since we don’t get approached in person and have minimal luck on apps. Women considered ugly by society are sometimes still considered fuckable or datarle even if we’re far from the first choice so an unattractive woman has much more luck shooting her shot than an unattractive dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 04:42 PM
9

Sometimes people pretend to be more attracted to you than they are just to get laid or to have more options. I’m pretty sure I’ve been in that situation but there’s no way to tell because no one’s actually gonna come out and say that they think you’re below them. As for the less attractive guy they might treat you just as bad because they’re resentful that you’re the best he can get. So neither I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/21 08:04 PM
3

A combination of tinder, living in a major city and having low/no standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 11:18 PM
3

23 F 1. Right now, living with my boyfriend so maybe 3-5 times a week? 2. Last year after my last breakup I slept with 6 people in a month, including my current partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 05:18 PM
2

After having more experience I was able to narrow down my niche type and only pursued guys I was very attracted to and not ones I was on the fence about. Some of my early relationships ended because I lost my attraction to men I dated out of desperation after getting noticed by more attractive guys who I previously thought were way out of my league. So yeah I can relate 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/21 01:49 PM
2

-haircut, groomed facial hair -style -cologne and body spray -good hygiene -confidence -good with “manly” things like cars, fixing things etc -some interest in fitness
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/21 01:45 PM
0

Preppy style, lack of tattoos, high pitched voice, high risk aversion
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 05:12 AM
1

I’m a woman in a relationship who tries to do this. Can’t say it’s ever worked, but I sympathize with my romantically/sexually unsuccessful male friends and try to help 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:52 PM
1

As a woman this is true for me personally. Extremely lacking in intelligence might be a turn off after a while though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 05:37 PM
2

Looks first of all. I would not want to date or hook up with someone I wasn’t attracted to, and it’s unfair to both of us to try to force or fake attraction imo. Then sex appeal, which is connected to looks but different. The guy needs to be confident in himself (NOT necessarily arrogant, just not visibly insecure), have some sort of style (I prefer the athletic/casual yet well groomed look), have an appealing voice (not high pitched, and certain accents are more attractive than others), and hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 03:02 PM
2

I mean I smile when I’m embarrassed and kinda look down and attractive people make me nervous so if I don’t have a bitch face afterwards then yes, I was probably checking you out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 12:50 PM
2

Ah okay I get what you’re saying. Maybe it’s possible that this type of checking out goes unnoticed sometimes? Based on the comment about this kinda thing being confusing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 12:48 PM
-2

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 12:31 PM
18

I check guys out all the time. If I’m alone I’ll try to make eye contact then look away, I think they get the message. Why? Because hot people are enjoyable to look at.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 12:25 PM
4

As a woman physical attraction is the #1 factor in dating for me. I won’t even consider a relationship with someone who doesn’t turn me on physically and isn’t my type. This might make me shallow, but I’ve been in long term relationships with people who were just okay or a little ugly (to me) and it always ends with me just seeing them as a friend and breaking their heart. For me emotional attraction comes after but in order to get there, there needs to be a strong physical attraction first.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:44 PM
5

Lol as one of these women I agree. I’ve always dabbled in nerd culture, anime shit, alternative fashion etc. I’m also hyper sexual most of the time and have low self esteem and bipolar. This felt like a call out post at first but it’s accurate, especially the part about self harm, a tendency to do random hookups, and awkwardness. I know a couple other girls like me so you’re definitely onto something here. Just my shitty anecdote but yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 04:35 PM
2

Some of us do. I’m a left leaning college educated woman who only dates broke guys. To be fair I’m not very successful myself and have lots of issues with academia and the culture around it, but I find wealth to be a turn off most of the time. But I doubt that “woke” women with degrees are intentionally snubbing blue collar guys. They’re probably more likely to meet guys in their field, income level etc at school and work or whatever expensive area they happen to live in.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/21 03:23 PM
2

Feeling like or being made to believe that a SO isn’t into me and is just tolerating my ugliness is one of my biggest fears. Unfortunately this has happened before where the guy treats me like I should be grateful that he settled or is resentful that I was all he could get. I think it’s true that men are more visual than women and consider looks a lot more when they decide whether or not to date someone. I get that attraction can grow, but even then they’ll still know that their partner isn’t co…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 09:00 PM
1

