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xLadyVirgil Archive

View 8 posts and 209 comments by xLadyVirgil on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Hypothetically, that would take a long discussion between all parties involved to figure out the best solution for everyone. Perhaps he forgoes that job due to commitments to his family. Perhaps my child's father thinks it best that my son move with us for X reason. Perhaps we decide my child staying with his father is the best solution for X reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/13 07:42 PM
3

You can be loyal to more than one person or faction at once. Can a man not be loyal to his parents, his job, his dear friends, his wife and children, all at once? A woman can be just as loyal to her partner as she is to her children; the only difference is she has a responsibility to protect her children at all costs, which, outside of abusive circumstance, should not generally come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/13 07:33 PM
1

Interesting. Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/13 07:12 PM
7

If he no longer wants any more children, than perhaps he'd be glad that I have a child with another man, since he won't be held financially accountable should we split up, yet still gets to enjoy the benefits of fatherhood while he's with me? For a lot of men bearing children is not the main benefit of having a long term partner, especially if he's already procreated.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/13 07:11 PM
5

Right, I should have been more clear. There's a common phrase passed around on r/trp, that the 'alpha fucks, beta bucks', which I took to mean that the alpha male spreads his seed, and only beta men take on the offspring of their partner's previous partner (minus things like widowhood or other extenuating circumstance).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/13 07:20 AM
1

Majority of both the homeless and the super-rich.
/r/MensRights16/06/13 08:09 AM
1

My opinion: in our society the wealthy are the most privileged class the the homeless are the least privileged. Both transcend gender, sexual orientation, and race. Maybe because of this and the fact that men make up the majority, most people figures it 'cancels each other out'? Which is wrong by the way IMO.
/r/MensRights16/06/13 03:59 AM
1

They aren't directly comparable (abandoning parental rights and abortion), but due to biological differences I don't know if there can be. Honestly I think a father should have until the baby is born to abandon his parental rights, but not after, as his continuing support may be essential to the kind of life they envisioned the child having. Fair is fair and all that. Child support in and of itself is not a bad thing. My father abandoned me when I was 7, after planning to have me and my sister w…
/r/MensRights14/06/13 02:44 AM
0

Well we have joint custody, but I'd way rather have time to myself than a few extra dollars a month. It's a win-win for everyone. If I had sole custody I'd probably be entitled to less than $100/month from him (he's low income). Not that I want sole custody, but you can understand that time away from my child to recharge is quite a bit of a better deal if I was the controlling mother stereotype.
/r/MensRights10/06/13 11:08 PM
0

As a co-parenting mother... no, not a bit.
/r/MensRights10/06/13 09:30 AM
1

I honestly would rather die than live to see my child die. I know it's an emotional appeal but I'm not sure you can quantify one's grief vs death.
/r/MensRights29/05/13 07:29 AM
-1

The deceased are deceased, only their survivors are affected after death. I don't think anyone can adequately describe how terrible it is to die vs how terrible it is to lose a beloved child, so it's moot point to try to compare. Both are horrible things, that much is certain.
/r/MensRights29/05/13 12:50 AM
-5

All that I'm saying is that men aren't the only ones that suffer due to war. The common people suffer plenty- man, woman and child. Many people describe losing their children as worse than death... so I think it's relevant. Of course men primarily suffer due to lack of autonomy and gender roles of course played a part, but it was the government in question was responsible for their deaths.
/r/MensRights29/05/13 12:19 AM
-9

She's not correct, but war is pretty terrible to everyone that either loses their life or loses someone (sometimes several people) to war. Women have definitely traditionally suffered, though I'll agree that being in combat is definitely the most horrible option. But, can you imagine losing your spouse, your child, to a cause you do not agree with? The problem here isn't gender, but the lack of autonomy given to soldiers of the past.
/r/MensRights28/05/13 09:48 PM
2

This is one thing I must absolutely disagree with feminists on. We all objectify one another by finding certain people attractive. Looking and thinking are harmless pasttimes that lead to harmless sexual fantasies. To me, 'objectification' would imply thinking of the other person as a sex toy, not a person, and feeling entitled to have your way with their body. Looking and fantasizing is admiration and preferences. There's no need to refrain from healthy sexual fantasies, and I will agree that t…
/r/MensRights28/05/13 12:18 AM
2

Close in age laws: 14 y/o's can be with anyone in the 12-19 year old age range. 15 y/o's can be with anyone 13-20 13 y/o's 12-15 12 y/o's 12-14 16 years old is the age of consent. The only people the law excludes are those in positions of power. Priests, teachers, doctors, basically any profession that requires professional/non-sexual relationships. And of course, incestuous relationships.
/r/MensRights24/05/13 08:33 AM
3

Vanilla feminism is just as moderate as any other human-rights movement, but I will say as a woman in a field where feminist theories are rather prominent (social work), it's somewhat expected of you to identify on the spectrum. Most of my classmates believe in patriarchy theory and certainly aspects can follow through with fairly logical conclusions. I have a tough time with the title 'egalitarian' because of this, but that's basically what I am.
/r/MensRights24/05/13 08:24 AM
2

Googling 'documentary about sex workers in France' might find you a winner. :P
/r/MensRights24/05/13 08:13 AM
5

Of course she should, and a man should ascertain beforehand if his partner is on birth control and/or unable to have children if he doesn't want them. Birth control is a two-way street- expecting the woman in question will have an abortion is asinine if it hasn't been explicitly agreed upon. Like I said, I believe in having the ability to opt out of parental rights and obligations, but I believe even more strongly in responsible birth control practice. And both men and women play a hand in this.
/r/MensRights20/05/13 04:59 AM
-1

It's not relative to 'rights' per se, but many men can and do get away with not paying child support or helping in any custodial way in many different ways. Source: was financially and physically abandoned by my father, who planned to have 2 children within a marriage with my mother. And he's far from the only one. I really do believe that men should have the ability to opt out of parental responsibility, but the fact is that men can be just as guilty as women for irresponsible breeding. If you …
/r/MensRights20/05/13 03:48 AM
1

Fewer and fewer people are getting married these days though, and for sound reasons. So it would make sense that more people are having children outside of marriage.
/r/MensRights16/03/13 09:46 PM
1

I find it ridiculous when people claim men can't be trusted to take a birth control. Umm... based on what research?
/r/MensRights08/03/13 08:32 AM
2

