This post over at toy soldiers (a site that I believe is both invaluable and depressing at the same time) discusses an article by a complete Renfield that has the following theory he pushes as fact:
- All men hate women.
- It happens because of the relationship of the son to the mother.
- It is the son’s fault.
This is the typical misandry of our culture.
Even a male toddler can’t catch a break and the woman gets a pass.
One of the biggest problems in our culture, one of the most destructive lies that exists is the myth that women are all “natural mothers.” The man pushing the above believes this lie.
Evolutionists like to think this because if women are not “natural” mothers then humanity would become extinct is the reasoning. It is fascinating that feminists and liberals that believe in one breath that gender roles are mutable and a construct and that everyone is a Tabula Rasa, will still embrace this idea. If we are blank slates and mutable than there is no such thing as a “natural mother.”
The religious like to think this because God created us, and therefore he created women to be mothers. It is interesting that despite the idea that we are all fallen, that somehow Satan can’t sink his lies and deceptions into this most important relationship. If you believe in the Devil, than it is foolish to think that the personification of evil would respect the sanctity of motherhood. Quite the contrary, if I was the devil, it would be the first thing I subverted, the first relationship I would poison, so that the evil it generated would spread like a plague.
With the relationship between a child and a father, our society recognizes that these relationships are often not perfect, and although it tends to denigrate the role of the father, it is becoming increasingly clear that not only are fathers important to child’s upbringing, they may be a very necessary counterbalance to the influence of the mother. The pull of playing it safe versus taking necessary risks. (This is not to say there aren’t bad fathers). The fact that society recognizes that fathers are often imperfect, that the relationship can be strained, that a father can push a child and have expectations that are high, is a good thing for the child.
If the child has a bad father, it is something that happens. It is because the father is flawed.
However, when a child gets a bad mother (and I submit that we have all known at least one woman that should never have procreated) there is a very different message the child gets.
Our society pushes the myth of the natural mother. The idea that a woman can “have it all” is a strain of this myth because it says you can work, entertain, save the world and be a good mother all at the same time. Despite the evidence that men had to sacrifice something to “have it all” on their side,( often their relationships with their children), women and our society still believe this.
So a child is taught that women are natural mothers. That a mother’s love is unconditional. And women want to believe this too, because they don’t want to realize that their actions have very real consequences on their children. I have watched people do convoluted mental gymnastics to explain away the very nasty, mean-spirited and vicious things their mother has done to them.
So the child is hit with the message that a mother’s love is perfect and unconditional and that message is going to come directly into evidence that contradicts it. It cannot be any other way, because no human is perfect. Depending on the mother this could come in various different guises from absolute abuse, neglect, or failure to protect which has huge ramifications for the child, or smaller natural things that can’t help but happen.
A mother that returns to school or takes time to see her friends, or divorces the child’s father, or takes up with another man is placing herself before the child, to one degree or another, some slight some major. I am not commenting on whether women should do these things, I am commenting on how it is perceived against the back drop of unconditional love that is force-fed upon the child.
All this causes a conflict between two ideas:
- A woman is a natural mother and her love is unconditional.
- My mother’s love is conditional.
Instead of being able to look at the mother as a human being that is flawed, our society feeds them a lie that comes in direct conflict with reality.
What does the child do?
He or she cannot blame their mother, the indoctrination and their beliefs won’t let them, so they have to find an explanation.
There are two possible reasons that a child will have to choose:
- There is an external force causing the disruption of this relationship.
- There is an internal force causing the disruption of this relationship.
In the first instance the external force can be the father, the boyfriend or perhaps something more subtle. Those first two are the main ones though. The child very easily attaches his negative feelings on to someone other than the mother, because it is not her fault. I suspect half the conflicts children have with their fathers are actually transferred issues with the mother. No matter what evil the mother visits on the child, it is never her fault, the child won’t accept that it is the mother’s fault.
Because if the mother is a free agent and is behaving this way, then the second choice the child is forced to face is that the child has the flaw in his or herself. If the mother’s love is total and unconditional and perfect, then the source of the problem has to be within the child. The child is forced to see itself as “bad” or “evil” and this will have a dramatic impact on the child’s behavior making him either afraid of his emotional needs because they are bad, or embrace that he is bad to the core (which is why single moms tend to produce spineless wimps, or complete thuggy bad boys).
If our society promoted a more realistic portrayal of motherhood, that women are imperfect, that they come in all types from evil to good, that a mother is capable of hurting children, intentional or unintentionally, that they have needs and are like any other human being, then the damage would be mitigated.
People that promote the lie of women are natural mothers are punishing children for things they did not do, they are hurting children instead of helping them.
It would be much healthier for the child to be able to directly look at his mother’s behavior and recognize it for what it is, instead of being told his eyes are lying to him.
