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thiefzer0 Archive

View 3 posts and 84 comments by thiefzer0 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

My two cents... If you're going to give into feelings like u/Gattsama suggests, I would be REALLY careful which feelings you allow to wash over you. One thing I am learning right now and am really focused on - as men we CAN feel just as much as women, but SHOULD we? How can you realistically be stoic, calm, controlled, and in control (as I believe us men should be) if you have chaotic emotional energy running through you? My suggestion? And what I am doing right now? Convert that hurt, sadness, …
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 01:43 AM
1

Ty. I'm trying to leave it alone and be at peace. Work in progress...
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 12:36 AM
1

Ugh I remember that... Soooo many times. Hurts just thinking about it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 01:42 PM
3

Not gonna lie it's been rough. I mean it was kind of nice, the idea of just doing my own thing. But im still recently separated and I think my STBX is seeing another man. I couldn't get the images out of my head of her naked in bed with this other guy smiling and moaning and orgasming in ways I could never make her. Just tore me up, not enough alcohol in the world to get that out of my head. Anyways I'm just glad it's over, never expected to feel that way after I'm making strides getting over he…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 01:31 PM
2

Enjoy yourself! I'm wanting to get back out there more but I'm wanting to resolve the divorce first. Sometimes it hits without me realizing it, that longing ache for my wife. Its like despite everything that happened, I'd gladly go back and be the husband she needs. I've already achieved so much growth... I'm not sure I can really get into another relationship with these feelings dive bombing me when I least expect it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 07:11 PM
13

Is this on top of child support? Cuz she's hitting me for a big ass amount of child support can't imagine stacking alimony on top. Good thing is I don't think she can we werent together long enough I believe and she made more than me for a while. Still didn't stop them for hit me up for 5 months of arrears at my current rate when I just started my job in December. Now I get the honor of paying her $1,400 a month arrears for a window of time when she had stolen my daughter away and not let me see…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 01:31 AM
3

Ah a fellow nihilist. I finding that to be my world outlook lately as well. Mix in some hedonism and a tad of libertarianism and you've got me. Just putting all the divorce crap behind me, realizing in the end NONE of it matters. Just enjoying all the free time i had lost. Play video games, jamming out to some tunes, using and abusing hook-up apps/culture, basically I'm enjoying every part of life that I couldn't freely enjoy when I was married.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 02:50 AM
3

"Ouch that hurts. I can't see my STBX acting this way, she's far too conservative and timid". Then it's "she's probably just dolling herself so she can NOT go suck some other dudes dick (just kidding bro she's averse to giving head, have fun with that)." But that's just my own frustration/hurt over the feeling of being replaced. Not being the guy who's checking her oil and running pipe game. Either way though, no longer my business. Plus she stank like hell ever since our daughter was born - bit…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 02:41 AM
2

Just SUCK IT UP BROTHER!! (Hulk Hogan pose). We're men; What is a little pain after they already RIPPED OUT OUR HEARTS!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 02:17 AM
2

I'm with you on the bad/wierd sleep. That's most likely your brain wound up on cortisol.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 02:13 AM
2

Yeah man. I've been doing awesome for 2 wks, not bothered by any of it. Then she calls to speak to my daughter tonight which I allowed. She's all done up, same as the last EoW I had. Little cleavage showing too. I know it has nothing to do with me but damned if jealousy and anger didn't flare up inside. And pain, which is where the anger comes from. Sucks bro, I feel ya. Just hang in there she'll be forgotten by morning.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 02:12 AM
2

Yeah it's different for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:36 PM
2

That's the idea. Kid first, everything else secondary or later. Money doesn't bother me it really means nothing in the end anyways, I won't be laying there as an old dying man wishing I made my money.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 04:48 PM
3

Yeah I really think being upfront is important. I guess I'm not good looking enough for casual flings... ¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 04:46 PM
3

Haha that's funny. I wish I could find some debauchery to get into - I'm not very good at these dating apps at all. I got a dozen conversations going but no idea how to close the deal. Got too used to being married and in a relationship a long time, lost any game I once had...
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 04:35 PM
2

Congratulations. I'm glad to hear things worked out to your satisfaction. It's just a shame that you probably had to compromise time and time again to get to that point, while she most likely had to compromise very little. I'm still fighting for 50/50, don't care how long it takes at this point. I can always make more $$ - can't magically fabricate more time with my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 03:39 PM
1

