I (26f) met my boyfriend (24m) online in a meme group. He is from another country, but we speak each other's languages and understand each other's culture very well. We met last year and started talking about dating around last October. We met and officially started dating in February.

My issue is that I have a nagging feeling of not being his preference or not being enough of him. He and I are the same race, but both is ex girlfriends have been of another race. They are both from another country, but were living in his country. Additionally I know that he prefers porn with actresses of their race/ethnicity. Recently my brother's girlfriend pointed out that he follows a LOT of women from their home country on his instagram. To be fair, he has visited that country many times and it is quite possible that many of them are just friends he met on his vacations. He does have some close friends of this ethnicity that he seems to flirt with - but he assures me that is just how he expresses friendship.

The "problem" is that because I look very different from this ethnicity. I get a nagging feeling that he might not be truly attracted to me. I was the one who came on to him so maybe he is just dating me because i am available and into him?

He claims he doesn't have a type, but it seems like he does. It doesn't help that I have a very strong preference on my type so it's a little hard for me to understand someone not caring.

Another issue with my self esteem is that I am a mother so I have a bit of mom body even though I work out and diet. I know that 1) there are not a ton of mothers his age and 2) he has a preference for very petit thin girls.

He visited for 10 days back in February and seemed to be into me then. I was supposed to go visit him in May, but couldn't because of covid. He will be visiting again in August.

However, as of now, he rarely wants to video call, get pics, or sext. When I mention it, he will step up and initiate calls for 1-3 days, but then taper off again. I feel like maybe I push him into wanting to see me.

Outside of these issues he is great. He has a stable job, he accepts my son and interacts with him really well, he is redpilled, he hasn't slept with a ton of girls, he really likes my family and they really like him.

But some days I feel upset non stop and want to end the relationship and look for someone who idolizes girls who look like me. Other days I feel like I am being silly and too demanding.

I think that most of this issue is tied to me having low self esteem and lacking self confidence. But how do I get over these feelings?

To/Dr: I feel like my boyfriend is not truly into me. Not sure if it is because he seems to have a fetish/preference for another ethnicity, or because I have low self esteem.