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View 2 posts and 389 comments by dashdotdott on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Nope, but I can imagine I'm an oddball. When I was 26, I had my first child while also in my third year of a PhD program. When I graduated, I had three kids. Now, at 37, I work in the private sector (vaccine development), have 5 kids, and my husband is a SAHD/Priest. Ironically, I started college wanting to be a SAHM but found something (biology) that fascinates me. And none of what I've accomplished could have been done without my husband rooting for me. Yet, we are "Red Pill".
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/25 11:14 PM
3

Am I the only one who hasn’t overlooked that you are the primary breadwinner here? She's on manternity leave right now. So she's not working and won't be for months. It's not to say that she shouldn't have a conversation about the changes that will happen once she gets back to work, but that isn't the issue at the moment. For my last maternity leave, I almost 100% took care of the baby. He got to handle the other four kids (who were home from school for most of that time). The crazy part is that…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/25 05:14 AM
5

I work with a lot more liberal people, but thankfully, this isn't a point of topic. I have five kids (eldest is 11yo, youngest is under a year); so they might just avoid that topic with me. I've had more than one person tell me that birth control exists. I'm like...I have a PhD in biology and you think I don't know how this works? A sister of mine once said that she and her husband didn't want to pass on their disabilities (autism, EDS, among others). All I could think was "how ableist". But I k…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/25 11:29 PM
6

I forsee a lot of them turning 40 with men who suddenly change their minds and decide they have better chances with women 10 years younger. Oh geez, I hadn't considered that aspect. I do worry about the number of young women declaring themselves "childfree by choice." I wonder how much of that is a fad of the young. It is easy to say something like that at 22. But the biological clock exists, and the older you get, the harder it is to ignore. Now, I wouldn't say that to someone's face. For all I…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/25 10:03 PM
10

Ding ding ding! To paraphrase a recent Carl Benjamin video: my mother is not invisible to my children. I really worry about the "crazy cat ladies." It is one thing to do that in your 30s or 40s. What about 70s? I've heard that can be a lonely time because many of your friends are dying/dead. If you've not built a family around you, who is going to visit you? I'm not even talking about the hard work some do to care for their aging/dying parents. I'm talking about having visitors and people who ca…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/25 08:24 PM
2

My husband didn't actually own a home when we met. Neither did I. We rented for 15 months and bought our first and only house in 2018, in an older (1980s), established neighborhood, with large lots and no HOA My husband and I didn't buy until we had four kids and were married for 10-11yrs. Don't buy just because it is a thing to do. We didn't earlier because I was in grad school; and then building out my early career. We knew the general area we wanted to live in (DC Baltimore) but without knowi…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 12:13 AM
1

1) I always wonder what they include in those numbers. Especially if daycare, after-school programs, summer camps are included. Also, there are lost wages because kids get sick. Because if there is a SAHP, you don't need to pay for them. 2) Not sure where you're getting your numbers. The sites I visited suggested $65-70k average salary for Cali. As for what is required, see questions I have in #1. I am not a millionaire but we are doing a single income in a HCOL. I do make above the median but $…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 03:06 AM
6

I am not a SAHM but I'm in biotech. I have a PhD, five kids, and my husband is SAHD/clergy. I would not go for a PhD if your eventual goal is to be a SAHM or if you've not figured out what you want to do with your life. Many many reasons 1) You'll be severely underpaid during your PhD. By severely underpaid, I mean I was making 50% of what I would have made in industry. I'm not sure if I'll make up that missed income. Like I've not seen the data to suggest that overall a PhD increases income vs …
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 09:16 PM
38

They all regurgitate the same thing. If I as a woman am not willing to in short fulfill the dreams they have of their life then they’re not willing to even consider me let alone love me for me. Maybe I read this wrong but you're in the early phase of dating? Still getting to know each other. I think you have the cart before the horse. I, as a woman, would also not have married a man who I couldn't see fulfilling my dreams. I wanted kids, and marrying a guy who didn't would have set me up for dis…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 06:12 AM
37

I'm over 35 (married), so I suspect that I'm post wall. I'm also a tad overweight. My hair has started graying but has been for the last 10yrs. I've done very little to stop the aging process but I'm lucky in that I am a labrat who prefers to be indoors most of the time and I've not done a lot of purposeful tanning since high school. I wear very little make-up (mainly just a tad of concealer for my under eyes). Yeah, I'm not 22, and all the young guys are flocking around me...but I don't want th…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 01:20 AM
12

I can’t question anything period, I can’t ask for anything This to me is a level of control that rises more to kink than to a vanilla Captain-First Mate dynamic. Generally speaking, we (most of us) want men who will take our feedback and wishes into account. If you have ever read Laura Doyle she is big on expressing your wishes and giving him space to take what you want into account. Yeah this is red flag level for me. And doubly so because The thing is I DO want it but i’m sending myself into a…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 08:27 PM
2

I am also Orthodox. I personally would not suggest this type of question in an online forum because local practice and the local priest have such a huge impact. For local practice: there is not a "pay a fee and you're free" in my jurisdiction. You essentially have to go to a spiritual court and show why a divorce is justified (there might be fees; but I doubt it). As for thenlocal priest: I can say that my husband (a priest) would be less than thrilled to be told "but that's what I was told was …
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 12:38 AM
8

I have five kids, youngest is 7 weeks. I've had ante- and post-partum depression for each of them. I was diagnosed 5mon PP with my first. For me, my experience with my first was very, very different. I felt very little through the pregnancy and post-partum. But that was due to the depression. Something I didn't know at the time is that emotional detachment is a symptom of depression. So is irritation (the main emotion I'd feel) and intrusive thoughts that don't go away (which I struggled with). …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 04:13 AM
28

Please OP. Any one of these means that he's a dick! And if he's going to dump you because of your age, dump him first. Don't waste your time with someone so shallow.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 03:07 AM
8

Wealth is an easy way to evaluate High Value, but it is not everything (as OP unfortunately learned). What people fail to recognize is that money is a symbol of status within the community. My husband is (IMHO) an HVM, but I'm the breadwinner. Why? He's clergy; he has high standing in our community but you dont become clergy if you plan to make loads of cash (at least for our jurisdiction; most priests are not paid FT and health insurance is almost unheard of). To some we are not RP but it is al…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 11:01 PM
2

Yes, this! He's controlling, and it will only get worse, I'm afraid. Whether because he controls more OR because you will chafe at this level (you already are).
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 12:02 AM
1

For reference: married for 14yrs, 4kids (+1 on the way). I've been the breadwinner for a few years but about a year ago my husband lost his day job just as we started discussing him being an FT-priest/SAHD. We knew from the beginning of the relationship that this was a distinct possibility because I was going for a biology PhD and he was going to be a priest (we are Orthodox Christians and priests don't make much in our jurisdiction). The priest aspect I think plays a very important role in this…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 01:13 AM
2

I'm a mom of four (ranging from 3 to 10). I worked full time up until each was born and went back 2-3mons after. I was always available for sexual stuff (what depended on the phase of pregnancy and postpartum). That was the main thing for me. But I didn't deal with a lot of pain during pregnancies When it comes to preganancy/children: You do what works for your family at the time. Whether that is way less sex but more cuddles; or hiring a housekeeper because...getting up from the bed is an Olymp…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 11:17 PM
6

What do you mean by blatantly disrespecting? For some: not showing up to a familydinner is blatantly disrespectful. In all fairness: I think this is one of the few times that calls for yelling, screaming, and disrespecting.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/23 09:28 PM
5

I'm the breadwinner in our household now (34F). He was the breadwinner when I was working on my PhD. But we always knew I'd be the breadwinner. What helps us is two fold. First he's clergy (a priest), which helps because it is a position of respect in our community. Second is, clear communication. I've apparently started making some attitude changes when I got my first post-grad job. He called me out very quickly. It is actually a reason I married him: he doesn't take BS and will talk to me when…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 02:05 AM
12

Vetting. There is risks to everything. But vetting a man properly will make a huge difference. I'm willing to bet good money that their were red flags in your parents relationship prior to the marriage.
/r/RedPillWives29/03/22 08:15 PM
3

Seconding the point about boundaries. Why are you caring for your friends more than yourself? What advice would you give a friend who asked your questions?
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/22 05:03 AM
2

Your original post: Why is having a child "risky" or "permanent" while owning a pet isnt?
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 11:53 AM
3

Oh honey. As others have said, hymen doesn't indicate virginity. Riding horses and doing gymnastics can rupture it. Also, it already has holes in it: how do you think your period blood gets out? I was also a virgin when I had my first pap. I was a virgin on my wedding night. I found it uncomfortable, but I was also not relaxed. Which plays a big role in how this goes. Not fair, because, it would be hard to relax with your feet in the stirrup regardless. Fair warning (because I always manage to f…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 04:32 AM
6

??? Really. You come here spout ignorant tripe like: children aren't permanent or risky? And didn't expect to get called out. Perminance: you never stop being a parent. A big part of of parenting is: don't do that, it will hurt/be uncomfortable. When they are little it is watching them go outside without a coat and them deal with the cold when it is 50F. When they are an adult, it is watching them ignore the "don't put your dick in crazy" maxim. All you can do is, wait by the door, pray that you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 02:24 AM
5

But I don’t think it’s fair to act like bitter children hating women are this sweeping phenomenon. I also think that hating on parents and children is an immaturity thing. Actually I think hating on different lifestyles that you disagree is an immaturity thing. Being able to see a choice you don’t want for yourself but being happy for the other person and seeing it from their point of view comes with growth. I used to have the toxic view of “crotch goblins” when I was younger but now I’m secure …
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 01:27 AM
1

It is possible. I have four kids, three of which were born while I was working on my STEM PhD. I'm now the breadwinner. The key is a very supportive husband and a supportive, local family (both sides). We also went for an at-home daycare and she's been a life saver! We have not had the on again off again childcare that others have dealt with thanks to Ms Rona. And no rotating door of teachers (the main reason we changed from a facility daycare). I'm not going to say it is easy. But if you want e…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/22 03:55 AM
1

You said it was a deal breaker, that's a threat to leave if you don't get you want. If that's not pressure then I don't know what is. Of course, you are welcome to take a few months, see what changes. But he should make demonstrable changes. And I'd spend some time think what that means to you and to then stick to them. No changing goalposts!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 01:25 AM
7

He only changed his mind when you pressured it. I'd believe what he initially stated. You say you don't want this relationship to end like the last one (waiting forever for a marriage that never happened), why are you setting yourself up again? Do you really want a man who you have to talk into marriage? I'd want someone to be excited to marry me. Don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy again! Listen: it doesn't sound like he's a bad guy. But he might not be the right guy for you. That's okay! We …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 01:03 AM
1

What if she becomes a SAHM? She won't be earning income. Or they buy a house together. Or payoff his house with her shared income? What if her job has no retirement benefits so they max out his? I personally see the value in alimony in cases like this (ie where one partner did not work outside the home). It is easy to say: you keep what you came with. But life isn't that simple. It isn't to say that a prenuptial is a bad idea. But she should have her lawyer look at it to ensure it is fair.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 12:55 AM
14

