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yktvvvvvvvvvv Archive

View 3 posts and 111 comments by yktvvvvvvvvvv on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

If you work full time AND cover your own personal costs, this is not Red Pill. You are basically paying to clean up after someone and cook for someone.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/25 02:54 AM
-16

Men are afraid to look at women in public? Girl? What world do we live in? Increased accessibility to porn have dehumanised women to men and men view us even more as objects to the point where women are SA’d everywhere… In what reality are men more demure or scared to approach women?
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/25 03:29 AM
11

I would assume he just doesn’t like me and I would move on. He knew about your faith, he knew about your diet, and tbh since you were joining him on Sundays, it’s really strange he has an issue. You were still actively involved in his faith on the day he chooses. The fact that he’s ‘unhappy’ about your diet because you’ll miss out sounds super controlling. Why can’t you choose what you eat without having to cite sources to him? And then him uninviting you from a family trip so close to the trip.…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/25 06:10 AM
1

Woah. It seems like that man was unhappy with your (completely appropriate) boundaries and is stating you’re not submissive because of them. You submit to someone who has shown you consistent that you can trust and respect their leadership. Not a man in early dating. He is a red flag. Feminine isn’t cookie cutter. There can be reserved feminine women and there can be extroverted feminine woman. A large part of femininity in my opinion is about holding firm boundaries. Submitting does not mean se…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/25 06:03 AM
4

I guess everyone just has different personal standards because to me, that expectation is absolutely fair. Is it only once he becomes her husband that he helps her out? If so, how will she even know he is the person for her? What is he offering her? A romantic partner should want to ease your burdens and he is just being stingy.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/25 12:40 AM
2

God forbid you had a medical emergency. I’d be out the door
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 04:04 PM
2

Agreed.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 03:45 PM
3

Agreed, but only when it comes to her since he bought a car and a motorbike for himself recently.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 03:43 PM
7

Expecting a cheap birthday gift that she asked for is being entitled and ungrateful???
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 03:42 PM
5

Hmmm, is spoiling himself but then being stingy with her a minor flaw or a major character flaw? His excuse is that he’s not materialistic but then can buy himself and expensive car and motorbike… Doesn’t add up
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 03:41 PM
7

How is he taking care of her and being there for her?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 03:40 PM
3

The person that is supposed to love and care for you, is making excuses as to why he can’t lift a burden for you that would not make a dent in his savings. Honestly, I’d be more afraid for the future. No romance through gifts and gestures is one thing, but blatantly spoiling himself but refusing to give you a simple birthday gift or even quality time is cruel. Makes me wonder how he is classified as a a romantic partner in your life rather than a friend. There’s men without a dollar to their nam…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 03:39 PM
9

Hmmm so he DOES value material things…just not for you. He is clearly not that frugal or ‘practical’ since he is spoiling himself.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 01:52 AM
8

I think you need to be honest about your preferences. You want a generous provider. That’s okay! He is not a generous provider. In fact, he wouldn’t even put in effort to make your birthday special when all you’ve asked is $50 earrings? He has half a million in the bank and can’t get you earrings or even spend your birthday alone with you. Personally, that’s a red flag. Especially when you had an emergency with your vehicle and even with the large income disparity he still refused to take on the…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 01:50 AM
8

Oh that’s even worse. He lacks follow through. Do you want someone you’re going to have to push your whole life? Especially with him being much older with much more life experience.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 06:16 AM
31

It just seems you’re not compatible and don’t want the same things in life.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 05:56 AM
26

If it burdens your situation and he’s not fully providing, why move in with him? It’s okay to say you can’t afford it. It seems he’s excited for the chance to save more money but at your expense.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/25 11:49 PM
1

Also, I never asked him to pay all the bills. It was an understanding before we got married. He wanted to be a full provider, and I wouldn't have accepted a roommate situation. I had made that clear. This is why I suggest you slowly start reducing the split until you are paying less rather than cold turkey refusing to contribute. Technically, you accepted this circumstance so that would be unfair.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 09:22 AM
2

