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valsavana Archive

View 0 posts and 160 comments by valsavana on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

The Block option exists. Use it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:03 AM
18

I just want to know why the table he eats at is at the foot of his bed? I get that not everyone can afford a place with a separate dining room but you'd think with as much as he claims to work he wouldn't be living in a studio apartment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:43 PM
19

Love it! Hilarious and so true... although I'll never confess which parts...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:29 AM
17

Not touching the dog part of this because I know nothing about training them, although that method doesn't seem kind and loving... Why is this presumably grown ass adult woman unable to get up and get herself a blanket? If she's able-bodied and chooses not to get a blanket for herself when she's cold, that's her own stupidity. If she's unable to get herself a blanket due to illness, injury, or disability- whether those two are fighting should be beside the point. Her partner should help with her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:21 PM
4

Can't comment as to what the norm is but I read the article and it seemed more like she was putting it out there as an example to any other woman like her, that you can have your cake and eat it too. Her household runs in a way that most wouldn't bat an eyelash at... both parents work fulltime but only one does all the childcare and domestic tasks in addition to working... except that the one doing all the extra work is the opposite gender from the norm. Even if she's opened herself up for criti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 01:52 PM
30

I'm really, really hoping the Kate from the article and the Kate who wrote the article are the same person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:30 PM
26

I notice there's no specifics at all in the post to allow us to come to our own conclusions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:49 AM
1

If it were a one-off, I don't see the problem with it. He had a hippy-dippy chance run in with a kook and now has a quirky story to tell from it. However, if he got her phone number or tried at all to communicate further with her, that'd be an absolute no-go. Also, if she has reason to suspect something sexual happened and he's using that story to cover it up, obviously an issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:40 AM
62

He's posted previously in subs for the Philippines... 99% sure it's kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:37 PM
61

A "taboo" sexual history via foreign travel is barely-veiled code for "has traveled to other countries to rape foreign children for money"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:23 PM
6

I think they're probably preteens/early teens. Sounds like the mom waited until they were 10 years old to tell this guy about them, but he'd already been aware of their existence (and apparently did nothing to be in their lives) for 6 years prior to that. BUT I feel like if all this had happened during the 2 years this woman had been dating him, he would have used that as an excuse for not telling her. So I'm guessing the girls turning 10 years old and their mother officially informing the dad p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 01:14 PM
-4

She did him the kindness of educating him on his piss-poor way of looking at things. Not something she had to do but unfortunately his mother never apparently took the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:13 AM
7

I said that abortion itself is abhorrent, not this girl. Oh great, "love the sinner, hate the sin" bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:52 PM
9

A and C can be taken care of with you changing your last name right now, if there's another you'd prefer. B also shouldn't be an issue because the kids should have your name. If your husband wants the same name as the kids, he can change to your's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:37 PM
3

I want my kids to have the same name as both parents but I would absolutely not take someone name (male or female, as a bisexual) So it's either a meshed-together name or we choose a neutral 3rd name. It's not that unusual in the gay community so if I marry a woman, I doubt there will be any pushback.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:31 PM
9

She's low hanging fruit and there's much better targets to be aiming our anger at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 06:43 PM
5

Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:26 AM
21

(My parents, meh, I just accept them where they are.) You shouldn't. Hopefully working on your son's behavior will be good practice for tackling your parents' behavior next. Remember, there's never a right time to accept being disrespected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:15 AM
3

The envelop isn't airtight and the little cage they're in has a mesh screen. Heat seems to be what you have to be more careful with, with mailing them. Apparently you can also mail bees by the pound too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:48 PM
7

Do we really think this guy is the one doing the dishes in that house tho?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:00 PM
13

Amusement, for the most part. Angry men aren't all that different than hysterical, tantrum-ing little boys and to see a grown ass adult act so pathetic is laugh-worthy in my opinion. My father was a yeller and so am I so that doesn't phase me, and I've known what a miserable little excuse for a man he was since I was a preteen so I've never taken him or his anger seriously. Part of that is a... defense mechanism... you might say? In the most serious physical altercation we ever got in when I was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:27 PM
124

When my mother was in a mental hospital, a guy would always bring up inappropriate, sexual things during group therapy. Quite frankly, I think all psych wards should be divided by gender. Vulnerable women shouldn't have their healing impeded by men acting inappropriately and especially shouldn't be outright assaulted just because the place is understaffed and can't keep an eye on the predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 07:43 PM
7

I have no idea what's going on but everyone involved sounds like a trainwreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:20 AM
60

How do I cut all emotional ties with this dude that I mentally recognize to be a piece of shit but emotionally can’t get over? Stop fucking him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:56 AM
16

Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:26 PM
1

Aw, compliments from a master of being entrenched in a "X gender sucks" worldview, I'm blushing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/20 09:00 PM
0

