Do a search on google for marital rape and it turns up roughly 265,000 hits. Using the Bing search engine turns up 947,000 hits, but then again Bing seems to be smart enough to include ’spousal rape’ without asking. Who knew? Do a lexis/nexis search on rape and thousands of cases turn up. Do a lexis/nexis search on marital rape and only 68 cases turn up.
Wikipedia has nice article defining spousal rape as non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim’s spouse.
Many states actually had exceptions in their statutes making it impossible for a husband to be charged with raping his wife for forcing her to provide sexual favors. In all 50 states spousal rape is currently illegal. South Dakota was the first to make it so in 1975 and North Carolina the last in 1993 (UPDATE: This link found through the link to the case below seems to make it a little less clear that all states make spousal rape illegal). The first case I remember in my state occurred back when I was a little kid in the late ’70s. My memory is fuzzy, but I seem to think the husband was convicted (UPDATE: He was found not guilty, H/T Sestamibi) of raping his wife. The trial was front page news around here at the time. I do remember that the guy seemed to be a nondescript business man type and the wife was a babe.
Living as I do in one of the bluest of the blue states, I did find it amusing that oral and anal are still considered deviant sexual acts. Not surprising. We are all felons in the eyes of our government, you just may not know it. I’m still waiting (and expecting) the knock in the middle of the night, the jack booted thugs dragging me out of bed and away from my home, but we’ve quite a way to go before the government resorts to that kind of wholesale action. I hope anyway.
The funny thing about those 68 cases is that they are almost all appeals by husbands claiming that it is not possible for them to rape their wives (obviously pre-revision to their respective state statutes). And in those cases the court has found that if the husband was estranged, separated, and/or in the midst of a divorce, then the statutory exception for husbands cannot apply. Regardless, if you’re in the midst of a divorce my recommendation is to NOT try to fuck your soon to be ex-wife. Pathetic.
There was one funny case from Ohio. A defendant claimed he couldn’t be convicted of rape because he and his gay lover were married. The court essentially said that everyone knows gays can’t get married and be husband and wife so the rape exception did not apply. Still, it was good for a chuckle.
It does not appear that DA’s have been willing to indict and try husbands for raping their wives. So claims by wives that their husbands have raped them seem to be predominantly a play for sympathy. A play of the victim card. It is arguable (and I would argue) that sexual consent is given once the husband and wife sign the marriage contract (I’m not saying it is necessarily wise to jump your wife regardless of her feelings. If you are married, your mileage may vary). Claims otherwise are simply false.
So the next time you hear a married woman claim her husband raped her, do what I do. Laugh at her, and tell her she gave her consent on her wedding day. Then sit back and watch her blow her top, spew shaming language, and get all in a huff.
