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throwRA8935747835 Archive

View 7 posts and 122 comments by throwRA8935747835 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

I was thinking about the same. We need to put pressure on lawmakers to actually take the problem seriously - misogony is a real threat to women everywhere, but since we're a gender, we apparently don't deserve protection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 06:19 PM
17

Girl, it has only been two months. You're supposed to be in the honeymoon stage, and yet it sounds like the problems are already starting to pop up. The others have mentioned some good points that you need to really take in. It sounds a bit like he is already becoming a project for you. You can't fix him and you won't be "the one to break through to him" just because you're his first girlfriend. He has to be willing to fix himself, and he is not, so he won't change. Protect yourself, your time, …
/r/askFDS21/06/21 07:40 AM
3

Love this list! And I can also recognise a lot of the same traits in my partner (especially those old good friends that are actually decent people!), which is reassuring. Im glad you also included the quirks; I think we all have our quirks. The important thing is that we want to improve and be on a continuous journey of self growth. My partner has said (rather off-handedly) that he wants to be the best version of himself for me - because he cares about my feelings and how I think of him - and he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:42 AM
2

I am from the same area and I cannot recognise the whole thing with exclusivity after 2nd meeting Im afraid haha. Mormons are a fairly small group, so maybe OPs experience is influenced by that, because I see more people being in a "talking phase", which has always annoyed me.
/r/askFDS21/05/21 03:34 PM
8

Congratulations! Of course it is not. Something as simple as picking up the phone and sending you a sweet text is all that it takes. Like, I'd do that for a co-worker or a coursemate. Trust your instincts 👏
/r/askFDS19/05/21 12:33 PM
15

Please, please find a way out. It doesn't matter if he is supporting a whole goddamn village, if he is abusing you with this type of demeaning, resentful language. A real partner would support you, encourage you, and NEVER speak badly about your friends and family like he does. I am sending you all my love and support.
/r/askFDS26/04/21 08:10 PM
134

The beautiful thing is, we're not asking them to take FDS seriously. If anything, we want peace. We want a women-only space, and we are not asking for scrotes' validation of that space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:19 PM
12

HAHAHAHA. No. They only care about themselves, and women have been conditioned to think that if he "throws you around and is not afraid to dominate", then he is somehow a good lover. Or you are so emotionally starved that the sex seems good. Guys that actually care about your experience, listen to any suggestions or corrections you have and so on - those are usually the ones that gets you off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:30 AM
6

Exactly! I am also working on this mindset, and I know a lot of my girlfriends do too, so it is really more a relief than anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 08:24 PM
28

I think my kink has to be personal insight and continuous self development, because I am also a big fan of it 😂But yes, he is wonderful and eager to improve himself, which is such a relief compared to other experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 08:22 PM
11

Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 08:19 PM
80

I also have such a HVM friend, and they are wonderful. His whole family is actually wonderful, well-rounded people that actually like each other. He sat the bar high early on for the type of treatment I deserve from people in my life, and I know that when he finds an SO, that person will be treated like a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:44 AM
39

Absolutely! I always think about who "wins" when a woman is put in a position where she can neither get birth control to prevent a pregnancy, and also not be able to terminate one. She's at the mercy of the man, and of the education she has received on the topic (which probably wont be a lot).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:42 PM
36

I have the same feeling. I feel quite sure that my home country is a far cry from ever implementing that, but it is scary how women in other countries see their rights being taken away. I think that is also what has turned me even more towards feminism in recent years - because I need to do my part to fight against this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:41 PM
262

That's probably also a part of the reason why anti abortion is on the rise in several regions. I refuse to believe it has ever been about religion or "precious life", since they stop giving a shit once the child is born. No, it is about controlling women, keeping them down, and ensuring that the males' privileged place in our patriarchal society can be maintained.🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:29 PM
24

I am so happy for you! 🥰 So great to hear men that are willing to put in the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:50 PM
27

That's what happens when you waste your life away with porn, video games and bro culture. If you are not a well-rounded person that are able to socialise, obviously you aren't able to get any kind of intimacy. The problem is that they will blame it on everyone but themselves 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:05 PM
29