I don't believe my role as a woman is to ease my husband's burden of taking care of me. I'd rather he be burdened and become empowered through conquering the burden and feeling more masculine through that. My husband pays all of our household bills (even though I earn more). Even in the points where times have been hard for him, I provide him with support, appreciation and gratitude rather than money. I will not enable any hint of complacency or complaints. He has plenty of males in his life he …
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 09:20 AM
9

If he can watch YouTube, he can watch the kids so you can make breakfast. Drop them in his room and close the door.
/r/RedPillWives22/07/25 01:40 AM
3

I see some people here have hinted towards pooling and sharing resources. Personally, I’d strongly suggest against this. If possible, I’d pull back on paying for him, especially if it’s making you resentful. He needs to feel a motivation to work harder and earn more. If you will always be his crutch, of course he’ll take the easy route and rely more on you. If you are splitting bills, I would slowly reduce my share (for example going from 50/50 to 60/40 with him slowly paying more). This gives h…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/25 02:18 AM
2

There'll be plenty of youtube videos on this topic if you search. But I would envision the interaction and walk through each step. If you're a shoes off household, how will you politely share it with them on entry? Do you have a cloak cupboard for them to remove their coats, hats, scarves, etc or will you take them and place them in their room? Spare everything! - toothbrushes, toilet paper, towels, and make it very easy for them to access. If you can, try and have a multiple course meal and kee…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/25 07:31 AM
2

That’s one of the difficulties of dating young and I’ve been there too! Working in food service for now isn’t a red flag but if he has ideals but no follow through, that’s a character flaw to think about. There’s only so much you can do with potential. Whatever he is now, ask yourself, if you would be happy he never changed.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 05:45 AM
1

Personally, I don't think the age gap is weird, especially because you are both of age. But, in terms of vetting, I find that when you meet someone online, it's important that he put in effort outside of simply being a pen pal if that makes sense. He should be wanting to close the distance and see you in person if he is serious about you. Other things to think of when vetting (and I've learnt the hard way): - be very very open and non-critical when getting to know him. like no hard stances durin…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/25 04:36 AM
11

So happy you’re in a loving wonderful relationship now! I would wait until you were in a romantic moment, maybe looking into each other’s eyes after a beautiful day together, and then say ‘I would love to be your wife’ and just pause and see what he says. He might be surprised and say ‘well you said you never want to get married?’ Then you respond with why your views changed and how he showed you a harmony and way of living that would make marriage a joyful thing, etc. I think the most important…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/25 02:49 AM
3

Wow. I don’t know what to do with this information but I kinda agree.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/25 10:38 AM
16

I think you responded perfectly. You do have a lot to think about, not just your living situation, but your relationship. With the extra context of him living alone and having his own house, I can't see any reasons as to why he wouldn't let you, his girlfriend, stay for a period of time until you find a new place. Your instincts are right, that is definitely a turn off. Makes me question how reliable he is as a life partner. Please update if you do choose to discuss with him.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 08:07 AM
5

Yes definitely concerning. This is a big red flag. Even the fact that he won’t discuss it and help you find alternative solutions. Very strange.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 05:01 AM
19

Your boyfriend of 2 years won't offer you a place to stay... Do you feel supported? Are you happy to be in a relationship where you 'provider man' can't provide some space?
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 03:08 AM
1

The mutual respect for independence is something I'm struggling with. I support my husband completely in all of his activities that don't include me, even if they are frivolous and things like sports or spending time with friends. However, my husband is very clingy and when our free time doesn't align (as in when he is free but I am not) he complains about not being able to spend time with me. I am introverted and really do not need too much entertaining. I am very happy to spend an extended per…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 09:21 AM
1

I think that’s my personal concern with foregoing my career to be a stay at home mum. There are so many scenarios that can eventuate. Sure, negatives can come with career as well, but your job does not have to be permanent. I’ve left bad jobs and gotten new ones. Even in the worst job, there is no permanency. I appreciate you sharing your personal experience. It does seem like an idyllic experience. I’ve heard anecdotes from numerous mothers with a similar number of children of similar ages to y…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 01:30 PM
2

