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teaandtalk Archive

View 21 posts and 4,093 comments by teaandtalk on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
95

DISCUSSIONteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 09:36 PM
70

THEORYteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen07/04/17 10:19 PM
55

DISCUSSIONteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen10/09/17 07:18 AM
53

OFF TOPICteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 02:21 AM
34

INSIGHTFULteaandtalk/r/RedPillWives23/03/19 09:37 PM
30

THEORYteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen19/07/17 03:10 AM
24

GIRL GAMEteaandtalk/r/RedPillWives20/09/20 12:56 AM
17

teaandtalk/r/RedPillWives14/08/19 07:11 AM
17

LIFESTYLEteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen01/12/17 12:14 AM
14

INSIGHTFULteaandtalk/r/RedPillWives30/11/17 09:52 PM
13

teaandtalk/r/RedPillWives24/02/19 04:03 AM
11

SELF CAREteaandtalk/r/RedPillWives13/04/20 12:51 AM
11

OFF TOPICteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen13/04/17 04:31 AM
10

DISCUSSIONteaandtalk/r/RedPillWives26/08/18 12:33 AM
9

LTR/MARRIAGEteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 04:04 AM
8

RELATIONSHIPSteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen15/07/18 02:33 AM
8

teaandtalk/r/RedPillWives30/12/18 10:32 AM
7

OFF TOPICteaandtalk/r/RedPillWomen01/05/17 09:09 PM
5

DISCUSSIONteaandtalk/r/RedPillWives15/07/18 02:32 AM
3

teaandtalk/r/RedPillWives14/01/20 02:17 AM
1

teaandtalk/r/RedPillWives09/05/19 03:49 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 4,093 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

It's only difficult if you think of men as a monolith and blame them all for the actions of some. I don't personally have that problem because I think of all the men in my life who are lovely and clearly love women, even if they're super masculine or macho. I hate toxic masculinity and misogyny (and find those very unattractive) but I only spend time with men who aren't like that.
/r/RedPillWives03/01/23 04:29 AM
5

I think that there are ways this could work, but all of them involve OP being brave and asking for help protecting her children.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 04:50 AM
3

I think there are ways to go about this that would work. OP needs to talk to a knowledgeable lawyer versed in family law in their state.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 04:34 AM
11

That's not accurate. If OP goes the legal route and is honest about the situation, I think it's very unlikely the court would allow the children to be in the custody of someone who is willing to die on the hill of 'why can't my pedo brother hang out with my small children'. I would be looking into a lawyer and a restraining order.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 04:04 AM
13

Whereabouts are you in the world? Depending on your location and the specifics, even having him in your home may be a violation of his probation, and put you and husband in risk of being cited for child endangerment.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 03:25 AM
12

This is a situation where you need to protect the children by whatever means are available to you. Your husband, by pushing this issue, has made it clear that he is willing to ignore a major risk to your children and as such, I wouldn't trust him to do the right thing by them. Convicted sex offenders don't have the right to spend time with children, even if they're family, and your husband doesn't have the right to put his children in harm's way like this.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 03:19 AM
14

Is your children's safety more or less important than trying not to disrespect your husband?
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 03:12 AM
26

If your husband won't keep a safe home for your children and keep them away from a man who has shown that he is willing to do the basest of things, then you need to decide whether you'd prefer to lose your husband or have your children irreparably harmed. Being a "respectful wife" doesn't mean being walked over.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 03:11 AM
13

I'm so so sorry you're dealing with this. Your husband insisting that your daughters should meet your brother sounds like it's crossing the line and you need to protect them.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 03:08 AM
-3

But be sure to interrogate your instincts too. Jumping to conclusions isn't helpful - and there's a big difference between a situation with clear and present risk of danger (eg 'my husband wants to have his sex offender brother to stay in our home') and what OP currently is facing ('my husband wants to have a relationship with his sex offender brother and maybe have him see our children, supervised, sometime in the future'). Edit: OP has specified that husband wants him to visit their home soon.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 12:38 AM
3

This is a very difficult situation and anyone responding needs to be careful not to make assumptions. It's admirable that your husband wants to support your brother in his rehabilitation. Has he been in prison long? My instinct, like yours, is to keep him away from your children entirely. That is a sensible instinct. That said, this is your husband's brother and their relationship is important. I don't know the extent of the offending (and I'm not asking) but I also know that sex offenders are s…
/r/RedPillWives31/12/22 11:26 PM
2

I'm so very glad to hear this.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/22 07:46 PM
2

Are things feeling any better for you guys?
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/22 08:56 AM
2

It sounds like you need to have a big discussion about finances because you're very clearly not on the same page and it sounds like it's really damaging your relationship. I imagine I would feel unloved and untrusted if my partner treated our shared finances like they were his to control.
/r/RedPillWives20/12/22 08:30 PM
6

He does, she mentioned elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/22 08:19 PM
3

In a partnership, the two people should be able to make choices together (or delegate decisions to each other) without making each other feel bad. I don't think it's common these days for a woman to have to ask to spend money like you do, unless that's a decision you've made as a couple (eg if one of you has a history of overspending and you've handed over the financial reins). Are you putting money into your retirement fund? Do you have your own bank account?
/r/RedPillWives20/12/22 08:16 PM
12

Do you think there's a solution to this problem? Sometimes honesty about the reality of a situation is all you can do. Some people are bullies and it sounds like she's done her best to change this but it hasn't happened. Should she just suck it up?
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/22 09:06 AM
13

I'd go hang out with his family at their weekly gatherings. Has he ever been diagnosed/suspected autistic? This level of social incomprehension feels like it must be pathological. But for reals, I would try to get out of the relationship personally. A man who puts you down isn't on your side. And for god's sake don't have children with him.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/22 09:02 AM
1

I feel for you, I really do. But unless you've got a really good reason, it's going to be hard to convince him that you're not just a very changeable person and I imagine that might be the end of your marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 08:14 AM
1

My favourites are from Running Bare.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 06:25 AM
3

I think if it is being asked in a vacuum it can be problematic - if someone says they're childfree and someone else jumps in to ask why, that's pretty rude. But in this case I think it's completely relevant to the topic at hand: it's a big change from their opinion three years ago and it's a change that very well may lead to their marriage breaking up due to fundamental differences. I always wanted kids and husband was always open to/pretty keen, but 3+ years of infertility and some unassociated…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 06:24 AM
2

I used to feel that way but then I got some nice leggings (not uber premium, but similar price to Lululemon etc) and wow. The fabric wears so much better, the finishing is much neater, and they last longer through lots of wash and wear.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 06:15 AM
7

What has changed so dramatically that you've gone from wanting 4 kids with this man to none at all? I think that's a missing part of the story.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 06:13 AM
2

Can't have another baby if you die in childbirth... But seriously, the evidence is pretty clear that abortion, especially medical abortion, is very very unlikely to lead to future infertility. The main ways that it can have an impact are either repeated surgical abortions leading to scarring, or untreated infections. As someone currently dealing with infertility (and pretty upset about it), I still feel that in a case like this, the potential risks to OP in the future are minute in comparison to…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 07:29 PM
2

If you're going to mention health consequences of abortion, make sure you also mention how dangerous childbirth is for women. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22270271/
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 06:59 PM
69

He's 'perfect'... But unmotivated, unrealistic, dependent on cannabis, living in his mum's basement...I assume he's ridiculously hot or your self esteem is ridiculously low.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/22 11:49 PM
21

Would you like him to talk to your future children that way?
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 05:02 AM
3

How's your self esteem? It's up to you what you accept in a relationship, talking to me like that isn't something I could accept.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 09:37 PM
1

He already does BJJ.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 06:02 PM
2

Be responsible for you own healing and drop the contact. Block if you can bring yourself to do it.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:31 PM
9

I think that checking in on him isn't healthy for either of you. I would say that's something you should definitely stop for both of your sakes.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 10:06 PM
10

A sounds like someone who lost what he had (a relationship with a decent woman) and is on his best behavior to try to get it back... But he had a year and a half before you left to improve himself and he didn't. I don't know if it's time yet to be open to something with B (when you've come out of something unhealthy, you're not in the best place to get) but A sounds like someone who isn't worth keeping in your life.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 09:42 PM
18

Replace flowers with something you have a bodily craving for and I think it's different. Like a partner bringing you a coffee in bed every morning as a gesture of love that also meets your physical needs. That sort of consistent gesture is the glue that helps keep marriage together and while it may grow comfortable, it's probably always going to feel good and loving and intimate.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 05:05 PM
5

Taking divorce off the table is great. One thing that is shown to be helpful is doing things that spark adrenaline with your partner - eg rollercoasters - can transfer the excitement to your relationship. There are some great ideas here: https://www.happilyeveradventures.com/adventurous-date-ideas/ .
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 07:21 PM
2

How are things going for you guys?
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 06:37 PM
4

I would probably not talk too much about marriage right now and just show him how important he is to you ..I wouldn't be surprised if he settles down of his own accord.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 03:57 AM
5

That sounds really really difficult then, and I send you my sympathy. I can share from my own recent experience: a series of family crises led to me having to do a lot of caregiving without much support or appreciation, and I could feel myself growing more anxious, brittle and isolated. The coping mechanisms I had at that time were mostly trying to control everything and anticipate all complications, but in my case the situation I was trying to control didn't focus on my husband. I can't oversta…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 03:00 AM
10

Thanks for sharing more information, I think it's vital in order for you to get helpful responses. I think that there are two things going on here: 1) Your husband has had a health scare (is that accurate?) that's caused anxiety and possibly a bit of a midlife crisis on his part, leading him to panic that 'oh no I've missed out on sowing my wild oats'. (And possibly also making him think 'oh no my wife isn't taking care of her health'). 2) simultaneously, his health crisis has meant that you're …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 02:44 AM
18

Yes, I'm pretty frustrated with the replies saying 'you go girl, give him some dread' when it's clear that she's not being honest about her part in this situation & dread does NOT work the same way for men as for women.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 09:18 PM
15

This should be in your OP.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 07:47 PM
21

I would caution you that you're still very early in the stages of learning to live with each other (let alone a baby and another family!). Have you both lived with housemates before?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 09:53 PM
17

Do these friends have the financial and organisational capacity to easily find a new rental in your city if things don't work out?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 09:52 PM
9

Also I see you and your husband have been together for a very short time. Have you lived together by yourselves for a while already?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 09:49 PM
18

I think a month is a pretty short amount of time. I would make sure that you all have some clear exit clauses and plans for if you decide things don't work - eg having a decent fund available for finding a new home. Can you afford the home by yourselves?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 09:48 PM
52

I don't know the specific boundaries you guys need but wow does that sound like the potential for a lot of conflict and stress, with tensions high with two new babies. I would make sure that you are all absolutely committed to clear communication and respectful interactions and that you have some very specific rules and separate spaces and responsibilities within the home.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 09:30 PM
10

Piers is only 57, 95 is quite an age difference.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/22 06:43 AM
4

That's good to hear. Just beware. Long distance isn't a good way to get to know a man, and people are often very different in their home countries than when they're a minority in a different one.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 06:25 AM
5

Do not have babies with this man until you're married, financially stable and can speak the language! This is an incredibly risky move for you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 05:41 AM
–

You're 14. You don't need to be preparing to be a tradwife. Focus on becoming a good, well rounded person and don't get caught up in red pill stuff.
/r/RedPillWives02/10/22 05:09 AM
9

Then your charts are misleading, because right now they look like you're having unprotected sex on ovulation day. /r/FAMnNFP might be a better fit for you to get advice tailored to TTA.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 10:35 PM
14

Wait on, you're posting in TFAB with charts that indicate you're trying for pregnancy - what is going on?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 10:20 PM
73

How much of a captain can be be if he thinks it would take FOUR YEARS together to decide if he even wants to live in the same house? Sounds like what he means is he MAYBE wants marriage and babies in four or five years or more, but wants to keep his options open & hopes you'll wait around. Otherwise he can find someone when he's ready. It's a damn big gamble on your part and the risks for him are... Negligible.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 10:19 PM
2

Knitting is my vote, and using circular needles (you don't have to knit in the round though) greatly increases portability.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 10:16 AM
6

I'm sorry that your life has led you to consider these the only two options: abuse or settling for a relationship that doesn't make you feel good. Being alone is okay! And there are other men out there who are kind and safe.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/22 08:33 PM
5

And that's why most RPW suggest that a man with both alpha and beta traits is best suited to marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 08:38 AM
4

He will grow out of it if he's forced to by circumstance or honest communication. I would tell him how much it affects your attraction to him, to be honest - you're damaging your future sex life by having sex with him when he's not attractive to you on a regular basis.
/r/RedPillWives31/07/22 09:27 PM
11

Have you told him how much it bothers you when he's dirty? Not telling him what he should do, but being honest about how it impacts you? I'm surprised it hasn't affected your sex life, to be honest, it would mine!
/r/RedPillWives31/07/22 09:18 PM
3

I can't imagine he has any interest in her health at all. It's all about him and his wants.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 08:44 PM
2

None of that seems like it requires nun mode, to me. In fact, the last three will be harder to practice if you're avoiding-men and romantic contexts.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 08:27 PM
1

Are you abroad in a foreign country & don't have friends or family near you? If so, you're in a particularly vulnerable position and so you need to be extra cautious. Being moody and annoyed when you do something small that annoys you is a red flag. I would also say talking any training and using you, if you haven't discussed this stuff specifically as a sex thing, is a red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 10:25 AM
1

What do the people in your life feel about this guy? Does he encourage you to have female friendships and spend time with your family? What does he do if you do something he doesn't approve of?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 10:06 AM
1

Okay, so that sounds like something nun mode might help with: if you're explicit about your goals around this issue. What are you hoping will change through nun mode?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/22 09:08 PM
3

I believe so, but I haven't dated in a long time. I met my husband online about 12 years ago. I know that there are lots of online dating options that are full of people seeking 'friends' who really mean 'casual sex' but I am sure there are platforms less prone to that.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/22 01:14 PM
12

Then nun mode might be a good idea for you! For many women, especially younger women struggling with self esteem, participating in hookup culture or dating inappropriate men, nun mode is a good option. For general self improvement, I don't think it's necessary.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/22 01:13 PM
11

You have to just... do the things. Make the time for it. Prioritize: for example, musical instrument practice is a low priority for me, and I'd say far lower for you than dating and getting out there. How would nun mode make it easier to focus self improvement? And, if you learn to practice better self care by avoiding men, does it prepare you for a relationship with a man where you have even more people to care for?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/22 01:02 PM
17

I guess I'm just not seeing why it's important for you to avoid men during this time. You need to work on your work life balance and self care, clearly, but you don't need to go into nun mode to do it .. And I'd worry that you're closing off options unnecessarily when finding a good man in your community/circles is something you're already struggling with.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/22 12:49 PM
17

What's the purpose of your nun mode? Are you finding yourself seeking validation from men? Having hookups that you don't want to do? Nun mode can be good but for many women, it's not necessary.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/22 11:36 AM
34

LDRs make it difficult to see the red flags. But it sounds like they're there. A man you've met what, five or six times, who can't fulfill the basic promise of an LDR (regular romantic communication) and doesn't like you the way you are (before you changed your whole appearance to meet his desires) doesn't seem like the right man for you.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 03:27 AM
4

His friend referring to you as his wife sounds more like he already has a wife who he hasn't told you about.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/22 07:03 PM
4

What does your counselor suggest? What are you doing to work on the root causes of your anxiety?
/r/RedPillWives04/04/22 09:46 AM
3

I personally find that IF leads to bingeing for me in the long run. I know a lot of people love it but it sounds like you're in dangerously obsessive territory (feeling like you're betraying your boyfriend due to your weight is NOT normal) so I urge caution.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/22 02:27 AM
38

An arranged marriage sounds like it could work for you because you're in a position of enough power and privilege that your family could arrange a match with a good man. For a lot of people, that's not the case. So I'm not saying I'm pro arranged marriages! In this case, it sounds like a reasonable way to meet men who are marriage minded and respected by their community. Just make sure to keep your eyes open and vet vet, vet. Your family members aren't the ones who have to live with him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/22 06:57 AM
4

There are some that have been around long term but they're kept pretty quiet.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/22 06:43 AM
4

There are absolutely groups but by the nature of this space, people tend to keep them quite quiet. If you've been an active contributor on here for a while & are looking for a space, send me a message.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/22 06:42 AM
4

That sounds like parenting teenagers: if you give up on getting your kids to to age appropriate cleaning tasks and outsource it, it seems like it's reaffirming their behavior. It's not going to get better because you hire help.
/r/RedPillWives30/03/22 10:59 AM
26

The options aren't 'quit while you're ahead and never get the life I want' or 'commit and get pregnant right away'. There's a lot of in between there. Committing right away and talking about wanting to get you pregnant could be a love bombing red flag or an abuser trying to lock you down. Or it could be an overly enthusiastic man trusting his gut. Keep your eyes open and don't leap into anything, but you can certainly keep seeing him and see how it goes! Make sure you're on some good birth contr…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 08:42 AM
3

If you have a job on top of primary care duties, even if the kids are in school, I think it's reasonable to need extra help. That said, what you call 'nagging your children to help' could also be seen as 'teaching your children a valuable life skill & responsibility' so tbh I think that is something you should not avoid. Do you have any time at home without the children now?
/r/RedPillWives30/03/22 07:01 AM
7

Gosh, looks like you've included half of the dictionary here! Perhaps it would be worth trying to categorize/simplify: eg 'skin, hair, nails, physique' all could go together. And 'cooking, cleaning, frugal, responsible'. It's an overwhelming list without being more specific.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 08:27 PM
12

Quick tip: if you come into a space to ask relationship questions, don't dismiss all the responses you receive except the ones that support your narrative. If you can't clean when your bf is in your shared space, that's a you problem. Grow up.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 08:15 PM
12

Yeah that's a you problem. Keeping your home clean is an adult responsibility, not a mindfulness activity for when the stars align.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 07:52 PM
9

Why don't you share what you have already and see if anyone has any additions? It's a big ask!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 04:36 AM
1

You can get a progesterone blood test as a once off, and there are progesterone urine tests, but in order to do it regularly/get to know your cycle I recommend taking your temperature every morning (I use a Tempdrop) and charting it on a graph. I use fertility friend. It's also a good way to avoid pregnancy if you do it properly and scientifically, and help achieve pregnancy when you want to. Check out /r/FAMnNFP for more info.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 03:43 AM
15

There's no right or wrong, and it's pretty natural to want babies. If it's been more than about 14 days a negative test is very accurate. If you're worried about getting pregnant in the future, I highly recommend learning to chart your cycle using an app like Fertility Friend and taking your temperature daily. That will let you know if your irregular periods are just irregular, or if they're anovulatory (ie that you're not ovulating) which would be a problem for future fertility. If it turns out…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/22 03:30 AM
77

You both sound immature, and you sound controlling (going through his old messages because you felt threatened by what, him talking to a female friend?). Do you feel like you're both mature adults ready for an adult relationship, and do you think you're acting in a healthy way?
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/22 10:20 AM
12

In addition to what everyone else is saying: Ensure that you don't give up your job to stay home without legal protections (marriage or similar).
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/22 12:34 AM
3

There's usually room for a pot or two! Hydrangea colour is usually to do with soil pH!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/22 10:29 AM
7

If you can grow hydrangeas, there are lots of other flowers you could grow. It's much more cost effective.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/22 09:46 AM
4

Plant the victory garden now. It's been invaluable for us sitting covid, when either there were supply shortages or we've been avoiding busy shopping centres.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/22 06:35 AM
2

Reading Taking Charge of your Fertility and tracking your cycle will give you lots of information to determine a) if you're likely to have issues getting pregnant that mean you should hurry and b) help you get pregnant asap when you start trying.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/22 06:07 AM
2

Thanks for elaborating.
/r/RedPillWives18/02/22 01:27 AM
6

Do you think Belle would consider herself anti feminist? I'm not saying she's not very feminine but I feel like the dichotomy in your post title is an unreasonable one.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/22 11:56 PM
52

I'd be more concerned about a 36 year old man living in his parents' house without a plan to move out, tbh. He may well be depressed...or he may be comfortable having his parents pay his rent (equivalent) and his girlfriend pay for food while he does hobbies and hangs out on social media. Sounds like he's living he dream.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/22 10:50 AM
3

Porn addiction can be recovered from, but it sounds like you're not that into this guy. If it's been less than 6 months and you're losing attraction, I'd walk away. (Plus, if you're interested in marriage and kids, be wary of younger men. Your biological clock and their life goal clocks are unlikely to be on the same timeline).
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 08:09 PM
83

Often when we have arguments he leaves or sometimes even threatens to breakup with me because I’m not womanly enough. He considers himself a HVM and often tells me about all the women he has been with or could have Not HVM behavior. I can either have him around when he wants to be here or we can just be FWB. Not HVM behavior. but seems to keep pushing off the job part. I’ve paid for everything for a long time and lately he’s started asking for small loans to keep himself going Not HVM behavior. …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 08:07 PM
28

Don't give wife privileges if you're only a girlfriend or fiancee. Being a stay at home wife is a vulnerable position for a women, more so depending on where you live/the protections or marriage, so it's vital you don't do that without legal and financial protection.
/r/RedPillWives07/02/22 07:51 AM
19

'Why haven't you done your homework, Jimmy?' 'I'm uninspired, mother. There are just so many fat women. '
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/22 05:55 AM
9

Sure, it seems like we agree on the core point, but I think a big failing of many of the red pill spaces is that people talk about things from the perspective of 'should I lift/lose weight/learn to drive/get a boob job/etc in order to attract/be useful to the opposite sex' instead of focusing on how important self improvement is for its own sake, you know? I think 'women should be slim and attractive because society needs it so that men will be inspired to greatness' is a short-sighted way to se…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/22 12:04 AM
10

Good luck with your appointment. I think it's also tricky because people use the word 'fat' to mean different things - there's a big difference between Hollywood fat or 'I'm feeling fat today' size 12 and Tess Holliday etc obesity.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 10:20 PM
12

I guess I just don't like men coming into women's spaces and hijacking a thread about women and making it about how it's important that women are healthy and attractive because otherwise how will the men cope... But go off I guess.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:46 PM
4

Hugs, good luck! I've been doing some of that stuff myself & learning lots about my body and the ways that a) underlying conditions can contribute to weight gain and b) weight gain worsens those underlying conditions. It's tricky, tricky stuff! I am a big fan of body positivity as long as it doesn't lead to the idea that weight and health aren't very tied together.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:29 PM
27

I think there's a very important difference between body positivity/body neutrality and 'health at any size, fat acceptance, and obesity doesn't cause illness', I'm definitely not saying that fat shaming is okay or that society doesn't cause mental illness in women who don't adhere to a very narrow beauty ideal.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:24 PM
12

Yes, I think the current fat acceptance craze is an overreaction to the heroin chic hyper thin beauty ideal of the 90s.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 08:07 PM
29

Women are also people, not fuel for men's achievements.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 08:05 PM
140

Fair enough on a dating level but it's a movement that's unhealthy for society. Is that the society you want to pay for with your tax dollars or want your children growing up in?
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 07:19 PM
5

Is he a professor? Or a grad student? Big difference.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 08:23 PM
30

It's been a month. He's not so time poor that he has to commit to someone a month in.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 05:34 AM
69

A month isn't long.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 05:33 AM
5

Some people don't like when other people are happy!
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 10:25 PM
3

Hi, why are you responding to a four year old post? PS almost 10 years in and going strong, thanks for the reminder that society expects marriages to fail!
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 08:16 PM
2

I haven't been to enough that I could really say, but it seems similar in all the ones I've been involved with - broadly, Baptist, Anglican, Dutch Reformed and new-style modern evangelical nondenominational.
/r/RedPillWives23/01/22 07:56 AM
1

I've encountered that sort of man at various different denominations, fwiw.
/r/RedPillWives23/01/22 07:43 AM
8

Have you been to church recently? I've met a LOT of very very beta church guys.
/r/RedPillWives22/01/22 10:37 PM
1

You can have a read through of our wiki and top posts if you're interested, but I'm going to close this thread now.
/r/RedPillWives22/01/22 10:16 PM
2

It's not for you, Dave.
/r/RedPillWives20/01/22 07:46 PM
8

It sounds like you know what you should do.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/22 07:52 PM
13

Hang on. Burying the lede: are you still working as a sex worker?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 10:16 PM
21

I feel for you, I really do. But it sounds like he wants nonmonogamy (which you don't) and to cohabitate without marriage (which you don't) and doesn't want marriage (which you do). And your posts paint a picture of rationalising and making excuses for these compromises. Is it possible that you've internalised some big shame about your life, work, and choices, and don't think you deserve a man who will give you what you want? It doesn't sound like you're asking for the world. Just a monogamous r…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 10:07 PM
7

No one is suggesting to break up over a music genre. What they may be implying is that this man is not in control enough of his thoughts and emotions, to the extent that the idea of someone listening to a particular genre of music in another location bothers him significantly. Unless he has actual trauma related to house music (in which case, what his he doing to address this?), this sounds like a massive red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 02:52 AM
3

It definitely sounds like projection. This is a big part of why you date before getting married, to find out if the person you're with has problems with drugs, alcohol, or mental health, and whether they have healthy responses to conflict.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 02:52 AM
6

Going into ECE is a good way to help with the baby fever! I volunteered with babies when I was your age for the same reason. If you don't trust yourself to be sexually active safely, make sure to get on sensible birth control that doesn't rely on you making good decisions in the heat of the moment.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/21 04:32 AM
7

Sure, but I'm saying that if OP chooses to take them over herself, rather than accepting how her husband does them OR working with her husband as a team to make them acceptable to her, she needs to do so without resentment - if she can't do that then she needs to work on one of the other options.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/21 03:08 AM
8

