How we treat other men is a community quality indicator.

Readership: Regular readers; Those who are interested in the Christian Manosphere.
Length: 3,000 words
Reading Time: 16 minutes

“Feminism is a disease of envy.  It spreads via women due to the temptation to envy the position of men.  For men, it spreads via the temptation to declare oneself the only real man, as other men aren’t worthy of respect.”

Dalrock: “No respect.” (2017/12/14)

Introduction

The Broken Window Theory is a theory in psychology that describes human behavior as a manifestation of the environment, and vice versa. This theory states that an ordered and clean environment — one that is maintained — sends the signal that the area is monitored and that criminal behavior is not tolerated. As a result, the area is less likely to attract mischief. Conversely, a disordered environment — one that is not maintained (broken windows, excessive litter, graffiti, etc.) — sends the signal that the area is not monitored, and that criminal behavior has little risk of detection. The result is that criminal behavior is more likely to occur.

A corollary to the broken windows theory states that an area that is in disrepair attracts rascals, refuse, vandalism, and so on. Whereas, an area that is carefully maintained is more likely to be seen as someone’s “home” or private property, and will be treated accordingly.

img-1783684805-6a50dec5428fa3.28002159.jpg

This theory assumes that the landscape “communicates” a message to people about the status of the area. A broken window is used as a figurative representation that transmits several messages about the community.

  • It displays negligence, carelessness, and/or a lack of awareness.
  • The owner/community is poor, defenseless, and vulnerable.
  • The owner/community is unable or unwilling to defend itself against the trespassing of boundaries.
  • There is a lack of cohesiveness among the people within. Neighborhoods with a strong sense of cohesion fix broken windows and assert social responsibility on themselves — effectively giving themselves control over their space.
  • Overall, it indicates a lack of informal social control.

The slow deterioration of a community as a result of the Broken Window Effect modifies the way people behave when it comes to their communal space, which in turn breaks down community control. This process is outlined as follows.

  1. Under the impression that a broken window left unfixed signifies dereliction and decadence, outsiders recognize the shabbiness as a place where they can abuse the social order and “dump their trash”.
  2. Addicts, charlatans, drunks, feminists, grifters, mendicants, players, prostitutes, rowdy teenagers, Racial firebrands, SJW hawks, whoremongers, Woke wankers, and other seedy characters slowly begin to gravitate towards and make their way into the community.
  3. The community fails to assert informal social control, and these characters begin to assume more confidence in subverting the social order.
  4. A Tragedy of the Commons ensues.
  5. Residents begin to change the way they see their community, and become less willing to invest in the welfare and maintenance thereof.
  6. As shady characters inflict further damage and ruin, members of the community become afraid of worse things happening.
  7. In an attempt to stay safe, individuals start to spend less time in communal space to avoid potential violent attacks by strangers. As a result, they spend less time in the streets to avoid these subjects, and feel increasingly disconnected from their community if the problems persist.
  8. A cohesive community starts to fall apart.
  9. A self-perpetuating cycle ensues, which goes back to (1).

As our readers already know, western society is already several cycles into this dissolution.

img-1783684807-6a50dec71d3622.76591450.png

Men need to defend the interests of other men

We are inclined to stand by and watch the mess unfold and say it is out of our control. But there are things men can do to preserve their community, even if that community only includes a small men’s fellowship group or their own family.

For example, most of us have been taught from a young age that men should be standing up for the interests and welfare of women, but as we have learned from Dalrock et al., this can disintegrate into Chivalry and man bashing rather easily. Instead of acutely focusing on the wants and needs of women (who are never fully satisfied), men need to promulgate and defend the interests and domains of other men.

Of note, courtship, marriage, marital sanctity, and procreation are personal domains representing an acute interest of men that needs to be emphasized and explored. I’ll cover this in more detail further down.

Men should not judge other men by womens’ standards

I need to clarify that last Friday’s post, The Feminine Christian Marriage Quadrilemma (2021/7/16) is mansplaining women’s perspectives. It doesn’t address men’s viewpoint on the issue, but it does offer some insights that might be of value to men, especially fathers who need some good mental fodder to feed their daughters.

Under this post, Lastmod wrote,

“Jack… Doesn’t this whole post come down to pretty much (and if I am wrong, you will correct me) in the modern Christian world:

Men, be in the top 20% by the time you are of age and you won’t really notice there is a problem, and if there is one…. well, the rest just need to “step up” and be like them.”