Ding ding ding! Make it a family affair. If you're planning on having kids and working: this helps set expectations for the kids (everyone helps). Better to start now when it is "just" the two of you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 12:48 AM
7

I think OP meant more for people to be informed. Some have risk factors beyond what we typically think (ie allergies to any of the ingredients). I'm all about people making informed decisions for themselves. Forcing people to do something inevitably backfires (see current hesitancies about Covid vax).
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 12:10 AM
1

Money is always welcome, it allows the parents to get what they need. For example, diapers are always welcome but some brands fit certain babies better than others. If you'd rather be giving a gift then I would go for something that can be used a multiple developmental stages. I found this blogger really helpful. She focused on toys than can be used at multiple stages and that help children with different developmental milestones. If you want something on the more practical side: medicines/remed…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/21 07:17 PM
2

Sometimes body types skip a generation. My sisters are built more "athletically", based on pics my mom was the same. It isn't to say that they were unhealthy or overweight, but I was always the skinny one. For me. When I got married I was 110-125 lbs (or less). Average sized boobs (around a 32C). Hourglass shape, flat stomach. If anything, I was probably a tad underweight. Twelve years and four kids later: 185lbs (which I realize I need to lose some weight, but I don't think I'll get under 145lb…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/21 05:57 PM
1

Uber. They can use it on Uber eats for food or trips to the hospital (or family member house). A cousin of mine had a premie in the early Covid days. My family got together to give a gift certificate. Went with Uber (I forget why I chose that) and he later mentioned that it was so useful. They would get food but his wife also used it to get to the hospital (they are a one car family with older kids).
/r/RedPillWives11/12/21 04:24 AM
2

Yeah, one thing younger people don't realize: your body is going to change. Having kids is a big one for women. Not to knock OP, I didn't realize how much until I started having kids. You think it is "just" weight gain. It isn't. I'll probably never get back down to my high school weight, my boobs are way too big. A flat stomach will require a tummy tuck. Some women go back to their pre-pregnancy body. I didn't!
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/21 04:16 AM
33

I have four kids. Youngest is 2. I'm a working mom. I'll second the use of hands/mouth. Right now you both have to give. It isn't going to be the same as before baby. Frequency usually goes down along with quickies and BJs will becoming the norm. When my husband and I were in a similar cycle, I actually found that not rejecting him, led to less sex. I think that he was so desperate that any interaction became about that and I got turned off because I wanted something else (comfort more often tha…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/21 12:23 AM
7

I disagree that their options are so much more limited that it affects their ability to vet. Especially if they are following the RP guidelines. Men choose who they are going to pursue. That's where their vetting starts.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/21 12:30 AM
17

As much as I sometimes wanted to reply to their posts (when I regularly ventured into that sub), I never did. It isn't technically a space for women. OP: their goal is different than ours. It isn't to have an LTR. Also, many of them have been very hurt. They chose badly and it is much easier to blame it on AWALT than to acknowledge that they are part of the problem (this is t absolve those that hurt them, but usually it takes two to tango). IMO one of the things male RP could do with is the conc…
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/21 01:58 PM
3

I’m autistic, too. RPW is an interesting resource if you take everything with a great big grain of salt. What works for “typical” women may not work as well for you. RP theory works with generalizations and describes the average person. You’re not average. Your ideal partner might not be average, either. Your strategies and requirements for finding a great relationship will likely be different from a non-autistic woman’s. This touches on something I've been contemplating of late. Partially spurr…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 02:13 AM
5

Oh men do have those goggles. The problem is: if you're a nag, don't put out, it doesn't matter if you have the wife goggles or the youth goggles, you'll get a hard pass. The youth might get you a bit of leeway but not long term.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 11:35 PM
5

Good advice! Only thing I would add is that you don't need to do this overnight. Whatever you do, make it sustainable for you. For example, get a haircut that works with your face and hair type and lifestyle. I have to ensure that my hair is long enough for a ponytail. Because I always wear my hair up and I don't want a pixie cut. I've tried the shorter cuts, I've tried training myself to handle my hair down. I just can't do it (partly because of the nature of my job). Good news is that it is su…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 12:15 AM
3

BUT, I realise that I still have an undeniable 'academic drive' What do you mean by this? You want to go to grad school? I have a PhD in molecular biology and work in the biotech industry. I married my husband before I finished my bachelors and we not have four kids (three of whom were born while I was working on my PhD). I am also the breadwinner now. It is very hard to do academia part time. It isn't to say that you cannot have a family but it is all encompassing. My PhD mentor would work on g…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 01:59 AM
3

Depending on when in August, she might not be cleared for activity more than lifting baby and walks. OP: it took you 9months to grow the baby and gain the necessary weight that entailed. It is okay if it takes 9mon to lose it. I'd focus on ensuring you have healthy habits. Daily exercise, portion control, and focusing on good-for-you food. Those will all help once you can get back into gear. Especially, as other commenters mentioned, breastfeeding does not always help the weight loss as expected…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 02:33 AM
4

I'm a Matushka (priest's wife). I would not marry someone with the hope they will become more (or less) devout. You cannot bring someone closer to the Faith, they need to chose to become closer. Imagine that he stays the same for 1yr, 5yrs, 10yrs. When there are children, the model that he will be at 1yr, 5yr or 10yrs if he continues spiritually as he is. Imagine taking your children, by yourself, to church. Imagine having to drag an unwilling child who is asking why they have to go and daddy do…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 11:44 PM
13

The fact that he’s threatened you with homelessness is abusive. If you marry him: expect as many threats to divorce. This won't stop, only escalate
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/20 12:45 PM
3

Ding ding ding! If you were looking for a mate at work, then yes OP's attitude was an issue. But, a) she has one and b) don't shit where you eat. OP: I wouldn't worry about your feminity at work. It is okay for you to be feminine at home and more masculine at work.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/20 02:29 AM
4

The other commenters have said plenty that you need, but: the friend needs to go. You are lucky that he hasn't lost any money yet, and if he genuinely enjoys doing stuff with money he should go into investing or the stock market. He needs to realize what gambling is, an addiction, and the immense risk it poses to your relationship and security. He needs to stop, know what he was doing, and figure out why he was so susceptible to a shitty friend reeling him into it. If you guys get married, pleas…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/20 02:15 AM
3

If you go through with the marriage, a prenup is an absolute must, he can stop the gambling until the marriage and start back up again after. disproportionate Not just a prenup but also don't put anything in his and your name unless you're willing to lose it. This includes houses and cars. Even then, depending on local law, you could still lose it. Look up financial infidelity; cheating doesn't have to be sexual in nature. Also: if he didn't think it was wrong, why did he hide it? If he knew it …
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/20 02:08 AM
8

You sound like you care more about the standing the wedding will give you than the man you're marrying. I understand being concerned. It is odd that he hid your relationship. But that is a conversation to have with him. For all you know, he had a good reason. Or he's an idiot and fumbling because this is his first serious relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/20 04:09 AM
9

How much of an overlap is there between your pre and post stalking friend groups? Because there is a good chance that your stalker spread many rumors about you.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/20 04:06 AM
4

Tone often makes the difference. Or as my mom said to me growing up: it is not just what you say but how you say it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/20 04:00 AM
7

There is never a great time to have kids. And if you're a mindful person, you will be nervous. That is normal. I had three kids in grad school and another shortly after. Best decision ever. If you want kids, there is no time like the present.
/r/RedPillWives28/11/20 05:51 PM
1

he said something about how when I walk on a beach in a bikini, every male looks at me since I'm a "babe"(his words, not mine). Is he your biological father? Because that is an unusual comment from a dad.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/20 12:23 PM
4

I wonder, why should I still keep my virginity when there’s a chance I’ll marry someone who didn’t wait? If I do that, it will completely invalidate the reasons I’ve been saving myself. Virtue isn't about what other people do or do not do. Virtue is about you. If virginity is so important to you, you need to vet for it. And for an honest man. I'd also consider why you're so interested in virginity. Are you using it at a measure of religiosity? Because, frankly, it isn't a good measure of that. P…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/20 07:17 PM
13

In my world this would mean within the first month because I don’t see a use to wasting time in general. I would generally agree that by the end of a month. I can understand why you wouldn't want to disclose on the first date. But it must be during the early stages. Not point on wasting either of your time if you aren't compatible for such a fundamental reasons.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/20 03:56 AM
14

I was looking through OPs history. She mentions that if they have a fight he won't go to events for days afterwards. For example, he didn't go to a wedding because of a fight two days earlier. She was contemplating not going. OP: what is happening to you is not healthy. It isn't healthy to tell someone (who just miscarried) that they don't want to have children with them because she shared that information. Did he tell you not to tell anyone? Based on what you said, it sounds like he didn't but …
/r/RedPillWives07/11/20 02:39 AM
–

On a related note - how should I keep dishtowels looking clean and fresh? I wash them, but it seems like they get ugly food stains and then make the kitchen look dirty once I've hung them up to dry. Get white flour sack towels (FSTs). They are cheap, usually 100% cotton, and bleachable. Quite absorbent too (I was introduced to their wonders when cloth diapering).
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/20 10:45 PM
8

Yes! You never know what curve balls life will throw you. And college will help you find men who could make enough to support a SAHM. If you're unsure what to major in: child development.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/20 10:51 AM
2

I bailed early on from the pregnancy subs because the non-binary 'its rude to assume I'm the mother just because I'm pregnant' voices were drowning out the rest of the sub. Wat!!! I know that those final weeks are hard (I have four kids), but you're almost there mama! You've got this! Soon your LO will be in your arms
/r/RedPillWives27/09/20 03:10 AM
7

The thing about RP is that you're talking about what works for most people. There will always be exceptions. And that is okay. The thing is you need to know yourself. Don't fall into the trap that you are the exception simply because you are the main character of your story. My husband and I are RP and fairly traditional about the man being head of the household and all that. But I'm the one who makes more. And that is not likely to change. We knew that going in and, for us, it works.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 10:57 PM
4

We had to replace my husband's beater due to family expansion a year ago. While ours was a different circumstance (we don't follow DR; I am aware). We got into a big fight. I wanted a minivan and he wanted an SUV; I wanted used, he wanted new. It was stupid. I realized after that I wasn't being fair. If it is his, then I shouldn't care about minivan vs SUV assuming it carries the whole family (which he was considering). What I did later was bring the relevant information to his attention. If we …
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 01:03 AM
10

devoted to Eastern philosophy steals He's so awesome...except for the part where he steals. He's like those televangelists, all piety on the outside and corruption on the inside.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 12:39 AM
7

As I commented elsewhere: if he wanted to help, he'd buy directly from the farmer. It is very possible to buy half a cow directly from the farmer. My parents were doing in the the 2000s. This kind of thing has only gotten easier.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 12:35 AM
23

“corporations are evil” If corporations are evil and exploit their workers mercilessly, then who do you think is going to be effected by the theft? It isn't the CEO. Guess what happens to stores where they cannot prevent stealing (a huge problem in CA at the moment): they close down. What happens to those workers: no job. Or the prices go up to cover what he (and others) have taken. Which means that those of lower means cannot partake. You said he makes good money so why are earth should he feel…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 12:31 AM
10