The world as we know it relies on infrastructure. Yes, the world that is rapidly heading towards being inhospitable to human life due to resource mismanagement. Congrats, you burned down the house to solve the rodent problem and think you made "the world" a better place to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/20 06:47 PM
1

Meh. Infrastructure does not equal "the world" and a significant portion of the infrastructure of the U.S. was built by slaves, including slave women. So still not seeing any truth here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 09:22 PM
1

LOL It only became illegal to stick a 7 year old in a factory to work a 16 hour shift less than 100 years ago... in the U.S. (there's still plenty of that going on in the wider "world") Not sure what you think those coal miners wives and kids were doing all day but it certainly wasn't sitting at home, clutching their pearls, and waiting for men to make a better world for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 02:52 PM
2

No one's stopping men from accomplishing anything tho. Go climb a mountain. Paint a picture. Grow some tomatoes. Volunteer and help people. If video game achievements aren't doing it for some guy, it's on him to step up and do something he does find fulfilling. That quote has also been disputed as to whether it's real. And even if it is, it should be noted that it was said by someone who disproportionately was benefiting from warfare, far more than the average person in his society AND was suppo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 02:42 PM
38

Yup! Exactly what I thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:04 AM
10

Keep the pet, if he can barely manage his own life he probably can't manage forcing you to give it back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:11 PM
4

You're being guilt tripped. Block him on everything and know that in 2-3 months, you'll be sighing in relief over dodging that bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:08 PM
9

i feel like i dont have closure to move on without wondering if he’s coming back or not. Hmmm... if only you had any kind of say in whether or not he comes back... Oh, wait! You do. Close this chapter in your life by making the decision that, whether or not he wants to come back eventually, you're not going to take him back. Don't act like you don't have any agency in your own life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:25 AM
5

This pattern has been going on for years. I really don't know what to do. Break the pattern. Call it out for what it is, if necessary. "I know you're trying to bait me and it's not going to work no matter what ridiculous thing you say." Therapy would likely be helpful for you as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:20 AM
18

Yeah, I'd be willing to take full custody of the little girl too but he'd still have to pay me child support for both children AND I wouldn't give any concessions in the divorce for it (since I'd be doing him a favor by cleaning up after his mess) If he doesn't like that... well, Welcome to Single Fatherhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:04 PM
7

What can I say to make him understand that I deserve to be treated better? You say exactly this- "I deserve a friend who treats me better than you are treating me. If you can't treat me better, we're not going to be friends at all, let alone close friends." I am not planning on dropping him yet This is a problem. You need to be mentally prepared to cut off contact with this boy. If you're not, you're just going to chip away at your own resolve and accept shittier and shittier treatment so you ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:23 PM
8

I want you to know that he is a great, kind hearted human being. He is so loving and caring. I doubt you'll do what you know you need to do until you recognize that these are lies. He is not great. He is not kind-hearted. He is not loving. He is not caring. Picture your best friend or cousin or some other woman you love explaining to you that her husband did all those things to her. Would you call that guy any of those things? You hold an image in your mind of a kind-hearted and caring man who d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:06 PM
41

Similarly, I'm technically bisexual but effectively lesbian (because I have no interest in ever having a relationship of any kind with a man) But I still love reading here because 1) men aren't allowed to flood posts with "what about us menz?!?!" nonsense like in other subs for women and 2) I highly, highly believe that "respect starts at home"- ie men are never going to respect women like me that they encounter as coworkers or strangers on the street if their girlfriends and wives don't insist …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:47 PM
45

Apparently if you get a lot of karma you can sell your account (presumably to advertisers?) So I've heard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:30 AM
20

You're a lucky lady to have such a cutiepie in your life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:24 AM
6

You're correct about needing independence but any woman can have a pregnancy that leaves her unable to work sooner than expected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:52 PM
13

To be fair, I think Golden Girls is different from most of these examples as it was specifically trying to fight the stereotype that elderly women can't have successful and meaningful romantic/sexual lives. They had characters of varying levels of sexual openness and Blanche was regularly the butt of jokes about being a tramp, so I don't think it was anything-sexual-goes-for-the-sake-of-being-sexual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:16 AM
10

Would you be okay forcing your child who has been sexually abused to live with their abuser and see them everyday? Not sure who he sexually assaulted in this specific case but, in general, it's not unusual for a younger sibling to be the first victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:08 AM
7

Gaslighting would be if you asked about the blocking from a few years ago and she denied doing it. That being said, I don't think you should engage with this person and should just keep blocking her. It's irrelevant that she blocked you years ago- you're blocking her for entirely valid (and unrelated to the blocking) reasons now. You don't have to explain that to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:44 AM
19

Consensual sex between two adults I can look past. I know some women who loooove the military, cops, firefighters etc. I don’t get it, but to each his own Then she can fuck 'em on her own time. When she's under arrest, she cannot consent to sex (morally, legally it's obvious not set up correctly right now)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:07 AM
5

It's not accepted for grown men to hit on teen girls in public now I don't know where you're getting this from... they do it all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:07 PM
6

