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xun1 Archive

View 13 posts and 136 comments by xun1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

what are his behaviours like ? It gets better when i learn to ignore it .. .
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/22 03:31 AM
1

Thanks !! What’s TRT? I wonder if there are ways to food supplement
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 08:58 PM
1

Thank you! What are some tips you have for soothing your husband? I think the hard part for me is to overcome the anxiety and frustration and to soften up enough to do that!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 08:56 PM
3

I feel like emotional volatility is a very feminine thing and the exact kind of thing that rpw here has helped me with
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 11:34 AM
1

What did you want to know.. ?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 03:02 AM
7

He usually does! And really actually overly compensates with love and affection once he comes around - so yes perhaps this is just a part of learning to be with someone!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:50 AM
5

You’re right , that actually makes sense. It seems a bit co-dependent that I am so affect by his moods.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:44 AM
1

I guess i want to try and help him solve whatever problem he is having , or if he is upset at me it makes me very anxious and therefore I want to know about the problem and solve it more. You’re right, not trying to teach him about emotional regulation will benefit us both . Do you think maybe the key is actually to manage my own emotions as i can choose to be less affected by this behaviour in him , and yes - accept that he can and is allowed to be emotive in his own way
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:43 AM
6

Thank you ! I really should try harder at this point!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:35 AM
8

Good point, a few re-curring things: 1. His work is very frustrating, he doesnt work very HARD per say , but the political nature of his job is quite draining emotionally and he gets impatient. I realise this fact, however have a hard time empathising because I deal with similar stuff ( or past partners have dealt with similar stuff) and do not react this way. Feel free to rip this excuse apart however - maybe i am being really un-empathetic here 2. I am a very messy person and he is a VERY clea…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:34 AM
3

I have the same problem :(
/r/RedPillWives05/01/21 10:47 PM
8

What are their replies to those usually?
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/20 12:30 AM
3

Say ‘I think you might have mistaken me with (insert when you’re ready to have sex , someone you’re committed to , exclusive with , someone you know better) ;) ‘ and if you like them and are attracted to them add ‘you know I’m attracted to you but ...’ so it doesn’t turn them down either
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/20 12:28 AM
1

I wish I had seen this earlier . My ex used to do this a lot too, how do you not become resentful? I was really hurt and took it personally every time it happens. Like I am cooking you dinner , and yet you are criticizing me ?!
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/20 10:03 PM
10

Abuse is not a relationship problem , violence only escalates . You’re at cross roads now , choose wisely!
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 03:09 AM
7

Maybe the money it costs is worth keeping a good marriage together ? Do some of those things when he’s not looking ?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 02:34 AM
4

Yes !
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 01:10 AM
10

What have you been doing in nun mode ?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 12:31 AM
8

My ex did this , one of the reasons I left him. It reduced me to such an insecure mess.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/20 05:59 AM
4

I just broke up with him . Yeah am going to look for places to move out to.
/r/RedPillWives19/11/20 01:00 PM
1

He does them too but not very often. I do most of the housework.
/r/RedPillWives19/11/20 11:19 AM
1

Oh I’m 31 - this is just an example , but it could be things like the dishes , cleaning up the house or work related things. He definitely feels frustrated.
/r/RedPillWives18/11/20 09:41 PM
2

Yeah true. He has before , however it never lasts long . This is his default unfortunately and I am too tired to argue further .
/r/RedPillWives18/11/20 11:07 AM
2

Yeah I don’t think it’s Ill intentioned - it’s def not humor , but maybe he thinks that saying it this way will make me listen more
/r/RedPillWives18/11/20 10:53 AM
20

Best advice ever !!
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/20 09:34 PM
1

Thank you ... did you ever think you were going to be single forever . I feel like that now , maybe I should just endure this because I don’t know I will find better or that there is necessarily better. Maybe I’m the one who’s just really intolerant of everything , too emotional. Were you scared ? How did you get the courage to leave your relationship at 31
/r/RedPillWives03/11/20 04:09 AM
1

Sorry for the loss :((( go into nun mode for a while I’d say
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/20 10:21 PM
1

Thank you for giving me hope . Sorry how old are you now? And how did you meet your fiancé ? Congratulations btw :)
/r/RedPillWives02/11/20 10:42 AM
1

I sometimes forget that - thanks for reminding me
/r/RedPillWives15/10/20 12:06 AM
1

But I thought threesomes can sometimes be ok for people?
/r/RedPillWives15/10/20 12:05 AM
2

I took him back because of the cliched answer ... I thought he had changed , grown up and saw how much of a mistake he made ..
/r/RedPillWives13/10/20 08:59 PM
1

I had a girl hit on my partner in front of me... Inside i was boiling with rage but I just smiled and laughed along... what would be the most productive thing to do in that situation?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/20 01:17 AM
1