My dad always told us: once he gets physical; leave. There is no saving the relationship if he cannot control his emotions. These are basic lessons taught to 3yos. You cannot punch, kick, hit just because you're upset.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/20 12:33 AM
5

The problem, as the other commenter noted, is that Red Pill means more than one thing. Rather frustrating.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/20 02:48 AM
73

You might want to be careful of men who are aware of RP. For men, the goals are different from women. Most just want to get laid and use RP to do so. There isn't really an RP for men who want to settle down (as far as I'm aware). As for finding men who have similar ideals. Join advocacy groups. Want a guy passionate about animal rescue, volunteer at a shelter. Best way to work on your social awkwardness is to start going out and interacting. Not necessarily to meet a guy, but to meet people. Loo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/20 05:13 PM
6

I can't tell if the problem is your sleep schedule or rather your expectations of what is possible during the day. Why would adding 1.5hr at the beginning of the day change the amount you get done vs staying up until 12:30? If you're not a morning person, don't fight it. Just stay up later. Workouts can be done at 11pm just as well as at 6am. 7:30 is pretty reasonable. But, you might to high daily goal expectations. I understand wanting to do it all but (especially with classes), that just isn't…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/20 10:30 PM
1

Minus the scary movies that sounds like my usual Holloween. 😃
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/20 10:41 PM
6

I'm in biology, but I was at a top tier institution for my field. I don't know what engineering school (undergrad or graduate work). The big thing was a supportive spouse and that we lived near both our families. If it weren't for their help, I don't know how we would have managed. I also picked a graduate mentor who didn't expect her students to work 24/7. Other than that, you make it work.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/20 06:16 PM
94

I was married at 22, had my first child at 26. I now have four kids, a PhD, and a job in biotech. I had three of my kids during grad school. What I noticed about pregnancy is that people take their cues from you. If you're happy about it, they are happy for you. Do what is right for you and your partner. Everyone else can jump in a lake
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/20 11:04 AM
4

Why are you crying every two to three days?
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/20 10:45 AM
9

If you call these minor, I want to know what major lies are. These aren't minor
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/20 10:40 PM
17

Please excuse my ignorance, but doesn't the arranged aspect clear up the commitment part? Like you both know the end goal and that it is soon. The type of guy that is afraid of commitment aren't exactly going to be going this route. They will be pushing it off (assuming dating as understood in the West is not an option).
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/20 03:19 AM
2

It is not something I've personally had to deal with (as of yet). I'm sure there are online resources. Regardless, I would approach it as a concern. For example "I'm really worried about your drinking and it effecting your relationship with your kids" vs "you drink too much and neglect your kids".
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/20 12:01 PM
2

I'd still call CPS. One person/family repeatedly calling could be harassment; you're also saying their concerns are valid. You do need to tell her that her drinking is getting out of hand. Don't worry about the age difference.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/20 11:51 AM
2

Another time I dropped of cookies at her house and her daughters (2 and 6) opened the door to me (a complete stranger) and nobody else was home. In my state, that is extremely illegal. Kids under the age of 8 are not to be left unsupervised (and babysitters have to be at least 13). And let's not get into the neglect that it is to leave a staple in a kid's head. I can't imagine why her mother hates her guts /s In all seriousness, call CPS. If you're worried about them getting stuck in the system,…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/20 01:21 AM
2

Exactly! I can't currently due to local laws (read: they are set up so that only the wealthy and/or well connected get CCWs). But if I could, I absolutely would.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 10:36 PM
4

I was just 22 and he was 30. We'd been together for 2yrs. It's been over 10 years.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/20 09:38 PM
7

Or how exploitative it is to those women participating.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/20 10:53 PM
1

VA is changing rapidly thanks to the suburbanites in northern VA. MD is more of the same, but that isn't saying much. The DC suburbs and Baltimore politics rule the roost.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/20 07:54 PM
2

Ask yourself: Would you be willing to risk getting arrested for doing whatever they’re doing? If yes, then the criminality shouldn’t bother you. If no then you’re pretty much destined for failure. This is What This Account Is For! Great point
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/20 01:59 AM
1

From Maryland: I'd disagree. I wouldn't move here. If it weren't for the ties that we already have, my husband and I would move. OP: it is extremely liberal here. There have been riots in DC of late. I frequently feel like the odd man out (I'm a working mom; I've had a coworker say to my face that she would never have kids because of the environment).
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/20 01:53 AM
19

I used to think it was because my mum had not taken proper care of me as a kid but now I'm starting to realise maybe it's because of excessive hormones that tend to grow my body hair in an unusual manner. Yeah, it has nothing to do with your mom's care. It is genetics. Part of which has to do with your hormones. If you're concerned about your hormones and an imbalance: go see a doctor. First: start seeing a therapist. For some reason you've started to hyperfocusnon this aspect of your body. This…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/20 09:10 PM
3

Certainly, I don’t encourage “womens only spaces” from an SJW perspective, but I see RPW and the women in it as such a valuable thing that I want it to continue undisturbed. You can want women's only spaces and not be an SJW. The problem with SJWs is that they want women only spaces and then have a cow when men want their own spaces. It is important for both sexes to have a space without the other. There are things that we just don't want to discuss around the other sex or hear about the opposit…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/20 08:42 PM
4

I have voiced my concerns. About the issue on this post. About many other issues. Like how he doesn't like making set plans with me. Like how he makes me wait around not knowing if we're meeting up. Like how he doesn't like committing to meet at a specific time. Like how he hides me from his family and doesn't want me to meet his friends. You sound like a side piece. Find something to take up your time. Right now you spend a lot of time waiting for him. He doesn't need to show up on time, you'll…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/20 02:26 AM
9

I told him that I didn’t like it that much then he said “no it’s good, and if I don’t find a better one by tomorrow then we’re going to take it”. Did you say why? Or did you assume he remembered your criteria. Or were your criteria clear (ie "a big kitchen vs the kitchen needs to be at least 6ft by 6ft)? Having just done the "buy a house" thing. One thing I realized in the process is that when it comes to where you live, you need to be very clear with each other what the non-negotiables are and …
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 01:32 AM
0

You can cook frozen meat in the IP. You have to thaw the meat prior to putting it in a Crock-Pot.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/20 09:53 AM
2

Forcing it on others never works. In fact it can backfire. I know more than one person who tried to force religion on their partner, only for the partner to double down against that religion. The thing to do is pray; the softening of a heart rarely happens overnight. I would caution against turning the household upside down due to your zeal. Speaking as someone who converted to Orthodox Christianity, I was probably rather obnoxious the first few years. Not out of malice, but more be due the desi…
/r/RedPillWives06/06/20 05:47 PM
1

Some people will care, others won't. It all depends on the type of person you want to attract. I personally know at least one guy who looks down on social media and people who are tied to their phone. And there are plenty of people (mostly women, I've noticed) who look at you askance. I wouldn't use the "I'm not photogenic" line because it could be taken as you fishing for compliments. Framing it as something you don't have interest in (as suggested by another poster) is a better way of putting …
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/20 01:08 AM
1

I would say that at the least you should be talking with your priest/pastor more. He's not only there for theological issues. Father and pastor aren't just honorifics but symbolic of the relationship you should have with him (reminder: pastor derives from the Latin word for shepherd). If you don't have that relationship, you should examine why and consider finding someone where you can. Examine why because you need to determine if there are compatibility issues or you issues (such as, he tells m…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 04:32 PM
2

you're hourglass Ndo Not overcover with turtlenecks or popping buttons. Size for your chest and be a bit of a potato awhile longer until you find what works as classy. Second sizing for your chest. I'm large in that area (four kids didn't help that situation). You can always have the waist tailored to fit so that you don't look 10lbs heavier. Second Base has nice demi camis that help with cleavage without adding a ton of bulk. I have three in different colors and wear at least one multiple times…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/20 12:32 PM
9

A HV man wants a woman who can handle herself in social situations. Think of the wives of politicians and CEOs. They are beautiful, and feminine and charming. They can talk to donors and politicians to help their husbands succeed. No quiet, shrinking violet can do that. Reminds me of when Melania Trump was asked if she married Trump because he was rich, she responded "if I weren't beautiful do you think he would have married me?". She could have responded in many ways (especially because she was…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/20 12:41 AM
4

What a wonderful way of expressing this! People keep seeming to conflating an RPW with a shy, introverted woman. While an RPW can be that, she can also be out-going and extroverted. I'd like to nominate for a star, u/pearlsandstilettos (sorry, second time this week; you're the main mod whose username I can remember).
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 11:41 PM
7

Well, none are 100% failsafe. And that is when you're using your method correctly. To a certain extent: if you're going to be having sex, you need to take responsibility that a child may come of that. And that child will tie you to that man for the rest of your life (regardless of if you marry him or not).
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 02:16 AM
3

How much of your time with your SO is "quiet" vs. hanging out and actively engaging with each other? Been married 11yrs, we spend most of our down time in the same room doing different things. Typically, I watch TV and he plays computer games. What I noticed with my parents growing up: they did not "actively engage" with each other all day all the time. My husband once told me that while he enjoyed active discussion and debate, what is more important in a long term partner is being able to sit w…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/20 02:12 AM
7

I know I am somewhat attractive however i have many insecurities Surgery won't fix your insecurities. You'll always be able to find something that needs to be "fixed" because nature is never perfect. You should feel more comfortable in your own skin before changing anything.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/20 02:14 AM
8

I nominate you for a star, u/pearlsandstilettos
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/20 10:28 AM
2

don't fall into the trap of making that apart of who you are and letting a diagnosis write your book. Or, allow your diagnosis to excuse bad behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/20 04:53 PM
7

I was married at 22. I hadn't finished my bachelor's. It is okay if your first few relationships don't work out. Do not fall into the trap that you have to marry the first guy you have a serious relationship with. Yes, approach any romantic relationship with marriage in mind. If you want kids, don't go dating someone who flatly refuses. But, you still are vetting. It doesn't even mean that the guy is a bad guy but rather that he's not right for you. I was lucky, I escaped that trap prior to dati…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/20 04:49 PM
11

That is a wonderful analogy!
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/20 01:20 PM
9

Yes, cut him off. He's stringing you along. Find someone better who will appreciate you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 10:12 AM
2

I’d interview female pharmacists who live and work where you want to settle after school. This is something you should definitely do. You want to know what it was like for them. Also something to ask: what is the general career path and is it changing. Additionally: ask them what their fellow pharm students who dropped out/didn't pursue a PhD do. It might turn out that you discover that what you want to do, you can with less education. I would also take some time to think about whether or not yo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 02:04 AM
1

Could you afford to send your oldest to a daycare one day a week? Use the day as a mommy/baby day and to catch up on sleep? That way he gets some social interaction and you get a break. Regardless, this period of time is difficult. It is okay if the house is not perfectly tidy and you eat out sometimes. You cannot do it all and that is okay. Especially if trying to do it all makes you an emotional wreck. Better to spend some time enjoying this stage of their life with a house that is a bit messy…
/r/RedPillWives24/02/20 10:48 PM
25

