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HappilyMrs Archive

View 46 posts and 2,877 comments by HappilyMrs on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
130

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen07/04/20 03:02 PM
72

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen13/06/20 03:33 PM
72

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives15/07/21 11:39 AM
46

SELF IMPROVEMENTHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 12:43 PM
40

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 10:40 AM
38

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 03:40 PM
25

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives08/04/21 12:01 PM
25

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives27/05/21 09:51 AM
25

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 12:38 PM
24

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives18/07/21 02:43 PM
24

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives16/10/20 12:21 PM
23

CMVHappilyMrs/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 01:10 PM
21

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives30/06/20 02:08 PM
19

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives22/02/21 04:23 PM
18

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives16/04/21 05:46 PM
18

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives21/10/20 08:18 AM
17

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives22/10/20 08:59 AM
17

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives28/05/21 08:55 AM
17

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 07:42 PM
16

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen09/04/21 10:45 AM
15

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives16/07/21 09:29 AM
14

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives19/01/21 04:07 PM
14

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 04:11 PM
11

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives03/06/20 09:14 AM
11

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives30/05/21 04:58 PM
10

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 03:03 PM
10

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives05/05/21 08:52 AM
10

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives29/01/21 12:13 PM
9

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives26/06/20 02:00 PM
9

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives18/06/21 06:05 PM
9

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives20/10/20 09:08 AM
8

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives09/06/21 09:31 AM
7

ADVICEHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen28/06/20 01:20 PM
7

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives11/06/21 09:53 AM
7

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives27/01/21 11:01 AM
7

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives02/07/20 02:40 PM
5

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives20/01/21 06:03 PM
5

DiscussionHappilyMrs/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:56 PM
5

LTR/MARRIAGEHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWomen25/02/20 05:57 PM
5

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives24/11/21 09:28 AM
5

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives02/06/21 12:35 PM
4

DISCUSSIONHappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 03:26 PM
3

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives13/05/21 09:34 PM
3

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives25/03/21 11:58 AM
1

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives15/07/21 07:19 AM
1

HappilyMrs/r/RedPillWives17/06/21 09:14 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,877 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Heheh yes, but that is the one true overlord we are never allowed to criticise ;)
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 03:54 PM
1

No, RP views will continue to be very niche. The expectations people have for their lives have changed, and compromising with another human to make the best of things no longer has any value compared to fierce independence and individual control. It isn't just the loss of trad relationships either, it's the bonds of communities and wider families too. People are becoming more isolated, fragmented, and with less willingness to accept anything less than perfection.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 03:51 PM
2

Personal values come into play too though I think. I dont find high N counts attractive in any gender
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/22 11:32 AM
2

We have some fantasies like this, so I know what you mean
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 12:20 PM
8

This doesn't feel like a test to me, it feels like he is trying to normalise his fantasy and ease you towards accepting/participating. Is that a vibe you get?
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 11:54 AM
9

I don't really believe that a man who has slept around increases his value. He comes with a higher chance of STDs, more potentially reappearing exes, and a higher chance of having kids already that would take resources from your own household. How does that support our imperative of getting a good, committed, involved provider for our children?
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 11:39 AM
1

Cleaning and routines. I am still so bad with this.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 12:24 PM
6

Yeah, I'm here for the femininity and optimising my relationship. I'm definitely not conservative, nor massively trad. It's a toolbox, and you take what you can use
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 12:19 PM
6

Yep, this is what I think too. The rest of the stuff that is associated with it, like having lots of kids, women not working, vintage dressing, values re: other people's sex and gender, political values and so on, are all more flexible. It is about getting a Male-led relationship that is happy and satisfying for both people in it
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 12:18 PM
1

I believe a lot of things, doesnt mean they are scientifically accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:07 AM
1

So the genetics doesnt matter. At which point society isnt going to care about paternity fraud
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:04 AM
2

Some of it is that men expect sex that early now, and will say "if she has done it that early with others she has to with me", but then dump her all the same once she has
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 06:49 PM
1

I cannot see the Tories going for that. And it only saves money if the real dad is actually more willing and able to pay child support
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 06:47 PM
1

Interesting as viability is not possible so early. Very odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 06:47 PM
1

Going to see both movies as a double bill on date afternoon/night on sunday. So excited. I love her calm, intuitive energy
/r/RedPillWives23/08/22 06:46 PM
1

Who will pay for the testing and database maintenance and chasing up the real dads?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:33 PM
1

You said it is in society's best interests to find the real dad. The only way to guarantee that is through mandatory DNA database
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:32 PM
2

Be confident, competent, fun to be around, and don't make us your mummy. We don't like being suffocated by neediness.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:28 PM
1

Benefits and risks? The possible consequences of pregnancy, rape, stalking, physical and sexual assault are all much higher for us. It makes more sense for us to be choosy or only take the risk for a man who is extremely attractive. Men have much lower risk, therefore are much less choosy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:25 PM
5

I've been married a long time, but if I had to date again I wouldn't be drinking. I am sure most guys aren't going to take advantage of a drunk woman, but I'd rather not find out the hard way that I found one that would
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:19 PM
1

They want women to put out for them and increase their N, but also shame women for having a raised N from trying to find a suitable partner who also expected her to have sex before commitment. They just want themselves to be so amazing and sexy that they are always the exception to her rules and boundaries
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:18 PM
1

Because he has to be the guy that is just so amazing and sexy you will throw all your values and standards away for. You have to be a slut for him, but never anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:11 PM
1

So you support a full DNA database for finding the absent fathers?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:05 PM
1

Tested by whom, and how cool are you with the DNA database this will create for your children/grandchildren?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:01 PM
1

What process are you referring to for genetic testing at 6 weeks in utero? Where is making child support from conception?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:59 PM
0

Paid for by whom? And whose consent is needed to perform the test on a minor?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:56 PM
1

So if lamps her in the face he is still entitled to sex with her, if they are married? If she has cheated with his brother she's still entitled to sex? If either feels I'll enough to puke but the other is horny? Come on now.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:38 PM
4

Women like men who are tender. Women like men with good emotional regulation. Women like men who have a better emotional range than just Angry/Horny/Jealous.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:23 PM
2

Yep there's so many impacts throughout the body, just not everyone gets them. I'm lucky it's the only issue I have left, but it's still a nuisance when long healthy hair is a big goal.
/r/RedPillWives23/08/22 12:13 PM
9

Firstly, your husband needs a lot of support for his conditions and mental health. It doesnt sound like he is getting it. Secondly, you need to cut contact with the person you have a crush on. Don't feed the fire
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 09:36 PM
1

His ability to flirt without seeming sleazy or putting pressure on me to get involved with him. Gentlemanly flirting is so hard to find. Physically, being 6ft1, broad-shouldered, and having blue-green eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:25 AM
1

I'd think he was a tactless, impolite asshole and that I had dodged a bullet. I don't like casual cruelty. Nor would I reject someone that unkindly. "I don't feel a spark between us" or "I'm flattered but not interested that way, thanks" are perfectly fine. Don't hurt people unnecessarily.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:15 AM
1

As for rating a 1, maybe a 2 if I am dressed nicely and made up. All my value is in RMV for being loyal as hell and an N of 1. I am lucky to be married to the guy I mutually lost my virginity with and who still finds me attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:07 AM
1

D. I can't even remember the last time. Maybe 2006ish. But I am fat, almost 40, and have been married since I was 19 and wear my wedding ring.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:04 AM
1

We like men who own their shit. We want you to be emotionally intelligent, reliable, competent, intelligent enough to hold a decent conversation, and not a slob in your appearance or how you keep the space around you. We want men, not teenage boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:02 AM
2

Agreed. I feel for her that her husband is even thinking this!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:53 AM
4

I think there is a big challenge for men now. The lives men were raised to expect from parents, media etc. are rapidly becoming unattainable. There is a loss of purpose, and god knows what purpose they need to be put to. But, is it just men, or has our modern living made us all a little bit less sure of what the point of it all is? Perhaps lack of communities, more physically distanced friends and family, the constant bad news and doom-scrolling, the social media harm to our self-esteem, falling…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:44 AM
2

Agreed 100%. Men demanding a body positivity movement for men need to get out there and make one, not expect women to do the work for them
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:34 AM
3

Appearance this week for sure. I have been struggling with this lately, so am is to be on top of the necessary self-care, get my lashes dyed, get my hair dyed. I've been having trouble with hair loss since covid got me, and I'm very conscious of it, so trying strengthening shampoo and conditioner, and ammonia free dye.
/r/RedPillWives21/08/22 01:34 PM
3

There are other things you can lean into, your behaviour and dress, for example. He can still lead your family as the person who is home, if that suits you both
/r/RedPillWives21/08/22 01:17 PM
6

Has anyone seen Top Gun: Maverick? I love the way Penny Benjamin is with him when he has moments of self-doubt, felt very RPW to me. Encouraging him to follow what he knows it right, believing in him. Anyone got thoughts on this? :)
/r/RedPillWives20/08/22 07:31 PM
2

It sounds like they feel insecure in their appearance and style, and look to you for help to look better. It sounds like they admire your style
/r/RedPillWives20/08/22 07:30 PM
3

Yes and no. Yes, I am not going to leave if I can't get a particular sex thing, and I would appreciate my partner had limits. I would be glad of the extra effort for sex generally. No, because I will still desire that specific thing I am not getting, and will yearn for it. Extra sex, though welcome, is not going to scratch that particular itch, I will just have to learn to live with it. So IDK really.
/r/RedPillWives19/08/22 05:39 PM
2

Has anyone seen Top Gun: Maverick? I love the way Penny Benjamin is with him when he has moments of self-doubt, felt very RPW to me. Encouraging him to follow what he knows it right, believing in him. Anyone got thoughts on this? :)
/r/RedPillWives19/08/22 05:25 PM
2

It's for the non-feminist RPWs. There's no specific thread for the Generally Fem/Lib But RPW In My Relationships ladies.
/r/RedPillWives19/08/22 05:22 PM
2

I lean pretty left, and I have seen quite a bit of this. Frankly, I have never done the sleeping around thing and dont see any good reason to risk making a baby with a man I am not committed to and protected by. Abortion in my country isnt going anywhere
/r/RedPillWives16/08/22 05:47 PM
1

I lean pretty left, and I have seen quite a bit of this. Frankly, I have never done the sleeping around thing and dont see any good reason to risk making a baby with a man I am not committed to and protected by. Abortion in my country isnt going anywhere
/r/RedPillWives16/08/22 05:46 PM
4

It's a con. Women can have it all! Yes, all the work, all the child care, and all the housework. Honestly, why would you bother getting married if you have to do everything.
/r/RedPillWives16/08/22 05:40 PM
7

Counted cross-stitch. Magazines have free kits usually. Great for home decoration, personalised gifts and quirky greets cards. Simple to do
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 12:24 PM
5

I've been struggling with the appearance basics, so my goal this week is skin care and make up each day, showering more often, so that I look prettier for him
/r/RedPillWives30/07/22 10:31 AM
1

Mostly, yes 😆😆
/r/RedPillWives28/07/22 08:18 PM
1

Yep. I have a friend who loves being the breadwinner whilst her husband is a SAHD. She hates the whole concept of a Male-led marriage. It doesn't work for her at all. They are still very happy. Far be it for me to tell her her marriage is wrong, and vice versa
/r/RedPillWives28/07/22 07:04 PM
3

I do mine on the kitchen counters, it gives me space to organise it into piles for putting away in the right rooms
/r/RedPillWives28/07/22 07:00 PM
1

Definitely look into if it might be sleep apnea. It caused huge rows here, but he decided to get assessed and now has a cpap. It is so quiet I sometimes check if he is still breathing! Before that it was earplugs for me. I was in the process of setting up the spare room as a place I could sleep most nights
/r/RedPillWives28/07/22 06:55 PM
1

Is your anxiety general, or related to his actions? Have you looked into CBT, therapy, or meds?
/r/RedPillWives28/07/22 06:51 PM
2

My husband is going to come off his anti-depressants after many years on them. His mental health is much better. But there are some relationship issues I worry will get worse without them. How do I raise my relationship worries in a way that wont feel like I am criticising him?
/r/RedPillWives28/07/22 06:49 PM
8

Sounds like a good way of bringing up the activity :) I haven't been around much because I fall into an odd gap. I aim for a traditional dynamic with my husband, but I am not Christian, conservative or anti-feminist. My interpersonal dynamics and how I behave are mine alone, not something I see as the one true way that things should be. So it means I have drifted away as things have become more polarised between the general life outlooks of stereotypical liberals and conservatives. It's a shame,…
/r/RedPillWives23/07/22 10:59 AM
1

I didnt get along well with it for a while, but now after 2 decades of marriage it's a fairly common and pleasurable occurrence. We mostly do it during my period when I have my moon cup in so we aren't going without.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 11:45 AM
2

I think the average user may lean more feminist than the original demographic it was intended for. People have a spectrum of views, and not all of them are exclusive.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:45 PM
2

Something I rarely hear said, and something I think is vitally important :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:43 PM
1

Presumably it benefits them because they can hire desperate workers much cheaper and rake in the extra profits
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:39 PM
1

Not unless it seems fake or it's constant. I love seeing my friends' husbands and boyfriends comment about how much they love them. I wish my husband would do it a lot more.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:26 PM
2

Dont be too hard on yourself. You made mistakes and you have owned them. There is not a single perfect person on the planet.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:15 PM
4

Hear hear! I would love to see us finally reap the rewards that were suggested we would have once automation came in and we could live in a world of four day working weeks. But whilst there is money to be made by the super rich from the hard work of the regular folk, it won't happen.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:11 PM
2

I think unions are great and we need them back. The UK does better with unions than the US, but still nothing like they used to be, sadly.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:08 PM
3

You obviously were fortunate to grow up with a good income. Your experience is not the experience of all people who grew up back then. My family was broke, despite my father being a very traditional man. Interest rates in the 80s hit like 15% in the UK. For low income parents like money, that meant we were forever going without. Is your problem feminism, or capitalism? I really cant tell what you're railing against here
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:07 PM
1

What percentage of people on the earth were pretty white women in the 80s? I was there, it's not as many as you probably think! You cannot say "life was better then" when you are only talking about life for the tiny minority who are very privileged. They still got paid rubbish wages, were subjected to harassment, were forced out of work when they got pregnant.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:03 PM
6

"how have today's society and its implications affected your view on men and yourself?" None of these things have made much difference, aside from the fact there is so much more access to information about people's lives. The prevalence of rape, street harassment, domestic violence, and the apologies/excuses given for such has made a much bigger impression than whether people still get married in church, or what people do on tinder. People have always slept around, we just knew less about it. Pe…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 06:00 PM
34

Focus on it being a toolbox, not an identity. Take what works for you, and leave the rest. If you aren't comfortable giving up xyz, adopt the things you do like and do make you relationship better
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 05:29 PM
1

Very much so. Tbh, it's also the news, and social media too. There's so much horrible stuff happening to women.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/22 05:26 PM
3

I am both left wing and have a fairly traditional marriage, I dont feel I live my truth entirely in any sphere, because wherever one is welcome the other is not
/r/RedPillWives04/05/22 05:22 PM
6

It sounds like you need your own family home. The extra people you live with are clearly a source of conflict between you. He is retired at 31, and you are running the business whilst you have two small children who no doubt need a lot of your time. What does he do most of the time? Is it possible he is depressed by the lack of productivity? Autism is not caused by maternal stress in preg or newborn phase. It is a genetic/hereditary developmental issue. 4 months is very young to be showing clear…
/r/RedPillWives24/04/22 12:45 PM
1

He loves you. You need to trust that. When you argue about it with him, or dismiss it, you are telling him you do not trust him, that you do not think he is smart enough to know his own mind. Your weight won't kill your relationship, but your treatment of him might. As to what you see on the RP subs, take it all with a pinch of salt. There are a lot of angry, lonely people out there, and when you add in the anonymity of the internet, it gets ugly. Lose weight because it will help you achieve you…
/r/RedPillWives24/04/22 12:41 PM
2

Mine did his sleep study at home, it was two nights on a monitor. It has made such a big difference to us all
/r/RedPillWives16/04/22 11:32 AM
2

The snoring really does sound like sleep apnea, we had this problem for years. My husband finally dealt with it and has a cpap machine, I dont have to wear earplugs now as he's so quiet
/r/RedPillWives11/04/22 01:13 PM
3

I don't agree. It stops mums who likely have undiagnosed ADHD/Autism or other similar challenges from feeling like they are alone or complete failures. I dont see it as a personal attack on "put together" mums. It's a mechanism for not letting struggling mums feel like they are going to break under the pressure of society expecting perfection.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 05:08 PM
5

I'm sorry, it's so hard when that happens. Remember that however upset you might be with him, he probably already feels a hundred times worse at himself
/r/RedPillWives30/03/22 05:01 PM
1

Because women naturally gravitate towards having a social circle with other women, and we find our place in those social spaces based on whether we are included or excluded. When you don't fit in with the dominant culture, it's hard to fit in and find that connection.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/22 10:46 AM
6

Yes, I have had to learn to receive in his love language. He rarely gives WOA, but will spend hours making something for me if I tell him an issue I need solving, fixing stuff, doing errands and chores. He is acts of service followed by physical touch. I don't enjoy giving acts of service, on the whole, as it seems bland to me, but I still try to bear it in mind. Even little things like making him hot drinks before he mentions them makes him feel very loved.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/22 10:43 AM
3

If this irritates you now it is going to drive you bonkers once you add in kids. Generally, their opinion of "cleaned" is different. They dont care as much, and don't have such high standards. If you want it perfect, you can't just ask him to deal with it, he will only do it his own way. Is he purposefully not doing an adequate job, or does he just NGAF to the same standard as you?
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/22 10:46 AM
14

I think the latter point might make a difference. It's a deal breaker for many, but also an indicator you may have very different opinions and values to them
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/22 10:41 AM
4

There is no need for him to scorn the things you get joy from. Just because he doesn't "get it" doesn't mean it is okay to belittle you or make you feel bad.
/r/RedPillWives21/03/22 08:44 AM
33

I don't think of RP as an identity. It is a toolbox to me, nothing more.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 09:53 PM
10

Why does it?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 09:52 PM
1

It sounds like she is jealous of her sister.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 11:35 AM
2

He doesn't like the idea of a girlfriend modelling and being on display. The comments on money are to encourage you away from keeping up this career. The coat around the waist thing feels like a red flag to me for insisting you cover up further than you wanted to
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 11:33 AM
2

If everything else is good (communication, affection, sex, no concerns re:infidelity), let him sleep wherever he needs to. Have you sat down and had a non-emotional conversation? Instead of "If you do X, Y will happen to us", which massively puts more pressure on him, express it as "I would love it if we could both sleep in the same bed, how can I help that happen?"
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 11:27 AM
2

Donating them. But he should be speaking to his family and asking them to stop.
/r/RedPillWives18/03/22 11:18 AM
1

I always think housework is so draining because it never ends. It never seems like you've completed it. Are you following a specific method?
/r/RedPillWives18/03/22 11:17 AM
7

Daily, the few pictures we have are up in the hall. It was the days before digital cameras and smartphones, so the pics are few and far between. Almost 20 years on, we managed to salvage the VHS tape of it made by a fairly-inept family member last year, and get it saved to PC and youtube. I've watched that a few times. We were so very young, devoted, and had no idea the troubles we would go through in the decades to come.
/r/RedPillWives18/03/22 11:15 AM
3

I know an awful lot of feminists who would call this out for the horse shit it is.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/22 10:17 AM
12

Also, anyone else really wanting to know how much effort he puts into his appearance, and if he has any real concept of the time and effort putting very put together takes?
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/22 10:13 AM
8

Yep, he shouldn't have spoken to her like that. He should have addressed his concerns like an adult. An emotional outburst like a teenager is neither attractive nor behaving like a good captain. I can appreciate her desire to be more comfortable. I can understand his desire for her to be back as she was.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/22 10:12 AM
6

It would help to add some discussion to your post. What do you think of the article and studies, how do you think that relates to a RP world view?
/r/RedPillWives16/03/22 10:03 AM
3

There's a lot more left leaning women here than you may assume :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/22 03:33 PM
1

Flylady app is my go to
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/22 03:29 PM
5

I cannot see how this Russia-Ukraine stuff can end without worldwide chaos and disruption. Year 3 of the 2020s is not much better than the other two so far
/r/RedPillWives14/03/22 03:27 PM
5

The parting with love thing is important to me to. My great grandparents were having an argument one morning before he went out to work in the fields (he was a farmer). He got hit by a car and killed. She lived another forty five years after that, always hurting that she hadn't said she loved him as she always did every day
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/22 09:45 AM
2

He needs an assessment for sleep apnea. Mine is much better with his cpap
/r/RedPillWives11/03/22 12:57 PM
2

Yes, you should ask him. As his wife, you have the right to know what he anticipates your future looking like. Guessing what will happen is only going to make you unhappy.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/22 11:00 AM
3

Oh bless you, this sounds tough. Do you have support from family and friends right now? I will say that I think you're right to be considering your options. Living on a low income isn't easy, especially if there is conflict between you when it comes to differing expectations and standards. Even when you are aligned it can be hard. I think you need to really take some time to think about your future. You're only 22, and you have time to get yourself where you want to be. You have been with him qu…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/22 10:59 AM
3

I get it. I am big too and have been since my early teens. It isn't easy, and anyone who tells you it is is almost certainly someone who has never been very overweight. If "just diet" was able to fix it, noone would be overweight. We've all tried multiple things over the years. If I recall right, less than 5% of people who lose a sizeable amount manage to maintain it. You are still a worthy human being at whatever size you are. You just have a lot more challenges than lower weight people. You ca…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/22 10:47 AM
2

Is he depressed? Sleep okay?
/r/RedPillWives10/03/22 10:28 AM
1

That sounds good. It gives you an identity away from your other roles too, which many women enjoy.
/r/RedPillWives10/03/22 10:27 AM
5

I think he was fishing for information because he didn't feel he would get a straight answer outright. He was obviously concerned about you. I would say to him that it hurt your feelings and impacted your wider friendships, and you don't like that he resorted to that. Tell him you are concerned that he didnt just approach you straight, and ask why he felt it necessary. Reassure him that you will give him a straight answer if he asks a straight question, and go through with that.
/r/RedPillWives10/03/22 10:26 AM
1