They still talk that way and clothing for teens is unfortunately much more revealing than it has been in previous generations. Google red carpet looks for underage actresses in the 90s vs today- girls back then were allowed to look like children (gangly, awkward teens or just cute kids) but underage actresses today are styled as if they were mini-adults. I don't think things are anywhere as improved as you think they are and in some cases, on a systemic level such as fashion, they're worse (I gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:13 PM
4

I slept with him. I shouldn’t have (was that a mistake?). ​ Right toward the end, he became really antagonistic and dismissive toward me, picking fights ​ of all the times we had sex, he came every time except once, and I didn’t come the majority of the time ​ He recognized he hadn’t behaved well, but didn’t apologize. You're over-complicating things- look at the distilled version of your relationship above. You jumped into sex too quickly (which yes, was a mistake), you let him treat you like d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:19 PM
9

I also hate alcohol and party culture and men with Peter Pan Syndrome. I openly talk about that and don't exactly see that as a problem because it makes my intentions more clear. The problem is that they weren't talking about it. He brought it up out of nowhere to "compliment" her by putting down other women's preferences. A good rule of thumb is- if he has to put other women down to compliment you, that's a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:08 PM
14

But this seemed more "anti party culture" rather than "not like the other girls" to me at first glance, which doesn't seem like a red flag to people who are not into party culture. Bringing it up out of nowhere to seemingly compliment OP by insulting other women's preferences is a definite red flag, even to someone like me who actively dislikes party culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:05 PM
13

Let's also be clear though- just because it happened in a movie doesn't mean it was necessarily the cultural norm in wider society. Especially when you've got pervs like Weinstein and Michael Bay who add that shit into movies deliberately to normalize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 02:00 PM
12

But now I don’t know what to do. You know damn well what to do. Stop trying to talk yourself into believing anything else is going to work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:10 AM
22

He wants me to “just get over it instead of dragging things out”. aka "just forget I treated you poorly instead of holding me accountable for treating you poorly" Gee, wonder why he wants you to choose the option that let's him get off scot-free with his poor behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 11:00 PM
1

He's already doing that anyway. He engages If he's engaging, then he's not doing what I'm talking about. Every woman who has dated a man for any length of time has dozens of things she's held back from saying so she wouldn't bruise his fragile little ego. I'm saying you need to tell him all of those and break him down until he stops wanting to engage with you at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 03:22 PM
4

Burn the bridge. All those little things during the relationship that you bit your tongue and held back on telling him? His bad breath, his weak dick game, how much more attractive his brother is than him, how you'd laugh behind his back when he talked about his "music career" because he has no talent, etc- tell him all that now. If you're too weak willed to block him and be done with it, help him to help you... by making him never want to talk to you again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:13 PM
22

I think 98% of the time the woman proposing is because the man is dragging his feet, which is makes the woman having to propose a red flag to me. That being said, I'm bisexual and have eagerly thought about how I would propose to my girlfriend if we ever got to that point so I do know it's entirely possible for a woman to want to propose to her SO (although I could never see myself realistically with a man long-term so it won't be an issue for me)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:31 PM
56

Aw, at first I thought she was like "stop paying for porn and nudes and re-direct that money and energy into your relationship with the actual woman in your life" but from OP's context it sounds like she's actually more "stop paying for porn and nudes because I'll give it to you for free... do you like me yet? Do you? Do you? Please like me! Please validate my existence because my shit father never did!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:15 PM
58

Sir, this is a Wendy's...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:19 AM
6

Literacy is different than reading comprehension. Re-read the Handbook until you actually comprehend what it says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:45 PM
16

Luthor wants to bang his sister tho, which is a hard pass from me. One of my biggest issues with the series is that it tries to have its' cake and eat it too. Either the 5 "count" as siblings, despite being adopted (which should 100% be the case), and the show can have its' heartwarming family drama and sibling healing/bonding... or they don't "count" as siblings because they're adopted and it's okay for them to want to fuck each other... you can't have it both ways with siblings in the exact sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:14 AM
8

COVID really has changed the whole landscape. COVID didn't change anything- it just took away your excuses. Suddenly he doesn't give a damn about you, now that he can't creep on you like a perv? Gee, guess it wasn't your career he was interested in. He's a LVM and you're acting like a NVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:00 PM
187

Contact the missionaries and/or their home base and let them know what happened. You could save another woman from going through that or something worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:35 AM
181

Not only is whatever incel wrote this an idiot... that's not the proper usage of the word "quipped"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:51 AM
3

But then he'd shut down... And not talk to me Sounds like a good thing for you lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:18 AM
26

He is doing something wrong, just because he's subtle enough that you can't pinpoint it doesn't mean it's not happening. You might not feel a talented pickpocket's hand but that doesn't make your wallet any less stolen. Stop trying to explain your feelings to him, he's always going to pick it apart. Make him start explaining himself. Start asking "how is that helpful" and "how are you being helpful right now?" Like in this case: "Everyone knows how to use Discord." Response: Is that helpful? Is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:24 AM
12