People will realize what it going on soon enough. It will reflect badly on her only if you do not react. Act as if you haven't noticed, be gracious. Kill her with kindness. Generally, be professional, that is what most people want from their colleague. Someone pleasant to work with (that doesn't mean agree to get along, just don't be a jerk when you disagree).
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/20 10:34 PM
8

Scheduling his "friend date" on Valentine's. REALLY?!? Not just that, but he was aware and lied to OP about knowing that when he scheduled! He asking her if she had feelings for him and her saying "Yes." REALLY?!? Oh but don't worry, he doesn't see a future with her /s His action of brushing off your concern and expression of how it makes you uncomfortable... REALLY?!? Can I ask what would happen if you went on a "friends date" with a guy tonight. I could go on. Your life is too short to be some…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/20 02:46 AM
2

I'll advocate for skipping the 'level of education' deal-breaker - I'm highly educated, but my highschool drop out husband is much smarter and more worldly than me. People use 'level of education' as a proxy for 'intelligence', bit it often isn't. Same! My husband didn't finish college and I have a PhD. But he's definately more intelligent and worldly than I am.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/20 12:46 PM
6

I am working on losing 80 lbs (I’m down 20!). Congrats!
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/20 07:57 PM
3

Big dreams: To be involved in developing a new therapeutic that makes it through the clinical trial process. It is possible where I work, abet I'm very, very early in the process so I touch almost everything that goes through our pipeline. A perfectly clean apartment/house. I'm on maternity leave right now and been making a small dent in our disaster area that is our apartment. It has definitely helped me not feel as scattered. Medium sized dream: A recent dream is using my fabric scraps to make…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/20 07:56 PM
4

For anything I would highly recommend reading books - top 100 literature of all time, top 100 biographies or just pick people/stories about things youre interested in The more you read, its like tapping into the minds of others (not 5 minute spin articles on the web) - ultimately you tap into our deeper humanity you see through the eyes of 1000 souls and you never see anything the same again -> always something to talk about with anyone Audiobooks are really nice for this! You can "read" a book …
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 12:46 AM
2

I got married at 22yrs (husband was 30yrs). We dated for a year and were engaged for a year. I had not finished my bachelor's. I finished it a year into the marriage and then went straight to grad school. Finished grad school after 3 kids and 8 years. My husband worked the entire time. What do you want to do? Do you want to be a lawyer? Will you both be going into debt to get a law degree? Do you want kids? Do you think you'll want to stay home with the kids? How many kids? I know these seem lik…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/20 01:11 AM
3

An important thing is to make sure that you are wearing the correct bra. Otherwise, the top part of your hourglass will look unbalanced. Yes! Go to a proper bra store (not Victoria Secret) and get fitted. What I usually do is buy one or two bras in the store and then get any more online.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/20 12:45 PM
3

Don't buy pregnancy tests, unless you need them. You'll end up taking them for pretty much no reason and getting your hopes up. Wait until your missed period and then go get a pregnancy test. The $1 ones work just as well as the pricey ones. You can buy the strips off Amazon for super cheap. That's what I did for...either baby two or three. Just follow the instructions. Best of luck!
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/20 05:41 PM
4

On the one hand I do feel it would be nice to lend a voice You can use your Instagram for that. You don't the the journalist to do that. And if she is adversarial, it could backfire. but on the other hand it seems like a trap and everything I say will be spun or taken out of context. If you do decide to go ahead with the interview, record it on your end. That way you have proof of everything and the whole context of your quotes. I'd also not tell her unless required by law. PS: love the username…
/r/RedPillWives28/01/20 04:54 PM
20

On the one hand I do feel it would be nice to lend a voice You can use your Instagram for that. You don't the the journalist to do that. And if she is adversarial, it could backfire. but on the other hand it seems like a trap and everything I say will be spun or taken out of context. If you do decide to go ahead with the interview, record it on your end. That way you have proof of everything and the whole context of your quotes. I'd also not tell her unless required by law. PS: love the username…
/r/RedPillWives28/01/20 04:54 PM
5

Yeah, neither of you have legal protections if the worst happens. The is one of the benefits to marriage, everything is already laid out should, for example, someone passes away suddenly. Or leave and take all the cash in the account. Also why you shouldn't pay off your partners debt or buy a house together until married.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 07:49 PM
3

Ha. He wants to get laid, on a regular basis, and sees you as the most obvious outlet. Hard next. Find a guy who wants you for what you want, a relationship. You're 21. You don't have to settle for a castoff. Yup, you'll get tossed aside the minute he finds someone he sees as LTR material. Go find someone who sees you as LTR material.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 07:43 PM
8

If you hate your job anyway, I think it might benefit you to get one closer to home. Even if you feel the same way about it, the short commute will lessen your stress. Yup! And the benefit is that it could be better! And because you already have a job, you can be choosy about what you choose as well. I've done the long commute (+45min) and now I have a short one <10min. There is something about a long commute that is inherently stressful. Of course, I also dealt with traffic which might have add…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 06:11 PM
8

Yes! You cannot do it all when you work (full-time) outside the home. Especially when you've got a long commute.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 05:47 PM
4

lAt the end of the day, yes, it's true that there is a good two weeks or so of the month that we can't do it, BUT, this is more than made up for during the other half of the month. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/20 04:46 PM
6

Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. He's also got a huge number of videos on multiple topics on YouTube (including interviews about this book). I'd definately look into those. JBP made a difference in the life of a friend of my husband. Best of luck and congrats on the self-awareness!
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/20 04:17 AM
–

I wash my hair once a week and don't use any dry shampoo. No crunchiness. How necessary is the dry shampoo for you? r/haircarescience is a really useful resource for all things hair.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/20 09:16 PM
3

Oh mama! She sounds super tough. As others have said, this shall pass but that's hard to remember when in the moment. It is rough with such a needy baby. As for therapy, could you use some sort of tele-medicine? I know there are options for therapy (TalkService is one I've heard advertised). And then you can have baby with you and not have to deal with getting out of the house. And if you've used meds successfully in the past, now is the time to reintroduce them (assuming they are bf safe, of co…
/r/RedPillWives20/01/20 08:56 PM
28

Glad you guys got to talk and it went well. He's got valid concerns but nothing to freak over. Congrats! May the baby bring you great joy and happiness!
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/20 10:07 PM
5

Can we please stop shaming this pregnant woman for having another child? People critiquing you’re birth control don’t have a place- your body your choice and all that. Hear, hear! They both are adults who know the potential outcomes. Give him time to adjust. I always freak out when I find out I'm pregnant, but given time I become excited. My husband's response (joy) always helps. So assuming you're excited, just share that with him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 12:01 PM
17

I can’t explain the feeling it’s just a super sad feeling in my heart that I wish I waited just a little bit longer to meet him then he’d be my one & only. I actually cry my self to sleep about it Atleast once a week. This response is not normal. Regret is normal, but your response is extreme. You should go to therapy to work out both why this happened, to just let the grief out in a safe space, and to learn how to forgive yourself (forgiveness is not just for others). Should I tell him or deal …
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 05:04 PM
2

Go for it! The Eastern Catholics and Orthodox Christians do as it's on the older Julian calendar. Not on Jan 6th but on Jan 7th. Long story but it changed as the difference between the Julian and Gregorian calendars increased (I believe it happened in 1900, but don't quote me). Epiphany (commemoration of the visit of the Magi) is a uniquely Western Christian celebration. In that sense it is a continuation of Christmas. Orthodox Christians, on the other hand, include that event in the celebration…
/r/RedPillWives14/01/20 02:24 PM
3

We have two Christmases. One on the 25th with my family and the second is a religious celebration on Jan 7th (our church is on the Julian calendar). In addition to our usual weirdness, I had our fourth child on the 20th. We didn't go to church yesterday morning. My husband stayed home, which is unsual because he's a priest (thankfully he's the junior priest). It was nice having him around to help wrangle the older kids. We went to my parents around lunchtime and exchanged gifts and had dinner. T…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 05:51 PM
5

You can look up basic cooking demos on youtube or a cooking show. I would also suggest you learn a few basic skills (pan-cooked chicken or pork cutlets, rice, grilled veggies). Once you have those skills, you can switch it up, but most of my cooking for my family (H plus kids) is variation on a theme. My favorite food/recipe blogger Is Budget Bytes. She does step by step photo instructions. And she generally keeps the cost down (so you aren't spending a load of money while learning). When I got …
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/19 12:54 AM
5

Most of the time, you both discuss and come to an agreement. At least that is how my marriage works. But sometimes a decision needs to be made and you cannot come to an agreement. An example: letting our kids play on a trampoline. I was for and he was against (due to safety concerns). My parents have a trampoline. I told them that we didn't want them playing on it. I never implied that I disagreed with him. I left that at home. Eventually he and I came to a different agreement and they are now a…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/19 10:48 AM
28

Yeah, the thing is I just can't get used to be treated like that. He always says "you are fragile, delicate", and I cannot grasp the concept. Me? Fragile? How odd! Compared to a man, you are. If you both were to get into a physical altercation he could do a great deal of damage. To him, that is what he means when he says fragile and delicate. A man wants to protect, so when he talks to you like that what he is saying is that he wants to protect you. To cherish you. If I may make a suggestion: yo…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/19 11:47 PM
7

Yeah...that doesn't seem right. He needs to commit to you just as much as you commit to him. He's not doing that. I'd run. He wants sex without the work of a relationship. Fundamentally that is what FWBs are, regardless of how exclusive it is. If he wanted a relationship, you be in one.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 12:52 AM
6

Get an easy hairstyle. This means get one that works with your hair not against it. I have wavy hair and tried an asymmetrical Bob that would have worked better with straight hair. I don't blow dry or straighten. Never got in the habit, so I have a style that is a close to a wash and go as possible.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/19 12:53 PM
23

Thank you! I've had arousal issues for a while and you've given me a strategy. Granted, I know that some is due to physical things, but still this could mitigate it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/19 07:02 PM
14

You need to divorce, you cant keep a man trapped in a marriage when you dont want to be intimate with him. That isn't the problem. She wants to be intimate, but she doesn't get aroused. She needs to rewire her brain. Marriage is for the long haul, you don't just give up because something isn't working (especially when the individual realized it is a problem and wants to do the work to fix it).
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/19 07:00 PM
12

When it comes to having kids, there is never a good time. There will always be a reason to postpone. Whether it is starting/finishing school or waiting for a big promotion, or just starting a new job, or whatever. I had my first three in grad school and am pregnant with #4 now (I'm working FT). I do not regret starting our family at 25. It gave us the flexibility of having more should we choose. My boss has said that he wishes they could have more but due to age it is not happening for them (I h…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 12:46 AM
12

Admit it. Explain what about RPW speaks to you. It's terrible to have to hide your ideas and convictions. Awful. It eats at you. I do it with too many people in my life. It's become second nature to say the 'right' words instead of how I truly feel. Not with my husband, though. If he is you captain, you need to be able to tell him everything. One day, the truth will come out. And the longer you wait, the worse it will be. Because you're not telling him about who you are. He will feel betrayed an…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/19 02:59 AM
2