Dr Stacey Patten
/r/RedPillWives10/03/22 09:01 AM
1

I used to feel it was appropriate, but the works of a particular child advocate writer put me off it
/r/RedPillWives09/03/22 04:31 PM
3

A kid who fears you response will hide their troubles. Personally, I dont want my child to ever be so afraid of my reaction that he couldn't come to me if he was being harmed, bullied or abused.
/r/RedPillWives09/03/22 10:44 AM
3

Maybe my husband just doesn't comment on it much :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/22 01:40 PM
3

Teen girls will rebel, it's the nature of the beast. Better to foster a healthy open channel of communication so they can come to you without judgment if they need help than make them terrified of your disapproval
/r/RedPillWives08/03/22 01:40 PM
6

There is a dior perfume I had a tiny sample of years ago that I wore on special occasions, including my wedding day. I've had it as gifts in previous years, but it's of my price range really. I know that one has fond memories for him. The one I wear now is cheaper, and I try to remember to put on a little before bed. I don't know how much he really notices it now. Maybe I should try to get back to using the expensive one.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/22 02:06 PM
9

I stopped working when I was pregnant in 2011 and haven't been back. I don't miss it. But I wasnt only working part time retail, so it wasn't something I loved. We'd always planned that I would stop working when we had a child
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/22 05:20 PM
11

So why do you choose to come back?
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/22 09:02 AM
2

I agree with the bit about learning about more touching etc. We generally get caught up in PIV with minimal foreplay as what is "sex", and that can mean women, who generally need more foreplay in and out of the bedroom, have not-so-great sex. And poor sex = reduced interest in having more sex
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/22 04:10 PM
30

I have had libido issues but my husband was much more flexible in his expectations. It wasn't a good time for us, it became a huge wedge. What helped me was understanding that sex for him was like conversation for me. If my husband wasn't wanting to listen or talk to me, I would feel upset by that. I feel close when we talk and there are lots of words of affirmation. He feels close when we have enthusiastic sex. My lack of enthusiasm felt to him like it would to me if I was confiding in him and …
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/22 01:07 PM
7

I think everyone's relationships are their own damned business. Consent is the only thing that bothers me. People are generally serially monogamous. Most people will have multiple sexual partners in their lifetimes, and loads will cheat on their spouse. I'd rather people consensual involve others than cheat
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 04:54 PM
13

My first step would be contact the potential employer and ask about changing dates, so you have the best information to work with. Whether they can or can't allow it will make a big difference for your decision.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 02:52 PM
12

In that case, yes you should reach out. Just send something like "Thinking of you right now. I miss you"
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 01:52 PM
3

Keep the house better (achieve daily tasks most days of the week) End the month lighter than I started it Start on gardening chores
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 10:39 AM
65

A boyfriend is someone you're actively in communication with at least daily (unless extreme circumstances). You also regularly spend time together unless LDR. This sounds more like a casual friends with benefits situation. OP, is this what you actually want, or are you feeling the pressure to be intimate with his to gain his attention and commitment?
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 10:38 AM
3

I'm going to be 40 next year, and honestly, I can't say I care about the wall stuff. I married young, to a man I have been loyal to despite all manner of challenges we've been through. If he was foolish about to throw away two decades of love, loyalty and growing up together for some girl in her early twenties, I wouldn't respect him anywhere near as much. The wall is going to be small change compared to being post-menopausal and dealing with whatever health challenges, loss of parents, empty ne…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 01:40 PM
1

If the choice to work is yours, will you also be doing 100% of the domestic duties?
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 01:26 PM
2

We are more blessed than we know
/r/RedPillWives02/03/22 01:23 PM
5

Gosh, this is such a valuable input! Thanks for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 11:23 AM
4

RPW is a toolbox, as RP for men is. It's entirely possible to be generally feminist and also use RP tools and techniques to have a more traditional style marriage, and there will certainly be posters here that lean that way, just as there are left/liberal/progressives here too
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/22 09:11 PM
2

Just gotta keep out chins up. We got through 20-21, we can handle this :)
/r/RedPillWives28/02/22 08:03 PM
8

This is normal, things are scary now, and it's on top of us having lived in a state of anxiety for two years. However, the chances of nuclear war are very very small. There will always be increased intensity from news sources because it makes people listen. Ask your partner to help minimise the stress on you and your baby by reducing your exposure to news. Make sure you eat/sleep/drink and self-care as the priority. Life has to go on, despite the threats. Women have always had dangers and worrie…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/22 12:54 PM
3

Totally agree. This helped me so much in Spring 2020 when we were suddenly locked down. I was very lucky (partly at least) that my husband worked in a grocery store too
/r/RedPillWives28/02/22 12:49 PM
9

We have basically moved from covid crisis to war crisis. I want to remind anyone who needs it that it is okay to step away from the news. You don't have to watch this go down minute by minute, if you're fortunate enough not to be in the immediate danger zone. Go for a walk, drink some tea, spend some time on the things that bring you joy. I'm trying to tie up my February and look forward into March. My goals for the month are getting my weight loss back on track, start sorting out the weeding th…
/r/RedPillWives27/02/22 12:17 PM
1

Yeah, I've definitely experienced the lows of it, we had a triad situation that went pear-shaped due to conflict, different wants and expectations. Noone came out of it happier. But that doesnt mean it doesnt work for some people. RPW is a toolbox, and those tools can be used however tou want to use them, in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/22 12:12 PM
3

I'm so sorry you went through that
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:44 PM
1

We did alternated years, until my BIL passed away. Now we go to my SIL each time as she and the kids need us
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:39 PM
1

Condoms are not 100% against STDs.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:36 PM
3

The impact in western countries is most likely going to be economic, rather than any boots on the ground situation. So preparing with frugality is the key. Easy to do if you have surplus income, a lot more challenging if you're only just managing as things are. The big threats like us being bombed, or nuclear weapons are very very unlikely. There's not much we could do about those things, so my aim is to let that go. It is outside of my circle of control. Remember that we got through the early a…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:30 PM
2

I buy fresh flowers cheap in the supermarket when they are marked down at the end of the day, they generally last longer than the store suggests
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:19 PM
1

I think it's really bad that you got down voted when you were kind enough to open up and give a perspective against the grain. I am glad things are working for you
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:14 PM
1

I'm in a similar boat
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:11 PM
1

I'm a bit of both! I'm more like "you do what and who you want, as long as everyone is enthusiastically consenting" but also "Hell will freeze over before I can be Poly"
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:10 PM
3

Having tried something along this vein, I would say for me personally it is a huge no. I think it's up to people to decide for their own marriages, but many people are monogamous wired and poly doesnt suit them.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/22 05:08 PM
2

It's likely he cares far less about the housework than you do, so be gentle with yourself. Have you ever looked at the Flylady system?
/r/RedPillWives26/02/22 05:04 PM
0

Are you getting any self-care, or doing anything joyful that is just for you? It sounds like maybe you're running on empty and noone else is filling your cup
/r/RedPillWives26/02/22 05:03 PM
1

I find my husband very quickly absorbs my mood. Maybe yours is doing the same. I hate to say this, because we are generally expected to think everything is perfect, but marriage and day-to-day life is a grind. The exciting highs to travelling up the relationship ladder lessen when you get up near the top, and the intensity of wedding planning and the honeymoon finishes. That is part and parcel of it. You're making a life together now, and it isnt going to be constant thrills. It's wonderful, but…
/r/RedPillWives26/02/22 05:00 PM
3

Yeah, this is a new sort of threat feeling on top of two hard years.
/r/RedPillWives24/02/22 12:17 PM
3

It is difficult. Be kind and patient with yourself
/r/RedPillWives24/02/22 12:16 PM
1

Oh no. Podcasts can help make it more pleasant
/r/RedPillWives24/02/22 12:15 PM
4

My sister started her own cleaning business after starting off as a cleaning lady. She now employs my mum and is looking to add more employees. She loves her job, many of her customers are older and disabled so she is also making a big positive impact on their lives.
/r/RedPillWives24/02/22 12:14 PM
3

SAD light has been a godsend for my husband with depression
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/22 09:43 AM
2

It is challenging when it feels you're giving so much more and it isn't fair. Are you running low on self-care?
/r/RedPillWives22/02/22 09:23 AM
1

RPWives is a toolbox. It tells you how to maximise the polarity in the sexes to improve relationships. It isnt a clique, it isnt a tradcon right wing only space . The women here are varied, and this place allows them to take what they need and leave the rest.
/r/RedPillWives21/02/22 09:45 AM
3

Why is he getting three days whilst you get one, much of which they are at school for? I'd be irked by this too
/r/RedPillWives21/02/22 09:34 AM
1

Your smear is vital. You can talk to your medical professional about these fears too. But being a virgin simply means having not had penetrative sex with a partner. It simply marks that first time, that's all. And honestly, any man that would want you to skip a test that helps you not end up with a terminal illness is an idiot that doesnt deserve to be your first anyhow.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 10:31 AM
5

We all have plenty of desires for things that we cannot have due to circumstances and situations. Many men have the desire to have mutual sexual partners, but have to limit that desire to just one. I don't see that a woman's desire to nurture being channelled into her pets is inherently bad. Noone should have kids if they dont want them and feel like they have the capacity to make a decent life with them. If women aren't finding happy marriages, it's understandable to seek to nurture something e…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 10:21 AM
1

Have you ever compared how much it costs to provide for a household with children for single parents versus the support they get? In the broken down marriages I know, the women have struggled far more financially after divorce than they ever did during the marriage, whilst their exes have more surplus income.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 10:16 AM
0

The sheer majority of kids in split families are not growing up without their fathers. I grew up in a home where my parents marriage was a train wreck but they stuck it out for years "for the sake of the children". It affected us kids badly and each of us has come out of it with different challenges to making a happy relationship work.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 10:14 AM
1

Why is normal infant/toddler behavior stigmatized or blown out of proportion in media? Is it? I don't think we're any worse societally for judging tantrums and things than we ever were. Look at the expected behaviours of children in public historically, I think we're more tolerant. Why is having a child "risky" or "permanent" while owning a pet isnt? Because pets live 15 years, not 80. Rehoming pets if your circumstances change is common. Feeding them is cheaper, looking after them and educating…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 10:11 AM
14

There's a lot of left leaning women here. It's okay to be progressive but choose a relationship style that is more traditional. RPW is a toolbox, not a political/social club you can or cant belong to :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/22 01:28 PM
1

Congratulations :D
/r/RedPillWives15/02/22 01:25 PM
1

Awww. I have the problem that mine exist but they're highly uncoordinated
/r/RedPillWives10/02/22 10:32 AM
1

Yes, however I have to be very careful with that sort of thing as I have epilepsy too, so I have to be careful with anything extreme
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 07:13 PM
2

I've never read that before, but understanding that sex to him = verbal intimacy to me has had a huge impact on our sex life the last few years
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 07:11 PM
1

They are mutual friends? Is he closer to them than you?
/r/RedPillWives07/02/22 07:01 PM
3

Thank you, but I know what to do, it's doing it and sticking with it that's the key
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/22 05:10 PM
5

We've grown together over time. We've been through a lot. I've supported him right through some serious mental health battles, and I'm loyal as hell. I think there are an awful lot of traits that are underrated when we only talk about people's externals :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/22 11:47 AM
3

This is an excellent answer, and I totally agree.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/22 10:53 AM
33

No, I'd rather we pour money into treating people's mental health issues because they hate themselves for how they look... honestly, theres plenty of dumb crap we pay tax for that I would rather not, especially here in the UK.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:16 PM
8

I think it's actually that people are just so damn tired of never feeling good enough that they want to forge a new path where happiness is attainable. Life is short, people are sick of chasing a standard they will almost certainly never meet.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:15 PM
54

Sometimes they actually just love a particular person. My husband has had plenty of options over the years for leaving me, and yet he stays. Because he loves me, we've got a shared history, and I am his person. It's not that he couldn't "do better" by being with someone much slimmer, it's that regardless of how skinny she was, she wouldn't be "better" to him.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:12 PM
14

I'm fat and I'm just doing my best to keep my life as happy as I can. Body positivity makes me feel less like doing myself harm. I welcome it because life is hard enough, and realistically all anyone wants is to have a life they dont want to run away from. I dont really care overmuch if it means I'm at a disadvantage in the dating market, I've been with my husband longer than many people on dating apps have been alive for. I'd love to lose weight. I've tried a ton of stuff over the years, and no…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/22 09:10 PM
1

Well done! It's so easy to get sucked into old patterns and family drama. It sounds like you've done an excellent job
/r/RedPillWives05/02/22 05:18 PM
5

This feels much like you have "settled" for this guy despite many misgivings in terms of attraction and socio-economic incompatibility. Life is tough. You never know what financial or medical disasters could come your way. Be sure that the man you choose is someone you can love and respect, because when the challenges come the little fractures become fault lines that can break a marriage. Also, watch out for making your parents' approval your hard line. Whether you do or dont end up with him sho…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 07:37 PM
9

Praise the good, ignore the bad. "It made me feel so loved/proud when you did xyz earlier. You make me feel happy"
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 07:21 PM
1

Do you ever tell him you're going to do it solo?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 07:18 PM
1

How does it impact your actual sex life? Does he know you know? Are you able to talk to him about it openly?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 09:29 AM
49

You need to step right back. Get on with your life. You're both young, the relationship was short and long distance. Spend some time working on making yourself happy. If he wants to come back he will, but no amount of tips and tricks will make him change his mind if his focus is elsewhere. It's hard to get over when you really care, but you won't feel good having him back if you are always wondering if it's simply down to things you specifically did, and not just because he missed you
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 09:13 AM
2

It's awful isn't it? I'm glad you're doing well now
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 05:45 PM
5

We started trying very soon after we got together, way way too young. I never thought fertility issues would happen, I was in my teens! However, it took meds, surgery, a failed IUI, 3 miscarriages before our son was born 12 years after we started. Secondary IF means he is an only child. The many years TTC did a huge number on our sex life. It doesn't seem like it at the time, but it can mess you up in so many ways.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 02:31 PM
1

Bisexual doesnt mean non-monogamous. I know full well my husband is around a 1-2 on that scale too, and I'm even more bi than that. What matters is fidelity to us.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 07:48 PM
1

I wonder what the prevalence of depression, self-harm and suicide is in the cultures where constantly grinding other people down is the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 06:30 PM
1

Because it's absolutely tedious for people to go through life feeling like crap about themselves, and when push comes to shove most people are not perfect and just want to feel valued. I don't see there's any harm in supporting others and stopping them from hating themselves. Life is tough enough as it is. Kindness costs nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 06:29 PM
1

Nothing. I find it commercialised and overrated. Also, our wedding anniversary is early Feb, and I would rather celebrate a personal day than the one we're expected to participate in.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 06:22 PM
2

Ask them if they enjoy their life as it is, then tell them you enjoy yours. Generally I find the root cause is jealousy. Why should I get to have a calm, peaceful life if they dont. What they forget is that I do without a lot of the things they arent willing to give up.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/22 10:28 AM
2

Okay so coming from a place where long term trying to get pregnant and my responsive desire were both huge factors in a former dead bedroom, I would say that no, noone is entitled to sex, and having sex you aren't wanting is not going to fix it. It will only create a mental link between sex and feeling bad, both for the person who typically refuses, and for the person who receives the less-than-enthusiastic sex. The solution is working on the relationship and on an individual level to make sex m…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/22 10:26 AM
3

How are you doing?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/22 10:12 AM
2

Sometimes it's so easy to get caught in the negatives
/r/RedPillWives31/01/22 10:10 AM
0

Yep was going to say this
/r/RedPillWives13/01/22 03:05 PM
1

Perhaps a couples therapist who have experience with ND folk might be helpful?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 02:54 PM
2

Awesome:)
/r/RedPillWives12/01/22 02:52 PM
5

I think sometimes starting a new year makes it harder rather than easier!
/r/RedPillWives12/01/22 02:52 PM
1

You arent alone in terms of not being completely aligned with RP as it is presented as an identity. But as a Take What Serves You toolbox I find it valuable.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 09:52 AM
8

Has he ever been assessed for autism himself? At the very least, it sounds like you could do with some support for yourself and managing your neurodiversity. Do you have any at present? It sounds like you are being expected to change in ways that will be challenging considering your neurodiversity.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 09:49 AM
4

Interesting. My husband doesnt talk to his male friends like that, especially using that slur, so maybe I see ot as more serious than others would.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/22 01:19 PM
5

Does a man who will call a woman he's been seeing for 18m those things retain much RMV? I think it's healthy to have hard limits, and there isnt any "value" to me from a man who would speak to me like that. Don't care if he's a millionaire, respect cannot be bought, and I wouldn't respect him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 06:38 PM
1

You're right. And I know at a logical level the solution is to be better at being me, and to make each day special. I know my husband loves me, and I know he would miss me dreadfully (we've been together since we were teens, more than two decades ago). Sometimes I think it's bloody hard loving someone so much that their absence would break you badly.
/r/RedPillWives10/01/22 10:11 AM
9

Flylady for routine, especially the app. KonMari method for drawer storage.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/22 11:29 AM
3

Monthly wipe down, deep clean every six months. I have a teflon sheet thingy in the bottom that protects the oven itself and I can dishwasher it. I use pink paste (I think its stardrops, I'm in the UK)
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/22 11:27 AM
8

I don't follow her. I'm sceptical due to previous controversy, but I also don't massively consume vlogs in general.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/22 11:25 AM
2

Can you see someone about it? I would be honest with him. It will take time to get help for, and you will need support from any partner you have.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/22 11:23 AM
5

My thanatophobia is through the roof today, specifically the idea of my husband dying and having to manage without him, or if I die him moving on and being happier with someone better. The second is definitely connected to my low self-esteem. Ideally I'd get therapy, but for all its fabulous things, the NHS in the UK is awful for lack of therapy, and I cannot afford to pay for it.
/r/RedPillWives09/01/22 11:19 AM
7

If you've never had to jump through the hoops to access much needed help you have been very fortunate.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/22 03:33 PM
5

So you made a mistake. I think we all do at times. Ask yourself what you would say to a best friend or beloved sister who came to you with this issue. We are never as gentle to ourselves as to others, and we should be. Let it guide you. You can see that at present this behaviour is hindering rather than helping you. I dont have much advice about making your solo sex better without involving others, I'm sure other group members who have been in nun mode might have some though Be kind to yourself
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/22 12:03 PM
4

I think you need to give it longer and see how things progress. You have been open with them about the situation, and they are both okay at present. In just the same way as if you were dating, you need to get to know them longer than you have before working out what you need. Do you have all the medical and social support in place to optimise your application for disability payments? I'm not sure what country you are in, but here in the UK a lot of charities will help you with form filling to gi…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/22 11:58 AM
7

Wow. Ask yourself whether this comment is even something you needed to post. There is no excuse for bullying people with disabilities.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/22 11:55 AM
2

Having been with mine 20+ years, I am definitely feeling the pressure now to stay young. However, I was never high SMV at all. But my husband loves me, he would love me if I got super sick, because my worth to him is significantly more than just about my face, my body etc.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/22 08:21 PM
1

That sounds like a good plan :D
/r/RedPillWives06/01/22 06:02 PM
1

Lose 5lbs Make Saturday Family Activity day again, even if it is something simple
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/22 01:11 PM
1

Excellent, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/22 01:06 PM
9

I have tried adding a third person to our situation. I was also sceptical, wary and naturally jealous. It was a disaster. There were times when I felt suicidal over it, and when it ended it destroyed friendships. Not everyone is poly-able. Yes, it's fashionable, yes it may suit men's wants. But if your need monogamy, you will be better finding a mono partner. Don't screw up your mental well-being, it is not worth it. I wont delve into the work stuff, but perhaps reflect on whether your lack of s…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/22 01:05 PM
1

I am currently listening to Jordan Peterson, who I have the conception of being very far from my general world view. It is interesting, though I am working on taking away some value from the bits I find useful. There's much I don't believe in. I do think as a person he seems quite genuine, and I like that he isnt afraid to become emotional when talking about his wife's cancer. I also watched a video that interviewed Dr John Gray earlier, the Mars and Venus chap, which I found very interesting de…
/r/RedPillWives06/01/22 12:43 PM
2

Self-discipline is a huge red area for me. I have good intentions, but gravitate towards feeling good/at ease rather than doing things I dislike, and then time has slipped away from me and I get nothing done. Do you find planners/alarms/timers help?
/r/RedPillWives06/01/22 12:35 PM
2

There are definitely things I disagree with of hers. There are deal breakers that I could never just move on from by being more fun/doing more self-care. I also think there's a big expectation that you are already mentally healthy and just dont have balance or enough gentleness. Maybe approach it in a way that allows you to then cherry-pick what you do and don't want from it? Might that help? What motivated your mum to sign you up?
/r/RedPillWives06/01/22 12:34 PM
3

It sounds like he is embarrassed by it and his pride is a bit dented. Love him, take care of him, and give him space. Stop trying to get him to talk about it. Accept his statement that he doesn't blame you with good grace. Even hamstring over it you are centering your own feelings. If you trust him, trust him.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/22 11:56 AM
12

Married almost 19 years, have never had this sort of in depth conversation with pictures about women's clothing. It smacks of criticism to me.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/22 11:53 AM
7

If your best friend, daughter or mum was in this situation, what would you tell her? For me, red lines would have been crossed, and it would be over.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/22 11:51 AM
2

Thanks for the tag, I had already started reading the post with excitement before seeing it :D Definitely in! Never read it before, saw the Keira Knightley movie but it didn't grab me, so hopefully the book will
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/22 02:52 PM
2

Because it gives me helpful tips for how to keep my relationship running well, because I find it interesting, and it makes me think
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/22 02:33 PM
6

That's so sad. My husband has depression and suspected BPD, we've been together more than 20 years, and he has always confided in my emotionally. I can't imagine weaponising something so precious.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 02:47 PM
2

Can you call in the aid of any wider family, friends, or professional caregivers/cleaners? You have a lot on your plate.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 02:38 PM
9

I don't. I don't think of myself as blue pill either. I like a traditional gender dynamic between me and my husband. For society as a whole, my views are very mixed. I dont 100% buy in to many of the RP views on things. I am generally very liberal, and think that we should be progressing towards everyone living happier lives better in keeping with treating the planet well. RP to me should be a toolbox where you can utilise what works for making your relationship (and in turn, your life) happier.…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 02:36 PM
3