That is really helpful, and a pretty great example of how much things change if you reverse genders (not all examples on the internet hold much water). That said, I do want to ask, are there specific male characters from specific shows or movies you think fall into that category? And if so, do they possess those characteristics BECAUSE they are male?
/r/MensRights08/03/13 08:31 AM
2

That's fantastic. I'll look into media regarding the male birth control pill. I know it's the general attitude surrounding it anecdotally (surprisingly, often propagated by men themselves), but I've never actual seen evidence that would hold up in an academic sense.
/r/MensRights08/03/13 08:25 AM
1

I think that's one reason why the drunk sex=rape law is intact. But when we make that the baseline, it leaves a lot of people with decent intentions in harm's way.
/r/MensRights22/01/13 01:47 AM
1

That's pretty much date rape though. Different story right? However, if she willingly partook in alcohol and drugs, then it's her choice.
/r/MensRights21/01/13 10:52 PM
1

It has to be said... the poor 1% ;_;
/r/MensRights21/01/13 05:45 AM
5

Here are my thoughts on the matter. If an individual makes it clear that they want sex, no matter how drunk, insane, high, or tired they are, it isn't rape. Should you ever find yourself in a situation with a person who is clearly messed up and asks you for sex, do the right thing and offer to take them home instead (or ignore them). But people should not be held responsible for another's choices.
/r/MensRights21/01/13 05:41 AM
1

I appreciate that. Like a SIR.
/r/MensRights09/01/13 11:28 PM
2

But I'm a lady!
/r/MensRights23/12/12 12:31 AM
2

Isn't that the same thing as rape? :P
/r/MensRights23/12/12 12:29 AM
2

I lurk SRS. The community are assholes, but some of the points they bring up have some merit.
/r/MensRights23/12/12 12:28 AM
5

That's gold.
/r/MensRights23/12/12 12:27 AM
1

Thanks for pointing that out!
/r/MensRights22/12/12 09:29 AM
6

I'm a mom of a four year old boy, and his best friend in preschool is a little girl who shares his birthday. Sociology would say you are incorrect. One of the best things feminism ever did was bring women into the roles you are describing, in my opinion.
/r/MensRights22/12/12 05:23 AM
30

It's a very egalitarian movie. Mulan wants to fight in her family's name so her father will not be killed in battle. It shows that such gender roles are negative to everyone involved.
/r/MensRights22/12/12 02:45 AM
1

Hey sexy. ;)
/r/MensRights22/12/12 02:18 AM
0

I don't think we live in a rape culture, but there really is a problem with the amount rape occurs. In Canada, stats say 1 in 5 women are sexually abused or assaulted in their life. (No stats on men, so don't downvote me into oblivion). Even if the results are skewed with false accusations and non-violent 'sex crimes' (ie statutory rape), it's probably more like 1 in 10. That is still way, way too damn high.
/r/MensRights18/12/12 03:17 AM
1

One thing that comes to mind is that women hardly get praise when it comes to child-rearing and house-keeping duties, it's expected of them, while men can expect to be considered exceptionally good husbands and fathers for performing the same duties. However, I think this is degrading to men and women alike. It presumes that men are not naturally able to perform these tasks, and that it's a woman's job to be able to do so.
/r/MensRights16/12/12 01:31 AM
1

That is messed up.
/r/MensRights11/12/12 10:49 AM
3

I love this video. He sums up my thoughts.
/r/MensRights09/12/12 01:51 AM
3

Well, while I agree with you and in my relationship hitting is by no means acceptable, I wonder how I would feel if after many years of an otherwise healthy relationship I would feel about my boyfriend striking me once if I was 'in his face' so to speak. I can't see it ever escalating to that scenario, so perhaps I'm a bit jaded- I would be willing to chalk it up to flying tempers if it happened once only.
/r/MensRights09/12/12 12:52 AM
1

I think this is a great idea.
/r/MensRights02/12/12 07:11 AM
1

Now, here's a quick question I have for you, since I'm not clear on it. Doesn't MR advocate sharing the load in dangerous, important professions like this? If so, how do you suggest making it possible otherwise, if women simply aren't as physically able as men are?
/r/MensRights02/12/12 06:11 AM
0

Right. Well, your insulting comments and childish attitude has surely changed my stance on this! Thank you for being so mature and reasonable and providing adequate rebuttals and stances for your position. Surely, you're going to be the one that gets us to wake up to the important issues of advocating violence against men with internet memes. /s
/r/MensRights02/12/12 04:16 AM
0

/sigh check my other posts in r/mr. I'm very supportive of them. But seriously, this is ridiculous nitpicking, PC bullshit. By the sizable amount of downvotes you got, I'd willing to hedge my bets on most people agreeing with my stance as well.
/r/MensRights02/12/12 04:10 AM
0

Women can be misogynists as well. FYI, I'm an egalitarian, and not too obsessive about it either. If you can find some legit proof that the memes I linked above have raised some feminist ire, I may see some legitimacy of your complaints. By all means, have a sex change. MR is LGBT friendly!
/r/MensRights02/12/12 03:57 AM
0

Ouch. I'm so wounded. MISOGYNIST.
/r/MensRights02/12/12 03:51 AM
0

Take a look at my history and you won't find me posting anywhere in feminist subreddits. You, on the other hand, post exclusively in MRA. Who's the extremist now?
/r/MensRights02/12/12 03:44 AM
0

Right. When and where?
/r/MensRights02/12/12 03:37 AM
0

You said 'just imagine if a man said this', when in fact, men have made memes exactly like this time and time again about violence against women, and nobody raises a stink. Sweetie, let it go.
/r/MensRights02/12/12 03:03 AM
1

That's exactly what I'm advocating, if that was unclear. Thanks for making it a bit more simple.
/r/MensRights02/12/12 01:46 AM
1

Ever heard of Insanity Wolf? You'll find many instances of that meme talking against violence against women. It's a fucking meme. I like my women like I like my coffee... I like my women like I like my legos...
/r/MensRights02/12/12 12:53 AM
3

I think the first one and the other two ones referring to Islam culture are the only ones that are truly legitimate. Much as I hate to shit on religion, there's a real problem with misogyny in Islam culture.
/r/MensRights02/12/12 12:41 AM
3

No, if the assailant had prior rape allegations against them than I think it could be legitimately used in the court. If the victim had made false or unfounded rape accusations in the past, I think that could/should be used during the process as well.
/r/MensRights01/12/12 10:32 PM
6

If I was sexually assaulted I would happily submit to a polygraph to prove my innocence and my rapists's guilt. Even if it was an emotional 'triggering' experience, it would be far worse to have my potential rapist walk free.
/r/MensRights01/12/12 10:14 PM
0