I will say that there is never a great time. No one wakes up one day and goes: you know in about 9mons I'll be good to handle less sleep. There will always be something at work or school to make you want to put it off. That doesn't mean that you need to start now (I know nothing about your specific situation), but that was advice given to me by a childless woman when we were newlyweds.
/r/RedPillWives23/11/19 06:46 PM
4

I'll add that you should be sure to ask for feedback. There might be something fundamentally wrong with your work but your boss doesn't manage well (aka isn't telling you this important information). Now, he might tell you that you've been doing great work. At which point you can ask why you aren't given more challenging work. And push back on "next time", point out that he's said that multiple times. I would be wary of going to war (as another poster put it) with your boss. It could damage your…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/19 02:33 AM
2

Oh thank you! Those look useful.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/19 03:52 AM
5

Then we had kids and for the past seven years I've had to modify my style to accomodate either pregnancy or breastfeeding! That's been me for the last seven years too! As for OPs question, I was a tomboy in high school. I wore wolf t-shirts and really didn't express feminine side until around 18. That's when I got my first professional haircut and really started to think about clothes as more than utilitarian. I still ran more towards t-shirts and jeans but I went for more form fitting things. T…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/19 01:16 AM
8

It seems like any movie or show that is a remake/sequel has been spoiled by SJWs. Usually the remake or sequel are not as good as the original but of late they are real duds because they are putting politics in front (at least previously they were trying to make money).
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 11:06 PM
3

Please do not subscribe to the belief that all young males are immediately prone to doing something so idiotic as saving sexual images of another woman on his phone, while in a relationship with another woman. She asked why he would have kept the images. It was extremely foolish of him to keep the pics (for many reasons). Even if he told her the truth (he did legit think it was funny): it was super short-sighted to keep that on his phone.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 12:52 AM
22

To me it makes sense that his friend send him those pics because he didn’t follow her at that time but i don’t understand why he would save them on his phone. He kept them because he's male and they were of a semi-nude female. It's that simple. He lied about it because he knew he'd get grief. Now, after all of this he tried going through my phone? Kinda like really trying to find something simular so he could but blame on me too and find sometjing to get mad at me for (that’s why i think he was …
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/19 06:21 PM
2

I really like this advice. It seems similar to my read of OPs husband. He's stressed and taking it out on OP. Now, that is not fair (obviously), but it up to OP to decide if she is okay with that. I don't know the situation well enough to evaluate if he is over-reacting to his stressors. That being said: I would view the his threatening of divorce very seriously. That is not okay. At best it is a sign of immaturity. But that doesn't mean you promptly walk out the door; but keep an eye on this (i…
/r/RedPillWives07/11/19 11:24 PM
13

I don't know about any recipe books, but I've really liked Budget Bytes. She has step by step photo instructions and also includes information about meal prep and how to freeze certain items. Finally: she doesn't cook things from cans like a lot of budget friendly recipes. She uses frozen or fresh.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/19 02:40 AM
2

Mackenzie Davis has been in pixie cuts in some roles. She’s attractive. It is a cut that can be very feminine, you have to style it right. I don’t know how deep the cleft is or how I would feel about it until I saw it. I'm guessing she got it reversed as a baby (very normal unless she was born in a developing country), but there is usually scaring. Though OP could correct me on this. Regardless, OP work on developing your skills and personality. As others have said, beauty only opens the door. B…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/19 12:45 PM
1

My GP told me that it typically takes at least three tries to find a therapist who clicks with you.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/19 11:06 PM
5

Re: they complain they dont see you enough, but rarely come to visit. They are presumably old. children visit their parents, not the other way around. This is normal. As one ages, traveling becomes more of an inconvenience and bother. Some of it is dealing with the unfamiliar and some of it is simply your body doesn't work as well. It is hard enough for me in my early 30s to sleep in another bed, I can't imagine what it would be like in my 60s. Regardless, grandkids may change their tune about t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/19 11:40 PM
5

I've never been much of a Twitter person, but I found myself to be much happier when I dropped FB.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 09:47 PM
1

Tracking calories is a good idea. I've used fitness pal in the past (the free version; for losing weight). It helps one to be mindful, which is helpful regardless whether you're trying to lose or gain weight. But fundamentally some people just have crazy metabolisms, does/did your parents have a similar body type at your age?
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/19 10:37 PM
8

Well, you need to make a few decisions. The first is if you can live with a man who has cheated on you. And will probably do so again (because you have let him do so without serious consequences). Part of this is considering what kind of example your relationship will be for your children because they will find out at some point that their dad is a cheater and their mom either stayed or left because of it. I understand not wanting to get a divorce, especially with children. Unfortunately he's pu…
/r/RedPillWives22/10/19 01:08 AM
2

I don't like the word submission in part because the connotations of slavery and abuse that have been attached to the word. I like to think of the RP relationship dynamic more in a giving of deference. You give someone you respect deference for their opinions, etc. He has earned the deference, while submission implies that it his due just because he's male. This seems more adult and active than submission. You aren't the ship's boy but rather the First Mate; a person worthy of respect because yo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/19 05:36 PM
11

I personally do not present red-pilled to men who cannot afford to take care of me more than comfortably. There is give and take here. If the man is up and coming, then some sacrifice is okay. But if he's lazy, etc then run. And it depends on your and his age. Like if he is 40 and still up and coming, not the same as fresh out of college. It is really case by case.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/19 09:45 PM
2

I hate chipped polish and I’m also pretty rough on my hands. Ditto. Chipped nails drive me bonkers. I don't have the time to do my nails more than once a week and it isn't worth it for me if I get a chip on day two.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/19 10:38 PM
3

This world is full of women who are now insisting housework be equal. Not exactly what I think a red pill wife should stand for? Do you? I disagree. Times have changed, women are in the workforce. This severely limits the time to ensure things are clean and in tip top shape. I don't think that women should push for it just because "men need to do more" but, depending on their personality, outside workload, and family structure/size, it does make sense to ask for help from their spouse. And to wo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/19 02:26 AM
4

In my experience: it really depends on the workplace. A lot has to do with how effective the manager(s) are. Both in attracting/vetting talent and as well as mantaining professional norms in the workplace. The manager is the one that sets the tone. My last boss was no nonsense, so she attracted the type of person who handles that well. Even when the group was 100% female there wasn't any cliques or cattiness. The head of department at my current workplace is extremely laid back about certain thi…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/19 02:12 AM
12

One of the most recent feminist battlecries that has me raising my eyebrows is the notion of "emotional labor." As if men leaning on their wives/girlfriends for emotional support is somehow a form of oppression. I hate these kinds of things. Because it also implies that men don't care or support their women. Let me say: I'm the emotional person in our relationship (generally), I get way more overt "emotional support" from my husband than he gets from me. And let's not even get into the privilege…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 10:13 PM
–

That was my first thought, too. But I read that bleach can damage porcelain. Considering that we're renting, I want to be very careful.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 12:51 PM
15

Yes, I think some of this is attitude. If you act like a harpy, it won't matter how beautiful you are. Also, having his children helps. There is something about that which puts a powerful pair of goggles on.
/r/RedPillWives06/10/19 12:50 AM
–

I'm embarrassed to admit: I have green and brown stains in my toilet bowl. Anyone have tips to both get rid of these and keep them away (especially because I have small kids who don't always flush when they pee).
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/19 05:40 PM
2

If he's wise outside the home, he's not constantly making bad decisions. he's only making bad decisions around YOU. And likely you're pushing him into it, or nitpicking, or he's simply making decisions that are different (not wrong) from what you'd choose. This is all you. One of the things many people have to learn is that just because someone does something differently doesn't mean it is inherently wrong. Also, OP gives us only a single example. And while she was correct on many levels (it was…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 12:18 AM
3

If you don't mind moving way far away, Alaska has almost all of what you're looking for, too! Spent 6 weeks in AK the summer after I graduated high school. I would agree, assuming you don't mind super cold winters. What I noticed is that the people there tend to be more community minded. I live in the DC area. I can tell you, it definitely does not fit your criteria. But might be worth looking at Western MD or WV. At least as far as housing prices goes.
/r/RedPillWives02/10/19 10:34 PM
5

I am fully aware of the sacrifices made by military members and their families. My family and most of my friends are related to the military in one way or another. My sister is a military spouse, most of my girlfriends are milspouses, and I work for two high-ranking military officers as a nanny. All of these people are familiar with his line of work and find his demands outrageous. They tell me this is not normal and I need to get out ASAP. This morning I talked to another military spouse who sp…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 12:02 AM
2

If he is the type of Christian who takes the Bible literally and you consider the stories as tales of morality, you might fundamentally incompatible at this time. He is correct that this is a big deal, he is doing his own soul searching. Because he needs to figure out how devoted he is to the faith he was raised in.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/19 10:38 AM
3

I still can't really come to terms with the fact (?) that woman don't love like men do. It seems cruel to me somehow I don't know. How did you manage to accept it? And also take the best out of it? Let me ask this: is it bad if women love differently than men do? Personally I don't think it is. What it does mean is that we need to understand how to communicate that love to the opposite sex. An example: one of the ways to communicate love to a man is through showing respect. Most women don't real…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/19 11:25 AM
2

basically he has a degree in a niche scientific field that you really can't get a job in without a masters or PHD. and he doesn't want to do that. He hasn't even had any internship experience in his field, just a degree, so i don't know if he could even find related work. Basically his resume reads "finished college with no internship or experience" "2 year gap" "unrelated job". He knows his only recourse really is to go back to school, but he doesn't want to do that again. So I don't know what …
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/19 11:04 PM
2

Did I understand correctly, the city you live in doesn't have a lot of opportunities for him but he also is the one who choose that city? If that is the case, he needs to make a choice: a job in his field or the city he loves. Listen, I'm in a scientific field; there are a lot of things he's learned that can be translated into other fields. For example, he could get into policy writing. Is he realistic about his career goals? Is he complaining while job searching or just generally complaining? I…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 10:32 PM
2

I'd get a second or third opinion from a gyn, preferably once with experience with endometriosis and PCOS. It is quite common for women with both those problems to get ignored. The genetics angle doesn't really help because it could be that your family has a history of endometriosis. If you get your thyroid checked, make sure you get all the hormones checked (usually they just check two, which might miss some things).
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 12:01 AM
8

I read somewhere about a mouse study, where they looked into this question. They found that the male mice had worse symptoms than the females (ie slightly higher fever). Granted mice aren't people, but interesting nonetheless.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 12:34 AM
2

Molecular biology
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 10:09 AM
7

I think that we are our own worst critics. Guys (on average) are pretty forgiving of weight/chubbiness. Just like women are. The average woman doesn't need her man to have a model's body but she also doesn't want someone who is 400lbs. A nice body is a perk but not the end all and be all. Also: they totally get "she's had my kids" glasses. I'm pretty sure my husband is more attracted to me after having three kids than before.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 11:25 PM
12

Or get he gets disabled. I generally agree, though a PhD might be excessive for if you're thinking about a failsafe. As someone with a (STEM) PhD, I would not suggest unless you plan on using it in someway post-grad school. It takes precious time away from decent pay and (more importantly) fertility. Unless you're crazy, like myself, and have three kids in grad school.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 11:07 PM
135