"More than half the men expected their careers to take precedence over their wives' careers" - that literally made me sick. I am so grateful to have a supportive partner, who wants to see me succeed - and take care of me along the way. He doesn't base his "manhood" or "pride" on being bigger than me - he takes pride in being able to meet my expectations and provide, picking me up when I need it. I can't imagine how draining the alternative must be. Then I'd rather be single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:35 PM
3

Ew, all I can read here is sentences starting with "I, I, I" - listen to me, spend time on me, validate ME. He is just dumping emotional labour on your lap, and expect you to be grateful for it 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:30 PM
5

Fellow service worker here (for long 4 years - and I still have nightmares about them) and I agree. It was always the men who were either abusing their "power position" as the customer or, you know, literally just spewing abuse. It was a man who threatened to beat me up (17-yearold at the time) outside the store, men that commented on my figure... Sure, there were also some pissed off women sometimes, but I was never afraid of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:56 PM
22

Adding this to my podcast list immediately 🥰 At some point, I'd love to try to write and submit some blog posts/articles for the website (if that is possible)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:45 PM
21

A sweet joke? No, this is just about common sense and being a decent person. Everything doesn't evolve around sex - there is a time for everything, and if you have to explain that to him and he reacts like that, then it is a waste of energy,
/r/askFDS12/03/21 11:04 AM
12

Thank you for sharing this - "crybaby" was exactly the term I was trying to convey and for some reason, I have been worried about seeming like that. But the threat is absolutely real, so I am trying to think of it as being realistic and taking good care of myself. If some man has a problem with that, it is because they don't want to understand. Take care of yourself, sis! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:24 PM
106

It is so sad and appalling. Women should be able to trust that they can walk home safe. Also, I have realised that I need to stop being apologetic about taking precautions. If you have (male) friends that make fun of you for not wanting to meet up late, for not wanting to go home alone late or go on a freaking walk in an area you don't know... Ditch them. Don't EVER feel like you just have "toughen up" or brush off your gut feeling. I wish someone had told me that when I was a rebellious teenage…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 05:46 PM
2

I am so over anyone, who dares to compare FDS with the "manosphere" and say it is just as bad. FDS wants to avoid bad men. The "manosphere" wants to kill women they don't like. It is not the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:10 AM
8

I absolutely agree! Especially because it is not about finding the right person or whatever. It is just something you get as a status symbol. And then you can change it when it starts to act up like a broken toy 🙄.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:37 PM
56

I agree, I am always suspicious of men who love dogs and don't like cats. Tells me they want unconditional love without questions, and cannot handle the independence of a cat, that won't do something it isn't in the mood for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 02:04 PM
242

Imagine hating your wife so much that you have no qualms over using her as a free bangmaid and watch her go into financial disarray because YOU knocked her up. I hope she runs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:38 AM
4

Congrats with your man, and most importantly, battling the cancer! I wish you all the best 💕 My boyfriend has recently noticed that I like my tea to a different temperature than his, so he warmed his mug in the microwave to ensure that "we would both be able to drink our tea at the same time" instead of him finishing before me 😂 It is the most ridiculous thing, but I love how attentive he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:57 PM
7

You deserve someone who wants to show the world that he is dating you.
/r/askFDS27/02/21 09:16 AM
29

It is so annoying. I am interested in viking culture (because I am Scandinavian), but those stupid ass white nationalists have ruined it, so now I am automatically suspicious of anyone that is into runes and stuff like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 10:58 PM
22

Ommmggg I am cringing so hard over this 😂 "part Viking!" it is like saying that you are part fisherman or part farmer... it is not some hereditary trait lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 10:55 PM
31

That's is a good point, and I've been there sis. One of my closest male friends for over 10 years admitted to having molested me while I slept years ago. And it took me a long time to fully accept what had happened and what that said about his character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 08:26 PM
335

I hope you reconsider being friends with someone who is literally justifying torture of women because it makes his dick hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:42 PM
1