So you agree with me? Not sure what your point is here.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 01:00 PM
1

Why not mention the financial aspect? When I say freedom and autonomy, I mean with no income, you don’t have the freedom to randomly go on holiday, buy yourself whatever you want, book a massage, etc. Sure you may have time freedom (although arguably, a job as a mother is a never ending one). There are definitely low stress jobs that also instil values and make the work a better place. I agree a job as a mother is very valuable. It’s the lack of income, as well as the lack of an external purpose…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 12:59 PM
0

They are both in a way, a life of servitude. But with one, you are advancing your career and earning an income. I think a key point of those factors is that it allows freedom and autonomy, especially financially.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 11:03 AM
1

Are you appreciating him when he provides? Lack of gratitude can make provider men feel like they are being taken advantage of. Next time he gets you something, say ‘thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It’s means so much to me that you take care of me.’ And give him a hug and kiss.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 01:03 AM
5

Don’t look into his health. Again you’re mothering him. He is a perfectly capable grown man that has gotten himself far in life. You’re not his mother
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 04:38 AM
2

Appreciate him on how much he values your financial stability. Tell him he’s a hard worker and you that will reach his financial goals.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 04:37 AM
3

I think it's simple. Stop trying to control him and mother him. It doesn't seem like you have financial issues. What he does with his spare time, even if it means tinker on a failing business, doesn't affect you. There's worse things he could be doing. Believe in him, support him, highlight the good in him not the negative, and you will be fine. Not sure where the issue is coming from?
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 03:44 AM
2

There’s nothing wrong with being masculine, but in this case you’re with masculine men so your energies are opposing. Femininity isn’t just actions. It’s an energy. Feminine woman are warm, nurturing, loving, and receptive. Masculine men are leaders, doers, protectors, and providers. From what he’s stated, he wants you to be more vulnerable with him. Speak from an ‘I feel’ standpoint rather than the logics. I think you would benefjt from reading some feminine/masculine energy books. I recommend …
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/24 07:03 AM
8

I would really recommend self care. Try to decenter your husband and focus on yourself. Write down a list of things you can do that make you happy, and doing as much as you can everyday. Then I’d recommend (as hard as it is) to write down 10+ gratitudes about your husband and continue this daily. Sometimes we have the grass is greener syndrome and this will show you he isn’t all bad. His emotions and feelings are on his paper. The skills are just as much for you as they are to improve the relati…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 12:20 AM
2

It’s just like brushing your teeth! I wake up and just do it, it’s part of my routine. I think also having a nice vanity and area to do your makeup helps. If you want to keep it minimal or have the same effect as everyday makeup, maybe look into things like eyebrow tint, eyelash extensions or lash serum, and really focus on your skin care routine. Although I wear some form of makeup most days, because I regularly tint and shape my eyebrows at home, and sometimes I do lash clusters (basically at …
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 10:49 PM
2

Absolutely I see your point. I also see it having the opposite effect. I know some men that really had so step up in their families because they grew up with a single mum. Those men then end up providing for their mum and seeing the effect a father less home has on a family. I think that kind of man is a green flag and just made do with their circumstances. But absolutely if they hold being married as less serious than having a child it is an orange flag.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 01:50 AM
1

My fiancé and I want to start having kids in 2 years so I would’ve only spent my time in big law. Big law is my trajectory but it is kinda what I’m avoiding because of the stress and the long hours. All of my peers in big law are single and happy to work 12-14 hour days and take work home with them and go on all of the firm retreats and trips. That’s just not for me and it wouldn’t be sustainable for my relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 02:34 PM
1

Thank you so much! We have no qualms about me not being a full time mum. As of rn, I feel like one the kids are off to school I’d want to keep myself busy in some aspect. Even if it’s just tutoring, I’d want to have a life outside of home that I can chat to my husband about and give me some structure. But absolutely once I become a mum, I could change my mind completely!
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 08:37 AM
1