I think a whole post ofln vulnerability, why we struggle, how that impacts our marriages, and how to lean into it would be fab! As for the gifts, making sure you show excitement and happiness openly helps. People like giving something to unwrap. My favourite gift this year was a digital file my husband made me, so nothing to unwrap, but I made sure to show my pleasure, and keep saying how much I love it
/r/RedPillWives03/01/22 02:22 PM
1

I share some of these values, despite being very liberal otherwise. My friends are very liberal, as are my family. In my own marriage I'm traditional. It's hard not fitting in anywhere
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/21 03:50 PM
0

And just do all the work, despite working out of the home as well?
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/21 06:48 PM
2

Do not push it. Remember you are serving him as he needs by letting him grieve as he wants, not how you want him to. He is a man, and many men do not grieve how we would.
/r/RedPillWives27/12/21 03:09 PM
2

Well done :)
/r/RedPillWives21/12/21 11:57 AM
2

Can I ask, is there a reason the marriage is so far away? Are you both waiting to be more ready for it, or is it simply seasonal concerns? He shouldn't be pushing you, regardless of religion. Sex should be fully consensual, whether it is waiting til marriage or a one night stand. Are there any other red flags?
/r/RedPillWives21/12/21 11:56 AM
3

Arent Kim and Kanye getting divorced though?
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:49 PM
3

Oh dear I can see me getting masses of down votes! A world where people are paid well for their labour, where the highest earners are not worth trillions of dollars, there is good safe housing for all, good healthcare for all. People are free to set up their families as they wish, and the pay is good enough that you can have one person at home, the other working. Work-life balance is more important than becoming obscenely wealthy. Making our human impact on the planet less detrimental. De-escala…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:48 PM
10

Some would say Hypergamy is our natural instinct, as is the human nature for tribalism and making war. Are those good things just because they are "natural"?
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:31 PM
9

Every relationship is different. My BIL was quite submissive, and they were a wonderful, happy couple until he sadly passed away last year
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 02:29 PM
2

Why do I always think up crafty items to make for loved ones for xmas, forgetting that I will procrastinate til the last minute then feel overwhelmed and annoyed about them?
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 02:10 PM
1

In my experience, it depends on the state of the relationship and the current sexual quality and quantity. If I am feeling well connected and secure, and we are having great sex with plenty of foreplay on a frequent basis, then yes, let's take five minutes for quickie sex on the couch, I dont even care about orgasming. But if that is all there is, I would feel like my pleasure doesnt matter and it is just a means to an end for him.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 02:09 PM
2

It is vitally important to let go of the old feelings from a DB situation, for you both. You have both made a choice to go forward together, you need to both work on forgiving each other for the feelings that came up at the time. You cannot build a house on foundations that you both keep digging up.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 02:06 PM
1

How is this helpful to the OP?
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 02:03 PM
1

I have found, both as the lower and higher libido person at times, that encouraging contact works better. That isnt to say force yourself to do something that doesnt feel right, but that you can sometimes change the vibe by giving praise, instruction or enthusiasm. Every encounter that he walks away from feeling positive about will increase the desire to come back again
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 02:02 PM
5

Yes! On balance the risk of covid, especially those who survive and get long covid is worse. The damage can come from even asymptomatic infections.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 01:58 PM
2

My sister in law had bell's palsy, it was really not nice.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 01:57 PM
3

Some people are hoping to see them suffer, I think. It's disgusting.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 01:56 PM
2

Bless him, poor thing. Why is it we are allowed to give TLC to our kids, friends, family members (even brothers/fathers), but our husbands must be told to get on with it? He is a human being, the one we chose to be loving and devoted to.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 01:55 PM
20

How is being at a party where he can get super drunk an essential for impressing anyone?
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/21 10:56 AM
4

Why would he need help or supervision with a baby?
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/21 10:55 AM
2

Speak to a professional about your anxiety, until this is worked on it will be hard to tackle the rest. Self-care and sleep are important too
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 08:02 PM
1

Nope
/r/RedPillWives08/12/21 08:00 PM
3

No, both are a serious lack of respect. Remember as well that 4am is half an hour after finishing work for him, so the same as late night. You are both being childish and need to stop. The bedroom is not a place to antagonize each other. You should automatically understand that having a light on when someone has barely slept is selfish, that doesn't need him to explain, it is common sense. Similarly, he shouldn't do the same to you. My husband and I managed when I was working 10am-2pm, and he wa…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 11:53 AM
8

I have no idea who she is but marital rape and abuse should be a red line imho. There are situations which are unviable, no matter how feminine you try to be
/r/RedPillWives07/12/21 10:28 AM
2

I'm not sure we're through it all yet but we all deserve to be gentle with ourselves, this is unprecedented on the speed and scale, as well as our permanent access to news. In generations past, there wasn't so many constant updates, which I think likely helped people manage to get on with things day-to-day. I can't imagine the awfulness of having something like WW2 be played out minute by minute in the news and social media for years on end.
/r/RedPillWives06/12/21 05:22 PM
2

This is a good idea :)
/r/RedPillWives06/12/21 05:20 PM
10

Look, you're two years into a global pandemic that has turned our whole world upside down. You absolutely need to be gentle to yourself. So things are dirty and messy. They can be cleaned. You have the ability to deal with it. If you need it, tell your husband how you feel, let him forgive you, and trust him when he says it's okay. Noone is perfect.
/r/RedPillWives06/12/21 11:27 AM
3

I dont give it much thought tbh, most of it is just deeply unpleasant. I will read MRP sometimes, but even that I take with a large pinch of salt. The world is wider and more complex than any binary Pill system. Use anything that helps you personally, ditch the rest. I don't have a RP husband (which I am glad about), but some of the advice here helps our relationship run smoother and happier, so I take those bits and ignore the things that don't fit for us
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/21 05:55 PM
4

It sounds like you might have some sort of mental block against it. Oral can be loving, it doesnt have to be slutty. I think sometimes we can get caught up in an idea of something like this being cheap or disrespectful, and it's hard to undo that, especially if there is relgion/uptight upbringing involved
/r/RedPillWives05/12/21 10:05 AM
2

I would say that your biggest drawback for men is going to be this toxic jealousy thing. Let it go. Yes, she excels you in areas of your lives. There will always be prettier, smarter, richer women than you. All you do by focusing on them is make yourself feel worse. You are not her, and wanting to be better than her isnt a good life goal. Make yourself better, but dont waste your youth on this.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/21 12:56 PM
1

Tell him you can see he is having a tough time and you want to do whatever you can to support him. Tell him you will do your best to make any changes needed, and you will support him through whatever needs to be done about work. Make sure your self care is good, journal your feelings, and lean on your support network. Try to be light and upbeat generally, but make sure you give him space without complaint or demands. Work with his love language. My husband has had depression since childhood. The…
/r/RedPillWives03/12/21 07:47 PM
2

Excellent, this sounds like a lovely outcome
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/21 04:55 PM
6

I would say it is an opportunity to be gracious. It obviously means something to him. Talk to him about what it means to him, accept it with excitement. Things may change with how long he waits to propose, but being dismissive of a romantic gesture that is significant to him will not get you your goal. If he now proposed you would wonder whether it was to appease you. When it comes to gifts, always give him the benefit of the doubt and receive well
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/21 10:24 AM
4

Trust the judgment of those around you. I never realised at the time either
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 06:59 PM
38

I would imagine it is being gentle, tolerant, quick to forgive, having his back, not naggy/bitchy, can cook and manage domestic matters, listens to her man when he wants to talk, resilient against life's big challenges, flexible, happy and child like. Physically attractive (though for RMV I guess this is physically attractive to him personally). I am well past worrying about my SMV now (38 and with my husband since we were teens), so do take my opinions with a grain of salt.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 05:25 PM
4

Start January at a lower weight than I started December
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 04:38 PM
4

I am a flirty drunk, to the point it has pissed off my husband before. I dont drink in public anymore, it's not worth it for me.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 04:38 PM
2

Words of affirmation is my love language. Acts of service is his. He shows me a lot of love through acts of service, but I do long for words of affirmation
/r/RedPillWives01/12/21 05:51 PM
2

That is wonderful, congratulations! Here is to a smooth and lovely 9 months :D
/r/RedPillWives01/12/21 04:06 PM
8

I have no idea who he really is or about the situation, but as a mum of an autistic kid this would grate me. But people do always go on about a healthy baby generally when someone gives birth, so it would be down to the individual circumstances whether it is malicious. The fall out from it will certainly affect both children though, which should be the primary concern.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/21 12:00 PM
5

Smart plugs and bulbs for me. It's so practical to know everything is switched off and to control it when I am out. Also our echo dots for music, radio and asking questions. However, what I desperately want for xmas is my husband to write me a romantic letter. Oh, and a kobo e-reader.
/r/RedPillWives01/12/21 11:56 AM
2

Is an RP man what you want? Chasing the label may not serve you well, and its generally recommended to look for a man with a mix of "alpha" and "beta" traits. Taking some time to heal and get things sorted for you and your children is important too, it's a big transition for them.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/21 01:37 PM
1

I agree. They talk far too much about women to NGAF about women.
/r/RedPillWives29/11/21 01:30 PM
1

I haven't read surrendered wife, but I have read proper care. I follow Darling Academy but I haven't read her books. Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWives29/11/21 01:30 PM
2

What can I read that will help me be more feminine and soft? I've already read Fascinating Womanhood. I am struggling to implement the changes I want to make, and my emotions manifest in negative, masculine behaviours.
/r/RedPillWives28/11/21 10:40 AM
3

In what way? As in whether RPW could be used as a toolbox to pull a MGTOW off his course? Honestly, MGTOW men are best left to it with a hope that they will find happiness solo. We aren't here to "reform" them, and even if we could I think there would always be a high chance they would fall back into those ways of thinking if you weren't perfect.
/r/RedPillWives28/11/21 10:38 AM
2

Have you been hyper-critical in the past and spoilt his efforts with negativity? That is what made mine less inclined to compliment me or plan. How about giving him options: "I would like to do X, Y, or Z. All of those would be great, so I'd love you to choose one for us"?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/21 10:30 AM
1

I'm sure there are plenty of performative feminist men who do. I'm sure there are plenty of men who pretend to be more trad than they are to get laid too. Manipulative people gonna manipulate people.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/21 10:24 AM
6

My husband is great, takes care of me, works alongside me where it's needed, looks after our son without calling it babysitting. He is also very liberal (as I am), and definitely feminist (he has actively called out his male friends for behaving in inappropriate ways to women, doesn't count rape jokes as just "locker room banter", feels women aren't given equal pay and that women should be safe from rape and harassment in any public space regardless of inebriation and clothing. He believes toxic…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/21 01:22 PM
4

Being more gentle
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/21 01:13 PM
3

You could sh!t sandwich things. "I am lucky it's nothing serious, but I am feeling quite unwell at the moment. I am sure it will be better if I do XYZ". Positive, negative, positive.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/21 09:22 PM
6

Lots of marriages I know have ended horribly for the woman, or been filled with cheating and abuse. Sadly, people are not always good to each other, and being tied financially only makes that worse.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/21 09:17 PM
1

I'm sure it wasnt this difficult in previous years, but yes, everyone just buys what they want. Consumable gifts like food, wax melts, or eco-friendly bath stuff is my go to. Vouchers too I find helps.
/r/RedPillWives25/11/21 11:08 AM
2

Have you thought about making a little list with the prices on? That way they can pick something that suits their budget? Gifts is by far the most stressful bit! I never feel I have enough for my son, and dont have a clue about wider family. I often make something so at least it has time put into it even if it isnt valuable
/r/RedPillWives25/11/21 11:07 AM
1

I can definitely see the appeal of an at-home Christmas! We used to alternate days, xmas day with my family and boxing day with his, then swap around the following year. But 4 years ago my BIL was diagnosed with cancer (we're in our 30s), and we made the decision to spend his last few xmas days with him, and now with my SIL and their children since he has passed.
/r/RedPillWives25/11/21 11:04 AM
1

Gifts are my least favourite too. Ideally everyone would make a list with links and prices like a big wish list. I hate the stress over whether they will like it. Especially hard as my SIL lost her husband last year, and it's hard to buy anything that isnt too generic but also wont upset her
/r/RedPillWives24/11/21 07:37 PM
1

It isn't changing the subject when the balance of labour is the subject. Her needs are not lesser than his, and they should both be trying to make sure each other's needs are met
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 07:35 PM
1

I got shunned by my antenatal group during mat leave because they hated that I was going to be a SAHM when they were returning to work. What they didn't see was all the things we were economists on or going without to make it work, sacrifices they could but wouldn't make.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 11:22 AM
2

The problem is if he wants to do it his way he needs to inform the first officer of where the ship is going. A good Captain does not just shout to set sail and expect the ship to arrive at whatever port is in his mind. A good Captain does not just berate the first officer for getting to a different destination when no guidance is given. Leading is about more than just making the rules. It requires communicating the rules and guiding the others to be able to achieve the outcome. It doesnt seem li…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 11:18 AM
0

And women dont need that decompression? She is responsible 24/7 for the baby, including being the one to get up at night if needed. That constant vigilance grinds people down if there is no break.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 11:05 AM
1

And what shift length is being a full time parent, including possible night waking?
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 11:01 AM
4

I started RP subs in much the same way, out some odd train-wreck-gawping desire to see just how wrong it was. And I still think there's a lot of crap that floats around. But view it as a lens in which to look at your life and relationship, and then adjust it as needed, like at the opticians. Some of it improves my relationship, some of it would make me more neurotic.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 10:58 AM
2

I think if that works for them, great. I am flexible when it comes to who should be in charge of what when looking at other people's relationships. For us, a new freezer would be a very big purchase. To that end, we would be working together to find one that met both our requirements, though most likely my opinion would hold more sway because the home and food storage is on my paper rather than his. Also getting a car, it is on his paper, but we would look at it together, with his opinion holdin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 10:50 AM
1

Using a plain notebook, it's a simple system that allows you lots of freedom. Basic tutorials on YouTube are a great place to start
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 04:27 PM
2

Yeah I'm sure it would. I do bullet journal, I just need to get back into it
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 04:26 PM
2

I started trying to get pregnant aged 16. I can honestly say being young was not a miraculous preventer of infertility! I would definitely see your doctor about having some basic tests done for your peace of mind, start prenatal vitamins and concentrate on having enjoyable frequent sex (rather than to a schedule). Good luck
/r/RedPillWives18/11/21 04:26 PM
2

Bullet journaling, crocheting, decluttering, writing, and reading all help me
/r/RedPillWives17/11/21 06:43 PM
5

I have been losing my way from what I want from myself. I haven't done a good job of taking care of myself. You know those silly makeover games there's always adverts for? That's the sort of disaster I've been lately. I need to take baby steps to get back to something like being on track
/r/RedPillWives17/11/21 01:07 PM
4

What are you doing that fills you, not drains you?
/r/RedPillWives17/11/21 01:02 PM
1

Probably not for about six months. Call in all the support you can to get that sleep. Theres a reason lack of sleep is used as a torture method! Also, get assessed by your doctor. It is hard going and we should be more honest about how early babyhood is hard work
/r/RedPillWives09/11/21 09:21 AM
1

Yep that's about where I am, aside from being a SAHM
/r/RedPillWives10/10/21 08:27 AM
28

Is the point that she is kneeling submissive to receive the engagement ring? It doesnt really make me feel anything tbh
/r/RedPillWives08/10/21 11:55 AM
5

My husband is changing jobs, which hopefully will reduce his stress. I'm finding a strong disconnect between my views on world stuff and other people's when being in traditional/rp/femininity spaces, and it makes it hard to participate. It's like my views are too traditional for my mainstream friends, and too progressive for trad/rp/femininity spaces.
/r/RedPillWives07/10/21 09:24 PM
2

Their immune systems are more vulnerable now from less exposure to minor viruses and bacteria whilst being in lockdown, so theres more sniffles and tummy bugs around
/r/RedPillWives07/10/21 09:21 PM
3

If he doesn't want a child, you need to respect that, just as if he wanted one and you didn't. The only thing that comes from pushing through someone's boundaries is resentment. The loss of income and the extra pressure on him is likely to grate on him. I'm the same age as you and honestly the additional risks of complications was what made us give up on having a second when it hadn't happened but the time I was 35. It is hard when siblings have babies if you're wanting more. Can you take a more…
/r/RedPillWives04/10/21 08:35 AM
1

Awww that's sweet. All you can do is keep trying :)
/r/RedPillWives28/09/21 11:39 AM
2

I was wondering how you were getting on, this sounds tough
/r/RedPillWives28/09/21 10:13 AM
1

Changing jobs an option?
/r/RedPillWives16/09/21 05:50 PM
0

Most people do not have separate bathrooms, and most women I know have been expected to do picking up after men who are not picking up after themselves. It's not AMALT, it's a lot of men are like that. This is why so much is said about division of labour and mental load. It grates on women and respect is lost. Women dont want to feel like mommy, and picking up after someone does that. The rise in women living alone, and the lower rates of women remarrying, has a lot to do with the way they feel …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/09/21 04:02 PM
6

If you do not want her to work, you shouldn't complain when she gets half of everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 03:45 PM
7

I do not make myself happy. Both in what and who I am, but also in the fact I make no efforts at self-care. I tell myself internet time is self care, reading and writing is self care, but they arent, they are things I used to distract from living in the moment rather than encouraging it. I put off self-care to satisfy these itches because they give good brain chemicals. It's not good for me, yet I do not know how to stop, because I'm almost afraid to face time without the good brain chemicals.
/r/RedPillWives15/09/21 03:42 PM
-5

Not all men are messy and lazy, obviously. But ask the majority of women what most annoys them about their partners and it will be something about him not cleaning up after himself. We clean up after children, not men who do not do the bare minimum.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/09/21 01:11 PM
1

Awwwwwwww!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:30 PM
2

Because you dont know it will be peaceful. Look at Covid deaths, or cancer deaths. Look at all the suffering and pain you might endure, and the pain your loved ones will endure without you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 11:25 AM
2

Agreed. I think there's a huge difference between this childlike joy and childish behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 10:30 AM
2

Loooooove this. Imagine thinking men shouldn't be allowed to enjoy things and be tender with animals! These guys are cute as hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 10:25 AM
2

Yes, frequently. Gives you so many options.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 10:17 AM
1

I know what you mean. Its disturbing to see how easily people throw away partners.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 09:10 AM
8

So I guess my question is when the hell did men become the gold standard? When they had full control of the money, politics, and religion. When they had all the power. Men made being men the gold standard, and men benefited from that historically. Women now want that power and benefit. Of course they will fill the mold of "success" to achieve those outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 09:08 AM
-2

It bothers us because leaving underwear on the floor, crumbs on cupboards, and a ring of shaving foam in the sink implies childishness and incompetence. And those two traits are a major turn off for women. Men who own their shit are hot, men who leave it around and expect us to be their mommies are not. Feeling like a mommy and feeling like a fun, flirty wife/GF are not compatible with each other. I would actually suggest that women may have more of a madonna/whore issue, but in how we respond t…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/09/21 08:51 AM
2

Your baby is young and you are still recovering. Focus should be on a healthy, well-rounded diet with lots of fresh fruit and veg. Get exercise but do not push too hard. Breastfeeding will take some of the calories off. But what is important is you being healthy for your baby.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 10:45 PM
3

Its simple. You're paying for food, not for sex. Noone is obligated to sleep with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 10:10 PM
1

As in not in any bedroom setting or part of foreplay.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/09/21 08:17 PM
2

It's very sad. I got really lucky with a husband who was attracted to me despite all my glaring imperfections, and in return he has had 20+ years of loyalty
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 04:37 PM
2

Bi woman but I can simultaneously do both admiring and envious/jealous. It makes things very complicated!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 04:35 PM
1

An Otter
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 12:02 PM
4

How old is your baby?
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 11:53 AM
2

Anxiety issues. Possibly autism too though the diagnosis route here in the UK is insanely long for adults so I dont see the point in pursuing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 10:39 AM
1

Sadly yes. Despite my best intentions, I keep coming back.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:48 AM
1

Ugh yuck. I'm sure him having money is awesome, but using it to pull women is gross. I would be embarrassed by a man doing that. Financial status is private.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:38 AM
5

The sappy shit is what you get. Plus loyalty, reduced STI risk, reduced accidental pregnancy risk (one woman can only get pregnant a few days each month, lots of women increases the chance each day is someone's fertile days). Companionship, having someone who has your back.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:30 AM
1

I think so yep
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:24 AM
9

She's young, slim, no obvious facial flaws. There is no way in hell she is a 2.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:24 AM
2

Extroversion 19, Emotional Stability 5, Agreeableness 56, Conscientiousness 12, Intellect 70. I'm an anxious, lazy introvert.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:22 AM
1

I agree women dont need those things. I've also never had either of the first two and it doesnt bother me
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:12 AM
1

It interrupts, but not in a "You feel X because of your uterus until you do Y" way. Because the feelings are just there no matter what you do, and you have no ability to allievate the effects. I suppose it would be similar to having an itch that you can't scratch to get rid of but still have to put ointment on multiple times a day just to manage it until it goes away.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:07 AM
1

I'm not sure. Biologically you can survive without sex. My husband's great grandma was a widow for 30 years before she died, she never had another partner as she still thought of herself as married. It didn't kill her not to have sex. If sex was a vital Need, people would drop dead in the streets frequently. However, I think it is right on the borderline between need and want, and some people sit slightly more one side than the other. Particularly those who feel loved through physical touch are …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:58 AM
1

I think it's no different to all the other pro-monetising, pro-discard sex culture. I don't necessarily agree with it all, or agree with it within certain limitations, but tbh I think its largely irrelevant and one famous singer will make no difference when the general cultural narrative is there anyhow.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:13 AM
3

You know all these women are someone else's daughter/sister/niece, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 08:08 AM
2

But does it come higher than looks/weight?
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 08:05 AM
8

It sounds like he is not in any rush to fully commit. Given what he has said, I would be mindful of not pushing him to clarify yet. "he felt he had to overexplain himself to her because he felt she was doubting him a lot" this particularly stood out. But it sounds like they're are possibly issues further than the commitment, namely that you arent getting the words of affirmation you need. Do you think perhaps you make have conflicting goals and styles at present?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/21 09:07 PM
5

Makes me glad to be happily settled down with someone who wants me regardless. I feel sorry for young women under so much pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:39 PM
8

What is his dating history?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/21 08:38 PM
2

Partner should get first refusal
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:41 PM
8

No, but I met my husband when I was 15.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:33 PM
1