I don't think you have enough information to know if it's strategic incompetence or not - OP may be criticising unfairly. Eg "not folding clothes properly" is pretty nit picky. Also, working 15 hours a week, she still has 25h more a week than he does, most likely, so I don't know if it's reasonable to expect him to 'pick up the slack'. For most two parent families with kids in school, a full time stay at home parent is unlikely to have a full workload unless they're doing a lot of home cooking, …
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/21 01:24 AM
10

>You should take over the jobs because it's just easier ​ As long as you don't then get resentful.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/21 01:20 AM
10

Definitely stop trying to solve his problems - let him process in his own time and ways, and yes, manage your own emotions. So much of the behaviour that we see as controlling, nagging, etc, is actually insecurity/anxiety. If you need to ask for reassurance that he's not angry with you, a little bit is okay - but don't be needy or do it often. It's not his job to manage your emotions either.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:46 AM
41

I think that many women like to discuss the exact specifics of what their partners want and are attracted to... But I don't think that this is healthy because it leads to this sort of thing, ie unhealthy body goals. Even if you were obese (which 5'7" and 200lbs would be), your face will not have the same plumpness as in your youth - that's the nature of bodies and aging. Strive for a healthy weight and work on improving your attractiveness to your husband in ways that don't involve unhealthy wei…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:44 AM
13

He never admits it when i ask him about it, and says he is just tired. What's your end goal in bringing this up? What are you hoping to achieve? However I guess people dont learn emotional regulation very easily. He's not a child, and you're not his mother. Do not try to teach him to be less moody. If it's bad enough that you need to keep bringing it up, it's probably not something you want in a life partner. It's vitally important that you respect your partner as an adult whose emotions you don…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 02:37 AM
11

Your husband sounds like a kind, respectful, empathetic man, so bringing this topic up shouldn't be a matter of 'playing your cards right'. That said, I would wait until you've done some serious introspection before you bring this up. It seems like you have some insecurities and dissatisfactions with yourself and your life and your marriage that aren't to do with having children or not.
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 10:53 PM
10

And yet he's still coming back - it sounds like you're giving him mixed signals. I don't mean that in a victim blaming way but from the way you've talked about it. Are you talking to him when he comes to your workplace, or avoiding him?
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 10:50 PM
13

That's not how it works. The whole point is that your actions/behaviour/soft resistance are making you more of a 'prize' in his eyes than you would be if you'd given in to his attention a year ago.
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 10:16 PM
12

A) so how long has your romantic relationship been going on - how long together and how long married? B) so a baby isn't off the table, but you nixed it at the time? It sounds to me like you're experiencing hypergamy and being dissatisfied in your relationship and looking elsewhere for easier, greener grass. But the grass isn't really greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. If I were you, I'd firmly cut off the other man (and if I couldn't, I'd quit the job where I'm exposed …
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 10:12 PM
7

Please can you read through and answer the Seeking Advice questions from the sidebar. Please can you also let us know more about the following: A) why the break before engagement? What happened there? B) to what extent have you and your husband discussed fertility - eg is he against IVF, sperm donation, etc?
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 09:01 PM
5

That's not a helpful comment. How would you feel if your home was being dominated by an abrasive 12 year old who called you a 'hideous old hag' and your husband laughed it off?
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 08:43 PM
14

If only there were some sort of helpful guide in the 'about' section, like a wiki. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/wiki/index/
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/21 05:15 AM
13

Clearly it's time to become a bookkeeper!! 😂
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/21 09:30 AM
7

Are you not a bookkeeper like your username? Bookkeeping is a great option for freelancing or working from home.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/21 09:25 AM
5

It's a lot less likely that the man you met at the beginning is the true man, but I'm sure you know that. Do your family and friends (the sensible ones) approve of your relationship, specifically the being engaged so quickly? For a bit of contrast: I was engaged to my husband within a year, and married within two. The timeline isn't the problem, it's the red flags. For me, there were no red flags like him being cruel to me (calling me names), blaming things on my personality/implying that I was …
/r/RedPillWives19/12/21 10:24 PM
11

The combination of dead bedroom, very unkind words, and delusions (?) makes me very curious as to why you're engaged to this man after less than a year. Is your self esteem really bad and do you think he's the best you're going to get? What are you getting out of this relationship?
/r/RedPillWives19/12/21 09:36 PM
4

If it's increasing now, before you have children and the pressures of being the breadwinner for a whole family, I would take a very hard look at what you want for your future.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 08:04 PM
2

Please can you read through and answer the Seeking Advice questions from the sidebar?
/r/RedPillWives16/12/21 06:53 AM
8

You're calling people aggressive for disagreeing with you. It sure sounds defensive to me. Might be a good idea to take a breath and reassess.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 08:05 PM
12

You're not being attacked, you're being disagreed with because you started out with a sweeping declaration of 'no HVM would be into [anime]'. If you can't handle disagreement, don't say highly controversial things without evidence to back them up. PS: also, your ideas about anime are very culturally specific. Do you think a high value man in Japan would agree with you?
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 07:40 PM
10

Generally, but more specifically that we acknowledge the differences between the sexes (not suggesting that they're the same for everyone) and discuss how we can improve our lives with this knowledge. Most of the people here are traditionally 'feminine' women in relationships with men, but not all. There are also lots of feminists here, it's just not something that we discuss.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/21 09:34 AM
6

Okay, thanks for clarifying. Yes, there's a reason you won't find much love for TW around these parts - what she advocates isn't healthy for women. We do not condone abusive relationships here. I'm going to remove this one now as I think you've probably gotten what you needed - clarification that TW isn't someone that most women here would suggest is a good source of advice.
/r/RedPillWives07/12/21 08:19 PM
3

RPW supports traditional relationships if they're healthy for both parties - not if someone is being abused.
/r/RedPillWives07/12/21 08:16 PM
3

Well, that's unfortunate - I've clearly not communicated well here, for which I'm sorry. I have very strong opinions about Transformed Wife, but my impression of OP's post was mostly that it was seeking outrage fuel - otherwise, why come to a forum you don't participate in to share something by an author you don't agree with? I was trying to tease out her reasons for posting, without stating my opinion, because I was comfortable with the unanimous comments so far that explained that RPW doesn't …
/r/RedPillWives07/12/21 08:13 PM
–

Hi Jackie! Because this is your first post here, and you've started off with a doozy, the mods will be watching this carefully. It could be interpreted as a trolling post. What inspired you to post to this subreddit for the first time? Could you tell us more about your opinions on this person's content? Is there any of it that you think could be valuable, or do you think that on the whole it's not healthy?
/r/RedPillWives07/12/21 01:29 AM
21

Possibly he's also wondering 'what is she going to do if this modeling/influencing thing doesn't work out' to see if she has reasonable future plans.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/21 04:40 AM
3

How is the eye contact? Oral without communication (eye contact, noises, dirty talk) can feel pretty disconnected.
/r/RedPillWives05/12/21 08:35 PM
4

Me too, wow.
/r/RedPillWives30/11/21 08:06 PM
8

Some quality men will care, and some won't. I have a body count of near that number and am happily married to a lovely man.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/21 02:16 AM
32

Girllll why have you stopped working? That's a wife-level move, in a stable relationship where you have good communication about money and expectations. You're clearly not there if you don't trust him to be responsible ('every now and then he wants to spend $1,000 on his hobbies but I stop him') and don't have a clear, shared idea of what's reasonable expenditure ('I hate feeling like I don’t know how much money I’m allowed to spend on certain things.). Shared finances are complex and put you in…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/21 09:12 AM
8

It happened to me around 21. Pretty normal!
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 07:44 PM
3

I have seen men in real life leave their wives & kids for a younger and hotter woman who are "in need" of their protection Sounds like these men may have missed feeling needed & in control & masculine in their marriages. Just a theory.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 08:15 PM
1

Oh, I'm so glad you're back & safe & had a happy ending to this chapter of your life.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 09:07 PM
6

Sending you big, big hugs, OP. I can only imagine how hard it has been for you, losing a pregnancy and your feeling of security and health in your body all so quickly. I hope that you heal quickly - the cancer treatment is as easy as it can be, and that motherhood is in your near future, and that you can learn to trust your body again soon after this difficult time. If you haven't already, I strongly suggest you take advantage of any counseling or therapy that's available to you, either privatel…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 11:18 AM
3

As someone currently experiencing infertility, I wouldn't recommend TFAB to someone in OP's situation - I know I can find it hard to browse there full of happy young things on their second month of trying, and spouting bingos (the trite and silly sayings that people share willy nilly without considering the feelings of others who might have suffered a loss). /r/ttcafterloss might be a better fit for OP when she's ready.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 11:13 AM
17

Have you seen a dermatologist? I can't imagine that the damage you've done to your skin is permanent, and it's perhaps premature to be considering a facelift - and a poor facelift could very easily make it worse.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 10:11 AM
4

It’s like his inabilities are almost as enticing to me as his abilities, and I don’t quite get it. Sounds like you're excelling at the delicate (feminine?) work while he leads with the other stuff, and it's emphasizing the masculine/feminine dynamic.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/21 11:04 AM
1

Any of the Jane Austen adaptations, bonus points for BBC versions.
/r/RedPillWives24/10/21 10:58 AM
1

*bring your captain your problem! I had to reread that a few times to work out out!
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 09:00 PM
3

I think that going into an industry with hopes to change the culture/politics of the industry, as a new grad and without a passion or a clear idea of what you want to do and how you want to do it, is unwise. I've seen people do that and quickly make themselves unpopular and unemployable because they didn't have the wisdom or delicacy yet to make their changes sustainable and not get the establishment off side. Why not get some work experience first before trying to spread red pill values in a fi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/21 02:24 AM
0

I've just read that you're 20. How long have your cycles been regular?
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 08:41 PM
4

I'm not discounting that it could be the vaccine, but are there any other changes that have occurred during this time? Weight loss, diet change, stress, use of Plan B, illness, all could also be causing this sort of symptom.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 08:30 PM
10

Someone can be an amazing woman and a terrible wife. You never never know what's going on in someone else's marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 08:22 PM
1

Please can you add the information from the Seeking Advice questions: https://reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/w/advice
/r/RedPillWives12/10/21 07:55 PM
–

OP, this is not a situation that you can RP your way out of. You're in physical danger: specifically, men who choke women will often kill them. Go with your family. Care for yourself. Show yourself love and respect: you deserve better than a man who hurts you. This is not a HVM. You can find more resources here: https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/get-help/state-resources
/r/RedPillWives06/10/21 09:02 PM
5

As other posters have said, you don't need to go down any particular path right now! But being aware of RP principles & common pitfalls is sensible. If I were you, I would be focusing on my physical, emotional, and mental health: making sure you're taking care of yourself mentally and physically & surrounding yourself with healthy joys and positive influences. Perhaps a bit of 'cocoon mode', where you focus on yourself and avoid dating, could be healthy!
/r/RedPillWives16/09/21 09:10 AM
–

Please read the rules of the subreddit and edit your post to comply.
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 08:42 PM
2

It's a good question, and I've noticed it too. Let's discuss privately.
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 08:34 PM
27

And he was not respectful to OP when throwing out food that she bought when they'd been dating only a few weeks. Even if he replaced it with things that were more expensive, it shows no respect for her decision making.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:59 AM
17

It often is. But that doesn't mean it's appropriate for you. Personally, I wouldn't. Flexibility is important in life - it's more important to me that we have healthy relationships with couples in our community than it is that we avoid GMO food or chicken.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:36 AM
46

It's okay not to want to be with a man who controls what you eat & throws out the things you've spent money on without talking to you. Or wanting a man who won't embarrass you at parties by being rude and ungrateful. That doesn't make you not RP.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:30 AM
2

There's a discord group, message me if you're interested.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 08:36 PM
7

We're concerned because we're seeing a pattern that you're downplaying. He wants a 'free trial' of Housewife without any commitment - have you ever gotten a free subscription with no end date? No, because there's absolutely no incentive to start paying for a subscription when you're getting it entirely for free. What's to stop him adding more requirements at the end of 2022? Absolutely nothing. Or proposing but not getting married until what, you get a boob job? He's giving you hoops to jump thr…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 08:34 PM
3

A year of study that leads to a decent job with no debt sounds reasonable - what's the area, and how certain are you off a decent paying job at the end of it? (Edit: I've spoken to OP privately and it's a good, safe option, no need to ask further). If putting in that energy now means that you can 'take [your] foot off the gas' after that, then that's a decent compromise... But make sure that's realistic, and that you're not going to be tempted to keep on the career + hedonic treadmill and contin…
/r/RedPillWives20/08/21 11:39 PM
7

Do you have friends in your course/department to talk to? You need to get your complex disciplinary thoughts out to someone, and your partner should be okay with a bit of talking about your area of interest/study, but he cannot be your only outlet.
/r/RedPillWives12/08/21 11:37 PM
4

Thanks Sunshine! Yes, when those are the only voices it's pretty frustrating.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 08:50 AM
8

It wasn't my comment. That's a fair enough perspective, but I also think there's value in these one liners in the they back up the (more eloquently stated) other comments.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 08:38 AM
11

Very very short time together, massive age gap in the direction that is much less likely to work, he's mean to her.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 08:24 AM
2

Remove your first sentence and I'll reapprove your comment :)
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 06:54 AM
9

Class is about more than money, it's about taste and values. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2015/02/class-differences is a good little article. Value is about what he brings to a relationship. A hard working, attractive, kind, intelligent plumber, whose parents worked in factories, isn't 'upper class' and might not be 'middle class' but he can still be high value to many women. On the other hand, a member of the aristocracy who has lots of money but is unattractive, socially awkward and unkind may …
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/21 10:43 PM
6

Is he actually a HVM or just high class? They're not the same.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/21 10:08 PM
8

Do you think that it should be legislated because it works for you?
/r/RedPillWives15/07/21 01:03 PM
2

I like @kolbee.love on Instagram.
/r/RedPillWives14/07/21 10:15 PM
2

he wants me to be attentive to him, and chatty, and happy, and he really could care less if the floor is clean. Which is sweet but sort of irritating when I'm trying to clean the floor and he's chatting Sounds like my husband too. I am trying to prioritise the chatty attentive bits and not obsess about housework.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/21 10:09 PM
3

Big hugs, hon! It sounds like you're going through a LOT and I can only imagine how stressful it is. Make sure you're taking time for yourself and looking after your needs - you're just as important as your husband, your mother in law, your daughter in law and anyone else who is requiring lots of care at the moment.
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 09:34 AM
17

In general, I would agree - most of these are "I statements" (good!) but they're "I need" rather than "I feel" and they all point to a very specific expectation. There's a big difference between: ​ "I need my feelings to be acknowledged" (ie "you need to acknowledge my feelings") ​ and ​ ​ "I'm feeling like you aren't hearing me when I tell you my feelings." ​ ​ That said: these explicit statements would be helpful for women in relationships with men who struggle to understand vague cues, or who…
/r/RedPillWives30/06/21 06:22 AM
3

If he really wanted to see you, he would come see you. Don't let him walk all over you by expecting you to drive several hours because he's never gotten around to getting a driver's license.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/21 09:26 AM
2

There is no official discord server. There is a server with lots of RPW in it but we don't advertise, and only members with a history of participation are invited. If you're interested, you can message me, but please don't bother if you haven't been active here - it's a safe space and we're not inviting people without trust.
/r/RedPillWives18/06/21 11:55 PM
3

That's good that you're working! I think you should still be considering other education, even with little ones - there are lots of flexible options that would allow you to maintain your skills and employability while you care for your babies.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:20 PM
9

I think probably it also makes people worry more about you - being a young housewife with a baby and no qualifications and a disability that makes it harder to get work is a very very vulnerable position to be in, even with a good man. It's important that you're empowered enough to support you and the baby if, god forbid, something happens to your husband. That's why I think it's important that you pursue some further education and learn a trade, and have some money in your own name.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:16 PM
5

I would too. It's not nice that people are making this about your writing skills rather than your relationship questions.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:07 PM
3

I'm glad that he is a great guy :) I'm sure he'll support you wanting to get some qualifications, a good leader wants to make sure their followers can look after themselves if they're not there. Do you have access to money? That might be another reason people are concerned. Make sure you have a bank account in just your own name with some money that you can access in an emergency!
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 10:04 PM
12

None of those modafinil drugs have been tested on pregnant or breastfeeding women, and have a decent potential for abuse. Please don't recommend then to a woman with a new baby.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 05:09 AM
3

It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you, or that you're lazy! If you reframe it as 'semiretirement' or 'taking time off to avoid burnout', does that feel better?
/r/RedPillWives15/06/21 05:07 AM
13

Do you think that every single family member and friend expressing concern is sillier than you are?
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/21 10:24 PM
14

I don't think that OP's family and friends are judging based on stigma. It sounds like they have some significant and reasonable concerns about OP's future as a young mother without a high school degree or any marketable skills, in a country where 42% of marriages end in divorce (UK & Wales office for national statistics 2012).
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/21 09:42 PM
67

Congratulations on your pregnancy, it's clear that it's something you're excited about and that you'll love this child very much. I think that the people in your life are probably more worried than anything else, and I can understand that. A 17 year old dating and then marrying and being pregnant within two years, to a man significantly older than her, raises some big red flags. There's a significant gap between your maturity levels, life experience, and more importantly, POWER. He is bringing i…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/21 09:27 PM
1

Sexuality doesn't disappear with age. Sure, we aren't quite as flexible as we used to be... But a healthy relationship between two healthy adults can still be a sexy, active thing even when they're old. There's a reason that STDs spread like wildfire in nursing homes :P
/r/RedPillWives14/06/21 01:58 AM
1

Did you read the replies? There's lots of self hatred and internalized misogyny all over the internet... But read what the women here are actually saying.
/r/RedPillWives14/06/21 01:56 AM
1

What is a woman's value (to a partner, not inherent), in general? Think about it, then consider how those factors change over a lifetime. When you're 18, it might be mostly about being a fun, sweet, sexy companion. You're not being valued as a provider or a mother, but the potential of those things is relevant. In your 20s, maybe it's being an adventure partner and a financial contributor, in addition to the above. In your thirties, for many of us it's using our bodies to bring babies into the w…
/r/RedPillWives14/06/21 01:55 AM
2

But they conveniently forgot all the things my husband and I sacrificed that they still had, like holidays, new cars etc, to make this work. Ain't that always the way! I have a sister in law who does the same things, complains about how poor they are and how well off we are, conveniently ignoring all the lifestyle differences between us. Sigh.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/21 09:09 PM
3

Please remove the third sentence - that's a big conclusion you're jumping to and inappropriate. I'll reapprove when you do that.
/r/RedPillWives06/06/21 09:43 PM
1

Please do that asap.
/r/RedPillWives06/06/21 09:41 PM
10

That's generally correct. In this case, I think it's not addressing the root of the issue though - is it reasonable or healthy to demand a hairless (no peach fuzz) woman then make her feel bad for not meeting that ideal?
/r/RedPillWives06/06/21 09:39 PM
1

Active members may request a link, but we don't share it willy nilly. Why would you want to join, as a man who doesn't participate here?
/r/RedPillWives06/06/21 01:03 PM
52

Is your husband into porn? I ask because this level of concern about body hair is not normal - fair enough if he prefers shaved armpits or legs or bikini area, but the fuzz that exists all over a normal human body is not the same thing. Also, 'I'm not employed so I can't afford' - do you not share finances? This is certainly his problem to deal with. I also wonder what else that means for his attraction to you - it sounds very fickle. What happens if you get pregnant and can't shave? Please coul…
/r/RedPillWives06/06/21 05:40 AM
1

Nice work! So glad to hear it. I would still be very careful with the dogs and the kids - but it sounds like you're off to a great start.
/r/RedPillWives03/06/21 09:13 PM
5

Is your life better with this man (as he is - not as you wish he would be) better than it would be alone?
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/21 09:44 PM
3

I thought of that name too, but did think it was a bit too close to my name... But I'm fine with it if others would like to adopt it.
/r/RedPillWives22/05/21 10:00 PM
4

As you've been reading Laura Doyle, have you been following the advice about self care? Being a 'soft place to land' can only happen if you're tending to your own needs and ensuring that you have the emotional space and strength to be 'soft'.
/r/RedPillWives22/05/21 09:44 PM
0

>Have enough self respect to walk away if he won't. ​ I think this might be a bit too extreme, but I agree with all of your other points - specifically that there is a lot of value in having legal contract between two people when committing your lives to each other. Particularly if you're the partner who is likely to stay home, raise children and sacrifice a career. There's a reason marriage exists. If he refuses marriage but is willing to accept an alternative legal arrangement (I don't know wh…
/r/RedPillWives09/05/21 03:28 AM
7

That's fair enough. But it's also fair to make sure that you are both legally protected in the case of a separation. Which is why I asked if you were in a common law marriage state.
/r/RedPillWives09/05/21 03:24 AM
5

Not sending a photo when you straight-up asked for it is sketch. Anyone who won't send a selfie when discussing meeting up with someone is a big red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/21 03:22 AM
7

That sounds difficult! It sounds like he's feeling a bit insecure that you're able to earn more than he does through only four hours a day working, and that you're also doing the bulk of the house and childcare. With that in mind, the key thing is to make sure he is feeling appreciated for what he does to provide for the family - To make him feel appreciated, I would focus on the things he does around the house, how great he is with your child, and let him spoil you sometimes too - receive graci…
/r/RedPillWives09/05/21 03:20 AM
5

Slow down, reread your post, put some line breaks in and you'll get better replies :)
/r/RedPillWives08/05/21 10:47 PM
5

Also, are you sharing finances, having children, is one of you staying home, are you in a common law marriage state?
/r/RedPillWives08/05/21 10:47 PM
2

There's a point in the first bit where you refer to a 'she', who is that?
/r/RedPillWives08/05/21 10:46 PM
8

Please can you add a bit more info to your post? Particularly about his views, your views, etc.
/r/RedPillWives08/05/21 10:13 PM
3

>I might be confused, I thought red pill wives was like the female counterpart to married red pill, and so im kind of surprised by the negativity. ​ Sort of but not really. The attitudes of the men over there are probably not what you want your husband to emulate - while there are some quality, sensible male posters, there is also a lot of ranting and echo-chamber activity with men who are angry at women.
/r/RedPillWives05/05/21 08:04 AM
1

It bums me out too. I tried to excuse it for a long time and say she didn't realize it, but the accounts and posts she follows and interacts with are too explicit to be ignored.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 08:23 PM
3

The title was definitely inflammatory - note that this wasn't Stevie's title, but a repost of a classic post by someone else.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 08:21 PM
3

So yes, we should acknowledge the sacrifices our partners have made for us and our relationships, but to blame women for the failures of men achieves very little. It's not about blame, wingnut's inflammatory title aside, it's about what we can do about it. We can't control anyone but ourselves, so turning it into a blame game doesn't help. We CAN keep our partner's sacrifices in mind and make sure we help minimize them as much as possible.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 08:19 PM
11

Look at how much he loves me and how committed he is to me. He chose to forego something he's really passionate about, just for me. That's a good alternative if you're struggling with that discomfort. But it doesn't conflict with Stevie's point, that there are parts of the sacrifice that we can help minimize. Not all of them - most of us aren't keen on opening our marriages to 'allow' our men to sleep with other women... But I think most of us should be comfortable enough to encourage him to go …
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 12:06 PM
16

The choice of title is probably where a lot of the pushback is coming from 😜 It's also a bit uncomfortable to think 'this is what my husband missed out on to marry me', and I think there's a tendency to generalize our own perspectives to theirs to avoid that discomfort - eg 'having a family is the biggest adventure you can have' might be true for a lot of women, but probably doesn't feel the same to many men.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 11:51 AM
2

You're absolutely right, he chose to ..but acknowledging the sacrifices that he's made by marrying and supporting him to go out and enjoy some of the things he has mostly given up is likely to lead to a happier, healthier partner and marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 11:48 AM
2

Mrs Midwest is one of the sneaky white supremacists/white supremacists lite I mentioned, fyi. It's a real pity, I enjoy her content but she follows/supports a bunch of gross white nationalist shit 🤮🤮🤮
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 11:42 AM
1

For sure. I embrace my femininity because it works for me, and my marriage - and I think lots of other women might feel the same! But if they don't, that's okay! I certainly don't want to impose that on anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/21 10:21 AM
4

Same. But for some people, traditionalism goes all the way to intense nationalism and racism, it's super scary.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/21 09:27 AM
3

You're welcome. I like @sweetmagnolias, @katrinaariana, and @chouxpastryhome
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/21 09:26 AM
5

Be careful of who you follow. The number of popular instagrammers in the 'femininity' sphere who are secretly or not-so-secretly linked to white supremacy is horrifying to me.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/21 09:11 AM
5

Think about all the things you do to make his life easier. Make a list if you have to, to remind yourself of the value of your contributions. It can be hard to feel like you're being looked after, but you DO contribute, if not primarily monetarily.
/r/RedPillWives02/05/21 04:30 AM
5

Yes. When you're considering having children with someone, or bringing them into a parental role in your children's lives, your children's needs come first. And that means a parent who considers their needs carefully and acts responsibly.
/r/RedPillWives28/04/21 09:51 PM
2

IS there a way to explicitly say like hey your dog really needs some behavioral training? There is, but that sounds like telling your boyfriend what to do, and that's not great for the relationship in the long run. Instead, focus on you, your feelings and your boundaries: 'I don't feel safe with the kids around your dog', 'it scares me when the dog jumps up on me and doesn't listen', 'I don't enjoy being around an animal that doesn't follow commands'. From there, if he's interested in a serious …
/r/RedPillWives28/04/21 11:19 AM
4

Your BF doesn't seem too fussed at the idea that his dog might be scaring his girlfriend, and making her not want to have her children around him. He could be a bit blind, or he could not care. Which do you think it might be? ​ >When we’ve talked about parenting, he seems like he’s a believer in a fairly strict approach - which is the same as me. But that’s easy to say when you don’t have actually children. It certainly is. We don't have children, but my husband and I have talked extensively abo…
/r/RedPillWives28/04/21 03:28 AM
2