DUMP THE BITCH!
/r/MensRights01/12/12 10:10 PM
3

In he said/she said cases like this, I don't understand why a polygraph test isn't mandatory for both the 'assailant' and the 'victim'. There's about 20% margin of error, but if both are submitted, I think you could get a pretty clear picture of who's telling the truth. I have no idea why this is not implemented more often. Do I think prior history is important? That's entirely subjective, unless the assailant is a known sexual assaulter, or the victim has a history of false or unfounded allegat…
/r/MensRights01/12/12 10:06 PM
11

I think if a person has a history of false or unfounded rape allegations, than that could be taken as a legitimate offense. However, what you're proposing is the exact reason that rape shield laws should exist. Just because someone is promiscuous does not mean they can't get raped. Hell, I'm a slut, and if I was raped and wanted to charge the person with rape, I wouldn't want the courts to bring up my history of cheating/sexual promiscuity to defend my rapist. In the scenario you proposed, I wou…
/r/MensRights01/12/12 09:46 PM
3

I'm sorry about all your struggles with mental health and being separated from your children. Being a mother myself, I could never understand how a mother could take her children away from their loving father, and how the law could side with her on that. It sounds like you went through some rough times and made mistakes- but I guarantee you that she has as well. The really crappy part about all of this is that your kids will have been with your ex-wife for so long that they may not believe you a…
/r/MensRights01/12/12 09:28 PM
9

That's heartbreaking. I'm very sorry for your struggles. It sucks when all you can do is keep praying that the other parents will either a) figure their shit out or b) fuck up badly enough that you get primary custody.
/r/MensRights01/12/12 03:46 AM
0

I dunno where that came from, but thank you very much.
/r/MensRights30/11/12 04:51 AM
1

But it could be an important first step in correcting people's attitudes.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 09:17 PM
2

I think such an education should be gender-neutral, and I see no reason it couldn't be.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 09:07 PM
1

Or life-altering serious issues, such as having a child before you've graduated high school.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:49 PM
1

What. The. Fuck. Is all I can say. Wow. That is beyond wrong.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:45 PM
1

In 2008, the federal government switched the age of consent from 14 to 16. A 14 year old can consent to sex to anyone 19 or younger, and a 15 year old can consent to sex to someone 20 or younger. At 16 you can consent to sex with someone of any age legally, unless it is an authority figure (a teacher, cop, doctor, priest, counselor, etc). However, you do not need your parent's permission for an abortion unless your are under 14. Kind of an awkward rule, but the incidence of pregnancy under 14 is…
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:34 PM
1

Abstinence only education is not enforced in Canada, though many schools, especially private, may choose to do so. That said, I don't think there are very high quality standards for sex ed. The incidence of teen parenthood is pretty low here, but that could also have to do with many affordable birth control and abortion services (all of which are free), as well as having a fairly sex neutral-positive society.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:26 PM
5

I'm aware of this, but thank you for the refresher. The referral services at Elizabeth Fry do not allow boys over 12 to be with their mothers in safe homes, which is an absolutely disgusting discrimination against males. I mean really, if a young boy in an abusive household can't even hope to be helped except by putting him in a foster home, what sort of motivation will he have to leave his situation? Or the woman, for that matter. It makes me sick. I understand what you're saying about men not …
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:14 PM
2

Haha, ours had a daycare attached for the longest time! They closed it a few years before I started. Spoiler alert: after they had a sex educator come in, a lot less teenagers had children. I was actually the exception to the rule, but that was honest faulty birth control; we were using condoms correctly.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:09 PM
2

My high school sex ed was great. There was a high incidence of teen pregnancy before my school district found a sex educator to address the problem. She taught to the entire school district, usually one period for a week straight for every grade from 6-11. She acknowledged the enjoyment of positive motivations for sex (love, pleasure) as well as the bad (pressure, emptiness), answered all of our questions, talked about STD and pregnancy prevention, all really amazing stuff. This past year she wa…
/r/MensRights29/11/12 07:59 PM
3

Wow... that's a great video. Sad, really. I suppose I'm making too broad a generalization when I say 'most' people think women can be abusive... perhaps that that's the case, but people don't perceive it as a 'real' threat or problem. I have a male friend that has been in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship for 5 years, and I think in that time I have said to him multiple times "She is abusive and you need to leave." I wonder how many times he has heard that from other people.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 07:54 PM
-2

Thank you sir, excellent post, you opened my eyes a little bit. Though it's worth noting that men get away from being convicted with violence against women pretty often as well, though they get the title of woman-beater, where a woman can rarely anticipate being equally labelled.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 07:46 PM
2

I almost wonder why it's not mandatory in high school sex education, considering it would directly relevant to marriage/monogamy, or common friendships. Not saying sex education should exclude all other varieties of sex (in fact, I believe the opposite), but since it's not about more taboo subjects, why the hell shouldn't there be relationship education like this? Education really should focus on more real-life issues.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 07:40 PM
15

This is a great comic, but I will disagree with one point; the hitting thing. Believe it or not, most people believe women can be abusive in relationships and think hitting is unacceptable no matter the gender.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 07:09 PM
3

Also, I've been pondering something for awhile, and I hope it will make sense. I'd be interested in having preventative sex education that focuses on how bad relationships and friendships manifest so people can be aware of what signs to look for in people they know and how they can rationalize leaving and where to get help, as well as unacceptable behavior in relationships and friendships. Since we can hardly anticipate a stranger's intentions, and public rape announcements don't seem like they …
/r/MensRights29/11/12 06:57 PM
5

I read that thread, and was very happy to see that most women aren't like "OMG I've been asked to have sex when I didn't want to so many time, rapist and intent to rape is everywhere." Good job at handling it.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 06:30 PM
0

It's not too hard to identify a joke that's being made. Or do you take everything seriously unless it directly appeals to your sense of humor?
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:36 AM
1

I'll admit, I know next to nothing about RW, but I'd say given the dislike people seem to carry for her (and perhaps rightfully so), this particular instance was taken pretty far out of context.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:32 AM
0

Just because I don't think it's funny doesn't mean it's not humor. Hell, I don't find Seanbaby funny, but he's a humor writer.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:23 AM
0

I never said that I, personally found it humorous. I don't, I'm neutral. The humor is that she appears to be asking a genuine question about how to encourage more women into going into mathematics, make it more woman-friendly, and way to do that is to dismantle a man's genitalia. Since this is an obviously absurd notion, it is considered to be satirical in regards to how the feminist gender-equality theories are often seen as extreme.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 08:13 AM
0

