Earlier this week in my post of female nattering, Tom Snark and Hunter Huxley had two different responses. Snark’s response was to kick the gal’s ass to the curb. Hunter on the other hand thought I should have gone for the more playful asshole move. I think both are and can be valid responses. I’ll call Snark’s response ‘mean asshole game’ and Hunter’s ‘cocky/funny asshole game. There is definitely a time and place for both as well as a place for aloof asshole game. However, there is no place for weak asshole game.
Cocky/funny asshole can be as simple as Roissy’s agree and amplify technique. Negging done right in my opinion can fall into this category. Disarming the AMOG interloper also fits into this category. It’s all about maintaining frame.
Weak asshole game is the passive aggressive beta boy shit that ‘nice’ guys pull. It’s the type of shit that guys pull when they allow a woman’s actions to dictate their response. To put it bluntly, it is acting like a spoiled little boy who doesn’t get his way instead of acting like a man and dictating the flow of events. It’s also dishonest.
Mean asshole game can best be summarized by Roissy’s post here. It’s about keeping your woman in line. I’ve found that the longer I’m in an LTR the more I use mean/aloof asshole game versus say cocky/funny asshole game. I’d say for me it’s about even between aloof and mean game maybe 65% of the time. For example, last night I let my LTR know that I was going to take Christmas Eve off to spend some time with her.
She was demonstrably excited, but she says to me, ‘I hope you don’t think I get all excited about you taking the day off and then I’ll turn into a bitch.’ Mind you, before I knew game I had maybe a 50/50 shot that is exactly what would happen.
I replied with a smile, ‘Yep, that’s exactly what I think.’
LTR deflates, ‘No, I’m being serious. Do you really think that?’ At this point I know she’s looking for reassurance. Like a lot of women, she doesn’t see herself as a bitch (and compared to most American girls I’ve dated, she’s actually better in that department), but she’s worried that she might actually be one.
If I was going to pull a beta move I would have said, ‘no, of course I don’t think that.’ Before I found game, that would have been my go to answer. Don’t make waves, don’t upset my LTR, walk on egg shells. I didn’t do that.
If I was going to pull full asshole I might have done the ignore and redirect, ‘Shut up, LTR.’
I went with aloof asshole. I paused, looked at her, looked back at the road and said, ‘Well, sometimes you are.’ And then went back to driving. I didn’t explain why or when she’s acted that way. A minute later, she’s apologizing.
There really isn’t one set template. I think it really depends on where you are in your relationship, how much alpha credibility you have built up, and your natural proclivities. I’ve said before on this blog that early on in my current LTR, I went too far beta and I was on the road purgatory. It has taken far more of the mean/aloof asshole game than I’m naturally inclined to do for me to right the ship than if I’d never allowed myself to be painted into a corner by my ‘nice’ guy weak asshole behavior.