I am well aware of the condition, having been diagnosed almost twenty years ago. Levels still fluctuate even when you're medicated, what is optimal for your well-being is often much narrower than the reference range. It's not a simple straightforward thing for many thyroid patients.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:14 PM
3

That's awesome then :D
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:48 PM
9

Shift work is hard going, and I can very much understand why he doesnt want to be running around doing dates also. How long have you been together?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/21 05:48 PM
1

It's much more complicated that that. You're massively tired if it's even slightly out of whack, and the search for energy often leads you to eating foods with quick bursts of energy from sugar. It makes it hard to find energy for exercise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:41 PM
1

Would be much easier if we were all put to sleep, I'm sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:39 PM
2

We know. This is no shock. Most fat people know how we got fat and the years of struggle we've had trying to get skinny, and often the eating disorders we developed on the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:38 PM
2

That hair... yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:36 PM
1

Number 2
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:35 PM
1

She is super cute, and I really like her :D
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:33 PM
1

I'm bi, but wow #7 is definitely the sort of girl I like!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:32 PM
3

Not a clue. I was married and hoping for a baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:27 PM
4

It's almost like they're creating a pair bond through frequently "having sex" with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:08 PM
4

Christian Grey is only popular because he is rich and miserable. If he was poor and miserable noone would be interested. He's also a crappy dom.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:05 PM
3

I'd be wondering more whether she is shy or whether she just has so many people message her that she doesnt bother with reaching out
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:04 PM
7

I cant watch videos of my husband and I having sex, it makes me really self-conscious. Best is solo videos of him with noise. Maybe something that could work for you? I think women are a lot more audio based than men
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 04:18 PM
3

Erotica doesn't have randomly patterned curtains in the background, or distracting tattoos/jewellery. Porn often ends up with me looking at random details rather than the sex. Plus, erotica has feelings and tension, not just flesh on flesh
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 04:13 PM
3

My first thought was "wasnt that only if it was done by text message?" Then I remembered that noone actually texts other people now, it's all WhatsApp and so on. Ugh, I am so old.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:19 PM
3

I dont mind it when my boiler breaks and it's someone else's problem though!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:18 PM
3

There's lots of potential factors; busy, shy, socially awkward. What happens if you don't text first, how long would the gap be?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:06 PM
2

I would say yes, it's about providing the majority of the financial income that is necessary to the basic provision of essential needs, but it's also being the person who is primarily going to have that role even if temporarily unemployed. It's the one with the biggest pressure to feed clothe and house the other family members. I would say it's also the provider of stability and security emotionally and physically
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:04 PM
3

Because we feel inferior and that he is actively wanting to have sex with a better woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:55 PM
2

I do think that it is something to be mindful of, for example look at the popularity of Bridgerton. Most men cannot live up to that level of romance/relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:48 PM
4

Ease of access, exposure at younger ages, lack of satisfaction with life in general due to the lack of opportunities for most the the younger generations to achieve the living standards of their parents/grandparents
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:47 PM
4

We hear them complain about being put in the friend zone, this would be an awesome use of being put there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:42 PM
15

Men "collect" women, women "compare" men. To us it feels like he is watching porn because the woman is younger/slimmer/prettier/sexier, and he'd rather orgasm to her than to us. I would hazard a guess that if you ask women whether they would also dislike him watching porn if he only viewed porn of them, they would be significantly less bothered.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:39 PM
3

Mine would be bothered, but only because it is completely out of character and I find porn generally boring. He wouldn't mind aside from that. He sends me things he thinks I might like fairly often, and we've occasionally had it on in the background. Erotica he definitely doesnt mind, and I've written some for him before, and vice versa. My ideal is cybersex with him as a mental turn on (do people even call it that nowadays?)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:36 PM
11

You can wear what you like and use whatever make up you like, providing it isnt to attract your man. That's only for nights out to attract other men, or so you feel "good about yourself" (which really means so you feel other people are impressed by you, or at the very least not judging you)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/09/21 12:44 PM
–

It's really unpleasant, isnt it?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:10 AM
12

I've definitely seen the latter. When I say I've only had sex with my husband and vice versa, because we got together in our teens, I always get comments of "dont you think you missed out?". Uh, no. I have someone who knows how to make love to me well, can read my reactions like a book, who I can trust with my body and soul. Why would I want sex with some random guy I dont even know who may have a ton of STDs? I do not get what is good about having sex with people I dont even know.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/09/21 11:04 AM
12

I've had that before. There's an awful lot of shaming if you just want to love your husband, boost his self-worth and make him happy. And dont ever dare mention anything like having a free use policy or giving spontaneous oral, because you will get labelled as being abused or a stepford wife.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/09/21 10:58 AM
4

Men should be allowed to show their feelings and not be looked down on for it. We're all human at the end of the day, and life does suck at times no matter your gender. I dont think women always realise the subtle power they have over a man that loves them (and it's not pussy).
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/09/21 10:56 AM
–

Thanks :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:42 AM
1

My BFs ex husband was a guy who seemed great, loved and wanted kids, loved her, devoted. They had the same values and goals. They got pregnant not long after marriage. Then he started being verbally and eventually physically abusive. She left him because she couldn't risk her daughter growing up with that. Generally they vet and the guys seem great. Once there's children involved it falls to bits. Occasionally they think he'll treat her better because he loves her. My sister married a guy who sl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:42 AM
–

It's unfair as hell. I'm a bi woman, and I haven't had any negativity around it (aside from my BIL asking my husband how I could possibly know I was bi!). It's never been an issue for me. My husband is also bisexual/heteroromantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:34 AM
–

Thank you for this :) I got lucky. My husband stood by me through 11 years of infertility that was entirely on my part. He said he would rather be with me and childless than have children with another woman. As it turned out, we eventually hit the Jackpot and have a child now.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:14 AM
–

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:12 AM
–

Yeah, I think it's a skill a lot of people would benefit from. I guess it comes from ego and low self-esteem?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:11 AM
–

I'm glad to hear that, it was a pretty horrific prospect
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:10 AM
0

No, I could try this at almost 40 and very overweight, I can promise all I would get is snide comments or ignored. Young slim pretty women get hit on, the rest of us dont.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:08 AM
–

This is the first reply where I've even known who they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:06 AM
–

When there's lots of cases and lots of vaxxed people, you'll see a lot of breakthroughs.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:04 AM
–

Same here. Myself and my fat friends are almost all happily married. The one who isnt left her husband because she wanted to explore BDSM and Polyamory and her husband didn't want that. She's now been innately relationship with a couple for two years and is very happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:01 AM
–

Nope, they tell you you are more than just your weight and that you shouldn't build your whole self-worth around your size. Which you shouldn't. People appearance isnt a reason to treat them like shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:00 AM
–

I think women file 70% of divorces because it's a Household Admin task and women do most of those anyway. I dont think it's that 70% are the ones choosing to end it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 09:58 AM
–

I avoid this by staying poor 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:38 AM
–

Trashy AF. Isnt the stat that men are 7x more likely to leave their sick partner than vice versa
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:36 AM
–

Do you wanna be with someone who likes that nonsense anyway? Twilight is dreadful. And I say that as someone who likes romances.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:34 AM
–

Couldn't care less. I only vaguely recognise him from memes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:33 AM
–

Gross. I would worry about any woman in a relationship with someone who thought that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:31 AM
–

What is the one underrated trait you value in the opposite sex? For me it has to be a man's ability to laugh at himself without getting angry/butthurt about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:30 AM
1

I agree with you, but I suspect you're going to inflame a lot of people with it!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:55 AM
1

But then follow it up by reading the critiques, and make a balanced judgement for yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:54 AM
5

8
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:52 AM
1

Agreed. Nice Guys are not the same as men who are nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:45 AM
1

Not a clue I'm afraid
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:33 AM
1

Sounds very plausible to me
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:27 PM
–

It's the pointy chin that I dont like I think
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:16 PM
–

Nope its all girl-on-girl, no men do the bad casual sex thing. Nuh uh, not once ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:12 PM
–

My 2nd was fine, 1st I was mostly just tired
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:09 PM
–

Sometimes you're just the ugly friend and have to get over it. I spent a lot of time as the ugly friend, never took it out on my gorgeous best friend though
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:08 PM
3

Sadly it is the norm in the broken up relationships I see, aside from my ex-BIL who paid well above the child support agency amount whilst he thought my sister might take him back if he kept asking her over and over, then once she finally got it through to him he dropped it to the bare minimum and stopped bothering with visitation to see his child because he had simply been using his kid as a method to still try to win my sister back. He would not even be paying if he wasnt in a profession where…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:43 PM
–

Play trashy games win trashy prizes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:06 PM
–

Not for me. Looks too childlike.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:02 PM
–

Worse. I think singlehood and plummeting birthrate will be the norm. I'm a bit of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:00 PM
4

Not my thing really. I can understand why some women like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:29 PM
–

I am not surprised that there's more women either into it or willing to experiment than outright hating it. You've had my answer already, but I am very okay with this. Making my guy multiple orgasm to the point of almost passing out is great :D
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:27 PM
0

They generally have a dial for intensity, so it can be pretty mild right at the bottom of the range
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:10 PM
1

I used to know a girl who couldn't orgasm. She was definitely not frigid, she was one of the most sexually minded girls I knew and was having plenty of sex. No matter what she tried it just wouldn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:05 PM
6

Get it in the right spot and many guys can use a wand to cum hands free :D
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:58 PM
4

I hadn't considered it as a death-grip preventor. I think that would be an excellent reason to be on board with fleshlight use (but I am on board with it anyhow)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:55 PM
6

My best friends ex did this, as well as quitting his job multiple time and working cash in hand. She's given up on ever getting him to pay for his 12 year old now.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:42 PM
8

I've always wondered about this. I think child support here is something like 15%. How much of his income is a married father paying each money for his family? A lot more than 15%!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:22 PM
2

I'm not a big fan of continual eye contact with people I dont know very well so walking side by side would be good to me. Nothing would stop you sitting somewhere too. I just dont get the obsession with expensive dinner dates. I would prefer something easier to escape from
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 03:31 PM
8

I think it was an interesting watch. I definitely am not into the hyper-muscled look, but the K-pop look is not my jam either. Masculine without trying too hard is what I like (facial hair is really high on my list). I'm bi and like my girls girly, my men manly, and not much inbetween. I will say that I am definitely not in the modern generation though, I was born in the early 80s
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 03:25 PM
1

They're missing out. It's a shame for men that they can't even enjoy their own bodies alone and harming noone because it gets looked down on. It doesnt have to be pegging, there's plenty of insertibles that can be used solo or with a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 03:09 PM
2

I think the only people who love guys who sleep with tons of women are other guys. I dont know any woman who finds a guy with a triple digit n-count appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 02:00 PM
5

Women should have better self-esteem than being really upset by being rejected by guys she's not even attached to
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/09/21 01:59 PM
2

Fingers aren't always quite long enough. I cant imagine being so worried about being perceived as gay that I would deny myself enjoyment.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:58 PM
5

I agree. What I have found for this is saying up front "what I am asking from you is listening and discussing, rather than problem solving" I have also taken things to my husband with "I am looking for reassurance and, rather than explanation"
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/21 10:53 AM
3

I do that. Generally women do it in conversation. I also didn't realise that people are religiously checking their up votes for whether people agree with them. Sometimes it's nice to know someone appreciated what you were saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:47 AM
4

The worst thing is I can't even tell is this is sarcasm at this point
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:40 AM
2

Maybe these men don't have an Individual Market Value? What is sexy to the majority is not sexy to all, and some of us are very attracted to men who aren't what society deems attractive. Just like how a piece of artwork can be thought of as not good by critics, yet it will be a piece that an individual loves and displays with pride. The aim should be to find your specific art lover, not chase the attention of all art critics
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:35 AM
2

But they arent. They are shouting about the unfairness. That is not how women's body positivity sprung up. That is based on promoting plus size bodies as a positive, for example the Dove campaign in the UK using bigger women, the bigger influencers, and women cheering each other on. If men could cheer on and stand up for their short friends, or come together with other short men and encourage them, they would have a better chance than just complaining about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:32 AM
3

Oh yeah, my husband of 22 years is totally gay eye rolls Plenty of non-gay men enjoy the feel of prostate stimulation. Theres no biological difference between the asses of straight men and gay men. Its not a button that only works if you feel attraction only to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 10:28 AM
2

Interesting. I've never seen anything for men's height positivity, though I'm seeing more plus size men positivity. But I dont hang out in MRA circles
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:07 AM
1

It took quite a while to achieve it in our house after years of play and exploration. I guess it doesnt work for all men, and we had figured we wouldn't ever manage it. Then we did :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:06 AM
2

Surely none of those are real?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:04 AM
2

Your loss :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 09:03 AM
1

That sounds awesome to me
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:57 AM
1

I would definitely do that. Bring your own coffee, go for a stroll, maybe take some wildlife/nature pics. I dont care about being fed, I want to learn about your world views and interests, not how you like your steak.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:56 AM
3

Depends on frequency, reasoning and intensity "Wear the red, I like how it hugs your ass" fine "You cant wear the red, it clings to your fat ass and makes you look like a wh*re" not fine
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:53 AM
1

We dont need tiktoks, we experience plenty of shaming from all over the internet, media and in person
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:42 AM
3

We arent unaware that the majority of people hate us. But going through life despising yourself only brings you misery. Short guys could have a body positivity movement for it too if they wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:41 AM
2

I'm 161.5, shorter than 52% of uk women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:37 AM
1

37F, 47th percentile
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:36 AM
7

I've had unattractive male friends before. It was always a constant effort of making it clear that just because I spent time with them and talked to them it was not that I fancied them. Once I got with my now husband they became joint friends. Their constant complaining about women not wanting them or bitching about their other uninterested female friends, or constant need for ego boosting became very wearing, and eventually we all drifted apart
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:32 AM
3

Its not about being unfaithful, I just find it a bit yucky. I also think hookup culture is quite gross too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:25 AM
2

It's a priority to me too. The idea of having sex with a high n-count man is deeply unappealing to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:23 AM
2

This is something that mattered to me when I lost my virginity. Now I'm approaching 40 if I was unlucky enough to have to date again a very low N count would be right near the top of my priorities list.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:22 AM
2

There's no nuance here, is there? Its impossible for some people to accept that someone can be unattractive on paper yet extremely attractive to their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 08:14 AM
15

This sounds exhausting! We're all emotional and hormonal to some degree but why would you make it part of your identity like that? Why would you advertise it, rather than working on being better able to manage yourself?!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/09/21 07:54 AM
3

I've been known to carry my womanizer starlet if we're going on a long car journey where I am the passenger
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:18 PM
3

I'm not sure mine would necessarily say "better", but that combination definitely blows his mind
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:17 PM
2

Prostate play is amazing. If you want your man to understand female-intensity or multiple orgasms, prostate play is the way to go :D
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:16 PM
2

I find it hard to keep a bullet vibe in the right spot whilst having sex, which is why we went to the Hitachi). Then the cable became a nuisance for position, so we went to rechargeable wand. And then I tried the womanizer starlet, which we love.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:11 PM
3

Have you tried the womanizer starlet? I see a lot of good stuff about satisfyers and I'm wondering about getting one
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:08 PM
1

It becomes hard to make any progress on a specific issue when there are tangents, even relevant ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:31 PM
1

Often it is because they want to discuss one point very narrowly, so Underfunding of DV hostels for women without children. They want to talk about the how, why and what to do of that specific situation. Derailing would be "what about the lack of funding for DV hostels with children?" or men's DV hostels, or underfunding in other sectors of public spending. It's widening the field of discussion, or taking it onto a different trajectory, or undermining the point with whataboutisms.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:00 PM
2

Mine had me stood crying in my kitchen over an article about the answer phone messages left by 9/11 victims
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:52 PM
2

INFP. I think we should have one for D&D alignment too
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:51 PM
1

I agree on the genetics. My family all have the same issue with high hip bones/short torso. The gap between my hip and bottom of my ribs is tiny. Even when I have starved myself to a normal weight, I do not get an hourglass shape, I end up straight, just as my mum and sisters do. I know women my size who carry the weight really well because they have a natural hourglass shape. Sadly, that is not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:33 PM
2

Both my sister in law and aunt were widowed last year, my SIL is in her early 30s. I know that any guy who eventually hopes to date her is going to really struggle because of how much she worshipped my BIL
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 07:25 PM
4

I take a step back from what I have been socialised into and ask myself whether I would want my son getting involved with certain sorts of women, or my husband if (god forbid) he was looking to remarry. Also, I have a sister who is a serious branch swinger and regularly rewrites her own recollections of her relationships to suit her current situation.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 07:23 PM
1

And they wont dote on you and baby you like your mum.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:19 PM
10

Having a bit of an odd day today with emotions all over the place. Even had a little cry reading an article about the phone calls made by those in the towers or on the planes to their spouses. I'm not generally that emotional, but that in combination with all the losses people have endured in the pandemic got me. Hope everyone else is doing okay
/r/RedPillWives11/09/21 05:15 PM
1

Ahh I see :)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:03 PM
4

Ahhh okay thank you. Might have been that I thought it sounded like something I wouldn't enjoy, cheating is not cool no matter how much someone wants to
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:02 PM
1

Are people taking HCQ/Ivermectin in part due to addiction, poverty or previous trauma? Am I missing a key part of the puzzle about why they are taking it?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:35 PM
5

Wouldn't you feel essentially like she's an alpha widow though? The last guy was someone she adored by can never have again. Wont she always be settling?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 02:33 PM
7

I think we so easily dismiss that men do have a tender side and can be damaged by women. Women have been told for so long that our strength comes from GirlBossing and Not Needing A Man that we forget that there's a strength in femininity that can hurt men who love us. I've noticed this a lot lately with the men around me. They can take jokes about themselves and ribbing from family/friends/acquaintances, but a joke about them made by a woman he loves will penetrate that armour and hit a tender s…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 02:32 PM
5

I can't imagine wanting to date a widower, I wouldn't like feeling like I was never as good as his first wife
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 02:27 PM
2

Maybe it's me then. Seeing people flirt with my husband or my husband flirt with them doesnt make me angry at him or dislike him, it just makes me possessive
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:26 PM
1

I haven't seen it, and I can't remember why I wasnt going to bother with it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:25 PM
2

Am old, can confirm ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:23 PM
2

It's the combination of lack of sex/attraction to her whilst still looking at other women that niggles her?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:22 PM
5

I can admit that it makes me insecure. For good reason too, because I am pushing 40, fat, and have never been pretty. I have however been a wife who stuck with him through many mental health struggles, lob loss, bankruptcy, a decade of infertile, and parental death. I don't stop him watching porn. He commonly flicks through it and will send me something if he thinks I may like it. I'm not much interested in porn myself. I am however completely available to him whenever he wants sex of any variet…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:19 PM
2

I have no idea who he is, but that is so sad about his wife. I cant imagine telling my husband to replace me if I die.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:11 PM
7

Jealousy manifests differently in men than in women, in what I see and read. Male jealousy comes with anger and resentment of the partner and the outsider, but female jealousy is more possessive of the partner and resentment of the stranger. It makes women want to draw their partner in and constrain them, but makes men want to push the partner away, almost with disgust. Would you agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:07 PM
3

Fitting in with peers, not being excluded, maintaining value within a group. It is very easy to be piled on by female friends if you dont conform. This is why I never mention certain things to mine (not believing HAES/ being anti-hookup culture in particular), and why I lost friends when I decided to be a stay at home mum rather than have a career (despite only working a shitty part time retail job I hated before maternity leave).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 02:02 PM
1

I think that finding a partner with similar values is important. My husband is mostly BP though appreciates some of the RP views. We talk frequently about sexual politics and behaviours we see in those around us. But really, what makes him a good husband is not the world view he subscribes to, but that he is a decent, kind and honourable man. I'm sure many of those exist on all parts of the RP/BP spectrum. Perhaps yes, there is something that draws abusers to spaces where disdain for women is ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 01:58 PM
6

That's awful. I am sorry you went through that. I hope the long term effects mentally arent too bad :(
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 01:46 PM
11

I never understand the Widows exception. Surely you will always feel in competition with the dead husband (who is never going to be remembered for all the not-great things he did, but as the guy she lost)?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 01:43 PM
10

I think when people says they want True Lust from a woman they mean they want a woman to be displaying lust in a male fashion, aggressively and overtly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 12:18 PM
7

I dont think fat people are generally trying to date skinny/fit, I reckon it's mostly a stereotype
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 11:22 AM
1

I saw something on FB about a gay guy and straight woman getting married?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 11:20 AM
1

My sister dated a guy with no social media. He also wouldn't let her meet his kids or visit his house for the 9 months they were together. Turns out he was still married and his wife had no clue. He avoided social media so he didn't get caught out by either woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 11:18 AM
2

I cant challenge that because it should be there, similarly what if one ends up with an STI
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 11:04 AM
15

I wouldn't go searching for approval here, it's not worth your time. I'm properly fat. It's been a lifelong battle for me. I'm also married to a guy I adore and who adores me, and we've been together more than two decades. The fat women I know are almost all in relationships. Sure, it makes dating harder, but out in the real world it's not as much of a hinderance as it's made out to be here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 10:56 AM
1

I didn't fall in love with a fat guy. I fell in love with a tall guy. But I dated guys from 5ft6 through to 6ft 3 as a teen before getting together with my 6ft1 husband.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 09:28 AM
3

It would bother me massively. I have to be someone's one and only
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 09:26 AM
2

Wow hadn't considered that but yeah
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 09:26 AM
3

Those arent the toys most women are using.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:19 AM
15

Yes! I wanted to say this, but no doubt less eloquently!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:18 AM
14

I would also bet that most women are using sex toys alongside PIV or during foreplay with their partners, rather than as an alternative to their partners or secretly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:16 AM
50

This makes far more sense. Warn her that you've been manipulated towards an accidental pregnancy in the past and therefore you won't have vaginal sex without a condom. If she starts to get funny about that or push really hard on it, you can take that as a sign. Don't rely on women for contraception, even if they arent baby-trapping you they can genuinely forget or be in the small percentage it fails for.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/09/21 08:18 AM
6

Ahhh! This makes a lot of sense. So do women hate men looking at other women because we feel we are being weighed up against the other woman (and probably found lacking), because we do that when we see attractive men?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 10:29 PM
1

That makes sense, thank you
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 08:55 PM
5

It's a big deal breaker for many
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 08:50 PM
23