I guess , but wondering how do you have so much certainty?
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 12:31 AM
1

did your therapist think your ex was a narcissist ? My therapist doesnt really label people , she has tried to ask me to leave for 2 years and yet i have stayed despite, and kept going back.
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 12:25 AM
1

I guess i am not sure i will be able to find someone at 31 , to start all over again with dating and all. And doesnt every relationship have their ups and downs?
/r/RedPillWives11/10/20 05:16 AM
1

I guess i just dont know / believe that i will find someone else? What if i waste my time for the next 8 years too. Wouldnt i be better off staying. I really like him and respect him as well. I think he is just immature .
/r/RedPillWives11/10/20 05:11 AM
18

Aww congrats !! Such a good story. Just wondering how old you were when you divorced ?
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 09:20 PM
1

What about when he crushes your dreams?
/r/RedPillWives22/09/20 07:09 AM
3

It will take a while to do what’s best for you , so in the mean time - document everything and we will be here to support you along the way xxxx
/r/RedPillWives20/09/20 12:32 AM
1

Read mating in captivity
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/20 03:12 AM
–

Do you guys ask your partner to help out ? Or just do everything yourself
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/20 09:56 PM
3

What are some ways to communicate no sex before exclusivity without sounding like a prude?
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/20 06:34 AM
3

I think maybe instead of trying to overcome something difficult, also realize that being quiet has its advantages. Whilst you can learn some useful small talk phrases, maybe practice the skill of being a really really good listener. Being quiet doesnt automatically mean you are a good listener, being an emphathetic and attentive listener comes with practice (google it), and being a quiet person could be an advantage in achieving that skill :) This way you wont feel fake AND get to maximize your …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 03:37 AM
24

Oh my gosh love , we are all here for you. Like I said I was in a very similar situation to you that just ended weeks ago , and what you did was incredibly brave. Please feel free to message if you need someone to talk to, trust me - this is the bottom and if you direct yourself in the right path it will only be up from here x
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/20 01:11 PM
3

cooooongrats!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/20 12:28 AM
6

Do you follow a particular diet ? I want to reduce sugar intake but it’s so hard
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/20 10:06 AM
2

Take time out for yourself. Your health is top priority above anything else.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 09:42 PM
18

Very similar to the relationship I just left , he is abusive even if not on purpose. I thought I could handle it and liked the chance to grow too , but it actually affected my health seriously, and after I left I found out I can actually grow by myself . And am looking forward to growing even more in a constructive environment. He is not captain material.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 04:51 AM
2

so true
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 12:08 AM
20

I think you should be dating older
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/20 04:00 AM
1

i gave up alcohol! and am cooking more.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/20 02:32 AM
18

Maybe read the surrendered single
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/20 09:11 AM
2

Hey , well.. he said he didn’t do it , I believed him ... but he broke up with me last week. Now I am relieved that I don’t even have to worry about it anymore. I don’t know if it was the best outcome, but I think it’s not a bad outcome
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/20 09:41 PM
1

But I guess I wasn’t good enough for him
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/20 07:53 AM
3

You think STFU saved your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 02:00 AM
7

Learn how to code and develop some new hobbies !
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 08:37 AM
3

Thank you so much . I won’t be ready to date in a long long time and will be going nun mode . The tips for self improvement sound exciting and I can’t wait to be able to be in a place to try!
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 07:44 PM
3

<3 thank you, i needed these words. i just have to find the courage to function
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 02:01 AM
12

Thank you . It’s so emotionally painful to do anything but I know only I can take care of myself right now .
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 12:59 AM
3

Do lots of things that you love . Give him plentyyy of space and plentyyyy of sex
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 07:52 PM
8

Who are you without your looks? What values do you bring to the table without that? If beauty is his top value and not yours, then maybe you guys are mismatched.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 05:39 AM
2

It came back negative . I double checked and saw his papers, he is going to go get tested again. But I blew up at him last night , and I think we are ending things without figuring this out . I don’t know what just happened .
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/20 08:43 PM
1

I didn’t go yesterday , I am struggling with whether I should. This is a massive sign of mistrust if I did right ?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/20 07:54 PM
1

ok so i called up his clinic, and they agreed to give me the results upon his request. Should i actually go and pick it up even ? He seems pretty upset that i wanted to see it because (i dont trust him) If everything was ok, i dont want this to be a caveat forever in our relationship
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/20 12:42 AM
1

Thank you so much . I hope I won’t need to but this is confusing times.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 09:31 PM
2

And he wants to get re-tested . He seemed really concerned last night . He wasn’t happy about this at all. He was googling the chances of false positives all night . If he didn’t do it , he should be relieved right ? I am so confused
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 09:29 PM
1

