1. Offers to pay for your dates at first. This is non-negotiable. Some of y’all look like this 🤡 splitting the check and even paying on the first few dates with the guy never even offering. He should want to impress you and be greatful for the privilege of getting to know you, and if he doesn’t offer to you have a problem. I know you can pay on your own because you’re strong and independent. Personally I never paid for dates and if a guy asked to split within the first few dates I never saw him again. If he doesn’t pay at first he doesn’t think you’re worth investing in, period. Move on.

  2. Doesn’t pressure you into moving too quickly in terms of physical affection. He values both you and himself. He really likes you so he wants to make sure he impresses you and learns more about you before getting too physical and ruining things and making you not like him. He respects your boundaries and understands you. If he is pushy, takes out his penis without consent, claims he has blue balls, or is rough... leave him now.

  3. He will make his intentions known. If he wants to date exclusively he will say so, because the thought of you being with anyone else is devastating. If he says “let’s take it slow.” Says he’s “busy” he’s playing the field/options seeing other women. Move on. If he actually likes you, he will always text you back and it won’t take 24 hours. If he goes a full day without saying one word to you via text or otherwise, move the fuck on because he’s talking to other women. He should be excited to hear from you. Dating you is a privilege. Just ghost him forever if he flakes.

  4. He never says anything bad about you or to you or about his female friends or family. If he ever says anything derogatory about women he’s a piece of shit. Calls you or his female family members bitches, whores, sluts, fat or other disrespectful terms... you’re with an abusive man and it will only get worse, leave him. Don’t explain yourself just ghost and do it safety.

  5. If he watches porn let him know it’s not something you tolerate. If it doesn’t stop leave him. He’s more interested in gratifying himself violently than pleasing you and being respectful to women.

  6. In bed he will ask what you like and how you like it. He just wants to please you. Men who are silent or selfish in bed are selfish in every other area of their lives. Leave him.

  7. He should feel slightly unworthy to be with you, ideally. He puts you on a pedestal because that’s where you belong. Not in a creepy way but in a way where he knows his place. If he doesn’t feel this way he will likely cheat or think he can do better. He will say things like “I’m so lucky to be with you.”

  8. He will do what he says and he will always think of you. Actions are louder than words. Words are cheap. It takes nothing to say “you’re beautiful,” this is the bare minimum. A man who changes your oil in your car for you without asking, brings you coffee in the morning, and brings home your favorite take out loves you and is listening to you. If he only brings food for himself, never asks you what you want or would like, or never surprises you with things you like is not thinking about you and likely doesn’t care.

  9. He really listens. He actually cares so when you say you like something he makes a note of that. If you tell him you want to talk about something he doesn’t ignore you. He holds your hand, looks at you, acknowledges you. He lets you feel your feelings and even cries with you. That’s true strength in a man.

  10. He never says you’re crazy or irrational. Never. There is no exception to this. Men who invalidate your feelings are gaslighting you or so emotionally stunted or selfish they can’t deal with your emotions are not worth anything. They belong in the trash.