Which?
/r/MensRights29/11/12 07:57 AM
24

This is awesome, but I also just gotta say, Kids Help Phone is just an amazing service in and of itself. They helped my friend get out of an abusive foster home when we were 16.
/r/MensRights29/11/12 02:39 AM
2

Holy fuck. First I'm hearing of this.
/r/MensRights28/11/12 10:41 PM
1

I wish I could weigh in on the subject more heavily then yes, yes, and yes. I cannot say what male ECEP face once they are in the workforce, but I can say that there is a myriad of reasons why a man would choose NOT to enter ECE. Why? Because parents, mothers and fathers alike, see a man as 10x more likely to abuse their children than a woman, and society in general sees child-rearing and child-care to be a maternal calling, and any man who wants to enter it as possibly having ulterior motives. …
/r/MensRights28/11/12 09:35 PM
2

...Are you sure she doesn't find the notion of cutting off a man's genitalia to gain more neutral environment in mathematics humorous because it's a ridiculous notion? And just a 'funny' comic to add to her slides, because it was one of the first things she found of relevance. C'mon now, you don't really believe she wants to remove the genitals of men in order to be viewed as equal?
/r/MensRights28/11/12 02:26 AM
13

You'd have to read SMBC to realize the dude that writes it is a highly intelligent social commentator, as well as a highly progressive individual. He often switches traditional gender roles, parental roles, religious institutions, work force roles, and sexuality expectations in his comic. As a fan, I know that his comics are in no way to be taken literally. You should check out his work! This particular comic is poking fun at radfem ideals, not supporting them. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
/r/MensRights28/11/12 02:18 AM
3

I think it wasn't meant to be taken seriously considering SMBC is a humorous comic.
/r/MensRights28/11/12 01:52 AM
1

Holy fuck! What the hell is wrong with people?!
/r/MensRights28/11/12 01:48 AM
0

Sadly while reading r/mr, r/feminism and other, erm, more aligned subs, it's always the worst comments that stick out for me. It can be such a headache in getting over biases. Whenever I see something that insults my gender, sexuality, financial status, etc, I get pissed as hell.
/r/MensRights28/11/12 01:47 AM
0

They got downvoted, much like sexist/extreme/petty comments get downvoted in subs like this, correct?
/r/MensRights28/11/12 01:27 AM
3

I actually have a partner that's fully acceptinng (and sweetly naive) about the whole thing. Since I only do drag 2-4 times a year, it's not really a huge part of my life. I'd like it if he found it sexy, but it's not likely to be the case any time soon.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 11:41 PM
7

Totally. Western male fashion is severely limited- you got your dress pants and jeans, t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, suits and sweaters, and at any given time, many fashion choices that deviate from the norm will be identified as weird or gay. Not to mention lack of male lingerie! I wish my boyfriend had options for sexy undies (fishnet sides, package accentuation, what have you). You should check out male Japanese fashion. It's a lot more vast.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 08:07 PM
16

I am, in fact, a female crossdresser. I do 'realistic' drag, complete with costume beard, dress pants, vest, dress shirt, tie, fedora, dress shoes 2 sizes too large, and make-up (subtle- eyebrow filling mostly). I will go about my day acting like I think a man acts, walking like I think a man walks, thinking like I think a man thinks, talking like I think a man talks. Why? I'm not really sure. I'm cisgendered. But I enjoy putting myself into a different role, and I'll admit, I have a teensy bit …
/r/MensRights27/11/12 08:03 PM
1

Well, that would be an issue, but I don't think that's liable to come true any time soon. Besides, really, you should think about your comment. If all a woman has to do to get in power is have boobs, than perhaps all a man to do to get in power is have a dick, by your logic. If anything, you should have representation for all people on the supreme court. I'm sure a female judge who gets on the court has to have a good history and good reason to be there... I have no idea why you'd single them ou…
/r/MensRights27/11/12 05:38 PM
1

I could be on board with that. Pay a bill, give gift certificates for food, buy clothes/diapers for the child, buy a pool/gym pass, submit receipts to the court. However, I think you might find that the base living wage for a child to keep up their standard of living is quite a lot. Let's say $100 extra out of $200 it takes to get an extra bedroom in an apartment. $100-$200 for food, $100 for childcare costs, $200 twice a year for clothes, $50 for hydro and another $50 for recreation. If all cos…
/r/MensRights27/11/12 04:32 PM
1

How about you guys take your opinions and instead of 'woman' say 'black man'. Doesn't that sounds... I dunno... discriminatory? Bigoted? I don't understand WHY a woman would NECESSARILY 'own up' or 'prove herself' any more than her male counterparts.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 04:18 PM
1

What about in cases where one parent is unfit or unwilling to care for the child?
/r/MensRights27/11/12 04:08 PM
1

Do you think it has anything to do with resistance/retaliation? Honest question.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 08:20 AM
2

There's all kinds of products made specifically for men and women alike. I fail to see how this is any different.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 08:19 AM
3

It's overlooked child abuse in the most extreme degree. I cannot agree with a parent that chooses to circumcise their child- unless they were truly ignorant and had no access or reason to believe it was a harmful procedure, I consider every parent that elects to circumcise their child child abusers.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 07:10 AM
4

I know you're being sarcastic, but when people make non-sarcastic comments in line with this, it makes me want to vomit directly on them.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 07:02 AM
1

That's a great point. Just reading that changed my perspective a lil bit. I've thought before that the people who work up in the sands are at a disadvantage in their own way- there's money to be had up there, for sure, but you have to give up seeing your friends/family/spouses for weeks at a time, there's fuck all to do, you work for weeks straight, and you have to stay clean from weed (a provincial past time) the entire time.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 06:03 AM
3

Sir, I believe you are mistaken, but once again, I am finding more and more that Canadian traditions and values really seem to differ from that in the States in many areas. In the instance of social work in my country, it is a psychological, sociological, theoretical and therapeutic study, and the practitioners are far reaching. Social workers help assure quality of care and satisfaction of those in our health care system. They are the first voice of a child facing abuse (only the state can dete…
/r/MensRights27/11/12 05:59 AM
0

/slow clap
/r/MensRights27/11/12 05:48 AM
1

The part about emotional violence was about understanding core causes, not specifically male. I'd say when it comes to emotional abuse, men and women are basically 50/50 perpetrators.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 02:00 AM
1

