Back when I was at the University, I had a fraternity brother who would pull a lot of passive aggressive shit. The kind of thing he would typically do was wait until it was time to leave for some outing in order to do some mundane task. Now, this mundane task didn’t need to be done right that instant, but it was his way to stall so that everyone else was waiting on him to get his shit together so we could leave.
I have known all too many women who also pull this act. In my experience it is more common to see this behavior in women than the woman who is always on time. I was living with a gal one time and she and two friends were getting together at our place before heading out to meet up with another friend. The first girlfriend showed up fashionably late and ready to go. The second (a married gal) was late. And when I say late, I mean a hour and a half late. No calls, no texts, she just didn’t show up for 90 minutes. The gal I was living with didn’t get mad, she was worried for her friend. I told her that after 30 minutes and no answer on late girl’s cell phone, she could assume late girl forgot and head out. This did not go over well. I was told that friendships could end if they left without late girl. I pointed out that this so called friend wasn’t much of a friend if she was making these two wait and jump to her tune. If the two of them left they would teach the late gal a lesson and she would be less inclined to do it again in the future. My logical reasoning was incapable of penetrating her emotional armor (armour, for Krauser and Snark).
Most married men I know complain about their wives propensity to find a million things to do right when it is time to head out the door. Maybe it’s the wife who decides she has to do her hair one more time before they leave, or maybe it’s one more outfit change because they are unhappy with how what they are wearing is fitting, who knows? These women would all be crushed if their man actually told them that redoing their hair or changing their outfit actually makes no difference in how they look. They believe there is a difference, therefore they can feel better about the face they show to all the people they’ll never see again.
As an aside. There was a PUA blogger (probably Dating Chronicles of Tyler) who pointed out that one should always go out looking their best because you never know when you’ll run across a woman you’ll want to run game on. The are a couple of differences to the situation I described above. Most guys plan ahead so that they aren’t preparing their outfit and grooming at the exact time they should be heading out of the house. The other difference is that guys can get ready to go in about a fifth of the time it takes women to get ready. We really don’t have as much to do.
I have seen married men handle the last minute mundane task thing in a couple of ways. Neither was to just leave their wives at home. The best seems to be telling their wives that they need to leave at an earlier time than they really do. This works fine as long as the wife never catches on and/or the husband never actually tells her that is what he is doing. I do not know why they would tell their wives they are doing this. Once the wife becomes aware of the time offset it’s all over. She’ll once again procrastinate until the desired departure time before heading off to her mundane task. The other method I’ve seen used is the husband accepts the delay and does his own thing. Then when the wife is ready to leave she can let her husband know. The only drawback to this is the wife who won’t announce to her husband when she is done with her inanities. One guy I know ended up regularly being 40 minutes late instead of 20 because his wife would sit around and wait but not tell him she was ready to go. Some good communication skills there.
So I’m curious. For those guys who are married, were married, or living with a woman. Have you experienced the last minute task, and how did you handle it? Maybe Athol Kay from Married Man Sex Life has some better ideas on how to handle the last minute mundane task delay.
UPDATE: Athol Kay responds.