I do the original 'bullet journal', with coded dots and stuff, not trying to make it fancy and elaborate! My main 'hack' is using erasable pens so that my perfectionism doesn't cause me to pull out every page with an error in it!
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/21 08:57 AM
6

You're also very welcome to post such things here, if you like. I know lots of ladies would love to support you with your goals.
/r/RedPillWives08/04/21 02:50 AM
4

This isn't helpful to OP. Please consider more carefully before posting.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/21 01:30 AM
2

No thank you.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/21 01:29 AM
8

Wow. Sounds like a really difficult relationship to be in. Why did you marry him, then have children with him? How does he treat the children?
/r/RedPillWives03/04/21 09:53 PM
7

I've seen your other post. Has he always been this grumpy/angry? How old are you both, how long have you been together, how old are your kids, what's your living situation?
/r/RedPillWives03/04/21 09:40 PM
9

Is this new behavior? What else is going on in your lives together? How is his job, and his stress levels?
/r/RedPillWives03/04/21 09:27 PM
11

> I do not feel very comfortable in this subreddit, and may be in the wrong place altogether. The reason for my discomfort is that I consider myself to be on the left and progressive side of the spectrum, out of a strong sense that we are all equal and deserve each other's and the state's support, and the freedom to live our lives as we wish. I am a postgraduate student in ecology and evolutionary biology, I live in a non-conservative environment, I am not religious, I am a firm believer of equa…
/r/RedPillWives01/04/21 08:05 AM
3

Sounds lovely.
/r/RedPillWives31/03/21 09:47 PM
6

Congratulations! May you keep this energy for all of your lives together :)
/r/RedPillWives31/03/21 09:17 PM
4

I'm not saying you need to change them. I'm asking if he acknowledges their toxicity - and he does. Does he notice the patterns of theirs that he is repeating? Does he understand that he's inherited some of their traits?
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 10:57 PM
3

Does he acknowledge the toxic traits of his family?
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 10:52 PM
8

Not telling him. Showing him. Demonstrating vulnerability. Not 'you're doing the wrong thing and need to go to counseling' but 'you're hurting me and the children and it makes me sad'. Can you keep the babies away from him when he's angry? I'd want to make him aware of how yelling at little children impacts their mental development. https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/parents-yell-affect-child-development-laura-markham/ https://www.parents.com/baby/all-about-babies/babies-know-when-youre-angry-an…
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 09:16 PM
8

That's good at least. But really, shouting at the babies is pretty awful - seriously. Does he know how badly this affects you? Do you show your sadness and hurt, or hide it?
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 09:10 PM
3

I agree. The checklist was a good idea. Just be careful on labelling things, and be aware of where your own background might be impacting your judgement.
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 09:08 PM
-6

It sounds like you're projecting your own experiences onto OP, who hasn't said these things. Labels are powerful.
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 08:59 PM
14

Have you read Surrendered Wife? I think you should give it a look. Right now, his temper is affecting you, but it's also affecting your children. Yelling at a baby is not okay, and can lead to lots of issues later on. I'm assuming that he hasn't gotten physical. Is that correct?
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 08:55 PM
7

Shouting isn't automatically abusive. But shouting at a baby is awful.
/r/RedPillWives28/03/21 08:46 PM
4

Look up 'hygge' tips for lots of great ideas!
/r/RedPillWives25/03/21 09:28 PM
1

Could you move the athletic shoe area to somewhere more ventilated?
/r/RedPillWives22/03/21 10:09 PM
20

It's okay to be weak and sad sometimes. Just don't let it overwhelm you. If you had a friend who wrote this post about herself, how would you reply to her?
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/21 09:11 PM
2

Their income appears to be such that she doesn't have to work (she's said elsewhere) and that when she does work, they can afford childcare, all without relying on his non passive income contribution. That's pretty comfortable. You don't suggest divorce directly, but you mention it as a possibility if he doesn't earn more money. That's definitely not helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/21 01:08 AM
5

Of course they lead to some issues. But if you want a red pill marriage, then you can't be trying to lead him/make him do things the way you want. Trust him, show your vulnerability and express your feelings, then stand back and let him do what he (apparently) does quite well.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/21 12:44 AM
1

This is terrible, non RP advice. He HAS gotten earnings together that are comfortable to support a whole family, she just doesn't like how he goes about it/that it's not bigger. She's married him and has a child with him, divorcing over this would be ridiculous. Your strategy of being an 'accountability partner' is just bossing/nagging in disguise.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/21 12:42 AM
10

Did he work to get that rental property and the annuity? Is he a hard worker? Or is he a loser who refuses to ever get a real job and just lucked into getting several reliable passive income streams? So for context, I've had to struggle with these anxieties myself. My husband is a software professional, and has been self employed for probably 70% of our life together. I've had to deal with my share of anxiety during the times when he's been doing the more creative, risky stuff - the months where…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/21 09:31 PM
1

Where are you seeing that he's framing it like that?
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/21 09:17 PM
10

Sure, but they are a massive contributor that allows him to choose more risky, creative types of work, right? Are you in financial danger?
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/21 09:15 PM
20

I'm a little confused. Why do you keep factoring out the rental income and annuity? Are they not paying the majority of your expenses?
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/21 08:59 PM
6

New relationships are a heady cocktail of excitement, longing, hormones, and newness. That does go away. But that's not love, or attraction. Love builds and grows over time. I love my husband more now than I did at the start - the more I know him, and the more we go through together, the more my feelings towards him strengthen. Maybe it's not fireworks, like the headiness of a new love, but it's rich and deep and strong. Attraction, in my experience, varies. As long as you have had an initial sp…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/21 06:54 AM
8

≥I saw someone on here earlier today/the other day talking about when her boyfriend said "I love you" during sex and she said she wished he would've said it under "more romantic circumstances." Hmm, I think I disagree with your reading of that comment! It's not that sex isn't/can't be romantic, but people will absolutely say things while in the thrall of sexual excitement and heady hormones. She's probably not sure if he was saying it because he meant it, or in the heat of the moment because the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/21 06:48 AM
10

A woman who is the perfect complement to her husband's skills and needs, supporting him to be the best he can be while striving to meet her own potential. She might work outside or inside the home, but her home is a place of comfort and renewal. She might have children or she might not, but she has a nurturing spirit, reflected in her relationships, her home, and her treatment of herself.
/r/RedPillWives16/03/21 08:00 PM
2

Does he expect his parents to provide for emergencies? Is their wealth (I'm assuming they're wealthy) something he's relying on?
/r/RedPillWives13/03/21 08:29 PM
–

This man is not husband material. You're still in the vetting stage, and he's shown you exactly who he is: someone who will criticise you endlessly, have unreasonable expectations, and seems to hate women. He is deliberately criticising you to lower your self esteem so that you think you can't do any better than him and won't leave him. Don't fall for it.
/r/RedPillWives11/03/21 08:13 PM
4

It feels unfair because he’s the one who wants to keep the kids home, he’s the one who wants to own a home (he actually wants to build a new home), and he’s the one who has to do something about it and he just has done nothing to make it happen. So that's the crux of it. You need to be clear with him on what's important to you (having kids in a space bigger than a shoebox in an area without stray bullets, and staying home with them when they're little) and let him work out what he's willing to c…
/r/RedPillWives10/03/21 11:47 PM
5

I guess the question is, what can YOU compromise on? There seem to be lot of little things that you are taking as non negotiables, and that's unfortunately not how life works - if 'a nice house in a nice area where I can have multiple children before age X' is a non negotiable for you, then you might have a tough time.
/r/RedPillWives10/03/21 11:04 PM
5

I'm surprised - you say you're in one of the LCOL areas but there are no houses for less than $200k? What about units or apartments? What can you compromise on?
/r/RedPillWives10/03/21 10:28 PM
7

Does he know how much it would break your heart if you weren't able to have children for financial reasons? Does he realise that it gets harder the older you get, and how costly IVF or adoption would be?
/r/RedPillWives10/03/21 10:26 PM
21

Some questions: 'We can't move to a lower COL area' - why not? Whose decision is that? 'He wants to homeschool the kids'. What do you want? If he has to accept you working for financial reasons, will you mind not homeschooling? Three kids: who's saying you have to have three kids?
/r/RedPillWives10/03/21 08:47 PM
3

Communication is a skill. Managing your emotions is a skill. Given that you are having a second child with this man, there's clearly something there that you think is worth looking after. How are you trying to improve this situation? Therapy, self help books, RPW concepts, what are you doing?
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/21 12:12 PM
17

When my husband and I started discussing purchasing a home together, I told him I didn't want to do that with someone I wasn't married to. He listened and we went ring shopping. State your boundaries and he'll work with you to make sure you're on the same page... or he won't.
/r/RedPillWives08/03/21 07:01 AM
2

Yeah, if it was uncharacteristic I think it was probably not about you, and more about feeling threatened/criticized/judged by his parents. But again, could definitely be off base - you'd know better than me!
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 10:50 PM
3

If this is the case and it's not a pattern of behavior (of him being closed off and unwilling to discuss his decision making in general), I'd be inclined to leave it and ask later on. I know my husband needs an hour or two of decompression after we see one of his parents, and he can be snappy with me afterwards if he doesn't have time to cool down.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 10:32 PM
16

I could be completely off base here, but I know that spending time with family, particularly parents, can leave people feeling a bit emotionally raw. Your husband may have felt criticized and questioned by his father during the visit, and then feels criticized by you asking questions afterwards. Is that a possibility? Alternatively, he could be a jerk. Is this a common pattern of behavior?
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 10:11 PM
4

I would, because I trust my husband and know that he makes sensible choices about drugs and women, and know that he'd afford me the same if I wanted. I also know that having a passion is vital for a man - one night a week sounds completely reasonable, especially if it means he's willing to sole parent for another night so you can go to your belly dance class or your CWA meeting or whatever it is that gets your joy up. What are you worried about? Do you trust him with substances? What about drunk…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/21 03:44 AM
7

You and your husband can decide what is best for you. But many men, even if they say they're okay with opening up the marriage, won't actually be okay with it when it happens. I'm younger than you. I can't speak to what a mid life crisis might feel like. What I can say though, is that the grass is unlikely to be greener on the other side... The grass is greener where you water it. I'd focus on your own pasture, if I were you.
/r/RedPillWives03/03/21 06:28 AM
18

Your position in the 'sexual marketplace' is no longer relevant, as you're 'off the market'.. But the traits that continue to your SMV still matter. You deserve to feel beautiful, you deserve to feel sexy, and your husband deserves a wife who maximizes her sex appeal (to him).
/r/RedPillWives03/03/21 06:23 AM
8

How's your self care? Are you eating properly, moving your body, doing activities you like, and spending time with friends? I am guessing not.
/r/RedPillWives24/02/21 10:36 AM
2

If he's consistently taking that long in the bathroom, I'd start feeding him Metamucil and being concerned about his bowel health. He must be unwell if he takes that long. Right?
/r/RedPillWives19/02/21 09:36 PM
3

Teaching is a tough gig. But the skills you've got are very valuable, and you don't have to be a teacher to use them. You'll be employable in childcare, tutoring, and education support, even if you don't keep teaching. I quit after two years of Middle school teaching, and my degree has been useful in other ways and I haven't had trouble finding work (pandemic aside). Relax.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/21 08:32 PM
2

It's frustrating. I've been downvoted significantly for sharing my experiences as a child of someone mentally ill - I would never say "if you're mentally ill, you can't have children" - I'm mentally ill myself. But sharing experiences is vital.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/21 12:02 AM
29

I think you're jumping a few steps here. You don't have to have kids just because it's the done thing, and just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean it's time to start planning for a baby. Have you read many resources about parenting with ASD? Here's a report on mothers with ASD and their experiences, which identifies some of the commonly experienced challenges. https://imfar.confex.com/imfar/2016/webprogram/Paper22166.html
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/21 08:01 PM
–

Okay, that's enough. This question is more suited to /r/marriedredpill - but chances are they're going to say the same things as the ladies here have, but less softly.
/r/RedPillWives10/02/21 08:53 PM
3

Men are allowed to ask for advice here, but need to follow the rules, including answering the Asking For Advice rules.
/r/RedPillWives10/02/21 08:52 PM
4

I could be wrong, I'm from Victoria, but I know a lot of the "joking" about accents from folks up north is often racial and usually classist - was that your perception in this case?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/21 10:59 AM
2

Most people would consider beating any creature who feels pain and can't defend themselves 'not okay'. Your partner seems to have indicated that he doesn't hold that belief.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/21 08:54 PM
1

It's important to distinguish between an ultimatum and a deal breaker/boundary. I don't agree with ultimatums - 'change your behavior or I will punish you by leaving'. But boundaries are different: 'if you do not change your behavior, I will be forced to leave because I cannot live with your behavior as it is". Edit: from a red pill lens, stating a deal breaker like this is demonstrating your vulnerability. You're not saying 'change because I want to control you', you're saying 'please help, I c…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/21 08:52 PM
2

People are hard, and relationships are hard... But they shouldn't be this hard. You shouldn't have to be the one who is responsible for your partner's mental health. If he were in therapy, considering medication, and taking responsibility for his own health, my reply would be different. But as things are, it sounds like he's not trying to get better. He does not sound like a fit parent, so if you want kids you'd better consider that.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/21 03:25 AM
4

Northern Territory, a big chunk of the top of Central Australia. Capital: Darwin. Main industry: being eaten by crocodiles.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/21 03:33 AM
2

It's also not that hard to go from ugly face to cute. Learning a half-decent basic makeup and hair routine will put you above lots of women.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/21 06:34 AM
3

Sounds like you should tell them that! That would also give them the signal that maybe you're keen to hang out - perhaps a good chance to invite them out for a coffee! PS: I'd love to hear more about this ladies club! It sounds really lovely.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/21 09:40 AM
4

If you're honest about it, I doubt it would seem social climbery! Why are you interested in the club? To meet more female friends with similar interests and values? Tell them that.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/21 07:04 AM
11

It might be worth reaching out to those women and saying "hey, I hear you're in X club - I'm hoping to become a member, can you point me in the right direction?" That leaves it open for them to invite you, but doesn't put pressure on them to do so.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/21 06:24 AM
5

Sounds awesome! You can always suggest more things, be brave!
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/21 10:27 AM
3

Yeah, downside of having a 60yo spouse :( is there anyone at your church who you can talk to over the phone? Perhaps some older ladies who might also be feeling isolated? Try talking to your church leaders and see if they can recommend anything?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/21 10:27 AM
3

How else could you foster those connections? Do you have any family to support you? What about your husband - presumably he has family you could lean on for company?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/21 10:05 AM
3

But perhaps you could reach out to friends online if they think you've softened your stance? It's understandable that they might be extra emotional about the issue if they're mothers with little ones. Regardless of how you go about it, it sounds like you need more social connections and support.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/21 10:02 AM
14

It sounds like you're going through a lot. I see from your comment history that you've lost some friends due to differing attitudes towards COVID. While I recognise that your anti vaccine, anti mask feelings are quite strongly held, I think you might want to mask up and be a little more diplomatic if it means you can be less isolated during what is always a tricky time (having a new baby, being a stay at home mum) without the additional stress of a sexless marriage and attraction to someone else…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/21 08:46 AM
10

No, mental illness absolutely does not bring your RMV down. I mean, you can say that, but it's not true. I'm fully expecting downvotes but I don't care, this is important and saying otherwise is feelgood nonsense. If a man were presented with two identical versions of you, excepting that one has a mental or chronic physical illness, to choose between as a life partner and the mother of his child, he would choose the healthy one. She has a higher RMV by virtue of being healthier and facing fewer …
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/21 07:56 AM
3

Do. And if he's not a man you can trust not to waste a day of your time through being lazy, is he a man you want to marry?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 09:28 AM
3

I would say helping your boyfriend with paperwork (taking on responsibility for it, driving him, taking time off - not just checking it over or photocopying it) is 'wife privileges'. Does he deserve those?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/21 08:36 AM
7

Hmmm, fair enough!
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 11:49 PM
69

I'd add ongoing infidelity, personally. Someone habitually straying outside the relationship is demonstrating that they're not invested.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/21 09:18 PM
7

These last couple of generations are the first few in history where a man has had to decide "now is time to have a baby" rather than just a baby being the consequence of sex. It's no wonder so many of them never feel ready.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/21 06:46 AM
7

It's clearly not repeated enough if people keep saying it without that nuance.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/21 05:46 AM
20

When we talk about career in this context, it's important to separate 'career' (being able to support yourself in a safe and dignified workplace across your adult lifespan) from 'career' (the ladder of competitive professional jobs, which usually require significant sacrifices in your personal life to climb). Most men want a woman with the first (eg a teacher, nurse, etc) but not the second (a lawyer, financiere or doctor).
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/21 05:44 AM
34

What is RMW? Relationship market worth? The terms usually used are RMV or SMV, referring to relationship or sexual market VALUE. While you've got some good points here (all of them), I'd caution you about the second clause you've put in point six - while having a good wardrobe of lingerie is excellent, many high quality men will consider boudoir photography that's shared with anyone else (including a photographer) as a turn off in a potential long term partner. Most of them want a woman who is s…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/21 05:41 AM
0

What are you doing to help her see that it's possible for her to have another baby AND work on her career? It's possible with a supportive spouse who's willing to put in the effort and support to make it a viable option. Are you willing to provide or pay for childcare while she studies? Are you willing to pay for a degree? What about ensuring she has time for herself now? Does she enjoy being a mother of two? She might be open to a third or more child if you're willing to put in the work/support…
/r/RedPillParenting03/01/21 12:16 AM
1

You're welcome. For most women I know, professional haircuts are considered a non negotiable. The ones who DIY are usually a bit offbeat or maybe into self sufficiency.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/20 10:36 AM
1

Doesn't usually do much makeup or cosmetic maintenance. I'd say there's a bit of a beauty maintenance ladder - at the bottom is getting your hair cut professionally, then as you go up there are more and more regular beauty treatments - manicures, facials, waxing, botox, etc etc. Someone on the lower end might just get their hair cut at a chain salon every few months, or (like me, even further down the ladder) do it themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/20 07:21 AM
3

I think it's just an indication of someone who's maybe a bit lower maintenance beauty wise. Or just because there's a pandemic. I cut my own hair :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/20 05:50 AM
5

Which ones have you tried so far? Otherwise, we may all be suggesting things you've already read :)
/r/RedPillWives23/12/20 09:50 PM
7

It does. And so often gift giving and effort put into celebrations is something women see as an expression of love, and when their men don't... It's tricky.
/r/RedPillWives16/12/20 10:49 PM
10

Desires are fine, but if they turn into expectations or covert contracts (ie I spent a whole paycheck on gifts, I want a KitchenAid), then we'll be in trouble. It's also complicated if you're not sharing finances!
/r/RedPillWives16/12/20 10:34 PM
3

I'm glad you're having some introspective success. If you want a KitchenAid, and he isn't the gift giving type, get yourself a KitchenAid. You don't get to set up expectations for him based on what YOU would do.
/r/RedPillWives16/12/20 09:20 PM
4

For how long, and how strongly do you believe him?
/r/RedPillWives16/12/20 01:23 AM
2

You are just killing it with the advice lately, lady! All of this is great.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/20 09:20 PM
4

Has he stopped cheating on you? If not, you're rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
/r/RedPillWives15/12/20 09:09 PM
2

A wrist rest might be a good option.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/20 08:26 PM
4

I didn't originally post that comment but: I'd say affirmative action leads to more women and disabled people in the workforce that maybe leads to more balanced expectations of work life balance etc? Not sure.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/11/20 01:09 AM
9

Crazy work culture that leads to a giant amount of male suicide due to the pressure.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/11/20 09:18 PM
5

It's been a couple of weeks. If the passion is fading in the first few months (or maybe even years), that's not a good sign.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/20 09:05 PM
11

People do cruel things. 19 year olds especially. Only you know if this is something that he would do after years of maturity.
/r/RedPillWives21/11/20 02:22 AM
4

Why would you trust him if the mother of his child can't trust him?
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/20 08:09 AM
2

Hmm, that's an interesting thought. So how would you suggest OP outline her approach to her mother?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/20 08:48 PM
17

She loves you and wants the best for you. It might be helpful to reassure her on the points that concern her, which aren't necessarily the ones she brings up. Is she worried you'll be penniless if things go wrong? Tell her about your financial plans. Is she worried you wouldn't leave if he was abusing you? Reassure her that you would keep yourself safe. Is she worried you'll be unhappy? Talk to her about how you care for your emotions.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/20 08:34 PM
2

Right, but none of your examples (barring maybe 'people changing') is something that can't be resolved by two committed people with compatible views of marriage. It's fine if that's your personal approach to marriage, that it's not worth changing/working on resolvable issues, but that's clearly not how OP sees it. If you're committed to a traditional, lifelong marriage, with a courting period beforehand, then you're going to need to a) work harder to ensure you're compatible on the real deal bre…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/20 08:31 PM
6

Resentment kills a marriage... But a healthy marriage will be able to handle things and avoid resentment. If you're not able to manage and avoid resentment, you're not ready for marriage
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/20 07:53 PM
4

Messiness is a divorce worthy deal breaker? Dang.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/20 07:33 PM
7

Find out what your husband notices/cares about in the house, and relax on the rest. Mine notices clutter but doesn't care about dust. I let him know I was struggling and asked him to let me know his house cleaning priorities.
/r/RedPillWives09/11/20 08:13 PM
14

I'm sorry you're struggling. Try to focus on the amazing things your body is doing! And ideally, also try to improve your self image & self talk - not to scare you, but having a mother who thought and acted that way about her body lead me to an early eating disorder and lifelong struggle with such. If you can't improve your self image for your own sake, consider your baby girl.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/20 05:17 AM
4

You can't. All you can do is make sure your husband knows what your boundaries are.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/20 03:24 AM
0

What advice or feedback are you looking for? Get some therapy, work on yourself, sorry about your terrible life decisions?
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/20 08:14 PM
6

We're not all lying to you. Please try to believe me -- read my post history if you want to get more of an idea of whether I seem blue pilled or afraid to say something harsh. It is not normal to be so down on your appearance that you're considering suicide, especially not when you look like a perfectly average-to-pretty young lady. When even the folks at Vindicta are saying it, maybe you should consider whether or not your mind is being honest, or playing tricks on you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/20 03:23 AM
6

You're seriously deluded, and I mean that with kindness. If you're looking at yourself and considering suicide because of your looks, you need therapy and to get off the internet. It sounds like you might have body dysmorphia.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/20 10:11 PM
15

I said this last time you posted the same thread. You look fine - a bit of weight to lose, but definitely not a 2. I honestly think you need to get off Reddit and start getting into some activities you enjoy that aren't about your body - and dating could be one.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/20 08:26 PM
9

It's true though.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/20 12:07 AM
2

Cynthia L is very well off, not sure she'd be any use on this topic.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/20 12:05 AM
2

Oh man, no wonder. Are you able to get therapy? Depending on what country you're in, it might be covered given your situation, and it seems like it could help.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/20 10:38 AM
6

Others have addressed the other points, but what stood out to me was I've never had a job, I look nerdy and skinny, I'm socially awkward, have several mental disorders like aspergers, depression, pure ocd, and a physical one, I'm shy, insecure, scared of everything, passive, more emotional than many, slightly feminine. You don't sound happy with yourself, and you don't sound healthy. That's not to say that it's your fault (I know the job thing is particularly tough for young quiet men), but that…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/10/20 09:36 PM
7

Get a couple. I think you need to not worry about doing it perfectly, and start just doing a bit of makeup and dressing up, and see how it goes.
/r/RedPillWives20/10/20 07:49 PM
4

Do you wear dresses? A lot of men will see that as 'putting in effort'.
/r/RedPillWives20/10/20 07:25 PM
15

I'm surprised everyone is mentioning skincare. Yes, you should take care of your skin... But that's not the point of what your husband is asking you. He wants it to look like you've put in an effort to be sexy for him. Get some tinted lip balm, use eyeliner and mascara, and do your eyebrows (I like a powder). That will give the 'makeup' look that I imagine he's wanting.
/r/RedPillWives20/10/20 07:22 PM
7

It sounds like this is something you're trying to rationalise. Either you're actually the man posting this, or you're trying to argue with your own better judgement. Would you want this man fathering your child?
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/20 09:44 AM
6

Make sure you're not lying to yourself. From what you say about him, I doubt you have a compatible idea of the future...don't shrink yourself and your wants to fit in with his idea. Maybe he's a captain, but if he's not a captain of the sort of ship you want to be on for the rest of your life, then you need to get off before you get too far from shore...
/r/RedPillWives19/10/20 05:23 AM
10

You're allowed to have standards too. They might include 'being on track for marriage by 2 years in' or 'okay with having children before 33' or 'monogamous'. My list certainly would.
/r/RedPillWives18/10/20 08:44 PM
2

There's an existing discord you can join, search the recent posts for a link.
/r/RedPillWives17/10/20 07:02 AM
1

It sounds like you surrendered the reins to someone in the midst of a crisis - he already had a tax debt? I'd say that was setting him up to fail. He sounds incredibly depressed. What does he have in his life to bring him joy?
/r/RedPillWives14/10/20 06:58 AM
2

Also: you verbally appreciate him, but it sounds like you don't show it with actions. He is great with the kids... But you criticise (with your face) when he doesn't want to go on a hike with y'all. You can't do both things. Does he get a break from the kids and your mother? (Who, let's be honest... Did he want her to move in? Or did you 'convince' him to get your own way?)
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 07:14 PM
3

Listen to yourself. He tells you that he's feeling like he can't do anything to please you, and your response is to argue with his feelings. That's not how feelings, or relationships, work. You need to take a good look at your own behaviour and stop imposing your own views of how he SHOULD feel onto him. I can't overstate this. When you say it went downhill rapidly, what happened? Did you go into debt? Lose your house? Or did things just not happen perfectly according to how you'd do them? Face …
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 07:07 PM
2