Gosh, I just wish we could dissect this in a more cohesive manner. I feel like I'm missing out on some key details in the MR movement often. It seems that... there's a much lesser degree of men being villianized, a lot more equality of sexes on a societal level, and a little bit more stretching room when it comes to a father's rights. This is just my experience, and I wonder how many Canadian men would agree with me on this. As an example of father's rights; my son's dad and I have a joint verba…
/r/MensRights27/11/12 01:47 AM
1

That's correct, but I also believe the term privilege is applicable in this situation, since a man's physical strength gives him advantages in some fields of work. Also, on the flipside, the final say when it comes to reproduction is a privilege that women have, and does not specifically refer to physical aptitude.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 01:32 AM
2

Reading this sub makes me wonder if there's a lot of cross-cultural differences between the US and Canada. Although you are absolutely more of an authority on the subject, I can't help but feel that most people in my class simply did not feel a male social worker was at risk to be sexually or physically abusive towards their clients. Maybe on a more subtle level, but it certainly is not promoted.
/r/MensRights27/11/12 01:17 AM
4

Absolutely true. I don't argue that the people on the sands (or in military, police, search and rescue etc other male-dominated work) are not worth their salt, but that it does impose some cultural impacts that are applicable to women. Also, I think we should recognize social work and teaching professions as intrinsically valuable/important and reward them as such. I've mentioned in this sub before that I too have dabbled in social work this semester... I did not find those attitudes towards mal…
/r/MensRights27/11/12 01:00 AM
1

I'd put less emphasis on society and more on physical disadvantages of women when it comes to inequality in the work force. However, I have wondered on occasion if some female-dominated workforces are paid less because of the make-up of their employees. Teachers and social workers, for example. Their work is incredibly valuable, yet low-paid (men and women alike). But that's pretty tinfoil hat, I admit.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 11:18 PM
2

...yes. Hence the need for MRA, correct?
/r/MensRights26/11/12 10:33 PM
2

I never said it was sexist. I said it was a natural privilege.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 10:33 PM
1

I think one of the secrets to our success was actually our separation at an early age. He was 5 months old when we went our separate ways, so adjusting to joint custody and the pain of separation was never a problem. But we're also very communicative as co-parents, and overall are quite satisfied with our arrangement thus far. We're both in healthy long term relationships as well, so my son has 2 parents, two other co-parents, and a myriad of other support in the forms of friends, family, and ed…
/r/MensRights26/11/12 09:06 PM
3

Men and women both should feel good about expressing affection towards children, and men do it all the time, perhaps in a different manner, but I think it's acceptable no matter the gender of the adult. This is a needlessly editorialized title.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 08:54 PM
3

Any single anti-male argument I see I disagree with. We should stop generalizing, making information about wrongdoing applicable to all individuals. My personal theory is that it's better to have a bogeyman than 'getting mugged can happen to anyone, anywhere, by anyone.' That places men at a severe disadvantage when it comes to making first impressions and generally being seen as a psychological equals. That said, I think we should address that many perpetrators of violence are men (child abuse …
/r/MensRights26/11/12 08:50 PM
1

I feel like I have such a skewed view because my joint custody agreement has worked SO great (son is well-adjusted, normal, loving, laid-back guy) and I don't understand why more separated don't try it out. Also, to bring up another point, there are various trends in parenting techniques that do not involve discipline, and they are in no way exclusive to any kind of home arrangement the child is in. Attachment parenting and permissive parenting theories to not involve discipline of any kind, jus…
/r/MensRights26/11/12 08:39 PM
0

...I hope you'd enjoy the fact that women have equal opportunity in the workforce for the betterment of society as well. :P
/r/MensRights26/11/12 08:35 PM
6

Devil's advocate here, probably because they are not affected by the same societal disabilities your everyday normal woman feels. They're already top of the food chain, they do not have to compete as much with instances of male biological (and in some cases, societal) privilege. For example, some of the best-paying jobs for working class people in Canada is up on the oil sands in Northern BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba. A lot of women are incapable of meeting the high physical demands o…
/r/MensRights26/11/12 08:33 PM
1

I hate to bring this up again, but what about cases of shared custody?
/r/MensRights26/11/12 08:29 PM
3

I've taken 2 social work classes, and while there is a lot of emphasis on the plights of women, children, immigrants/racialized citizens, the Aboriginal, and the elderly, there is not one section in one chapter that focuses on the plights of men. I still have my main textbook and yeah... nothin' that addresses male-specific problems.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 07:43 PM
3

I fully agree with the concept of financial abortion. Men need more reproductive rights. I'm also against sole/primary custody if both parents are fit and willing. No loving, involved father should be forced to surrender his parental rights and then have to give a large chunk of his income to the mother (or vice versa) in the case of a divorce/separation. We know that women should ultimately have control of their bodies and reproductive rights. It is a female privilege, and in my opinion, rightf…
/r/MensRights26/11/12 07:32 PM
10

Unfortunately this happened in my hometown a decade ago or so. Whoever thinks circumcision is risk-free is lying to themselves.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 07:26 PM
-1

While any amount of sexual violence is a tragedy and a shame, it's important to understand the root causes of sexual abuse, so we can identify them early on in ourselves and seek help for it. Abuse often begets abuse, sad as it may be.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 04:30 AM
1

It's definitely a case of double standard. If those are valid reasons for a woman to commit a sexual crime, then it's just as valid for a man.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 04:21 AM
3

Because I was fairly impressed by the findings of this study, I want to embolden some key points. There were no differences in adjustment of the 91 children in different custody arrangements assessed by Luepnitz (1986) in terms of self-concept, the parents' ratings of children's self-esteem, psychosomatic and behaviour problems, and the emotional climate in the family. The majority of the research literature has found no relationship between the type of custody and child outcomes. In Canada, alm…
/r/MensRights26/11/12 04:18 AM
2

It's not impossible for a man to have an amicable/friendly relationship with his ex, who may be hesitant to try joint custody due to social norms and incorrect assumptions about the harmful effects of joint custody. For those whose co-parent is flexible or wants what is best for their child, this can be a great place to start.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 03:44 AM
4

I figured this would be a good guide and source for men who are looking to have shared/joint custody. There are many social commentators that try to push legitimacy of shared custody, but here is some actual soft science to back it up.
/r/MensRights26/11/12 12:31 AM
1

How is it shaped like a male? It has legs, a torso, arms and a head. It's shaped like a human.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 10:43 PM
3