The biggest bit I struggle with here is the idea that women would happily share a HVM because I dont know any women who would willingly share a man. Do I just have a particular circle with a particular mindset, or is this something other women feel? I wouldn't want a man I had to share even if he was Chaddy McChadface
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 07:57 PM
0

I would certainly be asking her why. It sounds manipulative to me, but it depends what it is. If it was buying a house, merging finances, having children, that's reasonable.
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 07:51 PM
6

I promise that wasn't the intention
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:21 PM
1

Have you asked any of the.women you know what stops them from outright saying No overtly? This isnt just something that would bother me, it's what I have heard from other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:57 PM
3

That wasnt my point at all. I dont want anyone getting raped, and the way consent is spoken about in this thread is concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:35 PM
4

I hadn't considered that. Not particularly symmetrical, I think? I've never looked at him and questioned it tbh!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:32 PM
3

Weird isnt it? My husband looked older than his age in his teens, and now in his forties looks younger
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:31 PM
1

No worries :)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:30 PM
2

Lol no. My account here isnt tied to any of my other accounts, there's no reason for me to tailor the truth. I just dont feel it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:07 PM
2

That would be interesting to see, a correlation of sexual success in the market place and yearly income bracket
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:01 PM
1

Just my experience as someone who both uses a suction based sex toy and also gets good oral.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:00 PM
3

If I ever have to use OLD (which I hope to god I never have to), I'm going to steal this for my profile.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/09/21 04:58 PM
7

Oh I am so describing myself as Rippled from now on.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/09/21 04:57 PM
1

Oh no my broke is like "can I scrape together rent this month?" Properly living hand to mouth and often struggling to manage that. Under 100k as broke?! That's crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:55 PM
2

Yes, why wouldn't I?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:54 PM
0

Yeah, I see what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:35 PM
5

Oh wow do I feel old now :p These things happen, I find it weird when I see secondary school kids who are all like 11+ and they look like little children to me. I think as you get older people look younger than you remember your peers looking at that age too
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:34 PM
2

Honestly that would make me laugh. I have a bizarre sense of humour. Is the theoretical guy someone I'd be attracted to (guessing so if I've gone to his house)?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:32 PM
1

Nope, I've seen it plenty of times. Its much the same as watching your partner get off by hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:30 PM
3

How broke are we talking? Most of the poorer people I know are working full time
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:27 PM
1

I suspect there's some jealousy mixed in there too
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:26 PM
1

They are, but it doesn't compare to a person doing it who is good at it becaus of the psychological and emotional aspects.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:24 PM
1

That makes a lot of sense. Also, female sexuality = good, male sexuality = bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:22 PM
12

Do women feel the same when they don’t get to have sex with those particular men (even when they are in a relationship with less attractive men)? No, I dont feel any desire to have sex with any man but my husband, even during ovulation. It never crosses my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:20 PM
1

I think you should do what makes you happy, and that making lunch is perfectly reasonable
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:16 PM
1

I think there should be some ball weighing experiments to answer these sorts of questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:08 PM
1

Definitely! Not so much now but in my twenties and early 30s it was like a proper physical yearning in my body. But I absolutely do not want another child.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:55 PM
1

Awwww this is so cute!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:48 PM
1

Absolutely yes, if the partner giving oral has enthusiasm and patience. The problem is most don't!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:43 PM
1

What is this female deathgrip idea based on? Are there studies?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:40 PM
0

Whyever not? A man uses porn in the morning and has an orgasm. An hour later, his wife is around and available for sex. Guy cant go again due to refractory period. Versus a woman who uses her sex toy and orgasms, her husband wants sex an hour later, no problem. A man's refractory period interferes with the availability of sex. If he has a porn habit, this will happen more and more often.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:40 PM
2

There's a huge "I'll be okay and fuck the rest of the population" attitude I've noticed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:28 PM
1

Our Gov't in the UK would have tried that if they thought they could get away with it. Let the bodies pile up, eh?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:26 PM
1

Nope, I dont think people should take HCQ or ivermectin until it is proven useful, at which point I think we should be treating people with the correct version and doses. I also think recreational drugs should be scientifically tested and then used appropriately and effectively. I'm definitely liberal. If HCQ and Ivermectin work once they've been tested, excellent. It's the random taking of medications just because some randos on the internet (or in the white house) say so that makes me judge th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:25 PM
3

No... but it's a very strong association.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:14 PM
2

This is beautiful but sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:13 PM
2

Because women frequently do not get orgasms from heterosexual sex. I would think part of it is because women are using them more during sex with partners. But also there was a big shift towards women's sexual independence around the time rabbit vibrators became a thing, and shows like Sex And The City capitalised on it. Its seen as a woman being empowered and independent, but men as being desperate. I'm not sure who is doing most of the judging, whether it is women or other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:12 PM
1

I'm married to one with one, though it doesnt see use unless we're using it together because I am always available to him :)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:09 PM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:08 PM
1

The more I read of this the more I think I would want to become an old cat lady if I ever (god forbid) lost my husband. Why are we forgetting that if a woman overtly says No she could easily get raped anyway or beaten, or murdered. One of the reasons women do not overtly refuse as the men in this thread say they should is out of fear of the consequences of saying No.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:07 PM
35

It's not new, we were all doing this in the nineties to look older and more mature. It's just that there's much much exposure to good techniques now. Girls have always sought to look more adult. My husband's cousin was heavily into make up tutorials from age 14, and along with developing early and being tall she was able to pass for 18. Also girls are hitting puberty early due to body weight and environmental factors, a girl at 14 can look more developed than some 17 year olds. You should always…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 02:53 PM
3

I've been leaning into the fear of uncertainty, which I know is what is at the root of it. It's a fear of change. He's been in his current workplace for 7 years and the job has good benefits despite being something he does not enjoy. He has wanted to leave for about four years, recently finding something he wants to retrain in. My gut reaction was fear that it would be something he hated even more, that we would lose the benefits of the current job, and he couldn't go back. I've taken a step bac…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 01:12 PM
1

They underestimate how much of a turn off "I'm really ugly and girls hate me" is! This is where I think having some frame is vital. Self-pity is so unattractive, way more than an ugly face or body. But a guy who is able to joke about it or has self-esteem based on other characteristics is going to be significantly more attractive than one who wallows in self-disgust.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:59 PM
0

See this proves that attractiveness is variable. I think she is gorgeous.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:56 PM
1

My husband and I have been together longer than many PPD posters have been alive. We're both very overweight, neither of us conventionally attractive, and adore each other. It's not impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:54 PM
1

I never go out. On occasion will go to the cinema with female family members. I haven't done pubs/clubs for well over a decade, and even then it was with my husband as well as friends. I think I've only done two girls night outs in my whole life. But I am 37, so old I guess. I've been with my husband since I was 15 so never had a wild phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:34 PM
11

Hasn't gotten old after 22 years either. I dont want a man who thinks I am interchangeable with any other woman, I want to be his one special girl. What we dont like is pressure to enter a relationship, and neediness that requires a lot of motherly attention to boost his self-worth
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:31 PM
4

Agreed. I'm so glad I dont have to date nowadays!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:22 PM
2

For example, in the UK you can not consent to physical harm, even if BDSM is your thing and previous partners will testify to that. Theres currently a manslaughter case under appeal because the sentence of 4 years for accidentally killing his girlfriend during rough sex might not be long enough, despite evidence she wanted to be choked and did it with other partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 12:15 PM
2

I've never bothered with it, but then I had already been married a long time before I started reading here, so FDS isnt relevant to me. Besides, I get enough anti-male viewpoints on my other social media!
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 09:49 AM
1

I can only say what it has brought to my husband, which is support, love, someone to come home to and have a child with, and someone who helped him find a reason to live at the times when his depression has been at its worst. But we have been lucky with each other and are both very committed. We're also pretty old!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 07:33 PM
1

Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 07:31 PM
1

None of my friends know I'm here, they would despise me for it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 06:21 PM
14

Or a woman comes along who does validate his interest and then the wife wonders why he's started an emotional affair
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 06:18 PM
8

My husband takes photos, as an amateur. I always make the time to look through them with him and tell him what I like and why, discuss the reasons he chose the angles or lighting etc. I also on occasion help him in his darkroom. I'm not much into film photography myself, but I like to step into his world and be interested in his hobby. At the end of the day, my opinion is important to him, not just of his hobby but of him as a person
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 06:13 PM
1

I think its wider than dating too. People as a whole seem to he struggling to find a purpose or happiness, and many of the old goals of getting into an enjoyable job, buying a house and raising a family are gone. I don't think things are going to go well for the next few generations when what is prized is owning stuff, binge watching Netflix and living alone never having to compromise or share a life with anyone.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 06:06 PM
1

Planning it the day before and setting an alarm to start cooking helps, plus finding a podcast or specific music to listen to can help.
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 04:22 PM
2

It's not a wonder at all. It was a disaster zone when I was in secondary school for the guys (I'm an early millennial), and I cant imagine the tinder generation are at all better off!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 04:21 PM
1

This is normal, puppies are cute but also like having a needy baby who is also a wild animal. I have frequently wished we hadn't gotten ours four years ago, and my mum who got a puppy last year has also really struggled with it. It does get better, but it is a long process.
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 01:26 PM
1

My friend does this, she has an incredibly clingy dog who cant bear to be in a room alone, so they send him to day care
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 01:23 PM
1

It's so easily done, isnt it?
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 01:22 PM
1

Very good :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 01:21 PM
6

How does this work when he is in a job he hates that is grinding him down, but he is struggling to find anything that is better, and your family cannot afford to take risks without possibly ending up homeless or bankrupt? What about when your praise for his value and skill feels to him like pressure to stay in a job he hates because you need the money, and it makes him feel worse?
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 01:14 PM
1

Women are still searching for the masculine feminine polarity in terms of physical traits, whilst not wanting that distinction on terms of work, pay, personal freedoms, sexual shaming
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 12:59 PM
1

Well damn, I haven't been trying that time and time again since I was a child.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 12:55 PM
7

Modern men like the availability of modern women, for temporary hookups and ONS (if they can get them). Once they've contributed to plenty of N counts, they still want lower N count women
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 12:53 PM
2

He's 6ft1, naturally broad-shouldered, but not fit. His weight has risen quite a lot beyond what he wants, and we're working on it together
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 12:52 PM
0

Losing weight isnt something most people find easy. It's also a very long process. So yeah, this is a quick and easy solution in the mean time
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/09/21 12:51 PM
3

Check out Five Love Languages, but I would bet he shows you love in other ways but that words of affirmation are how you feel most loved. Could you try making a gratitude list of the loving things he does for you? Not everyone expresses it verbally.
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 12:37 PM
2

I have been a SAHW for years, and the thought of working in a workplace is so unpleasant for me, I'm a complete homebody. My husband works shifts, so with me home full time it means we often have childfree mornings together. I have found covid really tough in terms of my anxiety, even with me being home
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 12:31 PM
1

Yes :)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 07:29 PM
3

Could that be because women were more likely in history to be with their offspring rather than off hunting or working out of the home and therefore higher risk if she could feel arousal for people she was nurturing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 07:01 PM
3

I think you're on to something there. We need to know that despite his present struggle he is still competent and able to weather the storm.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:33 PM
34

That is a definite factor, and it goes further than looks too. Women feel a big pressure to look good to peers and family. Take the amount of nagging that happens re: men not buying gifts for his family and the wife stepping in to fix it (so that people dont judge them), or nagging about his outfits (so people dont think he is a slob/lazy, and by extension her too).
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/09/21 06:28 PM
28

I didn't say it works!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/09/21 06:25 PM
2

Its spot on for the women I know who do it. Either childhood abuse or rape in their early dating life
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 06:21 PM
11

I have a friend in her early 30s who mostly did it for the self-esteem boost apparently, but being used and discarded for sex would not make me feel better about myself at all
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 06:18 PM
9

I agree. Having spoken to many female friends, it isnt that we hate seeing your emotions, it's that sometime they are delivered in a way that makes us feel like we have to take on a maternal role to a child. And that is something that is incompatible with feeling sexual attraction (there's likely bloody good biological reasons that women struggle to feel arousal to humans they feel maternal towards!) However, we will emotionally uphold a man who is open with his emotions and needs support provid…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:17 PM
6

Ahhh this makes sense! Thank you :D
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 06:04 PM
6

You dont deserve to be downvoted. Thank you for sharing
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 06:03 PM
83

As a short fat girl I think I can maybe answer that. It makes us feel like we look less fat comparatively when he is tall. Ideally, he's tall and well-built so we feel daintier. No woman likes to feel big it makes us feel masculine. Counterbalancing that comes with finding a tall, masculine man.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/09/21 06:00 PM
2

Wow, that is impressive ass-hattery. How the hell does he get away with it?!
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 04:14 PM
2

Probably most of my dating history would fall into this category. And I think people become much more attractive once you create a link with them emotionally too
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:05 PM
4

That's a nice mental image at the end there :D
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:03 PM
5

Yep, same here :)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:00 PM
2

Oh definitely agree with social media! It is all so neatly curated and does awful things to people's self-worth. My sister is one of those that shows off her 'Perfect Life' for validation, but those who see her real life know it's a load of tosh and just showing off. I have her hidden in my feed because it makes me feel crappy.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 03:57 PM
1

That sounds good :)
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 03:55 PM
5

School return today, I am home alone for the first time in ages. This is giving me time to work on managing my anxiety which has been getting worse of late, and also to think over some goals for the autumn. I want to get back into doing some crafting, but I find I think too much about what to do and then do nothing! Relationship-wise, things are okay, though we dont seem to be having much sex. I think this is mostly that we dont take the opportunity for spontaneous sex and by the time bedtime co…
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 12:35 PM
3

Awww that's lovely
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 09:18 AM
2

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/how-to-be-husband-material?utm_campaign=later-linkinbio-eviemagazine&utm_content=later-20385920&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkin.bio Found this as I was on IG and thought it might be relevant for you
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 08:49 AM
5

As am I, because I think there's a lot to be gained from the other side's experiences. Purple Pill Debate can be a useful place for that on the daily chat thread, it gives a wide range of opinions from all across the red/blue/male/female spectrums
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 08:48 AM
10

RP men will tell you not to listen to women on things like this, because we dont think like men and also aren't congruent.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 08:41 AM
4

It's very viable for people who love each other, are loyal, and enthusiastic about putting in the hard work of being two imperfect people in an imperfect world. It takes being flexible, forgiving, and faithful. It doesn't suit everyone, and I'm not going to try to convince you when it seems you already know if it is a good fit for you at present. Perhaps in time it will feel like a better fit, or you'll feel like you are more suited to it.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 08:38 AM
2

Hahaha OMG he doesnt work because he's a feminist?! That is so bonkers.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 07:41 AM
1

But then throughout history mothers have been the primary caregivers and with their babies many more hours a day than men. Perhaps that is why it is more an instinctual priority for us?
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 07:40 AM
1

So perhaps we have a fear that men are not competent/aware, or we think of them as less thoughtful about the small details and pre-planning
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 07:39 AM
3

I've never understood it. The risk of STD/accidental pregnancy and the sheer awkwardness of having sex with someone I have no bond with massively outweighs the reward of newness and excitement.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:54 AM
1

Oh this makes a lot of sense! I'll look into that book
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 06:53 AM
3

Ahh my husband and I sound a bit like the couple in that post. Happily married 18years and I find him more attractive than movie stars.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 06:42 AM
10

I would say weight does matter, but there's still plenty of things in the RP toolbox you can use if you're struggling to get a handle on your weight. Losing weight and keeping it off isnt easy, especially if you've been big a long time, but there are changes you can make today that will bear fruit very quickly whilst you're working on it. There's always the risk that women will feel they may as well do nothing if they're fat and just given up on everything else until they're (maybe, finally) at …
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 09:45 PM
4

Also in the No Casual Sex camp, you arent alone!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:58 PM
1

Thanks to for your interesting responses :)
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 07:55 PM
15

I can absolutely understand why a man who wants to be a father would do so alone now. Do you have a close network of mother/sisters/aunts/female relatives who could help provide that role. Children grow up in two male parent families, I cant see how a single father family would be much different in terms of role models
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/09/21 05:27 PM
3

The biggest thing I see in feminist circles is that having a man around increases the workload and many women who live alone are happier because they dont have someone to clean up after/socially manage. Perhaps it is the frustration of increased workload that is why there is nagging once people live together?
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 05:22 PM
0

Perhaps we have higher expectations and standards than they do? If we do, what do you think they are based on? Is it social pressure, or is it an instinct to live in a safe clean environment to protect the offspring?
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 05:18 PM
2

This is a view I had not considered. So we are controlling in order to make men stronger and better?
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 04:33 PM
10

That must have taken a lot of courage to put your cards on the table like that, I commend you for it. It definitely sounds like a refocusing of your energy would be helpful now, and I am glad you can see things to try like rereading the book and working on self-care. Do you listen to the podcasts?
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 02:59 PM
1

Ooops typo on my part. I've never lived alone. I am happy with my life. I simply want my son to be happy too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 02:51 PM
2

How are you faring, I've been thinking of you
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 02:44 PM
7

Someone's market value to the market and someone's market value to the individual can be very different. Just as with artwork, houses, cars etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:36 AM
7

Okay, I'm fine with that. I am just one woman with one lived experience. I can only tell you what my experience is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:35 AM
2

I've certainly heard that trope. Doesnt mean it's TRUE though
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:33 AM
1

I can imagine that is difficult, there's definitely a prejudice I've noticed in BDSM circles against sub men, and it's very unfair
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:32 AM
2

I am sexually submissive, mostly (with some switch tendancies). I don't watch porn because I don't get much out of it, that is not the reason I like submitting or roughness. I dont feel it is conditioned, I feel it just feels right to me. It brings me peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:30 AM
2

Most of the women I know are switches. Some of them have been known to have had long Domme phases, one of my close friends is very Domme with her current partner. I'm also switch and have been Domme in the past with my husband, but generally as I have grown older I have become more sub. I also think it depends a bit on how the dominance manifests. I know a lot more sensualist dommes than sadist dommes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:26 AM
4

But it's not. That "perfect guy" wouldn't be a perfect 10 for me. I dont care for well-defined at all, nor social status, and a very outgoing guy would drain the hell out of my introvert social battery.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:21 AM
7

Disagree. On paper neither me nor my husband are more than a 3 I would think. Regardless of that, I would choose him above any other man (or woman) on the planet because I find him very attractive. He is easily the hottest person to me personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:19 AM
8

That they are able to function as an adult (not criminals, drug dealers etc and are mentally/emotionally adult), are loyal and monogamous, taller than me (I do like tall men, but it isnt a deal breaker, and I'm only 5ft3). Make me laugh, are able to take jokes about themselves. Fairly emotionally resilient, and not abusive. Doesn't have to be conventionally attractive providing I am attracted. Intellectually curious (doesnt have to be smart but has to be interested in learning stuff). Not porn a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:10 AM
–

I would guess you got hit hard and early there so there's some herd immunity and therefore less infections than states that dodged more of it early?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 09:01 AM
120

Why are they always so angry? Do they not know you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/09/21 08:37 AM
1

He has two parents who love him, a safe home, loving wider family, food on the table and clothes on his back. He has support in school and is doing well. He is significantly better off than most children in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:30 AM
1

That's impossible for me to say, because I have been with my husband since I was 15 (I'm almost 38), so I've had to live alone
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:28 AM
8

Attractive people dont just disappear when you are married though. You will still see them and there can still be a pull towards them and a desire to flirt with them. The difference is is that you make a conscious effort and exert self-control, because the man you have is so valuable to you that you wouldn't do anything you would be breaking your partner's boundaries by doing. I'm curious how long you have been married for? Maybe this is something that comes after a super long time of marriage?
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 07:13 AM
1

Ahh thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:54 PM
1

I'm bi, I like masculine men and very feminine women. This is what I see in at least 50% of the bi women I know
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:53 PM
1

What's the 4th?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:47 PM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:35 PM
1

I agree that parental love is generally the only unconditional version, but many parents dont even manage that
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:17 PM
1

He's tall, but they also have very compatible personalities and values
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:13 PM
1

She loves him, they have kids together, and aside from finding it annoying, she is happy with her life. They're doing at least 80%, even those working full time
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:59 PM
3

Yes I would, and I would be completely honest about mine too
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:57 PM
2

It is, officially. That's the basis of where the tools come from (ideas of men and women being different and how to treat each other in a way that maximises success and happiness).
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 05:57 PM
1

The money will be debatable, but the height predictions say he'll be 5'10.5" (my husband is 6ft1 and I'm 5ft 3)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 05:55 PM
1

We don't split generally, though he does a lot of the car/home maintenance. But I am a SAHM and he works full time. They dont usually have established splits. My favourite one is the one where her husband is SAHD and doesn't cook, clean or do any laundry. Oh and both kids are in school. He just says he's not good at it
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:50 PM
1

Fair enough :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:47 PM
7

N-count is very important to me. I would be screwed if I had to date again as I am 38 with an N count of 1, as is my husband. I value committed sex and casual sex and its inherent risks is not something I find sexy at all
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:40 PM
1

He was imprisoned for it. He was actually married and had two children, but according to wikipedia became sexually estranged from his wife after the second was born
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:26 PM
1

You can search them though?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:20 PM
1

We cant all be the same, life would be very dull that way
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:20 PM
1

Oscar Wilde?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:48 PM
2

But maybe there's something personality-wise that ties between your attraction and the careers they are in?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:47 PM
2

I would envy the woman my partner was cheating on me with for whatever traits she had that lured him away, and I would hate her for them
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:46 PM
2

I'd like to see the sources you're working from for these stats please
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:45 PM
2

And have heard some of those husbands admit
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:45 PM
2

Yes! Like how they want low N-count but also pump and dump women. If you're all doing it, there's no low n-count women. You are all part of the picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:26 PM
1

Absolutely stunning!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:17 PM
1

I spend more time doing this than I would like too! What about if you browse logged out?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:16 PM
3

Plenty of reasons women are predisposed to being heavy and struggling to lose it though. I've been on a diet almost all my adult life and I've never managed to get to a healthy weight. Add in mental health factors too and it is just not going to happen for some fat women. Doesnt mean many wouldn't be great partners, just as many short guys would be great partners
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:12 PM
4

I still think its down to the attitude of short men. Confident short men who can take jokes about their height will do well, those who become bitchy about it won't. I know some guys 5ft4-5ft6 who are cool with their height, one is in his late forties and sleeping with a pretty 25 year old
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:10 PM
3

