Before I get more into the topic of this post, I’d like to define what I mean by avoidance. When I refer to avoidance I mean the act of withdrawing from something that may be unpleasant or difficult to deal with either mentally or emotionally. For example, growing up my LTR would put off doing papers or homework because she preferred to spend her mental energies on thinking about boys. As an example of emotional avoidance I refer you to the girl in this post by Talleyrand. She get’s busted for a DUI, asks Talleyrand for advice, and then does…nothing.
I do not believe that avoidance is exclusively a female phenomenon, but from personal (read anecdotal) experience, it does seem to be more prevalent in women than men. Call it a feminine reaction to an undesirable situation.
The reason I bring this up is my LTR got some terrible news yesterday regarding two family members. An older aunt of hers who has been very conscientious about her health was told that her cancer has returned and is in her spinal column. Nothing can be done for this sweet lady. This is in contrast with a cousin of hers who was told two years ago to have various female organs removed due to pre-cancerous indicators. She decided that even though she had insurance, she didn’t know how much would be covered and she didn’t want to pay the deductible and copay so she chose to ignore the problem. We found out this week that the cancer has spread to the rest of the body through the lymph system and nothing can be done. A sad situation that I can’t help feeling was avoidable or at least that the odds could have been in her favor if she had sought out prompt treatment.
The LTR has been lax in completing her paperwork to continue her professional licensure. It was due last summer, but she couldn’t seem to get motivated. Now she’s not even sure she can get it renewed. A couple of years ago, before I was cognizant of game, I took it upon myself to badger the LTR to finish her accreditation. This just seemed to stress her out more. There’s nothing quite like drawing attention to a person’s shortcomings if you want to piss them off and shut down all reasoning functions in their brain. This time around I let her deal with it, she’s stressed, I’m not. Nagging is weak and submissive so I’ve stopped.
Any man with experience with women knows that women like to unload their daily problems on their man. Then, when the man offers either a solution or to help with the problem, she get’s upset. Often claiming you’re not listening to her. In my experience, women would rather stew in their emotional turmoil rather than solve the underlying problem. I believe that this is caused by a desire to avoid potential fallout or unpleasant feelings.