This is a great ad.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 09:24 PM
1

Because it's not wearing a dress? Or what?
/r/MensRights25/11/12 09:22 PM
1

Looks like a stick figure to me.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 08:55 PM
6

Just wanted to say that I am no way affiliated with this woman, lol
/r/MensRights25/11/12 09:02 AM
1

Ugh, the poll at the bottom of that... :(
/r/MensRights25/11/12 05:49 AM
13

I've met one who was open about it, but people have personal preferences and there's nothing wrong with it. I agree the idea of having to be a perfect shape is overblown. Look at Adele- she's a beautiful, overweight woman. But who focuses on the fact that she's overweight? None other than body image extremists. Now, there's a problem with photoshopping people so that every inch of their body is usually immaculate, thinner, more muscular. That is something that does not effect women alone, howeve…
/r/MensRights25/11/12 05:41 AM
3

At the very least, I'm glad it's been acknowledged by doctors and experts that it is a cosmetic procedure and has no discernible medical advantages. That said, we're still way behind most of Europe, and I'm disappointed. I wonder if we just don't want our laws to appear anti-Semitic or anti-choice, but honestly, fuck that. Make it illegal for Christ's sake. We're talking about BABIES being MUTILATED. That's way more important than protecting someone's bullshit religious rights. That's like prote…
/r/MensRights25/11/12 05:36 AM
20

I'm all of the above- human rights and equity advocate here. We need to acknowledge that EVERY group of people gets their fair share of problems and injustices from various sources and that none of them okay. Men get the shit end of the stick for many things. That's why I support MR.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 05:07 AM
3

From 2006... http://www.nationalreviewofmedicine.com/issue/2006/02_28/3_patients_practice02_04.html Conflicting information...
/r/MensRights25/11/12 03:51 AM
4

This is silly, an object is genderless. Not to mention the description does not mention male at all.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 03:26 AM
41

More men should do this. Don't be afraid of what people say or think. Show the world men can be educators, role models, and friends to children.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 03:11 AM
4

Absolutely. I agree any percent of routine circumcision on infants is too high. But getting the general public to acknowledge that it's an issue is the first step to getting it eliminated/illegal. Sad that the States is not progressive about it.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 12:25 AM
7

The man should have divorced his wife for doing such a backhanded selfish move. However, he was also a dick by ignoring and hurting his child, making him feel worthless. He should have just taken off. No respect for him.
/r/MensRights25/11/12 12:02 AM
3

Where are you from OP?
/r/MensRights25/11/12 12:00 AM
4

Quick question: how common is circumcision in America? In Canada it hasn't been eliminated yet but less than 10% of boy children are circumcised, which is way way way down from 20 years ago. Now, 10% is still way too fucking high, but it's nice to see that the general public is recognizing it as a real problem.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 11:59 PM
3

For me personally, I do not believe that cheating on your spouse=unsuitable parent. And I also do not believe primary custody should be awarded to one parent if both are fit and willing.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 11:52 PM
1

"Male circumcision isn't quite as devastating as female circumcision, therefore it's okay." WTF?!
/r/MensRights24/11/12 08:48 AM
3

I agree with you wholeheartedly. When I see blatantly misogynistic, overtly negative, or just plain speculative, ridiculous, biased arguments on here, it makes me sad. I'm a mom and of course I'm supportive of men's rights, but some of the things on here shock me and make me lose faith in the ideals this movement is all about. Fuck hate speech, period. Broad generalizations make me want to hurt people.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 08:18 AM
1

I actually agree with you. I think he should be paying her more (if nothing else, gift certificate for clothes and food). I'm just wondering the legitimacy of widespread forced child support in Canada, because the rules seem fairly reasonable here.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 07:27 AM
1

I'm a bit torn on that. Because in theory yes, but in practice... how? I mean being removed from an establishment would be a pretty good social code. Perhaps a stern talking to my the police in the case of one or two incidents, corrective action after that?
/r/MensRights24/11/12 04:56 AM
1

I think both instances happen quite a bit (as a woman who has been to a night club, there is a lot of unnecessary touching) but most people can just move on with their lives. It's when it escalates to a more serious level that it really becomes a problem, but I like to think most people can maintain their cool in the event of a no means no situation. If somebody kisses you or grabs you without your permission, a good smack or public embarrassment usually works good enough to put that person in t…
/r/MensRights24/11/12 04:08 AM
1

Can you back up this claim with some proof? As far as I know, this is not correct and no parent could legally block court-ordained access.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 02:34 AM
2

No, it was amicable. He agreed to it and could have fought for joint custody. I'm not sure if he would have been awarded to him or not, they felt it was the best situation for the child. He moved away, a 45 minute drive however, so not technically out of area. They also agreed that one could not move without the permission of the other. This was all settled out of court and notarized by a mediator. I'm not defending her, I don't even like her, but my boyfriend did have a choice. He gets her 2 da…
/r/MensRights24/11/12 02:33 AM
14

Just an observation; you guys should be celebrating progress instead of making sarcastic comments about it. It makes you look like negative nancies.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 01:24 AM
1

Can you clarify that last sentence?
/r/MensRights24/11/12 12:39 AM
2

Because they live in different cities, she asked due to the difficulty of transport, and he agreed to it. No big deal. Sorry, realized my mistake, going to re-word.
/r/MensRights24/11/12 12:16 AM
2

Um, no. But my boyfriend and his daughter's mother have. He asked to not pay, but he agreed to give his ex primary custody. To this day the only thing he is required to pay is $50 a month that goes directly to his daughter's day care provider.
/r/MensRights23/11/12 11:51 PM
2

People make snap-second decisions eh? A kiss is just a kiss, as the saying goes. If instances like this were proven to have the same profound negative impacts of forced or coerced penetration and sexual acts, a prosecution may have validity. But if we all painted people that kissed us when we didn't want to as a rapist, I think that could be equated to hysteria.
/r/MensRights23/11/12 11:15 PM
2

When you put it in perspective by making the person you love the 'perpetrator', it invalidates extremist comments about boys vs. girls because you see you truly can be equals.
/r/MensRights20/11/12 09:56 PM
25

Okay, this is bullshit. It totally minimizes that entire group of people (also don't get me started on the cis thing. Non-trans works) and any suffering they may go through, and places EVERYONE ELSE (seriously, quite the majority of people by my calculations) as victims. That's illogical, alienating, and fucking stupid.
/r/MensRights20/11/12 07:54 AM
1