Thank you for your comment and insights! I’m marrying my fiancé in December and he is the ultimate provider. I haven’t had to worry about a single bill and once we move in together he will cover everything. I hope that gives more context. I want to be a mother in 2-3 years.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 12:04 AM
1

You are so amazing for this comment, thank you so much!! In my country, if you’re not earning a certain amount, you don’t need to pay back your debt. And the debt also dies with you, so it’s not necessarily the financials of the debt, it’s more so I would feel like I did it for no reason if that makes sense. I’m actually a December 2024 bride and my fiancé is my high school sweetheart so we had had discussions about finances and timeline. We want kids within 2-3 years of getting married. He has …
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 12:00 AM
1

It sounds like your life plan and timelines align. You say you want to be married late twenties which aligns with him. Enjoy the dating period. I was just like this, and trust me, the other person can tell that you’re hesitant or half in half out. Treat him like he’s your husband (minus finances as big commitments). If you’re both happy in the relationship, I don’t understand the issue.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 12:24 AM
5

I don’t see any red flags about what you’ve mentioned. I think just let him define the relationship while sticking to your boundary that you won’t do overnight stays until it’s defined. It seems like he wants you to make the best decision for yourself regarding work. He told you that you don’t have to work but if that’s something you’ve indicated you want to do, he’ll encourage it for your happiness. I’d recommend keep working until you’re at least married. Timeline is very important though. May…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/24 02:47 AM
1

You’re so welcome! I hope it goes well
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 05:00 AM
11

Laura Doyle says let him initiate but always be receptive. In terms of the I love you, I would ask him. Just casually say, ‘Is it okay if I randomly say I love you, or would you prefer I say it back and let you say it first?’ It shows you accept his beliefs and upbringing around that and you really can’t get it wrong once he clarifies. Maybe it’d be good to think about other things outside of the I love you that make you feel loved and request those or him. I think that if you show full acceptan…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 01:07 AM
13

It’s like a bid for connection. I’ve also noticed when you ask a man for something, and he explains all the ways it would be hard for him, and then does it anyway, it’s to show that he’s overcome something tough. Another discrete way of searching for praise. Deep down they really just want appreciation and admiration for their hard work.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 12:43 PM
30

It sounds like a trust thing. Also, do you feel superior to your husband? If he has trained for his role, has experience in his role, etc then consider why you feel you know more to the point where you need to advise him? It’s highly likely you don’t. Trust him to be able to sort out his life. Another thing I’ve noticed is that men complain to search for praise. If he’s complaining about work, tell him he is such a good problem solver and you’re so proud of how committed and dedicated he is even…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 10:49 AM
7

Honestly, I know it’s not nice that he even asked, but you stated your perspective and he respected it and will continue to cover the trip. I don’t think you should clarify anything because his actions mean more than his words. Make sure you’re super appreciative and say how spoiled he makes you feel and how hard working he is for making this trip a reality when he was hit with unexpected expenses. Also observe how he behaves on the trip. Because you haven’t met in person, you haven’t experience…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 10:45 AM
4

This was in the past, luckily I didn’t have to have this conversation with him as he made sure to set his birth family up well and then pivoted to making sure our new family is taken care of. His family was very understanding but you are absolutely correct that there are too many situations where responsible mature sons are placed in the husband role for single mothers.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 07:47 AM
10

A big one for me was that he prioritised my comfort and ease. Of course I worked and studied beforehand and if I was unwell or even just not in a great mood, he would encourage me to rest and relax. I’m very feminine with him but I had some blockages as to whether I was doing enough or was productive enough for my career success. He always reassured me that I deserve to relax and none of my work will be undone by staying home for a day to recuperate. Other things that prioritised my comfort incl…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 06:46 AM
2

I love to cook and bake (without obligation) and try new recipes. I like organising and sorting my things. Watching a comfort movie/show. Being spontaneous with a loved one and going out or doing an activity. Doing my hair and makeup. Shopping!!
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 05:41 AM
5