I would never say what Lastmod wrote. The reason is because what he wrote is essentially a “Man up!” quip, and it’s insulting to men. I don’t mean to “politely” imply that message either. I do try to inspire men to have the courage to do the things they need to be doing, but that is not intended to be taken as a condescending “Man up!” lecture.

img-1783679023-6a50c82f6d9dc0.96979288.jpg

I disagree with this viewpoint because ultimately, it assumes that a man’s whole purpose and value in life is based on whether he can have a Meet Cute, or get laid, or whatever, and that men who don’t (or can’t) are “lesser men” who are not worthy of respect (c.f. Dalrock’s quotation at top). Thus, it sets up women and women’s imperatives as the collective judge of men’s character. In other words, it is gynocentric, as are many of the viewpoints common to the Manosphere.

It is clear that Lastmod disagrees with the information given around the Manosphere, because he often points out how ridiculous and impossible it is, but he is correct to identify various symptoms of the disease of feminism within it — how men judge other men in terms of their “success” with women, and how this foments bitterness and envy.

To make this point clear, I’ll quote something Lastmod wrote a while back. [Edited for clarity.]

“The “real man red pill christian man-o-sphere” is just a place where action means nothing and what matters is how much of a hit with the ladies you are, or how they look at you matters more than anything. Who can shut down or put down someone faster than someone else… and they call this intelligence or leadership. This is the norm… Hence why men are not “banging on the doors” here to become Christian… or even learn about it.”

It is clear that Lastmod thinks the Christian Manosphere is all about scoring with women by some metric. He is objecting to this, which is correct, but the fact that he is objecting to this tells me that he believes it is true. It’s also clear that he feels rejected. This is a sad indicator of our world today.

This is exactly why I am diligent in keeping the comments section respectful and dignified. I am proud to say that no one on this blog has insulted him (nor anyone else) beyond whatever might be constituted by a disagreement. I won’t allow it because it’s a crack in the Broken Window dynamic.

img-1783684808-6a50dec8763a16.18530120.jpg

Case Study 1 — Oscar defends the dignity of men

Oscar shared this powerful anecdote with us in a comment.

“I’ve been dropping some of the truths we discuss here at the men’s Bible study at church. I’ve been surprised at the response. I thought I might get run out of church, but the opposite has happened.

The last time we met, I dropped the “70% of divorces are filed by women” fact. Three of the men – who rarely speak up, and I didn’t even know were divorced — told about their horrible experiences with being shoved through the meat grinder.

You should’ve seen the looks on their faces when I said that the “women are responders” line was cruel to decent men who were divorced by their wives. Those guys looked like, “Holy crap! Someone finally said it!”

This is awesome! Men need to say/do things like this on the regular.

What is the purpose and overall impact of the Christian Manosphere?

In another comment, Lastmod brought up the idea of a mission statement.

Now, I can see how a person might think that this whole blog is gynocentric, or sex-centric, but the purpose is more about devising an accurate “mental map” of the Mating Market Place (marriage in particular), and effective “wife management” (and daughters too), rather than trying to measure up to women’s expectations, or getting laid, or what not, as is the focus of most other internet media catering to male interests.*

Also, men should be encouraging and exhorting other men. Doing the opposite is the same as falling victim to the feminist disease of envy, and that is a sin! This cannot be emphasized enough.

* I do believe that there are a number of men who are called by God to marriage and family (including myself), so for men like this, there is more of a valid reason for gauging his performance with a hat tip to its impact on women as a type of feedback look. But in general, this is an inversion of priorities according to God’s archetype of authority (i.e. Headship).

img-1783684809-6a50dec9b591c2.72696549.jpg

Case Study 2 — Scott and Jason

Earlier this year, Scott went to California on business. While he was there, he made the effort to meet with Jason (AKA Lastmod). The Natural reaches out to the Underdog! During their meeting, they were able to attain a mutual respect for each other.

Since then, Scott and Jason have continued their dialogue online, and Jason’s general outlook on life has seen a remarkable improvement. He is also more diligent in expressing himself well. Many times readers have agreed with his views, especially as of late.

I am really touched and personally inspired by this.

Some readers may not like Scott for whatever various reasons, but actions speak louder than words.

This is what men need to be doing, and not c0ck blocking, or “My N count is larger than yours!” or “My Red Pill is redder than yours!” etc.

The Christian Manosphere should be defending Marriage and Family

As of late, the very idea of marriage has become anathema! This is partly due to all the talk around the ‘sphere about how marriage is to be avoided at all costs.

When we look at the social context in western society, this is sound advice on the face of it. This advice is intended to shield men from the tragedies common to marriage today. But ultimately, it is also a dead end that cuts men and women off from marriage and family. Blindly following this advice would prevent any possible joy, legacy, sanctification, or contentment that might otherwise have been found through marriage.

We should also remember 1 Timothy 4:1-3.

