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View 5 posts and 51 comments by throwaway_9876789876 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

But the question is dude debating if his lawyer is legit in the first place...
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 05:05 AM
1

Contact her attorney and ask for the documents directly. You're allowed. If they can't provide them, depo. If they have them, fire your lawyer asap and when the dust is settled on your divorce consider suing for misconduct if you have written confirmation that he never received said docs
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:54 AM
1

I'd put mentally fit ahead of emotionally fit because emotions are gonna happen whenever, and it's your newly developed mental skills that deal with them effectively. Outside of that, agree 100%
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:42 AM
1

They were great. Didn't work out, but they made me optimistic that I might just be able to find a great relationship
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 08:58 PM
9

43 here. This was me until the last person I dated. After our first date we had some really in depth conversations that got spicy, and date 3 was a prototypical Netflix and chill date. I'd never been that sexually aggressive before, even with my ex, and she was the first woman I was intimate with since my ex. I guess all that to say is when it felt right, a fire was lit under me. Perhaps that will be the same with you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:59 PM
3

Seems like you've got your answer
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 07:36 PM
1

Have you discussed marriage counseling?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 07:15 PM
1

It will get better. Opposite end of the spectrum now kid wise as I'm currently empty nesting, but I'm having a pretty good time with life right now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 05:37 PM
1

Yes - a party of divorce is only financially responsible for what is spelled out clearly in the decree/agreement. Anything else should be discussed between the parties, and if one jumps into an expense without said conversation then the liability is on them. This is for CA specifically, but I know this extends to many other states.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 07:53 PM
1

Nah, I don't do hookups. If that's what you're after I'd say Tinder is your best bet. And actually OKC might work for ya
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 05:41 AM
1

....well that doesn't sound good. I've hear one area can get better results than another
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 05:39 AM
1

Online dating. Set your age to maybe 35 - 43. Apps I hear that are good are Bumble and Hinge, but haven't tried those yet. I've personally been successful on Match. OKC was good but lately has been a waste of time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 05:23 AM
2

I'd argue that any tax hit could be offset with the benefit of investment. I'm pretty sure that I read here in CA such a thing you're looking to do would be preferred in the courts, but it's been a bit. Curious to hear where you end up on this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 10:36 PM
1

The thought has crossed my mind. I have a pretty strict operating model when it comes to life, and I'm very aware it's not for everyone. If it weren't for my last 2 dating encounters I'd probably be leaning more towards the solo direction. I think I'm gonna stick it out and give dating toward a LTR a few more tries.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 08:25 PM
6

Well, I really dislike her too, so that makes two of us! Hope y'all can get this sorted civilly soon for the kids sake if nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 05:46 AM
2

Yeah, in this scenario I'd take a "get what you give" stance for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 09:28 PM
5

I'd always been civil, sometimes helpful, up to a point. Then I'd tell her she really needs to figure that out for herself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 09:02 PM
5

Not sure what state you're in, but most award tax dependency to the top earner. I'd press for that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 08:19 PM
1

There's a lot to consider: state of residence, children, assets are the big ones. If y'all agree on how that's all to be managed post marriage, it can be relatively short. If not, it can take a while.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 02:40 AM
1

Holy shit. If you are self representing I don't see why you weren't in that meeting. That and the whole bonding thing make me think you should at least get a few consultations to see where you stand right now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 10:43 PM
3

There are ways of filing yourself, so if you truly think there's not going to be contention you can get this done for very cheap. That said, I would recommend getting consultations from multiple lawyers to know where you truly stand, as she might find this out for herself and decide to fight for what she can.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 06:29 PM
3

California here. If the man's income is more than the woman's, the woman can look to get a portion up to 100% of her fees covered. I had to do this as my income was way more than hers
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 06:51 AM
1

Is she open to therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 08:56 AM
1

Depending on the state you're in, her lawyer can come out of your pocket. I would get at least one consultation with a lawyer on the matter so that you know exactly where you're going to stand.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 08:54 AM
1

Just throwing it out there that here in California most lawyers will give you a free or low cost consultation. When I first started I got almost 3 hours of advice from 3 different lawyers for $100.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:11 AM
2

If therapy is not an option, he should seek a consultation before anyone moves out. Most lawyers offer them free or for a small fee. When my divorce was in its early stages I got 3 consultations and it served me very well
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 05:48 PM
4