No, not in my experience. My friends' husbands will generally say they'll do it and either leave it until she eventually does it herself or make a crappy job of it so he doesn't get asked again
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:04 PM
2

They don't divide the chores. They have given up on things getting done without a lot of nagging and just do it themselves. I dont know any woman in real life who doesnt have gripes about division of household labour
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 12:03 PM
2

Because we as women must be allowed to make all the decisions about everything, always. Otherwise we are hideously oppressed and upholding the patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:52 AM
1

I really want to see it, but I'm not enthused by cinemas yet!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:49 AM
1

That's so sad, poor guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:46 AM
2

I love cats. I like men who like cats :) There's something about men having cats that implies they are gentle with the vulnerable
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:43 AM
2

In the hopes of stopping you having opinions and disagreeing with them, I guess. Clearly you hit a sensitive spot for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:41 AM
1

If it reduces rape, domestic abuse and sexual violence, fab. Let those who genuinely want relationships with other imperfect humans get on with it, and those who only want sex can have their robots. I would even be okay with them being given on prescription to those suffering with mental health and loneliness. I probably wouldn't own one though
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:40 AM
2

I wouldn't be able to resist talking to her just to find out. I dont talk to any of my ex-boyfriends though, despite my curiosity, because it wouldn't be pleasing to my husband
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:32 AM
2

Because it shows a lack of class, and also because of envy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:29 AM
2

Because it feels somehow personal to them, I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:27 AM
1

Maybe you have a Type?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:27 AM
2

I don't know any woman who that was a driving concern for
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:26 AM
1

It was likely he would have a low opinion on hetero marriage when he wouldn't have been allowed to get married as a gay man
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:25 AM
1

Then why do some couples stay together happily and remain attracted into their very old age? That should be impossible if women are wired for non-monogamy
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:24 AM
1

This sounds much more like it!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:19 AM
–

Everyone is going to chase what they are attracted to. Women have just done a much better job of building up their (and other women's) self-worth through body positivity. That means those who are less "desirable" have more confidence to pursue and expect men who are more "desirable". Dating is a buyer's market for women, and in a buyer's market there will always be pressure for the product to be better and better. Even if fat women drop their standards to accept men of equivalent attractiveness,…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 11:13 AM
3

It's not as simple as that. We definitely arent a homogeneous group! Personally I'm left/liberal British atheist, bisexual and definitely not what the majority of people would think of as attractive! Many of the women here are almost the complete opposite. Theres a range of views about all things, even including how correct RP is overall. What it mainly is is a set of tools and strategies to improve heterosexual relationships with husbands/boyfriends that we are either curious about or have foun…
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 11:04 AM
2

Glad your brother is improving
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 11:00 AM
3

My husband's cousin and her husband did the dance from pulp fiction
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 09:35 AM
1

Groups still arent running here due to covid, but I will look into it for the future
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:34 AM
2

There don't seem to be any support groups like that in my area (we're rural).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 07:10 AM
13

Awww. My stepdad took dancing lessons with my mum for their first dance. They kept it completely secret, and everyone had been joking about the there was no way he would be up for a dance at all. Then he swept her onto the dancefloor and waltzed her around with a choreographed dance they'd learnt in their classes and mouths dropped. It was so beautiful. I'm sure yours will be too :)
/r/RedPillWives06/09/21 07:08 AM
2

Yep, I agree that it's a different kettle of fish in thirties versus early twenties
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/21 08:19 PM
2

Something like Vasalgel
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:13 PM
6

Please do consult a physician I have been using condoms with my husband on and off for more than twenty years and I have never had this. The only negative effect was reduced sensation until he sized up appropriately for girth.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:10 PM
9

I would imagine the pharmaceutical birth control pill companies will lobby like hell to stop it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:06 PM
11

Awesome :D
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:59 PM
8

That's definitely what I would like him to learn
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:49 PM
-1

I'm seeing more and more of it for fat guys and beardless guys, and I run in very progressive/pro-bodypositivity circles. Men could do this for other men though. Body positivity will only be a woman thing if men don't participate
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:48 PM
33

Because avoiding pregnancy for them means wearing condoms or not having PIV. It's not pleasing and requires sacrifice. Until there is an easy male reversible contraceptive (something like Vasalgel), men will not want to sacrifice their pleasure for the slim chance of a conception or a child that is carried to term. So given that they dont want to make that sacrifice, or are willing to take a risk, it's easier to kick the ball into the long grass and try to avoid child support should there be con…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:39 PM
-1

Of all the short men I have known, only a few have had a great attitude about it. All of them were much hotter because of it. Most of them were not. By the law of averages, the shorter guy will not be likely to have a good attitude about it. Perhaps there needs to be a body positivity movement for men's height, and imbue shorter guys with extra confidence
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:33 PM
6

I know a lot of way below average guys with way below average girls living happily married. It happens plenty. Sadly, people here want way above their range of possibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:30 PM
9

I hope so. I just want him to not hate himself or his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:28 PM
3

This made me lol. I'm also in the same boat.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:24 PM
2

Short men who have confidence and aren't snappy about their height are hot. Sadly, it's very rare. In my experience it's the attitude not the height that causes the issue
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:23 PM
2

It gets more challenging once you add in pregnancy/kids :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/21 06:15 PM
1

I know, it's been on my radar for years for hubby. Likely I'll hit menopause first!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:14 PM
2

You would have full custody without the mother in the picture?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:14 PM
49

My son is going to struggle in the dating market because he is autistic. He is only 9, but struggles with social skills already. I will be imparting to him that romantic relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies, and that learning to be happy as an individual is important. I hope he will find value in his life that doesn't come from expecting super-attractive women to like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:03 PM
15

Vasalgel is the one I'd love to see work. 10 years of reversible male BCP, delivered by a quick injection into the vas deferens
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:58 PM
3

I'm curious now. If you accidentally got a woman pregnant who didn't want the child but she relented to not having an abortion because of your rights, what are you going to do with the baby?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:57 PM
2

I'm sorry, that's an awful thing to have happened. I wish the world was better at hearing the stories of abuse committed on boys :(
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:23 PM
4

On a daily basis, no actual harm. I have been lucky to have found the man I loved young and he is a good man. Also I avoided a lot of risk young by having a male protector (we started dating when I was 15). But I am still wary if I am out alone and there are men around because although most are not any threat at all, it only takes one to harm you. I never feel fully at ease alone around men. ETA: The only time I was sexually assaulted was by another woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:04 PM
21

Nope, I've seen many relationships still fall to bits with the Belly/Balls advice. It's not a guarantee. Plenty of men who are getting good sex and service are still cheating.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/21 02:50 PM
8

Ouch!
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 02:42 PM
6

OP has been doing these things for months though. This is a big breakthrough in getting some answers finally.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 02:41 PM
4

We will have to agree to disagree here. I have smelled unclean men and women, and I disagree that the women smell worse. Perhaps this is just a difference in the sexes as to how we perceive body odour and which bugs us more. Perhaps it is that women are more sensitive to smell across the board I dont think this is about women just hating on men/calling them losers.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 02:39 PM
7

No, I can definitely understand that. It's hard to be vulnerable after that.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 02:36 PM
27

If the worry is that he will lose interest once the novelty of pursuit wears off, marriage is not going to seem like a breeze. People lose the novelty. The aim is to have built something solid and necessary in the mean time. My husband and I lived together for 3 years before we married because I wasnt legally able to marry til 18 anyway, and then it took another year before we could afford it. We learnt a lot about tolerating each other's foibles in that time. Many poorer couples will not have t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/21 01:48 PM
7

I do feel from your posts like you do give a lot and that he seems hard to please. It's hard to accept his answer especially after so many years of being untruthful. You can only change you. You can't change who he is or how he feels. I think at least it gives you the knowledge that chasing him or having expectations that if he is less stressed from work, you behave nicer or keep things tidier he will then get in the mood are only costing you energy and not going to work on him. You can hopefull…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 12:40 PM
3

Which European countries?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:22 PM
9

Excellent points thank you. It makes me think of the rollercoaster fanatics who are always chasing the next newer, higher thrill
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 12:04 PM
4

As an undesirable woman (to all but my husband), pornsickness concerns me, but I don't think it is the reason undesirable women don't have men chasing them. I dont believe that men would be more attracted to me if there was no porn. However, I do think it can cause an awful lot of relationship destruction and has a massively detrimental affect on the expectations of men especially young teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 11:48 AM
3

Poor hygiene implies low motivation and mental health challenges. Both of these can be an indicator as to what being in a relationship with this person may be like. That is not to say either of those things should logically rule out a person you like, but poor hygiene is an indicator of personality/lifestyle far more than one of genetic compatibility. When vetting, hygiene is an important indicator for women. When in a relationship, it can be a point of friction and irritation for a cleaner part…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 11:41 AM
1

That's a lot of fingers. Gloves must be hard to find! ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 11:33 AM
5

It starts to look more and more like the aim is controlling people, rather than protecting fetuses.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 11:32 AM
2

These are all lovely!
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 11:27 AM
19

That is is okay be my feminine self and want traditional gender roles in my home. I am generally progressive and feel that people arent all happy with a traditional set up, so I've always had a big disconnect between what I instinctively want in my home versus the way things are done around me. I dont want to be a career woman, I certainly dont want to sleep with a new stranger every day, and I do like my husband providing for and protecting us.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/21 11:25 AM
13

This sounds so painful for you, I am sorry. Step one today is to be loving to yourself. If I makes you feel better, I am your height and heavier than your highest, so I fully empathise with the struggle. Many people do not find it easy to restrict and exercise, and emotional eating can be built in very young from childhood. You are not less worthy of love because of your weight. When it first became a problem with sex five years ago, what weight were you? I am curious about the eating-ice-cream-…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/21 11:14 AM
1

That is really gross, and I say that as someone who is firmly pro-choice. There should be access, but it is not something to celebrate :x
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 09:00 PM
1

I wonder if there's a cultural element to that. In the UK I dont know any pro-lifers who arent pro-life on religious grounds. One of whom got pregnant as a teen, chose to not terminate, married the father. He has turned out to be a not great husband or father, and she hasn't been happy with him for a long time. If it wasnt for her faith, she would have left him, or would not have continued the pregnancy at all. She admits that he was wrong for her and they shouldn't have ended up together
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:57 PM
5

They aren't. This last 18 months has proven that!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:54 PM
2

People underestimate the amount of tolerance you need to have of your partner's foibles and vice versa to make a LTR work. It is a lot. My husband and I have been together 22 years now, and I just dont think most people have the patience for each other once the initial brain chemicals wear off.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:46 PM
10

I think it's bonkers and is going to be ripped to shreds by activists. I am glad I don't live in America. The solution to unwanted pregnancies is stopping pregnancies before they happen. This law will not stop people having sex or aborting pregnancies, they'll find other ways, no matter how dangerous. Education and Contraception are much better options.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:40 PM
3

Only applies until the moment of birth when we can be sure that child isnt the second coming of a messiah.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:36 PM
5

Howdy Arabia is my favourite term so far :D
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:33 PM
0

Long term reversible contraception for men like Vasalgel would be very helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:19 PM
3

Oookay, I'm never going to understand men and porn I think!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/21 06:02 PM
3

Even if different is "disgusting"?
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/21 01:41 PM
1

So we tried having a triad relationship with a single female friend of ours a few years ago. It was an absolute disaster of jealousy, mental health issues, and friendship damage. I had an inkling that I was going to struggle with it, but tried to push through. Non-monogamy is not my thing. I dont have the sort of personality or mind that works for it. However, I respect people's rights to form relationships as they please. At a societal level I think institutions would struggle to keep up. I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:13 AM
3

I think a lot of women start out physically attracted in the early days, but as time goes on either their partner changes or the grind of living together and seeing less pleasant habits takes its toll, plus the excitement wears off. The way a person makes us feel affects how attractive we think they are. I would suggest Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel touches a lot on why women lose attraction when they are in a committed relationship. For me personally, I am still very attracted to my husba…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 08:10 AM
1

I remember I found it really helpful too :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/21 07:25 AM
26

You have a great resource already. Tell your mum you want to learn and have her teach you
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/21 07:24 AM
7

Therapy for you, and a talk with his doctor for him to get help with his drinking and underlying mental health?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 06:28 PM
2

A bit of both. RP: Men who start to own their shit can hugely improve their marriages (though I disagree that's because they become alphas!), and women who are more in touch with their gentler, less controlling femininity can do likewise BP: Women won't automatically branch swing when there's a better prospect available
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:08 PM
1

He can be protection AND cry when his best friend dies, he misses a job promotion, or just feels like crap about something. It's not either/or. However, the crux will come when he isn't generally competent or resilient. If she has to do too much pep talking or ego-stroking, like one would for a child, it becomes harder for her to stay in a wifely headspace and not a motherly one. And motherly headspace does not feel sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 05:39 PM
2

It's good he will support you in your decision. If your best friend or sister was asking this, what would you tell her?
/r/RedPillWives03/09/21 05:23 PM
3

I am so sorry you raced that prejudice and harassment, its unacceptable. I have also had a lot of covid-related anxiety which hasn't massively abated, and I've fallen out of the habits that were helping me cope. This post has been excellent at reminding me that I need to get back on it
/r/RedPillWives03/09/21 05:20 PM
2

Make a list of 20 self-care things and pick a couple to do each day. Until you're feeling better in yourself, it's hard to find motivation and discipline. Then work out what you can do easily that will have a big impact. This could be showering more often, or using nicer hair products, a very simple skin care routine. Focus on one impactful change and set an alarm to help you do it. Once you're on top of one you'll want to do more
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 05:16 PM
3

Can you try a lower dose of meds? I know what you mean about media resistance, my husband still struggles with being on prozac which he has been on for years. But if you need them to function, take them. I have anxiety too, I found CBT techniques and Stoicism helpful, but it may feel to you like one more job on the list, and you already have so much on your plate. I haven't got a lot of helpful advice except lean on your support network if you have one, and know that it's very understandable to …
/r/RedPillWives03/09/21 05:11 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/mdr62i/tradcon_is_rpw_but_rpw_is_not_tradcon Sorry, it took me time to find it as I couldn't remember the title
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 04:02 PM
1

Realistically you'd benefit more from professional advice, I'm not that sorted out myself!
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 03:55 PM
1

There's an excellent post about it, I will see if I can find it
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 03:38 PM
20

This doesnt play out when they are actively seeking out "disgusting" women in porn when there are hundreds of slimmer prettier and younger women in porn to choose from though. That isnt lack of options.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 03:34 PM
1

You've got this :)
/r/RedPillWives03/09/21 10:49 AM
3

It's a toolbox, not a lifestyle. It's just a different way of looking at the world of interpersonal relationships and trying to use those tools to have the life you want. I can promise you a lot of women here are not young, slim, and pretty. Many, especially the lurkers, will be women with their own concerns about their appearances. I know this because I'm almost a decade older than you and have never been anything other than very overweight even when I have starved myself. But I have learnt a l…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 10:34 AM
2

I think it could work. However I do wonder if many of us have accounts already that are pretty limited to just RPW/RPWi? My biggest source of shame comes not from my actions but from the judgement I feel I will get about my body/financial issues. I'm not sure I have anything much to confess that I would worry about sharing
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 10:25 AM
2

Therapy, stoicism and journaling. I would also consider looking into symptoms of female ASD/ADHD and speak to a professional if these fit you. I have a lot of traits like you do and I'm suspected neurodivergent.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 07:07 PM
12

They will get over it. I was 16 when I got engaged and had some very negative comments about being too young. 22 years later, we are still together. The marriages of most of those commenters fell to bits dramatically in the last two decades. Best thing to do is rise above it :)
/r/RedPillWives02/09/21 07:04 PM
1

Congratulations :D
/r/RedPillWives02/09/21 07:01 PM
30

I'm sorry, but it sounds like he was using you for sex
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 07:40 AM
3

They're either very lucky or not paying attention
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 08:33 AM
2

They look after older relatives more often, they can provide a more predictable environment for their special needs children, they are leaving more space in the workplace, serving on the PTA, doing charity work, babysitting for others
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 08:21 AM
43

I have found the complete opposite, the most nastiness has always come from women for me, generally not those with high powered careers but those who are having to work jobs they hate, or work because they aren't wanting to go without luxuries (both completely valid choices).
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 08:18 AM
1

I am a plant killer :/
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 05:39 PM
1

Meh. High anxiety means I'm struggling to do anything at all, which makes me more anxious about my failings as a wife and mother. Not good times.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:27 PM
1

Fingers crossed it passes easily for you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:26 PM
9

I agree. There's an awful lot of external stuff that is pulling women down, I dont think it is as simple as "they miss the kitchen". We're in a particularly tricky phase of the world right now that only seems to be getting worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 02:24 PM
5

Absolutely nothing, and it says a great deal about my headspace right now. My anxiety is very bad, to the point of thinking about medication for it. I am struggling to function and get motivated at all. It's not good. However, I have a list of To Reads- one is a historical romance from an author I love, another is non-fiction about managing anxiety. Watching-wise, I am liking the look of Nine Perfect Strangers on Amazon Prime. Listening I need to catch up with We Only Look Thin and the Empowered…
/r/RedPillWives31/08/21 01:44 PM
2

Oooh I love We Only Look Thin, I wonder if it was me lol
/r/RedPillWives31/08/21 01:40 PM
4

Absolutely it is. Look at the way teenage girls treat each other in friendship groups. Also crying on command to get their own way
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 03:13 PM
2

He's 9 years old now. Sometimes weird to think we were trying longer than we've had him still!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:56 PM
15

Sex to my husband is like verbal communication to me. If he decided after X time he was fed up of it and I could have that intimacy with someone else but he wasnt interested, it'd be very risky that I would be better fulfilled elsewhere. You need to figure out why you have lost interest in him, and whether you really want to risk him preferring another woman who does desire him. Edited to add: I've been with my husband 22 years. We have had bad patches where my libido was low, and it made him fe…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 08:53 PM
1

Don't sleep with them and add to their n-counts? Seriously though, I have no clue. And I have an N of 1, as does my husband. If I ever mention it I get a lot of "don't you feel you missed out" comments
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 05:11 PM
2

When weren't most women in the workforce in some capacity?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 05:05 PM
3

I'm sorry, it's awful. If it helps, I was told mine was so bad I would never conceive naturally. It took me 11 years, but I eventually did. I hope you get lucky
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 05:04 PM
1

No, not always. Sometimes you wait over a decade to actually get pregnant with it, and sometimes you never do. PCOS is an asshole and will contribute to weight issues, body hair issues, mental health issues, and eating issues. Oh and it will often screw your periods up royally. Would not recommend to a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 05:03 PM
3

He has a good point about the age gap. It's very hard to see at 17, but when you look back from 22 you will see it. I hope you can get some support from your loves ones to help you deal with the underlying causes of the obsession. Crushes are totally normal, but when its hurting you a lot it's time to ask for support from those around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 03:55 PM
2

My weight is really getting me down. I have always had serious issues with eating, and awful self-control. But I'm really fed up with it. I have lost weight in the past, but then I eat badly again and it all comes back. I have never been happy in my own body, and I have so far to go
/r/RedPillWives29/08/21 08:22 AM
2

Fingers crossed for him
/r/RedPillWives29/08/21 08:19 AM
34

My husband and I have discussed this at length. Women when they say they want men to be vulnerable/emotional means she wants him to be tender to her, children or animals, and to be vocal in his feelings of love, commitment and adoration. It doesn't mean she wants him to say he feels like he can't cope with work/life/social stuff or is afraid. She does not want to problem-solve or be a cheerleader for him emotionally like she would a child. In my experience, women lose respect and attraction real…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/08/21 09:52 AM
2

Amazing what a bot of alone time can do :)
/r/RedPillWives26/08/21 07:41 PM
2

Sounds promising. Sometimes it's so hard not to respond emotionally, isnt it?
/r/RedPillWives19/08/21 01:38 PM
3

It seems very unfair that he is saying you arent doing enough at home when he isnt doing enough at work to make it so you haven't been able to stop working yet. His part contribution to housework should be the same as your part contribution to the finances.
/r/RedPillWives17/08/21 12:51 PM
1

I dont think I could even make it as an attractive man!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 11:08 AM
1

Only 10? Lol Socially anxious, probably autistic, fat, almost 40, smart-mouth, think I'm funny but I'm not, can't drive, multiple health conditions, short-tempered, naturally messy, will steal all the duvet.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 11:03 AM
1

Interesting combination. What does that look like in practice, particularly values of family cohesion vs state support?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 10:58 AM
3

No, not just you. I've never met a woman who can be motherly with her male partner and not feel it a bit unpleasant and very unarousing
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 10:45 AM
1

It isnt. It feels very different to be motherly and wifely. Both are loving, but we love our children in a different way, because they are generally weaker and in need of being protected and are quite needy and reliant. It is very difficult to love on your spouse in the same way. Those traits of weakness, needy, unable to be resilient are not compatible with feeling sexual attraction for most women. We can be sweet and kind and gentle, but it's more challenging for a woman to nurture a childlike…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 10:44 AM
1

It'd be fascinating to find some stats on it :)
/r/RedPillWives05/08/21 12:40 PM
1

I dont think its readily available in the UK but I am hoping to get it when it is. I've always been fat, Ive been yoyo dieting since childhood and I'd love to finally manage to get to a healthy weight
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 12:39 PM
7

I think we can accept that men like variety whilst still having boundaries.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 06:35 PM
1

That's good :)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 03:34 PM
–

Yep, hyper-individualism has definitely had an impact
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 03:04 PM
–

what do you define as a miserable marriage? One where they are happier separate than together, verbal/physical abuse. what would the man need to do in order to make it a happy exciting marriage for you? Tell me that he loves me, desires me and treasures me. Makes an effort with kissing/groping outside the bedroom. Random fingering during the day, frequent sex with a variety of foreplay and positions. Looks after me emotionally, listens when I talk, makes me laugh, loves his children. Is loyal an…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 03:02 PM
1

Which hormone therapies?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:46 PM
1

Do you have any concerns that you may find it more difficult to bond or be satisfied with just one sexual partner because of how many women you've slept with?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:29 PM
3

Ravishment fantasy isnt the same as rape fantasy. Ravishment is usually where there are cultural/practical reasons why she shouldn't be having sex with him but secretly desires to and he takes the control and the passion is too strong. It's not a guy she doesn't have any attraction to, generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:26 PM
6

