Is 70/30 okay for young couples?

Jenneapolis · 2024-04-06T14:46:32+00:00

Red pill is whatever works for you and him to have a successful relationship. Do not try to fit some sort of standard of what you think needs to be happen to be “red pill” - we see that approach fail often.

You both are very young so I don’t see why you both would not try to earn as much money as possible for the future until kids come along if that is your goal. Of course, if you were making a big purchase like a house, you would have to take into consideration if you would want to afford that on one or two incomes, but I don’t hear you saying you’re ready to do that now so I’m not sure you need to worry about it yet.

There are plenty of couples here who live on one income and just as many who live on two. It’s a personal choice.

TheBunk_TB · 2024-04-06T17:59:42+00:00

Drop your standard of living just a little bit

thesillymachine · 2024-04-07T00:40:10+00:00

I, personally, do not recommend postponing the honeymoon. Prioritize it and go after the wedding. Life will always happen and an excuse will always be there. He and you can start budgeting now. Learning good budgeting skills now will be very useful in the future.

As far as the future financial situation goes, he can and most likely will make more money as time goes on. People move up and get raises, plus bonuses are a possibility. You are not stuck. Make a plan for buying a house and then execute it.

daisiesandothershit · 2024-04-06T14:35:06+00:00

Have you read the surrendered wife? One of the key aspects is letting your partner handle the finances in the relationship. If he hasn’t expressed to you that he needs help, he may take it as you not trusting him/undermining his masculine duty to provide for his family. If you’re concerned deeply, you could try asking an open ended question about his stressors and see if he brings up finances. Then go from there!

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-04-06T22:27:54+00:00

Do whatever works best for your relationship.

If you and your husband both make good money, going 50/50 on living expenses isn’t a bad thing. It’s whatever you and your man want your relationship to be

Appropriate_Pie_9839 · 2024-04-06T14:57:48+00:00

One of the more feminine tasks of financial management is creating and managing the household budget. If you are worried about emasculating him, perhaps you could suggest that you begin making a budget for when you are married, when kids come, etc. Through that process, which of course will need to be collaborative, it will emerge if you can live on one budget. You could also ask him to give you the total income that can be used on annual expenses (clarify if it is before or after taxes), then make a budget and show it to him and ask what to do about possible gaps. Then he will make decisions. This would likely be better than outright saying you're worried he doesn't have enough money. I also suggest reading a bit on financial management, such as the booke "the simple path to wralth". Even if he's doing the management, you will be better off having an understanding of how financial stuff works so you can do your part in budgeting, purchasing frugally, setting your own realistic expectations, etc.

SunRose42 · 2024-04-06T16:50:34+00:00

According to TRULY traditional gender roles (the ones most humans have followed for all of time!), both partners work a lot. The idea that men work to provide and women stay home to tend to the house is pretty new, and arose out of how the upper class (a tiny percentage of the overall population) divided up labor and responsibilities.

The core of masculinity isn’t being a provider. It has to do with having certain kinds of strength, being able/willing to play protective roles when necessary, being able or willing to lead when necessary, being competent, etc. Personally, I feel like the protective role is one of the most important aspects- far more important than how much money they make.

So no I don’t think it isn’t RP to contribute to household finances

BudgetInteraction811 · 2024-04-06T21:59:48+00:00

When I first lived with a partner at 19, that’s what we did. 70/30 for rent and he paid all the bills and food. I did the cooking and cleaning. It was an amazing setup that worked for both of us. He would rather have home cooked meals ready for him and a clean apartment and pay the bills rather than take the time to do domestic labour. It just depends on your situation and it sounds like your boyfriend is happy to make it work.

littleladyluv · 2024-04-06T16:09:28+00:00

It sounds like what you’re perceiving as financial troubles is stirring up some feelings of fear somewhere?

That’s a great conversation to have with him. You’re still in your lane this way. You’re not emasculating him this way too. You give him a chance to problem solve your fears. If he decides he needs some contributions, that’s when he can say so. But whatever it is, he will have a solution to your fears and it may not be to contribute. It may be a better budget or as he told you already, postponing the honeymoon.

I try not to be attached to a solution a man can have because often times, it is not what we had in mind ourselves. His solution may actually be better than what you may have thought of. Even if you don’t agree with it, trust him. You’ll need that in marriage. Let him course correct if his solution ends up not working. Keep expressing your feelings, problems, desires. It is feedback he needs in order to adjust.

At the end of the day, this isn’t about money at all. It’s a symptom. He has the mindset of a leader and masculine man. No matter what, you will be ok with him as he’s shown you already, that he can handle life’s curveballs. This is about trusting him fully and submitting. Trust your feelings and vulnerability to inspire his leadership. Because so far, it looks like it is!

All the best 💞

AutoModerator · 2024-04-06T14:30:08+00:00

Title: Is 70/30 okay for young couples?

Author yktvvvvvvvvvv

Full text: Hi women!

My(22F) and my partner (23M) are engaged.

He has always told me he’ll take care of all of the bills as he doesn’t want me to be stresse. We’re also conscious of the two income trap and he doesn’t want to rely on my income in case when the time comes to have kids and I stop working, we’re in the trap. So we came to the conclusion that we would live off his income (80k+) and use mine for investments, vacations etc.

But I’ve realised with the current housing market, it might be overwhelming for him. He hasn’t expressed this to me but he did mention we might have to postpone the honeymoon due to finances.

I never entertained the idea of splitting bills with a partner before but I am not entirely opposed to the idea. I’m not sure how to approach the topic with him.

Is it still red pill to contribute financially to the home? Is it too risky? It wouldn’t be permanent because we are quite young but I personally don’t see any harm in it considering our finances will be joint anyway. We are also very deeply in love and I care about his mental health.

I’d love to hear everyone’s advice. Please be kind.

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dm-me-fantasyfiction · 2024-04-06T15:29:16+00:00

I think the other comments so far point out some of the best courses of action for you to take. I would like to offer an observation that may alleviate some of your concern.

Based on what you've written, it sounds to me like your man has the right attitude and he may even have a solid plan, or at least the beginnings of one. It doesn't sound like he's given you any indication that he doubts his ability to pull this off. If he has a solid family to back him up, he almost certainly will pull it off. $80k+ a year is pretty good for his age, and he's only got room to grow professionally. Sometimes it's scary and wobbly when you make a big financial step, but after a year or two things generally settle down and become more comfortable.

Title	Is 70/30 okay for young couples?
Author	yktvvvvvvvvvv
Upvotes	20
Comments	19
Date	April 6, 2024 2:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1bxcxc3/is_7030_okay_for_young_couples/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-7030-okay-for-young-couples.1514224 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514224

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