I am going to his clinic to pick up the paper report today. He said he emailed them to say I can do it. I just don’t know what is going on , I am so confused .
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 09:26 PM
1

And how did you find out that he and his ‘friend’ had a thing ?
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 05:35 AM
1

It came back negative , or he says so... I haven’t seen the results yet. I will go get tested again , but I’m not sure if it will show up since I’ve already had a course of antibiotics ..
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 05:34 AM
5

Thank you for sharing your story . I really want to believe him , and in my gut I really do. He just called me and said that he didn’t have it on the test . I asked to see the test results in writing and he said ‘why don’t you trust me’ now I don’t know what to think
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 05:33 AM
8

Haha i think it is funny, OP is obviously frustrated! This is a good reminder
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 02:11 AM
2

I dont know whether it is cognitive dissonance, denial or what. I just dont feel like he did it, it is so surreal.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:38 AM
1

thank you <3
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:30 AM
4

I think the doctor is just going to call him. I will ask him to provide me with a doctors certificate.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:29 AM
3

I really want to believe him, and my gut says he is not lying. I just dont know what i would do. The test results come out today, i am anxiously waiting. He asked me what i would do if the test results come back positive , i said i would break up with him if it did
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:25 AM
2

So if it comes back positive , then i will know he has lied?
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:23 AM
2

blamed it on her? So i guess this happens a bit... What was her reaction? Did she stay ?
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:22 AM
1

its not HPV its one of the more common ones , and i got tested for it in late august last year, and the test results then were clear :( My only bet is that i got a false positive ...
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 01:22 AM
2

did your partner do anything for you ?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 01:06 AM
2

this will happen to every marriage - even to your wife i think. But its human nature , and the best you can do is explore it yourself, and it will pass .
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 01:04 AM
4

Haha that can be super hard .. the only thing I think works for me is to have a consistent bed time and wake up time schedule . It helps with your hormones or something . Or meditation ? My mom is almost 60 and she looks 40 , apart from good genes she is a super positive person , stress can really age you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/20 05:19 AM
4

Sleep and eat well! Avoid sugar and do some weight training exercises. Muscles retain water.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/20 10:50 PM
2

What a great idea - I’m definitely going to order it too!
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 01:15 AM
0

What did he do?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 10:56 PM
1

love Lelo! Did you get it together ? I wonder if it would be weird if I bought one myself to surprise him.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 10:42 PM
1

Haha fun! What brand ?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 10:15 PM
2

thats such a cute idea - i will make him a batch to take to work so everyone can enjoy too.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 03:13 AM
2

im sydney too!
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 01:56 AM
5

mmm interesting .. i think he does ? from what ive seen from his reactions. that said, maybe thats enough for vday
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 12:54 AM
–

The Magic eraser is my newest favourite cleaning tool!!
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 12:17 AM
2

Yeah and she has a lot of mental issues! Entertaining for drama but which red pill woman wants to be entertaining for other people haha
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/19 12:14 PM
2

I like her but she’s definitely not red pill
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/19 08:42 AM
1

And he’s not yet your husband so that’s also a difference
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/19 08:49 PM
–

A day/ night of pampering myself with hair and face mask with a glass of wine and a good tv show or book is one of my most favorite things to do!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 08:31 PM
0

Fake it until you make it ?
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 01:59 PM
-5

Plastic surgery?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/19 01:14 PM
3

Eek - ok I’ll prepare some epic pain killers . Tbh my pill is really affecting my sex life.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 02:26 PM
2

I heard the insertion is super painful though :(
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 01:45 PM
2

What do you use now ?
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 01:09 AM
1

Yes yes and I mean the ability to vet well is one of them. For example - having girlfriends is one thing , being able to pick women with good RPW quality is another.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 04:40 AM
1

Vet better , what are you looking for?
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 04:07 AM
3

Would these men not pursue ANY woman? What if she was of enough value - then surely he’d be more keen right ?
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/19 05:58 AM
9

If he stays over and leaves for work first in the morning I would walk him to the door
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 08:14 PM
2

I have the same problems . I think perhaps you have to find someone that is in a similar situation financially, that could be easier.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/19 01:37 AM
12

I think that’s a pretty big sub behavior , and if a guy has such a behavior I’m just not sure RPW tactics will work in this situation?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 02:49 AM
27

I don’t think alcohol misuse classifies as captain material imho.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 02:28 AM
5

thats a great way to put it!
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 06:03 AM
4

Agreed - I think that chapter perhaps more caters to married women
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 05:50 AM
3

Instead of feeling bad maybe use it as motivation to maximize your SMV?
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/19 07:20 AM
–

