I failed a shit test this morning. She asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch, and I caved and gave her the beta yes before I had a chance to think about it. I wanted to kick myself.
I recovered fairly well, though, by taking charge after the fact. I put it on my schedule: “I need a bit before we go out.” I picked the place, though slightly less definitively than I would have liked. And I laid on the teasing and the negging a bit thick throughout the day. I mean, I was really pushing the line. She even called me mean once… before deciding (herself) that she shouldn’t be walking into things so easily.
I practiced some Alpha tricks during the lunch date. Strong body language, walking in front of her, assuming she’ll follow along instead of watching her. Also practiced on the waitress a bit. Didn’t end up flirting with her… but I could tell she wanted me to, by the end of it.
We stopped at the grocery store on the way home, and I continued practicing. I led the way through the store, but also pulled a trick I’d read about. Several times I just wandered off and got what I needed, without saying anything. Definitely had a good effect, although she was really starting to think I was mad at her. Like I said, pushing the line kind of hard.
Oh, did I mention that she actually put on something other than a jeans and t-shirt? She didn’t exactly get all dolled up, but it was a return to the quirky-but-hot kind of way she used to dress, way back in the day. I loved it – and so did she!
I spent the afternoon teasing her more and getting her a bit worked up. She’d basically even come out and said that she’d have sex with me at bedtime, but I wasn’t going to have it. In the early evening I made my move. I ambushed her as she was coming out of the master bathroom. We had a moderate makeout session going for a bit, and it definitely would have progressed had I decided to. She, however, interrupted.
Hermione: I still have homework to do. [She earns her name!]
Me: OK [getting up]
Hermione: So we can either wait or you can do it fast.
Me: Go do your homework.
First, I have to admit that this was very, very hard for me. I really wanted it, and the old me would’ve taken it and ruined everything. But I was NOT going to do it this way. She doesn’t like it fast. When she says that, she’s just doing it for me. That’s not good enough. Not right now. She’s going to enjoy it. That’s half the reason we never have sex. She doesn’t enjoy it, because we do it fast, because she doesn’t enjoy it and wants to get it over with. No. We’re going to take our time, and she’s going to enjoy it.
And I’m doing the classic push-pull. I’ve been pushing her all day with the teasing. Then the pull (jumping her), now a push. It was hard to maintain an Alpha calm, but I managed it (well enough anyway).
I made dinner because the grocery store had steaks on sale (I make a mean steak). We watched some TV, her homework that was “almost done” took hours – and she still didn’t finish. So I laid down a real alpha smack.
I went to bed early.
Her first interpretation of that was kind of off. She thought I was pushing for sex again, since she’d basically offered it before bed. So she finished up some stuff, then brought in our son (who was starting to wake up) to breast feed him.
Hermione: Once he’s done, you can see if he’ll go back in the crib then we can do something… [slightly nervous] or just go to sleep if you want.
Me: I just want to go to sleep – that’s why I went to bed early.
Hermione: [stunned]
[Time passes. Our son goes to sleep, I get up and take him to the crib, come back, lie down, and turn away.]
Hermione: Are you upset?
Me: No. [Struggling to maintain alpha calm, because I am kind of disappointed about not getting laid.]
[Time passes]
Hermione: Are you mad at me?
Me: No, I’m really not.
[A bit more time passes, and then I roll over to cuddle with her.]
Hermione: Are you sure you’re not mad at me?
Me: Not at all.
Notice that at the beginning I actually was a bit upset and struggling to hide it. By now, though, I have a different problem. I’m fighting, and I mean fighting HARD to keep from laughing my ass off. Because the thought that just went through my head is, “Holy shit, this fucking works.” I had totally taken control, and it was going exactly as Game predicted.
I rolled her over, gave her a hell of a kiss, told her very clearly (and, for the first time, naturally and easily) that I loved her, and not only was I not mad, but I was actually in a very good mood… but I wanted to go to sleep.
Then I rolled away (push-pull again) and went to sleep.
Results
After today, I am 100% convinced that Game is going to improve my marriage. There’s a long way to go from here, no question, but the progress in such a short time is amazing. I pushed the line a little bit today, and I need to be careful. But I’m definitely on the right track.
Oh, and did I mention: holy shit, this fucking works!