Pretty sure most women do all of the things he just listed above. My ex sure as hell did, overnight half the contacts on my phone and all of our friends ghosted me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 01:28 AM
2

Eh it's fine. Lesson learned. Much like every other guy here it seems like, I'm just shocked at how much my ex changed from the woman I once loved and would give anything and do anything for her, into a demon that seems hell been on destroying me in any possible way she can. I mean she can't so it's almost humorous watching her try minus the extreme amount of money it's costing me, but it's still detestable that she feels she has to act this way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 01:26 AM
2

Basically, be ready to throw lots of money at this situation. The whole process revolves around money the more you have the better you'll do. But like the other guy said, it doesn't last more than a year or two. As men I think we have the ability to suck it up and do it needs to be done for that long of a time. Also I cannot stress this enough absolutely follow the order to the letter of the law until it's thrown out. If it's entirely false and you can defend yourself the judge will most likely …
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 01:52 PM
2

Try Hinge. It's waaaaaaay better than shitty Tinder if you actually went to have real conversation. It's still alot of work and still you can expect to get ghosted or ignored quite a bit- but you'll have some successes too. I think the main issue is women have tons and tons of guys swiping on them so even when they're choosy with who they swipe on, they wind up with a long list of replies and they will become even choosier with who they reply back to. It's basically a meat market but if you're h…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 01:46 PM
1

Yeah if I had the skill to do something like that I would love to make it a project, but that's a bit beyond me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 01:00 PM
2

My ex stalks me here, I DGAF though. But yeah a disc server sounds cool. Real talk
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 12:36 AM
7

We're in a 50/50 state. If I survive this mess without going 100% broke, and I get 50% of our house, I'm buying a used newish Class A motorcoach. Something nice enough to live in more comfortably and able to hit the road when I want to.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 12:22 AM
1

Brilliant, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 11:04 PM
2

Just curious where are you guys buying all these books at? Amazon? I've been having to tighten my finances up recently and books can get expensive pretty quick.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 06:27 PM
1

Thanks. It's hard but I'm getting better at it every week that passes.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 02:09 AM
2

It's tough, she's smart and does things perfectly to anyone watching. Plus she IS a good mom, more or less. It's been difficult to find anything to use against her in court. Plus she keeps coming at me so I'm constantly left on the defensive. Best case scenario (and one that's working ok so far) is weathering the blows, showing good character, and showing the judge over the course of the divorce her true character which is proving to be vengeful and spiteful.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 02:08 AM
2

Yeah my lawyer never made me aware that that was an option. One of the few slip-ups he's made that I can think of. But he had no idea how slippery she was. Lessons learned, he's been on the ball ever since.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 07:47 PM
1

Ty friend. What I'm finding helps a lot is just being very aware of myself at all times. Pausing before I speak and considering how what I'm saying will affect the person I'm talking to. It feels forced a lot of times but I figure it's just like anything else that involves building a habit. I'm choosing to believe there's not so much a monster below but more like a misunderstood child that never got the help he needed. Just got to keep working through it. I may die alone too but I'm okay with th…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:54 PM
1

The great island of North America. We got lots of island boys up here 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:50 PM
1

I will say though, and this is funny. I have a brother who travels overseas a lot for work and he jokingly recommended I switch my country that I'm in to Thailand or the Philippines or Colombia. So I switched my home City to Bogota and started swiping and it was unbelievable how much more beautiful than women were on average. And they seemed eager to meet me even though I had to use a translator for the Spanish. I felt bad for misleading though since I'm not in the area so I quit. But I tell you…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:49 PM
1

So I bit the bullet and tried Hinge last night. I was actually pretty impressed with the way it's set up, putting emphasis on personality. But it's the same s*** as every other app where you might get matched with attractive women, send a witty or flirtatious message, and never hear back. I honestly believe if I lower my standards a bit I'll do really well though. I'm just not really big on girls who are very overweight when I'm over here busting my ass to keep fit after losing a bunch of weight…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:47 PM
2

You got it man feel free to PM me if you need some support. It'll take my mind off my own divorce right now helping someone else 👍
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:45 PM
2

I filed first and she dodged the sheriff's department three times to the point where they reported back they were unable to locate her. A day later the sheriff in the small town I'm living in now showed up with her filing. So now I'm the defendant and I've been on the defensive ever since. It's ridiculous!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:42 PM
6