I think the key detail is that your boyfriend is willing to do something for your birthday but does not have the means to right now. Of course he could’ve maybe made a gift or get you something cheap but usually men would rather not. You say you’re genuinely happy with him and haven’t listed any flaws other than lower finances. I’d say definitely get him the gifts. He only has low finances right now because he’s studying and working and keeping up with his bills. Just make sure you won’t feel re…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 06:51 AM
5

I think it’s all in the voice. I remember hearing someone say that women should always operate in life slightly aroused. Apparently our entire demeanor, including voice and the way we speak changes. It’s super interesting if you want to experiment. Also softening your voice, speaking slower and being more curious rather than informative is feminine to me. Listening is also very feminine. Maybe you can focus more on listening and affirming? Sometimes when someone is speaking to me for example abo…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 02:06 AM
1

I agree with you on the first point! I was highlighting it as an option but it’s not a great idea imo 🤣 Thank you for explaining the rest. I am a huge words of affirmation girl! I am attracted to people who are attracted to me so if I don’t feel adored and like the person isn’t devoted to me, I feel they are not interested. Every relationship I’ve had started off with the man expressing their attraction for me so I just couldn’t imagine living without it. I would just assume I’m not their type a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 01:58 AM
1

Please clarify.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 09:42 AM
1

Meeting in school makes a lot of sense, thank you for providing the context there! If he is a great partner to you in every other aspect then you might just have to weigh up how important the compliments are to you. I really hope the tips work though!!
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 07:13 AM
5

If your goal is to get more compliments from him, then have a conversation about this. Ask him if he finds you physically attractive and just doesn’t vocalise it or if there is something missing. Make sure you don’t take your emotions out on him when he responds. Make it a safe space for him to share. He might just be the type of man that is not a words of affirmation. Personally, I don’t agree with asking men for a behaviour. I find that they get defensive or feel less than. It’s akin to critic…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 04:55 AM
19

Seems fine to end things with Guy 1, especially because of that comment. You are moving a bit fast with Guy 2. Sure he ticks your boxes and you’ve had phone calls but to already be thinking about moving to his coast and going all in is a bit ridiculous. Let him visit you. For all you know, he might love your city and decide to move for you. Or things may not work out. Try not to rush with dating and place expectations on men. You don’t want them to commit because you pushed them to do it. Evalua…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 05:42 PM
2

You described it perfectly! I feel the exact same with my partner.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 02:46 AM
17

I will answer this as someone who also follows Laura Doyle’s intimacy skills. It seems like you might have a blind spot in your relationship. To an average person without context, these issues seem very minor and not something that should cause an argument. But for example if your husband is feeling unappreciated or constantly criticised, pointing out that he ate the chocolate (however reasonable to everyone else) might be the final straw for him. There’s clearly something else that is bothering…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 03:08 AM
7

If he said within the year and only 6 months has passed, I’d recommend waiting the next 6 months. He has made it clear he also wants marriage. Don’t ruin it. The day it reaches a year, and he hasn’t proposed, then you can leave. You’ll just come across as really naggy if you continue to bring this up. What other answer do you want? Within the year is reasonable and you agreed to it. For the people suggesting jump ship, the reality is that there are a lot of single women having difficulty finding…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 01:49 AM
6

Reading! Search in this subreddit for books and read the ones for single women and for married women. Identify what makes you happy and do those things as often as you can. You will attract the right people and overall just shine brighter.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 02:13 PM
4

As a child of a mother who only focused on her kids, your children will thank you for being a well rounded person. Even though my siblings and I are all grown up now, it is hard for me to have my own life because my mum expects us to occupy her. I feel there is resentment sometimes that she dedicated her entire life to us and now that we want to leave the nest. It also makes me think of her retirement etc. She didn’t work and was a sahw and is now separated from my father. So it’s an additional …
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 03:39 AM
6

I feel that there is an underlying issue as to why he’s not planning dates and coming up with excuses. How is your relationship? My partner consistently plans weekly date nights but I do send him ideas of what I like or what I want sometimes. It can be exhausting for the man to have to plan every single date so let him make the reservations and pay but send him places you’d enjoy to give him ideas. General advice I would give is to get dressed up and go out with your girls consistently! If he se…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 03:33 AM
52