In my experience this happens a lot when the woman is below average/ not conventionally attractive and her actions are perceived differently than if a hotter woman acted the same way. Awkward instead of quirky, desperate instead of friendly, weird instead of unique etc. I’ve been accused of trying to eyefuck a guy when I was staring off into space and maybe happened to glance at him at some point. Anyway sorry if this comment is too off topic but I thought I’d give my 2 cents on a slightly diffe…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 11:11 AM
11

23 F, i work in food service so I see a ton of people every day. The vast majority of men I see are just average and blend into the crowd. The only guys that really strike me as ugly are one coworker and a few really unhygienic customers who gross me out with dirty ass fingernails, strong BO, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 02:03 PM
1

my best friend is a serial cheater, one of my friends is in an unhappy marriage where they both cheat on each other, another friend cheated once and felt guilty but still talks to other guys, a friend from HS cheated a lot in the past but hasn’t in a while. The other two have never cheated but one is asexual and has never been in a relationship and the other is very monogamous and rarely dates anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 01:37 PM
1

I usually attract nerdy, slightly older white men or average looking alt girls of any race. I prefer MOC who are somewhat athletic and dress well. Preferably my age or a little older. I find around 50% of women attractive if they put effort into their appearance and are somewhat feminine. I’m mixed Asian if that matters. My style, face, hair etc is pretty cute but because of my weirdly proportioned body with no butt or boobs, I’m no ones goals except for guys with a fetish and low standards. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:26 PM
7

Of the couples I know it’s about 50/50 whether or not the girl or guy is considerably more attractive. I try not to judge but that’s easier said than done. A female acquaintance of mine is 19 with the perfect skinny body and really cute e girl style. She’s also a super sweet person but she has terrible self esteem and mental health issues. Her bf is broke, overweight, friendless and described as rude by everyone who meets him. On the opposite end a conventionally unattractive overweight female f…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 02:51 PM
4

23F. The first two guys I slept with were somewhat serious relationships between 17-19. There was a lot of wondering involved and wanting to experience other people, especially since I had low self esteem and wasn’t particularly attracted to them. I went through a “ho phase” in college for a few months; I only slept with like 4 guys and a few girls before realizing I really just wanted a relationship. I’m for the most part a serial monogamist but between relationships I usually have 1-3 hookups.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 02:34 PM
1

woman here. For immediate attraction: 1) looks. At least average height, somewhat in shape, sense of style, good hygiene. 2) attitude/confidence. No self deprecation, extreme insecurity or resentful attitude towards women. 3) personality. Sure of who he is and has some type of “edge” to him. Preferably someone with a different background with lots of stories to tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 01:14 PM
1

At most a few times a month. Most guys in the small town/ general area I live in aren’t exactly my type. I don’t really go out but every once in a while someone will catch my attention at a store or something and I try to keep as much distance between us as possible because of my anxiety
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 02:48 AM
2

I would wonder why but I wouldn’t necessarily be disappointed. I plan on becoming a little more stable before having kids so unless some type of major hardship happens, my daughter probably wouldn’t be doing it out of financial desperation. One of my friends was a sex worker and she said her decision was based on being extremely poor at the time and the trauma/abuse she went through that kinda broke her. I would feel bad for not protecting my daughter if she chose this path but ultimately I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 10:54 AM
14

I feel gross if I’m the one who makes the effort to drive to the guy’s house for some most likely mediocre dick and he doesn’t offer to let me stay over or makes it really clear he wants me to leave ASAP.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 10:47 AM
2

Other bisexual woman here and this is so true. I have one very specific type of man and the rest don’t do it for me, but when it comes to women I’m attracted to a much larger range. No idea why but it’s definitely a thing,
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 10:06 PM
2

We were both in the middle of college in different countries and neither of us had the money to see each other more than maybe twice a year. After the honeymoon phase wore off, the distance became too much to handle since any chance of ending the LDR was years down the road.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 09:27 PM
4

23F and none. I don’t base my relationships around external factors even if they’re extremely inconvenient. I’m by no means attractive but I live near a major city and tinder exists, so if I wanted casual sex with “hot guys” I could get it. But my current BF is 100% my type and I’m satisfied with him so other guys don’t matter. I made a 5000 mile LDR with my ex last almost 2 years and was happy for most of that. I actually would’ve moved to close the distance if I was older.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 02:02 PM
1