Look like babies and talk like idiot 15 year olds (said lovingly) A 15 year old and a 21+ year old do not talk the same way or about the same things, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:18 PM
86

Same thing for a guy obsessed with accusing you of cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:22 PM
4

I've observed C-sections being performed and they're no better. You know how when a piece of clothing has a hole in it and you wanna use it for rags or something, so you stick one finger from each hand in the hole and riiiiiiiiiip it apart? Now imagine a doctor doing that with your uterus...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:57 PM
5

It's about control. I had an incident in my childhood where I fully believe I narrowly avoided my father pulling a murder/maybe suicide with myself and my mother. It was when he was in a position of losing the control, his control, that he'd spent years entrapping us in. And loss of control hurts his ego, hurts the little conveniences he's built in his life to compensate for his laziness (such as a wife who works almost as many hours as him but whom he wants to do all the domestic work), and thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:45 PM
19

This (presumably) guy thinks men should be able to promise commitment and effort, then not be held accountable for those promises later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:22 PM
9

Love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:40 PM
18

I have yet to see this sub worship female serial/spree killers. I have yet to see this sub advocate for taking basic human rights away from men or promote social/legal requirements for certain men to capitulate whenever a woman wants to have sex with him, irrespective of his consent. A biggie with male incels- I have yet to see this sub push the idea that the "solution" to a shortage of HVM is to groom and statutorily rape boys between the ages of 9 and 15 to supposedly turn them into perfect "h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:56 PM
40

I wonder if a tattoo like that would interfere with fingerprinting, in which case the "Cheeto dust fan" would seem like a convenient cover for destroying his fingerprints.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:45 PM
75

I can appreciate an attempt at relaying vital information (he's got a 3 year old kid he has custody of half of every week) in a humorous way but that ending just screams "be my therapist/emotional labor mule"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:44 PM
62

There are at least 5 massive red flags in your story- avoid this man like the plague. Don't have anything to do with him. Don't meet up with him to "catch up". Block him. There's no shortage of fish in the sea, why are you wanting to "take a chance" or "give the benefit of the doubt" to someone you already know is shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:38 PM
4

I want to start a new life but feel I don’t have the resources and clearly continue to choose partners who have no good intentions for me Then you're clearly not ready to date. You need to work on yourself, preferably in therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:24 PM
38

was generous about how much food I could get So this means he set an expectation for what food you ordered, right? (if so, annoying but not unreasonable if he's paying) If he expected you to pay for yourself from the beginning, how the hell does he think he has any right to weigh in on how much you ordered? When I'm out with friends or family and we're getting separate checks, no one has ever tried to tell me how much food I could order. What a loser, you did the right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:01 PM
2

so he asked me if I wanted to ride with him. Once I was in the car This is like a smash cut in a comedy movie, except terrible. The first part of that quote should never, ever have resulted in the second part of that quote. HOW THE HELL DO I SAY NO TO MEN?? HOW DO I NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR SAYING NO? By... saying no to men. Add a third rule. Rule #3 Before Going On A First Date: Say "no" to him. Say "no" to the first place he suggests going or to the first time he suggests or something else trivial.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:12 AM
28

It's not nature, it's just how much they are allowed to get away with. Men have centuries, if not millennia, of getting away with more than women and society turning a blind eye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:50 PM
8

As a female INTJ, I appreciate the company in the shaming circle. Otherwise, I'm just alone with lot of guys like this one...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:23 AM
27

A friend told me that his combo is one of the rare ones so they're super proud to boast about it. Yes, they are. I get the same combo and am female (even rarer and makes me pay attention to who else claims it) and that personality type encompasses traits that makes every loser who gets it think he's a modern age poet-warrior. Like, if a man has ever in his life typed more than a paragraph about Gamer Gate (and was not condemning it)- he's probably INTJ. Hell, one of those cutesy little nicknames…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:20 AM
83

Imagine if a woman said "I have a job and am capable of treating men with base level respect as a human being, aren't I such a rare catch fellas?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:12 PM
7

By that "logic", if the guy was using Tinder for long enough to get rejected 267... wouldn't he be just as guilty-by-association as this woman for using the app? Does he deserve to be raped by his own logic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:52 AM
51

except for the majority of nursing And the minority of men who do enter female-dominated fields like nursing tend to get fast tracked for promotions and advanced positions via the "glass escalator"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 11:26 AM
2

