I went on a date today. I spent an hour doing my hair, makeup, and made sure I was wearing a nice dress with cute sandals.

The guy showed up in a plain t shirt, washed out jeans, and boat shoes. His face was scruffy. He didn't even bother to shave. He seemed incredibly bored with me no matter how much I talked about myself and telling stories which usually peak others' interests. I led the majority of the conversation asking him about himself.

He split the check. My meal was $10. After everything else and that, I was done. I blurted out I was going to get boba. He wanted to come. I felt guilty for saying I wanted to go by myself, so he asked me if I wanted to ride with him. Once I was in the car, he tried to make moves on me. Even after that awful, awful date, he started to make out with me. When I pulled away in reluctance, he pulled me back in to try to go for more. It made me so uncomfortable. Even after that, I kept pulling away and he leaned over until I was almost to the window. It was super creepy. After this, we went to get boba in separate cars. I almost messaged him to not do it, but then I thought that would be mean.

We get to the boba place and it wasn't open. He then asked to hang out at my place. No, no, no after the stuff in the car, I finally said no so I wouldn't have to put up with his weird, low effort moves at my place. I said no and his face fell and it made me feel really bad, but I wanted to leave as soon as he said he wanted to split the check. It felt way too cheap to me.

HOW THE HELL DO I SAY NO TO MEN?? HOW DO I NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR SAYING NO? HOW DO I GET USE TO IT?

Two more rules before going on a first date now: a video chat and no kissing on the first date.