I have a cold, and I am a massive baby when I feel poorly. Almost certain it's not covid, but goes to show how easy it is to pick up anything at the mo.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:30 PM
1

Its excellent that its going well for you.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:28 PM
-2

But we are constantly told that a woman with a "high value" man would share him because we care about having the best possible man. What this shows is that women, even RP women who are familiar with the principles of men desiring variety and women desiring quality, will not compromise on the point of letting her man screw other women because he ticks the other "high value" boxes. It's an unachievable goal.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:27 PM
4

Not a chance. Monogamy is a deal breaker for me.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:20 PM
6

It isnt true because we have our lived experiences that confirm we wouldn't leave.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:17 PM
2

I wouldn't leave him for anyone. Despite not meeting all of those conditions above, he is perfect for me. He is my soul mate and we have an irreplaceable bond.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:16 PM
5

Having sort of been there, done that, I can confirm. We had a semi-relationship with another women as a triad (I am bi so that made sense, but only engaging in sexual activities as a threesome). I can honestly say it did huge damage to my self-esteem and well-being, to the point that we ended it never to be repeated. I do not have the wiring to share. My husband being attractive enough to get other women was in no way arousing for me.
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:15 PM
1

Polygamy. Non-consensual non-monogamy. Swinging is consensual, so not the same imho
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:10 PM
7

Wow, bless you, this sounds so hard. I'm sorry you've been put in that position
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 12:09 PM
11

Given that I've never used tinder, I find it fascinating the way women portray themselves there and the responses. I dont agree with everything I read here, but it does make me think. I am late 30s, but have been happily with the same man since I was a teen, no failed-CC rider.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/08/21 12:02 PM
8

I pulled those numbers because they're the ones bandied around the RP subs as what women's expectations are, that's all
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 08:11 PM
0

Oneitis is almost always going to be part of our female strategy, but I think it's how it is expressed that makes the difference between her loving it and being repulsed by it. The difference is in how childishly it is expressed. Nothing is less arousing than a man behaving in a childish manner.
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 07:31 PM
0

And this is precisely why this place is geared to advice BY and FOR women, not TRP spouting.
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 07:26 PM
1

How's it all going now?
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 07:20 PM
2

I have a husband with oneitis, as I do for him. I'm good with that. I wouldn't want him being happy to toss me aside for any other woman.
/r/RedPillWives03/08/21 09:57 AM
5

Well-written post :) For me personally, I wouldn't say I count myself as a RP woman as an identity. I see it as a toolbox, and take and leave what suits me. For me, a RP man would be too much alpha, and tbh my husband grew up in a very Female-dominated unpleasant environment. To the point that he was quite suspicious of women across the board. I am glad that he has softened from that innate hard distrust. Loyalty and monogamy are hard limits for me. Nothing loses value to me quicker than someone…
/r/RedPillWives02/08/21 08:58 PM
5

Absolutely think women need oneitis for their man too. When disasters happen in your lives, you need to be stuck on each other 100% to get through them
/r/RedPillWives02/08/21 08:49 PM
10

We want our men to have oneitis. Your strategy is not our strategy.
/r/RedPillWives02/08/21 04:37 PM
14

Cheating is a massive problem across the whole spectrum of men-women and RP-BP. Vetting is the only solution, and having very firm boundaries with your spouse. RP men aren't generally ideal partners for RP women, because their emphasis on their individual freedoms won't gel well with women who are seeking security above all else. For example, being willing to just walk away from their wives and children. That isn't something women want.
/r/RedPillWives02/08/21 08:28 AM
7

Seven brides for seven brothers. But tbh many pre-1970s movies are good
/r/RedPillWives01/08/21 03:09 PM
3

Well done! These things often feel impossible to do, don't they?
/r/RedPillWives01/08/21 08:32 AM
1

The LL
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 05:58 PM
6

I know a girl like this, she had history of having been abused as a child and raped several times as an adult. It was like a coping mechanism for her
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 05:17 PM
3

No, I think my principles guide me, not my entertainment choices. I watched SATC a lot as a teen, as well as all manner of things like dawson's creek with lots of boyfriend changing. I can enjoy shows, movies and books without having to copy that behaviour in my life.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 05:13 PM
–

Time to go. He is still in love with his ex.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 05:08 PM
5

Because most don't go again straight away, and for those women who can orgasm from PIV it isnt long enough to. I'm fine with it providing I have already had plenty of orgasms by the time PIV starts, but if it's going to just be 30 seconds of thrusting with no pleasuring for me, it's not going to be wonderful
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 12:47 PM
3

Too round and firm looks like trying too hard. Rectangular, pert rather than particularly firm. David's looks just right to me
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 12:42 PM
5

No the best way is to work on yourselves and your relationship, game each other outside the bedroom, push your sexual boundaries, and keep it fun. Married sex can be amazing, but it takes both parties, a lot of understanding, and working for a mutual goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 11:45 AM
1

Polycystic ovary syndrome is a nightmare for male pattern baldness due to higher testosterone levels
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 10:01 PM
3

Peel suggests creating some distance in the relationship by having separate hobbies and interests so there's a sense of separateness
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 09:48 PM
8

Having fixed a dead bedroom myself, I can confirm this!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:34 AM
25

Women want to feel sexual tension and excitement. When you're married, this can seem like a long way in the past. You've seen each other sick, washed each other's dirty underwear, seen all their bad habits. You've heard all of each other's funny childhood stories. You've had a lot of sex. That new thrill of pursuit has gone. It takes a lot of work to keep it going. Many marriages don't ever get it back. Sometimes RP works, and I think it's because the changes that are made make things feel newer…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:31 AM
3

You may like the We Only Look Thin podcast. It's about weight loss but also a bit nerdy too, which is one of the reasons I enjoy it
/r/RedPillWives27/07/21 08:24 AM
–

Oh no, he definitely does not want to. I've obviously phrased that badly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 07:50 PM
4

Rant away, history is my jam :D
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 07:11 PM
1

I generally don't enjoy superhero stuff but we watched the whole series in a couple of days
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 03:40 PM
4

Totally agree. For example, SAHWs. This was rare as hell poor women have always had to work, either in in-home jobs like taking in other people's washing, being a nurse maid, or spinning/piecemeal work, or outside it doing work like cleaning or as servants. Many worked in their husband's businesses and were essential to that. The 1950s middle class fantasy was not available to most, and even then it looked very little like today's SAHWs with our pre-made foods, washing machines, dishwashers etc.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 03:39 PM
4

Reading: I've not long finished Fascinating Womanhood which I enjoyed at the beginning but found really preachy as time went on, especially in the chapters on sex! And as for not listening to rock music because it encourages impure thoughts... well. Fiction: I am currently reading Longbourn, which is about the servants in Pride And Prejudice and I am loving it. Non-fiction: I am about to start a book about Managing Anxiety, though mine has been so much better since I stopped trying to fight agai…
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 01:48 PM
1

My husband loves NCIS. I must confess to a bit of a Gibbs crush, despite the fact that I dont fond him particularly physically appealing. He has that typical broodiness that makes you just want to bring light and happiness to him.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 01:38 PM
3

We enjoyed Wandavision. We rarely watch stuff together though.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 01:36 PM
8

Being expected to take advice about how to be a "high value woman" so I will have a successful relationship from men who pump and dump women really irks me. I've been with the same partner longer than some of you have been alive. Please come back with your judgments once you've had a multi-decade relationship that's still functioning.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:50 AM
1

I want a guy who isnt willing to nuke his family when it doesn't make him feelz good. I want a guy who can de-escalate a fight in public rather than have to wade in fists flying. I want a guy who is not expecting perfection. I want a guy who wont cheat. I want a guy who will share the work when needed. I want a guy who doesn't think rape jokes are funny. I want a guy who doesn't need the constant external stimulation a toddler does, and can just be quiet with me. I want a guy who can cry when hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:38 AM
2

Because their mums get fed up of waiting and just do it for them. Just as girlfriends and wives then do
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:10 AM
4

Nope, they don't. They aren't happy with men either, because men are porn addicted, dont keep themselves or their spaces clean, still laugh at rape jokes, walk out on the wives and children for other women etc
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:43 AM
3

That's sweet :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:29 AM
2

I got married at 19. We'd been together 3 years by then :) I'm almost 38 now
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 08:27 AM
1

I think people just want to be comfortable. They're tired of wires that pop out and stab them in the boob, or knickers that give wedgies. The time of sacrificing comfort for the idea of looking sexy all the time is over. Realistically, even in sexy underwear, the time it gets viewed and appreciated is far less than the time it has to be worn for.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 08:19 AM
8

It's not about when and with what age gap, it's about finding the right person. I can tell you I had never planned to be married at 19. My mum and my gran both married around that age and warned me not to. But life doesn't follow a plan, and I was madly in love and had a boyfriend I felt was my soulmate, so we took the leap. It was entirely the right call, we've been married 18.5 years and still going strong. Don't get so wrapped up in a time line that you aren't open to whatever awesome thing t…
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 08:08 AM
9

Noone is particularly valuable, at a societal level. The men you mention as valuable are a tiny fraction of men as a whole. Give it a hundred years and even most of them will be forgotten by the world. At best, you can be highly valuable to a small group of family and friends. But honestly, chasing this value is going to leave you permanently unsatisfied. It's not how the world works for most humans.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 08:03 AM
4

I didn't have years of schooling because in my last year of high school I got glandular fever and I struggled with my energy levels and attendance. When I started work it was in retail. The jobs were boring, low-paid, and full of constant drama and female colleagues squabbling. That sounds way more fulfilling than being at home with my child, right?
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 07:59 AM
3

I have essential medication I have to take with food, plus epilepsy which I cant be sure wouldn't be triggered by it. My doctor would definitely not approve of two days not eating. I am going to try IF again, but probably 18:6
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 12:15 AM
3

The orgasm gap is a big issue. You sound like a great partner to her :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 12:11 AM
3

I would expect him to keep it to himself, and have fallen in love with me even if he initially thought he could do better. It's not something I would recommend anyone telling their partner
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 12:10 AM
3

That was very interesting, thank you. I watched the whole video, though I didn't understand any of the biochemistry bits! This explains quite a lot about why my dieting rarely works well. I cut calories, but what I am generally doing is reducing portion sizes of other foods so I can still eat sugary crap. I eat a lot of the fat free/low fat versions of stuff. I need to look at how the fructose issue manifests in UK products as I dont recall ever seeing high fructose corn syrup in anything. This …
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 11:09 PM
2

I think part of the issue is that women are turning away not just from men, but from relationships. Generally, a relationship for a woman comes with work. It means adding in a whole extra person's worth of domestic duties, as well as the planning and organising of schedules, recreation, wider family. Society's expectations are still that a woman will do all the domestic chores that were expected of her in the past, as well as now having to work outside of the home full time. Women remarry less o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 08:46 PM
1

They're also the ones who need longer and better sex. When the spark starts to flag and sex becomes a five minute chore, it's hard for women to stay enthusiastic when they are often not getting orgasms from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 08:34 PM
1

That's really sad
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 07:28 PM
2

So what is the solution? Is it cutting all processed foods and eating Keto? I tried atkins donkeys years ago, it was really difficult to stick to for me.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 07:27 PM
1

Even the male losers I know ended up paired up. Nit generally with high value women, but certainly settled down and having kids etc
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 07:11 PM
1

Absolutely. If anything I think he's hotter now than he was then due to hair, beard, and having filled out (he was tall and very skinny, I think his BMI had him right at the bottom of the normal catagory)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 07:10 PM
6

Awww :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 07:08 PM
4

Something about this seems so cute. It's like "keep talking like that and I'm going to marry the hell out of you!"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:58 PM
2

No, though my husband would like me to get one. I have one on my inner forearm and one like a charm bracelet around my ankle
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:54 PM
1

He sounds like a husband who doesn't care to let strangers ogle his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:49 PM
2

No thank you. I already know I would be taunted like hell for my weight, so I'm good.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:48 PM
3

It ignores the fact that income is not guaranteed. My sibling in-laws had a combined income of £85k at one point. Then he got terminal cancer, she had to become his carer. Within a year they went from £85k to only getting social security benefits. I spent years envying their wealth. It really taught me that what is truly valuable is your time together, not money. Life can turn on a dime.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:46 PM
5

B is ruder, it sounds arrogant. The subtext is "I get attention from only people I dont think are good enough for me".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:43 PM
3

Oh no! Fingers crossed he comes to his senses before accidentally pushing her away
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:40 PM
1

I dont date because I'm married, but I definitely would. My husband was a lot smaller when we met, but I still love him and want him :D
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:39 PM
5

And if they had a crappy, unauditioned actor in the past that ruined the whole movie, they don't get to audition now to stop themselves getting into the same problems. Once an unauditioning director, always an unautioning director. ADALT.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:36 PM
7

I see RP as a toolbox. There's things there that help me achieve my goals, like developing my inner femininity, ways to interact with my husband that I use. But a lot of it doesn't fit for me. I don't believe that only a HVM can make a woman happy, especially where earnings are concerned. I don't believe that traditional gender roles need to return at a societal level where noone deviates from them, because I believe we all need to find what makes us happy. Generally my world view is more blue, …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:14 PM
9

It is. To be honest I find most of these spaces are. Doesn't matter how much you're trying to improve in other ways, you never make the grade here if you aren't slim. I try to focus in taking the bits from here that improve my life and leaving the rest
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 06:07 PM
6

Do you have stats for women loving marriage more than men? Why is that worse?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 05:18 PM
8

Agreed. We've done 18 of the most crazy months imaginable, losing out on time with loved ones, having to stay home etc. Many people are going to be struggling with their mental health right now. It's no wonder dating is going badly for many
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 05:10 PM
3

Testosterone drops off too, and erectile dysfunction increases. Yhe deadbedrooms sub isnt only full of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 05:06 PM
7

And this is precisely why a woman needs to vet hard before picking a man to marry. We know full well that a lot of men would cheat given the chance. So finding one that wont is crucial. A guy who is keen on casual sex and banging lots of women is a less good choice in the long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 05:02 PM
8

Because the obesity epidemic is not just women. There's plenty of fat men out there too.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 04:46 PM
3

Some of my friends and family have had very easy births. It seems to be luck of the draw really. But even if it isnt, you will come through it okay. If the anxiety is getting bad please do speak to your midwife for reassurance
/r/RedPillWives25/07/21 02:15 PM
6

I don't disagree. They're chasing the women with the highest market value then complaining they cant get they and its all because women are horrid and mean. Simultaneously they complain about women being fat, having made mistakes that she wants to move on from, single mums etc. Its almost like they expect women to compromise massively without them having to compromise at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 02:01 PM
4

They can prefer what they wish. It doesn't mean that other women aren't still valuable or worthy of finding themselves someone they like. It doesn't mean they should just give up because they aren't precisely what men supposedly want. Looks are one part of the wider puzzle. I know plenty of happily married big girls. I dont think that slim girls who are being picked up and dropped by men who only want them for casual sex is more of a success than being happily married. I guess it depends on how …
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 01:52 PM
3

One penis policy is always their ideal, isnt it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:34 PM
2

Yep I'd rather be alone than share.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:29 PM
3

Because monogamy is a deal breaker for me. Having tried a triad style poly situation before, I know I am too jealous and insecure for it to work, and it makes my mental health plummet. I dont want to share, at all. I couldn't give a crap if he was the hottest and richest guy on the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:27 PM
3

I think as well something that gets missed is that a woman who is your LTR who brings you happiness, understanding and peace over several decades stops being a 5/10 to you because you develop a special sort of appreciation for that person. It's an attraction that's much deeper than some silly market value. It's just like how you can have a sentimental item you treasure and enjoy that would be almost worthless to anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:23 PM
3

Why is that a problem? There's then plenty of children. Problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:17 PM
2

So find a non-feminist study. You selected the study you shared, noone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:16 PM
0

What percentage of women in their twenties have a BMI in the normal category? It wont be that many. Most men will have to settle for women outside that range.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:12 PM
8

I think this actually sums up a lot of the issues here. Everyone is wanting something exceptional. Happiness doesn't only come with having something perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:09 PM
–

What is the difference between hanging out and dating to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:01 PM
6

You didn't answer me. Are you married? We won't be getting divorced, so that isnt a concern of mine. Besides, I'm already post wall so I wouldn't be chasing all the hot young men even if I was having to date again. And a man who can't appreciate more than just a perfect body is going to be a dreadful husband into our 50s and 60s when we start both getting old and less attractive, not to mention if one of us got very sick. A good partnership is built on a lot more than just looks.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:56 PM
12

The styles will go where the demand is. Women generally are getting fed up with uncomfortable wires and wedgies. So as the plainer softer underwear gets bought more, the companies follow. There's a brand that's popular in the called Molke. It's not at all VS style, its aimed at comfort rather than sexiness. My friends who used to love places like La Senza and Ann Summers have now started shifting towards these more comfort-friendly styles. I guess this is what happened with things like corsets, …
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:52 PM
4

People care because it was never about the product, I guess. After all, it wont stop slim women from buying the underwear, its still going to be available. It was about parading around the barely dressed women. Now that the women arent as "sexy", suddenly everyone cares about the brand and what it means for society.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:46 PM
9

I'm not sure what you're expecting me to do about that? Do I need to stand in public with a sign saying "single women, dont be like me?"
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:36 PM
1

Yeah, I lived in a rural/coast town of less than 20k people
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:35 PM
2

I was dating his best friend, so the second time was the first day he got to speak to me alone, the first eay I was hanging off his best friend's arm and fawning over him
/r/RedPillWives25/07/21 12:34 PM
1

Entirely disagree. If she has sense, she will wait to be sure he's a decent human being as well
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:32 PM
–

How would you know until you dated them?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:31 PM
2

Noone likes them though
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:31 PM
–

She sounds like she needs some therapy
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:30 PM
–

Women arent allowed to have made stupid mistakes and try to improve themselves though? It seems bizarre that noone is supposed to mature and grow
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:29 PM
1

I meant in-person culture, rather than in media. Maybe where I lived was just really sheltered?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:27 PM
7

I am happily married. I don't need the sexual market place, but thanks anyhow. Are you married?
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:25 PM
3

No, generally we fat women know full well that the food industry is a big problem, along with poverty, poor mental health, current work-life balances. We certainly know society doesn't find us sexy, because we are told, relentlessly. I know plenty of body-positive women. All of them would be slim if they could. But diet cycling leads to higher weight overall, and almost noone who loses weight manages to keep it off. Our bodies do not realise we live in a world where food is everywhere, and that …
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:22 PM
8

Well damn, I haven't been trying to do that since I was a child. Why didn't I think of that? /s.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:13 PM
15

It's a waste of time. Their original customer base will not change, and fat women know the brand happily excluded them until it because profitable to accept them. There's a negative association for plus size women with VS, and a negative association will never be miraculously fixed and gain huge profits. Incidentally, the way in which plus size women are told they cannot be feminine and gentle and great wives and mums only pushes more women away from traditional femininity and increases feminism…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:13 PM
12

Noone wants to be heavier. Noone is looking at plus size models and wishing they were bigger. Give everyone a magic wand and they would be slim. Even my most committed body positive friends admit this. The challenges are a multitude, all stacked against being and staying slim. Guilting people over their size is not the magic wand.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 12:04 PM
3

So there's zero point in us plus sized women making any effort with our hair, clothes, makeup and personality because we're just hopeless cases? Amazing that I've been happily married for almost twenty years.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/21 11:59 AM
0

Are you talking about dentists now?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:11 PM
15

Romance readers like the emotional and sexual tension between the characters, where eventually her beauty and charm over-rides his strong masculine resistance and he falls for her. He's still strong, resilient, competent and protective, but he is also quietly tender, passionate and adoring. Basically, he goes from displaying some pretty obvious alpha traits to having a mix. Look at Mr Darcy, one of romantic literatures biggest heroes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:01 PM
–

This is so refreshing to hear! Fortunately I'm old and taken, but this is the sort of situation it would be for me if I had to date. I dont understand why anyone would want to give such access to a person they dont know, respect and trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 10:53 PM
–

Women should immediately sleep with men and not mess him around. Women should have low n-counts. How the hell is it supposed to be possible to do both?!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 10:48 PM
–

Mmhmm tall ships :D I love history, though socio-cultural rather than warfare
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 10:02 PM
–

What about if you've both agreed to exclusivity and are actively making plans to move in together?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 09:53 PM
–

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Traditionally the cost of sex is higher to us (pregnancy, risk of harm). Why would we not be more choosy?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 09:51 PM
2

Maybe they don't see their world view isn't held by the majority? Or maybe they feel they vote on single issues rather than agreeing with the general leaning of their party? I know a lot of people who vote conservative in the UK who don't think of themselves as anti-poor people, racist or homophobic, yet they still vote for people who express those view or stand on those platforms.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 09:28 PM
5

I think unless you are being clear that you have no intention of having more than just sex with them, and that you aren't really attracted to them that's basically just using them as a temporary depository. Maybe I'm just old and don't understand the rules of hookup culture, but it seems cruel to me. These girls arent any less deserving of finding a person who values them than thin girls. In fact some of the sweetest, kindest women I know are big girls. I would hate to think of any of them givin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 09:24 PM
1

In my experience from watching the couples around me the men start off perfectly keen on being good husbands and fathers, but seem to lose interest. I'd love to see the stats on why women end up as single mums.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:44 PM
1

Are you sure you do really want my thoughts though?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:42 PM
9

I'm very solidly lib/left and love being a SAHM. I wouldn't date a conservative man because I feel the choice to have a SAHM should be a choice made by both, not just expected. Also, I would want my husband and I to have the choice over ending a pregnancy if we had to. Plus, I want to make sure the poor are fed and housed and treated decently, and I think the richest should pay a fair share of tax, rather than dodging it. I would struggle to date a man who fundamentally disagreed with my values,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:33 PM
3

Entirely agree. If you're going to say it's okay for little kids to be allowed to starve, we are never going to work in a relationship. Our fundamental view of right and wrong is too different.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:21 PM
7

Political leaning is an expression of societal values. I would not be in a relationship with someone I didn't share the same values as.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:18 PM
1

Do you never feel bad about treating women who think you're genuinely attracted to them this way?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:14 PM
3

It doesn't. It has no effect on weight, it just increases people's depression. I first got fat shamed by my own father when I was 12. I've had it from friends, strangers, colleagues, boyfriends. I've tried losing weight, despite health challenges that make it very difficult. It always ends up with me going off the rails. I've tried meds, therapy, weight loss clubs, starving myself, supervision from doctors. I promise you that fat shaming is not a miraculous fix. I know most people look down on m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:12 PM
3