Hire some home help to calm you both down somewhat. When he does something you appreciate, do you verbally appreciate him? Do you build him up for what he brings to the family? Does he know that you find him attractive? It sounds to me like you're running the whole show, and that doesn't make a man feel good.
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 09:59 AM
20

Sunk cost. Accept it and stop wasting time with this guy.
/r/RedPillWives11/10/20 04:52 AM
5

In my limited experience, as someone with a lot of queer friends, my impression is that many lesbians, at least, have a scarcity mentality about dating - so they're more likely to get into intense relationships quickly and less likely to leave. That could do it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/10/20 08:36 PM
13

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01506/full TLDR: yes
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/10/20 08:33 AM
2

That sounds lovely with your theme! If you're doing mini bottles, you could devise a signature cocktail and print up recipes for people to make and toast you at home.
/r/RedPillWives03/10/20 05:24 AM
11

Whether you agree or not, it's clearly something that bothers her if she's put it in the 'con' column.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/20 03:24 AM
10

It's a very weird year. You can do whatever works for you, your partner, and your budget, as long as you're taking care of the family who are flying in. What about a picnic reception, or a food truck in someone's backyard, or sending everyone home with a bottle of wine to be enjoyed over zoom?
/r/RedPillWives03/10/20 03:22 AM
3

Covid deaths were preventable, and are mostly men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/10/20 10:09 PM
-1

Great idea but please wait until after the next election, and vote blue this year.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/10/20 10:08 PM
4

Whether he says he's pro men's rights or not, his general incompetence makes it clear he doesn't care about anyone. The horrifying numbers of deaths from COVID-19 in the US are mostly men. The deaths of black folks in interactions with the cops are mostly men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/10/20 10:07 PM
29

Stop nagging him about his health and diet. He's an adult man.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/20 05:42 AM
6

Good Lord, if you're dating for marriage, get rid of the FWBs. Lots of high value men will nope right out of there if they realize.
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 05:40 AM
1

I mean.... There's a reason people say it. Up until the age of 40 or so, women seem to generally be attracted to men between one and three years older than them. That's not 'old' men, just 'older' men. Men are consistently most attracted to early 20s women. https://jezebel.com/mens-favorite-ages-are-20-21-22-and-23-a-data-dive-1731660984
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/20 05:39 AM
1

Haven't there been quite promising studies into ketogenic diets as a treatment for PCOS?
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/20 10:55 AM
3

Why not pick up a kit like one of these, to see if you like them? https://www.michaels.com/diy-custom-crochet-scarf-kit-by-make-market/10572976.html https://www.michaels.com/dimensions-embroidery-kit-whip-it/10509924.html https://www.michaels.com/dimensions-needle-felting-kit-fox/10510096.html I think the best way to learn a skill like this is with a small, simple project to teach you the basics :) I also think learning to mend and hem is very useful. Picking up a needle, some thread, and fixing…
/r/RedPillWives28/09/20 10:39 AM
6

She's deleted it, but not before posting lots of revealing stuff. You can find it on Google if it's important to you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/20 12:21 AM
1

Sounds good.
/r/RedPillWives27/09/20 12:00 AM
1

Partly that, but also partly it negates her role, power, and agency.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 11:56 PM
3

It also doesn't help that he's into TRP and MGTOW nonsense. He's being childish, she's being reactive, and there's a reasonable chance he wants out of the relationship while wanting to be able to say 'AWALT'.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 11:56 PM
3

Is it abuse if he doesn't realize? Idk, but I do see lots of people characterising crappy relationship behavior as 'abuse' and it does a significant disservice to everyone.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 11:53 PM
2

But that's her choice. So again, I think characterising it as abuse just makes it easier for folks to say 'leave him leave him' and for her to not change her behavior (which so far seems to be giving in to petty manipulation tactics).
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 11:46 PM
3

I think you're taking away from her agency and responsibility for her own choices by saying this. Yes, it's shitty behaviour, but it's something she could ignore if she wanted. In fact, I think the suggestion of going and saying 'he's not feeling well' would be fine - go, enjoy the wedding, and come home energised and happy while he sulked at home.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 11:40 PM
1

That's a good point, though she also still very much has the choice to go. It's not like he's threatening suicide or something.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 11:36 PM
6

Emotional manipulation, absolutely. But we need to be careful when characterising something as abuse, especially with so little information.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 08:22 PM
4

Until your 30s or maybe 40s, and significantly longer than your peers. Remember, too, that Sexual Market Value and Relationship Market Value are different, and most 50yo men don't want to be in a relationship with a 21yo.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/20 08:09 AM
1

Universe 25 was an interesting idea. But again, not the same as humans. Sociology is a very theoretical field, and while the ideas are interesting, they're just ideas unless actually studied in humans.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/20 09:34 PM
1

Ah yes, because prairie voles are just like people.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/20 09:22 PM
3

You could do '26, working on myself, nun mode' or similar :)
/r/RedPillWives25/09/20 06:17 AM
1

Calm down, before I have to put my green hat on and mute you.
/r/RedPillWives25/09/20 12:08 AM
1

If you're unable to consider a concept because of outliers, especially using yourself as a personal exception, that's not going to make this discussion useful. If you want to add an asterisk in your head every time someone says that, do it...but if you're wanting to debate this core concept, try /r/purplepilldebate as this is not the place.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:46 PM
1

If you don't believe there are any negative traits tied to gender, then you're going to have a problem with RPW in general.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:36 PM
3

Great point. AWALT is about nature/tendencies, but we can choose to be better.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:32 PM
3

If you can't accept that there are some tendencies that most women have (AWALT) but can choose to manage, then are you sure this is the place for you?
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:31 PM
3

'Why are we talking about it when TRP isn’t? Can’t we learn something from that difference? ' Maybe the difference is that we're better at self responsibility and don't let people complain all day and blame the opposite sex for our problems. But we've gotta keep our eyes on our own behavior.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:30 PM
3

It's not an insult if used correctly, and it's important for us to consider as women.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:20 PM
13

The core tenets are pretty accurate, in my opinion. However, I think you'd be better off reading them from a RPW source so that they're a) more tailored to the feminine perspective and how we can improve ourselves and b) not surrounded by anti woman rhetoric, which is a common occurrence when men are first reading about this stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/20 11:06 PM
14

Best way to fix that is to find other content to drown it out. The women's subreddits will help, along with maybe some self improvement resources (general) and lots of good fiction ;)
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/20 09:06 PM
1

I've just peeped your profile, you're honestly beautiful. Fantastic bone structure and proportions. Relax, slow down the weight loss, make sure you're fueling your roller skating sessions (great hobby!) and show yourself some love.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/20 08:57 PM
3

Even still. I dated a lot, and married an amazing man, while overweight. I think you might find that there's more to your situation than just your weight.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/20 08:55 PM
63

Stop reading the men's RP sources. There is truth in there, but also a lot of anger and hyperbole. Take care of your health, including your emotional health and your skin, and your SMV will be high for a long time.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/20 08:54 PM
3

Make sure to set your flair :)
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 08:48 PM
7

Welcome :)
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 08:47 PM
1

I mean, it can be damn lucrative, which is pretty high value. But only if you're willing to put in the work.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 08:47 PM
3

I don't know where you live (this might be different in Asia) but a size 10 is a perfectly healthy size for many women, and completely datable. It sounds like you need to slow down the weight loss and ease into a more maintainable mode, and work on your mindset. You might find that it's not your weight stopping you from being noticed.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/20 08:39 PM
3

Mm, I can understand that perspective. There do seem to be a fair few situations in her life in which she comes off as someone I wouldn't want to emulate. One or two, I could give her the benefit of the doubt, but it does seem to be a pattern.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 10:56 AM
6

No worries. It's an important distinction, but generally most men want a woman who can earn a living, but also put family first. Unfortunately, we can't really have it all :(
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 10:36 PM
4

It's not what's meant, when talking about 'career women'. I have a job, a good one, part of a career... But I'm able to put family first, to work part time if needed, because I'm not trying to climb a ladder or reach a very high or competitive level. Most men like that in a woman, no one's arguing. But that's not the same as a career which is the focus, where part time is unlikely to be an option, and where family may not be able to come first. A nurse who is working the longest shifts and wanti…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 10:16 PM
6

I don't think nursing is what most are meaning when they discuss career focused women. Especially if you can do it part time. Nursing is a fantastic, important profession, but it's not one with the same kind of aggressive ladder climbing as something like law or finance.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 08:59 PM
7

Sounds like you're more like text friends than in a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/20 09:11 PM
3

Join the Discord! It's a great way to get some social time with like-minded ladies, lots of whom have little kids, around your home work.
/r/RedPillWives22/09/20 09:04 PM
3

Sounds like a good decision.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/20 09:01 PM
3

Great points.
/r/RedPillWives21/09/20 07:22 AM
10

Or actually study a symptothermal charting/tracking method.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 08:59 PM
3

Sounds amazing!
/r/RedPillWives20/09/20 08:58 PM
1

And if they were suggesting using a valid Fertility Awareness Method or Natural Family Planning method, I'd agree with you. But the suggestion from this comment is incomplete and dangerous.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 08:57 PM
1

No cycle is so regular that it can't become irregular. You're right that there's only a short window of fertility, but you can't predict when that is, you can only guess and confirm when it actually happens. Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 08:56 PM
2

You can't usually consult without any experience. Perhaps you should have a session with a careers advisor?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 08:49 PM
2

Oof no, dangerous idea. They are listing the most effective times to have sex to conceive, but that doesn't mean the other times are not also potentially fertile.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 05:03 PM
20

I mean, I wouldn't marry someone going into debt for a degree while intending to be a SAHM. Especially if they already have another degree, and an interest in a business. Are you unemployable without another degree?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 09:55 AM
11

This is why the mods are trying to implement their new rule. We don't have nearly enough information here to imply that she should leave him.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 09:53 AM
1

You need to leave, sweetie. This man could have killed you because he can't control his anger - no matter what you did, that's the reality of it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 04:18 AM
14

Hey /u/redpillschool /u/hatblacksack /u/luckylittlestar /u/bsutansalt /u/prettybluemushroom /u/crazyhorseinvincible /u/epiclevelcheater - just in light of the new rule: it's been 9 hours, this poster has been smashed into a doorframe by her boyfriend, no endorsed contributors or mods have chimed in, are you saying that you have this situation under control and she's getting the help she needs?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 04:09 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 04:03 AM
2

<3 The post is up, I linked it above!
/r/RedPillWives20/09/20 03:34 AM
1

Sounds like someone didn't read the post.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 02:02 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/iw4c86/date_night_ideas_for_when_you_cantdont_want_to_go/ Here's my list of things we've tried! You'll need to adapt them, of course, as I know not everyone likes drinking and candles, but I think it's a good starting place. Dressing up and keeping the conversation light really helps.
/r/RedPillWives20/09/20 12:58 AM
3

I might start an at-home date night thread, because I know a lot of us are struggling with that one at the moment and I have some ideas that have worked for me that I think will help. I don't have children, so take this with a grain of salt, but many many new mums I know struggle with this. Not only has your body changed, but so has your relationship with it - especially if you're breastfeeding. It can be easy to see yourself as only a parent. But you're also a partner, and a woman, and a sexual…
/r/RedPillWives20/09/20 12:43 AM
6

I think we've all been there. Even if you have a fantastic marriage, it's going to be different to how it was. I'm incredibly lucky in my marriage, but still miss the early dating days sometimes - the butterflies as you were getting dressed up for a date, the getting to know each other, the first physical intimacies, etc. When that happens, I try to recapture that - go on a date with my husband, and dress up in something new or that he hasn't seen before, meet up separately at a location, do som…
/r/RedPillWives19/09/20 11:21 PM
14

Of course you're looking for an excuse to stay where you are. He's been a loving partner to you...except when he hasn't. It's okay to miss the good parts, and love him. But he attacked you, and you could have been seriously injured. Go stay with your friends, who seem to have your best interests at heart.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 10:03 PM
12

He is responsible for his own actions, whether you've been a perfect girlfriend or not. This is not a safe man.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 10:01 PM
12

You might have been an asshole too. But that doesn't mean that his behaviour was okay, or warranted. This is not a safe situation for you, and you need to leave him or risk being seriously injured next time he gets angry. He'll apologize and be on his best behaviour, but you know the truth now, how he acts when he is angry. This is domestic violence, and your friends know it, and you know it too. Please find somewhere safe to stay.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/20 10:00 PM
20

You also may be concussed. See a doctor.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:33 PM
17

Physical violence is on a spectrum. There is a little bit of leeway with the very end of that spectrum, IMO... Eg if he pushes you out of the way when trying to get away in the middle of a fight, that's very different (I can see myself doing that). But if he lets his anger get away with him and does non defensive violent things (slapping, poking, hair pulling, hitting you into a wall), he's not a safe man for you, or a child, or a dog.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:33 PM
6

/U/LuckyLittleStar /U/Crazyhorseinvincible this poster makes quality contributions, both posts and comments, please ensure this is recognised with stars. Several of her past posts have been star worthy.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:26 PM
1

It's okay if this makes you reconsider the relationship. It's been six months, and finding out that he's the sort of guy who has this level of ex drama (and potentially children) is a lot of baggage to deal with, especially if it turns out to be his kid. This doesn't make you a bad person.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:19 PM
2

Consider this in the context of his other actions and behaviour. It doesn't have to be a deal-breaker, it's okay to say 'I'm not comfortable with this sort of talk with you yet, please keep it PG-13'.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:17 PM
9

/u/LuckyLittleStar /u/crazyhorseinvincible ?
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:12 PM
20

It is healthy to be afraid of someone who has smashed you into a door frame. This is not a safe man for you to be with. Have you been to a doctor? You may be concussed. Get some therapy (yay you for starting!!!) and don't get into a relationship before your issues are more under control.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 08:06 PM
5

They are, though they have to follow the guidelines for male participation (linked in the rules). It may be time to reconsider the specifics of those rules.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/20 07:56 PM
7

Pearl knows she is welcome here any time :)
/r/RedPillWives19/09/20 07:49 AM
2

You'd be willing to bring a life into the world that you don't want to, to appease a boyfriend? Interesting. Not a great start to a child's life.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 02:20 AM
2

What about if he wants a baby? People change, and it sounds like he wants one deep down.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 09:15 PM
3

That's why I included it. You should literally have an answer to each of the situations I mentioned, for both of you (ie how you'd want him to act and how he'd want you to act). You don't sound ready for an adult relationship if these things aren't things you understand.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 09:06 PM
3

I can't explain. You have to think about it for yourself otherwise you won't truly understand. Try thinking about different situations that might come up in life, and how you'd want your partner to act and how they'd want you to act. he loses his job? one of you gets a serious illness? his friends don't like you? you get pregnant? he decides he wants a baby? one of your parents dies? your family money runs out? he gets a disability and can't work? you disagree on where to live? Think about all o…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:54 PM
2

Maybe it's not your boyfriend's style either.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:41 PM
6

Sweetie...it sounds like you expect to go from being cared for by your dad to being cared for by a husband. What do you bring to your relationship? Looking good and being sweet is not enough for a healthy adult relationship, and it sounds like you need to do some serious introspection about who you are, what you want and what you need to improve about yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:38 PM
2

Don't obsess about his profile picture. My husband has never put me in his profile picture in 10 years together. Why are you moving in with him so fast? Especially considering the other issues you're having so far in this relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:35 PM
14

Sigh. Shooting themselves in the foot.
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 08:32 PM
5

I've got my own subs to mod, no thanks!!
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:27 PM
8

I mean, I've literally been a mod here under a different name, and you know I run a sub. I get it. But given all these difficulties, it sounds like the creation of this rule is just putting more pressure on the mod team and making it harder for people to self police, and further undermining the faith people have in the mod team. Take the feedback that this isn't a good idea, and think about alternative ways to make it work. Use the automod feature more Add more ECs (for ongoing quality participa…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:24 PM
8

Pearl is mostly off reddit at the moment, and Lucky is not very active.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 08:10 AM
7

Me too.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 07:29 AM
10

That's an optimistic assumption.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 07:28 AM
3

What's the mod team's perspective on this one - doesn't look like anyone has said anything. Would we say she should stick this relationship out? Just clarifying regards the new rule.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 03:19 AM
10

And what ECs? There are very few, it seems that the process of awarding stars and status has mostly stopped.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 03:12 AM
14

I'd even say that RPW's focus on self improvement and not criticising the other party means that many young women hold onto the loser partners for longer, in hopes that they can girl-game him into fundamentally transforming himself.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 03:10 AM
17

Sometimes you don't need an extended conversation. Might I suggest adding more active ECs if you insist on making this rule? There aren't enough for this to be practical or helpful. /U/karazorelf would be a good addition.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/20 08:12 PM
13

Hard boundaries wouldn't be necessary if the existing rules were enforced. This is a lazy 'solution'.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/20 08:08 PM
37

Wow, interesting choice. So the 18yo in a two month relationship whose boyfriend has already cheated on her shouldn't leave him? What about the woman whose husband is choking her? Are we supposed to hope that one of the almighty mods or ECs sees this (or has time to reply) before she gets skittish and deletes?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/20 08:06 PM
-6

How does this help OP?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/20 08:00 PM
-5

How does this help OP?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/20 08:00 PM
3

You're welcome here as long as you stay on topic (not what you're doing so far) and don't baselessly criticise the sub or its policies.
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 07:56 PM
2

The OP's question is fine. Your response is not.
/r/RedPillWives16/09/20 09:47 PM
3

Rudely.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/20 08:39 AM
9

Your shape is still changing at ages 18-20, puberty doesn't stop as soon as you hit 18. The hips widening was probably entirely unrelated to weight loss. I think you're probably overthinking it, and would benefit from some self work on your self esteem and a focus on eating and exercising for health, not aesthetic goals.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/20 08:51 PM
1

At least in my country, the recommendation is that baby room shares with the parents for at least six, ideally 12 months to reduce the risk of SIDS.
/r/RedPillWives06/09/20 09:47 AM
5

Would you date a man who was overweight and wore trackpants everywhere? Would you date him if he took care of his body (ie healthy) and dressed like someone with self respect? ​ Now, bear in mind that based on your comments, it sounds like this was a very sudden interest. Be careful that he's not looking for casual sex only.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/20 09:30 PM
3

Fellow aussie here: I put notes in my neighbors' letterboxes to say hi :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/20 08:46 PM
1

Regardless of his opinions, he is young, famous, and has been married for a short amount of time...so I don't think there's much to qualify him as a role model for relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/20 10:23 AM
1

Yes. It is.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/20 09:24 AM
15

>I am happy for the promise ring but I have a little crumb of doubt that I am giving in rather than delaying the gratification of being engaged. Am i removing myself from the market when the goods haven't been paid for? Is it going to make him feel over confident and minimise the feeling of pursuit? Is it premature? ​ I think you're probably right to be worrying about these things. Either you're engaged or you're not engaged, a 'promise ring' doesn't really mean anything.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/20 07:55 AM
1

Ah yes, Pewdiepie, an excellent relationship role model.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/20 07:54 AM
25

As someone coming from a conservative religious background, you are bringing a lot of baggage into the notion of marriage that many women don't have. Marriage can be the most magical thing, a joining of two lives that can be much more than they would be separately. A good marriage will have both parties giving up some of their freedoms (the freedom to do whatever you want, accountable to no one) in hopes of a greater reward (a partner, a teammate, an unconditional love, a commitment to put each …
/r/RedPillWives31/08/20 10:10 PM
11

Lots of us have told you this, but girl, stop trying to date and get some damn therapy. You do not have a healthy mindset, and without improving that, your relationships are all going to fail.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/20 08:43 PM
7

Be safe, drive yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/20 11:10 AM
2

I'd say a combo. You need to focus on your sleep and hydration, not for beauty but for health.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/20 01:51 AM
11

He can be both things: a victim of a manipulative ex, but also a man who is making his own decisions and not acting as a good partner. Would I say call off the engagement? No. Would I say postpone the wedding until he has resolved his own feelings to the extent that he can see his ex and not change his actions and opinions so drastically? Also yes. Probably therapy, both individual and joint. OP, he needs to put you and your relationship first. That means being strong in his convictions and hono…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/20 10:32 PM
10

You know the answer.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/20 10:16 PM
2

If you're not ready to leave him right now, that's okay. This has happened quickly. But you need some space. Can you move in with family, or to a friend's spare bedroom? (Consult a lawyer first, and let them know this plan). Don't tell him about it, arrange it on the sly and enact it when he's not around. Get some space. Take some time. Take care of you, and let this all sink in. And get tested. You don't have to make a decision right away.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/20 09:17 PM
8

"Am I wrong for being upset? If I were to die in a car crash, I wouldn’t trust him to make the right choices for our children." That's the crux. You won't change him. (Personally, based on your post here, I wouldn't trust you either. So maybe you're both better off apart.)
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/20 04:39 AM
1

Fair enough. I'd suggest he find a CBT workbook to help him work through his issues, because it's unsustainable.
/r/RedPillWives02/08/20 08:48 AM
3

That sounds like more wealthy than OP is talking, but I could be wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/20 03:23 AM
2

Once a month is a great start. What happens if you don't cook separate food for him which has no veggies?
/r/RedPillWives02/08/20 03:23 AM
3

Haha okay, horseback riding and the ranch are pretty good indicators. I'm not sure if it's the same as OP's situation, we'll have to wait until she clarifies.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/20 11:14 PM
2

A couple of issues: Physical issues with digesting veggies are possible (most common with FODMAPS, oxalates are usually perfectly fine in the quantities people eat them, unless you have a kidney issue)...but this guy has no issues with it if he doesn't know about it. It's not a physical intolerance, it's a mental aversion. In terms of nutrient content: You're right about macronutrients: you can get a great macronutrient balance with just animal proteins. However, in terms of micronutrients, it's…
/r/RedPillWives01/08/20 11:11 PM
1

Back to your original question: I wouldn't lie, no. I would get the recipe for the zucchini chocolate cupcakes, and make them delectable, but also be honest - there is a bit of zucchini in there. If he wants to try one, especialyl knowing how much he enjoyed it last time, maybe he will be able to get over himself and try it.
/r/RedPillWives01/08/20 09:38 PM
7

I mean, it depends - how much are you telling a man you're just dating? Are you taking him to fancy family dinners? And how wealthy are we talking? She says she still has to work to live, even if she has a safety net, and that her family aren't living in mansions. Now yeah, even if they're only comfortably middle-class wealthy, that might intimidate a very working class man, especially if he doesn't have a future-oriented mindset and the ability to earn more than a menial wage.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/20 09:36 PM
16

I'm surprised that people are telling you just to date inside your socioeconomic stratum. That's not necessary. You sound similar to me. I married a working class guy and it really hasn't been an issue. He's confident enough, and I'm down to earth enough, that it isn't a problem. Happy to discuss privately.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/20 08:12 PM
4

Sound like husband material to you?
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/20 04:54 AM
6

Talk is very, very cheap. Listen to his actions. Does he value respectful, faithful relationships? Does he put his family (including his romantic partner) first? Or does he flirt with other girls while he's got a girlfriend of several years?
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/20 03:23 AM
2

He doesn't sound like he does push himself tbh. Has he gotten therapy? Eaten little bites of veggies?
/r/RedPillWives31/07/20 09:56 PM
9

Sounds like you're married to a mature adult.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/20 09:06 AM
6

Do you want your future children to eat vegetables?
/r/RedPillWives31/07/20 09:00 AM
2

Yeah, look, making indie games is very very unlikely to be a 'career' in any way - the most likely route to success is by using the skills learned along the way to move into regular development. I say that as someone who has been a part of releasing an indie game and worked in dev. If he wants to be a house husband who does indie dev on the side, that's fine...but you'd better be okay with him bringing in no money, and he'd better be okay with that too. Otherwise he will lose self-respect and yo…
/r/RedPillWives29/07/20 10:10 PM
8

The only way you're 'allowed' to criticise porn, according to the hivemind, is by talking about how damaging it is to boys. Definitely not about how it affects the girls interacting with those boys.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/20 10:06 PM
10

Yeah I would steer clear, unless you want to build a life with an illegal drug dealer. No moral judgement, just realism.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/20 08:34 AM
1

It's not gaming, is it? It is very difficult to know - there are lots of folks that think they want to be a SAHD but the reality is often different. Many men take a LOT of pride in their ability to earn for their family...would he be able to handle it with his ego? Would you still find him attractive if he was staying at home doing X Y Z?
/r/RedPillWives27/07/20 09:58 PM
2

What does HE want to do?
/r/RedPillWives27/07/20 08:28 PM
1

We spent time with a friend and her teenager yesterday and afterwards my husband was a bit like "oh my GOD, that was exhausting". Definitely not looking forward to that some day!
/r/RedPillWives25/07/20 11:50 PM
7

"No contact" isn't an agreement, it's something you do - you say "okay, I'm not contacting him and i'm not being open to contact from him". You make the decision, not him. Block, delete, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/20 11:00 PM
3

If you can't see a difference between if women held every single job and every single man was forced to stay home And men falling "significantly" behind in every category then I don't know what to tell you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 10:33 PM
4

So...not what you said at all. Nothing about men being forced to stay home. Nothing about women holding every job. How can you expect us to make progress towards a more egalitarian future if you can't accurately represent the facts?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 09:06 PM
2

You can't. Very few governments work that way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 08:32 PM
1

Over 1/3 don't care if women held every single job and every single man was forced to stay home. Where are you getting that figure? It sounds like bullshit. Is your opinion of men so low?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 08:31 PM
3

>Just wondering, what if a lot of men wanted that and did it? We'd create a social norm where you, as a man, could do nothing else. > You might be happy chilling at home with your beer garden and video games but for men who want a little more from life? you've eliminated that opportunity. Right, so how it was for women for decades. But we've gotten past that now, mostly. Do you think society would move so far in the other direction without people stopping it? I don't.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 09:37 AM
18

I'm sorry. I hope that you can find some peace after what has been an awful, awful time.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/20 09:02 AM
13

