By now I’m sure everyone’s either seen or at least heard about American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert’s racy performance at the AMA show. I haven’t seen it myself and honestly have no desire to, but the event, among a great many other things, have given me pause to consider what all of this means at a time when guys in general have taken it on the chin from a larger cultural standpoint.

First of all, let me say that I am happy for Mr. Lambert’s success and wish him a long and prosperous career. From all that I’ve read about him, he seems to possess legitimate singing talent-and making it big in the Music Business is no small feat, regardless of one’s private life.

That said however, from that which I’ve gleaned in the news reports about Lambert’s recent performance, I must say that I was put off by it-not because he’s Gay, but because it reeks of sensationalism and the kind of pandering that a Man of his caliber shouldn’t even have to consider doing. It reeks of Low Class behavior in the worst way.

Comparing Lambert with other known, or at least widely rumored to be gay Male performers, like Liberace, Luther Vandross or Rock Hudson, is like comparing night to day. Like I said, it was widely rumored if not known outright that these Men were gay, yet they never used it as a kind of “pass” with which to trade on their talents. If anything, these Men represented the best of their art and craft, a kind of refinement, dignity and gentlemanly grace that is fast becoming a thing of the past in a Tucker Max/Thug Life Age.
Which leads me to the next point-that it is truly sad that we live in a time where a Man has to be looked at sideways if he actually cares about his appearance, likes to look nice, has any fashion sense or has any appreciation for art; that the term “That’s So Gay!” has become a part of the American pop cultural lexicon. All of these things have become associated with “Gayness” in what, a generation, if that? Former President Bill Clinton was derisively called a “Metrosexual” for his liking for expensive haircuts on Air Force One; Presidential hopeful John Edwards received similar treatment for his similar interest in his hair.

When I was coming of age, in the late 80s and early 90s, it was a real sign of growing up if you had a copy of GQ magazine lying around in plain view of visitors at your crib; today, I doubt most younger guys even know what GQ IS. At one point in my life I owned roughly 30 suits and all that came with them-ties, shirts (ALWAYS french-cuff), overcoats, hats, belts, suspenders, shoes-I’ve actually had several ladies (including the current one, LOL) seriously complain that all my clothes were “crowding their space”, and that shopping with me was worse than shopping for themselves. Yet I don’t have a Gay bone in my body. I just like to look good.

Something very bad has happened in the national culture where Nat King Cole & Frank Sinatra morphs into either Adam Lambert or Lil Wayne. And, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not against freedom of expression nor am I a prude; just simply noting that we’ve seemed to turn our collective backs on the idea that being Manly and being Gentlemanly could and often did go hand in hand. Today, the former means being a Jerk and an Asshole; the latter has been relegated to the preserve of the Stonewall Inn.

I’ve known Men-grownassed Men-in my life who’s NEVER owned a suit. Not even one for when, God forbid, they die. I’ve known Men who’s never been on the inside of a Men’s clothing store that actually sells suits, not sneakers and the like. Who don’t know what their shirt size is. Who don’t even wears a watch-an important fashion staple in its own right, what, less than a half century ago? Nearly everyday I get some youngbuck (or worse, a much older guy) asking me for the time, because they see my watch.

It’s sad.

And I think this sentiment that I’m sharing, has even permeated the thinking of the Hip Hop Moguls turned fashion designers in the past few years. Recently I was in Brooklyn’s famed Fulton St Shopping District to do a bit of shopping and stopped at a very nice Men’s clothing store; to my surprise, ALL of the suits I picked out were made by the famous Hip Hop-inspired fashion houses: Mecca, Sean John, Roc-A-Wear and Phat Farm. The next day I noticed rapper 50 Cent on the Rachel Ray show wearing a very nice steel grey suit chatting it up. And he’s not alone – Jay-Z and Sean “P.Diddy” Combs have been seen out and about more in suits and more casual attire than the standard urban B-Boy fare more common to rappers.

Some of you may recall my recent post Are You A Slob?-it was featured at the online Men’s magazine The Spearhead. Could you believe that I was attacked by some of the readers for “being gay”? After you get finished laughing at the ridiculous premise, it kind of makes you sad that the very idea of not looking like a slob is akin to having a love affair with Judy Garland or something.

Wow.

The Obsidian