She not only didn’t live it The article YOU posted says otherwise. And Forbes magazine has been called out for materially misleading people about the value of certain people and companies, and even let people post propaganda articles in their magazine to artificially raise their stock. They said Kylie Jenner was a billionaire and then had to retract that shit when the company was actually sold for less. And what does this have to do with anything I said? You seem to be really struggling with rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 10:38 PM
8

the hypocrisy of pushing sexual empowerment attitudes on women that you’re not even living and that come with harmful consequences. This is from your linked 1974 article: The rock of Helen Gurley Brown's faith, the revealed truth for everyone at Cosmopolitan, from the publisher to the elevator man, is that Helen Gurley Brown knows whom she is trying to reach—herself 20 years ago. Both you and that anti-choice charlatan whose article you're hawking seem to think it's somehow damning that Brown do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:20 PM
2

At Cosmopolitan, her job was to spread the message of Helen Gurley Brown, the magazine’s Editor in Chief. Brown’s message to single women was “Hard work and sex will set you free (as long as you don’t have children).” Helen Gurley Brown, Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan Magazine Browder’s job was to sell the idea that for a woman to be fulfilled in life, she has to “(1) work hard; (2) take the Pill or use some other contraceptive; and (3) if the contraceptive failed, get an abortion.” To put it s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:04 PM
14

it doesn’t mean she didn’t correctly identify a problem I'll believe it when you post some actual proof, not some articles which have completely different complaints about Cosmo than what this woman is claiming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:45 PM
13

You seem to be the one lacking an ability to understand nuance. The original article you posted was by an anti-choice person accusing Cosmo of Sin A and Sin B. She is untrustworthy and has no credibility. You've now posted links to 4 articles criticizing Cosmo for Sin C, Sin D, Sin E, and Sin F. Even if we assuming Cosmo is guilty of Sins C-F, which is asking a lot, that still doesn't mean it's guilty of Sins A & B. Are you capable of understanding that? Are you going to call Gail Dines anti-cho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:44 PM
12

I have no idea why someone would post an essentially useless article full of hyperbole. Well, that is straight from the anti-choice playbook...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:18 PM
19

It looks like she just went to another extreme as a response to the nonsense she saw at Cosmo, and has trouble ascertaining nuance. Or not, according to another article about her book: But the real story in the book is how the Cosmo writer found a different way of looking at things and became a Catholic. Walter, who had once said “I want to know God’s reality” and was for much of the book an Episcopalian, led the way. While living in a small town in California’s Redwoods country, the Browders fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:15 PM
14

Except what she's complaining about isn't what any of those articles are accusing Cosmo of, kinda proving my point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:07 PM
10

The only "proof" they ever promoted abortion in that way is the book of a woman who clearly has an anti-choice agenda. Already addressed this. She's got no credibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:55 PM
20

But they BOTH need to be called out for peddling harmful nonsense Except we have no proof that's what Cosmo was actually doing. Because we know this woman has an agenda and is willing to at least obscure the truth, if not outright lie, to make Cosmo look bad, that taints ALL her claims about anything they've done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:51 PM
12

She was married when she had the abortion, where's the "risky sex" coming from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:49 PM
16

Its one thing to discuss it as an option or necessary medical procedure, it’s another to promote it as a minor inconvenience when many times it’s not. The only "proof" they ever promoted abortion in that way is the book of a woman who clearly has an anti-choice agenda. And who herself had an abortion NOT due to any social pressure or message from the magazine, but due to economic hardship. You know, the literal most common reasoning women give for having an abortion?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:44 PM
73

A lot of that article & excerpts from the book read like anti-choice drivel and the fact reviews on goodreads are praising it for things like being an "addition to the growing field of works documenting pro-life history since the 1960s" tells me everything I need to know- this book has an agenda and it's not the pro-woman one it pretends at. She may be correct about the damaging overemphasis on "sexual liberation", assuming she's telling the truth about how much they pushed it, but that boils do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:32 PM
45

They make jokes about my brother and sister, saying they're too lazy and selfish to do it, that I'm the only one. Time to start making jokes about "Hope you guys saved up for a good retirement home"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 03:12 PM
49

Most of the men I’ve seen who are rapists tend to look disgusting Be careful about this kind of mindset. Women who've been raped by attractive men have been called liars because their rapists were attractive (so, of course, no woman would ever not want to have sex with him) or even been told she should take it as a compliment he'd be interested in her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 11:47 PM
24

It's their marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 09:52 PM
3

Agreed. Every adult is capable of keeping their hands to themselves. If you meet trash behavior (porn) with other trash behavior (DV), you're still just rolling around in garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 11:53 PM
16

That is the classic shitty dad turns into super step dad scenario. It really is a hero complex- for as much as fathers get overpraised for doing kid-related stuff that's expected & run of the mill from mothers, they're usually still expected to provide some guidance and discipline to their children or be seen as lacking. Stepdads though? As long as a Stepdad just shows up, everyone falls all over themselves to praise him, even if all he ever does is the "fun stuff" with no serious parenting duti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:25 AM
2

Whenever we get enough into a fight my younger sister always brings up how I'm stupid "I'd rather be stupid than have whatever's wrong with you going on, that makes you so obsessed with MY history of abuse"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:08 AM
125