I think that there's really too much variability in why and how countries are responding to covid to say that it's gender related. In either direction. Unfortunately, people like Trump have dropped the ball so very hard that it's difficult for people to see that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/07/20 09:59 PM
4

You're self aware enough to know that it's not about what he gets you, but not enough to actually be mature and not use his gift giving as a proxy for his feelings towards you. You're also apparently materialistic as fuck. Try to become less selfish and materialistic, I promise your life will improve.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/20 12:58 AM
61

A girlfriend with no opinions or proactiveness is not a great companion for most men. There's a big difference between being a supportive, helpful (but not overbearing) partner and being a starfish who wouldn't pull the fire alarm if the apartment was on fire (an exaggeration, sure, but the point is the same). My husband wants a partner who is supportive, and defers to his judgement, but is also proactive and adds her own opinion to things, instead of just saying "yes daddy" and putting all the …
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/20 01:47 AM
11

I don't know if it's him 'blaming' her so much as going 'why wouldn't you mention that, you'd prefer dinner was burned than speaking up?'. Which, I think is a valid question.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/20 01:45 AM
3

Oh, fair enough. I was ignoring them because they sounded disingenuous, haha. Good point.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 10:19 PM
3

TRP and MGTOW are also fairly bad at identifying their own toxicity. It's almost like both masculinity and femininity can be awful and neither group is able to spot the flaws in their own ideology.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 10:04 PM
0

It is toxic when it leads to men isolating themselves and refusing help. The ideal of 'rugged independence' causes damage when men need help and won't access it, often leading to suicide. At a moderate level, it is a good trait that makes men self reliant, confident, and strong. At it's extreme, it isolates them and paints any need for assistance as weakness.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 10:01 PM
29

Men are supposed to be emotionally stoic, women are supposed to be emotionally open. This aspect of toxic femininity manifests in the verbal diarrhea of some women who expect their friends to have infinite listening time to support them. Also in the 'if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' attitude.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/07/20 09:45 PM
19

Male friends who are extra attentive (beyond what they would be for a guy friend) in hopes that eventually you'll see how great they are and date them. The 'beta' bit refers to how they show their perceived value - he'll help you move, be your shoulder to cry on, but possibly never actually ask you out.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/20 11:46 PM
1

Any chance of living solo for a few months - a year before moving in with him? I am not kidding when I say that it would be incredibly beneficial for your future. You need to practise having safe boundaries and being assertive, with someone that you are not trying to be "submissive" to (and with whom sexual power dynamics confuse things). You're not ready for that.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/20 10:41 PM
3

Therapy, therapy, therapy, and working on yourself and being able to have healthy relationships BEFORE getting into a romantic relationship. Moving in with housemates would be a great first step in being able to have healthy boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/20 10:28 PM
12

What would you say to a friend in this situation?
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/20 09:22 PM
11

Saving this. Damn.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/07/20 05:14 PM
1

Some identify as male, some as female, and some as neither. I'm not sure what your goal is with this whole thread, tbh.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/20 06:21 AM
4

You're talking about intersex people, a separate topic entirely.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/20 06:15 AM
3

Why do you care? It's from a long time ago. What would you think if a feminist was posting about an ad from the time that was being misogynist (and there are loads of them, don't worry)? It seems like a waste of time and energy to complain about sexism from fifty years ago.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/07/20 02:00 AM
2

That's very kind of you to say, thank you.
/r/RedPillWives09/07/20 01:55 AM
1

That's not true necessarily, but people don't look to find the links that have previously been posted.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/20 01:26 AM
–

You're absolutely right (hence the stickying of your post). Please report - I've missed a couple of egregious posts over the last few days, and they've barely been reported (if at all). I'll keep a closer eye on the incoming threads/comments, but please help when you can by reporting.
/r/RedPillWives08/07/20 09:25 PM
1

I'm horrified that I didn't catch this earlier, it had ONE report. You're right, definitely off topic.
/r/RedPillWives08/07/20 08:25 PM
3

No, not really. I'm not actively religious, so there's a big chunk of community-making that I'm not a part of. But I do my best to be proactive, to get involved and follow up and be vulnerable and open myself up to building relationships with people in my area. Sure, some of them think I'm the funny lady who offers people flowers and asks to pet their dogs, but some of them consider me a part of the community, and i like that. Today, someone left chocolate on my doorstep because I'd given her so…
/r/RedPillWives07/07/20 09:10 AM
1

No, but that's definitely a big part of it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/07/20 09:08 AM
1

Mine doesn't, but some do. But it works only if you trust him, and you are comfortable with yourself. Breaking down in tears over it indicates that you are maybe not a secure person, which is something you'll need to work on if you want to be in an adult relatioship.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/20 06:44 AM
3

A general note: most 24 year old men are not ready to settle down and parent, especially a child who is not theirs. I would be very, very cautious with pinning my hopes on this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/20 10:49 PM
3

I am, and I do. Humans were not meant to live in tiny families, we're built for bigger groups.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 10:34 PM
46

It's a derogatory term for women married to military men who use it as an excuse to be crappy partners/be entitled/cheat/etc. (and potentially are in it for the benefits). You don't have to be one, even if you end up with this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/20 03:58 AM
2

I hope they get her. Regardless of mental illness or substance abuse, someone like that needs to be somewhere safe (for her and for others). Hopefully your neighbor will realise what a dick she's been.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/07/20 10:36 PM
2

Christ, what an idiot that neighbor was. Did the police get involved?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/07/20 09:27 PM
–

I save nice hotel toiletries to reuse as guest toiletries!
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/20 09:25 PM
2

I mean, it is used by them, but literally means 'assigned male at birth', which covers anyone born with a penis. So transwomen are 'amab', an intersex person with a penis is 'amab', and regular men are 'amab'.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/07/20 09:14 PM
2

No, it's long been associated with the alt right.
/r/RedPillWives05/07/20 09:09 PM
4

Here is a couple of screenshots of one of the accounts she follows, pretty gross stuff. https://imgur.com/a/823UCy2
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/20 09:27 PM
2

I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you, and that people minimize it. It's fucked up. ​ I wonder if prostate play is something that might help you get that satisfying orgasm.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 09:22 PM
4

It's a nice idea, but the amount of nerves removed is unlikely to be fixed in many cases.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 09:21 PM
6

Is that not who we're talking about when we're talking about penile circumcision? AMAB just means "baby with a penis who is called a boy", ie OP.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 09:20 PM
1

I mustn't be explaining myself well, because my point is that regardless of intent, it happened as PART of the "feminist push to reform laws around sex crimes", because it would not have happened by itself. If the feminist push didn't happen, when would it have occurred? Those sorts of minor-sounding law changes are not the sort that happen quickly, because they don't inspire the same "woke" fervour that the rest of the changes do. I'm saying that you can't say it's just "adding 7 words to a def…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 08:52 PM
1

I don't think adding 7 words to a definition requires a lot of resources. It does when it has to get drafted, approved, through parliament, etc. Law changing is not a simple process, which is why it hadn't happened already, Andy why I think it's worth considering its circumstances and context when thinking about how it could be replicated elsewhere.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 05:39 AM
1

Right, but if it wasn't political, why did it happen at this particular time? Because rape law reform isn't flashy, especially if it's mainly helping men, and so it's not going to have the resources or backing to get passed. I'm saying that it seems like its position within a broader, well publicised, feminist agenda may have been what helped it get momentum.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 04:43 AM
1

Based on the amount of campaigning Schiappa and Philippe (the PM) were doing, particularly focused around International Women's Day, I think that saying it's not political is an inaccurate characterization. My impression is that they were making these changes possible by calling them feminist.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 04:04 AM
1

My point is that pro-male laws rarely get passed. This one did, and so far the only info i have on it is that it was in a larger, feminist-underpinned bill. So in the absence of anything more concrete, it seems like a valid strategy. Hence my suggestion for talking about it from the perspective of transwomen, for example.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 03:52 AM
1

What did the magistrates *do* though? I'm trying to work this out, i'm not pushing an agenda.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 03:42 AM
1

I'm not sure what you're arguing here. I'm saying that the push seems to have come from a couple of self-identified feminist ministers, which is where my point comes from.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 03:41 AM
1

Yes, I read that, but I'm more interested in who pushed for it, so we can see what worked to get that change made. Hard to use their advocacy as an example without more idea how/why that particular change got in there. My only takeaway so far, in terms of potential strategy for repeating this in other countries, is a) keep it feminist and b) keep it centrist, then slip that particular change in once some bipartisan momentum has been built up.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/20 02:12 AM
1

I would love any more information you have on how the whole thing came together. I'm having trouble researching. Any idea where that bit came from?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/07/20 11:45 PM
-1

You're right, I mis-wrote. What I meant was that the campaign was made on feminist grounds (from what I can see) - the govt writings about it were from a feminist perspective, the introducing member is a feminist/Minister for Equality between Men and Women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/07/20 11:27 PM
6

That's awesome. I wanted to know more about HOW this occurred. I found this article about it: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1878652920300298 but don't have access (maybe a law or medical student might). The French Law of August 3, 2018 on sexual and gender-based violence was made urgent by increasing criticism of legal rulings relating to sexual offenses. Looking at this post from the French govt, it looks like it was part of a big campaign by feminists to deal with a bu…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/07/20 10:15 PM
4

You can do that using imgur or similar. The rule is about doxing/protecting privacy.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/20 09:48 PM
9

It sounds like he wants to be a 'traditional' father who isn't responsible for childcare. That is not super unreasonable, imo, it's the way things have been for a long time - many fathers of previous generations were only the 'fun' parent and didn't do the work. Why not get a nanny, now that you have extra income, so that you have help and he can enjoy his kids without doing the hard work? ​ (I can already see the downvotes coming in, oh well. If the expectation was always that he would be a 'tr…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/20 10:43 PM
2

I'll just point out here that the graph of sex partners/divorce is not a great one imo. There are lots of unhappy marriages that people stay in because the same factor that leads them to have low n-counts (religion) strongly opposes divorce.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/20 07:50 AM
11

I wish "tradwife" wasn't so often associated with alt-right white supremacist nonsense. It gives the rest of us a bad name.
/r/RedPillWives01/07/20 03:17 AM
1

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/11/07/incontinence-after-childbirth_n_12846364.html is a good illustration of what happens with women's bodies after childbirth, and how it can be treated. Creams, serums and pills are just going to cause you pain and irritation, they're just irritating your mucus membranes.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/20 03:14 AM
1

It would be one thing if the media showed both good and bad dads, but it really does seem to be overwhelmingly the bad ones that get airtime. That doesn't bode well for the little boys learning to be fathers. Shouldn't there be positive paternal role models on tv?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 10:05 PM
0

Just to be clear, you're comparing Female Dating Strategy to the promotion of slavery?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 10:41 AM
-1

Hm I mean, that sucks but it's not hate speech. Same as /r/seduction.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 09:16 AM
1

What is it that makes it a hate sub? It just seems like dating strategy like it says.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 08:36 AM
7

They were banned for their anti-trans BEHAVIOUR, ie not dealing with hate speech. If moderators care more about being edgy than being allowed on reddit, that's their problem.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 05:54 AM
11

GenderCritical has been banned because they were brigading and encouraging hate speech and doxxing, I believe. So...yeah. Kind of their own fault.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 02:09 AM
1

They're NOT living together, which is a big part of the OP.
/r/RedPillWives30/06/20 02:07 AM
5

PPF is private.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/20 02:06 AM
9

This doesn't feel like the woke inquisition to me. I'm mod of a couple of red pill subs and i'm not concerned...because we do not allow hate speech, and we enforce the sitewide rules on such.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/06/20 10:38 PM
20

I don't see any miracles. The subs that have been banned really do seem to be the ones where the mods were deliberately not enforcing the rules & allowed unacceptable comments.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/06/20 10:37 PM
2

It sounds like it. You didn't answer all the questions - is there an expectation that he needs to support a sahw and child? Do you have clear understanding, between the two of you, what the next few years of life will look like? If your view is that he needs to be able to support a stay-at-home wife and family, especially in any degree of luxury, you may need to consider that his financial concerns are valid, and consider ways to allay them.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/20 10:03 PM
2

Characterising it as "a piece of paper" is disingenuous, and I'd expect better from you. If you cannot understand what it is women seek from marriage, perhaps you should not comment. If that was an attempt at provoking a detailed answer from OP, be clearer next time. ​ That said, it could be that that's the view of OP's boyfriend. She certainly should articulate it, in case he truly doesn't understand.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/20 10:01 PM
1

No, we do not do those personal attacks here.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/20 09:55 PM
2

Sounds like someone doesn't like that their lazy overgeneralisation isn't accepted.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/20 05:14 AM
2

No worries! Asos is shitty fast fashion, but damn does it have the exact item I'm looking for, most of the time. And in inclusive sizes, and lots of stuff that's not super gendered.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/06/20 09:45 AM
1

So many good short overalls at Asos. https://www.asos.com/au/men/dungarees-boiler-suits/cat/?cid=50009
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/06/20 06:33 AM
6

I am all about cohabitation before marriage, if it's in the interests of both parties. in this, while it could be a good idea, the problem is more that she has expressed a boundary and he's said he's okay with it but actually been trying to erode the boundary :(
/r/RedPillWives27/06/20 11:39 PM
9

Oh honey, what a difficult situation! It sounds like he's talking the talk (talking about marriage and babies), but not walking the walk (having a firm plan in place for actually doing it. ​ If he says he isn't ready for marriage and kids, believe him. Pushing him doesn't help, sure, but at 29, it's not unreasonable to expect that he is "ready" in most ways, if he's dating traditionally and has traditional ideals. ​ If finances were the issue, I might be more understanding - many men have a "num…
/r/RedPillWives27/06/20 11:01 PM
5

Agree on A, disagree on B. There's a reason it's out of favour to overdo competition in academia. It helps some kids but really discourages others.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/06/20 10:30 PM
12

That does sound like it would hurt, I'm sorry. I have heard a similar sentiment expressed by male friends. Their solutions have been to say 'fuck it' and wear what they want (including dresses) but I know that's hard.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/06/20 10:24 PM
3

That's an oversimplification.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/20 04:40 AM
3

Sorry, I should have specified - any hormonal attempts to effect male infertility have serious side effects.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/06/20 04:38 AM
3

I thought male contraceptive pills all had SEVERE side effects in studies. Something like RISUG or vasalgel is much more realistic imo.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/06/20 03:47 AM
1

That sounds like a good first step. I think you need to stop thinking that social workers/therapists are evil because your mum had a bad experience with some when she was depressed and considering suicide. If you look at it from the outside...were they acting out of concern? Was the mistreatment your mum suffered because of social workers/therapists, or because she was seriously depressed and needed assistance?
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/20 04:20 AM
4

Her husband "felt" that it would be "awkward" to not invite the man who RAPED his future WIFE to their wedding. Sounds like your advice would be more appropriate for him.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/20 09:10 AM
14

> I've made myself have sex even when I didn't want to ​ We often chat, here, about how we should have sex with our partners even if we're not really in the mood. In the case of someone recovering from sexual trauma and dealing with trust issues with their partner, I'd say no way, Jose, do not do that.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/20 09:09 AM
1

I can't find the other comment, but I'm afraid that it's still vital for you to resolve your issues if you want to have happy and healthy relationships. Would a religious counsellor help?
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/20 04:40 AM
26

He is fantastic, and I'm incredibly lucky. ​ Two "expectations" I had for a man I dated were 1. 6 foot or taller and 2. university educated. My husband is neither of those things. However, it turns out that my 'expectations'/requirements were not what I thought they were: I said 6 foot, but I meant "significantly taller than me". At 5'4", that's not hard to do. My husband is 5'11" and it is a perfect height for me! I've also heard of women realising that height isn't the issue, feeling like thei…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/20 04:30 AM
1

Sweetie, that sounds like something you need to talk about with a therapist. Otherwise it will inform your whole attitude.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/20 02:07 AM
4

FYI you're going to keep getting removed by the automoderator for a little while because your account is so new. Never fear, I will approve your posts manually when I see that!
/r/RedPillWives22/06/20 09:53 PM
6

Super cute! I also really like your lip color :)
/r/RedPillWives22/06/20 09:52 PM
3

I think probably the multiple experiences of abuse have made you angry at men, rather than the random comments. Do you get therapy?
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/20 09:05 PM
24

Where did this hatred come from? It seems unlikely you have felt that way forever.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/20 03:51 AM
1

I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope some day we well be past this barbaric process.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/06/20 11:11 PM
7

There may well be times in your future, if you marry this man, that you are unable to have sex for 8 or more months. (Injury/illness/trauma happens). He can cope. Men need to be desired by the women they're in relationships with, yes. But if he has to DIY while you talk dirty over Skype, so be it. He will be fine.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/20 06:14 AM
4

It doesn't sound like she's so much worried about the financial situation as that he's making comments that indicate a dissatisfaction with his own achievements without trying to make any changes. He can't have it both ways, he can't say he wants to be a traditional, providing husband but also refuse to put in the work.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/20 09:32 PM
1

I derma-roll and love it! It doesn't really hurt.
/r/RedPillWives20/06/20 08:21 AM
1

Sounds like we need more resources for men fleeing DV, got it. Thank you for the link.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/20 10:25 PM
1

Argh. I know that there are many, many male victims of DV, but when we're talking about higher-level stuff (eg murder), it is overwhelmingly female victims. DV is absolutely gendered. Does that mean that we should ignore male victims and female perpetrators? Of course not. But it's disingenuous to ignore the statistics.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/20 12:12 PM
9

Haha people are funny. I'm an Australian talking to an Australian, you'd think they'd realise that not all places are the same.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 11:49 AM
2

In terms of the risk profile for DV victimization: my impression from reading multiple articles on the topic is that no, it hasn't changed - women are still overrepresented in the higher-end DV cases (involving serious physical harm and death) and various sources report that the severity of individual DV instances has increased. I wouldn't be surprised if there was an increase in lower-level DV, particularly against men, but that's less likely to be reported.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/20 09:40 AM
15

In Australia, looks like it's gone up by about 10% across the board (11% for women, 9% for men). https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/domestic-violence-victims-seeking-help-rises-10-per-cent-after-covid-19-lockdown-20200501-p54oxt.html
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/20 09:37 AM
6

I'm not right-wing, but I am red pill(ish) and live in a regional area. The people you're talking about do exist, but most right-wingers in the country are idiots, unfortunately. The intelligent ones seem to move to the cities to study/work. Is that an option for you?
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 09:24 AM
25

Don't waste your time on people who don't want to spend time with you.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 08:52 AM
2

You're funny.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 08:52 AM
5

Also, is RB&B an air bnb?
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 07:56 AM
34

Are you sure he's your BF?
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 07:56 AM
11

Red pill and blue pill are, at their core, about relationships, not society, advocacy or ideology. (Purplepill is just people trying to find an in-between place). ​ MGTOW is men deciding they don't want relationships/involvement with women and giving up.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/06/20 05:58 AM
1

Is the White feather relevant these days? The US elected a serial draft dodger, didn't it?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/20 09:01 PM
1

Nicely handled!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/06/20 04:17 AM
7

Your friend sounds like a nightmare - "cut me out for months before". That isn't a mature adult friendship.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/20 10:40 PM
2

It sounds like you may need to review some information about the red flags for abusive/manipulative partners if this is something that keeps happening for you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/20 05:54 AM
3

Yes, that would be weird.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/20 09:29 PM
3

Why are you arguing with me?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/06/20 06:35 AM
3

I mean, I don't disagree, but there does seem to be a big cultural meme that uncut penises are less clean than cut ones.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/06/20 06:25 AM
3

Or religious leaders.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/06/20 03:25 AM
1

You didn't really answer my question :/
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/06/20 02:58 AM
3

Sounds like you two aren't in a relationship where you have compatible boundaries, then. If you write up your perspective in your own post (and please, use full words because it's hard for my old eyes to read your grammar), then maybe we can give you more advice.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/20 11:57 PM
4

Fair enough. I will caution you, just as someone who has seen a lot of friends 'play wife' without ever getting married, be careful that you're not giving him everything without him playing his role too.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/20 11:55 PM
3

That's horrifying. That said, I doubt that people are getting children circumcised BECAUSE of the use of the discarded body parts - isn't there a massive culture of a) religion b) cleanliness and c) aesthetics that drives this?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 11:51 PM
7

I mean, there are absolutely feminists who care about both issues (hi). People can do/think/feel more than one thing. What would you say the best way to be an 'intactivist' is for someone outside of the USA?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 11:50 PM
2

What do you think is their agenda?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 11:04 PM
3

Not petty, but insecure/focusing on your own baggage. That sounds like a completely normal situation, but you're reacting strongly because of your relationship with your ex.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/20 10:44 PM
1

I don't think you can re-post it here, but I'm sure you could if you wrote it from your perspective. Regardless: we can't tell you what's infidelity or not within YOUR relationship - only you and your partner can decide that. Boundaries are unique to a couple, even if most of us have similar ones. You need to decide what happened, what it means, and what you want to do about it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/20 10:42 PM
19

As someone who knows and loves an uncircumcised penis, and lives in a country where that is the norm, I find it completely baffling how many people say that it's just a little cut and it doesn't hurt you in the long run. With the exception of people struggling with phimosis, which is NO the norm, why on earth do Americans and many other countries consider this the norm? Is it just that if they admit that it's wrong, they'll have to admit the hurt that was done to them as infants?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 10:40 PM
3

I think there's space for both - insomuch as it's semantically possible. I am a traditional feminist (I'm "for" women's rights) as well as an MRA ("for" men's rights). Do I think women should be able to abort babies they're carrying? Yes. Do I think men should be able to "financially abort" a pregnancy before a certain point? Yes. I can, on one hand, think it's awful that women are routinely killed by their male partners in domestic violence circumstances, and simultaneously think it's awful tha…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 09:57 PM
5

I said this elsewhere. It's not just about 'cool' but about shrugging off the gross implications. MRAs need to be PROACTIVE, not REACTIVE, in sharing their concerns and wins - so not derailing a conversation about female rape victims to say "what about males who are raped", but actually bringing it up proactively as its own discussion. Otherwise it just looks like 'whataboutism' and leeching off others' concerns.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 09:52 PM
1

There are so many great MRM organisations! Unfortunately, no one talks about them - and the only contact most folks have with MRAs is people derailing discussions about issues women face (serious domestic violence, for example) to make them about men. MRAs need to be PROACTIVE, not just REACTIVE, in discussing men's issues.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/06/20 09:50 PM
12

It's definitely your choice, but it sounds like he's getting all the wife benefits without making you a wife. Does he look after you as well?
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/20 11:33 PM
14

Lordy. Anyone with a Dr before their name who can write in to the publishing journal, please do. (But do so coherently and not as part of a "boo feminist" narrative, otherwise you'll just come off as a hater.)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/06/20 03:48 AM
1

There are a whole lot of other reasons that the male pill is so difficult - but basically the deal is that sperm is sitting there, ready to go, and all it needs to do is get to an egg. An egg has many more chances to get interrupted. Now, RISUG, there would be a good option...hopefully some day.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/06/20 08:33 AM
11

In terms of not encouraging too many children outside the family structure, I personally feel that we should have incentives for using long-lasting contraception. Make IUDs, tubal ligations, and vasectomies free, and keep giving incentives for not having children.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/20 01:50 AM
10

I feel like UBI will help with the second one too. Women won't need to get their 'provision' from a man (especially while child-rearing, the time that we're most vulnerable) if the government is providing well.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/20 01:48 AM
3

I think this is a good idea, thank you for sharing it!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/20 01:45 AM
3

What are you doing to find a husband? And be worthy of marriage?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 11:32 PM
5

Or you could have 150 people because you have a big family and love them and wanted them to be there. Not everything is about social media/reputation/showing off :P
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 11:31 PM
1

Hmm, must have crossed wires :) Yeah, same here. It's good to be clear and straightforward about things.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 11:18 PM
1

Whoops, for some reason I thought that you were a fan of that one! Yes, making it about "getting a ring" would be manipulative, but I think there is a place for a book about getting from "quality girlfriend" to "life commitment" - many people get stuck at the first one because they get into "wife mode" too soon.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 10:02 PM
3

Oh boy, that was a listen! I heard a lot of familiar things in that - I'll have to listen to some of his other videos. Thanks for the link!
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/20 11:14 AM
1

/u/Kara__El is there one you recommend? I want to say Getting to I Do but could be wrong?
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/20 10:30 PM
7

We have similar worldview and want the same thing out of life. Except in your sex lives. He’s a real catch and definitely an alpha. Except in your sex lives. Sexual compatibility is important to relationships. Unless this is a temporary issue due to temporary stress, this is something you have to live with...or this may not be a relationship you want to live with.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/20 07:17 AM
31

That would bother me too. I will point out though, the sort of places where there's that much male 'attention' based solely on appearance are not the places you go to find husbands, and often the attention is going to be due to perceived sexual availability. You'd get a similar response as the modest friend or the shy friend. So perhaps don't worry too much about it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/20 01:20 AM
1

You'll need to define your own questions! Or you can use the ones I asked above. Or make yourself a Level 10 Life chart and identify some areas that you'd like to improve. I find Bullet Journals to be quite inspirational, eg on instagram.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 09:10 AM
2

Highly recommend trying some more targeted stuff too, to see if you can work out the things that you value/want to work towards/should work on.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 08:58 AM
3

Do you do stream-of-consciousness journalling, or more targeted journalling too? I find the most helpful journalling I do is when I stream-of-consciousness on a particular topic, like "what are my values" or "how do I want to be remembered at my funeral" or "what do I want my life to look like in 5 years" or things like that. I also quite like the Level 10 Life format, for identifying core areas and then goals in each area. (In fact, I might be overdue for doing one of those myself).
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 08:51 AM
2

Sounds difficult. Still, I'm sure you know that it's unhealthy. Do you journal? I'm a big proponent of journalling to help you figure out your thoughts/feelings. You can use the notes app on your phone, or Evernote, or a good old-fashioned notebook, but whatever method you choose, it really helps clarify things.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 08:45 AM
2

