Last night I went to the local Sushi bar with Bold Beta, Angry Beta and a few others, including one of their female coworkers that is getting divorced.
When I arrived BB was getting the phone number of a waitress to take to Dead Man Walking’s wedding this weekend. It pays to be bold, even in you’re beta. Never forget that.
For the background for BB, AB and DMW start here.
So we are sitting there, BB has made friends with the proprietor and the guy is giving us free food, including the Italian spaghetti he is attempting to make. I guess everyone needs to stretch their skills. Notice that BB is demonstrating higher value here, that didn’t hurt him with the waitress.
So we are chatting and a discussion comes up with the future divorced woman and at some point she indicates that she has requested full custody of her kids with the father getting them every other weekend.
Talleyrand: Really? Don’t the kids need to see their father more than that?
FDW: Oh no, I’ve spoken to my counselor about this and she says it isn’t healthy for the kids to bounce back and forth very much. They need one stable home.
Talleyrand: Your counselor says that?
FDW: She does, she has a video produced by the Michigan Bar that says as much.
Talleyrand: You trust lawyers over in Michigan?
FDW (laughing): When they’re right, I do. My ex is going to meet with my counselor and she’s going to explain how things would be better with the kids if they’re with me.
Talleyrand: Your counselor is going to do this?
FDW: Sure.
Talleyrand: You don’t see a conflict here?
FDW (brows furrow): I don’t see how, she has the kids’ best interest at heart.
Talleyrand: O.k.
FDW: Besides he works really long hours, sometimes til seven at night, how is that going to work if he has them half the time, I’ll still be picking them up all the time.
Talleyrand: The kids are teenagers, right?
FDW: Yes.
Talleyrand: Have you asked them what they want?
FDW: They want to be with me.
Later that evening AB discusses going over to DMW’s house and getting kicked out by his fiance.
AB: Dude, he called me to watch the game and I went over there and guess what he was doing?
Talleyrand: What?
AB (snickering): The laundry and the dishes.
Talleyrand: Kitchen Bitch already.
AB: Yeah. It’s sad. But that ain’t the funniest part.
Talleyrand: Do tell.
AB: TAW came in and said she was tired of his trash laying around and wanted him to get rid of it.
Talleyrand: He leaves trash around? Really?
AB (busting a gut): Yeah: Sports Illustrated. She made him give them all to me.
Talleyrand: Dude, I could use those in my office waiting area.
AB: They’re yours, man. Just take off the address.
Talleyrand: Fuck that, I’m leaving them on.
AB (laughing harder): Go ahead. He was going through the magazines and there were catalogs for all sorts of female shit, and DMW asks if he should throw those out too.
Talleyrand: I’m guessing not.
AB: Hell no, she wants to “Order a lot of stuff out of them.”
BB: I want to be the lawyer representing her during the divorce.
Talleyrand: That’s were the money is going to be.
BB: Thing is guys, you can’t say anything to him.
Talleyrand: We already tried, the man can save himself now, I could give a shit.
BB: You still going to the wedding.
Talleyrand: Oh yeah, I wouldn’t miss that train wreck for anything now.
BB: Taking anyone?
Talleyrand: No.
AB: Me neither. TAW is pissed off about it too, says I can’t go stag, that it isn’t traditional, like I care. You take a girl to a wedding she starts getting ideas, besides as Talleyrand says there’s going to be a lot of unhappy wives there, I’m dancing with all of them.
As an aside, AB got kicked out of TAW’s house (It sure isn’t his house even if he’s making the payments) for scaring her dog. Yep, the dog was shaking because AB yelled at the television screen during the game. Not TAW’s child from a one night stand, the dog. The fucking dog.
People wonder why I think pet ownership is a bad thing . . .
This weekend is the wedding. I will report back on the whole sordid affair.