I am so excited that there are so many in here that would be interested!! And thanks to people who have messaged me with suggestions :D I will try to "launch" on Sunday with a "master list" of books that can get updated along the way, and then a post on what book we should focus first (in a month or so I reckon?) Edit: I am getting so excited about this, so I'll also be contacting some cool librarians for book suggestions too, so we can get the list going haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:15 PM
32

"Not all men" until the moment it doesn't benefit them. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:42 PM
43

I am so tired of the constant "guy brain excuse" - like, you didn't explicitly tell me to do this, you women always expect us to read your thoughts, I only thought we did XYZ because that's the two things we talked about!!. Nah sis. My boyfriend describes himself as quite "naive and tries to be better at reading between the lines". Hell, we even had an argument in the days up to Valentine's Day. But he had still prepared something - because he wants to. Because he knows it matters. Because Valen…
/r/askFDS18/02/21 06:29 PM
1

That's also a really good idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:39 PM
1

DM'ing you :) Edit: Turns out I can't haha, please reach out if you are interested in giving some input on planning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:38 PM
10

Maybe like a reoccurring megathread with a flair (e.g. "Pick the book for November" / "Book Club's November Book: Review and discussion")? Maybe the mods have a suggestion on how this could be done elegantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:20 PM
15

That's not a bad idea! It would keep the discussion in a monitored space, so maybe I should just create some "book club" posts instead that way :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:12 PM
24

Awesome! 👏 I'll work on it then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:45 AM
14

That sounds wonderful! Congrats on finding a man that makes the effort 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:45 AM
158

Would anyone be interested in a feminist book club? I was thinking about starting a feminist book club, but for women only. I have messaged the mods here about it too, but I am pretty sure they are probably flooded with messages (and not-so-nice DMs). I am quite interested in reading especially 2nd wave feminist literature, and figured a book club could help keep me accountable, and allow people to share their thoughts on books too - I know we have a lot of brilliant women in here after all :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:11 AM
16

I've had a very rough week and also had had a minor argument with my partner, so I really hadn't had the capacity to even think about the day or do anything. He didn't disappoint though, he made a nice dinner the night before, and then woke me up with breakfast in bed, a card and a couple small, sentimental gifts. Among these were speciality teas, which he had picked based on my favourite region (!) and flavour. I should have known that he would have come up with something, because he also didn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:53 AM
40

I am gonna leave out the bigger things for the sake of anonymity, but these are some of the more "everyday" sweet things: I think the most unique, consistent thing that I find very sweet, is that he writes me love letters. Like, actual handwritten cards, sometimes with a small gift. I save all of them. He is making an actual effort to learn my language. He is taking small lessons every goddamn day. Just being incredibly supportive in general. I sometimes downplay my success so I wont make others…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:50 PM
5

I love this! It is really all about effort and not about a certain price tag. I hadn't gotten my partner anything for today as I expected both of us to be busy and overworked, but he presented me with a handwritten love letter, speciality tea from my favourite region, custom mug, and he woke me up with breakfast in bed. In my opinion, that shows more attention and effort, than if some rich scrote just bought something random to shut you up (been there).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 04:12 PM
13

It is fine to take your time, and let him take the lead, even if he is "scared". I had been with my current partner for 6 months before he said it, but it was clearly a big deal to him - sitting me down and telling me, all serious (lol). But I like how intentional it was, and not because it seemed like a way of keeping me hook/just throwing it out there. If he wants to say it, he will do it, no excuses.
/r/askFDS12/02/21 10:32 AM
1

Thanks. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 04:25 PM
1

I'd be interested in being designated as a "specialist" :) FDS has helped me a lot on my way, and I want to give back to the community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 02:48 PM
8

Honestly your post is absolutely handbook worthy, because you won't get anywhere if you only look at the financial costs. An LVM can easily be a millionaire and treat you like garbage while taking you to a Michelin restaurant. Just like an LVM can plan "a walk in the park" and offer you a soggy biscuit. Both are low effort 🤷‍♀️Thank you for adding some nuance to the whole "investment" discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 05:25 PM
18