My lawyer's expensive at least in my opinion but I sure am glad I got him in my corner and not in hers. She's on her second lawyer now and I imagine after she loses a couple more times she'll get a third. I found part of the trick to winning is just being reasonable and taking the high road. There's going to be personal sacrifice no matter what... Its a divorce after all and you only lose. But what's happening is she's coming after me with everything she's got being very unreasonable and unwilli…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:40 PM
1

It'ss a good time to quit your job in my opinion. Opportunities everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 02:10 AM
2

There's a million in one ways they can leave and destroy our families, but it always feels the same I feel like. Stay strong man, don't feel bad for feeling bad. Not many days go by where I don't have mild suicidal ideations but I know it's not something I'd actually do. People will demand you get help and act crazy when you say something like that but I think it's natural and to be expected and you lose everything. We got to do like Biden and build back stronger (Lol). Not a fan of the guy but …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:24 PM
2

Yes sir keep this man right here's advice locked in. Do not, I repeat, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT even consider putting a ring on it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:21 PM
1

So true!
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:20 PM
1

How has your experience on Hinge been? I'm on tinder because it was the only one I knew about but I'm finding it to be a big waste of time for the most part. Had a little bit of success on bumble afterwards but even that started to feel pointless. I feel like women hold all the cards with this online dating now, and giving power to women is not something I'm keen to do after getting separated. Maybe Hinge is somehow different?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:19 PM
4

They really do age like milk don't they. They start out sweet and delicious and inevitably turn sour and rotten...
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:17 PM
1

If it's to somebody I don't plan on being with very long, the answer is "because she's a b****", or "she ran out on me", both of which are true no need to give a lot of detail.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:16 PM
2

I'm an island boyyyyy...
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:14 PM
3

Yeah the apps are ridiculous. Since it's 99% based on your picture, if you don't look like a male model or movie star you're basically only going to attract the bottom 5% of women. I feel like these apps give average and even some ugly women an inflated sense of value, because men swipe on anything.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:14 PM
1

You're going to do great man! I don't know much but I know that when you go through something as s***** as divorce you become 10 times stronger. And women will notice that new confidence and strength. Plus like another guy said, a good woman will absolutely appreciate a man who's a good father. Good for you for getting back out there!
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 02:11 PM
1

I've definitely broken #1, the rest I'm not worried about. She manipulated me out of the house and like so many other guys I wound up leaving voluntarily so my daughter could return home to her own room/bed and so I wouldn't have to keep experiencing sleepless nights worrying about where they were. And I'm paying the price now, it just keeps getting worse. People tell me eventually she will begin acting humanely and we can have a productive co-parenting relationship but I just can't see it. She …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 06:48 PM
5

Jesus H. Christ. I can't imagine the thought process that went through her head. As if I wasn't already losing my faith in humanity a day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 06:44 PM
5

I don't know either and I'm most likely going to go broke before it's all over. But I'm not stopping for anything when my daughter is on the line. That figure you listed is rediculous though, that's 2.5x my salary and I thought I was finally doing pretty good...
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 06:44 PM
2

Okay so it is worded differently but kind of the same thing. My lawyer almost made it sound like it was a normal thing too even though maybe I misunderstood him. But I talked it over with my mom and some friends and we decided it just wouldn't be good for my daughter to be taken from one parent and handed off to another by a stranger and then taken away again. My ex claimed that my daughter was already well adjusted to it but I think we all know what kind of horse s*** that is. This past weekend…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:52 PM
1

Yeah I don't think things can go back to the way they were once things reach this point. You got to cut the cord and do it early, you don't want your kids exposed to that toxicity like I was growing up. I feel like my parents despised each other and it was hell man. Life comes in seasons, it's raining and wet now but soon the sun will come out. 👍👍
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:48 PM
2

That's what I'm worried about. After taxes and child support about half my gross pay is going to be gone. It's a temporary order though until we go to court for final custody, and I'm going to fight tooth and nail for 50/50. Not just because of reduced child support but mainly because it's my little girl and she loves me so much and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't fight as hard as I can. The f***** up part is even after everything happened with my stbx, I would be willing to fight just a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:46 PM
1

How does this work? My daughter is about to turn 3. I love her to pieces but she can't begin to understand how hard I'm fighting for her... Thanks to the temp custody agreement I'm going to miss her birthday the first time in her life. Missed her first Christmas, thanksgiving, etc etc. It sucks ass so hard.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:03 PM
2