She's trying to get in bed with your husband, if not outright steal him from you. She undermines you in front of both him and the kids. Nothing about this situation describes "friend" to me. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/19 01:56 AM
20

Shortly after I gave birth to my second child, at home by accident. It was very much a "I am woman, hear me roar" moment once it hit me what I had done. It is the most empowering thing I've ever done. The second time I did that (yes, I have had two unplanned homebirths) was also empowering but not as much as the first. Not sure why, considering the second time around my husband barely made it in time to catch the baby and the EMTs were like 5mins behind him (the first unplanned homebirth had my …
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 06:30 PM
32

Health wise: start taking prenatals ASAP. The longer you have elevated folate levels the better. Some drs say to do so at least a year in advance. Granted, I'm the mom that forgets to take them about 2/3rds of the way through the first trimester - all my kids are fine. A year prior was not happening (none of mine were planned exactly anyways). Don't read horror stories. Hard to avoid but while there are an infinate number of things that could go wrong, most people have a normal, uncomplicated pr…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/19 10:44 PM
9

Little House on the Prairie, The Chronicles of Narnia, I would highly suggest these (I haven't read the others). Also Misty of Chincoteague (a horse book); Boxcar Children (mystery series); The Secret Garden; Wind In The Willows; and The Little Princess. I've loved anything Gail Carson Levine has done. Ella Enchanted (her first book) might be a tall order for a second grader; it would depend on how much of a reader she is. But GCL's series "The Princess Tales" are short and extremely enjoyable. …
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 12:11 AM
2

Yup, if that is too expensive a gift card to someplace like Panera is also a good idea.
/r/RedPillWives24/08/19 06:05 PM
1

Trust. Your. Gut. Yes! You can rationalize anything away but something is telling you to be careful, trust it. Also, if he is a worship leader at your church, you should have some idea what the preaching is on where the line of what can be done before marriage and cannot as far as physical intimacy goes. If also watch to see if he practices what is preached.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 01:21 AM
4

I'm sorry you're going through this. May you get the healing (mental, spiritual, and physical) you desperately need!
/r/RedPillWives23/08/19 11:57 AM
13

#2, Maybe investing in some synthetic lube would be good? Yes, use lube and don't be afraid of it! I was also a virgin our wedding night, and it was painful for me, we didn't even get full penetration that night. We didn't succeed until a few nights after when we accidentally used too much. Foreplay etc is good too, but you're probably a bit gun shy now (so was I), so foreplay will help but not as much as lube. And u/secretladyaccount is right: a man wants his woman to enjoy it! So don't take an…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 02:00 AM
2

However, if it really bothers you, being assertive and guarding your SO would come off as being insecure, surely. There is nothing like mate guarding to show how insecure a person is about their relationship (regardless of the sex of the individual). You're right to be annoyed. What she did was rude, but "never interrupt an enemy making a mistake." By ignoring you, she's shown her classiness.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/19 10:46 PM
2

Big Dave Ramsey fan here. He brings good, old fashioned common sense to your dollars and cents (to paraphrase him). He's got a book, daily podcast, and classes. We were able to just use the (free) podcast to meet many of our goals.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/19 08:43 PM
1

When we got married, we knew that I would eventually make more (he's clergy and I have a PhD in a STEM field). One thing that helps is merging accounts and making any money "ours" vs "his/mine". But: don't do this until you have the legal protections of marriage. The others advice of making sure you have other ways to respect him is important. Like I said my husband is clergy, one of the reasons I married him is because I saw him as a good spiritual leader (he was not clergy until we had been ma…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 02:46 AM
10

You think it's bad now? Just wait until you have children, she's will undermine your every decision. I was thinking the same thing. Of he can't maintain his boundaries now (and blames you when you point this out), he never will. Marriage won't fix this, having kids will make it infinitely worse, living together is bringing this to the fore. Harsh reality is that you either need to accept that his mom will always be involved and he won't stand up to her or you need to realize that you can't play …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/19 11:55 PM
1

Fair enough! I'd love to go off them, and plan on trying, but I absolutely cannot while pregnant (I've tried twice) or postpartum. Glad you've found what works!
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 01:54 AM
1

Here something else: you know what works and doesn't. Finding meds (as I'm sure you know) can be very difficult for mental health disorders. And there are meds that are safe for pregnancy. I'm currently on Zoloft, which I've been on three out of four pregnancies (currently pregnant).
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 01:34 AM
2

My experience has been that my husband has wife/mother-of-my-children goggles. Both during and after. I think there is something about the fact that...they are that virulent is a huge turn on to them. I have stretch marks (some of that is definately genetics). And my boobs are huge (34J), they never got back to their original size, not that my husband minds ;) But for my weight: it really depended on the pregnancy. With my eldest, I gain 30lbs (within what the doctors expected) and lost 50lbs af…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 12:05 AM
1

This in many ways the religious aspect was the most concerning. It isn't enough for a couple to be of the same religion but of the same religiosity. Take it to extremes: a person who only goes to church for Christmas and Easter marrying someone who goes daily, there are going to be deep seated issues. It sounds like you're much deeper into your faith while he's a surface level. Not only that but he is okay with staying there. He doesn't think to go to church (fellowship is a fundamental part of …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/19 10:30 PM
3

Have you told him? It sounds like he is busy (just like you) and when he's done he needs to veg (hence the scrolling or video games). My husband is one of those who thinks that because we are in the same room, we are spending time together. But that doesn't work for me, partially because I need touch (my love language is physical). Your husband might think the same way. Being an RPW doesn't mean doormat who doesn't communicate her needs. It does affect how you communicate them. As in tell him yo…
/r/RedPillWives27/07/19 10:55 AM
4

1) no I don't identify as a feminist. But that has more to due with the current definition of feminism (which has move from ensuring men and women have equal opportunities to hating men). 2) I don't see why not. The RP is fairly flexible in it's application. A lot of it is recognizing how men and women are different and what they tend to want in a partner. And while men tend to want a submissive wife that doesn't mean they want a doormat either. My husband and I aren't tranditional red pill. For…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 11:29 PM
1

If you sleep with a patient's partner, you need to be reported, regardless of what kind of medical profession. It is a huge violation of trust, unethical, and says a lot about the midwife's judgement. If I heard that my midwife did something similar, I'd leave.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 09:18 PM
2

I realize physical activity is straight out right now. Have you considered doing some baby-related crafting? Like sewing some bibs for the baby? There are lots of free patterns online and they are very easy. That way you are keeping your hands busy and you have something to complete and it is something that may help with the nesting. And trust me, you can never have too many bibs. Best of luck! You're in the homestretch!
/r/RedPillWives18/06/19 12:38 PM
5

I'm a wash and go kinda girl. In the last few years I've changed a few things. For reference I have slightly wavy hair that is thick and to my shoulder blades, my tendency is for fly-aways and occasional dizziness (due to weather). 1) I only wash/condition once a week 2) I almost never use a brush. I occasionally use a wide toothed comb. 3) I use some product to prevent fly-aways (and I rinse it out in the evening). This has greatly improved my hair appearance. I used to have a bit of a messy ap…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 09:36 PM
6

I was 20, he was 28. Known each other for about a year before we started dating. Talked about getting married on our first date. Engaged after a little over a year and married a year after the engagement. Been married for 10yrs, in that time there has been an ordination (his), PhD (mine), and three kids with another on the way. But I'd definitely say that it coming up on the first date is unusual. It worked for us; but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to everyone.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/19 01:49 AM
20

Yup. Jordan Peterson at one point talked about how our culture focuses so much on self esteem that we forgot that self esteem cannot come from nothing. Rather then focusing on self esteem, focus on accomplishing something. Even if it making the best grilled cheese ever!
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/19 08:45 PM
3

Yeah some kids just refuse bottles. I know a woman whose eldest would only drink out of a regular cup. And she went back to work when the baby was like 3mon. So it can be done
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 04:45 PM
3

I EBF all three kids. Are you trying this now or just thinking ahead? I just had my husband give the baby of warm milk. I had no issues, they weren't picky at all as far as the bottle went. Though I wasn't always able to give them a bottle (they knew where the good stuff was). For the first I waited a month until breastfeeding was well established. For the others I was looser. I never had issues of them taking the bottle over me.
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 02:40 PM
2

No Covert expectations or contracts. No love bombing Father’s Day in the hope that he will reciprocate. That’s only going to set you up for disappointment. And it’s ok to communicate your disappointment and hurt in a gentle and non accusatory way. Men aren’t mind readers, but it’s ok to have your feelings of disappointment. Yes, you need to communicate your needs and wants! Being a RedPill woman doesn't mean being a doormat and ignoring how you feel. Also, you seem to have had an extreme reactio…
/r/RedPillWives14/05/19 01:25 AM
2

While I generally agree, one thing I would disagree with is saying you have a boyfriend (unless that is true) because that a) isn't a deterrent to some and b) they may take it as "I'll go out with you when I'm next single" rather than the gentle "I'm not interested". Which means they don't stop. This guy has proven that he doesn't understand (due to cultural differences) or straight up ignores subtle hints. OP, something to keep in mind: you aren't making things awkward, he is. I'd just be blunt…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/19 11:25 PM
2

I have had three kids. My first ended in a c-section (pro-tip: don't deliver at teaching hospitals). Had I been in a birthing center, I probably would not have. Rather I would have been able to be in a position that would have allowed him to come out. My second two were precipitous births. Forget getting to the hospital, I didn't make it out the front door! The first home birth, had my doula and EMTs present. For the second one, the EMTs didn't make it until after the baby was born (so the deliv…
/r/RedPillWives23/03/19 11:45 PM
3

When things go bad during childbirth, they tend to do so very quickly.
/r/RedPillWives23/03/19 11:39 PM
2

How have you been telling him? Lots of times (especially when talking about sex) we think we're being direct when we are actually not being blunt. It isn't easy, but being painfully direct is usually the way to go when it comes to what you want in sex. Guys tend to appreciate that kind of bluntness. Do you ask in the moment? Or just hope he remembers? I ask because I've had problems remembering that my husband isn't a mind-reader. They want to get you off, but most guys don't really understand t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/19 11:43 PM
4

This is a good point! I always had low iron later in pregnancy. It may not help with the pain, but at least you might not be (as) exhausted! I would talk to your Ob/Midwife about the pain. They may be able to suggest something to help.
/r/RedPillWives14/03/19 11:33 PM
2

I personally like spreadsheets because of the flexibility. I have tried Mint and EveryDollar, and while being able to have all the bank stuff downloaded is really nice, they just couldn't do everything I wanted.
/r/RedPillWives12/03/19 01:14 PM
4

I like Dave Ramsey's ideas about how to do finances when married. In our household, I'm the detailed person so I make the budget and then we discuss. He has final say, but generally we work together.
/r/RedPillWives11/03/19 12:28 PM
4

Why don't you want to date guys your age or slightly older? I don't understand your comment about how they would only bring sex and companionship because they aren't going to bring you money now, but one could consider a relationship like an investment. Most people spend their first few years of marriage not as well off because they are both starting their careers. Are there other things about the average man in your age group that you find unattractive? I know it is hard with the studying but y…
/r/RedPillWives01/03/19 01:09 AM
2