It doesn’t matter how much you like 30M if your futures are not compatible. 30M is against having children when you might want children and he has a porn addiction that he doesn’t want to quit… not to mention he wants you to contribute to the house which you don’t want to do. 33M seems like a much better partner.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 10:07 AM
11

One thing I will say is that when you meet people, they don’t see the past you. So don’t take it with you and make it part of your CURRENT identity. You are currently celibate. That is what people will see face on. You need to start viewing yourself as you are now and move on from past mistakes. Otherwise it will be evident in your self worth.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 10:24 AM
32

It doesn’t seem like there is anything inherently wrong in your relationship. I think you need to weigh up how much this intensity you are lacking is important to you vs a stable relationship. When you’re settled with someone, it is easy to become complacent and feel like the grass is greener. It’s also good to consider whether this intensity and passion you are seeking comes from you being used to toxicity and potentially traumatic experiences. So when you are in a stable relationship, it can s…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 01:29 PM
4

Okay well my partner and I don’t get mistaken for friends and we do the following: always hold hands in public when walking, if we’re sitting together or waiting in line I put my head on his shoulder and lean into him, he orders for me and pays for me, we give each other a few short kisses. Another aspect may just be chemistry. Some couples have a really palpable chemistry that is obvious to everyone around them. There’s nothing inherently wrong if you don’t have it in public because you might h…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/24 10:14 PM
15

It’s good that you’re open to ending it because there is a chance he will stick to his timeline and beliefs which clearly are incompatible with yours. However, it’s so so important to discuss this with him. I wouldn’t even bring up the past statements you made. Just say you’d love to be a wife and have kids in your late twenties. See where the conversation goes from there.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/24 12:11 PM
4

I agree! If it doesn’t bother you then no need to change it because of a few comments
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/24 12:09 PM
6

The Empowered Wife is the updated version of the Surrendered Wife
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 12:10 PM
3

Your boyfriend sounds insufferable. This is really weird behaviour. I don’t even have any advice.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:29 AM
12

I think this is a learning experience. I don’t believe there is a dignified way you can return to dating this man. I think there was really no need to ask for gifts/money since you state he already gave you money for your business and took you on a shopping spree unprompted. He seems like a naturally generous man so there were probably more subtle ways you could’ve asked for gifts or money like expressing how you would feel with the particular item you wanted gifted and letting him take the lead…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 10:50 AM
18

It’s less about finding him and more about being the reciprocal so he finds you. Unfortunately, in these times you can’t stay home and hope Prince Charming will knock on your door. Put effort into your appearance. Get dressed up. Be confident. And then vet the ones that approach you. Don’t fall into the trap of approaching men. Pour so much into your life and your happiness that the traditional man sees you and says wow I want to be a part of her happy bubble. College is a great place to find so…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/24 08:24 AM
17

It’s important to factor in whether you want children and at what age. I also don’t think it’s ever too early to discuss marriage, not necessarily explaining that you want to get married to the individual but speaking about your ideal timeline for marriage and children and your desire to be a wife. Men that are marriage minded will absolutely agree. I told my partner on our 3rd day of speaking that I am interested in dating for marriage purposes only, rather than just to get dating experience or…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/24 10:33 AM
1

Nothing to do with the individual (other than the needs to consider whether he’d want to continue comment) but it’s clear she is self conscious and not happy with herself. Therefore, even if she continues in the relationship, she will feel a lack of self worth. If she wants to continue with him, then she needs to work through her beliefs around sex.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/24 05:39 AM
2

Part of me is thinking your partner should accept you as you are but I remember a study (could be absolute bs 🤣) that said women’s voices register in the same part of a man’s brain that registers music. Think of it as him just loving to hear your voice. My partner is very similar but luckily I’m very talkative. If I were you, I would try to learn more interesting things like listen to podcasts or documentaries. Then you can discuss with him and ask opinion. Don’t feel like it has to be limited t…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/24 02:36 AM
1

I fully agree and understand. However as she’s already at that stage of completing domestic duties while not being a wife, I believe using the skills can secure engagement. Unfortunately, there’s no way to rewind the clock for OP where she can not have started these wifely duties.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/24 02:25 AM
5