Nope. Most of us are well aware we're fat. There's a constant stream of people to remind us of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:07 PM
17

I can see prettyish features in a few of my pictures, but generally no, I know I am fat and not particularly pretty. But you know what? I have a husband who still looks at me like he wants to RIP my clothes off, we still enjoy sex, and whether I gain or lose weight I am always going to be his special girl, the one he has made his life and a child with. We're all going to get older and saggier and uglier, god willing. You get to a certain age and what you value shifts a bit. Youth and beauty are …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:04 PM
1

Agreed. I didn't assume men would just be using them until someone skinny came along. This sort of crap is why I would never been on board with hooking up.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:01 PM
3

It's very sad, I agree. You could miss out on what might be an amazing relationship from this fear. I will say though, if you are concerned about this now, getting into your forties and fifties with any partner is going to come with challenges. Saggy skin, wrinkles, stretch marks, they will all come eventually. But if you find someone that you adore, you learn to adapt to their changes and flaws. Something doesn't have to be perfectly beautiful to be adored.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:58 PM
1

So I have always been a big girl. When I met my now husband, I had just finished 8 weeks of starving myself to drop more than 40lbs. Not at all healthy. He had always been naturally slim, enjoyed mountain biking. My weight rebounded as soon as I stopped heavily restricting, and I soon weighed more than him. Yes, it made me self-conscious. But I think overall our SMVs balanced out ish (neither of us had a high SMV). We're both big now. If I was forced to date again, I would be avoiding very in sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:53 PM
21

Even the RP women's subs dont recommend dating those men
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:37 PM
1

I empathise. Mine is off work with a back issue right now, and I'm often having to say no to him carrying and lifting because I know he wants to serve me but it will make it worse. It's hard to have to take on that sort of role. Has he got plenty of input from his medical teams?
/r/RedPillWives24/07/21 06:37 PM
1

You sound really busy! Make sure you're getting some self-care
/r/RedPillWives24/07/21 06:35 PM
8

Helped my husband's sister and my nieces move house today. It's very sad because my brother in law died back in November aged just 36 from bowel cancer, leaving my two nieces plus my sister in law was 7 months pregnant when he died. Just awful to lose the love of your life so young. They had been together since they were teens. On a more cheerful note, today is the 22nd anniversary of my husband and I meeting for the first time. We didn't really get on 😆 however, meeting a second time a few days…
/r/RedPillWives24/07/21 06:29 PM
3

Make your own way. "Thanks for the offer but I always make my own way there on first dates, just to be on the safe side. I am really looking forward to seeing you"
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/21 06:17 AM
1

That is a good point!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:34 PM
1

Wow, that's awful!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:44 PM
5

The only reasons I could give are emotional and sentimental. There arent really logical arguments except innate biological drive. And even that isnt felt by everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:32 PM
1

Africa, the far and middle east I find. It's almost like they want more of certain babies and fewer of others...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:30 PM
3

People put off kids because they need financial stability before having them. Unfortunately, financial stability nowadays means two full time workers for the majority of jobs, and that doesn't work well with maternity leave or high childcare costs. Plus, let's be honest, as wonderful as children are, they are costly, steal your sleep, limit your freedom, and require a lot of attention for a couple of decades. I adore my son and wish I could have had a second child but entirely understand why peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:29 PM
10

Economic crisis will come long before low birth rates have an impact imo
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:23 PM
8

I live in coastal area in the UK, we're all priced out here by second homes or people moving to escape the cities. It's grim.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:22 PM
1

The birth rate for only the planned and wanted children would be absolutely tiny.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:15 PM
1

Who are the people who should be having the most kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:14 PM
4

I can respect that. I would have like to have had more children, but when I look at the world now I do think maybe only being able to have the one was a bit of a blessing in disguise. I dread to think what future generations are going to face
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:10 PM
1

I can only think of two women I know who don't have kids now that we're in our thirties. One is married and has tried for children for almost a decade, the other has serious learning disabilities and her parents dont want her having sexual relationships because her emotional age is around 13/14. Aside from that, even the quiet, fat or ugly girls from school all settled down with some guy and had kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:06 PM
14

I suspect we're about the same sort of age, I was 16 when we moved into the 21st century. Everyone was wanting to be in a relationship, get a house together etc. People who slept around were not cool, they were thought of as trashy, especially the girls. We were looking for Mr Right, not Mr Right Now. And even the really socially awkward lads at school had found some fairly equally matched girl to settle down with by their mid-twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:01 PM
1

People are becoming more individualistic, and having children is no longer seen as a crucial milestone to become an adult or as the only way to be happy
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:57 PM
2

It sounds miserable. I've never done it, I am too old for hookup culture to have been so normalised (I've been in the same relationship since 1999, longer than many people hooking up have even been alive 😆), so it's just unfathomable to me why anyone would want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:55 PM
1

Wow, that's so depressing
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:52 PM
3

Poorer pay--> less life satisfaction---> Chasing excitement/the next thing to give them happy brain chemicals?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:52 PM
1

If I was homeless I'm sure I'd have a drinking problem to cope with the misery. I dont give them money because I think they might be a good person, it's because I want to be a good person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:48 PM
1

In my area, it's a blue Ford transit. This is because we had a spate of them hanging around our secondary school and the school giving us warnings daily. A white van man isnt a creepy perv, he's a guy who usually works in plumbing/electrics etc who drives like he owns the road and is generally loud-mouthed and not very bright. The white van stereotype is pretty common in the UK
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:42 PM
1

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2021/07/23/man-nearly-dies-after-suffering-stroke-while-masturbating/amp/ A stroke from stroking...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:34 PM
1

I just want to know what happened!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:32 PM
1

What thing that is positive does mix well with capitalism?!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:31 PM
2

I do not know how people who are dating in the modern era cope?! This looks like an absolute hellscape to me. Hookups, porn-saturation, people not even getting to know each other just throwing them away based on a handful of numbers. It just seems soul-destroying and miserable to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:30 PM
1

So she could be any other female human, and it would be largely irrelevant providing you bang her? Can you see why that would feel like just being used for the sensation your flesh provides?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:26 PM
1

This is so depressing. It makes me glad I'm old enough to have not have had to date in the modern porn-saturated era. I hope you find someone lovely one day
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:24 PM
1

He sounds amazing
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:17 PM
2

Probably when I was about nine and my dad introduced me to the 18 year old he was cheating on my mim with. Maybe when I was 12 and he callously destroyed my self-confidence and left me hating my body ever since. Or when I was 13 and he showed me a picture of his new girlfriend and asked me to be the one to tell my mum to "protect her feelings".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:16 PM
5

It takes significantly more time for all the damn hair removal than putting on basic make up. If we're aiming for natural is best, getting rid of the zero hair below the eyelashes would be a much more timesaving change
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:10 PM
1

By that point the hope is that he's pretty attached to you and can see the beauty in you without it, I guess. Boyfriend/husband goggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:04 PM
3

Not everyone is blessed with good skin or nice features though. Of course women generally seek to enhance and improve what they have. If there was a procedure a less attractive man could spend less than an hour on each day to improve his baseline attractiveness, of course he would. The problem is, the things a man would need to change are not easily improved like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:02 PM
1

There's another crucial factor at play here. It's not just for themselves or for men, it's to ward off the bitchy criticisms of other women. Women, especially online, can be incredibly cruel in judging other women. Look at any workplace of women. It's not generally the men running women down, it is other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 04:00 PM
12

If men wanted to feel needed and provide as an innate characteristic across the gender, why do so many bail on their children? Why is it that there's such a struggle to get them to pay child maintenance, or go for visitation? Why do zome men complain because their providing isnt given enough praise and respect? I would suggest that men like to provide but they also need the appreciation and praise from it. They do not automatically desire to provide for providing's sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 03:52 PM
4

No, I know women who has had plenty of ONS, often picked up in bars without knowing their name. No commitment intended. Rather than a woman that has tried it and didn't like it, wouldn't it be better for a relationship minded man to go for women who find hookup culture quite gross?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 03:47 PM
4

Good looking people are more confident. More confident people are generally more social and more able to network. This also opens up doors for climbing the social ladder.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 03:45 PM
3

Women want alpha and beta, I agree. The problem is, we want both in the same man. We want a man who is strong, resilient, capable, confident, and can handle our emotional storms. We also want him to be quietly adoring of us and our children but not clingy or needy, loyal, and not willing to throw away our family to chase random young girls. The ideal man is not AF or BB, he is a mix of alpha and beta. This is why I think MRP works for some men. It ups the alpha traits that they've wither never h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 03:43 PM
1

Hmmm guess I check the ugly chicks box. However, I'm happily married and have been with my husband for almost 22 years, which seems like a pretty reasonable success to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:33 PM
5

Dont worry if you dont feel you fit in, I think a lot of us probably feel that way. Think of this place as a space to look at tools that may help you be happy and make your family happy. If a hammer isn't what you need, you don't have to take it. If the screwdriver is perfect, great! Take it and use it. You don't have to have the whole toolbox, and you don't have to be a carpenter.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/21 12:30 PM
1

Yes but the advice on RPW favours women's strategy
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 09:21 AM
4

I entirely agree. I won't submit to a man simply because he is a man. He has no authority over me. I choose to submit to my husband because I love him and want to please him. I dont think I've ever seen anyone on RPW say that women en masse should be submitting to whatever random men want to act dominantly towards her :)
/r/RedPillWives23/07/21 08:22 AM
1

We're definitely told that we should only have sex if we're actively wanting it already. But some of the best sex I have had has been him in the mood and then me getting turned on with foreplay. I think part of this is the porn expectation that women will just be ready like a light switch. I'm sure when I was a teen in the days before internet porn it was an expectation that women were likely to want foreplay.
/r/RedPillWives23/07/21 08:19 AM
1

The world has changed so much in the last 18 months. Hard to see how it'll ever go fully back to normal!
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/21 08:16 AM
3

At most, oral, manual stimulation and anal would just become more common. People would still sleep around, they just may slightly change what they do. Dangerous at-home abortions would increase, as would travelling out of state for them. There'd be an increase in single parenting, more kids in the care system. It wont bring on some tradcon utopia. Just look at the last 18 months. People underestimate their personal risk and are reluctant to mitigate those risks, preferring to just roll the dice
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 08:14 AM
2

I'd probably compromise on a lot, but there are some deal breakers I couldn't compromise on. 1. If he was still hung up on a previous partner (widowed or she'd left) 2. If he wanted Poly/open marriage 3. A history of cheating/abuse 4. Drug use, heavy drinking or smoking 5. Previous prison time 6. Certain worldviews 7. Fairly low n-count Things like height, eye colour, income etc are all preferences rather than needs
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 08:01 AM
3

It's more that you can't discuss it there. I would hazard a guess that if you polled, most women there have at least some feminist values, particularly from the older waves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:54 AM
3

I think of myself as being personally traditional, societally progressive. I want to be happily feminine and pleasing to me husband but I dont think that should be imposed on everyone, because it won't make them happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:52 AM
2

This seems like a very sensible idea to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:51 AM
2

"They like it because they understand RP men actually turn them on versus SIMPs that cower to them." The RPW wisdom is that RP men are not good matches, and the best option is a Greater Beta. He has a mix of alpha and beta traits, but is committed and loving to his family whilst being strong and leading it. Women are not searching for pure alpha traits, even on RPW. It doesn't fit our mating strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:48 AM
1

Are women identifying as RP/PP rejecting feminism in some way? I wouldn't say I reject it. I would say I view it with more skepticism than I used to. For me, I find my marriage is happier and more peaceful when my behaviours and attitudes are softer and more feminine. It's a toolbox rather than an identity to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:45 AM
1

Unlikely, because then we have to talk about things like orgasm gap and people learning how to have (shitty) sex by watching porn, and those things men get very defensive about.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:33 AM
1

I should imagine it's been a challenging 18 months!
/r/RedPillWives23/07/21 07:24 AM
2

I appreciate you sharing. I hope you're happier in your current career :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 11:22 PM
2

I know what you mean
/r/RedPillWives22/07/21 11:19 PM
1

It feels needy and smothering when a man is generally wanting you to mother him. Given the close proximity women have with their children, I believe we are hardwired to find being motherly to anyone completely unsexy. In my experience, women who have to baby their husbands because their husbands are too emotionally reliant, not resilient without her, or too incompetent get very quickly repelled by sex with him. This is actually why I think RP works for husbands. It's not because she's scared he'…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 10:01 PM
1

Wouldn't bother me because I am similar. I need an emotional closeness and a feeling of trust and respect first.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:55 PM
1

I would support his choice, but I would want him to have done research on the potential side effects of any treatment. I prefer hair to bald, but I would adapt
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:36 PM
1

Do I get a crown for having married the only guy I've had sex with? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:25 PM
3

I think it's a real shame we cant normalise it. It cracks me up that so many guys are fine with the potential poo of anal but cant handle a little blood.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:21 PM
1

You cant fix this. Only she can fix this, and for that she has to 1) realise there's a problem, 2) want the change, 3) work on herself. Source: I was the refusing partner in a deadbedroom for many years.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:17 PM
0

That's awful :(
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:15 PM
2

Something historical. I love that restrained passion where you cant do anything to each other because society forbids it, but you both know how badly you want to
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:15 PM
9

Male friendships and female friendships are just very different. It would be easier if people set out what they want from a friendship at the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:12 PM
3

I can promise you, over the last almost twenty two years, my husband has failed a ton of shit and comfort tests, and I've likely failed him even more! The thing is, you learn to forgive each other and understand that you're both really flawed human beings but that doesn't mean you can't build something great. Sure, I find that he and I are both happier when I allow my femininity to guide me in my looks, behaviours, hobbies, and he takes more of a guiding role. But life isnt perfect. Stuff will h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 08:54 PM
0

Absolutely spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 08:45 PM
3

I did the first year of a degree just because I wanted to
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 07:03 PM
2

Can I be nosey and ask what made you leave, or what you do now?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 06:54 PM
21

I wouldn't say I've had some miraculous conversion. I still hold a lot of views that are not RP. However, I have found the tactics help my relationship and daily life be better, so that is how I try to do things. I think sometimes we see it as a binary red or blue, where many of us are some shade of purple.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 06:53 PM
1

I had a Google of vacapes as I'd never heard of it, being British. I've learnt some geography today thanks to you. Do you still do that work?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 02:55 PM
2

Sounds absolutely dreadful!
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 01:51 PM
1

I know what you mean. It's hard to put yourself there :)
/r/RedPillWives22/07/21 11:05 AM
1

You're spot on. Thanks
/r/RedPillWives22/07/21 11:02 AM
1

I am so old I had to try urban dictionary to figure out what this meant :o
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:00 AM
11

If he only loves the ocean for its calm, he wont be able to weather its storms in an emergency. Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 10:09 AM
1

I'm certainly doing much better than a couple of weeks ago, so that's good.
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 05:11 PM
6

Yeah, I think you might be right there. He theoretically could go, but actually won't because his heart and honour won't let him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 05:07 PM
1

I know several, mostly with school aged kids now and using grandparents for free wraparound care. I think we will have another housing price crash, but I dont see it will help renters really
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 05:05 PM
2

I dont actually feel down, so it's odd that's how I'm coming across. My self-care probably needs work, I'm spending too much time reading on reddit, not enough reading to learn or for fun! I dont drive, so going out for fun is limited, though some of it is the heat and my laziness.
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 05:04 PM
2

Definitely! It's quite disturbing to see how extreme it can be
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 04:17 PM
1

My father seemed like a great bet to my mum. He came from a string family with parents that loved him he had ambition and masculine hobbies, friends. He really wanted a wife and children. They dated a few months, got engaged, moved in together, married. Two years after marriage and much encouragement from him to have a baby, I came along. He immediately resented the pressures of having a baby and not having my mum's full attention. They had another two children, and their marriage became ugly. H…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:05 PM
1

Even dating or married a few years will not tell you how he will react to your child hitting puberty. At best it may give an idea about his enthusiasm for parenting, but that won't guarantee this won't happen when your daughter hits puberty. Vetting is great, but it's never perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:52 PM
2

But for women, it matters. It matters when your partner has an orgasm every time and yet you only orgasm 70% or whatever the latest estimate is. Men and women don't rate sex the same when the former orgasms every time. I think most men have almost never had sex without having an orgasm, and it would be helpful for them to understand why women don't chase sex as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:49 PM
2

Okay so out of curiosity, how often have you had sex without orgasming?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:24 PM
14

Definitely agree about the mix of alpha and beta, as a woman. I dont want a husband who would happily nuke our nuclear family and sod off into the distance whilst slagging off the single mother group he's just contributed to. I want a man who loves me and his children and can't imagine living without me. But I also want him to be strong enough to not get swept along by my emotions, to call me out on my BS, to provide and protect, and to flirt and tease me. And most of the women I have talked to …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:16 PM
1

How are women to know how a man will treat his daughter as a teenager? How can we vet for that in the dating stage? It's easy to say dont have children with these men, but I cant see how you would tell who is going to be one of these men more than a decade in advance
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:57 PM
1

Not all women think like that. Many of my close friends and I have never had casual sex or been unfaithful. To me, sex is very meaningful, and monogamy is important to me. I have never understood why anyone would want to risk accidental preg/violence/STDs with some randon stranger they know nothing about. It isn't hot to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:53 PM
5

I'm wondering how come it's gone so quiet here again? Perhaps everyone else is boiling in the heat like we are in my part of the UK? I'm also wondering why there isn't a place where men and women can discuss RP together, but not debating like on PPD? Is it because it's just assumed as women we have nothing of value to add?
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 01:42 PM
1

How do you see this working when the current generations often need two full time incomes just to make ends meet?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:26 PM
1

Because I like to see people discuss stuff, and gender dynamics are relevant to my interests
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:11 PM
2

Aren't children already starving? The UK has more than a million families needing help from food banks each year, and a government that had to be bullied by a footballer to not starve them during school holidays. People dont care if it's not their own kid
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:09 PM
2

Depends how you define hit. Spanking has been a popular part of sex play for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:52 PM
2

Utterly agree. It isn't what you are, it's what you do. An unattractive guy who makes a woman feels simultaneously respected and desired will do much better than a more attractive man with zero skills. However, this means actually meeting someone organically instead of just being swipe fodder.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:36 PM
1

Nope, the market will adapt. Sure, some people will jump ship, but generally people will just adapt. Go back twenty years and our view of what very fat meant was not 600lb, it was 300lb. The window of normality has changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:31 PM
1

How exactly do you screen for a man who won't step back when your daughter hits puberty before you even have children with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:06 PM
2

Tough to say because I haven't dated since 1999! Height would be a preference, not a red line. If I was having to date, I wouldn't be specifying a height, because things like attitude and personality hold more sway. I'd prefer to be with a shorter guy who I have an awesome connection with than a taller guy that I don't, so I would try not to limit myself too much. My biggest hard line wouldn't be height, it would be monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 11:41 AM
2

I'd be studying renaissance era European history
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 11:37 AM
1

I dont know of many single mums who purposefully had a child with a man who she didn't intend to stay with (generally married to). The single mums I know are single due to relationship breakdowns, not pump and dumps.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:55 AM
1

Lots of physical reasons I like tall guys. He can reach stuff, he makes me feel small and protected, I can wear heels. More than anything, I think it's because in my personal experience many shorter men have a certain sort attitude that is off-putting. This isnt to say all, or even most shorter men have this, because of course they don't. Those that do come across as snappy, having something to prove, argumentative and over-sensitive. I can fully understand why the world/society has made them so…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:54 AM
-1

I'm 5ft3, my husband is 6ft1. I like the way I feel small and protected when he holds me. I like to be able to wear heels without being taller than him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:40 AM
1

Sad but true. Ideally I'm going to be cuddled into his chest and he can rest his chin on my crown. It makes me feel safe and protected.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:33 AM
2

When the odds are in a woman's favour of getting matches, women are looking for quality not quantity. She will be pickier because she has a wider pool of availability. Be that height, or any other trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:31 AM
6

I don't think "as soon as they get successful" can apply to either of those women, both their husbands have been highly successful for years before their marriages broke down.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:22 AM
4

Agreed! For me, I didn't like all the decision making because I felt like then the consequences were all mine, and it made me anxious about being wrong. What I have learnt from handing over a lot of it is that this only works if you can not be a bitch when his decision goes wrong. As someone who grew up in a hyper-critical household, that's taken some work internally, but it feels so good to just say "It's no big deal" and letting it go.
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 10:12 AM
10

You can try work on your gratitude? The Empowered Wife podcast has some episodes about appreciating the good things and not focusing on the negatives. At your ages you have a long way of growing and changing in front of you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/21 02:26 PM
28

"I'm ashamed of him". Wow. Dont you think he deserves someone who will love and adore him? If you can't overlook the things you see as flaws now, you will be desperately unhappy in 5/10/20 years. Do this man a favour and let him go.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/21 02:11 PM
2

I am a song looper too. Once it is kn my head I get so many positive brain chemicals from having it on over and over. I listen to the Daily Stoic (mindset), We Only Look Thin (weight loss), and the Empowered Wife (relationship)
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/21 11:22 AM
1

Oh I totally get this! Mine is different in that it happened within my marriage. I had a big phase where I felt I was possibly asexual. Sex felt like something I needed to do for his sake, I had no spontaneous desire, and would starfish more often than not. But with some internal working, I got myself in a better place mentally, and our sex life is much better, and I am certainly not asexual at all!
/r/RedPillWives20/07/21 11:20 AM
2

37, married 18 together almost 22. Husband 40, one DS aged 9. SAHM. This week: Son's class had a positive case, so we have 10 days of son in isolation (though husband and I can go out). Absolutely scorching here, so the middle of the day is just indoors with the fans. Relationship: Big progress in the sharing of financial responsibilities. I had wanted to hand it over and he didn't want it, but we have come to a place of compromise which is great. He's still struggling with his back. I'm concent…
/r/RedPillWives20/07/21 11:16 AM
1

I wasn't trying to criticize, I hope it didn't come over that way. I'm not Christian, so my knowledge is limited in this area, but I like to learn about other people's lives. I would agree that it's not a religious space here, I think it's a pretty wide-ranging space of beliefs and attitudes.
/r/RedPillWives20/07/21 09:17 AM
3

What would you say makes this not compatible? Is a woman not supposed to submit to her husband according to the bible?
/r/RedPillWives20/07/21 08:46 AM
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