Disclaimer: I’ve been frequenting RP subs for about a week, so I’m sure there’s bits I’ma get wrong.
BG: I’ve been a wreck emotionally lately. It’s driving my husband nuts. Could be COVID, could be something else. I’ve recently been diagnosed w ADHD and the treatment for that helped me do things like actually get my house tidy a couple times a week. I’ve been melting down inexplicably, getting completely overwhelmed by kids whining or the puppy peeing indoors and I know it’s really weighing on my husband.
Cue RP! There’s a new sub, RPCWomen, I think, and I somehow started reading a post, “Why listen to men on a women’s sub?” It was literally at least 50% a foreign language to me, with words and acronyms that held (and some still hold) NO meaning in my understanding. No matter, I was intrigued.
I listened to a random YouTube series from the sidebar of one of the RP subs and found myself... not enraptured by the dude’s attitude, but oddly agreeing w a lot of what he was saying to do in practicality.
So my question is this: I know I’ve done a lot of blue-pill damage to my husband, and I hate it, expecting him to be something he’s not and he thinks he’s a failure, I think I’m a failure, yada, yada.
For the past day, I’ve been trying to apply some of the femininity/RP principles I read about to let him know that it’s okay to be a dude who doesn’t really care about the nuances of my emotions and my feeling prefect all the time. Even if I’m still a basket case, I’m on board w the idea that he generally knows what I want better than I do.
I’m pretty shocked by the results. I think he’s getting the signals I’m trying to convey. Tonight, I was engrossed in a hobby, and he said, “Time to be done.” and came over and stuff while I got to a stopping point. Last night, or the night before, he would have gone to bed without saying a word and been resentful for it the next day.
Note: I have read the posts on transactional thinking and I don’t think this is that. I don’t want to demand that he “become an alpha”, but I want him to know that if he is that way by nature (and I’m pretty sure he is), I no longer desire to change him to cater to my emotional needs.
I’m also convinced RP is basically a science, so is there a guide to RP femininity? Like what does it look like? What to avoid in interactions with the hubs, bc I don’t want to accidentally discourage him. We’re going on our 10th ann’y trip tomorrow for the weekend and I’m so psyched.
[–]HornsOfApathy12 points13 points14 points (31 children) | Copy Link
[–]kmfry3332 points3 points4 points (26 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy5 points6 points7 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–]HappilyMrsMid 30s, Married 17 years, 20 years total1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HappilyMrsMid 30s, Married 17 years, 20 years total0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HappilyMrsMid 30s, Married 17 years, 20 years total0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita0 points1 point2 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy1 point2 points3 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithfulGardener[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita0 points1 point2 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy0 points1 point2 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita0 points1 point2 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithfulGardener[S] 0 points1 point2 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithfulGardener2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]FaithfulGardener1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]FaithfulGardener1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pola_Lita1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Xtinamina1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithfulGardener[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathy1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]teaandtalk30, married 8 years1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]goldensurrender0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]teaandtalk30, married 8 years1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]goldensurrender0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]goldensurrender1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link