Do it! Get rid of those awful reminders! I don't see it as deceptive because I'm assuming this is a period in your life that you would be open about with an SO. And when it comes up, be as matter-of-fact about it as you are here. You've grown, you've realized that was stupid and unhelpful.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 08:17 PM
3

My husband is an Orthodox Christian priest. And clergy in the Orthodox Church are technically not supposed to dance in public. Which means at weddings, I don't get to dance (no one ever thinks of the priest wives). That being said, we could in the privacy of our own home dance together. We just don't because he isn't that type of guy. Have you asked if you could just the two of you? That way if he is worried about his appearance, then it is only you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 05:34 PM
–

Tonight it is chicken marinaded in a balsamic vinegar, Olive oil, brown sugar marinade with chopped potatoes and onions on the bottom of the dish. For veg, probably steamed green beans. It is a classic in our house and I'm trying to get rid of the chicken before lent starts (I'm Orthodox and this is the last week we eat meat). I have no idea what is happening for the rest of the week other than chicken leftovers from tonight and last night.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 11:57 PM
–

What is lazy chicken pot pie?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 11:52 PM
7

My captain happens to be a narcissistic man. On my behalf, I was trying to achieve the image of a unicorn as such. Very loyal, submissive, forgiving.. I wanted to live up to a wifey role Listen, until that wedding ring is on your finger, you aren't his wife...so why are you acting like one? You need to be vetting at some level until you are there. He doesn't just get your loyalty for the rest of your natural lives because you're dating. Sorry, he needs to prove that he is good husband/father mat…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 01:46 AM
3

With my second, my libido was super low until she stopped breastfeeding. My youngest is breastfeeding (he's under a year) and my libido is low. Problem is that I always get ante-/post-partum depression so I'm never sure if it is the breastfeeding, depression, meds, or combination that is affecting my libido. I know that sex is important to my husband so I still "put out" and try to keep the starfish far away from our bedroom activities.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 11:27 PM
14

Once I got the all clear we did try but it was quite painful for me until around 6 months PP. We just did oral and would always try penetration. Use lots of lube and foreplay. He needs to treat you like a virgin again for a while. That depends. I've had three kids and I didn't have that issue. I'd keep it in mind as a possibility (I did) but you don't have to go into the postpartum period thinking that this will happen. If you breastfeed, there will be nipple sensitivity no matter what (early on…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 05:35 PM
5

I always use Beautypedia. I don't use the line produced by the author (conflict of interest) but I have found that all her suggestions have been great.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/19 03:29 PM
2

He sounds stressed. And has been for some time. A job search on top of a regular job is no joke (as someone in the process of doing that). I know you say that you're financially well, but does he feel that way? Everyone's level of what being financially secure is different, and it can change (especially with the new responsibility of a baby). The suggestion of others to ask about infidelity is good (just to make sure). And suggesting going to the doctor for a check-up isn't bad either. I'd also …
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 11:47 PM
2

Really, what is the source (not that I don't trust you, just curious)?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/19 03:31 AM
3

I love Ask A Manager for this kind of work stuff. That link is specifically for weddings but she has also given advice to those who don't want to merge work and private life.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 11:13 AM
1

I really enjoyed the AlphaMom pregnancy calendar. They are weekly emails, written by one of their columnists when she was pregnant with her second child. Good sense of humor. I ended up using it for two of my kids.
/r/RedPillWives27/01/19 02:05 AM
4

YouTube: Jordan B Peterson - A research and clinical psychologist. He focuses very closely on the available data, which ends up countering the current prevaling views. He is profoundly anti-Marxist. He also anathor Stefan Molyneux - philosopher and commentator. He also has a weekly call in show. I found that his interviews and his "Truth About" series are the best. He tends to be at his best when he's done a lot of research (IMO), he's moved to more topical stuff of late so I don't watch/listen …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 03:52 AM
12

My husband says that he loves my body as it is now more than ever (unprompted, I should note). I am 25lbs heavier than our wedding day (in all fairness I was a good 10lbs underweight) and have had three kids. This means saggy skin above my pelvic bone and boobs that are...huge (talking H-J cup range). Not to mention the stretch marks. I really don't understand how he likes my body as compared to when we got married. But one of the reasons I married him was his honesty so I trust him when he says…
/r/RedPillWives22/01/19 05:32 PM
2

Chick Fila A is an American fast food chain that is very family friendly, I know of only one stand alone location that does not have a playplace. It isn't that books/chess are bad, but most younger kids need to burn a lot of energy. It is hard when the weather is bad or someone is sick or there is a baby in the house. And it isn't something that usually doesn't become apparent until the afternoon/evening. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 11:53 PM
2

I have a 5yo, we are dealing with a lot of the same dramatics. It is a rough time in that department.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 05:11 PM
2

Okay so he definitely needs the sleep. If you were willing to do it, you might try for longer (like 2.5wks). See if he ends up normalizing. I can tell you my kids have definitely done the "let's drive mommy and daddy crazy until 10" before. It hasn't been as much of an issue now that the 5yo is in school. That tires him right up! Which brings a question to mind: how active is he during the day? It might be that you haven't gotten him tired enough through exercise. I know this time of year is tou…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 05:10 PM
3

I think he is just extremely intense in his emotions. Losing a game is like losing a parent. Daddy coming back from work is like winning the world cup. That is being a 5yo. I'd be careful about magnesium without your pediatrician being involved. Too much Mg can give you heart palpitations and diarrhea.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 04:58 PM
2

Is he cranky the next day? And how many days in a row have you tried it? It might be that he just doesn't need as much sleep as the average child.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 04:55 PM
1

We call those discretionary allowances "blow money". Essentially, it is money that we can use that the other has no say in (within reason). Mainly we both use it for grabbing a bite to eat instead of packing something from home. But I have saved mine and then used it for a pair of earrings I've wanted or the like. We used to call it allowances, but it was infantilizing. There was something really skeevy about saying "oh yeah he used his allowance to buy x,y,z". Made it sound like I wore the pant…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/19 07:51 PM
5

I also didn't care if they didn't want to SLEEP, they just had to be quiet in their bed. This is what we tend to do (after our routine). They have to stay in their bed (though we only police that when they are loud). A consequence to not being quiet was things (toys usually) being taken away for the night.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 01:08 AM
3

Use your strengths and knowledge. The key is that niether of you are out of the loop when it comes to finances. One person may do the day-to-day and prepping the budget (in our household that is me) but the budget as a whole should be discussed and agreed upon by both parties. Why? Because the party without input becomes essentially a child. He can still take a leadership role (think setting priorities) while you handle implementation.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/19 07:49 PM
2

I would be careful about becoming a vet. It is harder to get into vet school than it is med school, it is just as expensive, and you get paid less at the end. It is definitely a labor of love. But hey, no insurance companies to deal with!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/19 02:11 AM
1

I would watch this, it is a Stephan Molyneux interview discussing doctor suicide and the current state of healthcare. Also, you have options you haven't considered. You could go into the private sector with your degree. No extra schooling required. You have knowledge and skills that would be useful. I have a PhD in biology and have been on the job market. So I see a job descriptions that you could fulfill. It might be worth it to look at job descriptions. Indeed.com is really useful for this fie…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/19 01:55 AM
5

Gibson Tuck! . This is my go-to "fancy" hairstyle. Always get complements.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/19 01:21 AM
0

I was just starting in on my youngest's clothes! He's switching sizes so I put the old stuff into a bin to get ready to see via Craigslist and now I'm folding all the new sizes. Did you buy her boxes or are you using your own?
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 01:50 PM
0

Our Christmas is Monday and my husband is clergy, so there isn't much extra self care happening this weekend. I'd love to paint my nails, but we shall see
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 01:48 PM
5

I agree, tell his father. Never ever keep secrets like this from your SO. But you could talk to the son first: "Say something like, considering what we talked about the other day, I don't feel comfortable with keeping that from your father. Especially because you made the smart decision to unfriend that person (many adults are not that smart and get themselves and loved ones into trouble). Would you like to say something to him first? If you want, you can take some time to think about it". Give …
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/18 11:10 PM
3

In college, I used to live in a heavily Hispanic area (on the east coast), that is the only time I've had people honk/catcall. Even then, it was only when I waited for the bus (so on a main road).
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 08:15 PM
–

I don't typically make resolutions. Though my current goal is to track my caloric intake at least 5 days a week. I found that just doing that limits how much I eat and I can lose weight that way. I'm not the type to make big changes (I have a hard time making them stick) and I'm breastfeeding so doing that could mess with my supply anyways. As for plans: staying home and watching Live PD with my husband. We had a party we used to go to, but my husband was accosted at last year's because he is a …
/r/RedPillWives30/12/18 05:17 PM
3

FYI, love the username Also, why are you being down voted?
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 05:05 PM
1

Him telling me that he expects me to wear makeup when we go out He wants to show you off. Which is also why he wants sexy clothes. If he didn't like how you look without makeup, he'd ask you to wear it all the time. If you want to dress more modestly out. A) talk to him about why and B) be prepared to be a sexy kitten at home. Also I'd start the modesty conversation with asking what it means to him for you to dress sexy. Maybe he wants you to wear heels with a dresses at the knee while you're th…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 05:04 PM
2

Well that is constructive.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 04:53 PM
1

Yeah guys tend to not understand makeup in a big way. Anytime they talk about your looks in reference to makeup, you need to ask clarifying questions.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 04:52 PM
3

I will also add that it is a good sign that he is setting boundaries. Be supportive and have his back. That is what he needs. Do not (I repeat do not) try to intervene on his behalf, as tempting as it is. This will only make you evil-girlfriend-from-hell in their eyes. And anything he says regarding the matter will be seen as from you. Is he an only child?
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/18 04:45 PM
10

Precisely! You have inadvertently become mommy 2.0 in the food department. My grandfather couldn't boil and egg to save himself, he ended up learning how to cook when my grandmother got sick when he was 60+. He now is self sufficient in that department (thankfully, my grandmother passed away a few years ago). But I'm certain that it would have been helpful for him to be able to cook many times while they were married. Is this what you want? Because there is a strong potential that this is what y…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/18 03:30 PM
–

Sleep is the main thing I need for self care. I get really moody when I'm tired. Every Sunday afternoon after church the baby and I go home and nap while he takes the older two to Sunday School. I should be doing just about anything else, but I feel so much better after my Sunday afternoon nap! It sets up my whole week.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/18 03:03 AM
10

My boyfriend on the other hand loves when a girl wear black and very sexy clothes He wants to show you off. You are a catch and he got you. Have you considered keeping his style preference in mind for around the house and date night? While wearing your preferences to work or a girl's night? You seem to think this is an all or nothing situation. Can you...blend the styles?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 02:28 AM
14

Maybe it's just the women in my area. It is cultural. Thanks to feminism, there is a selfishness when it comes to how women approach sex. And you are applauded when you "establish your boundaries". As others have noted, this erodes the marriage because how men tend to work.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 02:06 AM
1