You're in a good place (this forum I mean) man. Spend enough time reading here and you'll realize that just about any situation you can think of, best case or worst case, has been lived and survived. You'll pull through!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:02 PM
2

Same here, I feel like a boxing pro at this point just rolling with punches all day every day. I'd gladly take a few hits as well for you brother. Feel like I'm made of iron now lol.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:01 PM
2

My ex tried to get me stuck with like an hour every few weeks in a "supervised visitation center" which I assume is what you're talking about. How awful is that? That "sentencing" (which is basically what it is) should be reserved for violent criminals, rapists, and the like. Not fathers who love their kids and don't hurt them!! God that makes me so angry.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 09:58 PM
2

What this guy said right here. 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 09:53 PM
2

Jesus christ that's awful. Have you had to pay child support this entire time as well?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 09:52 PM
2

I went from Aug 19 to Dec 3 without seeing my daughter in person. It sucked, I can't even freakin describe it. In fact I'm sitting here at work trying to kill a little time before end of day and I'm tearing up remembering. During that time I got a handful of short video calls, but it was rare. I had a hard time figuring out what hurt more, having my daughter yanked away who I had spent almost the entire pandemic with in some capacity and had a very close connection to... or losing my wife who ha…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 09:50 PM
3

Yep that's because when women detach emotionally it's fast and it's final. She knew early on most likely that she had no interest left in you but why throw away a good provider who does all your work for you! Total opportunist.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 05:50 PM
2

Sounds familiar, eerily so. In some areas anyways. But once every two weeks would have been such a welcome and joyous improvement at that time. I know the feels... My stbx just gave up on me/us at some point and I became dead last. It was our daughter, then her mom/aunt, then her job, then her side business, then misc chores and duties... And I was taking up the rear. It's awful bro I'm really sorry you had to live that. Edit- in retrospect she probably felt I had made her dead last priority as …
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 05:39 PM
2

Might be a state by state thing. I know some states have some ridiculous child support rules... I heard Texas is one of them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 12:34 AM
2

Me three! I'm already deep in but I'd like to learn more.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 12:38 AM
2

Ty I made one. Any new post will be through the burner account.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 07:43 PM
1

Ty
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 07:43 PM
1

I hear you man sounds like this is a good time for some down time. Much respect, what a time to try all the things you always wanted to try anyways 👍
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 08:35 PM
3

Geez I feel like this is what my ex is being told about me. I wasn't very cooperative with couples therapy, truth be told I should have had my own therapist long before that. Just now starting to work through some really really deep old baggage - childhood traumas. I don't blame her for leaving me anymore, and if she can ever get herself straightened out I don't think she would blame you for leaving. Like the previous comment, it's not your job to fall on the sword for her if she won't get herse…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 06:56 PM
10

Yes, this, 1000%. Women in general are not the problem imo. It's the women we chose to marry. Don't be afraid to get back out there but have fun! Don't get attached! Good reply!
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 04:23 PM
2

I've begun thinking of it like this: we live our life in "seasons". I don't believe we're MEANT to spend our entire adult remaining adult life with just one person. When things run their course, my goal is to appreciate the time spent, lessons learned, fun had, etc, and move on. Take a break between obviously to re-center but I can see no reason to shut yourself away from all of the potential amazing experiences you could have just because you're convinced it won't last "forever". Seasons come a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 04:20 PM
2

I don't know. I don't want to ever marry again but I crave closeness and intimacy. Right now I'm sort of seeing this woman who is going through a similar situation as myself. I see her maybe once a week and it's just great conversation, laughter (which heals!), and sex. We're setting boundaries with each other since I'm straight out of a marriage and in the middle of a nasty divorce process/custody battle. If you can find something like that I'd say it can be worth it. We met on Bumble, had to w…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 04:12 PM
1

Thanks thats some solid advice imo. I'm going back to a personal trainer now, losing weight etc. I don't want to abandon my daughter that's the last thing I want to do. Im going to try to just always be mindful when I have her, maybe I'll keep a journal I dunno. Mainly right now I just want peace in my life. Peace with my wife (ex) and everything. I'll check out David Goggins as well, ty.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 12:13 PM
1

