1st Husband
2nd Father
3rd Son
4th Brother
5th Son-In-Law
6+ Anything Else
Screw that order of priority up and that might be the only thing you get to screw. There is no greater cockblock than siding with your mother against your wife.
Also it's completely vital to frame that as "I am a husband first" rather than "What my wife wants/needs is most important". Being a husband is a choice you are making for you and gives you the locus of being in self-control, marriage isn't something that is happening to you, it is something that you are making happen.
Which is not to say that you won't help somebody lower on the list, just that on balance you'll stick to it.