Public shaming is something I'm 100% behind for shit men who are otherwise shameless but I dislike the part about the kids. The "they don't love daddy anymore" makes it seem like they're pretty young. Prior to a certain age, kids deeply internalize the idea of "mommy is a part of me so what mommy is, I am and daddy is a part of me so what daddy is, I am." Doesn't mean she can't make it clear to them the breakup is on daddy, but the message needs to delivered with a lot of delicacy and nuance her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 12:03 AM
10

Or even “it helped me get over my trauma from my sexual assault.” "Did it tho? Or did it simply re-activate your fight/flight/freeze/fawn defenses because your mind and body recognizes the threat and is trying to survive just like it did last time" In the older child adoption community, people warn adoptive parents there will be a honeymoon phase but that after the child begins to trust/bond- that's when they'll start to really act out a lot of the time, because it's only when they're no longer …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:59 AM
472

This sounds fantastic! I still remember a few years ago when some big name colleges started requiring "affirmative" consent and the stupidity of some of the comments about it- "it's going to ruin the mood" and "next they're going to want a written contract of consent"... as if making sure they weren't raping their partner was such an unreasonable hurdle to overcome. Infants, the lot of them. I'd love to get to this standard in the U.S.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:31 AM
5

Run. Him over. With your car. Pro-life men are terrible and ones who go so far as to actually march for that nonsense need to never have sex with a woman. Period. Because there's always the chance a pregnancy will turn into a "life of the mother" vs "life of the fetus" situation and that's not when you wanna be finding out just how ridiculously committed he is to it. Catholics are especially bad about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:51 PM
1

If nothing else (like emotionally comforting the mother of you child or being there for your baby's birth), why would he not want to be there in case there were complications and she needed him to be her medical advocate? Childbirth can still be deadly even in this day & age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:43 PM
26

There's always a reason if a man can't keep a woman his own age happy and has to resort to abusing a child like this. I hope they never have kids, especially daughters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:34 PM
14

I think it's a subset of Sealioning- "a type of trolling or harassment which consists of pursuing people with persistent requests for evidence or repeated questions, while maintaining a pretense of civility and sincerity. It may take the form of "incessant, bad-faith invitations to engage in debate" - and - "Rhetorically, sealioning fuses persistent questioning—often about basic information, information easily found elsewhere, or unrelated or tangential points—with a loudly-insisted-upon commitm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:29 PM
1

I think it's important to actually try to understand what people are saying first before immediately tearing down what they have to say. Good thing that's not what I was doing. Clarifying a point of your comment for anyone else reading =/= tearing down what you have to say. And even if I was pro-life (which I'm not in case this gets misconstrued), calling someone else's opinion fuckery is a bad tactic for a debate thread. Wasn't talking about your comment, but other comments on the original post…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:54 AM
1

I'm glad we don't disagree. I just think it's important to explicitly state when talking about men who are pro-choice in name only, that that is not what "pro-choice" actually is. There's been a concentrated effort by the anti-choice crowd to cloud what "pro-choice" means, to the point I've seen women with children questioned (albeit by idiots) on how they can call themselves "pro-choice" when they obviously didn't abort their pregnancies. I've already seen some hints of anti-choice fuckery on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:17 PM
6

From your post history here, it sounds like you have a lot more work to do on yourself before you'll be ready for a healthy relationship. Get help, get yourself right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:09 PM
3

What I'm saying is that "pro-choice" men deserve more scrutiny when they force abortions on women or do anything to deny their right to healthcare. But that's not pro-choice. They may claim to be pro-choice but you cannot be pro-choice and force an abortion on someone. It's like a Christian who doesn't believe in God or a pacifist who's a serial killer- it defies the definition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:13 PM
3

I think there should be a separate category for men who are anti-choice or reproductive coercionists. That's still the "pro-life" crowd because, despite their name, they are functionally simply "anti-choice." If the pro-life crowd actually cared about life vs just having a good PR name, so many of them wouldn't be against expanding healthcare coverage (especially to women and children), providing more food assistance, housing assistance, strengthening clean air and safe water standards, etc- all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:18 PM
2

My standard for sex partners going forward is "respects the sanctity of life and the full burden of responsibility/consequences that come with sexual activity without debating my bodily autonomy" That's literally "pro-choice."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:10 PM
29

They’ll also tend to understand and respect the impact pregnancy will have on your life and body because they conceptualize the fetus as a person. I have never come across a pro-life man who wasn't woefully ignorant of the impact a pregnancy can have on a woman or the potential risks it carries. Just because he sees a fetus as a person doesn't mean he sees you as more than a walking incubator. Let's also remember that plenty of pro-life men pressure the pregnant women in their lives (usually the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:30 PM
10

Pro-choice 100%. Being pro-choice is about respecting and protecting a woman's right to control her own body and I don't think a man can be a good husband or father (to a daughter, at least) without believing in that. To me, it's an extension of things as obvious as pro-sex-with-consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 09:43 PM
89