Don't talk to her about it. It is not going to help, especially if she has moved on. This is gonna sound weird, but what you gotta try is to fall in love with yourself. Be comforable being you with you. As you become that healthy beast again, the ladies will see it and you'll be on your way. It's gonna take a minute, so be patient with yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/20 10:59 AM
2

Same to you man. Going back through this and similar subs that had posts and comments that helped. It's helping again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/19 06:32 PM
4

I know. I don't think she really wanted back, just wanted enough from me to get her needs met.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/19 06:31 PM
2

I feel in a similar boat. My divorce isn't final, so I've got a bit to go there. And my kids are all 16 or older. Up until very recently I thought I was good to go. Then she seemed to open the door for reconciliation, but I don't think it was for real, and it fell apart. I let go of all the progress I made getting to a good state to entertain her thoughts, and now feel I have to start all over again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/19 05:31 PM
3

Yes, this will be confidential. Opening a PO box may not be a bad idea. Expect to be asked about the financial situation for you both, the whole nine. This will be used to calculate support, if applicable. It's best to poke around your state's website for info on divorce, then go into the consultation with a few questions of your own.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/19 03:32 AM
8

Saves you time is about the only real part I see. I guess once it's over I don't have to worry about her wanting to spend money on xyz, but the legal fees between now and then aren't going to be great. And if you divorce with kids I have to assume most of the time that going to be a crap ton of work getting the kids raised.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/19 12:25 PM
1

Got my stbx pregnant and family kinda nudged me into it. Almost 20 years later that were an adventure, I don't think I'd do it again. The tax advantage is the only benefit I see for a male breadwinner.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/19 12:44 PM
1

I've got a guy in reserve he's been great so far and I'm pretty sure I can get his help with anything.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/19 08:30 PM
2

Yeah. As good as I feel some days, as good as the aftermath sounds on paper, there are all those little things that make me feel like an abject failure. I had mild depression before, going to call the Dr about something to deal with what I'm going through now a bit more professionally.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/19 03:49 PM
1

You can probably find a family law attorney that you can consult for free or relatively cheap to get your answers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/19 04:50 PM
3

Consult a family law attorney for the specifics, yoh can usually find someone for cheap or free. As for staying in the home, yes, do this for sure until you can get the process started.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/19 01:04 AM
1

That's what I keep thinking. I don't want to see my stbxw as ignorant, but this is getting there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/19 02:31 PM
2

Yeah I'm not going to confront her, she's not going to take it constructively no matter how I put it. I have indeed researched my exposure and my deal extended myself above and beyond to cover a few hundred bucks that may have been in play. I have to think any judge will see that, look at her rebuttal, and be dumbfounded.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/19 07:26 PM
3

Excellent words, thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/19 05:04 PM
2

Yeah, she's made the ultimatum to me already. I either take the deal or that's it. It's just, everything is documented. I keep thinking I'm missing some big joke, are professional lawyers this bad???
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/19 04:53 PM
3

Yeah, I have no intention on giving in. I've triple checked my online resources and calculations, and I'm pretty good. Add to that all the concessions I made and she still is asking for that much more? I just can't compute that. What really sucks is what the kids are going to be exposed to, potentially anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/19 04:21 PM
3

Survival mode, that's a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 02:25 AM
1

Second this. It helped me get centered for expectations and strategy in the very early stages. Even if you can't use their services this podcast could very well give you ideas on how to deal with certain things
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/19 06:52 PM
4

I spent the majority of the marriage thinking I didn't really need to fix a whole lot, and that she should fix like one thing of her own before I even look into it. I regret making that call for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/19 12:25 AM
1

I let my family pressure me into getting married because my SO got pregnant. We ended up making it 18 years, but in the end I think it would have been better if we didn't register the marriage. It's funny, I askeduaelf this same question earlier today. There's an obvious tax benefit, but outside of that it doesn't do shit good for the man. I hope we get to a point where the idea of marriage doesnt include this as custom. Who knows
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/19 12:20 AM
1

It's weird. I think we both still want to be friends, just the details of being in a marriage stopped working for us.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/19 12:55 AM
1

Just be careful. About anything in particular?
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/19 12:02 AM
1

Thanks man. I needed to hear this right this second, I appreciate it
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/19 05:25 PM
2

She's not going to want to sit on her ass. I'm pretty confident about that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/19 03:58 AM
1

She's a homemaker, so yeah. I assume up to 50%, right? And that can be adjusted as she gets on her feet financially?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/19 02:34 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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