One time I went back to a girl's studio apartment after going out with some of our mutual friends. I'd met her that night, and was pretty attracted to her until we got to her place: it was filthy. The bathroom was disgusting, her clothes were everywhere, the bed wasn't made and it was poorly decorated. As I stepped through the door and saw the mess, I subconsciously but immediately relegated her to the zone of "girls to bang but not date."
Contrast this with one of my ex-girlfriends, who always kept her place nice. She didn't always have the most expensive stuff, but she put thought into the way it was decorated, took care of her things, and created a living environment that I actually enjoyed being in more than my own. Every time I was there my experience was all the more positive because of the efforts she had made. I couldn't help but associate those positive feelings with her, since I always had them in her presence. On more than one occasion I consciously considered the fact that if we were to ever get married, I would be able to live in that kind of environment for the rest of my life. And while something like that would never make or break my decision to marry a girl, I know that those kinds of background influences play into our gut feelings about a person much more than we usually realize.
Some men can put up with disorganization and uncleanliness more than others, and I would be remiss to hide the fact that I am much closer to the intolerant end of that scale than most. However, consider this for a moment: you won't turn any guy off by being neat, but you will definitely turn off some by being a slob. So play it safe: clean up your shit, paint an accent wall in your place, hang some framed pictures and take the seven pairs of heels out of your car's back seat - it could make a big difference on your next date.
~ archived since 2018 ~