Can I give you a kick in the ass to get started? Do not hang out on /r/blackpillfeminism - it is not a true representation of reality, or how men behave. You will develop unhealthy emotions if you keep hanging out there.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 08:11 AM
4

Happy to take PMs too! I'm 30, married, struggle with depression/anxiety, but I make it work (with the help of my partner-in-crime).
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 08:05 AM
5

Waxing isn't so bad. Worth a try. Ensure to time it appropriately with your menstrual cycle, if possible - the middle of your cycle is the least painful, and around/before your period is the most. And the earlier in the day, the better.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/20 05:24 AM
2

I wonder how it compares in countries with mandatory paternity leave (even a small amount). I'd hazard a guess that everyone having to take at least a bit of paternity leave would reduce the stigma.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/06/20 05:21 AM
1

How good is Gumtree at the moment? I've picked up some great stuff too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/20 08:43 AM
1

As it says in the sidebar: WOMEN: post on /r/RedPillWives, you will be banned on sight here
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/20 08:27 AM
1

Not allowed.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/20 05:57 AM
4

Yeah, I know the reasoning. The problem is that they don't separate based on behaviour (monogamous sex vs multiple partner sex), which they do for straight people, they just put all gay men together in one bag of high STI risk regardless of actual behaviour. Again looking at the statistics, the highest rates of new infections are among MSM. MSM (men who have sex with men) are not a homogenous group - there are loads of long-term gay couples who are not having sex with anyone else.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 04:13 AM
2

Men in monogamous gay relationships, who have been tested for HIV, are perfectly fine candidates. It's no longer actually "more convenient".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 03:38 AM
2

Ah, thanks for explaining! It makes more sense now, ty.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 03:32 AM
3

Stiiiillll missing the point (and getting into personal attacks too). I give up.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 03:29 AM
1

I think that it's financially impossible to do that for every donation, which is why they do the risk analysis and lifestyle questionnaire. Otherwise there will be a lot more people dying of not being able to get blood at all.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 02:36 AM
3

You are missing the point, it's not an actually risky "lifestyle choice" to be a monogamous gay man. As opposed to those others, which all have clear epidemiologically substantiated risks.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 02:34 AM
8

The "lifestyle choice" of having monogamous gay sex with a HIV- partner is less risky than the "lifestyle choice" of having heaps of unprotected straight sex, but one is disqualified and one isn't. My understnading is that this is not based on epidemiological reasons, just assumptions that all gay men are the same/having risky sex. I have no problem with people being excluded for evidence-based reasons.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/06/20 11:45 PM
3

Sure, but they're making assumptions based on one's sexuality that aren't necessarily accurate. A gay man who has sex with only his husband is a much lower risk than a straight man who has sex with a bunch of different people, but the questionnaire doesn't distinguish between the two. This contributes to stigma.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/06/20 11:43 PM
22

On a cultural level, there's a massive stereotype of gay men as promiscuous. This leads to things like men who have sex with men not being allowed to donate blood (https://www.donateblood.com.au/lgbtqi-donors), regardless of if they're in a monogamous relationship. Outside the western world, there are still many places where gay sex (generally considered to be male only, no one really cares about lesbians that much) is illegal. Aside from that, my understanding is that most of the issues faced b…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/06/20 10:05 PM
1

Exactly what I was going to ask. How does this help us advocate for men's rights?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/06/20 09:59 PM
5

You're oversimplifying the scenario (lol Markets 101) and assuming nothing else ever changes (like say, increased public housing - the sort of thing a government that can pass UBI is likely to implement). Try to see how it could work instead of just assuming there's no chance.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/06/20 09:55 PM
14

You know what to do, you just have to remind yourself to do it. Re-read the book, read Surrendered Wife and Fascinating Womanhood too, and keep reminding yourself that you want to support and build up your husband, not tear him down.
/r/RedPillWives03/06/20 10:15 AM
1

Oh please, you see male politicians foaming at the mouth all the time.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/06/20 06:54 AM
1

What, and Trump threatening to shut down twitter is less emotional and more rational?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:47 PM
2

Do you think a child born from an artificial womb will have fewer emotional issues than one born from a surrogate?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:45 PM
-2

You're fighting with biology, that's a losing battle. Instead of arguing against, why not try arguing FOR something? Why not argue that single men should be able to adopt more easily? Or that surrogacy should be subsidised?
/r/MensRights02/06/20 08:43 PM
2

You don't have to live on a mountain to escape high cost of living cities. There are lots of small, cheap cities and towns where you can get by on very little.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:37 PM
2

The mainstream definitions aren't what are followed by the legal and research processes though. So many of the statistics are leaving out an entire segment of the victims.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:33 PM
3

Not everywhere and everyone is rioting. But photos of peaceful protest don't get the same number of clicks as photos of people looting - surprise.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:22 PM
2

That seems to happen a lot.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:21 PM
1

It's the same in Australia, finally. It took 18 years to get menstrual products categorized as 'essential'.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 08:17 PM
2

I'm excited. I hope that you all can keep the sub a good place to be, I've been enjoying the discussions I've been having here!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 07:01 AM
12

Middle school teaching is HARD. Do not put more pressure on yourself by trying to be feminine at work: it is not appropriate at your level. Once you've been the tough teacher for a few years, you can start to be more yourself, but I promise it won't work in your early career. Get your classroom management sorted first.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/20 06:59 AM
2

Sounds like MGTOW but okay.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 03:23 AM
9

You know what you have to do - therapy, therapy, therapy. You might also want to look into some books on emotional eating/binge eating, there are a lot of women who hold onto excess weight because of subconscious fear of sexual aggression.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/20 12:43 AM
5

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gbdzan/what_is_the_line_between_being_a_girlfriend_and/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/cj50y2/how_does_a_girlfriend_behave_differently_than_a/
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/20 12:40 AM
1

>the societal expectation that men are the breadwinners and women get to benefit by getting "stuff". I think there's an unfortunate mismatch that has occurred in the timing of these cultural shifts - women have been in the workforce for a while and can mostly buy their own stuff, but we still have this outdated expectation that men should be the breadwinners. In some circumstances, that's still the case - I have a friend who rarely asks for things for herself, but has also given up her work to s…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/20 12:13 AM
1

You could argue the same about the OP, then.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:59 PM
2

It's already headed that way, sigh. Yes, people love that game, because it's easier to fight with each other than with the bad guys at the top.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:55 PM
1

Sigh. The point is that they cost more - regardless of the marketing reasons. Isn't this a left-wing sub? Shouldn't we be agreeing that capitalistic nonsense like this is unreasonable?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:53 PM
21

Here's a hint for future: let people succeed or fail on their own merit. Provide support (eg helping him study, making sure he has healthy meals) but do not get so involved.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/20 09:43 PM
6

I'm trying to actively contribute to the sub because I feel like it is filling a real need - but I swear most of my comments come across as minimizing/defending. But that's because it's full of a) ragebait or b) totally not leftist views. We should be arguing against a system that makes essential products too expensive for everyone, rather than crying that women expect men to have cars.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:33 PM
2

I love the OP though, and the term 'house spouse' - good on them for doing things in a way that works for them!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:32 PM
39

You did his entire course? Girl, get some self-respect before you date next time, that's not okay. Close the window to reconciliation and stop thinking about him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/20 09:30 PM
3

I'm hoping eventually we'll have more egalitarian relationships on TV, with fewer bumbling sitcom dads. That stereotype needs to die.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:27 PM
1

>Suddenly everything she's ever wanted in life turns into "we need to this". But of course if it's something you want then it's still a "you situation". ​ Look, I'm sorry about YOUR relationship but that is more likely to show that you've picked a bad relationship partner than anything else.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:26 PM
1

I don't disagree with you on the insurance. In terms of the "men are expected to get a car or they won't be suitable for dates" thing, that seems like a cultural issue that should be addressed, but is not relevant to the "pink tax".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:25 PM
0

The pink tax is not fake news (or it wasn't - maybe they corporations have wised up to the fact that we noticed). https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/pink-tax-examples_l_5d24da77e4b0583e482850f0 shows a bunch of egregious examples of the literal exact same products with higher prices for the pink version.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:24 PM
3

Thank you for this! I don't disagree that there are lots of problems (that men are expected to pay for dates, in particular), but the "pink tax" is absolutely a discrete problem of capitalism. Tampons are a necessity and shouldn't be taxed how they are in many countries. Neither tampons nor unprocessed foods should be taxed highly.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:11 PM
4

I think that was the one that women overestimate how thin they have to be and men overestimate how muscly they have to be.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 09:08 PM
1

You do three people's laundry, walk a dog and maybe make breakfast sometimes - does it feel like you're contributing a significant amount to the household? Maybe that's why your MIL expects you to pull your weight. Why not ask to learn cooking from her?
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/20 06:40 AM
4

Artificial wombs exist, but I don't think they're anywhere near that. The male contribution to conception & birth is quite minute in comparison to what female bodies do to nourish/carry a baby. But who knows. Regardless, is either option healthy for society? Doubtful.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 06:35 AM
4

I believe that black women often find themselves lower on the SMV scale than they expect. My understanding is that that is due to (either fair or unfair) impressions of them being "angry" or "loud", both of which are considered unfeminine. Even if it's not relevant to you, it's unfortunately a stereotype that might play into people's opinions.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/20 04:13 AM
2

You're right.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/06/20 03:42 AM
1

Okay. I've allowed a good few hours of venting but I'm going to lock this thread now as it's just a rant rather than an advice seeking post. If you'd like to reframe it as a Seeking Advice post, please post according to the rules in the sidebar, taking particular note of points #2 and #3.
/r/RedPillWives31/05/20 08:39 PM
7

Or he's depressed.
/r/RedPillWives31/05/20 07:01 PM
4

God, purity culture has really done such a number on so many young Christian women's (and men's too, to a degree) self-images. This is a good comment and I hope it helps people!
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 06:43 AM
5

I'm sorry, that sounds maddening. I don't know where you live that it's appropriate for people to touch you or take pictures, oh my gosh! Longer/maxi a-line dresses that skim over your behind are probably going to be your best bet.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 06:42 AM
2

My impression of the anti-porn reddit brigade is that they'd prefer to call it an 'addiction' than a 'bad habit', because if they admit it's just a 'bad habit' then it's their own fault for not being able to quit.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 06:40 AM
1

Being open and enthusiastic is a matter of mindset! If you're thinking "oh god better have sex with him lest he turn into a pornaholic", you're not going to be happy about it. If you're thinking "I get to explore good feelings with my husband and have a great time", it will be much better! Have you read Intended For Pleasure? I have heard it recommended as a good book for Christians looking for better sex lives.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 06:35 AM
5

Hehe, thank you. I do like sitting and talking over a cup of tea ;) ​ It definitely is hard to quantify. Just on the basis of what you've said, and my knowledge of reddit's (and Christian-reddit's particular) anti-masturbation discourse, my impression is still that it is not something he needs to be accountable TO YOU about. Especially as he doesn't want to be. If he were seriously damaging your lives through an addiction, that would be one thing - but it sounds like he's a decent husband and fa…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/20 11:39 PM
2

>Is that sound advice re: RP theory or does it just make us feel good as women to be “communicated” with? ​ I would say it is not sound advice from a RP perspective where a man should be holding 'frame' and a woman should be supportive without being controlling. Asking him to be accountable in this way is likely to damage his frame and pride and your respect in him, and make you seem more controlling. Overall, I think it will damage your intimacy further.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/20 09:42 PM
2

Do you think it might be more likely that he considers it an addiction because of the spaces where he is spending time? (ie religious anti-masturbation groups?). PS: his 'withdrawal' symptoms wouldn't be so bad if he were having regular sex with his wife.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/20 09:41 PM
4

I mean that person has some downvotes and several of us have replied telling them that they're wrong... you can't really judge a whole group by one person's comments. (Otherwise all MRAs are Elliot Rodgers, all feminists want to kill all men, and you can't change my opinion).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 09:38 PM
6

>The majority of people killed by police are white. Gross figures, sure. Per population, no.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 09:37 PM
5

Damn, I use 'y'all' all the time! English lacks that second person plural form :(
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 09:36 PM
2

I'm sorry about your grandfather. It sounds like he had 'atypical symptoms' (which is what the links I saw talked about, rather than 'women's symptoms').
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 09:33 PM
2

But do you see my point? That the majority of literature is about the 'typical' symptoms that affect men, so it makes sense that they wouldn't write about 'men's heart attack symptoms' specifically? Especially because they ARE the larger proportion of heart attack victims?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 09:22 PM
2

>I'll be clear. Any addiction is absolutely your spouse's business and vice versa. ​ My concern with this advice (with which I don't disagree, fyi) is that she talks about it being an 'addiction', he talks about it being 'addiction', but I think it's much more likely to be a bad habit that they consider an "addiction" because they consider it sinful. In this case, I think it is more akin to my husband's junk food habit. Does he want to cut down? Sure, and he's working on it because he knows it's…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/20 09:20 PM
12

I wouldn't say I'm on the same journey as you - I'm ten years older and much more likely to be found out in the garden than getting a manicure. ​ That said, I'm working on being more intentional about my self-care, particularly in terms of beauty/skincare/hair/etc. At the moment, I'm focusing on: ​ Skincare - expanding my skincare routine & using more 'active' ingredients. (I wish I'd done this when I was younger!) Styling my hair every day Having a self-care afternoon each week where I do my we…
/r/RedPillWives30/05/20 09:16 PM
8

>he is not truly in recovery if he isnt 100% open and accountable and responsible for what hes done and his future actions. ​ I disagree, and consider this to be a blue-pill view. A man following TRP does not want to be 'accountable' to his wife like that, especially on a topic that is very personal and possibly shameful. He can be accountable to his male friends, or a reddit group, or a religious sponsor - but expecting him to say "oh hey wife, i broke down and masturbated yesterday, just can't…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/20 09:12 PM
5

That's not what I found when I googled it. The only things that mentioned women were two small sections about the 'atypical' symptoms women experience - which is strange, given that women are half the population, you'd assume their symptoms would be considered typical? My understanding is that most literature for a very long time was focusing on men's heart disease, and the symptoms that are most commonly discussed are those that men get. It makes sense that there would be some notes about the l…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 09:05 PM
1

FYI you need to reply to individual comments or the person you're replying to won't be notified :)
/r/RedPillWives30/05/20 07:39 PM
1

Hi /u/mulvatoast, could you please answer the seeking advice questions and I'll approve your post? Preliminarily: why is his porn and masturbation a problem? Is this a religious problem, a personal opinion of yours, a personal opinion of his? How is your sex life? My personal view is that by making him "accountable" to you, you're placing yourself in a 'maternal' role - instead of supporting and loving him how he is, you're saying "you are a problem and you need me to oversee your self-improveme…
/r/RedPillWives30/05/20 05:25 AM
3

Source please?
/r/RedPillWives30/05/20 03:00 AM
12

I'd be keen for a source on that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 01:59 AM
8

I agree. I can simultaneously be angry FOR Clementine Ford, and the world she lives in where even her reasonable stuff nets her graphic rape and death threats, and be angry AT her for the things like this that she says.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 07:21 AM
4

It's a bit harder when it's not an organisation like the police - no matter how much we say "you're not a feminist if you exclude sex workers and trans women" there's nothing stopping TERFs/SWERFs people from calling themselves that. But all the feminists I know DO criticise those people. (Fuck Clementine Ford though, christ).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 07:06 AM
3

I do understand your point. But we may have to agree to disagree on this.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 03:51 AM
2

Unfortunately, the ones who want to protect him are the ones in power, and it seems like no one who actually cares about accountability ever gets into power/stays there. What are the people inside doing to protest the situation? We should see them on the news, peacefully protesting... we should see them running for police office... we should see them intervening when unarmed black men are being murdered. But we don't.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 03:09 AM
4

Oh man, this is a big rant. I can't address all the things in it that I agree/disagree with - so I hope you'll excuse me if I address one thing. ​ >Like ACAB. This one is at the top of my mind at the moment. If you've got 1000 'good cops' and 10 'bad cops' like the one who killed George Floyd, and the 1000 protect him & let him get away with it... then you have 1010 bad cops. The guy who killed George Floyd has done it before and gotten away with it. When the police are protecting 'their own' at…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 02:46 AM
7

Read through the content in the wiki, and get hold of some of the suggested books :)
/r/RedPillWives28/05/20 11:33 PM
2

That one has been re-branded as the Empowered Wife, I believe.
/r/RedPillWives28/05/20 07:50 PM
4

Radishes are great with kids, they grow fast and easy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 09:59 AM
2

Read The Surrendered Wife and Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. Both are very valuable.
/r/RedPillWives28/05/20 06:55 AM
6

You called it off for a reasonable reason - monogamy/nonmonogamy is a dealbreaker for many (most) people. There need be no guilt - you told him what you wanted (marriage) and he told you that he couldn't provide that.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 06:26 AM
16

Don't do it, you don't need to be a supportive friend to him. You are under no obligation to be friends with an ex, and doing so is often bad for your emotional health.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 04:29 AM
14

Processed foods (frozen waffles, kraft dinner, pudding cups) are all junk food, but also expensive! Try: plain crackers with cheese and bell peppers; omelettes; fruit fruit fruit (whatever is in season and cheap is likely to be better in quality than out-of-season fruit).
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 04:28 AM
18

Don't marry someone you don't trust with money, or who doesn't contribute to the upkeep of the house. I think you have more discussions to have before you marry.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 02:16 AM
1

FYI any app that tells you your fertile window based on your average cycle is risky - your fertile window can change per cycle based on lots of different factors. Without temperature checking or other testing you can't confirm those dates are accurate. If you're interested in learning about this, search for the Fertility Awareness Method.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/20 08:42 PM
8

Aw, that is a super kind thing to say. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/20 09:52 AM
12

Big hugs, honey. Sounds like you've made some choices that have made you feel bad - we've all been there, one way or another. But you cannot change the past, only the future! Your life is very much NOT OVER because you had a phase that you're not proud of. ​ Why not try being in monk mode (or cocoon mode as it is sometimes called) for a while, and working on yourself without thinking of dating or sex? You could do some reading, some journalling, make some female friends, and maybe counselling if…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 11:47 PM
6

You don't know anything about us. I love myself more now than I did before, and my life has improved. My marriage has improved. I still consider myself a serious feminist. Rape culture is awful, but don't blame us. I've had more trouble from fake feminist lefty creeps than I have from RP guys. Try listening before talking over us.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 09:32 PM
5

You're welcome. Are you still living with your nparents? I promise things will get easier the more distance you get from them.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 05:39 AM
10

I looked at your history to see a picture of you. You are honestly super cute (even though it's a small photo from a few years ago), especially when you're rocking that red lipstick. I think perhaps you're getting caught up in the idea of plastic surgery to distract you from deeper emotional issues that you face. I know it's hard, and that you want to 'fix' your insides by 'fixing' your outsides - but I promise it won't help. Big hugs.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 05:27 AM
24

Honey, I'm not saying you shouldn't get plastic surgery. It sounds like the people around you are awful, so I understand not caring about their opinions. ​ But you shouldn't get plastic surgery while you're depressed and recovering from a breakup, and drinking too much. That's just a route to making yourself feel worse. Does your therapist think that you are in the right headspace to make this decision?
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 04:16 AM
1

Adults do make mistakes, but they also put systems in place to avoid doing them again. Given that the alternative appears to be several months without sex, you need to do better.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 03:53 AM
2

I mean, I think Scouts teaches a lot of these - particularly foraging/hunting/cooking/survival. I'd be more inclined to suggest that people get involved in that rather than trying to start a different one.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/05/20 03:39 AM
11

God, what a country. That's fucked.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/05/20 03:36 AM
0

Well, that makes it easier at least. Just jump his bones at a time when he's feeling relaxed and you're feeling sexual. You're overthinking it. This isn't a dead bedroom, it's a paused bedroom. ​ PS Set yourself some alarms on your phone to remind you to renew prescriptions. If you're going to be an adult and have sex without condoms, be an adult and be responsible for your own healthcare.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 03:27 AM
2

Is there a room you can make all your own? To hang out somewhere pleasant? ​ Is he responding at all?
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 03:26 AM
2

There were lots of good suggestions on your last post, have you tried any of them?
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/20 01:33 AM
4

This feels like low-effort ragebait.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/05/20 01:30 AM
2

You're in a polyam triad, aren't you? If he's getting sexual pleasure from her, he's less likely to want it from you than if he weren't getting it anywhere. You need to put some effort in if you want to fix this, which may include doing things outside of your comfort zone to help get the sparks back.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 10:51 PM
3

OP is 21. I give 21 year olds a bit of grace for this sort of thing.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 10:47 PM
2

Society can give people some pretty serious hang ups.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 09:03 PM
3

I'm sorry you're getting downvoted. There's a massive difference between a single nanny being a primary carer, and being at a daycare with multiple rotating carers.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 08:57 PM
2

Are you getting confused between 6 and 9? I didn't say anything was problematic about 6 - ageing is definitely a valid part of what attracts/repels people. Your comment was removed for being far too specific to YOUR tastes/sexual appetites rather than giving advice about being attractive to RP men in GENERAL. I've reinstated it now, but please bear that in mind for future.
/r/RedPillWives25/05/20 06:52 AM
34

Sounds like he doesn't want a stay-at-home mother as a wife. If that's important to you, beware. Also beware of the fact that he'll get mad enough about a disagreement about a hypothetical scenario to leave in a huff. ​ That said, it sounds like your niece had a particularly rough experience of her mother returning to work and leaving her in confusion. Not everyone has that experience.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 04:56 AM
2

Feel free to edit your post to be general advice, but no, we don't want your opinion of how to attract YOU (eg points 3, 9, 16 in particular).
/r/RedPillWives25/05/20 12:49 AM
5

Honey, pretty much no one is as perfect as they seem for short amounts of time or online. Your perception of him is unrealistic, and you need to understand that if you want to keep dating.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 12:45 AM
11

Some RP men are perfectly fine, but only if they actually want to be good husbands - most of them don't.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 12:44 AM
14

Happy wife, happy life. That saying is true, despite how it's been twisted to mean that men should bend over backwards to please their wives. Take care of your OWN happiness as much as you can - which will be difficult when you have a newborn. But keep on the self-care - taking time to have a cup of tea, giving baby to Dad so you can have a relaxed shower, etc - and you'll be creating a significantly better environment for the both of you and your little one.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 10:20 PM
1

Do you see my point though? You've had one issue and it's affected you greatly, and now you're generalising it to all the men on Reddit. That is sad, and not an accurate reflection of reality.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 09:47 PM
1

Just because something is a problem for some people doesn't mean that it is for everyone. You sound like the wife of an alcoholic, who now preaches about how bad alcohol is for everyone and anyone who drinks is an alcoholic.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 08:54 PM
1

I'm saying that the horny scumbags are NOT the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 08:24 PM
6

Maybe add it to your post :)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/05/20 10:22 AM
6

You've linked to a file on your computer, we can't access it. It's horrible how the mainstream discourse discounts male victims of violence, or judges them as weak. Even presidents can suffer it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/05/20 09:47 AM
6

There are lots of human dads out there who deserve the top spot! My dad carried us kids on his back like a tamarin for a good part of our early years. I know plenty of great dads. Unfortunately, the media focuses on the deadbeat/drunk/violent dads, or the clueless Homer Simpson dads, and perpetuates the myth that childrearing is women's work and men aren't capable of it. Sure, not all men want to be hands on dads, but the ones who do can be every bit as impressive as an emperor penguin waddling …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/05/20 09:46 AM
2

I mean, if you browse /r/all you're gonna get a lot of soft-core pornography.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 07:42 AM
1

It sounds like you've been burned by a guy who was a porn addict and a redditor. Don't take that to mean that everyone who uses porn, or Reddit, is an addict, that's just lazy. My husband and I both reddit, and occasionally watch porn, but neither of us is addicted to either. Does that mean that there aren't any of the guys you talk about? Of course not, those guys exist. But they aren't the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/20 07:42 AM
2

Have you ever been out for a meal with a friend or two? Or gotten coffee with someone from work? Dating is a bit like that. ​ FWIW I met my husband online, and we were able to bond over our interests in games and books and lots of other things, and he grew up in an even more fundy situation than yours. There are lots of women out there who would think you were a total catch, if they're not interested in having kids. If you are interested in having kids, get a sperm analysis to find out the situa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/05/20 01:25 AM
3

It doesn't have to mean going fast, just choosing someone who is closer to the right life stage. If you date a 25-year-old, and want to get married by the time you're 26, he'll be 30 before you're worrying about marriage. Whereas if you date a 21 year old, he'll be 26 too, and maybe not ready. If you think you're going to want to get married and have babies five years before a man of your age would, then date 5 years older (and make sure he's open to it, in principle at least).
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 11:41 PM
2

Sounds like you have more reading to do - how many 22 year old men do you think are dating for marriage? If that's what you want to do, you need to go older (unless you're in a conservative community/dating religious guys).
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 10:30 PM
2

Keep reading RPW and working on your vetting skills. Don't obsess about N-count - you can't change it now. How old are the men you're dating?
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 09:05 PM
55

You don't have to be a monster. You know how much stigma there is about BPD - you probably also know the reason why, and how many people with BPD are nightmares as patients and as partners. But it is a spectrum, and it isn't untreatable. People with BPD can be lovely, wonderful people who work hard to keep their potentially problematic personality traits in check - I know several who do so successfully. You can be a nurturing, feminine woman with BPD - it will just take a bit more work than it m…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 07:07 AM
2

>His admin restored due process for college students That's one good thing he's done (or says he's done). But he's also removed due process for, oh, everything else - eg hamstringing investigations into the administration itself, removing inspectors general, etc, etc.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/05/20 12:55 AM
6

But like, "moderate left-wingers to radical left-wingers" - voting Trump is definitely not a left-wing view in any way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 11:48 PM
11

