If Women Are Naturally Submissive, Dominance Doesn’t Need To Be Forced

Via Hidden Leaves…

Well yes and no. Jennifer is submissive, but it’s not something that I made her be, she is submissive. She likes helping, serving, assisting, caring yada yada yada. She doesn’t like being micromanaged, but the reason she wants to be empowered and let loose is simply to do all the helping, serving, assisting and caring she wants to do. She likes the support role.

By way of comparison, back in the day I passed on dating a particular feminist friend that I was interested in. Nice girl, smart, pretty just with this huge feminist chip on her shoulder that I couldn’t be bothered with. I just slowly found it a turn off and never pursued her. As far as I could tell in our little Christian circle of friends she never ended up dating anyone, so if her goal was not to be taken advantage of by men – mission accomplished.

So if I have any particular genius in managing submission, it’s that I actually chose a submissive woman to marry. Really that’s about 80% of everything right there though to be honest I did all that unwittingly. The problem I had was that by nature I am neither submissive or dominant, but very highly self directed and introverted. This sums out to an appearance of me being submissive in a LTR. I’m not seeking dominance naturally, so my partners tend to end up taking the dominant role. Which in some cases pisses them off and pisses me off that I’m not allowed to be self-directed.

In Jennifer’s case she was so naturally submissive that she didn’t take control over things, but we’d end up in sort of mutual submission deadlocks. “What do you want to do?” “I dunno what do you want to do?”

All that happened was that after many years together I kind of woke up to the dynamic that was happening. Plus as I got greater self assurance as I aged and I became more interested in asserting myself on the world and becoming more dominant in my interactions with other people.

How that plays out between us now is pretty low key. Most people that know us don’t peg us as having some sort of dominant / submissive relationship,  it’s all pretty private and intimate. Well apart from the public blog and publishing of the whole thing, but I’m just saying that if you’re expecting her to be wearing a collar and sitting at my feet naked…

…oh hang on that’s actually kinda hot.

Sorry wandered off a little there. Um… yeah… oh okay, I just started experimenting with being more assertive towards her and she lapped it up. Now it’s really as much of a game between us as anything and I find simple tricks like planning dates or sexual positions just simple moves that work reliably and with minimal effort. She also says she doesn’t like being teased, but she very much responds to me drawing playful attention to her positive response when I am dominant sexually. Plus it really doesn’t hurt that I am a foot taller and outweigh her by 50%, there’s just a natural vibe that comes from that dynamic without even hinting at potential violence.

The point is that I’m not trying to make her submissive, she is naturally submissive. On one hand I’m just letting it happen by not stopping her playing the support role and on the other I’m creating opportunities for her to play it. My lordly discipline over her is usually just saying “thank you” when she does something nice for me. Plus being more proactive about giving her the sort of sex she likes more frequently which tends towards being firmer than I naturally lean to. Though I am gaining a taste for that.

Plus she’s competent, as in really really competent. I have no clue how I’d live without her.