…then I’d treat this gal as she says she desires and then get the ass raping of my life. Girls who write this kind of shit have no idea what they really desire. They tell men this stuff, but then never give a guy who acts like this the time of day.
How to be an willing slave or sacrifice on the feminist altar, or…
72 things Guys should know about Girls <3…
She even puts in a heart emoticon. I just threw up.
1. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
‘not saying anything’ would be all the time. My advice? After the who, what, when, where, and how, you should hang up. If she wants to talk, tell her to call a girlfriend.
2. When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go.
Two points in and I’m already doubting this gal has been with any man who would treat her in such a manner. When she’s mad, ignore her. Eventually she’ll come to you to air her grievances. In the mean time, go do something you want to do.
3. When she says she’s ok dont believe it, talk with her.
The first part may be true, the second part is bad advice. If she says she’s ok and she’s not, it’s not my problem. I don’t care.
4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
WTF? Don’t call her on her birthday? You should be banging. Otherwise, you’re a AFC choad.
5. Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Fuck, this gal want’s your life to revolve around your woman. Yeah, that’ll work. Call her so she knows you’re a tool with no life.
6. Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
And she’ll jump into the sack with the next best thing that comes her way. Which by any count would be just about every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the universe.
8. Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.
No thanks. I gotta speed this up or it’ll run on forever. I’m going to start skipping a few points here or there.
9. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
I bet this gal watches Glee and every version of Pride and Prejudice ever created. I used to do point 9. Now I just say no, I’m watching X, Y, or Z.
10. Give her the world.
One, it’s not possible, and two, it’ll never be enough.
12. Let her know she’s important.
Important how? I’m sure she means in every way. Here’s a hint for this gal. Always keep her guessing. Give her the emotional roller coaster that she craves. That’s better advice.
13. Kiss her in the pouring rain.
Overrated.
14. When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is:
“Who’s ass am I kicking babe?”
Women can cry over just about anything. My LTR will cry during fucking TV commercials. If she wants comforting fine, but don’t over do it and for fuck sake, remember there’s often no rhyme or reason for the tears.
15. If your watching a movie, let her lay on your chest and put your arm around her. Don’t always try to make out during a movie, its OK to just chill, unless she suggests otherwise.
ABC. Always Be Closing. Why the fuck does she have to suggest otherwise? Nuh’uh. If she’s laying on me and I get the urge I always escalate. You should too.
16. leave us cute text/notes, especially when we are upset, this shows us that you really care about you and how we feel.
Women do this, why should I?
17. tell us we look beautiful, we sometimes really feel down on ourselves and just need someone to say to us that we look beautiful. We really like it if you do.
sometimes? All the time. Why not be honest? Women fish for complements like the apostles fished for men.
21. If you are in a group of other girls with your girlfriend, make it seem like she is the only one you are interested in talking to.
No, let her see you flirting with the other women. Give her that spike of jealousy.
22. Pay attention to them. Girls will tell a guy they trust anything. Even if you don’t care about what shes saying, at least pretend to be paying attention.
Yeah, and just think what she’s telling her girlfriends about you. It’s not hard to be aloof and indifferent when she’s babbling on about nothing.
25. Girls don’t take fighting very well. They either get really sad.. or they get pissed and get bitchy. So, don’t start fights.
Fights happen regardless. People get on each others nerves. Those things that are charming at the beginning of a relationship often end up being annoying later on. Basically she’s saying it’s ok if she starts a fight, but you shouldn’t do it. I’m not buying.
27. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
Most people think they’re good at lying. Most people aren’t. Here’s my two rules for lying: 1) only tell a part of the truth and keep it simple, or 2) tell the whole truth but tell it so poorly as to make it unbelievable.
28. Girls are pretty, but yours is ALWAYS the Prettiest!
Beauty is a commodity, there’s nothing special about it. Who is your ideal woman?
29. It’s good to be sensitive, sometimes.
30. If you did something wrong..
APOLOGIZE.
Ha ha ha. Be sensitive…“I’m gonna gut you, boy!” I used to apologize. It got me in trouble. I don’t apologize anymore.
31. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it.
Vain and self-centered too. Such is the nature of woman.
34. Never call your girl a bitch, because then she’ll show you how much of a bitch she can be.
Which came first the chicken or the egg? Act like a bitch and I’ll call you one to your face.
35. Don’t try to be controlling- that’s so lame.
In this case I totally agree. Wow, only took just under half her list to get to a truism.
36. Don’t check out *other* pretty girls. It’s okay to browse, but if you make it abundantly clear you like what you see- it’s on.
No, no, no. Always check out other girls. Make sure she’s aware that you’re checking them out too. As far as her checking out other men thinking you’ll get jealous. Tell her to go ahead, help her agree and amplify or remain aloof and indifferent. Maintain frame.
37. Don’t cheat you freaking losers. If someone doesn’t make you happy, LEAVE THEM! Don’t cheat. COME ON NOW!
It’s not cheating if you’re up front with your expectations and non-exclusivity. On the other hand, if you’re married and/or have kids you may be stuck. Then again, you could end up in a relationship like this one.
38. Its not the big things, the big gifts, or the big surprises that mean the most- ask any girl (that isn’t a money hungry cow)…and she’ll tell you that its the small, sweet things that mean the most.
Only half true I think. In reality it’s the unexpected gifts that mean the most. If there’s a presumption that a man should give a gift, ie Valentine’s Day, Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas then it has no true value.