Then I'd advocate focusing on that, as a priority. Look at the Self Care threads: this week, and some past threads 1, 2 , for some examples of what other ladies do. Personally, I like cutting fresh flowers, putting them in a vase, then drinking a cup of tea in a clean, tidy space with my flowers!
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 11:10 PM
9

No, I think of good things when I think of masculinity. But I've deliberately cultivated my life and media so it doesn't include toxic feminism :P
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 10:47 PM
5

Like all of the policies that get him and his friends massive contracts while removing anyone from power who might oppose them? Are you sure this is the right sub for you?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 10:24 PM
7

That's an inappropriate thing for her to have said. I would respond with something honest like "that's a hurtful thing for you to have said. We all have different styles and approaches and I am happy with myself."
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 10:22 PM
6

How is your self-care going? What are you doing to help yourself feel good, or at least content, on a daily basis? Can you get a tele-health appointment with a doctor to prescribe something appropriate for your pain? ​ It is an incredibly difficult time for lots of people, especially if you're pregnant, dealing with loss, and in pain. All you can do is look after yourself as much as you can.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 10:20 PM
17

Yes, definitely a double standard. I refuse to use them (not that I've ever heard testosterone poisoning used).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 10:17 PM
6

It's not protecting all women, either - just the ones that the people in power have decided they want to keep around (for sexual pleasure and the bearing of children). There are lots of women who do not benefit from this system.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 10:12 PM
2

These actions are the sort of thing you'd do as a mother, in my view. "Here sweetie, read this book because you're currently failing at manliness."
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 09:58 PM
3

I think I understand. But you see, the eye rolling is a visible indicator of disrespect - not quite as blatant as talking to him like a child, but a very clear sign to anyone with half a brain. Have you heard of the 4 Horsemen from John Gottman? It's clear that having him living with you is not working out for either of you - you're in a maternal role, he's being enabled, and there is no chance of a functional relationship like this. ​ If it were me? My goal would be to get to a respectful, genu…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 09:56 PM
5

There's a vast difference between 'using marijuana' and 'using it every day'. I wouldn't call someone a stoner for using cannabis occasionally/recreationally, just as I wouldn't call someone an alcoholic for doing the same with alcohol. Once it's every day and you're lying about it? Yeah, nah. ​ PS: former Woman In Tech here, with an academic history including entire courses on drug use/culture/policy. You don't need to convince me.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 09:46 PM
20

What about buying a cutebabydoll chemise to provide a bit of support to the girls, and skim over the other parts of your body that maybe don't feel normal at the moment? That might help. I have no idea about the other stuff, I'm sure some of the other ladies will have some useful feedback on that...I just know that some flattering lingerie makes almost everyone feel better about their bodies :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 06:52 AM
1

Right. What else do you do to show him love in his language?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 05:41 AM
9

Sounds like he's a stoner, and you two should break up. It's a reasonable boundary to have - stoners are often not particularly motivated or conscientious, and outside of that he's already shown that he lies. Is that someone that you want to be with?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 02:28 AM
1

You'll be perfectly fine - most of my friends who are now married with babies at 30 met their husbands at 24-25. Make sure you're on your best game as the wonderful person you are, so that you're ready to meet the One if that's what you want to do!
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 08:31 PM
1

Of course. He's kidding himself if he doesn't think he should be contributing financially. ​ I do think that, given that she says this has only happened over the last two years, there is room for change. He isn't abusive, just lazy. I wonder if she could treat him respectfully (so far, her words don't fill me with certainty that she talks to him like anything but a child), and if that would help. ​ And I wonder what would happen if she showed him true vulnerability and asked for his help, rather…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 08:30 PM
1

He;s not wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 08:24 PM
2

Also, I asked below but I'll ask again - this is important. What are your love languages? https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ ​ It's okay to tell your husband that you want to feel more intimacy, and ask him to take that quiz with you!
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 06:16 AM
4

This is just based on my opinion, but hopefully helps. Do you look into each other's eyes as you have sex? Do you kiss during? Do you touch each other's bodies with your hands - not just on your erogenous zones, but on your body - hands, arms, legs, backs? And also, do you tell him during sex that you love him, and find him sexy?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 06:13 AM
1

>I was speaking in overall demographics ​ Then it doesn't really make sense for OP to have posted this situation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 02:50 AM
2

It's hard to do! But report and hopefully the admins will step up.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 02:31 AM
2

I was excited when I found this sub because I think there are some VERY REAL and VERY SERIOUS issues facing men today. But if there's too much content like this, I'll have to unsubscribe.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 02:23 AM
1

I only brought it up because a) the previous comment was "her sentence was obscenely short relative to male perpetrators of the same crime" (patently untrue) and b) because I feel like you're right, bringing up isolated instances (especially those with extenuating circumstances) is intellectually dishonest. Unless we just want this sub turning into /r/pussypassdenied :/
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 02:18 AM
-2

You're not providing the advantage based on their ethnicity. You're providing an advantage based on the institutional disadvantages they, and their parents, and their grandparents, have suffered (based on their ethnicity in this case). Once those disadvantages have been rectified - absolutely! There will be no need for it. But we still have massive structural inequalities that are continuing to make it more difficult for some people to succeed.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:33 AM
-1

Thank you for engaging civilly on this topic! These days they absolutely have more access to public/non-profit funds than they used to. Personally, I think that's okay - until we have more women running real businesses (no, not selling essential oils to their friends), we SHOULD be trying to balance that out. Should it reach 50/50? I don't think so - I think there are reasons women don't own as many businesses that AREN'T to do with oppression. But do I think they should be more represented than…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:28 AM
1

A lot of people prefer to buy from Black-owned businesses because they know that Black communities have a lot of historical disadvantages that have made it harder for them to start businesses. Do you think that's wrong?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:26 AM
0

Like Brock Turner? Who, let's see, objectively raped an unconscious woman, was overage and of sound mind, and got...what, 3 months in jail?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:24 AM
3

This feels like a low-effort post. She was sentenced to 2.5 years in jail, she was 17 at the time, she was assessed as being borderline retarded, and she is now on the sex offenders registry for life, which means that she can't work at her job anymore. Yes, the language used is shitty, but is this really an example of a men's rights issue? ​ Edit: Oh, and I don't believe it's technically considered "rape" in the UK, unlike statutory rape in the USA. If the child is 13 or over, it's considered th…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:09 AM
6

How many cases of 17-year-old boys raping 13 year old girls do you hear getting multiple year custodial sentences?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:03 AM
4

There are a lot of these low-effort posts being shared :( eg the post about the pedo-rapist-woman...who was 17 (ie, a child) and went to jail for several years. No comment, no discussion, nothing, just some big red circles and vitriol.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 01:01 AM
2

I mean, the other posters could be right - maybe he is the one who's emasculated himself. But we've only gotten your side of the story, and I doubt you've been perfect. ​ Even if you had been perfect, and it was all up to him? You CANNOT do anything about that, not at all. You can't change him, you can only change yourself. So I would focus on that - on building him up, when you can, and giving him space to start doing things for himself again. I'm getting a lack-of-respect vibe from this post -…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 12:59 AM
1

It happens to many of us! Don't beat yourself up about it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 12:40 AM
2

It's unfortunate - because men not going to the GP is a symptom, not a cause! We tell them to be stoic and just take it like a man, and then act surprised when they do...and die of preventable diseases and suicide.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/05/20 12:25 AM
3

Yeah, it is. But it could also be promoting based on nationality, or service status, etc. Given that there is still such a disparity in ownership (eg Fewer women run top Australian companies than men named John — or Peter, or David ) I think it's fair enough. I used to buy my coffee from an organisation that gets young men and women off the streets (STREAT). It's an awesome social enterprise, that's particularly valuable to young men who are very overrepresented in the homelessness statistics. I…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/05/20 11:51 PM
2

It's true. Women can't change what they're attracted to, and by telling young men that they need to be more sensitive and gentle and different to how they are, we're setting them up for failure in a society that still privileges healthy masculinity (strength, bravery, providership, power).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/05/20 11:33 PM
2

"chosen to believe." Christ, how stupid do you have to be to think you should believe everything [gender] says - as if humanity isn't full of scumbags of all genders.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/05/20 11:29 PM
4

>Conservative America doesn't respect women who "step out of line" and do "men's work." ​ Well, yeah, they want to keep them in the kitchen and having infinite christian babies. Conservative America definitely doesn't want to challenge the status quo.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/05/20 11:26 PM
4

Sometimes I forget how lucky we are in Australia! There's still so much to do, but we've had these programs for a few years, thank you in big part to successful rallying by organisations like the Australian Men's Health Forum . Hopefully other countries will get on board more and more in the future, if people keep doing the advocacy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/05/20 11:25 PM
5

Women own about 40% of businesses in the USA, but employ only about 8% of the workforce - so women owned businesses are less common, and significantly smaller, than male owned businesses. I don't know if one can argue that it's unreasonable for them to highlight that, just as one highlights "Proudly Made in the USA" or "Employs Veterans" or whatever it is. There'd be no point highlighting those factors if they were the norm - like 'male-owned businesses' are.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/05/20 11:20 PM
6

You're not worth less. But some men won't like it, especially if the number gets higher. Don't obsess about it, but don't keep sleeping with men who you are not dating seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/20 11:05 PM
13

Practice being alone WITHOUT distractions. Set a timer and just sit. Let whatever feelings arise arise - don't try to change them, let them wash over you. See what it is that your subconscious says when you let it. Journal after you're done, try to record the feelings/thoughts that came up. Then you can see what you can do to help :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/20 08:31 PM
12

Listen to him vent, but don't problem solve. He doesn't need to be told how to attract women, or how he needs to hit the gym. He needs a supportive, loving ear as he processes his situation.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/20 08:24 PM
13

What are your love languages?
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/20 02:19 AM
1

My inbox is open if you want to vent.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/20 02:18 AM
4

It depends on the man. My husband would be unhappy with me getting boudoir, or any level of sensual, photos taken - he'd be concerned about the photographer and how much of me they got to see. He is a private man.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 10:00 PM
10

What does "presented in a sensual way" mean? Many traditional men will go "well, hang on, who did she get those photos taken for? Were there more risque ones too? How much did that photographer see? Is she really into attention?"
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 09:59 PM
1

Big hugs, Avalon. I didn't realize quite how difficult things in your marriage are.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 08:56 PM
2

I'd suggest going on strike. There's a reason workers do it. Back off and let him see what his life is like without you taking on all the responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 08:39 PM
16

It's not inevitable. I married at 22, to a man I met at 21, and have been happily married for eight years now. ​ What has worked: ​ Choosing well. This is the part that's so hard to do at your age, but it's not impossible. What are your parents like, and what do they think of him? Are you aware of the red flags for a man who won't be a good partner? Being on the same page about what 'marriage' means and looks like. We had compatible ideas of marriage - we talked about expectations, about what co…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 06:21 AM
3

:( that is horrifying.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 03:20 AM
3

That doesn't sound like an answer to me. ​ You're enabling him. He wouldn't be able to sit around enjoying TV and home-cooked meals if you didn't clean around him, cook for his picky tastes, pay the mortgage, clean his CPAP machine. Trying to get him to read RP stuff is unlikely to help imo. Maybe Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life would be unthreatening enough for him. ​ But honestly, you need to step back and stop making it easy for him to slob around all day. This is not a situation where yo…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 03:07 AM
1

Does he treat you lovingly? Is he still financially independent? Because he doesn't sound like it, right now. You seem to be trying very hard (based on this and your previous posts). How long will you keep trying for?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:59 AM
1

Yep. I was trying to answer the question - but OP's situation is much broader than this (see my comment below). [EDIT] D'oh, this is a comment in reply to tht comment :P
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:54 AM
3

Your words, actions, the people you hang out with, it's vague. ​ Honestly though, I'd say don't obsess about it, and do try to harbor a healthy view of sexuality that is in line with what most men want (ie a woman who is sexually intimate with them but not freely with other men).
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:42 AM
3

I don't think you are. The more I read of OP's comments and posts, the more worried I am. ​ /u/HarperL88, what does your husband bring to the marriage? Because right now, all I'm seeing is: - criticism when you try to improve yourself - criticism when you accidentally do something - being unwilling to work on his own health - not having a job but also not doing any work around the house - expecting you to do all chores and make all meals according to his picky tastes ​ I gotta ask, what is it th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:40 AM
3

I'm not saying it never happens, I'm saying that it is a lot less common than you'd think if your only sample was "men seeking sexual attention outside of marriages". PS: how many of those men have let themselves go and become pot-bellied middle managers with drinking habits?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:34 AM
5

There is no 'necessary'. It all depends on your strategy. Most men won't ask! But there are a lot of little ways someone can tell how sexually experienced you are. I would never advocate lying if asked, but some would.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:28 AM
12

It's not a scientific formula. Different people consider different things a part of your N-count. Don't obsess about the specifics, just keep in mind the general principle - ie, the more men you are intimate with (to whatever degree), the more a man will classify you in a certain way in his mind. Most men don't want to marry a woman who's been intimate with 100 men, regardless of whether that intimacy was intercourse, sexual touching, lewd dancing, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:13 AM
4

Ah, so your plan is to what, erase the past few years that you spent with a 70-year-old and he'll never know you did sex work? Are you planning on starting afresh in a new city with no friends?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:01 AM
5

>Unfortunately sometimes women after having kids or menopause no longer want to have sex, leaving the marriage one sided. The husband provides commitment, yet the wife can’t provide sex. ​ Are you hearing this from the men who seek out your services? Because uh, that's a fairly self-selected group. The ones who disprove this are the ones you'll never see.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 01:00 AM
10

>Personally, I think after my husband has provided for me and my kids, I think I would be okay with opening up the marriage. ​ That sounds like the sort of thing you'd say if you saw sex as transactional and not part of the emotional intimacy between a couple. ​ ​ >Edit: The only time I would not be okay with opening up the marriage would be if there are marital issues that is affecting our sex life or when we are still raising a family. ​ Ie, the main times where women would not want to/have th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/20 12:58 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gbdzan/what_is_the_line_between_being_a_girlfriend_and/
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 07:23 AM
10

It is certainly a challenge! A winged eye and beautifully done lips, along with a cute wavy updo, is all I can think of. Are earrings an option?
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 01:30 AM
4

It's not about the practice, it's more that often men have years of resentment from when you WERE snarky/mean, and when you back off and show that you won't snark at them, they start to feel okay with letting it out a bit. I think in Fascinating Womanhood they call it 'opening Pandora's box', and it takes a bit of time for them to feel like that resentment has been 'heard', if that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 01:19 AM
11

Say "ouch" and accept it. It will go away with time, and consistency in your actions.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/20 12:30 AM
2

Please do. I've been married for a good long while, and I know how difficult it can be to navigate the disagreements between a couple. It's nice to think that we can surrender and make everything okay - and with a lot of things, we can! At the same time, there are issue close to our heart, and I think this might be one of them, where surrendering would be unwise for your own soul, you know?
/r/RedPillWives16/05/20 09:54 PM
25

Big hugs! I don't have kids, but I have done a lot of research into this situation, and witnessed it with my friends. ​ You've gotta remember, historically, women were NOT alone during this time. Their husbands might be working - but they had neighbors, extended family, and usually older children to help out. You're doing it on your own! Realistically, it's an absolute slog (no matter how much you love it). Can you get some help from your mum or mother in law, or a friend, or a neighbor? Can you…
/r/RedPillWives16/05/20 09:31 PM
1

Submission in marriage is important, but it doesn't mean that there is no room to compromise. In this case, I think you need to compromise - because otherwise, it's just going to continue, with more dogs whose care will fall to you, and a husband who is addicted to the thrill as he doesn't have to deal with the consequences. He doesn't have to care for them, clean up after them, or train them - he has you and his ex-wife for that. Yes, she could just drop him off in your yard, but she's probably…
/r/RedPillWives16/05/20 09:16 PM
1

He's being cared for, but only under sufferance from someone who didn't choose to adopt him. He's still your responsibility. And you know that, but you're trying not to think about it because it's not what your husband wants. Doesn't mean it's not right.
/r/RedPillWives16/05/20 08:24 PM
1

Okay I'm absolutely going to message you to chat dogs :P
/r/RedPillWives16/05/20 06:10 AM
1

Why not put your foot down now, as you HAVE a dog that you're not caring for adequately? Ex wife isn't going to tolerate a min pin destroying her house while you keep getting more dogs. If you have a strategy (vacations, hobbies, sexual adventures) why not enact it NOW rather than continuing to get more pets to cause hassle in your lives? EDIT ESPECIALLY if you're trying to have kids. Do you really think you can keep up with the mess created by four dogs while you're wrangling a newborn? Do you …
/r/RedPillWives16/05/20 02:45 AM
4

But it's so much more fun to stay in the FRTZ than actually work to heal.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 08:58 PM
2

He's not 'yours' if your husband refuses to have him at home. His behaviour issues sound completely manageable - I have experience with dogs with behavioural issues. This is one where I wouldn't 'submit' to your husband - he is not being, overall in regards to pets, reasonable and showing good leadership. A good leader provides for his pack, and doesn't abandon one of them for foreseeable reasons (Cerby's behaviour sounds completely typical of a bored min pin - they are not a breed for people wh…
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 08:08 PM
1

You're sharing some great insights in this thread, I appreciate that! ​ On thrills: you're right, if he's addicted to new, shiny things, it's going to keep happening, and it's not just a problem in this context. How many dogs is too many? Is he able to support a lifestyle on the hedonic treadmill? Is your marriage going to struggle with someone looking for increasing thrills/the new thing? ​ On gift-giving: that's difficult, and it's often one that men resort to after divorce because they aren't…
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 08:00 PM
1

You'll never get the full picture from one person's side - people revise their histories in their own minds, even if they admit some faults. That's not to say that he's evil and abusive, it's just to say that even the people we love can unintentionally warp their memories of a situation and may not give the whole picture. ​ Does he listen to your opinion about things in general? This seems like a really big one, where you're feeling very strongly about a living, breathing animal (to whom you bot…
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 07:53 PM
1

Right, and what are you going to do differently?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 07:49 PM
2

Assets is fine - he's fixed his post now :)
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 07:49 PM
2

What have you tried in terms of dating?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 09:17 AM
1

His ex-wife constantly criticized him, never listened to him when he expressed his feelings, and always got her way. She always put herself and her wants before his, bullied him into doing things for her, and demeaned him, and the resulting toxicity damaged him. There's three sides to every story. His, hers, and the truth. It's very rare that a relationship breaks up wholely, or even mostly, because of one party only.
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 09:11 AM
1

That's probably why they keep having to rehome dogs :P
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 09:06 AM
2

The urine smell, chewed up trash and belongings, damaged furniture, or whatever other trouble the dogs can stir up, has been really, genuinely distressing for him in the past, and it's a continual trigger to his OCD. Then why in heck is he trying to get another dog? [EDIT] I've asked that in a couple of places on this thread and you haven't addressed it.
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 09:04 AM
9

This particular person has been posting about/talking about this one guy for ages now, and has some other issues that would be well addressed by therapy. Context is important.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 09:01 AM
7

the 12 year old is old enough to cook a full meal if you teach them Yes! And you're teaching them vital life skills. The others can help clean up.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 04:02 AM
7

Yes, unfortunately people can become black/white in their thinking - but most successful relationships navigate the shades of grey effectively. OP is very young, and this is something she (and her husband) will need to learn if she wants a successful marriage.
/r/RedPillWives15/05/20 12:16 AM
1

I wonder what they call you. Prude maybe?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 12:13 AM
2

Literally Hitler.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 12:12 AM
13

Sounds like you need to get some therapy then. Actual therapy.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 12:06 AM
1

That's almost half your cycle, that must be tough!
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 12:04 AM
1

But he's willing to take another big responsibility on (by adopting a new dog) - is he hoping that it will miraculously slot right into the family with no work?
/r/RedPillWives14/05/20 11:33 PM
9

It's good that Cerby is being well taken-care of by the other family, and that they're willing to share custody of the dog - good on ex-wife for taking on an injured dog with behavioural issues! It certainly doesn't sound like a good time to adopt a fourth dog (if you're having behavioural issues with one, and still have another out at the step-family). ​ What are your husband's reasons for wanting a fourth dog, but not a dog to whom you already have a responsibility and is connected to your hom…
/r/RedPillWives14/05/20 11:17 PM
4

12 to 14 days before a period is a long time to feel PMS! I wonder if that is ovulation instead of PMS symptoms. ​ I do similar - take it easy on myself, plan fewer chores/activities, eat a couple extra chocolate biscuits, and watch some trashy tv.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 10:58 PM
2

Did you watch the RPW videocast about alpha widowing? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EptUvgylx3g
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 10:20 PM
4

Yes, my friend's husband has very mild ASD, and their child has quite severe ASD.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 10:14 PM
4

I don't know if I would. ​ My close friend, whose firstborn has severe autism (which seems like it was inherited from her husband, who is very, VERY mildly autistic), has an incredibly difficult time. It's almost a full-time job navigating the child's multiple professional caregivers, the government's disability support system, the school system, and then parenting her child. She will not have another child - luckily, her second child appears to be neurotypical. If the first had been diagnosed b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 10:12 PM
2

Hehe you're welcome :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 08:49 PM
2

>Top quality young guys will easily decide that a mom with 2 kids, even if it's not her fault, is too much trouble This is the fundamental point, when considering OP's future ability to find a partner. It's not a moral judgment.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 02:39 AM
1

It's not about "deserving love". It's about whether or not a man wants to marry a woman who already has someone else's kids (regardless of the circumstances).
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 02:37 AM
2

They also don't want to date single mothers unless they want children. No moral judgement on the woman.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 02:35 AM
2

Yes. My husband didn't attend college, but he's significantly smarter than me. If I had had "college educated on there" as a proxy for "more intelligent than me" I would have missed out on him.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 02:29 AM
1

Still, the point is that the dealbreakers we think are our dealbreakers aren't the real ones :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 11:10 PM
1

It's not related to the situation, but it IS related to the questions a man will have when dating a single mother, and the things men often care about when evaluating a life partner.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 10:51 PM
1

We've gotta be honest about what really are dealbreakers, and what are just our ideas of what SHOULD be our dealbreakers. I wanted a man taller than me - but I have no idea if that was a real dealbreaker, or if I would have been perfectly happy with a man shorter than me but stronger than me. (I'm 5'4" so it never came up :P).
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 10:14 PM
1

People here get obsessed with fairness and equality...isn't the whole point of the red pill that some stuff IS unfair and things are NOT equal?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 10:12 PM
1

Fair. You may find that that's a lot more people than you think, however.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 10:11 PM
4

My suggestion would be to take off dating for the next 5 years or so, wait until the kids are both in school, and then look for a man in his early-mid 30s who is interested in a family but not fussed about the biological aspects. Right now, she'll need to focus on raising two children and keeping a roof over their head, and avoid further drama. (This is drama, even if it's tamer than some.)
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 10:06 PM
2

I've met many men like this in my younger hippie days. They're living the RP dream, if they really don't want something more firm and substantial. Good for him, if he enjoys it. I hope all the girls getting involved with him know what they're getting into.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 10:03 PM
1

It's not about fault, or choices, or decision-making. It's about what IS, and what ISN'T. If you are an avid rockclimber, sports addict, exercise fiend, you're probably going to prefer someone who can join you on your endeavours than someone who is physically profoundly disabled and can never come on a hike with you. That's not about fault, it's about fact. If you're only attracted to women shorter than you, and you meet someone who's great but is two inches taller than you and you just can't qu…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:56 PM
1

It's unfair for me to prefer a man with a full beard, because I'll never grow a full beard myself. Does that sound crazy to you?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:50 PM
1

Remember that these guys are all talking in the abstract though. If they were given a choice between 'you', as you are, and 'you, with two children', chances are they'd choose the version of 'you' who didn't have two children. It's a massive responsibility, and most men who want to date a 20 year old are not ready to become a father of 2.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:48 PM
1

Yes, you're right - I didn't mean to, but absolutely implied that "not blame" is the same as "be okay with dating". I was meaning to highlight the difference between OP's situation and that of someone else of her age with biological children - but inadvertently gave the impression that "it's okay, they're not MINE" is a magic wand that makes people okay with dating a single mom. Her RMV in this situation would be higher than if they were her biological children with another man, but lower than i…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:47 PM
5

Yes, my first comment has gotten a lot of upvotes, but it seems to have come across as me saying 'men won't care that you have 2 kids at 20 if you didn't birth them' as opposed to me saying 'men will care less that you have 2 kids at 20 because you didn't birth them, but they'll still care'. I was focusing on the comparison between her and other single moms, but not the single mom vs not-a-mom comparison which is much more relevant.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:44 PM
2

Arguing with them won't help their point - people will judge you for marrying someone who becomes an addict. Whether that's 'fair' or not is irrelevant - it is what it is.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:41 PM
6

Realistically though, if you had the choice between her, and a woman of the same age, appearance, personality, and financial circumstances, would you choose her? Or the woman without children?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 09:40 PM
2

Definitely add strength training into the mix! Upper body and core strength will both help.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/20 09:32 PM
2

It certainly is. My sister is about your size (she has a bigger ribcage though, so the numbers aren't as dramatic). No matter how thin she gets, they are always very big. She's planning on waiting until post-children though, because breastfeeding is important to her. In the meantime, she does a lot of swimming to work on her upper body musculature.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/20 09:31 PM
1

If you'd like to rephrase less crudely, I'm sure your point is sound, but we won't tolerate that sort of language. [EDIT] thank you.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/20 06:28 AM
3

I thought that too, but 32 is quite a small band size, isn't it?
/r/RedPillWives13/05/20 06:02 AM
6

That sounds like a reasonable situation, and like you've considered your options and preferences. But yes, leaving your business for a boyfriend would be unwise.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 06:00 AM
26

