Talleyrand asked me when I would get around to telling the story of a friend of mine whose ex-wife has utterly destroyed him. Everything he’s worked for and spent effort on for the last 10 years is gone, poof. A mirage, as if it never existed. Prison for felony non-support is his next stop. The ‘great’ state of California is in the process of destroying the remainder of his life that his ex left behind. Sadly, if he’d had game he would have known how this all would end and would never had married this girl in the first place. I’ll explain.
I’ve know Rick longer than I can remember. He’s actually a couple of years younger than I am. One of my earliest memories is of the two of us playing with toy cars in my parents living room on a golden summer afternoon. It was probably the summer before my fourth birthday. As I was pushing the car across the floor, Rick came over and snatched it out of my hands saying, ‘that’s mine!’.
Rick grew up in the greater Los Angeles area. Specifically in the San Fernando Valley. He has typical surfer boy good looks. Sun bleached blond hair, a nice tan most of the time and he stays in shape. He was something of a musical prodigy when growing up and is one of the most talented percussionists I’ve ever met. After college he held a couple of jobs as a sales rep for an instrument company and as a band director for one of the suburban school districts in the LA area. Rick is a solid dependable guy who was raised much the way I was raised to be a beta provider.
Tamara was a New Jersey girl. She grew up with girly girl fantasies about princesses, elaborate weddings, and having a large brood of children to adore and in turn they would adore her. Tamara was of an average height, with a deliciously curvaceous body and a very nice rack. Upon meeting Tamara, you couldn’t miss her well endowed chest. For whatever reason the cup size of her bras were always too small and she seemed on the edge of spilling out all the time. Tamara had moved to LA to get into the production side of TV and movies. She’s had some moderate success and a couple of her programs were picked up on some well know cable channels.
Rick and Tamara were married back in 1999. Although the two of them were living together in a nice Condominium in LA, the wedding took place in New Jersey at a nice but not high end hotel about a mile off the turnpike. For those of you who know the old and tired joke about New Jersey, you might understand how amused I was by this particular location.
The morning of the wedding day, I met up with Rick to see how he was doing and find out if there was anything that he might need last minute. We got to talking as he was making his preparations for the day and he tells me that he’s really looking forward to that night. I asked him why that might be. He tells me that Tamara cut him off from sex six month prior to the wedding and that his dry spell was ending that night. At the time I didn’t think anything of it. Yeah, it was a little strange, but at this stage in my life I had already come to accept that women often have arbitrary reasons for the things they do. I even went so far as to give Rick a hard time about it as I had actually rogered a gal pretty good the night before I flew out to NJ.
As things go it appeared that Rick and Tamara had settled into marriage comfortably. They bought a nice house and a couple of dogs. Tamara put together a babies room the moment they moved in. A couple of years later they had their first son. He was the spiting image of his father. A year and a half later they had a daughter, and two years after that another son. From all outward appearances they looked like a typical American family.
I’d get email updates from Tamara about her television projects, things that the kids were doing, and about 5 years ago, about a business that Rick and Tamara were starting. Communication with Rick was pretty much non-existent. Rick’s mother would relay information through my mother, but that was about it.
Two years ago, things started to fall apart for Rick. Tamara was cold and vicious to Rick’s mother. She could barely remain civil and would often send Rick with the kids over for family visits while not attending herself. The put downs, the condescension, the belitting of Rick’s manhood were constant. Rick was running a million miles an hour and it wasn’t good enough for Tamara. A year ago, the business that He and Tamara started and for which only Rick put in any effort to run, filed for bankruptcy liquidation. Tamara blamed Rick for the failure even though she was too busy with her own projects to help out.
At the urging of Rick’s mother, Rick and Tamara went to marital counseling. It was a total waste of time. Tamara told Rick that she no longer loved him and wasn’t sure she ever had loved him. She told him that she really didn’t want to work on the marriage as she had moved on. She had another man she’d been screwing for at least a year. Rick is losing his kids. He has been financially destroyed and with the economy the way it is he’s scrambling to find a job with little to show for it. Since he lives in California, he’s been raped by the family courts. Can’t pay? You’re fucked. Off to jail ya go you deadbeat dad!
Talleyrand made the observation. If a woman cuts a man off after having sexual relations and the man accepts it, then the relationship is doomed. The rot has started and will only grow from that point. The man has ceded the dominant position in the relationship and due to the woman’s hypergamous nature the man is no longer worthy.