39. If you know, or have a feeling, that a girl likes you, don’t EVER make fun of her, or say anything bad about her. If she finds out, she will be very hurt, and start thinking stuff like “how could I ever think I had a chance with him”. It keeps her thinking about that one thing forever, and it doesn’t make you look good either.
I’ll have to assume she’s referring to talking about a girl behind her back so to speak. Making fun of a girl you’re interested is a necessary part of gaming her.
40. Don’t show off, it’s not cool. Looking stupid is cute, and girls would much rather that, than you trying to show off.
The first part is good advice. You’ll just look like a tool who’s trying too hard. Looking stupid is a DLV.
41. When it’s obvious a girl doesn’t look her best (it happens to all of us), say she looks pretty, especially if she is your girlfriend- although, it’s nice too even when she is just your friend OR if it’s pretty obvious the girl spent hours looking good for you, give her compliments – little things like that mean everything.
And pretty soon she’ll stop putting any effort into her looks. Much better to give her a compliment and then a takeaway. Keep her guessing.
42. A lot of girls love to cuddle. But that doesn’t mean that cuddling HAS to lead to other things.
Yes, yes it does. You don’t want ‘other things’ then go find yourself a dog.
43. Not every girl admits it, but its true- WE LOVE TO BE KISSED IN THE RAIN.
I put this one in just so you know that the items I’ve been leaving out are the ones where this twit repeats herself. God, I’m already past 1500 words on this crap.
44. Yes, It’s true, it’s cute when guys show their emotions.
Well that all depends. Which emotions do you want to see. Anger, Passion, Lust? What about fear and sadness? Bet she doesn’t want to see that side at all.
45. Remind your girlfriend you love her often. Say it whenever and wherever you can, and as much as possible.
Why would I want to do that? Say it often enough and it loses all meaning. Pretty soon, she’ll be off looking for someone else to cuddle with and do ‘other things.’
46. Give her compliments, such as “your beautiful”, and “your gorgeous”, and “your pretty”. They mean a hell of a lot more than, “damn girl you are fine”, or “you’re hot!” AND don’t feel stupid saying it either. Really. We do prefer the first ones better.
I find this one telling. She professes to want the first type of compliments, but it seems that the waters she trolls haul in more sharks than fish.
47. WE LIKE BEING CALLED GIRLS, NOT CHICKS, SHAWTY, HOTTIE OR ANY OTHER STUPID NAMES YOU HAVE. UNLESS, its some cute little nikcname or something you gave us, those are cute
.
Yep, another emoticon. She’s right, you should be creative and give your girl a nickname.
48. Writing poems or songs for girls, really is the sweetest thing ever. Even if it looks like a three year old wrote it, it still is cute.
I say you should never do this expect under a few conditions: 1) you’re a famous musician, 2) you’re a published poet/artsy type, or 3) you’re smart enough to write cruel, cutting, barbed lyrics/poetry. If you fit one of these three criteria, you’ve already got her on an emotional see saw.
49. If there are pictures of you two together or something, it IS always cute when you make it your display picture on msn. Or your profile picture on facebook, myspace, or any other account you have.
If you play the field this will get you in trouble.
51. When the time comes to break up with a girl, do it yourself, and do it in person. Let her down NICELY, and always explain why. NEVER ever get someone to do it for you. You may think it’s the way to go, for less tears and just making it easier for her, but trust us, it isn’t..
I actually don’t disagree. If you want to break up then be a man about it, and do it in person. Honestly the why part always seems to be platitudes and/or cliche. She’s heard it before anyway. Judging by this point, this woman’s been dumped..a lot.
52. It’s hard for a girl to admit she likes you. So when she does, don’t act grossed out.
53. If you like a girl, TELL her. And don’t be afraid too. In most cases, girls are extremely understanding, and would really like to know who likes her and who doesn’t. It might even turn out she likes you back.
Wait a minute. Did a 12 year old write this? Boost her ego, tell her you like her. Then you can be LJBF’d for eternity.
54. always stick up for a girl, especially if it’s a guy picking on her. It shows a lot in a guy.
Bro’s before Ho’s, honey. ‘Always’ can encompass a lot of shitty behavior that a woman should be called out on.
55. Don’t mess around with our hearts.
Where’s the fun in that?
57. When a girl did something, that obviously made her feel stupid, or embarrassed, don’t make her feel even more stupid or embarrassed. Comfort us, and tell us its okay.
I prefer bemused silence.
61. when we say we are ugly, or fat or whatever, we aren’t waiting for you to agree – we are waiting for you to say, “NO you’re not fat, at all your perfect” or” NO you’re not ugly, your beautiful, don’t ever change.”
What did I say about fishing for compliments? On the one hand girls want guys to tell them that they’re wrong, on the other, they won’t believe you when you give them the compliment they were fishing for. Lose/Lose shit test.
63. Make the first move. Sometimes, the girl is too shy to.
Truism. Back to ABC.
64. If you JUST meet a girl, and you’re saying gross sexual things to her, and she says something like, “go die” or “stop talking to me” leave her alone, she means that.
Man there are a lot of gameless tools out there.
65. If we hang up on you, call back. If we continue, then you continue.
No, no, no. You hang up on me on purpose, I’m done. Calling back is letting her control the frame.
71. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the crap out of him.
Right or duty? Ah, fuck it anyway. There are times when violence is necessary, but as the man you better be aware of the longer term consequences of your action. She sure as shit won’t be thinking about them.
72. Don’t stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
Fine, no date, I just want to bang on me drum all day. After 2400 words I’m feeling a bit loopy. That was an amusing diversion.