It’s not necessarily cute, but a little bit of nervousness or shyness tends to be a good sign in my experience. I’m not talking about insecurity or self loathing vibes, but I think that mostly confident but kinda quiet and reserved at first is a sign of trustworthiness. If I guy seems super confident and smooth it’s usually because they know what they’re doing a little too well. Yes it might be more seductive and charming, but that’s how you end up with a fuckboy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 06:51 PM
2

1) mostly successful (can get a date in a short period of time if they want to) with a few exceptions. 2)My best female friend (20) who is overweight, has mild disabilities and lives in an abusive home situation has had a few short “relationship” but the guys left her or rejected her after a few weeks or months. She’s still a virgin as far as I know which affects her self esteem. One of my male friends (26) has been in a few long term relationships but almost never gets matches on dating sites w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 04:52 PM
1

I think it’s disrespectful and unnecessary to reach out to an ex like that, and holidays/birthdays can be a convenient excuse to entertain these people under the guise of politeness. If it’s the ex making contact, I would expect any reasonable partner to at least ignore it, and block/delete the person if it’s making their new partner uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 06:15 PM
2

This is very true honestly. It reminds me of when my old roommate told me my then bf was ugly while I was on FaceTime with him and he could hear. Women also rate guys 1-10 all the time in casual conversations and are super harsh about it. Idk if it’s more or less than men though. Some of my friends make fun of me for not preferring white men just because they’re the majority around here. As I get older I’m starting to see how petty and toxic this behavior is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 04:15 PM
2

-physically attractive (in my opinion) -reasonable effort in style, appearance, fitness -loyal and willing to claim me -no “girl best friend” -consistent effort -at least an average sex drive -not conservative -patient with my mental health issues I have flaws that may be considered dealbreakers to some people (mental illness, minimum wage job, meh looks) and I can offer my personality, intelligence/education, high sex drive, acceptance of hardships like being broke or minor problems with the la…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 04:01 AM
1

I think they’re both unrealistic tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 11:40 AM
12

From experience, the guys I know that struggle the most have noticeable resentment toward women and an overall negative attitude. They also tend to be stubborn and react badly when you give them suggestions, even if they asked in the first place. Even if they claim otherwise, their standards are more rigid: smaller age range, less willing to travel a small distance, above average looks/financial requirements (even for ONS).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 04:55 PM
21

Fair game
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:37 PM
2

My personal preference is an athletic/casual style because it tends to be flattering, non pretentious, and usually suggests that a guy’s in decent shape. Certain jewelry like a small chain can really pull an outfit together. There are also certain styles and clothes that turn me off. Preppy looks (vineyard vines,etc), anything too formal, cargo shorts etc, camo print. Anything too serious looking isn’t for me, and I’m not into the country/redneck look either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 08:39 PM
1

Woman here, whenever I’m single I’m not necessarily looking for a relationship and try to do the whole hookup thing but I usually end up falling for someone after a few hookups. Call me a ho but most of my relationships have started with a one night stand that turns into something more. I like to see if we have sexual chemistry before trying something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/20 06:15 PM
2

Personally I don’t care about a guy’s income at all and usually end up in relationships with broke men lol. I make minimum wage despite having college degrees so I’m pretty non judgmental about a guy’s job and financial situation and am self aware enough to not hold guys to a standard I can’t meet. As a broke woman myself I don’t really relate to well off and successful people most of the time. I understand that this isn’t the norm though, and most of my female friends that make the same or less…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/20 08:23 PM
15

Hobbies give you something to talk about and help you become a more interesting person. Even if it’s something I don’t care about it’s good to know that a guy’s passionate about something besides work, which usually isn’t fun to talk about lol. Even just casually being into something makes a big difference imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/20 03:12 PM
4

The woman’s age? That’s a first lol how?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 11:34 AM
1

Woman here, probably gonna be considered an outlier but to me it doesn’t matter at all. Most of the guys I’ve dated or been into were pretty broke, like factory/ fast food workers or even unemployed on govt assistance. Money was never an issue for my family so I guess I never thought about it but growing up in an upper middle class suburb turned me off to certain attitudes and entitlement if that makes sense. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m not successful in life (useless deg…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/20 05:36 PM
7

Lean but muscular body Tattoos/ piercings (not excessive though) Deeper voice, I also love certain accents Athletic style Quiet confidence
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/20 07:36 PM
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