The sleep when the baby sleeps is really good advice. Hard (especially with an older one), but I wish I had paid more attention to it when I had my first. Rest is important and you can babywear while tidying. You really do need to rest, how much depends on a lot of factors (c section vs vaginal; if you tore). So pay attention to what your body is telling you. I found that if I over did it, I would have more bleeding/clotting. Do expect that you won't keep a 100% perfect house for the first month…
/r/RedPillWives11/12/18 02:27 AM
11

I may be out on a limb, but this strikes me as "crabs in a bucket" mentality [...] Many times when women see you having something they do not, they will try to pull you down. It is also the case that people want their own life choices validated. This is immediately what came to my mind when I read the situation. She is using your husband as a way to validate her life choices. To convince herself that she made the right ones. Also if she has children and she talks about them that way...I'd stay a…
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/18 01:51 AM
3

If your hair isn't curly r/haircarescience is also a good place to start. Also, wash/shampoo your hair less often. I am at the point now where I wash it once a week. I rinse only if I've used product during the day.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 11:05 PM
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Budget Bytes! I made her Chicken Tikka Masala today. So good!
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/18 01:13 AM
3

It wasn't at night, but your second point stands
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/18 04:19 PM
2

You need to parse out what is just normal and what some women manage to get away with. For example, many women (not all, not all, not all, but most) will have extra skin around the front of their pelvic bone. It is skin that got stretched out that just won't go back to normal (how much depends on genetics, age, and how many pregnancies). Because of that, you'll look a bit bigger there even if you weigh close to pre-pregnancy. On the other hand, some women make motherhood an excuse why they don't…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/18 04:55 AM
5

All very good advice, I'll add that you can look on YouTube for advice with cutting out fabrics and other basics. Also, when doing a new pattern the first time, do it in cheap muslin (those at the fabric store will know what you're talking about). That way if the fit is strange or needs adjustment you can figure that out on cheap fabric.
/r/RedPillWives18/11/18 10:49 PM
35

You're right about how he is like a teenager. He doesn't seem to understand that some of his "concerns" aren't the result of pregnancy but rather having small children in the house. You look tired after having kids not because you have been pregnant but because babies are exhausting! Your personality doesn't change so much as your priorities shift, because you have children to care for! Hormones can cause you to be emotional, but it is more like...the peaks and valleys of emotions get exaggerate…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/18 11:18 AM
1

There is controversy over wether or not hormonal BC prevents implantation. Particularly the progesterone only pill (which is what I was taking at the time we made this decision). For us, it became too much of a risk. There are other aspects of hormonal BC that I have subsequently started to dislike. Chiefly that there is a big push to ignore or downplay (or downright discourage the research into) any potential drawbacks.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 08:37 AM
0

No hormonal birth control. There is too much of a risk (for us) that it would prevent implantation. We consider that abortive and therefore don't use it. Before anyone comments, we are aware how hormonal birth control works, our issue is that if it fails to preventing ovulation that it subsequently prevents implantation. We pullout or use condoms. We did do some natural family planning before my last child. My period still hasn't come back from my last kid so we cannot do that right now. My husb…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 01:50 AM
16

I get ante- and post-partum with every pregnancy (I've had three kids). I'm sorry, it sucks! I did not have an immediate connection with my eldest, it came with time. So don't worry about that. No advice but it does get better!
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 11:03 AM
1

Honestly, it sounds like she is being a burden not a help. Almost anything would be better than this. Could you instead hire a mom's helper for bad days? They are typically like a babysitter only you don't leave the house. Typically high schoolers or college students are who you are looking for. A college student is probably preferable for this time of year. You absolutely need to set boundaries. And you need to do it because he will become the evil SIL.
/r/RedPillWives19/10/18 12:20 AM
1

She could be jealous. She might want in her heart to be a SAHM but is listening too closely to the feminists and is trying to convince herself that working is the best thing. This all might be subconscious, too.
/r/RedPillWives17/10/18 12:45 AM
4

Currently in academia in the sciences. There is a push to hire based on sex, color, etc. Unfortunately, it means that higher quality candidates get passed over because of characteristics they cannot change. Also: they mention Sir Thomas Hunt at the end of the article. That was a hatchet job. Turns out he was making a joke about himself that an unethical journalist decided to make hay with.
/r/RedPillWives01/10/18 09:44 PM
7

You cannot force her to change her mind. That would be hard enough with, say, a friend, doubly so with your mom because she changed your diapers. If she is bringing stuff up in good faith (ie to actually discuss and hear your opinion), then it might be worth going down the rabbit hole. But if she is not, but rather trying to strong arm you into accepting her beliefs, then just be gracious and change the subject. Then is is a case of "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear", where she is not act…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 11:24 PM
5

I should add: a decent man won't next you because you have debt. You need to be honest and have a plan to get out of debt (and evidence that you've been holding to the plan). Dave Ramsey was an excellent help for my family when we were in debt
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 01:18 AM
1

I'll add that there is a chance you can start to have kids during residency. I know two psychiatric residents who have had a kid (each). I don't know how common it is in other residency programs. Also you sound like you're trapped and panicking. You seem to think that your options are: lonely life in medicine vs happy Stepford wife. Based on other commenters, that isn't necessarily the case, you have other options. You need to figure out what you want. Do you want to stay home with your kids? Do…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 01:13 AM
3

Thanks for sharing! I'm in an odd place with dresses right now. I need to be able to nurse but do not want to be boob-tacular! I have found a demi cami that has helped so much! It transforms any dress or shirt that would be too low and doesn't add an entire undershirt.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/18 04:10 PM
3

From what she says, it doesn't sound like it. If he does not own up to his mistakes, that is a big issue. And one that isn't likely to be fixed by you. The problem is that there is a good chance that he will just blame you. Even if you use the "bring him the problem, not the answer" approach.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/18 11:38 PM
5

I'm fairly open with him about the timings of my period. He doesn't particularly care and mine don't tend to be awful (cramp-wise), so it is usually more of a heads up if he wants to have sex. I tend to get a lot of yeast infections and if they reach a certain threshold, I'll tell him about that also. As for pregnancies, it has really depended. I tend to be a bit... paranoid, so I rarely tell him when I do a pee test. But when I get a positive; I'll tell him shortly after. How soon kinda depends…
/r/RedPillWives22/08/18 12:32 AM
2

I have a vague memory doing so the first time he brought it up. But, everything is a bit fuzzy the first few days postpartum. When I asked him about it the other day, he was very matter of fact.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/18 12:42 PM
1

Oh I totally asked why he had "done this to me" when I was in labor with my last (it never came up with the first two kids). I just asked him about it and he said "you were alone and I know what you meant". I was (I said it to him over the phone), he barely made it home in time to catch the baby. I think there is some truth to the husband's being nervous and not really knowing what to do. Especially when the wife is obviously in pain and his key role is to protect. There isn't much he can do to …
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/18 12:25 AM
6

"You're probably going to leave me now" is an attempt at reverse psychology. Yeah, that alone is a big red flag for me.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/18 08:19 PM
3

Why do these guys have to resort to mail order bride? I mean, yes in theory they get more loyal women but at a huge financial cost. And usually, these men have tried other methods and not found something. The women know on at least some lizard brain level that he is not a high value male and something is wrong with him (which he will prove because he is human). And then there are the inherent trust issues. He will never be sure that she's truly in love with him or his citizenship (even subconsci…
/r/RedPillWives15/08/18 06:03 PM
10

My parents got a housekeeper when I was older. She cleaned the common parts of the house and my parents' room and master bath. That way, it was (mostly) clean. The six kids (myself included) were responsible for our bedrooms, the upstairs bathroom and our play room. Obviously, your son isn't going to be cleaning much right now (especially a bathroom), but it is a place to start. Also, it was cheaper than having her do the whole house.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/18 03:25 PM
4

Did you change your appearance for your SO in some way, stopped or started wearing certain clothing or styles? The main thing I did was switch from contacts to glasses because he likes glasses. Other than that, not really. Does he care about modesty, or does he like you to look particularly good when going out? Yes, but not overly much. Even when we were younger and I dressed less modestly, he never really said anything except once or twice. We don't really go out much. And when we do, usually I…
/r/RedPillWives22/07/18 01:27 AM
2

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2

I choose boy for the heck of it. We already have our first and second (boy and girl, respectively), but I'd like the third (should we have more) be a boy because all my siblings alternated gender. Again, picked our favorites for the first two. Those names were essentially picked before we were even pregnant with the first (in part because they were family names). I haven't thought much about favorite names. I tend to like Celtic/Welsh sounding names.
/r/RedPillWives25/10/16 10:41 PM
3

What I was thinking. Unless, of course, you're willing to bring the kids
/r/RedPillWives06/10/16 12:20 AM
4

For a bunch of folks who proclaim to be fighting to push women up and raise them above the patriarchy, they are certainly much better at invalidating their own argument by discounting all women who disagree with them. In general I find it so odd when someone tells anyone (usually a white guy) about how their viewpoint is totally irrelevant just because they are [some perceived privileged class]. Especially since many of the conversations are surrounding how other's viewpoints/experience/rights h…
/r/RedPillWives04/10/16 12:14 AM
2

Meal planning really helps. Even if you don't end up following exactly (like I do every.single.time), it makes grocery shopping so much easier and you don't spend the day with "what the heck am I going to do for dinner" running through the back of your head. Simplify as much as possible. For example, find a hair cut/style that works with your hair and face. That way, you don't spend a ton of time (and money) styling it. So, I'm the oldest in a large family and we also homeschooled (half K-12th g…
/r/RedPillWives02/10/16 11:09 PM
3

-> No sex drive: a problem. If it's not just about the guy, but you generally have few to no urges to masturbate, few to no thoughts about sex, and the idea of giving yourself over to any guy scares or repulses you, then you need to work on that before starting a relationship with anyone. I'd also look at what you were taught about premarital sex. I was raised an Evangelical Christian and much I what I was taught at church was internalized as "sex=bad". They had some good points (especially if y…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/16 10:02 PM
2

I was thinking the same thing. Especially since she just got out of a relationship. It may not even be a conscious.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/16 09:50 PM
2

Do's: Keep in touch with friends and family. Don'ts: Air dirty laundry. Politics: for me mainly because DH is clergy and clergy and family aren't allowed to have political opinions (unless you agree with them). In depth theological discussions (in general but especially with people you don't know irl).
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/16 10:52 PM
3

Instead of being a Goddess of Light and Fun, I'm definitely on the side of stoic and masculine I think you may have conflated femininity with Elle Woods (from Legally Blonde). Completely understandable, for the most part they are the only kinds of feminine that the media exposes us to (doesn't help that the quiet ones don't like the spotlight). You can be feminine and not be chatty. You can be feminine and not the life of the party. I'd like to think that I'm feminine (still working on aspects),…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/16 10:36 PM
2

Last night, we went out. It was super nice to get out of the house. We got cheesy fries and Mac n cheese (mine had chicken tenders and bacon in it). I can't remember the name of the restaurant (it happened to be near the movie theater). Tonight is frozen pizza. We have church Saturday evenings, so we always do something low key. I did make this recipe earlier this week: http://www.budgetbytes.com/2016/08/slow-cooker-jambalaya/ It was a hit with the whole family (including the 3yo).
/r/RedPillWives10/09/16 01:08 PM
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