WTF, he didn't even bother coming up with a good excuse. If he was excited for the date, he would have remembered. Limit your availability now. No, you are not available for tomorrow. He showed you how little invested he was, so now he went straight to the bottom of your priority list. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
/r/askFDS01/02/21 10:10 PM
68

Love this! I've been on shitty, expensive dates where the man just wanted someone to stroke his ego (I mentioned once how I disliked bowling, and guess where he suggested for a third date?). Then I've had a guy turn up with a selection of food from my home country, which are difficult to get in this country - because he listened and did the effort to make me happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 10:09 PM
13

"If he wanted to, he would." 👏
/r/askFDS31/01/21 08:19 PM
6

I was labeled INTJ by that test, but I quickly realised that if a man puts that on his profile, he definitely has some sort of Napoleon complex lol. I first thought that meant that we would have something to talk about and he might be quite smart, but it turned out to be a disappointment. Im not gonna entertain some arrogant loser, so I actively avoided men that put it on their profile ( I was on OLD pre-FDS).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:55 AM
12

Yess, let's spread some positive energy!! Worked abroad for a few months in an amazing position, that will hopefully help me land the next great opportunity. Just got approval to do field work for my thesis <3 I am in good health despite 2020, and I am motivated to get even healthier habits in 2021. I have great friends and family that are inspiring and supporting. I have a great supportive partner who is adding to my life and is already planning new great experiences for the coming year. And on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:43 PM
69

For me, being HVW serves mainly me, but also acts as a good filter. LVM will not be able to keep up with you and try to bring you down to their level, while a HVM will be inspired to do better and match your energy. I strongly identify with Leslie myself (and my partner is in the same field as Ben lol), but here are some of my thoughts on being HVW: Being confident and "resting" in your own body. Not sure if that is an English expression too, but basically that you exude peace with yourself and …
/r/askFDS09/01/21 02:33 PM
24

I noticed that too! The freaking entitlement is out of this world. It's like she is not even a real human being for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:24 PM
6

My current partner is the first one where I am no longer concerned about sharing my success and hard work with, because he is cheering me on. Writing a difficult text for an important application? He'll proof-read it since English is his first language. Staying in a different country for a few weeks for an important work project? He'll come visit me, and arrange food/activities, so I can focus on work. If I am feeling insecure, he hypes me up. When I doubt myself, he cheers me on. That kind of s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:37 PM
9

I think the hardest thing that you can try to break down is the inner male gaze. Where you judge yourself and your appearance based on what males like. I am still guilty of it sometimes, but I am trying to be more aware and be kind to myself.
/r/askFDS05/01/21 12:10 AM
4

I breathe, study and work in politics. Mainly EU stuff, which no one can really fully comprehend, but by God, a LVM will sure as hell try to correct me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:08 AM
8

Omg there is just no sight of a personality among these profiles, and yet girls are always bashed for being "basic" lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:57 PM
42

It is 100% an excuse to request feet pictures from younger women lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:29 PM
14

If you try to hit women up in a bar out of the blue in Scandinavia, we assume you are a loser or a creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:56 AM
3

We've all been there. I've also been obsessed with music guys because they felt "deeper"/more "intellectual" than others. But it is time to put you in focus and get to a place where you can say "he didn't add me? His loss" :) You can do it, you seem like a smart and talented person from what you've written here.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 07:30 PM
14

Girl. Read the handbook. Why are you obsessing about some random dude in a band? Why are you comparing yourself with other random women? You're writing paragraphs about a crush that doesn't know you. Sorry for being harsh, but that's the circumstances. I think you are right in your last paragraph, that this is more about you and how you want to be perceived/picked by this band, than about some person you don't even know. Time to reflect and do some introspection :) Best of luck!
/r/askFDS05/12/20 07:08 PM
2

Meh, I know my partner's code (or he has told me a few times, but it never really sticks) and we are quite open about those things. He has also shared his code to socials once or so, but I haven't. If things (God forbid) went south, I wouldn't want to have any man have access to my stuff. He hasn't asked, but I am also not hiding my phone or anything like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 06:19 PM
5