Trying reading some accounts from former porn stars- the drug use to cope with physical pain from partners who were too rough/big, the vaginal lacerations, the vaginal and cervical bruising... A porn star talking about how much she likes big dicks is like Jamie Lee Curtis talking about how much she likes Activia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:49 PM
3

Rats are absolute darlings!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:40 AM
19

Recognizing white privilege isn't shitting on white people but it is revealing that that's how you look at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:35 AM
2

If he's buying you expensive gifts when you'd prefer he use that money to pay down his debt, yes, you're meant to communicate that preference to your partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:19 PM
1

Sounds to me like you have been trying to tell an adult how to spend his money... just not in a way that was clear to him and/or in any way productive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:07 PM
1

he's a grown man, it's his choice to buy me gifts and he should have made better choices. ​ If he's buying you expensive gifts when you'd prefer he use that money to pay down his debt, yes, you're meant to communicate that preference to your partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:53 AM
1

He had the debt from before he met me, and as he spends so much on me for special occassions he has not paid it off until recently, when he has finally started to be more sensible with his money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:47 AM
7

Ugh, apparently Sakura's never met/bonded with another woman she wasn't willing to immediately throw under the bus for Sasuke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:33 AM
2

You seem to be missing my point, perhaps willfully so. So I'm just going to repeat: If he's buying you expensive gifts when you'd prefer he use that money to pay down his debt, yes, you're meant to communicate that preference to your partner. And I'm done. Cheers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 11:31 AM
2

I'm not going to tell an adult how to spend his money. ​ I've been reminding him regularly. Sounds to me like you have been trying to tell an adult how to spend his money... just not in a way that was clear to him and/or in any way productive. Also, having a frank and open discussion with your SO about financial priorities isn't "tell[ing] an adult how to spend his money"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:00 AM
6

Not being able to talk about problems would be such a deal breaker for me (for what it's worth even very introverted and shy people can usually talk to their SO even if that's the ONLY person they can really talk to) If you can't talk about problems, you can't even begin to find solutions. It's like he's tripping you at the starting line of a race, before you can even start running. The breaking promises is also a big deal. If he's repeatedly broken promises to you about drinking, then in my vie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:18 PM
2

If he's buying you expensive gifts when you'd prefer he use that money to pay down his debt, yes, you're meant to communicate that preference to your partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:01 PM
2

I'd much rather he paid his debt off so we could actually have a home together. Did you tell him that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 10:52 PM
13

I think our next evolutionary step as women is to have our clits evolve to glow in red when we're aroused to help men find it. LOL There's an alternate universe where this has already happened and the story of Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer ends very differently there... but I'm sure it's a nice change of scenery for Mrs. Claus...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:39 PM
1

Did you ever learn to drive for being up North? Honestly, I do think it's a bit hypocritical to be mad at him for taking so long to pay off his debt at the same time you were benefiting from his generosity. Certainly nothing wrong with getting expensive gifts for special occasions but it's not like you ever told him to skip a holiday to pay his debt down instead so you could move faster (particularly as it sounds like you also weren't finishing your pre-Northern move checklist with the driving l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:30 PM
46

LOL at expecting abortion after the fact. I'm staunchly pro choice and I still don't see myself going through with it at this point in my life. I can't help but think abortion is worth consideration if only because having that baby is going to tie her to that man for the next 18 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:12 PM
5

sasuke and sakura’s relationship was just a one sided toxic attraction Yep, which makes it come across like Sasuke just used her as an Uchiha-baby incubator and she let him. Gotta have them Sharingans... Like, minutes before his "redemption" Sasuke apparently trapped Sasuka in an illusion where he kills her (potentially a repeating illusion, so killing her over and over) by punching a hole through her chest with his fist. Soooooo romantic, right? I think the worst part for me was that Sakura jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 10:39 AM
8

Never forget that Sakura's own daughter doubted she was her biomom- that's how little evidence of her parents' relationship the kid saw. And Sakura's husband has the power to teleport! But hasn't visited his wife and child in over a decade. Didn't stop his little wifey/slave (who has a full time job and cares for their child while he's a wandering hobo) from seeing him off with a packed lunchbox she made. Kishi admitted he was shit at writing romance... so why end the series so romance-heavy? Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:07 PM
1

you made it as strongly as the other 2 women did Nope, I said: There does need to be a peak but there's nothing to suggest it isn't, say, the mid-20s to mid-30s That use of the word "say", means "for example". As in, "there's nothing to suggest the peak isn't, for example, the mid-20s to mid-30s" Which is different from a claim that the peak is mid-20s to mid-30s As for your "expert", maybe you should have read the whole thing. The fact he's a sociologist is a problem because when he says "The l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:22 AM
2

you have nothing to back your idea Which is why I never made that kind of claim. Some experts attempt to claim it's also the late teens I highly doubt that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:49 AM
10