He's the kind of child that I've always hoped to have, really. Smart, loving, honest, funny, and physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy! I am a lucky mom.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 11:10 PM
1

Because we are going to be living in different provinces, 20 hours away from each other. We agree keeping him in a single school system year-round is the best choice. I find your remarks presumptuous, and yes, sexist. I don't want his money; I've never asked him to pay child support.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 10:53 PM
1

You can re-check my original post. There's verification there. In any case, you have to realize a custody case like this requires creative solutions and intense forethought. I'm not making a deception. Sorry if you don't think I'm a good mom for thinking about what's fair.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 10:45 PM
2

That would certainly be me, and it is one of the main reasons I feel like I would be a better choice for primary caregiver throughout his childhood. He is exceptionally close to my family, I wouldn't want to deprive him of seeing them.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 09:45 PM
1

Totally understood. But I feel like it's best to at least give it a chance. Amicable custody brings on it's own unique challenges and questions, but as I've said before, we are sensitive toward our child's needs and desires. I don't think it would be particularly damaging towards him, so long as he knows he has options.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 09:43 PM
0

lol. Good luck on your crusade to reveal me as a money-hungry careless mother. If you think all single moms are like this, you are seriously deluded. I have the best of intentions. And yes, if he's with my son's dad primarily, I would pay half of child care expenses.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 09:17 PM
-1

Well, I agree with you there, although I was hoping to get some advice from experts. We will still be seeking mutual mediation and counseling to help us arrive at the best conclusion together. I only forsee there being a problem if we are both insistent on primary custody. I want it badly, so I'm hoping to make him an offer he can't refuse. Plus, the only support I'd ask for is half of childcare fees, which I think is fair and pretty inexpensive here.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:50 PM
1

Thank you! And it was 100% a teen pregnancy, haha. He was 18, I was 16. But it was an actual accident, we were using birth control correctly, so we were in a difficult position to make a choice. I kind of knew what I was getting myself into when I decided not to abort. At the very least the hard work and painful experiences it would entail. But I also knew I did, actually, want the child, I wasn't being ignorant about the responsibility involved. I also aim to dispel that all teenage girls that …
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:47 PM
1

This is an option I've considered, at least for the first few years. Fair as fair can be right?
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:43 PM
2

That's really great to hear! I love hearing stories about peaceful co-parenting, because let's face it, they are rare. We shall be communicative with our child about the developing changes every step of the way, and when he's old enough he will be included in our decision making.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:41 PM
1

I shall take it as a compliment that you think I am so far ahead in my age group though that it can't possibly be a 21 year old talking.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:38 PM
1

Haha, I'm willing to verify myself if need be. I understand it sounds suspect, but a) family mediators are free here, unless you decide to go with private practice and b) we weren't discussing actual solidified arrangements, he was just telling me what to suspect. He did say that if my son's dad could prove himself to be a more suitable parent then that would be a factor, but if things were as equal as I say, there's a high chance I will win. Also, that would only be the case if we have agreed t…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:37 PM
1

When the time for us to actually move draws near we will be seeking family counseling and mutual mediation, so fear not.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:50 AM
1

Absolutely. He's very supportive and he and my son are very fond of one another.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:35 AM
2

Thank you! And ha! Just tell him that. :P
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:28 AM
1

Yeah. Dad, sister, best friend since childhood, my spouse will move with me.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:28 AM
1

I'll admit that this thread has led me to give more consideration to the fact that I'd be a student raising a child, but if it was simple as student vs worker it would be a lot simpler. Truth is, my son's dad DOESN'T have a support system where he is going to end up (no family or a spouse) and that makes me believe he would have more if he stayed with me, as well as our individual styles. He collects more energy when he's alone, I collect more when I'm with my son on average. It only takes a bit…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:19 AM
1

Haha, of course I've thought of that, and I think I'd be delighted to try. He loves his dad so much I bet he'd jump at the chance to spend some extra time with him. Also moving to a new, big city can be adventurous and fun. There's no obligation if he's absolutely opposed. My thoughts; I should encourage him to try new things. If he's supported by us, I don't think it's likely to be damaging.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:13 AM
2

Yeah, totally, but I don't see my story really getting a lot of attention/validation. I'll give it a shot though.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 07:11 AM
2

This only happened on Monday, and uhh... I don't really post in other feminist landscapes. I never really thought about it. Like I wouldn't post women's rights issues in here, hehe.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:58 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:44 AM
3

Thank you for saying so. There's no words to describe my love. I also appreciate that I have the difficult task of raising a physically and emotionally healthy boy and setting the bar for his feelings and attitudes towards women. I think it's a special gift that is not to be wasted.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:44 AM
1

Umm... women feel that way about the men they love as well... you sir are thinking in very skewed way, and I just shake my head. You are demonizing women, spreading fear, saying things that are just out of order with equality.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:39 AM
1

He is too young (4) and I think that bringing it up with him now would be confusing bordering on harmful. Certainly too much responsibility for a 4 year old. I wouldn't consider it to be 'uprooting' because at 13 he can, within reason, decide who to live with. I would insist that he at least try it for a year with his dad. If he's REALLY miserable, of course he can come back early, but I'd encourage him to be with his dad. I dunno, I think a kid might love the opportunity. I mean, who's to say h…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:37 AM
1

Absolutely.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:33 AM
1

My mom was a single mom with basically no support, she graduated with her bachelor's of science in nursing when I was 14 and my sister was 10. She was unavailable and stressed at times, to be sure, but if you prioritize and sacrifice I think it's possible to have both. And I have an awesome support system! Takes a village and all that. So... yeah, it might be easier, but I'm going to school to be get my BSW, child welfare specialist. That ought to be just as demanding as school, if not moreso. I…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:30 AM
1

His father will always be in his life as his main role model, I am quite sure of that. I'm not sure if I've made this clear, but we both will have equal access (any time flexible scheduling for secondary caregiver based on request). Neither of us are absolving our parenthood any time soon.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:23 AM
2

Would you say all people are capable of these kinds of crimes?
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:18 AM
1

At the very worst, one of us gets roughly 4 months a year, and we will most certainly be re-assessing within a few years. This is a prime example of a 'grey area' when it comes to politics and morality. It's kind of like scales. One of us has more, money, the other has more support... you know? It takes a tiny amount of weight to tip the scales.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:17 AM
2

That's a really sad situation. I think in that situation you should be at LEAST awarded equal custody. I'm sorry. :(
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:14 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:13 AM
1