A good guy won't blame you for taking on someone else's children, if they're not in the picture. (If there's baggage, and they expect to be in the children's lives...that's different.) It's not the same thing as them being yours with another man. It will turn many off, though. ​ Are you really sure you want to do this? Taking on children (presumably abused children if CPS is involved) is a big, big deal. Being a single parent is a big deal. You don't have to do this just because your family is p…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 05:41 AM
17

I would caution you to be sure that you're okay with not having children if you choose to marry this guy. Fostering is not the same as adopting/having your own, and you wouldn't want him to 'indulge' you in that.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 05:29 AM
4

I know /u/Kara__El likes this book!
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 05:26 AM
2

You are a whole, well-rounded person! All you're doing, by embracing your femininity, is enhancing some parts of you & bringing them to the surface. ​ Have you watched Love Is Blind? I really enjoyed watching Lauren Speed on it (don't google if you don't want spoilers), she is a lovely black woman who doesn't try to be a 'square peg in a round hole'.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 12:26 AM
17

Half the women in my family have had them. It's a quality of life thing. I'm not sure how it would *affect breastfeeding, so best to research that if it's something important to you. I don't think any reasonable man would consider it 'cosmetic surgery', if you're worried about that.
/r/RedPillWives12/05/20 07:32 PM
1

It might not be his choice. Or, it might be. Some areas are relatively safe, and I know dutch south Africans who have moved back.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 07:29 PM
5

I would never want to move to South Africa. It's a very particular kind of place, and quite different to much of the rest of the world (to my understanding). Consider that aspect carefully.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 08:09 AM
1

I'm sorry. You just can't.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 08:07 AM
4

You can't require more - there's a quarantine. All you can do is not get too engaged/involved during this time.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 06:46 AM
5

You can't know. This is a perfect time for "players" to string along multiple girls with romantic words, and a perfect excuse for not doing anything more.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 06:25 AM
1

Could you ask the questions from #6 in your post?
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 06:24 AM
7

Aw, no worries at all. I find the intersection of femininity/race really interesting, and I can only imagine how difficult it must be given that pretty much all the people recommended as "role models" are white as white can be (and sometimes problematic - I know Felicia has called some out before for being quite racist). ​ Back on the main topic: at the same time, don't feel like you need to be some model of quiet femininity - you're you, and your vibrancy and sense of humor are key parts of tha…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 05:53 AM
5

Do you see a therapist? This sounds like a pattern of behaviour that speaks to a deeper insecurity, that might be best combated by a trained therapist. If not, you might want to look into some self-therapy with affirmations ("I don't need to prove my worth, I am worthy already", for example).
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 03:08 AM
29

This is slightly tangential, but you mentioned race and it is something I think about often, as a white woman who sees her face/culture reflected in all the popular "feminine bloggers". Do you follow some lovely feminine black women to see how they do "ladylike" while being authentic to themselves and their culture? Felicia (the feminine fancy) is gorgeous, and just posted something about being a "tomboy". And Kolbee (thehomemakinghousewife) is a lovely mama to two adorable kids, and she is supe…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 03:06 AM
1

I am fairly sure he's now an overweight accountant, so....maybe the second one.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 12:53 AM
2

I think I made an alarmed face at the cashier and that was all! We were about 14, he was harmless, just had creepy ideas. It was in the daytime, at a movie complex near us, and I had a mobile phone and wore big-ass Dr Marten's everywhere I went so I was safe! But yes, on reflection, creepy as!
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/20 10:09 PM
11

Feminists ARE angry about this, much more than manspreading. Events like the 'take back the night rallies' are about this. The feminists in my area arrange massive rallies every time a woman is killed for the crime of being out in public after dark. But the mainstream media knows you get more clicks from an article about 'silly feminists making up words' than about women getting angry about the everyday sexual harassment and violence they face. So that's what people think 'feminists' are. Phew, …
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/20 08:47 PM
6

My first date ever was with a boy who bought the movie tickets and 'joked' that I'd 'pay him back later' with a gross wink. I hated to have someone pay for me, in early dating, for that reason.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/20 08:39 PM
–

A couple of fine days to let me get the laundry done Husband-baked bread A mostly-healthy body A home I can enjoy and build on
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 08:43 PM
4

I'll give OP the same advice I gave someone on another thread the other day. Don't have children if they're going to have multiple sets of half-siblings. That's just creating messier and messier families, and isn't fair to any of them.
/r/RedPillWives10/05/20 08:40 PM
1

Have you made that clear to HIM? You haven't been clear about that in this thread at all.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:41 AM
6

The whole point of marriage is that the two of you leave your parents and form your own union, and decisions are made by the two of you, not your parents. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." If you're not ready for that, are you sure you're ready for marriage?
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:36 AM
4

I would not marry someone who considered their parents' opinions/feelings to be more valuable than mine.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:30 AM
8

How would you feel if your fiance said that his mother's opinion was more important than yours? Does that feel like what someone would say in a committed relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:29 AM
3

Work on that. Work on the stoicism, on saving money, and making your plans to get out.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:22 AM
21

You can try to negotiate a happy medium - maybe living in the same suburb or even street as his family, or even a separate house on the same lot - but don't kid yourself - if he really, really wants to live with his family forever, and you DON'T, that's going to be a fundamental incompatibility.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 02:21 AM
2

I'm curious where you saw "a wife or mother should feel guilty for feeling sick" or like it's their fault in this thread. In fact, I think everyone is saying "don't feel bad, don't judge yourself, be kind to yourself, you're sick and making a human". Where did you see that it's solely a woman's responsibility to rear children? OP says that "DH is home with us right now and he's taking over most things due to me being ill". Who mentioned a gratitude journal in this thread? " I feel like I must lo…
/r/RedPillWives10/05/20 02:20 AM
26

This may be a fundamental disagreement you can't get past. You're not petty to want to live in your own home instead of with his parents forever.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 01:08 AM
3

It's okay to have opinions even if you're young/inexperienced! Just make sure to also listen to the people around you :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 12:42 AM
7

Yeah, you need to stop obsessing about bags under your eyes or your cooking skills, and work on getting out of there/away from them ASAP. As in, number 1 priority. Save money from your grocery budget, don't spend money on anything else, just save it in a bank account they can't access and get the heck out of there.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/20 12:42 AM
1

Aw, salty. I'm interested to hear what advice, in this thread in particular, differs from what you think.
/r/RedPillWives10/05/20 12:40 AM
1

I see where you've come from to find our community. Are we what you expected?
/r/RedPillWives09/05/20 09:52 PM
1

👍
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:42 PM
3

LDRs as part of an existing relationship with a strong foundation are fine - I was in one for 18 months recently with my husband. ​ LDRs as a way to START a relationship are often disastrous. Very, very easy to show only your 'best self' through long-distance communication.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:36 PM
2

Definitely don't get into a relationship with him. Chat, if you like, but keep it PG-13.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:35 PM
1

If that works for you, awesome :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:32 PM
1

I don't love the idea of being "disallowed" to see anyone, that saddens me!
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:27 PM
6

Honey, I'm getting the sense that your eye circles are not your major problem, just the intro that led you to post about them. ​ Can you move out of home?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:25 PM
6

Yep. Super-pale neutral-cool skintone here - my dark circles are just what they are, it's thin skin. I use a hyaluronic acid product under my eyes to plump them with a bit more moisture, with a barrier cream over the top. But I've just learned to accept it!
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:24 PM
1

It's now deleted, we can't help if you don't want to be helped :( can I ask why you deleted?
/r/RedPillWives09/05/20 09:18 PM
1

That's a very good point.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 09:16 PM
11

It's a nice idea. Usually though, one or both parties are kidding themselves or being dishonest.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 10:39 AM
3

Good addition.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 10:38 AM
9

It's not so bad in your early 20s - you don't have to settle down right away, and for many people, marrying the person they think they want to marry in their early 20s is a terrible idea. BUT, if you want the option of having children, you do need to get serious at some point, lest you spend your fertile years with men who don't want to father your children.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 03:39 AM
5

I promise they aren't. Really. But something you're doing seems to be getting you involved with the wrong guys - it could be your age, or your social group, or where you're meeting them. Happy to troubleshoot if you like.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 01:11 AM
9

Dating is different - you're being honest about what you want, and hopefully he is too! Why do you want to give up on dating?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 11:53 PM
4

Good luck! We're here for you if you need to talk about your RP project - better that you talk to us than talk to him on this one.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 11:08 PM
37

Still, you do need to make sure you're dating with purpose. Don't get exclusive before you've determined that he's someone who could be a life partner/father your children.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 10:45 PM
4

This happens all the time! Please don't think about yourself that way. You're still valuable - a whole, well-rounded human with a rich life, virginity is just one aspect of you. ​ This thread came up a few hours ago and I think it would be valuable to you: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gfxdgs/just_a_tip_on_virginity/
/r/RedPillWives08/05/20 10:12 PM
2

It definitely will! Babies are hard, having a workaholic husband is hard, and being in lockdown and not being able to access your social support network is HARD. ​ It sounds like you need some strategies for when things aren't working for you, because the hard times are going to keep coming - at the moment your baby is mostly stuck in the one spot, but it's going to get harder when she's mobile or teething or whatever. I think enlisting some professional help would probably be really wise, becau…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 10:09 PM
39

"The Wall" is a concept, but it's not hard and fast and it doesn't mean that you'll never find a man to be interested in you. Stop thinking about it, honestly. ​ BUT: you want to have children? You do need to work on that, now. Women do have babies into their 40s...but they also struggle more the longer time goes on, and many women who start at 35 wish they'd started earlier. ​ What is your plan?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 10:04 PM
2

Sounds like you need to hire a nanny, even for one afternoon a week. And bring your baby into the bathroom with you in a moses basket or bouncer. ​ You can't control a man, and probably his passion for work is something that drew you to him in the first place. So it's not something you can overall change. ​ However, I can also understand how upsetting it would be when he said he would do something and then forgot. Ensure that you focus on your disappointment/sadness/missing him emotions, rather …
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 10:00 PM
57

He's not your friend. This is one of the reasons male/female relationships often don't work, because one or both of them have secret desires to be more than friends. Stop trying to have friendships with men. Sorry, but there's a reason people recommend against it.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 09:54 PM
11

Don't recommend it to him, not for a long time. Honestly, maybe never. Don't try to change HIM, just work on yourself. He may respond terribly, don't do it. Don't even talk about what you're doing/changing, just do it...quietly. ​ Asking him about his day is fine - but don't push if he's not talking. ​ It's okay to want comfort, and your husband is one of the right people to give it to you. I'm sorry about your mom, that must be really tough. Be vulnerable - tell him you're struggling, tell him …
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 09:53 PM
–

Could you please answer the Seeking Advice questions (from the sidebar)?
/r/RedPillWives08/05/20 09:40 PM
3

Orrrrr it supports them by giving them some little wins so that they can continue learning rather than give up in despair.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 05:42 AM
12

Okay, /u/fucknans , after reading the rest of your comments, here's my super basic how-to-learn-to-cook guide. It sounds like you're trying to run (gluten-free baking) before you can walk (cooking basic things). The three first steps will give you a good basis for branching out into the three recipes that I've linked in step 4. ​ Follow it exactly and I promise you will be making food you enjoy soon! Unless you can't eat onions. Then I've got no suggestions. ​ Learn to saute onions until they ge…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 02:11 AM
1

That's a very fair point about butter/salt, and I usually agree...but OP needs to learn to enjoy her food before she starts getting into more balanced seasoning!
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/20 01:54 AM
72

Start simple. Try basic meals. Learn to fry eggs and season them so they're tasty. Butter and salt makes everything better.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 08:52 PM
2

If money is so tight, and you're both so vehement about your opinions, it sounds like you need to discuss this further. And probably pray on it. And work out how much you want your family's and your community's opinion to matter in your relationship. ​ Are you really sure you want to get married? If so, I'd suggest focusing on your marriage, and the questions above, rather than worrying about the details of a wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 08:48 PM
2

Sounds good. Are you expecting to stay there when quarantine is over?
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 08:39 PM
6

I'm re-reading my comment and thinking 'Tea, that's not the whole picture and you know it.' So here's my unfiltered opinion: your husband married someone 18 years younger than him because he doesn't like being disagreed with, and wanted someone he can boss around/ignore. He is verbally critical, to a degree that many would call emotionally abusive. Does he often say things deliberately to hurt you? ​ As a result, he criticizes me for that with things like im antisocial or id be a bad mom. He wil…
/r/RedPillWives07/05/20 08:35 PM
1

https://galadarling.com/article/how-to-deal-with-the-end-of-a-relationship/ This article helped me when I last had a breakup (I am OLD). It still rings true to me!
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 08:30 AM
17

Yeah, stop thinking about him. He's clearly into her. Block, delete, take care of yourself!
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 08:27 AM
36

You're running the risk of moving into 'wife mode' and starting down a slippery slope that leads to you acting as his wife without ever getting engaged (because 'why change when it's working?'). Do not fall into that trap unknowingly! There was a good post this week on that very topic - be very aware of the risks if being married is something important to you.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 05:54 AM
3

There is space between "local church" and "expensive self indulgent overpriced venue". What about finding a middle ground that is still local & cozy, but isn't a church? ​ Have you and your partner done pre-marital questions/counselling? Attitudes towards religion are often something that causes a lot of discord, especially when you include family (are you expecting to have children/get them baptised? Are you going to keep trying to convince him to come to church with you? Are you going to be di…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 04:19 AM
15

This is a dangerous game! How long have you two been together? What sort of situation are you moving into (a share house? His bachelor pad?)
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 04:15 AM
2

Good for you. It's okay to have boundaries, and be sad. But YES, delete him. Block, delete his number, pretend he's dead. You really can't get over him until you stop seeing him around the internets.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 04:08 AM
8

Yeahhhhhhh, I wouldn't be okay with this. If it was to go to a fancy geology convention, and they were both amateur geologists, I'd say "hmm, maybe". But Alaska isn't really a special interest.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 04:06 AM
44

What is the purpose of the road trip? Why do they need to practice for it together if it's really just camping separately and driving separately?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 07:02 AM
2

/r/rpchristians is probably the most appropriate. Or it'd be fine to have a discussion about it, but it needs to be specific to a thread as opposed to assuming that it's of interest to all readers.
/r/RedPillWives06/05/20 05:28 AM
9

Thinking of you! Work out your exit plan first - where are you going, how will you get there, and what do you need to bring with you? Has he ever hit or kicked anything in front of you (not like a ball, like a wall or a person)?
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 03:23 AM
16

No, sweetie. I think this probably is not going to work. If he's so uncomfortable with your sexual history, and you're having this much trouble so early in the relationship, it's not a solid foundation for a LTR. Next time, do not move in with someone so early on, and try to keep your head on straight before you fall so far into a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:22 PM
2

I didn't really find the OP to be exuding anxiety - to me it more seemed like someone wanting reassurance that her man doesn't have to be 100% dom all the time for it to be a RP relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:18 PM
4

I think making it about sexual incompatibility when it is a very occasional situation is an extreme reaction. Unless it's something that disgusts her/makes her lose attraction to him (which it doesn't seem to be, unless it becomes a lot more common) then it's probably fine. We all do things sometimes that we're not that into, but because we love our partners.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:16 PM
6

I think if he's 99% dom and very occasionally wants to be submissive, that's probably not a problem. If the proportion changes, it would be worth discussing.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 09:14 PM
9

No, Empowered Wife is an expanded/revised version of her book First Kill All Marriage Counselors. I haven't read the revised edition, but my understanding is that it's not that different (and is mostly a rebranding). I know many libraries still have First Kill All Marriage Counselors, so it might be worth trying that rather than buying the book straight away.
/r/RedPillWives05/05/20 09:09 PM
1

I understand your perspective entirely.
/r/RedPillWives05/05/20 09:06 PM
11

You're right, but so is OP - at times, religious books can come from a religious perspective without necessarily other rationale, and that's not going to work for someone who is not religious.
/r/RedPillWives05/05/20 09:05 PM
6

Read the links in the sidebar/wiki :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 07:52 AM
3

We've all said that you won't be forever alone, but that this is NOT the right time to be looking ahead to dating. I'm going to butt out now, because I think I must have been too harsh, but please do listen to the kinder souls commenting above.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 04:51 AM
2

You don't want parenting advice, just advice on how to be more attractive to men. Sorry, my advice is stop trying to be attractive to men right now, try to focus on being a good mother (which may mean a few years without a romantic partner) otherwise your kids will grow up in a more unstable environment than they are already in.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 04:43 AM
2

If you're not looking to have more kids (which I think you probably shouldn't, in the interest of giving the ones you have a stable life and not adding even MORE men and children into their lives), it'll be fine, as you can wait a while. It is absolutely possible to find a good man who doesn't mind your situation. In the meantime: there are some really useful comments in this thread here about how to ensure your children have good male role models while keeping them safe.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 04:25 AM
5

There is hope, but as /u/girlwithabike said, you really need to have yourself, and your life, in order before you even CONSIDER dating again. I'd suggest therapy, for you and the kids, and a long time before you date again. Give the kids some as much stability as you can, make their lives less tumultuous, and don't add anything else in (a new man, new step-siblings). Focus on your kids.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 04:08 AM
4

It isn't a one-size fits all situation - that would be fine for some couples! But not for all. I know I'd go mad, and it seems like OP and bf are similar.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 04:01 AM
32

Do not move into this place! It is clearly not big enough for the two of you, if your box of skincare and makeup is too much for him. When the time is right (and it may not be right in June, don't rush), you can move into somewhere a bit bigger with space for both of you and your wishes.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/20 01:23 AM
1

Cooking for dates is a frugal dating method. My first date with my husband was a picnic, we've been happily married for eight years now. Part of our success has been due to our compatible attitudes towards money - if she wants to cook for dates and date frugally, and he doesn't, that's a sign of incompatibility. If she wants to be wined and dined and he wants to have low-cost dates, that's a sign of incompatibility. What works for one person isn't going to be the same for everyone.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/20 11:31 PM
20

Ensure that they have healthy male role models. This can be done through requesting them be in a male teacher's class at school, signing them up to male-led social activities (Scouts, Martial Arts and sports are all good options for this), ensuring to spend more time with male family members. ​ BUT: be incredibly careful about who you let in your children's lives, particularly in a caregiving role. There are countless, countless tales of women shacking up with men who end up abusing their childr…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/20 11:21 PM
2

What are you fighting about that is coming up so often, and in front of others? It seems like trying to change his style of arguing isn't going to work, so what about trying to reduce the amount of arguing?
/r/RedPillWives04/05/20 09:53 PM
5

Hmm, I suppose I disagree - to me, it's similar to saying "she's a homemaker with five children living in the Midwest" - relevant information to tell me if I'd be interested. But I see your point, and will bear it in mind!
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/20 12:40 AM
2

I think you've missed the point - OP was sharing Sarah's channel as something good she wanted to share with other people here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 08:34 AM
7

People here are constantly recommending Mrs Midwest, Cynthia L, etc - is it a problem if you don't mention their religion? Because it's honestly incredibly hard to find trad-ish ladies to follow who are not religious.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 08:33 AM
1

Oh, never mind then! I was assuming it was more different than that. (For what it's worth, I oppose trophy hunting but have absolutely no problem with hunting food. To me, one is unnecessary cruelty, the other is a kinder alternative to industrialised meat production). I agree with the rest of your comment though - she's not going to change him, and it would be silly to try, just take him for what he is and appreciate the effort he goes to to shelter her!
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 01:18 AM
9

NOT Victoria's Secret.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 10:24 PM
4

>That's more than any hunter I know would do. I think there might be a cultural difference here - OP is in the UK and fox hunting isn't for food, which is a bit of a difference to the States, right?
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 10:22 PM
11

>Unfortunately, she’s very hard to watch for me personally, because of her antivax, anti-LGBTQIA positions. I can stand her in very small doses. ​ I feel like that about a lot of these public trad-wifey figures. Frustrating, but what can you do?
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 09:56 PM
11

And don't use the pregnancy, which may or may not be genuine, as a reason to have more unprotected sex.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 06:32 AM
1

Fair enough. Seven months in is early enough that you're still vetting. It sounds like you two are not suited.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 02:15 AM
1

He's a long time TRP contributor/founder, I'm not going to discount his advice just because it doesn't match my own. I do want to hear what he has to say.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/20 01:29 AM
2

Your best approach is to tap into this by approaching him with kindness, vulnerability, and trust. So your contention is that women should be kind and vulnerable and trust, and hope that they've vetted thoroughly enough that he won't leave her broke and with illegitimate children? Especially when factoring in that women's best chance for finding a HVM to father their children is dating while young, this seems like a recipe for disaster unless you're already in a society with heavy (social) penal…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 11:56 PM
1

Ain't that the truth.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 11:01 PM
2

You don't have to want to "screw your partner over with a divorce" to want to be protected against someone else screwing you over in a divorce. This is why people consider TRP to be anti-woman, when a TRP founder comes into a women's space and can't POSSIBLY acknowledge that there are valid reasons why women might not want to give up their careers and physical health (ie through pregnancy and childrearing) for a man with no real assurances he won't leave her destitute.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:48 PM
3

I believe the first time my husband and I talked about marriage in the non-abstract was when we were talking about houses. I recall it going something like this. "I mean, we could buy one", he said. "Yeah, for sure. I don't want to buy a house with someone I'm not married to though." I replied. "Sounds reasonable." Highly romantic people, we are :P but at the same time, marriage IS about practicalities in many ways.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:43 PM
2

You're in a complex situation, being polyam IIRC. A lot of the things discussed here won't necessarily apply to you, and you need to be careful not to take that to mean that everything doesn't. Even if some things don't apply (eg "being married means not sleeping with anyone else"), others do (eg "do not have children with someone with whom you have no legal arrangement").
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:41 PM
1

The sub doesn't have opinions, it's a webpage :P many would, but many wouldn't agree with that point. I lived with my husband before engagement, and we shared those things! But there were also things we didn't share - finances, possessions, pets, property.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:39 PM
4

I think there's some middle ground to be found - not everyone wants to get engaged to someone they haven't lived with. ​ I lived with my husband early on in our relationship - but I wasn't on the lease, and we didn't own anything together, we didn't get pets, etc. Our home was that of two individuals collaborating, but not being dependent on, each other - so if we needed to separate, I'd go out and find an apartment, he'd have found a roommate, he'd have to buy a new sofa and I'd need a new frid…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:37 PM
4

Depends where you're living, of course - in my country, long-term cohabitating partners DO have some of those legal protections.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:33 PM
2

I do understand your point, however crudely stated :P ​ I didn't say it was not going to be an honest opinion! If my boyfriend wanted to move cities for his career, I would tell him if I thought it was a bad idea! But, and this is the key, I would be careful not to encourage him to stay for my sake: our relationship would not be at that point yet. A fiancee or wife has the status to make those decisions with you as a partner -- a girlfriend doesn't, really, and it implies more commitment than I …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 10:32 PM
102

The lines are quite personal, especially if you're talking about live-in boyfriends/girlfriends. It's very blurry if you're living together. ​ For me, I wouldn't buy a house, share significant finances, or have children with someone to whom I am not married. I probably also wouldn't provide too much input on major life decisions - eg if a boyfriend wanted to move cities or change jobs or have a medical procedure, my input would be much more general and impersonal than it would be with someone to…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 09:08 AM
29

The problem with this is that a lot of what you've mentioned as 'wife' behaviour would also be the behaviour of a live-in girlfriend. Once people are cohabitating, things like laundry and groceries and cleaning and interior design become both of your responsibilities.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 09:01 AM
3

What are you doing to spend time together from a distance? ​ Were you sleeping with him before the lockdown?
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 05:24 AM
2

Sometimes I just want to ask theoretical/general questions. I don’t want to the answers to be based on my specific situation Nah, sorry, you can't say that and also start your post with very specific questions about "my boyfriend' and your own (heavily edited) situation. Also, no: I got so much hate in my stripping post Please. I read that post, and almost all of the comments that were moderated away. People were respectful and honest and genuine, and you were calling them out for 'shaming' you …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 05:15 AM
1

No worries! It's super interesting. Reading her books makes me cry sometimes - the anecdotes of little girls and how their mothers shape their feelings towards food and eating are intense.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 02:24 AM
6

I mean, you probably get 'hate' because you do get really snarky and rude really quickly, when people have the temerity to point out missing relevant context :P Did you get much 'hate' on your post about stripping?
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 02:21 AM
1

So that makes me think that he's worried about taking your hospitality given that he's already paying you for your time - like it might be double dipping. I wonder if that's a concern.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 02:21 AM
2

This is all off-topic to your concern in the thread of course. But I certainly do find it interesting - I'd be interested to hear more how you resolve that sort of situation. It sounds like stepping back, getting feminine, and allowing him to spoil you (and feel like an alpha male who can provide for his girlfriend) works well in this dynamic. I wonder how well it would translate to others.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 01:55 AM
1

I am so aware of tiny people (I don't have any, but we're working on it) and attitudes towards food. Have you read any of Geneen Roth's books? She talks about it a lot, about how almost all of us have inherited our disordered eating from our mothers - either because they restricted, or comfort ate, or both. It's intense stuff. Hopefully by being conscious, we can be better at it :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 01:51 AM
3

Given that she's sugaring with the same guy (I think) it seems like continuing the dynamic for a bit longer is not going to make anything worse. In fact, it sounds like it'd be easier to disclose ('I was with a guy as a sugar-baby kind of thing but we ended up together for several years') than if it were short term. But I do agree, the particular power dynamic is potentially going to cause (more) harm if it keeps going for too long.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 01:35 AM
3

<3 I appreciate you, girl. Those of us with disordered eating need to be so careful with IF - my husband does it and loves it, my sister does it and loves it, if I do it, I start having the sort of thoughts that are not good and healthy for me.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 01:33 AM
3

I think it might just be the one guy, but she lied about his age for /r/relationships. She's been talking about the same 70 year old guy for a few years now, and mentioned that he's married (hence the 'other woman'). I'm thinking perhaps his wife is feeding him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 01:32 AM
2

What about if you ask him to order in? I'm trying to isolate the variables.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 01:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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