My current partner has just been an overall completely different experience than previous men I've dated. No second-guessing, no mind games. Just a decent guy who knows what he wants, and who treats his surroundings with respect. When he met my family, he had spent a few months learning some of my language, and he showed up at their house with small presents for my parents. He is always taking care of my and supporting me - from small things, such as making tea "how I like it", to generally be i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 09:56 AM
7

Thanks for the award kind stranger, btw! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:09 PM
32

I know right??? It is always the same, they start whining about exactly the thing that is part of the patriarchy as if it supposed to be a counter argument. They don't listen to what we say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:09 PM
12

Hahaha, ah yes, and the grip is choking both their cock and any rational thought apparently 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:08 PM
20

Always comes back to the women, lol. God forbid that they should do some introspection for more than five seconds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:07 PM
119

True, especially on an unconscious level. "When you are used to privilege, equality feels like oppression."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:05 PM
17

So true! Had to check myself. This post definitely described me just a few years ago - I generally have my shit under control, but because of stuff that happened in my childhood, I was also desperate for approval. So glad I unpacked all that shit and don't need to flaunt my success or "make it work". Fuck that lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:55 PM
208

If my boyfriend ever said anything like that, I would have left him. The blatant lack of respect in the way he speaks during an argument is more than enough.
/r/askFDS16/11/20 09:48 PM
40

I'm sticking to Leslie and Ben from Parks and Recreation. Maybe because me and my partner literally work in the same fields as they do, haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 01:27 PM
4

It took my boyfriend 6 months to say it. Not really sure what caused the "final shift", but I think it had something to do with the fact that he wouldn't say it to just anybody. Which is cool with me - I was at that point also still just considering my feelings for him and whether I could see us together in the long term. It is OK to expect that they will say it at some point. It is OK to consider it a red flag if they refuse to say it after you've been together for long. But be careful to not l…
/r/askFDS14/11/20 11:34 PM
9

I won't definitively say HV, but it has been over a year and he is still being great. I didn't use FDS tactics (since I didn't know about it at the time), but it definitely helped that I was not looking to date anyone, so I stayed level-headed in the beginning. I think he does display HV behaviour, because he is a good man that wants to help his surroundings. He is the guy that will ensure that a stranger gets home safely, he is the guy that always can find something to talk and ask other people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:23 PM
3

I've also been played by those artsy fuckboy types. But it seems a bit shallow now, in my opinion - trying so hard to come off as unique and deep, that you end up wearing a uniform. On the third date or so with my current partner, he described himself as "pretty square" when we talked about some past experiences. I disagree - he is a stable, well-rounded guy that treats other people right and actually dives into his interests without being obsessed over nursing his own image. It is a world of di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 10:59 PM
6

Why would celebrity crushes ever come up naturally in a conversation (especially with sexual undertones)? I also think he is doing it on purpose, I've never experienced that with my partner (so even if he has celebrity crushes, he is keeping his mouth shut).
/r/askFDS08/11/20 11:49 PM
22

Okay, so my partner is past his mid-twenties, but I'd still say the following: Good relationship with family, but not dependent on them. You dont want or need to compete with his mum. His place doesn't look like a shithole - he has clean clothes, bedding, etc - he gives a damn about appearance. Open, healthy communication. A feeling of being on the same team. You don't need to have drama, you don't need to talk about exes, nor are you interested in hearing about his. He has ambitions and a clear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 06:39 PM
7

Okay, but the fact that you keep bees is so freaking cool! It is more important than ever to help them. I wish I had a friend like you, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 11:38 AM
96

Lol, a boyfriend tried to pull that trick once. Not three hours, but definitely past what I would consider normal dinner time. He showed up to an empty table. Told him I had already eaten, and assumed he had too. He was never late again :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:50 PM
4

Well I've read my Simone de Beauvoir and Judith Butler, but I had forgotten enough of my reading to not quite place these thoughts. Thank you! Radical feminism it is, and we should bring it back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:09 PM
25

I truly feel there is a need for a new wave of feminism, a need to go back to "the roots" where we can criticise the societal structure and how it influences individuals. The personal is political. My grandmother's generation saw through the alleged "liberalisation of women's sexuality" when porn was liberalised. They argued that it only served the men, and that this so-called liberalisation was just a way to get women to serve themselves to men and be willing to override their own boundaries. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 06:40 PM
4