Man thank you so much for this comment. I didn't really think about it that way, been too busy reliving all my past memories trying to see if it matches narcissistic tendencies. Definitely some similarities out there for sure but it could be other things as well. I think I'm going to try to find a therapist on a sliding scale real soon maybe tomorrow. I need someone to talk to in person about this stuff and it needs to be somebody that can handle it and know what to do with it. Thanks again brot…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 03:56 AM
1

Yeah that's the goal. But I know I'm toxic to almost everyone around me. I've been through more therapists then i can count, the last one actually ghosted me when I think he had enough of my rants. Once I get insurance again I'll try to find another one.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 09:49 PM
1

Thanks friend. I don't have insurance right now even though I can technically afford it but barely. I'm still a contractor and the benefits offered by my company are garbage to begin with. And ObamaCare wants $500 a month just for myself. But maybe I can find a psych who will offer some sliding scale affordable payments... I'm not even sure they can help me but what have I got to lose right.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 09:41 PM
1

Ok so you never left then. Wise man. I wish I would have known better. Stand your ground! I've all but lost my daughter at this point. After learning about it here I've determined my ex is using the "gray rock" method on me and it's been working. It infuriates me because she can cut off communication and even though she lets me talk on the phone to my little girl... She's 2 and has a tiny attention span. I wish you the best of luck buddy 🤞
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 04:42 PM
1

OP can you please send me some info on your case such as the state you're in where the judge let you move back in? My lawyer has been telling me it's impossible. He asked me to show cases where this has happened but I'm guessing NC law forbids it. Plus he thinks she would try to get me for false DVPO again. I'd almost have to wear a body camera all the time lol.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 01:12 PM
5

My ex hit me with that too. Luckily she had zero evidence for it and the judge in the temporary hearing threw it the f*** out. I have a hard time believing they would grant her a second one since we're not even physically in contact and haven't been for months. Be careful if she does file one against you though bro. They told me it was going to be a 10-day ex parte order but because the temporary dvpo hearing was being seen by the same judge as my temporary custody hearing, they wrote it into on…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 04:21 AM
3

Please explain what gray rock is, I got a feeling this is something I'm going to need as well...
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 04:17 AM
1

Thanks for the follow-up. Ive been away busy with work but read your reply and wanted to let you know you're awesome to get through all that. I can be available to chat, sure. I also have a young child, a daughter that turns 3 in 2 weeks. Love her more than anything but I feel I'll be lucky to get more than every other weekend. I have a history of "mental instability" if you will so my ex knows she can manipulate that any way she wants. And shes cut off all communication except through her lawye…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 07:06 PM
2

Yeah everyone says my daughter takes after me and I don't see any resemblance to my ex either. I guess we should be thankful for the small miracles.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 04:10 PM
1

Glad it's not just me. I made that comment off hand to my mom the other day who's very religious. She knows that I was recently saved even though I'm struggling with it. She looked at me dead in the eyes and said "Satan wants your mind because he knows he can no longer have your soul, he may well be working through her since she refuses to know God". It shook me a little bit because she's very anti-religious and she almost turned me that way. Now like I said I'm struggling with the religious asp…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 01:28 AM
2

Thanks for this. I just found my newest sub.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 01:12 AM
2

My brother told me on my wedding night, seemingly half joking, "bro, you still got time to bail. I'll tell them you got sick". The other day we were chatting and I brought that back up and he looked me square in the eyes and said "dude I was being serious but I didn't want to scare you and push you away". Literally everyone in my family didn't like her but wouldn't tell me. That was their one attempt to warn me, on my WEDDING night!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 01:12 AM
1

God it's the freaking truth. I can't stop looking at pictures of my ex lately, from the good times. My god she was beautiful, drop dead gorgeous with a crazy body and eyes that could hyponotize. The funny thing is though, when I have to see her now during custody exchanges, I find absolutely zero attraction. She turned into a whole new human being, and I'm not fully convinced she isn't possessed by the devil lol.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 01:10 AM
4

I fucking DESPISE paying over $2k a month to my attorney, but if I were in your shoes I would not wait one day longer to hire one. Get a good one, even if they seem very expensive (mines $250 an hour, but it's incredibly comforting and stress reducing knowing you have a hell of a professional in your corner who knows the ins and outs of the law, knows the judges, hell, even knows the other lawyer youre up against and has beaten them before!). Best of luck friend, we're basically all in this hell…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 01:08 AM
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