Do not cook and clean with any expectations after the fact. Read Laura Doyle’s book the Empowered Wife and follow the intimacy skills. Make sure your interactions with him are warm and receptive. I’d take it as a huge compliment that your man winds down with you by expressing everything that’s on his mind from work. It’s wonderful that he feels that comfortable.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 03:21 PM
-1

If you want to stop having sex then stop. It’s so important to honour what you want! And tbh I think it’s a good way to see if his feelings are real or tied to the physical he gets from you. His priority should be making you comfortable.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 01:56 AM
-4

You can’t really go back on something like this but it is concerning that he said he wouldn’t date you if there was no sex. Especially because it’s happened a few times now, potentially if it was only the second date you could’ve said ‘got ahead of myself and I’d like to take a step back physically while I get to know you’ . What’s even more concerning is sleeping with someone you’ve known for 2 weeks. I think break it off because it’s clear you’re not happy with yourself. I hope you at least ve…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 01:54 AM
3

Agree
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 07:26 AM
3

Things like this don’t need to be communicated by words but rather by actions. You would’ve been better off just being a slow texter and then if prompted, let him know you’re much better face to face and prefer that. Some men are just slower than others, maybe he has a busy 10 days at work who knows. It’s important to have your own life and not come off as too desperate for a date which is what the text ended up sounding like. Besides, why would you want someone who you have to push to go on a d…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 07:24 AM
3

Amazing! When the time comes, don’t nag or pressure, just state your desire to be a wife and how happy you would be if you were married. Link it to your happiness. Don’t get into a conversation about logics. If he questions it, just say it would make you feel happy and secure and it is your desire. Don’t even link it to him by saying you want you and him to be married. Keep it about yourself and your desire. Hopefully it works out! Side note, one time a man I was getting to know for a long time …
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/24 06:16 AM
3

Have as much fun as possible! Don’t put pressure on him about any engagement or moving in. I would be my best self until year 2 and then if still no engagement or concrete plans, I’d cut my losses. Read the Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. It single-handedly transformed my relationship. It’s for married couples so don’t use the finances rule and don’t give him complete control but the communication, respect, and self care rules have worked wonders!! My man and I are now engaged when he actually wa…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 09:37 PM
4

I absolutely agree! And 1 year is really not that long. If by the 2 year mark there is no engagement or at least plans for engagement or moving in, then OP can reconsider the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 12:21 PM
27

My advice would be, do not make long term career decisions based on what could be a temporary relationship. What choice would you make if you were single? That is the choice you should make now. It sounds like he has expressed what you wanted to hear, to do with the marriage and moving in etc but that he is not ready at this point in time. I think it is true that if you make the decision based on him, you will be resentful which will naturally make the relationship fail. Do what is best for you.…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 10:18 AM
7

Regarding expressing yourself, next time he asks you what you want, say ‘whatever you think’ and stick with it. He needs to feel like you trust him to make the decisions. The age gap is a bit worrying.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 12:02 AM
1

Awww no, sorry to hear that but ultimately you will feel better rested by putting yourself first. There is a surrendered wife subreddit which is good! I’m not married and I can see you’re not either so people say unmarried women should use the rules with caution because the full commitment isn’t there yet. Obviously use your discretion. For example, the rule about finances I don’t follow since my partner and I don’t live together. I mostly use the communication, respect, self care rules. Hope it…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/24 08:35 AM
1

So happy to hear this worked for you!!
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 07:36 PM
1

I have not read the surrendered single so thank you for that. However, I do believe since the OP is living with her partner, the same skills can be applied and would work. I’ve personally used the empowered wife skills in a long term relationship and now engagement. Age is also a factor for marriages and the 6 month deadline is unrealistic for young couples.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 07:35 PM
1

Thank you for sharing your story. I believe people forget sometimes that men have feelings too and men need reassurance too. It’s disheartening in this thread that people will immediately tell someone to break up. Of course if it was dire circumstances like abuse I’d agree but it just seems like he might have present stressors or gong through a difficult mental health patch. Not worth throwing everything away over.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:55 PM
2