1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

This is kind of like what feminists tell women under the age of 26 to do — avoid marriage. In fact, the opposite is true. Women should be getting married before the age of 26. Not doing so compromises the sanctity of marriage.

img-1783684811-6a50decb9824f5.53416975.jpg

I take the same opposite approach, but I’m not going to let readers be ignorant about what that involves.

So in response to all those voices saying, “Marriage is a bad deal. Avoid it at all costs!”, I say, “Following God is more important.” That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy nor without problems and disappointments.

This is not the same as a “Man Up (and marry that slore)!” lecture, because only God should be the judge of your convictions, not some random manospherian commenter.

So let’s not reject marriage out of a reactionary fear of societal forces. Let’s give God a chance.

Based Media Sources that cover Marriage and Family

Dalrock made his mark as a Manosphere personality who defended the dignity of men and the sanctity of marriage fully from a Christian viewpoint. Nowadays, there is a modest number of blogs, podcasts, or YouTube channels that are still pushing marriage and discussing how to make it work.

Here’s a short list of a few sources that endorse marriage and family to varying degrees of intensity.

Readers are welcome to add others to this list.

Again, a lot of male spaces routinely condemn marriage, or at best, tiptoe around the idea of marriage. They’re not picking the problems of modern marriage apart in great detail. They are not theorizing many “solutions” or “strategies”. They’re not leaving that option open to men. They’re throwing rocks at a man’s castle before he’s even begun to build it.

img-1783684812-6a50deccdc7623.15925449.jpg

The Measure of a Man is His Readiness in Taking Action in Obedience to His Life Calling

I need to address one last issue. Lastmod asked,

“How does a young man navigate this? I mean, it seems to be just becoming an “elite” thing for top men and women who just happened to fall out of the womb with the genetics, qualities, and traits that drive this market now.”

The fact is, the grand majority of men don’t have that much latitude in being among the top 20%. There are only about 10-20% of men who are not “visible” to women, but who are also in a position where they could improve themselves enough to become “visible” to women. Deep Strength’s blog (Christianity and Masculinity) is geared towards that small demographic.

Since Lastmod said he is basically Black Pill/MGTOW, he (and other men like him) might do well to take an armchair philosopher’s approach to the matter (which Lastmod is already doing quite well), or else, ignore such advice altogether.

Judging by the nature of Lastmod’s many comments, here is the thing that I think is very difficult for him and many other men to grasp. Many real-world solutions cannot be found by taking an armchair philosopher’s approach. The reason is because a man can get stymied in the contradictory logic, the dilemmas, the conundrums… (which have been covered fairly well here), and then he never makes any real progress. It just doesn’t work that way.

Instead, a man has to start where ever he is, using whatever he’s got, and work from there. He must be driven by his conviction, and be sensitive to whatever opportunities he can find through faith. He cannot try to mastermind his whole life before he begins to do anything. Thinking about things too much will make him blind to what is happening in the NOW. I wrote about this in Taking Headship by Force (2021/5/26), under the section entitled, “Get Action!”.

The beautiful magic of taking action first and then thinking it over along the way is that unexpected things happen and things change. Meanwhile, you’re making a little progress on something. Now, if a man is not finding any opportunities in life in which to exercise faith and “do something” that has spiritual significance, then he needs to make some major changes in his life. (That is partly why I traveled to China and Taiwan.) A man has to follow his deeper convictions and go to (or create) an environment where things will click for him.

The Christian Manosphere should be offering a roadmap about how this works, outlining the potential pitfalls, and what is to be expected.

img-1783682116-6a50d444b577d6.89395448.jpg

Conclusions

Men are suffering from the disease of feminism, which is the habit of judging men by gynocentric standards, that is to say, men who are attractive to women are seen to be better men. This contributes to the Broken Window effect within the men’s community, both online and IRL. Men need to get out of this habit and censure other men who do so.

Instead of being held to a gynocentric standard of value, men should be judged by whether they are fulfilling their God ordained calling in life. Men who are not doing so should be regarded as men who need fellowship, mentorship, and guidance, and not simply ridiculed and dismissed as “deadbeat dads”, purposeless buffoons, and/or lazy weaklings.

How we treat other men is a community quality indicator. It’s also displays the community’s general stance towards male authority and headship. Ultimately, it characterizes the community’s fear of God.

The Christian Manosphere should be leading the wider ‘sphere in the display of respect to all men and the promulgation of men’s prime interests according to each man’s calling.

That includes marriage.

Exit Questions

  1. Does the Christian Manosphere suffer from the disease of feminism? If so, then call it out.
  2. What are some other authors, blogs, podcasts, or YouTube channels (that are not mentioned above) that support and defend marriage (i.e. Biblical Headship)?
  3. Do the men your church/men’s group fellowship extend mutual respect and enthusiastically support comradery among men?

Related