Moody and neurotic partner

Managerfreakout · 2021-12-27T01:49:34+00:00

I found that most men do better with time to “cool off” whereas we women tend to want to talk about the issue there and then, and it leads to fights. Sometimes it pays off to just let them stew for a bit, distract yourself or maybe do something sweet for him like cooking a meal or tidying up the house, or something else that makes sense for your lives. It’s not a one size fits all formula, but I find this does work to diffuse the tension in a lot of situations. We always want to help fix the problem but sometimes men really just want to be left alone for a while and we end up making it into a thing when it didn’t need to be. 😅

CountTheBees · 2021-12-27T01:10:10+00:00

Why is he tired? Is he trying very hard at work?

It could be about me

What cause are you giving him to be cranky at you?

teaandtalk · 2021-12-27T02:37:14+00:00

He never admits it when i ask him about it, and says he is just tired.

What's your end goal in bringing this up? What are you hoping to achieve?

However I guess people dont learn emotional regulation very easily.

He's not a child, and you're not his mother. Do not try to teach him to be less moody. If it's bad enough that you need to keep bringing it up, it's probably not something you want in a life partner. It's vitally important that you respect your partner as an adult whose emotions you don't have to manage.

This is making me emotionally drained and I really feel like I am in a relationship with a woman, making me lose my attraction to him.

Big red flag here.

alien_eater289 · 2021-12-27T04:56:56+00:00

My husband is very similar. He’s wonderful in every way but he’s highly emotional as well, mostly just with me because he feels safe to be vulnerable around me and he knows that I know how to handle it. I’ll go ahead and throw it out there that if you prefer the “strong silent type” it may not work out long term.

But if you love this man and want to make it work, it’ll serve you to learn his moods and how to handle them, just as he (hopefully) does with you. When my husband comes home upset, cranky, frustrated or stressed, I know exactly how to handle him. He spends his days having to manage many different people, so sometimes his emotions bubble up when he’s home with me. It sometimes leads to us bickering if I’m also in a mood, but because I know him so well I can almost always help him work through the feelings, help him relax and destress.

And this has made me indispensable by the way. A lot of women in this forum talk about what they can do for their husband that their husband cant do for himself, or that another woman couldn’t do for him. What do you really bring to the table? In my case, I know him inside and out and have the patience and empathy to help him work through his negative feelings. My girl friends always joke that they could never handle his moods when I talk to them about it, but honestly it’s probably true. He’s stubborn and obstinate when he’s in a bad mood and could drive anybody crazy, but I know how to help him through it. And he deals with my crazy moods when I get into them, and he’s patient and kind and understanding when I need it, so we balance.

So I think you could use this as an opportunity to bond more closely with him. Have patience and empathy, figure out what soothes him when he needs it; and you two can become unbreakable :)

MrsChiliad · 2021-12-27T02:34:44+00:00

OP, whatever the solution is, if you want to stay with him, I suggest you work on giving your partner permission for his feelings. Losing respect is a recipe for disaster.

And listen, maybe you can’t respect him anymore, but beware of where that will lead and be real with yourself about it. If your goal is to stay together, then you need to figure out what causes this behavior in him, and try to be ok with it if it’s not something that truly can be made better on an immediate future. (For example, he need decompressing time that he isn’t getting)

Maybe it is something he needs to change - I’m not saying you’re the one in the wrong and who needs to adapt. However, staying with someone because you’re counting on them to change is a terrible idea. Is this a behavior problem, or a personality problem?

thefujirose · 2021-12-27T02:39:36+00:00

He is irritated and snaps a lot and holds a (excuse my french) bitch face around when he is unhappy with something. He never admits it when i ask him about it, and says he is just tired. This is making me emotionally drained and I really feel like I am in a relationship with a woman, making me lose my attraction to him.

Please, please do elaborate.

adrian_d6 · 2021-12-27T13:47:17+00:00

Ask him to get his testosterone level checked, as well as other hormones such as estradiol and cortisol. Endocrinology has a massive impact on mood. One common symptom of low T is irritability. I was the same way as him before hopping on TRT, always annoyed and irritated at people for small reasons and had overall bitch energy, but now I feel like a new man. Also, every man has different androgen sensitivity, even if he's on the lower end of the "normal" reference range, many men still feel hypogonadal symptoms. Optimal level is are around 700-1000ng/dl.

DN-BBY · 2024-02-22T20:04:00+00:00

Just because he has a bitch face doesnt mean you have to do anything about it. You gonna tell him he needs to smile more?

titlejunk · 2021-12-27T04:16:09+00:00

“Oh… Is this what we are doing today?” Eye roll. Laugh. Kiss. Walk away.

You proceed to not manage his mental health. You are entertained by his outbursts. You have your own plan for showers, walks, dinner. He is welcome to join but you are going regardless.

Sprout70 · 2022-08-12T04:50:59+00:00

I’m dealing with similar but we’ve been together 8 years. It’s just gotten much worse the last year. I’m worn out. I wish I had something to offer other than you’re not alone! I’m interested to read the responses.

Title	Moody and neurotic partner
Author	xun1
Upvotes	26
Comments	29
Date	December 27, 2021 12:42 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/rpa9ag/moody_and_neurotic_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/moody-and-neurotic-partner.1090513 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090513

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