I've been a similar situation on a night bus. I didn't do anything, although I was very much aware of what was going on - but I was in shock. Afterwards, I felt so ashamed that I, in that moment, hadn't taken action and just "allowed" the guy to do it, but you really don't know how you will react in those situations (and your brain is, more than anything else, just trying to keep you alive!).
/r/askFDS18/10/20 10:31 AM
15

Meanwhile my boyfriend is busy learning my native language so he can at least say a few phrases to my family when we visit them later this year. You really appreciate that type of stuff, when you know that many other men wouldn't be arsed TGAF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:36 PM
25

I'm gonna be using Build-a-Boi from now on, it cracked me up! And to OP: Such a good and insightful post! You are absolutely right. If he wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:55 PM
4

Hahaha, der findes også bedre ting end øl 😂Min kæreste er fransk og britisk, men han taler tysk så det gør dansk nemmere. Hvor kommer du fra? 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 08:13 AM
8

Super godt klaret! Min kæreste er også ved at lære dansk, men han er kun nået til "Hej. Jeg kan ikke lide at drikke øl" 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 02:10 PM
7

As I've said before, he should be begging her for commitment. That's why it is a good idea to see other people/keep your options open, as it limits the emotional attachment and obsession over one dude. That being said, you can also try the "Hey, I like spending time with you, but I am looking for XYZ. If you aren't on board with that, that is fine, and then I wish you the best in your search."
/r/askFDS11/10/20 04:10 PM
5

Im in the exact same situation as you! And it is hard. But I also stay vigilant and make sure I don't wait around for him to give me a call (I'm also way too busy for that anyway..)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 08:39 AM
8

I've been with seven people, two of them made me orgasm. But they were also open for instructions. I have never faked an orgasm though, but some people just don't care about your pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 05:16 PM
9

(I am a recovering Childhood Wound PickMe, and then also a bit of Hurtlocker. Not a pickme anymore, but obviously working to resolve past issues is a long process. But it doesn't take up brain space in my everyday life or actions anymore)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:48 PM
6

Brutal honesty is the way to go! Amazing post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:47 PM
15

I met my partner online too, but it was definitely not my intention to date anyone at that point. I had just already cancelled our date last minute, and then felt bad about my behaviour so I rescheduled (lol). So maybe that's why it worked, because I didn't really care about what he thought and wasn't desperate. I will point out though that all the dates we did go on before he asked me to be his girlfriend were well-planned and thought-out. No field dates ever, even in my pre-FDS period :P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 09:19 PM
8

Exactly!! People decide to choose conformity, even if that means they are fundamentally unhappy, because they are scared of the alternative. You chose you and your happiness :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 06:46 AM
12

I met my boyfriend on OKC (obviously waaaay before learning about FDS, otherwise I don't think I would've used it). I wasn't really up for dating anyone and had a mindset of not caring the slightest. I even cancelled last minute, but then felt bad. However, what I (thankfully) did do when I made the profile, was narrowing down the age, made preferences for occupation, filled out screening questions. He did make a lot of effort on our dates and impressed me, and has continued to so since, also af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:10 PM
24

So freaking true. My dad never noticed whenever my mum and I went to the hairdresser's and has always been clueless about gifts. Meanwhile, my stepdad is better than me at picking up my mum's wishes throughout the year so that she always gets something nice, even when she doesn't have a wishlist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:02 PM
19

I'm from Scandinavia and I can't quite recognise this. If someone wants to have sex with you on the first date, then they're just looking for a hookup IMO - and casual sex is very normalised overall, but I've never heard about that being the expectation for a proper date. But maybe things are different depending on where you live (eg big city/rural area). However, I did move to the UK some time ago and that's where I met my current partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:01 AM
4

You go girl! Best of luck and your boyfriend sounds awesome <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:54 AM
15

I am from the Nordic countries, can't get more specific than that Im afraid haha. I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. Please take good care of yourself - and then, hopefully, we can work to make some much-needed changes on a societal level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:22 PM
34