In situations like your moms, I can understand the desire to cut contact. If she had been a good mom, I'd say sometimes it's just the best possible outcome, outside of the lies/slander and refusal of contact.. I'm sorry you got saddled with two crappy ones, though.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:13 AM
3

Thank you for finding merit in it! We were very young and very adverse to courts when we first established it, but we could not have maintained it if we didn't have a strong desire to do right by our son. Now, don't get me wrong, his dad is one of my least liked people in the world. But I don't allow myself to look at anything beyond his parenting any more. And I've found just how grateful I am for being a (mostly) positive role model and loving father. That's like, wow. How could I deprive my c…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:11 AM
1

Shitty deal. Why was she actually hours late?
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:08 AM
2

I think it's cool to emphasize your individual merits. One of the reasons I want primary custody is because I tend to be healthier and happier when I have my son most of the time, and his dad really likes his breaks. It's not an insult at all. You have to assess, assess, assess, be blunt, but be fair. No attacks. No mudslinging. It's a pretty impossible task, but you can have pretty good results if both people are willing to be fair.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:07 AM
32

I am a complete believer of equal rights. Try to view people as a blank slate, no gender, no race, no sexuality, no religion, no age. It reduces us to our utter humanity. We can all point fingers and say, "That's not damaging." "That was just a joke." "It's just a silly stereotype." But after generations of discrimination, inequality, and separation, I don't think it's helping our modern society to have pre-conceptions. Imagine how people will grow if there's no pretext.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 06:02 AM
5

Well the admitting starts with each individual, and then enforced through a change of view and actions. I used to use gender roles and stereotypes to explain things and enforce my own 'beliefs' (usually as they were convenient for me). But any time I labelled a man under arbitrary gender beliefs I imagined myself in his shoes, having my fate decided for me based on gender. My boyfriend and I split every bill. He has borrowed money from me and I from him. We have both treated each other on dates.…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 05:47 AM
-1

Once again, this is what you can expect from insane and inhumane people, aka sociopaths or the severely mentally ill. It happens with both genders, that needs to be addressed, but why is it a man/woman issue? Just... why? This woman isn't a mother any more than abusive fathers and child murderers are dads. We shouldn't be in fear of the people we parent with based on their gender, rather their emotional stability. Where's your proof that crimes like this are less publicized when women are they a…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 05:36 AM
5

I could never deny that men have more/equal right to females in all respects. People need to fess up to it. But men also have to fess up to their general problems and privilege in society. Let's not play the blame game any more. Women are sexist, men are sexist, women have privilege, men have privilege. It's all a lot of finger pointing with seemingly no results. Totally equal rights across the board should be the norm.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 05:25 AM
1

The current arrangement that can absolutely agree upon is that 1) the non-primary parent gets every school holiday in full, no exceptions. That means if I have primary custody, I will not see my son for Christmas, ever. It's a sacrifice I am willing to make in the sake of fairness. 2) We will always be open for visits and special requests 3) the best quality of communication will be assured. Gifts will be sent, Skype and phone calls will be had every night if possible.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 05:06 AM
2

I get it, but I'm not sure I agree for the following reasons. 1) I have a support system, and a very good one. My dad, sister, and best friend live in the city I want to move to. As well, I have a spouse (common law) who is very supportive and a very loving role model. They are all more than willing to be flexible with me should I need help. 2) I will be working throughout my summer vacations as well. 3) School does take a lot of time and effort, but I have the option to study and do homework at…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 05:01 AM
9

Yes, I agree. I think we need to all open our eyes to both sides of the issue. I wish we had 'human rights', applicable to every person, ever person being held to the same standards. There are downsides to being a single mom too. I've had employers judge me based on the fact that I have a child, because my 'availability' may be at stake. However, rarely is that same standard applied to men. Also, being a single mom, I don't get any praise for the work I do, but with my son's father, just based o…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 04:44 AM
-2

I sincerely don't understand the point of posting things like this here. I'm a newcomer, but this doesn't seem to have anything to do with men's rights. The father didn't seem to be aware of the danger posed to his son, and if he did, didn't seem to try to do anything to stop it. I dunno, I feel like this was put here to illustrate the idea of 'look what crazy moms will do if you let them'. And in a way I get it- there's a ton of media backlash of psychotic fathers and they emphasize on the male…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 04:15 AM
0

True, and he is uncircumcised, there was never a question of it being done. I've never thought of it as a men's right's issues per se, more of a human rights issue, since genital mutilation happens to both sexes. It angers me that it's still in practice in the US and Canada, though. In the last decade we saw boys getting circumcised 40-30% of the time to less than 10%, and I'm happy for it.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 03:48 AM
1

When I work during the summer I absolutely spend more time away from my son. An 8 hour work day 5 days a week plus an hour and a half commute every day. School will demand 2-6 hours a day, plus homework, which can easily be designated til after he's in bed. I'm a decent student, get all my homework in, go to class 95% of the time, and I get way, way more time to spend with my son than during the summers.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 03:23 AM
7

I'm not interested in discussing who my child will be better off with. I've already been in college for a year and a semester and in no way does being a student=non-functional and depriving a child of their needs. Especially since that would be making a permanent arrangement out of a temporary situation (university for 2 years vs. the rest of his life as a minor with his dad). By presuming this you are being just as hasty and judgmental as the system you want reform in. There's more to raising c…
/r/MensRights11/11/12 12:52 AM
13

The move is going to happen after he finishes his bachelor's degree in business administration (1 year from now), so I'm unsure. Probably pretty chaotic. If my son is living with me, I don't think so. I don't want to wear myself out and I don't want to miss out on him growing up. I'd say either. Except financially, his father will likely better off in that respect until I'm done school. Just me, probably, by virtue of standardization of school holidays.
/r/MensRights11/11/12 12:20 AM
18

Haha, that is definitely an odd-sounding sentiment for a woman. Not unwelcome, but not familiar.
/r/MensRights10/11/12 11:48 PM
93

Thank you. I'm just very thankful that no matter how we feel about each other I feel like he respects my parental rights and I do my best to respect his.
/r/MensRights10/11/12 11:19 PM
18

I'm not too sure about custodial rights in the US, but they do function a little bit different here. One parent cannot restrict custody based on personal preference. If there is a dispute that can't be settled, it is settled by judges and mediators, and unless one parent can be proven to be an unsuitable caregiver, both will be granted access. This is a... unique situation, since both my son's father and I have custody and in the event of moving away from one another we both want primary custody…
/r/MensRights10/11/12 11:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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