I drank too much and lashed out at my boyfriend at a party in public while hamstering ... I apologized after but I think I need som practical methods to calm myself down. Or maybe stop drinking?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/19 10:03 PM
2

I almost think trust him and let him bring it up - you’re anxious but perhaps just raise it in a way of not a question but rather what you think you will do. There are many factors with moving to a new city together that he might not be able to give you the answer he wants right now even if you asked. You should make a decision to find your own place - I think this will calm your anxieties down a lot and ensure that you will not be bickering and driving him further away during this already stres…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/19 12:04 PM
–

Oh I didn’t know there were dry cleaning kits
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 05:32 AM
–

If I can’t be bothered to take things to the dry cleaners , is there a way where I can get away with cleaning it at home?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 12:58 AM
–

Oh this is such a good idea - how long do they keep for?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 12:57 AM
1

I will join too!
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 09:13 PM
2

Sounds like you’re just very emotional right now. Feel the emotions , observe and evaluate but don’t act or make judgements up on it yet. Reflect back on it after a few weeks and hopefully you can see things clearly , such as whether this guy was really right for you, and if he was where you went wrong specifically. Also stop bashing yourself up, it doesn’t help anything.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 11:17 PM
6

What happened ? What was your mistake
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 10:39 AM
2

I think my problem is that I’m also very RPW around women. I want to change that and appear confident socially . What’s the DARE method?
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 11:41 PM
1

This is actually exactly what I’m worried about haha. But I’m not sure talking to him would help my case , perhaps it’s time to work on my social skills / confidence . I’m not low value objectively but i somehow always do have a inferiority complex and get intimidated by the ‘confident , sexy and successful women’
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 10:33 PM
5

Yeah i think i just care about what she thinks too much, and im always scared my SO will get influenced.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 06:28 AM
5

I know he doesnt like her and thinks she is nasty too. I should just really let it go! I think i was just annoyed that my boyfriend wasnt more defensive about it for me. But i cant really control how he reacts to certain situations.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 06:15 AM
8

thats a great advice! reactive in a high level way. The thing is she is talking about me behind my back - but TO my SO. Thats what i find so frustrating, if she really had the guts she would say it to my face.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 06:13 AM
8

Very true... I havent, i think that might be a good idea!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 04:02 AM
8

i think shes the easy part to deal with . But because of her behaviour its causing riffs between my SO and I , and i hate it. I am worried that my SO might actually fall for it as he finds her very attractive also. She makes me feel low value - like the only value i provide is being submissive. Am i hamstering here or is there something i can do about it .
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/19 03:45 AM
0

I go to a therapist and they say I’m in a toxic relationship
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/19 10:10 AM
–

Oh hahaha oops i mean maximum obviously 😅
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/18 07:56 PM
–

Focus on study - improve 20 marks Lose 1 kg body fat Keep drinking to a max of 2
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/18 01:16 AM
2

ive been skipping breakfast , and its been great. I feel much clearer in the mind in the mornings as opposed to when i do eat breakfast
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/18 02:46 AM
2

But i've since told him that i realize where my problems are and i've changed and showed him through my behavior (albeit a little too doormat like..but we all have to start somewhere) and he said he appreciated it . Could it be that he's only interested in a FWB arrangement but he doesnt even know it himself? And thinks there could be something more? He knows I could help him a lot in his career and our values align.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/18 01:11 AM
1

As in i should tell him i want him to be all in , or im all out ? I dont want him to feel like im pressuring him into something when we've just re-connected ...
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/18 01:07 AM
2

I did realize that as soon as I wrote this down. His words and actions are different, and my mind is trying to justify it by making excuses for him or thinking that he’s playing games or that he’s shy... But he’s so busy and if I’ve already complied, if he wanted this , he would have said so already. i guess he's still unsure.. ? i just cant fathom the fact that he would be so cruel as to lead me on like this
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 09:27 PM
1

Why would he suggest being in a relationship a few more times if he didn’t want to be in one ? Also inviting me back into his life with his friends and housemates. He also makes plans for the future - like traveling and talks about visiting my parents. He tells me he’s told his workmates and everyone about me. He also said he has feelings for me , and I was the one who said that I can only be with him if he was more excited about me. And says he’s not sleeping with anyone else. I think this is t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 08:29 PM
-1

Should I at least ask him whether he still wants a relationship again before I hard next him? I feel like there’s not closure right now. Yes I want to do at least 6 months of that before I go back into the dating scene again, I’ve already begun to work on myself and issues and it’s been really enlightening. I even apologized to him for being a brat.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 12:51 PM
2

Like he only wants the good times?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 08:55 AM
1

is it that obvious ?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 07:00 AM
1

In a very similar situation.. just wondering how this went ?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/18 12:14 AM
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