I'm not a scientist. I'm certainly not an expert. Then it was really weird for you to call the early 20s the "biologically optimal time" with nothing to back that idea. There does need to be a peak but there's nothing to suggest it isn't, say, the mid-20s to mid-30s (especially given the mental and emotional immaturity of people in their early 20s) I'm just noticing and remarking that our society sends us the message that we're gonna have to pay a price to do so, and I'm wondering why. Because w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 04:33 AM
4

during what is arguably the biologically optimal time for them to have children Anything to back that argument up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 01:16 AM
3

The criteria is “have played games,” I’ve played videogames but I don’t play them daily, weekly, or monthly Still not sure what this has to do with anything (or what this actually means...) You said video games were a male-dominated hobby. I corrected you that there's close to an even gender split for people who engage in the hobby of playing video games. Nothing you've brought up since then - stats that amount to the "revelation" that women are hesitant to self-identify with a subculture that's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:42 PM
5

And? That has no bearing on whether video games are a male-dominated hobby, whereas the genders of the people who engage in video games does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 07:19 PM
2

Then fair is fair and it sounds like it's not an issue in your relationship, but that is not the norm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:39 PM
151

Also men: made the rule that women can't be drafted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 04:37 PM
4

Does he watch while you play video games by yourself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:45 PM
5

It’s through the context of what is a male-dominated hobby. Actually the gender split on video games is nearly 50%/50% now (in 2018 it was 45/55, highest for female gamers was 2014 at 48/52)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:38 PM
11

I think it's part of the "I'm not like other girls" phenomena- so much of our culture shits on teen girls and everything teen girls like or find important, so some young girls have a defense mechanism of disavowing other girls (the "all my friends are guys" girl) and/or their hobbies or interests (the "I'm not like other girls" girl) in a desperate attempt to avoid being treated as poorly as other teen girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:32 PM
46

It's not about the cookies and please don't let him pretend it is. It's about the fact you told him about something that was important to you and that you put a lot of time, attention, and energy into... and he (at best) ignored you and accidentally damaged something that meant a lot to you, which could have been avoided if he'd listened to you, and (at worst) deliberately damaged something important to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 01:46 AM
5

Sounds like you miss being infatuated. Which makes sense because the older and more experienced you are, the less likely something is to trigger an infatuation in you (since you've probably seen it before by now) It's a double edge sword. Infatuation doesn't automatically mean you'll be compatible long term with that person (as you know since you're not with those previous partners) but neither should you push yourself to settle for someone who doesn't spark at least some sort of desire for more…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:32 PM
45

To which he made an interesting point: "Vulnerability is not a weakness, it's a strength. Strength that shows you are not scared to expose your feelings and emotions." This would be a bit of a red flag to me. LVM are really, really good a co-opting and using terms and ideas of empowerment to manipulate women. Women can be vulnerable with their family, friends, kids, pets, therapists, etc without ever needing to make themselves vulnerable for some rando off the street. I'd prefer an SO to respond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:33 PM
13

Letting people use me and abuse me, take credit for my work. I'm aware that I do it, but it's one of those spur of the moment things Practice, practice, practice- practice saying "no", practice standing up for yourself, practice confronting someone who took credit for your work. Roleplay with a friend or relative so the words actually come out of your mouth and you're familiar with the feel of them for when it's time to really say them. Then practice deliberately using them, particularly "no"- d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 08:09 PM
6

Why did he feel the need to share that? For the same reason flashers do what they do- he gets off on acting sexually inappropriate with unconsenting people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:29 AM
11

Men just want pets they can fuck. And who cooks and cleans for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:09 AM
4

Plus somehow, despite being insecure, he's got a massive enough ego to think having a penis makes him smarter and better than any women and he's damn well going to (try to) keep them in their places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 02:16 AM
14

I have larger breasts and the only time I don't wear a bra is when I'm sleeping. Sometimes after a shower I'll hang out completely naked but after a couple hours I literally start to feel this "pinched nerve" feeling all along the underside of my arms from the weight of my breasts pulling on the musculature/tissue of my back/sides. I've never worn an underwire or "sexy bras" so that might be why I don't hate them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 02:35 PM
3

Great, men & your relationships with them should never be involved with how you view and feel about yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 02:59 AM
13

There's an article titled "I Waited Until My Wedding Night To Lose My Virginity And I Wish I Hadn’t" you might find interesting. The woman talks about how she built part of her identity around her promise to stay a virgin until marriage so after she married and had sex, she no longer felt "special" and struggled a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:53 PM
40

This is the exact kind of guy that, if the worst happens in 10-15 years and she becomes disabled or has cancer or whatever, will destroy her & her self-worth mentally and emotionally before trading her in for a "newer model"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:38 AM
3

She flipped her shit asking why I would refuse to take a "good man's" last name. If you have a good relationship with your father, you can always tell her "A good man gave me his name on the day I was born, remember?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 04:47 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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