Therapy options

2020-05-31T03:26:49+00:00

I did 2 years of faith-based Christian therapy at my university when I felt similar to you. I personally found it helpful. It's important to know that your whole worth as a woman is not based on your virginity. There are many aspects of yourself that are more important. Your character for example.

I'm a Catholic Christian, and recently in my faith (at least in the circles I run in and the online community I engage with) there is more of a focus on chastity rather than virginity. People (men and women alike) make mistakes, or do things they come to regret. It happens, but it doesn't have to define you. You can change. It takes time, but you can forgive yourself, learn from what happened and use that experience to make you stronger in your convictions, your boundaries and your standards.

Many of us had to have sex in less than ideal relationships to realize that those circumstances didn't work for us. We wanted more commitment, more intimacy, or whatever we felt was missing from that sexual experience.

What we need to do as RPW is learn from those circumstances and seek out the circumstances that we do want! Whether that's a committed relationship, engagement, or marriage.

Bottom line, is healing from this will take time. But with the right therapist you'll be able to work through it. There will be hard days. I still have them many years later. But it's possible!

teaandtalk · 2020-05-31T03:40:13+00:00

You are not the mistake of losing your virginity before you were ready. What you are is HUMAN. You’re living a crazy human experience and, sometimes, that means doing something that goes against our values.

I also want you to know that purity culture is generally toxic. I believe there’s a lot of dignity in saving yourself for the one you’re going to be with forever, dressing modestly, etc. However, you are NOT a bruised apple/chewed up piece of gum/a cookie that everyone has touched or any of those silly metaphors people who tout purity culture tend to use.

You are a beautiful person who’s just trying to navigate this crazy human experience.

Learn from your past, evaluate your values and beliefs, then move forward living in a way that is true to your core values.

No more looking back, no more guilt.

That doesn’t mean be dishonest with yourself or future partners, but it does mean understanding your worth as a whole person rather than just a Madonna or a whore.

You can be a RPW who’s had a past. You can be a RPW who’s changed and grown. Demanding perfection from beginning to end in your life is setting yourself up for failure.

Just move forward in the best way you can. Be strong in your convictions, but be gentle with your heart.

Take care sweetheart

dashdotdott · 2020-05-31T16:32:39+00:00

I would say that at the least you should be talking with your priest/pastor more. He's not only there for theological issues. Father and pastor aren't just honorifics but symbolic of the relationship you should have with him (reminder: pastor derives from the Latin word for shepherd). If you don't have that relationship, you should examine why and consider finding someone where you can. Examine why because you need to determine if there are compatibility issues or you issues (such as, he tells me the truth I don't want to hear vs he explains things in a way I don't understand vs my church is too big and he doesn't have the time).

Title	Therapy options
Author	acceptable_runx
Upvotes	11
Comments	7
Date	May 31, 2020 1:17 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gtpzeb/therapy_options/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/therapy-options.669775 https://theredarchive.com/post/669775

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