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virtisix Archive

View 6 posts and 30 comments by virtisix on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

NO REGERTS
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 08:04 PM
1

Ah, gotcha. Same here. Stbx used to say "assume positive intent", but nothing I say or do is positive to her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 07:45 PM
2

Sorry to hear that, I hope you are better now. I only drink socially. Stbx is the one who keeps wine stocked in the house. I *am* waiting for the other shoe to drop about infidelity, though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 05:02 PM
1

The situation is very nuanced, but I've found it easier to deal with stbx if I just tell myself she's crazy. Last week, I stopped trying to understand her, or to work together on our relationship (as spouse or co-parents). My life got so much easier, stress went down, and I was able to stay calm when she was verbally abusive toward me, which prompted us telling the child about the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 05:00 PM
2

I'm really sorry you're going through that. I hope your life improves. Without knowing any more context of your situation, even I would see that as manipulative.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 03:54 PM
1

Yes, looking for therapy for me/her/us. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 03:10 PM
1

I'm trying to walk the line between honesty and blame. It seems very thin. Is it wider than what I'm seeing?
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 12:27 PM
1

Thank you for the advice. I am taking it. But I'm also curious why you think not having a lawyer has worked for others in my situation?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 06:59 PM
2

I'm in the same place as you. I don't want anything to do with her, but I'm looking for differing opinions for the sake of my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:23 PM
1

I am a divorce newbie and thought that the process was: file for divorce > mediation > trial if mediation fails She has so far seemed very willing to be fair and discuss how child custody, asset split, and overall how to separate. But I don't feel our marriage counselor was advocating for both of us. I expected counseling to be a process of self-discovery, which leads to discovery of the partner through better communication. And that's not what we got out of him. Did you go through mediation? Wa…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:37 PM
2

I think you're right about lack of respect. I'll keep that in mind, thank you for the perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:30 PM
2

Ironically, my stbx used that same reasoning for wanting to divorce me. She said she isn't healthy around me, and doesn't want to feel anymore like she's pretending, partially so that our child doesn't learn that as acceptable behavior. (Of course, I never asked her to pretend; I am very heart-on-sleeve. I knew we needed help identifying our issues and then communicating better. She apparently just needed the right marriage counselor to help counsel us toward divorce.)
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:11 AM
5

I really don't. I'm just trying to understand everyone's opinions, including theirs. My best reason would be for our child's benefit. Still figuring out that part.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:58 PM
2

Thank you. I'm working on lawyer appointments this week. And have also been documenting and recording a lot. Stbx *may* get nasty. I don't believe she will. But then again, I used to believe in "for better and for worse". So, I agree with you. I peeked into some of the divorced women subreddits, and am not sure I'd be welcome there, despite the similar situation. Maybe I'll try anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:20 PM
1

Okay good. You are not my stbx's ex, and I'm not the loser she worked better with. But our stories are very similar. Sounds like the same woman. I'm learning now that this is pretty common with Western women. I never thought I'd have to be concerned about that before. I hope you continue to do better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:50 PM
1

It's nice to read about someone doing so well. I hope to be in the same place someday. Your story sounds like my wife wrote it. My wife is already there, and probably has been there since 2006. Then she said yes when I proposed in 2008. I think she didn't know herself or her issues until recently, so she is only now planning to file for divorce. Can I ask for some insight into what you experienced? Specifically, why you married in the first place, contrasted with how happy your current single li…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:22 PM
2

Hey man. You might be my stbx's ex. How bizawkward would that be?!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:14 AM
4

Makes perfect sense. I just recently started building a relationship with my in-laws, and then this happens. Our whole support group here is really just hers. Not sure if I'll ever marry again. What's the point of it, if one party can just say "irreconcilable differences" and be done with it?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:03 AM
2

Oof, sorry to hear that. When I have moments of being excited about this divorce, I look forward to having a gym membership and just spending more free time there. I'm so used to having my daughter 24/7, split custody will be heartbreaking but hopefully also liberating.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:40 AM
3

I don't think my wife stbx is trying to take advantage of me or not give me what I deserve. But it still makes me angry that we made lifelong vows to each other, and she can (from my perspective) just forget all that and be so selfish. My dad has been repeating the US divorce statistic to me, so often. It's just one other thing I never thought I'd have to worry about in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 12:42 AM
2

That's what I'm afraid of. Can I ask, in what way were your relationships with your daughters strained? Was it the same or different for each? Were there different, particular causes for the strain between you and each daughter?
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 11:12 PM
4

It is so hard to get over that step. It's a very jarring experience, going from "you are my life partner, together, forever" to suddenly "we are not on the same team, and you might even be my enemy so I have to record everything".
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 10:26 PM
5

Your comment sounds like I wrote it. Except for, I haven't asked my wife stbx directly if there's someone else. I'm starting to think I should really do that and record it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 09:58 PM
2

I struggle with the idea of a clean break. It's not for me, but I understand how it can be that way for others. I appreciate your reply. You gave me other advice a few days ago, too. Any time I get excited about new possibilities outside the USA (like starting over in Finland, Japan, Philippines), I can't imagine being away from my daughter. I know she'll be great here, maybe even without me. Her mom and grandparents love her, and she won't want for anything. Maybe my daughter won't need me for …
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 09:14 PM
2

Thank you so much. I understand completely about valuing more my time with my daughter. I'm already doing that now, and I see a difference in myself. I also get excited about these new possibilities. Mommy never wanted to go camping, so last night, daughter and I were talking about just going! Or me cooking for two non-picky eaters instead of always considering Mommy's preferences. It's still hard to plan daughter time in depth with her, because we're not yet at that point in the divorce convers…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 09:06 PM
3

Thank you. I'm starting to see that light at the end of the tunnel, while still believing the tunnel is a completely unnecessary mess. I've had a few moments of excitement thinking about new possibilities, that are so far overshadowed by the thought of not being with my daughter every day. I knew (and am supportive) that she'd need independence from me someday, but I never imagined it would come about this way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 08:10 PM
1

Curiosity, that's all. But you're right. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 04:09 PM
1

Since you're still here, please help me understand. I am dense. I googled "redpill" and also checked the banned subreddits mentioned in the rules here (I am afraid to check the quarantined one). I am mind-boggled, trying to think of how those definitions could apply to a divorce subreddit. I'll ask a mod; I don't want you banned for giving me a hypothetical example.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:05 AM
1

Thank you. I appreciate your advising being amicable, and other input. Need to look for supportive lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:01 AM
1

Thank you for the advice. I'm still unsure what redpilling is; did I do that? (Been busy reading and researching other things away from this post.) Wife was looking for me to find work. At one point about four weeks ago maybe, it felt like pressuring me to find a job. That was before all this even started for me. I will look into lawyers. Thank you for the support and tip on specifically finding one to support my desire to be a present and active parent.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 11:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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