I may not come from a culture with high standards for men and dating, but if anyone would dare to suggest this, they would be collectively shunned and asked to go fuck themselves. The U.S. often seems like a scary place to live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:44 PM
18

This was a reassuring read. My partner just left yesterday evening after visiting me on a longer work trip (he even bloody cleaned the place while I was at work during the day because he knows my standards are higher than his in that area), and tonight I'll start reading the book he gifted me "because he thought it would be perfect for a future politician". It really is a world of difference from the POS guys I've accommodated in the past. We all deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:47 AM
2

Preach!! You're an inspiration. I am struggling with networking (I travel a lot so I do have the opportunities) because I am quite an introvert, but I also want to make more like-minded friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:17 AM
11

I agree with your first point to a certain extent. From my own experience, at the very beginning of us dating, he would refer to future events (near future, not making up an amazing future fantasy lol) and finish with a "if you'd still want to at that point." Respecting that we weren't committed 100% at the time. Now, after a year, it is different. I'll say "if we go to visit your uncle in France.." and he'll correct me: "when we visit my uncle in France after Christmas" or something similar. I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 07:53 AM
27

And it goes for the reverse scenario too - if his mother is a saint, always right and has influence in all aspects of his life - then guess what, you'll be getting a 2-for-1 deal in that relationship. And be in constant competition with his mum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:10 PM
9

Well, I have never experienced deep heartbreak per say, but I have been royally fucked over by guys before. The last one, before I leveled up and came to my senses, "broke up" with me over text because he had found someone he wanted to get serious with. Meanwhile I thought we were on the way to a relationship and that he was kind of "the one" as I had never found someone that I could bond with on such a deep level. I had a long period after that where I simply thought that there must be somethin…
/r/askFDS12/09/20 10:55 PM
63

Don't ask. He should be begging you for commitment. Maybe there is an elegant way of doing it, but my current partner was asking if he could call me his girlfriend after a month of seeing each other. He didn't want to risk losing me, while I was the one who wanted to take it slow. On the other hand, the idiots I was stupidly chasing never even brought up the topic (although I so badly wanted it, ew), because they just wanted to string me along until they found a better option/got bored.
/r/askFDS12/09/20 10:43 PM
1

"We accept the love we think we deserve." It's time to put yourself first, love yourself first, so you are in the best position to filter out undeserving assholes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:29 PM
4

Aaah that is so good! How sweet, and it is so freeing not having to put constraints on yourself when you are talking about the good things in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:32 PM
2

I feel you! I've always had it so difficult with increasing my rate/or pay, because I felt insecure and didn't want clients to complain. But usually they respect your time and work more when they are paying for high quality. What a great and supportive friend :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:31 PM
2

Thank you so much! ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:28 PM
3

It's true, and I am glad I wasn't the only one stuck with a bad habit of trying to 'soften' or 'lessen' my words. Im so glad you have a partner that cheers you on :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:28 PM
2

Thank you ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:26 PM
6

I work in public policy :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:25 PM
6

Hahaha no, but lots of nice friends that have their shit together :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:25 PM
2

That is so true, and I hate that I was still doing it without even realising. There are just so many hurdles if you want to be an ambitious woman, and we have to walk on eggshells and choose our words to not come off as bitchy or be viewed as 'difficult'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:24 PM
12

Haha, while I certainly wouldn't mind getting those things, I do think support and being a team is so important. I don't get flowers much, but he sends me hand-written cards whenever I am travelling somewhere, which I love rereading :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:21 PM
11

You're right, that's a good detail - it was the first time I heard it as well :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:18 PM
40

I agree! I am done holding myself back to make some dude feel better about himself, but I needed the reminder :) And thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:30 PM
2

I am an advocate for pursuing financial independence in the sense that you have enough assets generating money for you to be able to leave your job, your man or your apartment if shit hits the fan. Or if you are unable to work full-time because of illness at some point. I am quite young and I am also not sure if I'll have the same state pension scheme once I have to retire, so I'd rather cover my ass now than having to work until my late 70s/80s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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