Yeah that’s definitely been communicated and he’s happy with it. That’s both of our goal once we get married so that’s not the issue. Maybe I’m overthinking it
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:52 PM
2

I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose. Like I don’t see him trying to exclude me purposefully, it’s just that I feel like maybe I’m not part of his plan? I feel like (just my feelings) he’s thinking of his role and his future kids and him being a husband but he’s not thinking of who would fill the role of the mum or wife. It just makes me sad.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:51 PM
2

Thank you. This perspective gives me reassurance. He has the provider mentality and he speaks about how he doesn’t want me to worry about money and all but we don’t live together and I express desires but for the material things I want they don’t get actioned. He is in saving mode since we have set a date to get married. I do make a big deal like I gush over how happy they make me.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:50 PM
0

How?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:48 PM
3

I understand but he has quite a few siblings.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:48 PM
-3

The paying for dates is the only consistent one in the list. Flowers for special occasions a few times a year. Gifts are quite spread out too. I personally don’t consider it being spoilt. Especially not in the way he describes spoiling his future kids (letting them buy expensive things with his card).
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 01:47 PM
4

If he keeps pushing, you can say, I’m feeling really burnt out and I’d love to do the gift exchange with you but I can’t, I’m just too tired to drive.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 10:34 AM
9

Don’t request. In the Empowered Wife, if doing something makes you feel resentful, irritable or just does not make you feel good, you simply say ‘I can’t’. Don’t explain further. They’ll likely push, especially if you’ve been doing it for a while, but just keep it as ‘I can’t’. Either they’ll likely step in and solve the problem, or not but at least now you’re not driving extended periods of time and back and forth etc.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 10:33 AM
0

Did you read the comment? There’s clearly something deeper going on. The same men that say they don’t have plans for the future with someone, marry the next person in 3 months because they knew they couldn’t live without them. If she becomes someone he can’t live without, he won’t risk it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 10:08 AM
-3

I don’t think you need to write him off. Be compassionate. The fact that he’s sobbing after being questioned about the future shows he might need emotional support from you. A man will plan a future with the person he cannot live without. The person that brings him mental peace and lifts him up. As hard as it is, I would say don’t speak about the future in a pressuring way for at least 6 months. Be the kind, loving, compassionate sweet girlfriend during that time. Read the empowered wife by Laur…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 07:38 AM
6

That’s interesting, I actually think that financial management is a very masculine task that requires discipline, order, and decision making. I personally wouldn’t want that responsibility and my partner has an accounting background so I’d leave that to him. I appreciate your response though! I’ll have a look at the books
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 03:23 PM
6

I have read the surrendered wife and the empowered wife. Ik I’m meant to leave finances to him which I’ve done. I should’ve specified above, what I mean is that we haven’t discussed whether we’d pool our finances or not? So I’m not sure if he’d be handling all of the bills from simply his separate income and savings, or from a pool of my income (although it is part time) and his as well. Should I leave it to him to bring it up?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 02:41 PM
6

Let him make the first move but give him signs. Be flirtatious. Make him feel like he won’t be rejected. Don’t be as available over text but don’t lose your warmth. In RPW we love for a man to lead but in the real world they don’t want to be deemed creepy or too forward so they’re reluctant. Nurture the behaviour you’d like to see. It’s your turn to be busy hanging out with friends. He isn’t entitled to a texting buddy. If you want a date, don’t settle for less. Text him hours later, and adopt t…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 02:54 PM
2

It’s not sugar coating. It’s weighing up everything as a whole. No person (including you or me) is going to be 100% perfect in a relationship or marriage. If your husband is doing 80% amazing things and the one thing is not cleaning an air fryer, I look at it like a minor issue. I also think of the kind of person I want to be in a relationship with. If I was with someone and always trying my best but they brought up one thing I didn’t do or wasn’t good at it, I would feel so unappreciated and no…
/r/RedPillWives17/02/24 09:39 AM
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